Congrats stick with it you got it no prob 💪 I was a really bad addict for over 10 years last person anyone thought could get clean I just celebrated 2 years clean and I lost 100 lbs
@@midwestoutlaw3194 Than you so much for giving me your words of encouragement. It gives me so much hope and faith that I can live a substance free life. 4th of July came and left...those holidays are very difficult for me to navigate. I was sober :) and guilt free. Have a great day ! 😃
When she described her all time favorite memory, with her children all laying on her in bed and falling asleep on her... I teared up. This woman is in so much pain. I believe her when she says she was an amazing mother. I truly hope she can find her way back to her children.
@littlebigharvest - Coming from a broken home, then being handed another one by that news, all while having 3 children must have been a huge devastating trauma blow.
I believe her too. My Daughter was an amazing Mother too, a Mother that everyone wanted to be like until alcohol took over her entire life, she lost everything including her life. She passed away last August and it broke my whole families heart, she was only 39 and killed herself with alcohol in less than 2 years. My heart aches for this Woman, nobody chooses to be addicted and miserable.
As the child of an alcoholic father: do NOT judge her children for cutting her off. The emotional turmoil that addicts leave in their path is taxing and traumatic, not to mention repetitive. I pray that this woman finds peace within herself, but we should also wish the same for her children. Sometimes to obtain that peace, it means going no contact.
I don’t care how traumatic it was for any of them but I would let my mother be homeless on the streets I would help her get sober and love her and make sure she had a home to live in if u listen to her story she didn’t start drinking until her husband was having and affair and it’s hereditary in her family
@@Liam-he4giyou say that but you don’t know that until it happens to you. No contact is a protective device to save their own mental health, You are wrong
Only one of her children cut her off-one of her sons. I would have to get her a place-or she could live w me but w the alcohol it might prove impossible. What a horrible situation. I wish them all the best. ❤
@@JamesG1126Shut up. Really, just shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about, and what you’re saying isn’t helpful. If what you’re saying were true, alcoholism wouldn’t exist. And there are alcoholics literally in all walks of life. From the bum on the street, to the super rich executives to the everyday worker bees.
I had sobriety from alcohol for 17 years, then I went back out for 10. I'm now 1yr and 8months sober again, One Day at a Time. Get to AA honey, every day. You can save what's left of your life. The fellowship will help you. I pray at every meeting for those still suffering, inside and outside the program. We love you and we can help you.
I was a chronic relapser for years, I have 19 years and 8 months, I can never forget what I am because this disease wants me dead, so glad you shared because we can never forget what we are❤
Unless you have lived with an alcoholic or drug addict in your life, it's hard to explain how you can get to the point you cut off a loved one like this. It gets so old and so exhausting hoping a loved one gets sober only to see them fail again and again and again. My mom was mentally ill, an alcoholic and a crack addict. I saw all of this destroy her and end up killing her at 51. Now I am dealing with my only sister who has a meth problem. I am so damn tired of dealing with addicts in my life. They can suck every bit of happiness out of you.
My heart goes out to your mom. So many people treat mental illness by self medicating with alcohol and drugs. A lot of people out there, never seek therapy or psychiatrists, they say “I’m not crazy, I just do this to unwind”. It’s treating a broken leg with a band aid.
She has so much potential. your husband thrived, your children thrived because you’re a great mother and a great wife. now it’s time to be that great mother to yourself and let yourself heal. Once you’ve accomplished that, I believe the world and your relationships will open up to you again. They’re not far away. You just have to choose you instead of your addiction and things will blossom. Easier said than done but there’s so much hope here. ❤
My heart hurts for this woman. I hope we see an update on Lisa soon. This interview really hit me. I pray Lisa can dig deep into her strength and quit drinking. Alcohol truly is the devil. Sending her the warmest hugs and prayers! 🙏🏽💜
I mean it’s easy for you to say if you aren’t a child of an alcoholic. Change is the best way to show you’re sorry. I didn’t forgive my parents til they were at least 2+ years sober and showed they changed.
I’ve been going thru alcoholism for the last ten years, I’m 34 now. I’ve managed to still enjoy parts of my life and get through these years ‘functioning’, but boy have I had some disgraceful decisions and choices along the way. These have tarnished my young life. They’ve rattled my parents. It changes you into another person, but the buck stops with the drinker I’m afraid to say. I feel for this woman, it’s such a dangerous drug.
That was the age I stopped drinking, I went and seek therapy, and in my opinion you can get the same quality of therapy by conversing with old people than at an office of someone that has a piece of paper that says "he's a therapist" , i'd very much recommended to go to volunteer at these facilities for elderly folks and tell them straight up the purpose of your visit, for conversation companion, believe me there's lot of folks out there that'll appreciate that very much...
I completely agree. It killed my best friend I’m also a alcoholic and I live alone I want to stop but I can’t alone. I’m too prideful to ask for help , my liver is starting to fail and I still drink I don’t get it I’ve been able to let go of all other drugs except this one.
@@karlwalter2242A Sweet inspiration for all to consider ❤ I would give you my knowledge of how to survive 💯 😌 Remember all advice from older people depend on the life of a person who lived thinking in their own reflection
I don't want to come across as harsh, but just truthful. As the adult child of an alcoholic, your oldest son doesn't have contact with you for many reasons. Frustration being the least of them. Please find it within yourself to give your children all that they want from you: A sober Mother.
My daughter is a alcoholic. There i said it. I am so numb after putting her out recently. I truly love her but cant let her destroy my grandsons life with her drinking. She is in rehab right now, and we just had a conversation yesterday. She said she is just now understanding the pain and chaos she is putting us through . But I can say, there is peace in my home now. The hardest thing as a mother is knowing you cant fix everything and to let your kids own up to there issues. From a long line of Alcoholics in my family, I truely hate the disease. 😢
I am in the process my daughter is a alcoholic.. but she is a thousand miles away from me. I sure miss the other side of her I told her not long ago.. alcohol steals precious time from you & your loved ones.. I miss her so bad 😢
@debbieb.2096 I will pray for your daughters recovery 🙏🏿 hoping she finds her way and beats this horrible disease . I'm sure like my daughter, when she is sober she is the most amazing person ❤️
Lisa is like all of the rest of us - only one or two decisions away from major life change - I hope she finds the courage to get healthy and can reconnect with her kids. She is likable and real.
I can have empathy for her trauma, but let’s normalize not using “I gave birth to you” as a reason your child should continue a relationship with you. I wish this woman the strength to look inward and forgive herself, and respect that having an alcoholic parent is traumatic. Wishing Lisa recovery and strength.
As she said in the video she was drinking when the kids were living at home. We don’t know how her drinking affected them. It’s best to respect their decision to not speak to her because we really don’t know the whole story. I know a lot of people that say their children don’t talk to them when they were a wonderful mom or dad when it’s not even close to the truth.
@@jazminmendoza8539 where did she say she just drank casually? She literally said she was an alcoholic which could damage her relationship with her children. Personally I’ll never drink in front of my children but I was raised with my mom and dad both being alcoholics and being abusive either emotionally or physically.
My mother was an alcoholic, and she put us through hell. She never got better, and I gave her chance after chance, after chance for years and years and years. Finally about the last 15 years of her life, I had nothing to do with her and when she was in the hospital dying, I went in there and told her while she was hooked up to machines. Because of her own doing, drinking. I told her you were an awful, horrible mother. But, I forgive you. I walked out and I didn’t go to the funeral. A drunk is one of the most difficult people to be around. I am literally 49 years old and this woman looks like she’s 25 years older than me! To this day. I don’t drink because I cannot stand what it does to people and I know this might sound harsh, I’ve just been hurt too badly because of it.
Sometimes being cold and calloused twords your alcoholic is the one thing that saves you from being an alcoholic. I too am an adult child of an alcoholic married to a functioning alcoholic. So I understand. ❤
Yes i agree whole heartedly. My mother was a severe alcoholic and i threatened to have nothing to do with her and she got clean. Its been 3 yrs so far but ur always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I dont touch the stuff. The smell of it turns my stomach. U did the right thing to protect ur sanity and ur peace. Sorry for ur loss
You are a true fucking asshole! Who the fuck goes to their parents death bed and says that! You think you did something right but you did the opposite. You will live with this the rest of your asshole life
Sometimes you just gotta let that shit go, if you keep having a victim mentality you'll never be free from your past. But yeah alcohol has way too much value in our society and it's too easy to get and somewhat accepted even when people are getting terribly drunk to the point of danger or crashing cars fighting, and people laugh about it like it's a funny thing to witness. I see people literally face plant downtown, on the sidewalk, because they got way over served at the bar. Like why is that allowed to happen! I see people pulling guns when they're so drunk, starting fights, going to jail, breaking o, everything. And the day after when you wake up from getting that drunk is literally the worst feeling in the world for me personally.
How blessed I feel that I was able to get sober 39 years ago and stay sober. It is my greatest peace that my daughter never had to deal with me as a drunk. God willing I will remain sober the rest of my days.
My parents didn't drink but my late husband of 35 years was a functional alcoholic. It is hereditary as his dad was also. It is a disease that kills you slowly. My husband died in my arms for liver cancer. Our 33 year old son is recovering from alcoholism now. AA is a fantastic organization. Take care Lisa and hope you get help. It's never to late til it's to late. Unconditional love to all who are fighting to stay sober✨️🙏✨️
and there are situations were one's forced to take substances they don't want to I was literally held down and forced to take amp when I was I little kid I started to lash out and fight random people just for fun and it made me think about how life is pointless and so on I was like six years old..
She thinks she was an amazing mom but from her own admission she started drinking after she and her husband ended their youngest was still a baby and her other two kids were very young. She probably doesn’t remember or acknowledge the pain she put them through as an alcoholic mother. There’s a reason her children put distance between themselves and her and I’m sure they have tried to help her in the past. I come from a family with several people who have alcohol and or drug addiction. It’s painful to try to help someone you love when they can’t accept help over and over and again and at some point you need to let them go for your own mental and physical health.
One of my nieces walked away from her alcoholic parents at 18. Her sister hung in, enabling, and constantly tried to save them until their deaths. Now years later the enabling niece is a mess mentally and her sister is leading a good life. I think the sister who walked away made the best decision.
Yeah exactly. All people like that do is drag you down to their level. This lady was giving me manipulator vibes the entire time. I get the feeling shes hiding a lot in this interview.
@@swelldritch2774Yes. The hard reality is that in order to get better, she’ll have to take 100% responsibility for her current situation. It’s a tough pill to swallow but it will lead to a better place
i've been drinking more than i should lately, because i've had to quit weed. I'm gonna stop for a little bit, I'm grateful I saw this. I hope she gets help.
I’d like to add that alcoholism is most likely the cause of anxiety and depression. I was never more depressed than the time which I was drinking. It made everything 10x worse. Never had that anxiety and depression again after I quit and changed my life
my mom is a drunk. she moved across the globe with her new drunk husband about 15 years ago and my life is so much better now. basically she is just a disembodied voice i talk to a couple times a year and i couldnt be happier. its too much to deal with.
It is the biggest struggle that I have ever endured. Have made bad decision after bad decision. Lost the absolute love of my life, housing, job etc. Somehow have managed to keep my two vehicles, But that is literally all that I have. I have thrown my life away so many times because of alcohol. So, finally, about 2 weeks ago, I tossed a few necessities into my truck and entered a sober living facility with intensive out patient treatment and I attend as many meetings as I can. Some people can have alcohol in their lives and function normally and some absolutely cannot have it whatsoever. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It seems as if the grief and shame will never go away; nor will the persistent question that I ask myself every single day: Why did I do it over and over, knowing what the eventual outcome would be? It is far more than addiction. At 42 years old, I feel as if I am only just beginning to live a life. Alcohol and my choices have destroyed everything that I thought I stood for. Hang in there. Get help if you want to live.🧡
I am grateful to hear you are getting help. With continued support and therapy the guilt and shame will get better. It was a viscous cycle for me, I couldn’t let go of the shame, I hated myself. So I would end up drinking again. Only when I learned to talk about it and learn to let it go a little at a time was I able to stay sober. Blessing to you! Keep fighting! I believe in you. You are worthy.
I’ve been having some reoccurring troubles with some very close family members. I have been to the point of pushing them out. Hearing this gives me the strength to show more compassion and not to count them out. Thank you for saying that. I needed to hear it. ✌🏻🖤🐺
Actually Alanon teaches the best thing you can do is push them out. You have to do what’s healthy for you. Forgiving too much doesn’t help them, it enables. There is no reason for them to change when drinking isn’t making them loose things.
@@WrappedInFoil if someone is honest, even if they have relapsed, if they can be honest about, that is something that matters & u can work with them, but if they lie, then i don't know how to work with that.
I understand you have been through a lot, to say the least. But you don't know all the trauma your mom went through. We tend to shelter our children. I guarantee she needs your love. I believe you are doing the right thing by her and You!
Do not go down the tubes with them. A person can only take so much before you will end up sick from the chaos. Compassion is good, enabling is not and they can feel very similar.
Thank you for sharing your story Lisa. I can relate so much. I am also 50 and have 2 boys and a girl as well. Their father also had an affair that resulted in another woman getting pregnant. My drinking started after they left home. I fell into a terrible depression. I got sober after about 10 years of daily heavy drinking and relapsed but have been sober again for about 3 months. It is still tough and my mind still wants to just give up a lot but I literally take it one day at a time. Sometimes one minute at a time and just remind myself how bad I had become. No matter how down I am I never want to go backwards. You can do this! You have so much to offer. I understand the struggle but hang in there. We are our worst judge and jury but redemption is real. Sending you much love!
As a person in recovery, I suggest you lean in. There is pain in recovery, but there are joys too. A person has to be willing to process the pain sober. That’s when you learn to live without turning to your old, destructive crutch, your substance of choice. No matter what, you DON’T use, because it only leads to the same old defeating decisions. No matter what.
My mom suffered from alcoholism most of her life. I watched her die 2 years ago. I imagine this women as my mom answering similar questions. I regret being so harsh with her
Alcoholism hurts the non-alcoholics in the family too. It is hard to be loving and allow them access to your lives. They are destructive and they can take you down too. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes your own self-preservation requires you to disconnect from the addicts in your life.
I was married to an alcoholic and he destroyed our family and nearly killed me. I understand how her kids feel. It’s exhausting and it’s a cycle of continuous betrayal, hurt and disappointment. I finally divorced him and been free and happy for the past 7 years. We have remained amicable for the sake of our child.
If you have to say you were a great mom that's probably not the truth. If one of your children doesn't talk to you that's a big sign that things have been wrong. Everyone makes mistakes and you have to admit that and accept it, part of recovering from alcoholism is doing that. She's not there yet.
As a child of an alcohlic mother- i know the pain runs deep. While they are in the drunken stupor sleeping it off, the kids are left wondering whats wrong with mom constantly. Its good that you are giving her a voice and ability to talk about it. The kids should have a voice too
Depression and anxiety can go hand in hand. Lisa, you deserve help AND to be happy. You are so worth it. I'm rooting for you and now so many others are behind you all the way. I understand not having a support system. Not having much family. It's so hurtful. No one is invincible and you weren't given a great hand--but you can totally turn that around. Sending love to you.❤️❤️❤️
Lisa has a big heart and I can tell how much she loves her children. She is very intelligent. I hope she kind find a new perspective on the life she still has to live. I am rooting for her to get sober.
I recognize this poor lady. 21 years ago I was her. God stepped in and delivered me in an instant from 25 years of alcoholism and 19 years within that of cocaine addiction. I will help her if I can. Plz tell me how.
I broke down with her when she started talking about her children. I grew up with alcoholic abusive parents and it was pure hell yet we have a civil relationship today. Addiction, alcoholism and mental disorders run rampant in my and my partners families and we work so hard to break the trauma cycle and consciously parent our son but I ruminate on his future. I feel like my anxiety/depression & bpd issues will negatively impact him. Like Lisa said "mom will do great for a year, mom will fuck up for a year." My mom had the same pattern. I hope you can find peace with your children and stay strong through your struggles. I can't thank you enough for your vulnerability and thank you to Mark for what you do.
Lisa knows she is not alone. She knows she is not defined by her addiction, but by her choices. She knows she is not perfect, but she is worthy. She knows she is not done, but she is enough.
Awwww, bless you Lisa, you are such a beautiful person. Please direct some of your love towards yourself. Get better for your kids. You all deserve that .Never give up. I don't judge you. Love from NZ xxx
My heart goes out to you Lisa. I'm a recovering alcoholic from a family of alcoholics and married unhealthy men throughout those times. I'm in AA and it helped me crawl out of my hole. I hope you find your way to recovery, we fall off and get back up. You can do it too❤. Go slow though detox, find a meeting, follow your dads path, you have his amazing gene, as do your kids, right?❤
Without the things I learned in AA from my fellow alcoholics, I could not stay sober. I love the fact that WE stay sober by helping each other. When I isolate from my peers who understand the compulsion to use, I return to my old solution, substance abuse. Recovery support keeps us from believing the lie that (in my case, alcohol) using again will relieve the pain or discomfort. That temporary fix only makes the hole I’ve dug deeper. ❤
My mom was an alcoholic most of my life. It hurt to see the way she took her pain out on herself that way. She raised my brother and I with unconditional love, and for the most part was an amazing mom, but some of the scars from her drinking addiction still sting decades later. She came from a family that avoided their problems, hid their traumas and used anything to numb the pain rather than confront it. Thankfully she has been 2 years sober now, something I never thought I'd see as long as I lived. I am proud of her but sad too, I wished it could have been different years ago. I avoid alcohol like the god damn plague, it's a fucking demon.
Lisa please get help. You're only 50 years old but this lifestyle is rapidly aging you. Stop obsessing on a failed marriage, stop obsessing on your grown children, just do you, one step at a time. 💖💖🙏🙏
Lisa seems like a sweet woman where alcohol ran through her family. I hope she finds the strength to get free of it and reconnect with her children and normality xx
My auntie passed away a decade or so from alcoholism. She weighed less than 70# and was 5 foot 7. She had sticks for arms and legs and a big belly, I lost it after I saw her before she passed away. It was so incredibly sad. Lisa reminds me of her. Face, thinness and all of it. I hope she gets help.
Bless your sweet soul Lisa.. You are not alone, you will get through this. Please don't give up on yourself and like your mother, have compassion for yourself.. Stay strong warrior woman 💪
Alcohol is a destructive monster…I grew up in an alcoholic home, I was a hard heavy drinker from my teens till I got alcoholic hepatitis in 2001. 22 years later I still gotta push the whisky out of my head. “Whisky you’re the 👿 “ Lisa I am praying for you 🙏. You shall escape this. God bless you.
Growing up with an alcoholic parent is something that can sentence your life in a way one would never imagine, unless they've gone through it. I just turned 30 and I've been trying to "fix" things at home for most of my life...but you can't help anybody by force. And I've just realized, in the past 2-3 years, that I've suffered irreversible damage from it, damage that has made me choose a path of loneliness, of fear and terror at the tought of even the possibility of ever having to share my life with an alcoholic....It's heartbreaking and so difficult to explain it to people who've never lived through it. I'm not blaming the situation at home, as we should make our own decisions and choices, but I'm just admitting to the harsh reality of the impact it's had on me....They ask "Why don't you get married and have kids?"....If only they knew...
I realize that Lisa did this interview with the hope that her children will see it. She was appealing to them for forgiveness. Obviously, she loves them dearly But I am sure they have valid reasons for why they aren't in close contact. I am sure they begged her to stop drinking many times probably saying "Do it for us." But an alcoholic can't "do it for someone else" no matter how much they love them...they have to want it for themselves. When that confrontation happens and the drinker doesn't quit, the kids feel like she doesn't care enough about them to quit and then the drinker feels even more shame than they already felt! And shame is a huge black hole. I feel a lot of compassion for Lisa. The hole is deep and the sides slippery...she isn't going to get out by herself, certainly not in the shape she is in now.
Having a relationship of any kind breaks you down little by little until there is nothing left. Yes they deserve love and compassion, but it is not right to ask someone to sacrifice themselves for someone who may not be able to be saved. If you do not deal with your own pain, it hurts your loved ones.
One of my best friends in my life was a heavy drinker for decades . He hung himself last December - he was only 60. I am still so heartbroken and I will miss him forever . The alcohol just took everything wonderful from him. The grief is so intense. I wanted to tell him how much he meant to me . I didn’t get the chance.
Us children of alcoholic parents know how real the struggle is to separate the person from the addiction. I don't consider alcoholism a disease, but certainly an addiction. But it's so hard, because you love the person but hate hate hate then drunk version of them. You experience a whole gamut of negative emotions, embarrassment, shame, hatred, pity, anger,fear. It becomes so hard to see the person after a while. But it is important to go to Al-Anon family support and talk about these negative feelings. I hope she gets off the street and gets into a detox programme.
@@Turnpost2552 l threw bottles of liquor away my whole life, watered it down, fought with my family member, got upset, raged, tried support groups, but honestly, it doesn't stop an alcoholic from buying more. You have to make your peace with an alcoholic parent.
You never know what someone is going through. Be nice. Lisa sending you a big hug. I hope Mark helps her get into detox and treatment. It's not too late.
I can relate to this story a lot. Being cheated on after a 7 year relationship was the catalyst for my alcoholic behavior, which led to depression and anxiety. I feel for this woman, because alcohol and depression/anxiety just become a vicious circle. Climbing out of that pit takes superhuman strength both physical and mental.
The interview with Lisa was so powerful for me. I have a sister that is an alcoholic. I pray that Lisa can get the help she so much deserves. Praying for Lisa!
Thank you so much for your story, I myself have struggled with alcohol and it is so devastating. I hope you are able to maintain sobriety because it sounds like you are loved very deeply. ❤
Her depression, sorrow and hole in her heart is real. Ive been there, sober since 2004,she has to believe that she deserves love herself from herself. I pray she gets it, this isn't a self-pity story, it's a story of utter hopelessness and if death doesn't frighten her (as it didn't me) then hopefully hope and doing the right thin will.Those AA meetings meant the world to me too but more importantly, the literature,I read and read and read until I began to understand that it is a disease of the mind. She.knows what to do, I.pray she does it ❤
My mother is the adult child of an Alcoholic father. My brother and I, our lives have been so traumatized by her and she isn't even the Alcoholic. The psychological scars that she has been branded with is like a tsunami through this family. Her younger sister became an alcoholic and died of cancer at 42. I sometimes think she is the only one who escaped. The rest of us are left to always pick the pieces.
Lisa, your story is so close to mine. I tried for years to get sober. I broke my family, my children were traumatized by my hospitalizations and near death experiences. They watched me slowly killings myself. But I kept trying and finally, after treating my alcoholism and depression together, going to therapy and finding a support group, I was able to get sober. I work supporting others now and am reminded everyday of where I come from and what damage I did to my family. But I have a beautiful life now, close relationships with all three of my adult children and grandchildren. I am forever grateful for all of the chances I was given. I wish I could talk with you. Second best thing I did was go to trauma therapy and learn to let go of my shame and guilt And have faith that I could get better and that I was worthy of it. Please ask for help again, you are worthy of a better life. ❤
I had alcoholic parents but they weren’t mean. They’d have fun, play practical jokes, card parties, life was working hard and partying. Always had a nice home and food and even some wants (horses, dirt bike, piano lessons, braces, a car). I was loved dearly. That’s why I have a harder time accepting that they were alcoholics but my older siblings have no problem! They had it harder. Everything did revolve around drinking. I spent a lot of time as a kid sitting in smokey bars playing pool. Of us five kids, one is an alcoholic. I also have two nephews who are drinkers. Thankfully I knew I’d be prone to the addiction so stay away from it.
I was thinking about that. Her adult children are extremely likely to carry the "alcoholic" gene. She said many people in her family were hard core alcoholics. There's no way that at least one if not all three of them are at risk. It's incredulous to think they believe they are separate/different than her ...even if they don't/haven't become alcoholics.
@@JesgateOnDown Yes, both my grandfathers were alcoholics. Also, my two alcoholic nephews were not raised by alcoholics (just had grandparents who were). It’s in their genetics, I do believe that. My kids are teens and I remind them about this risk. I feel like when you’re not raised in an alcoholic environment, the disease can creep up before you even realize it.
I had an alcoholic family . They had fun when they were drinking. I never saw violence . It was the norm to drink on the weekends, party, dance etc . But during the week they didn’t drink .
@@diannarodriguez9834 I can’t say there was no drinking during the week but it was definitely toned way down for my mom and my dad was hit and miss. He always had at least two jobs (mornings and then 2nd shift) and could somehow get by on very little sleep so would party during the week if he found some willing participants. 🍺 Yes, we didn’t know any different until I was an older teen comparing them to some of my friends’ families.
The trauma’s that she sustained are heart wrenching and of course would cause deep depression. I will pray for you Lisa. I wish you better days and I see your beautiful heart, blessings❣️
My mother broke her sobriety a year ago. The first time she was drinking, was when I was 5 years old. I am now 30 and it's been difficult to continuously forgive her. I've had nightmares about it for months, even when I try not to think about her. Recently, I've decided that I no longer want her to be in my life. Her being my mother, does not justice her desire to choose alcohol over her children. Watching this video, reminds me of my mother. I do not blame her son for not speaking to her. We can watch this and feel bad for her, but being on the other side of alcoholism is just as hard. I do not feel bad for this woman. We all have options to seek help. WE can all make choices and better ourselves. Alcoholism is greedy- it does nothing but take.
Lisa's been hit hard by her eldest's refusal to communicate with her because of her alcoholism, but we're not told how it has affected her son to not want to contact her. "Alcohol's a depressant" but that's in the sense of 'numbing', not in the sense of making you depressed.
My grandmother and my mom were alcoholic/addicts my whole life. I was taught that you never give up on family, and i never gave up on them. I followed suit and became an alcoholic/addict when i was 16. Im 34 now. Relapsed when I had my daughter, lost her to cps twice in 2020. My love for her saved my life and i fought for over a year to prove that i was stable, sober and healthy enough to be a parent. I now have full custody of her and have been sober for almost 3 years. If i could go back in time i would realize that toxic behavior doesnt need to be tolerated even if its coming from your own family. All my siblings strugggle with addiction as well. It makes for a very chaotic life. I see my mom in this woman. She always loved us the best thst she cohmd but she loved liquor equally. This one really hits home. I wish you nothing but the best, Lisa. Hearing you talk about your kids warms my heart. I can feel how much you care for your babies. Use that drive and love to make the changes you need to make. Please be safe and take care of yourself. We are rooting for you!!!
AA is still here!! We can help you. I’ve seen people even get some type of housing through other sober members!! Please get help! Hope is still a thing ❤
My mom was a Alcoholic heavy smoker which caused her death from SMALL CELL LUNG CANCER and was also a PATHALOGICAL LIAR!! And i am an Only child..All of my family have passed away and my mom also slept around on my dad they divorced when i was 10 years old I am very fortunate i did not take after my mom but i made peace with her before she passed away in 2004..I LOVEED my mom because she was my MOM but i HATED HER ALCOHOLISM! and she NEVER admitted she had a problem..And i just could not be around that.i was the BEST DAUGHTER i could be under the circumstances..When mom was sober she was A lovely woman but when she was DRUNK which was 24/7 365 She would Lie about me AND my dad and controlling so i stayed away..i didnt want too but i could NOT be around her and her ALCOHOLIC FRIENDS!! but i did the very best i could..
Oh Lisa I hope you can get better and be back with your children here in MN!! It's possible and us SWU strangers from the internet are rooting for you! One day at a time.
My oldest speak to me, either. It is astoundingly painful. Dear Lady, you need not apologize for crying. You have every right to cry. I am praying for you and those who love you. I wish I could do more.
Her son going no contact doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his mom, it means he is doing what’s right for him to live a healthy life -cutting out a toxic family member isn’t easy, and I hope her kids are doing well. She said she was the best mom, but no contact says otherwise and she seems to take no ownership in that. I do wish her the best and hope she can get better though!
Her situation is so heartbreaking and tough... I can absolutely understand how difficult everything is for her. However, it's not surprising that years and years of being sober and relapsing back and forth can drive people away. I really hope she can become sober again. It's not too late
NEVER too late. Sobriety and actively working on your addiction issues is the only path to recovery. Recovery is a miracle and not everyone can get it. My empathy is for both the addict and those who love them.
Thank you Lisa! Your story was so touching! I come from a family of addicts and your story truly made me see my family in a different light! Stay strong!! You can do this!!!
I am just watching this. I stopped drinking at age 70, over three years ago. For me, Annie Grace's The Alcohol Experiment (live) is what helped me. Don't let alcohol control you. And, maybe foremost, don't let that jerk of a male control you from the past. I wish you the best. You can do it.
This is interesting for me. My mom is around the same age as her and also an alcoholic. Her name is also Lisa. She's not homeless and lives comfortably in another part of the country because she wanted to live the way she wants to live. Our relationship is definitely strained, as well as all her relationships. I love my mom to death but being around her just causes so much stress that I can't do it. It sucks because especially since my dad just died, I wish I could be close with my mom. Being an only child I was so close with my parents growing up but unfortunately my mom doesn't have the same level of accountability as this woman, she thinks she's the victim and is in denial about any issues she has with drinking. I already see drinking starting to effect her mind and she will probably get early onset dementia from it. I'm also an alcoholic but I haven't drank in almost 4.5 years, so I can identify with Lisa and her kids. It's not a fun situation for anyone and addiction is a hell of a disorder.
2.5 yrs so er thank you for shining a light on these subjects as it helped me find recovery again, I've only drank 7 yrs of my life im 42 now, it has taken so much in those short 1-3 yr runs sober 17-20, 22-37, 39-present at 42, and it's destroyed my health due to a fall off a balcony,and then due to that got addicted to opiates and that almost killed me, then almost lost my business,wife and kids later so grateful for AA and God and recovery, cheers
My mother was a Nurse and carpool mom when I was little. We lived in a nice neighborhood. She was great, a pretty ideal mom up until I was about 6 or 7. Then she started drinking heavily. She put us in life threatening danger more times than I can count driving blackout drunk. I saw her get in physical fights with cops carrying her away in handcuffs more times than I can count. She totaled cars, broke all our dishes and picture frames, threatened to slit her wrists in front of me when I was 9. The only reason she wasn't homeless was she managed to marry 5 different times to different men who enabled her addiction and kept a roof over her head. I stopped talking to her when I was 15 and haven't talked to her in over 20 years. She died pennyless and alone in some government funded old folks home last week. She never took any accountability for her actions or apologized for ruining our childhood. I've managed to build a happy life for myself despite it all and in no way regret cutting her out of my life
Being the child of two alcoholics this hits home. My mom passed away from other medical conditions before she could get sober and my dad is 73 and has been sober for the last almost 3 years. I empathize with her and her kids, it's tough as hell growing up with alcoholics as parents and having to "take it with a grain of salt". Everyone deals with it in their own way. Me I know I have an addictive personality.. food and gambling were my vices. I just am self aware and make conscious choices every day and try to stay away from dr*gs and alcohol.
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22 day’s alcohol free today and i’m feeling human again. I pray for everyone who struggles with addiction. ❤ stay strong lisa .
How many days now?? :)
@@erinmcquay3955 27 😌 I’m a little irritable but glad im sober.
Congrats stick with it you got it no prob 💪 I was a really bad addict for over 10 years last person anyone thought could get clean I just celebrated 2 years clean and I lost 100 lbs
@@midwestoutlaw3194 Than you so much for giving me your words of encouragement. It gives me so much hope and faith that I can live a substance free life. 4th of July came and left...those holidays are very difficult for me to navigate. I was sober :) and guilt free. Have a great day ! 😃
Day 2 for me
Biggest lesson…alcohol takes; it does not give. It is not an answer! Peace, love and healing to all who are suffering!
Nicely said! Thank you.
It does give
I really don't think anyone is confused about how alcohol is an answer ..
@@dawnatilla2469tell that to an alcoholic
@@dawnatilla2469 what?
When she described her all time favorite memory, with her children all laying on her in bed and falling asleep on her... I teared up. This woman is in so much pain. I believe her when she says she was an amazing mother. I truly hope she can find her way back to her children.
Yeah
@littlebigharvest - Coming from a broken home, then being handed another one by that news, all while having 3 children must have been a huge devastating trauma blow.
I believe her too. My Daughter was an amazing Mother too, a Mother that everyone wanted to be like until alcohol took over her entire life, she lost everything including her life. She passed away last August and it broke my whole families heart, she was only 39 and killed herself with alcohol in less than 2 years. My heart aches for this Woman, nobody chooses to be addicted and miserable.
@@oldonetwoable I'm sorry for the loss of your daughter
@@oldonetwoableso sorry to hear that. It must of been heartbreaking for you 😢
As the child of an alcoholic father: do NOT judge her children for cutting her off. The emotional turmoil that addicts leave in their path is taxing and traumatic, not to mention repetitive. I pray that this woman finds peace within herself, but we should also wish the same for her children. Sometimes to obtain that peace, it means going no contact.
I don’t care how traumatic it was for any of them but I would let my mother be homeless on the streets I would help her get sober and love her and make sure she had a home to live in if u listen to her story she didn’t start drinking until her husband was having and affair and it’s hereditary in her family
I would let my mother be homeless in the streets never never
Not let my mother be homeless
@@Liam-he4giyou say that but you don’t know that until it happens to you.
No contact is a protective device to save their own mental health,
You are wrong
Only one of her children cut her off-one of her sons. I would have to get her a place-or she could live w me but w the alcohol it might prove impossible. What a horrible situation. I wish them all the best. ❤
What a beautiful woman, bless her heart. Please don't fade from this world, Lisa...we need honest, loving people like you more than ever.
I've been sober from alcohol for 1 year 6 months and 24 days. My heart sincerely goes out to anyone struggling with this disease.
@@JamesG1126you’ve got no idea what you’re talking about. Sit down
@@JamesG1126O my, you don't understand anything about addiction.
@@JamesG1126ignorance.
@@thematriarchy2075 say it louder for the functioning alcoholics in the back!
@@JamesG1126Shut up. Really, just shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about, and what you’re saying isn’t helpful. If what you’re saying were true, alcoholism wouldn’t exist. And there are alcoholics literally in all walks of life. From the bum on the street, to the super rich executives to the everyday worker bees.
I had sobriety from alcohol for 17 years, then I went back out for 10. I'm now 1yr and 8months sober again, One Day at a Time. Get to AA honey, every day. You can save what's left of your life. The fellowship will help you. I pray at every meeting for those still suffering, inside and outside the program. We love you and we can help you.
Hello Betsy, how are you doing today, hope you’re fine and safe from the COVID-19 virus??
You’re the reason many people can’t go to AA, it’s not supposed to be religious
@@cl9949 Sorry. If you knew anything about AA, you would know that statement is NOT true. Get to a few dozen meetings and you will see. Good luck.
@@cl9949 Not a religious program. You obviously haven't attended enough meetings.
I was a chronic relapser for years, I have 19 years and 8 months, I can never forget what I am because this disease wants me dead, so glad you shared because we can never forget what we are❤
Unless you have lived with an alcoholic or drug addict in your life, it's hard to explain how you can get to the point you cut off a loved one like this. It gets so old and so exhausting hoping a loved one gets sober only to see them fail again and again and again. My mom was mentally ill, an alcoholic and a crack addict. I saw all of this destroy her and end up killing her at 51. Now I am dealing with my only sister who has a meth problem. I am so damn tired of dealing with addicts in my life. They can suck every bit of happiness out of you.
You don’t have to be on drugs to have a drug problem. Not everyone understands that
@@kimberlybailey6696 Absolutely agree with ya there. Didn't mean it so sound like that's what I was saying.
My heart goes out to your mom. So many people treat mental illness by self medicating with alcohol and drugs. A lot of people out there, never seek therapy or psychiatrists, they say “I’m not crazy, I just do this to unwind”. It’s treating a broken leg with a band aid.
@@Boobalopbop it made her a demon honestly. I'll talk about it in a future Underbelly interview.
Many times they have a terrible attitude already without the drugs
This one hits home. I love how he lets everyone talk without interrupting them.
She has so much potential. your husband thrived, your children thrived because you’re a great mother and a great wife. now it’s time to be that great mother to yourself and let yourself heal. Once you’ve accomplished that, I believe the world and your relationships will open up to you again. They’re not far away. You just have to choose you instead of your addiction and things will blossom. Easier said than done but there’s so much hope here. ❤
Completely agree
I think you are wrong about that
We don’t know if these stories are true, meaning she could be lying about being a good mom. Most drunks are not good moms
@@cl9949 I agree. There is a lot of shame.
What a beautiful comment. I wish I could hug you! ❤
My heart hurts for this woman. I hope we see an update on Lisa soon. This interview really hit me. I pray Lisa can dig deep into her strength and quit drinking. Alcohol truly is the devil. Sending her the warmest hugs and prayers! 🙏🏽💜
I hope her children see this and are able to find it in their hearts to have forgiveness and grace for their mother ❤
Yes because just like they had no control over the trauma of their childhoods, neither did she 🥺
💯
I value your kindness and forgiveness.
I hope that her children maintain their boundaries and that she finds the help she needs.
I mean it’s easy for you to say if you aren’t a child of an alcoholic. Change is the best way to show you’re sorry. I didn’t forgive my parents til they were at least 2+ years sober and showed they changed.
I’ve been going thru alcoholism for the last ten years, I’m 34 now. I’ve managed to still enjoy parts of my life and get through these years ‘functioning’, but boy have I had some disgraceful decisions and choices along the way.
These have tarnished my young life. They’ve rattled my parents. It changes you into another person, but the buck stops with the drinker I’m afraid to say.
I feel for this woman, it’s such a dangerous drug.
I am glad your recovering. Keep at it one day at a time
That was the age I stopped drinking, I went and seek therapy, and in my opinion you can get the same quality of therapy by conversing with old people than at an office of someone that has a piece of paper that says "he's a therapist" , i'd very much recommended to go to volunteer at these facilities for elderly folks and tell them straight up the purpose of your visit, for conversation companion, believe me there's lot of folks out there that'll appreciate that very much...
@@karlwalter2242 thank you I’ll keep it in mind 👍
I completely agree. It killed my best friend I’m also a alcoholic and I live alone I want to stop but I can’t alone. I’m too prideful to ask for help , my liver is starting to fail and I still drink I don’t get it I’ve been able to let go of all other drugs except this one.
@@karlwalter2242A Sweet inspiration for all to consider ❤
I would give you my knowledge of how to survive 💯 😌
Remember all advice from older people depend on the life of a person who lived thinking in their own reflection
I don't want to come across as harsh, but just truthful. As the adult child of an alcoholic, your oldest son doesn't have contact with you for many reasons. Frustration being the least of them. Please find it within yourself to give your children all that they want from you: A sober Mother.
My daughter is a alcoholic. There i said it. I am so numb after putting her out recently. I truly love her but cant let her destroy my grandsons life with her drinking. She is in rehab right now, and we just had a conversation yesterday. She said she is just now understanding the pain and chaos she is putting us through . But I can say, there is peace in my home now. The hardest thing as a mother is knowing you cant fix everything and to let your kids own up to there issues. From a long line of Alcoholics in my family, I truely hate the disease. 😢
@@jacobus57 🙏🏿🤎
🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿 ALCOHOL is definitely a destroying demon😈 for my children. I PRAY FOR THEIR COMPLETE RECOVERY💯🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
@@thiabrabson2533🤎💯🙏🏿
I am in the process my daughter is a alcoholic.. but she is a thousand miles away from me. I sure miss the other side of her I told her not long ago.. alcohol
steals precious time from you & your loved ones.. I miss her so bad 😢
@debbieb.2096 I will pray for your daughters recovery 🙏🏿 hoping she finds her way and beats this horrible disease . I'm sure like my daughter, when she is sober she is the most amazing person ❤️
Lisa is like all of the rest of us - only one or two decisions away from major life change - I hope she finds the courage to get healthy and can reconnect with her kids. She is likable and real.
I can have empathy for her trauma, but let’s normalize not using “I gave birth to you” as a reason your child should continue a relationship with you.
I wish this woman the strength to look inward and forgive herself, and respect that having an alcoholic parent is traumatic. Wishing Lisa recovery and strength.
And that her child is a multimillionaire hmm my parents have known to talk great fabricated nonense even without alcohol
@@Liitebulbshe was referring to her ex husband being a millionaire
I completely agree with you
@@Liitebulbshe said her ex husband a millionaire
Came here to say the exact same thing.
As she said in the video she was drinking when the kids were living at home. We don’t know how her drinking affected them. It’s best to respect their decision to not speak to her because we really don’t know the whole story. I know a lot of people that say their children don’t talk to them when they were a wonderful mom or dad when it’s not even close to the truth.
@@baublesanddollsTotally agree. But wealthy kids leave your mom live at the streets?
@@dimitrisjim1216 if their mom makes them feel like dying I could see that being a reason as to not speaking to her
So when you become a parent you can no longer drink?
@@jazminmendoza8539 where did she say she just drank casually? She literally said she was an alcoholic which could damage her relationship with her children. Personally I’ll never drink in front of my children but I was raised with my mom and dad both being alcoholics and being abusive either emotionally or physically.
@@jazminmendoza8539 What exactly you dont understand?
My mother was an alcoholic, and she put us through hell. She never got better, and I gave her chance after chance, after chance for years and years and years. Finally about the last 15 years of her life, I had nothing to do with her and when she was in the hospital dying, I went in there and told her while she was hooked up to machines. Because of her own doing, drinking. I told her you were an awful, horrible mother. But, I forgive you. I walked out and I didn’t go to the funeral. A drunk is one of the most difficult people to be around. I am literally 49 years old and this woman looks like she’s 25 years older than me! To this day. I don’t drink because I cannot stand what it does to people and I know this might sound harsh, I’ve just been hurt too badly because of it.
Sometimes being cold and calloused twords your alcoholic is the one thing that saves you from being an alcoholic. I too am an adult child of an alcoholic married to a functioning alcoholic. So I understand. ❤
Yes i agree whole heartedly. My mother was a severe alcoholic and i threatened to have nothing to do with her and she got clean. Its been 3 yrs so far but ur always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I dont touch the stuff. The smell of it turns my stomach. U did the right thing to protect ur sanity and ur peace. Sorry for ur loss
I agree, my mum was a nasty, hurtful horrible drunk. It killed her and I don't miss her.
You are a true fucking asshole! Who the fuck goes to their parents death bed and says that! You think you did something right but you did the opposite. You will live with this the rest of your asshole life
Sometimes you just gotta let that shit go, if you keep having a victim mentality you'll never be free from your past. But yeah alcohol has way too much value in our society and it's too easy to get and somewhat accepted even when people are getting terribly drunk to the point of danger or crashing cars fighting, and people laugh about it like it's a funny thing to witness. I see people literally face plant downtown, on the sidewalk, because they got way over served at the bar. Like why is that allowed to happen! I see people pulling guns when they're so drunk, starting fights, going to jail, breaking o, everything. And the day after when you wake up from getting that drunk is literally the worst feeling in the world for me personally.
How blessed I feel that I was able to get sober 39 years ago and stay sober. It is my greatest peace that my daughter never had to deal with me as a drunk. God willing I will remain sober the rest of my days.
My parents didn't drink but my late husband of 35 years was a functional alcoholic. It is hereditary as his dad was also. It is a disease that kills you slowly. My husband died in my arms for liver cancer. Our 33 year old son is recovering from alcoholism now. AA is a fantastic organization. Take care Lisa and hope you get help. It's never to late til it's to late. Unconditional love to all who are fighting to stay sober✨️🙏✨️
@@baublesanddolls I disagree there's something wrong if you need to be high all the time ask how know
and there are situations were one's forced to take substances they don't want to I was literally held down and forced to take amp when I was I little kid I started to lash out and fight random people just for fun and it made me think about how life is pointless and so on I was like six years old..
No such thing as a disease of alcoholism. It’s not hereditary. So much nonsense on this issue and people remain sick.
50 yrs. old....good gracious. I thought she was 70+. I hope she gets her life together because the way she's going her life doesn't look long.
She thinks she was an amazing mom but from her own admission she started drinking after she and her husband ended their youngest was still a baby and her other two kids were very young. She probably doesn’t remember or acknowledge the pain she put them through as an alcoholic mother. There’s a reason her children put distance between themselves and her and I’m sure they have tried to help her in the past. I come from a family with several people who have alcohol and or drug addiction. It’s painful to try to help someone you love when they can’t accept help over and over and again and at some point you need to let them go for your own mental and physical health.
One of my nieces walked away from her alcoholic parents at 18. Her sister hung in, enabling, and constantly tried to save them until their deaths. Now years later the enabling niece is a mess mentally and her sister is leading a good life. I think the sister who walked away made the best decision.
Yeah exactly. All people like that do is drag you down to their level. This lady was giving me manipulator vibes the entire time. I get the feeling shes hiding a lot in this interview.
@@swelldritch2774yeah I kind of got that too.
@@swelldritch2774Yes. The hard reality is that in order to get better, she’ll have to take 100% responsibility for her current situation. It’s a tough pill to swallow but it will lead to a better place
As painful as it is…😢
All addict manipulate, is part of the disease
i've been drinking more than i should lately, because i've had to quit weed. I'm gonna stop for a little bit, I'm grateful I saw this. I hope she gets help.
I’d like to add that alcoholism is most likely the cause of anxiety and depression. I was never more depressed than the time which I was drinking. It made everything 10x worse. Never had that anxiety and depression again after I quit and changed my life
my mom is a drunk. she moved across the globe with her new drunk husband about 15 years ago and my life is so much better now.
basically she is just a disembodied voice i talk to a couple times a year and i couldnt be happier.
its too much to deal with.
It is the biggest struggle that I have ever endured. Have made bad decision after bad decision. Lost the absolute love of my life, housing, job etc. Somehow have managed to keep my two vehicles, But that is literally all that I have. I have thrown my life away so many times because of alcohol. So, finally, about 2 weeks ago, I tossed a few necessities into my truck and entered a sober living facility with intensive out patient treatment and I attend as many meetings as I can. Some people can have alcohol in their lives and function normally and some absolutely cannot have it whatsoever. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It seems as if the grief and shame will never go away; nor will the persistent question that I ask myself every single day: Why did I do it over and over, knowing what the eventual outcome would be? It is far more than addiction. At 42 years old, I feel as if I am only just beginning to live a life. Alcohol and my choices have destroyed everything that I thought I stood for. Hang in there. Get help if you want to live.🧡
I wish you way more than luck. Blessings, my friend!
I am grateful to hear you are getting help. With continued support and therapy the guilt and shame will get better. It was a viscous cycle for me, I couldn’t let go of the shame, I hated myself. So I would end up drinking again. Only when I learned to talk about it and learn to let it go a little at a time was I able to stay sober. Blessing to you! Keep fighting! I believe in you. You are worthy.
I've noticed with most these interviews people stay strong and don't cry no matter the trauma, until they talk about there children. I can relate❤
I’ve been having some reoccurring troubles with some very close family members. I have been to the point of pushing them out. Hearing this gives me the strength to show more compassion and not to count them out. Thank you for saying that. I needed to hear it. ✌🏻🖤🐺
Actually Alanon teaches the best thing you can do is push them out. You have to do what’s healthy for you. Forgiving too much doesn’t help them, it enables. There is no reason for them to change when drinking isn’t making them loose things.
@@WrappedInFoil
if someone is honest, even if they have relapsed, if they can be honest about, that is something that matters & u can work with them, but if they lie, then i don't know how to work with that.
That's awesome
I understand you have been through a lot, to say the least. But you don't know all the trauma your mom went through. We tend to shelter our children. I guarantee she needs your love. I believe you are doing the right thing by her and You!
Do not go down the tubes with them. A person can only take so much before you will end up sick from the chaos. Compassion is good, enabling is not and they can feel very similar.
I hope she gets what she needs to get sober. She is a beautiful soul. ❤
Hello Indica, how are you doing today, hope you’re fine and safe from the COVID-19 virus??
Not that this is the most-important thing, but imagine how pretty Lisa could be.
She has to work on it one day at a time she has to want to be sober couseling aa meetings sponsers
Thank you for sharing your story Lisa. I can relate so much. I am also 50 and have 2 boys and a girl as well. Their father also had an affair that resulted in another woman getting pregnant. My drinking started after they left home. I fell into a terrible depression. I got sober after about 10 years of daily heavy drinking and relapsed but have been sober again for about 3 months. It is still tough and my mind still wants to just give up a lot but I literally take it one day at a time. Sometimes one minute at a time and just remind myself how bad I had become. No matter how down I am I never want to go backwards. You can do this! You have so much to offer. I understand the struggle but hang in there. We are our worst judge and jury but redemption is real. Sending you much love!
As a person in recovery, I suggest you lean in. There is pain in recovery, but there are joys too. A person has to be willing to process the pain sober. That’s when you learn to live without turning to your old, destructive crutch, your substance of choice.
No matter what, you DON’T use, because it only leads to the same old defeating decisions.
No matter what.
My mom suffered from alcoholism most of her life. I watched her die 2 years ago. I imagine this women as my mom answering similar questions. I regret being so harsh with her
Alcoholism hurts the non-alcoholics in the family too.
It is hard to be loving and allow them access to your lives. They are destructive and they can take you down too.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes your own self-preservation requires you to disconnect from the addicts in your life.
I was married to an alcoholic and he destroyed our family and nearly killed me. I understand how her kids feel. It’s exhausting and it’s a cycle of continuous betrayal, hurt and disappointment. I finally divorced him and been free and happy for the past 7 years. We have remained amicable for the sake of our child.
Couldn’t agree more!!
30 plus years sober and loving every minute of if. I feel for her and hope she can beat it.
If you have to say you were a great mom that's probably not the truth. If one of your children doesn't talk to you that's a big sign that things have been wrong. Everyone makes mistakes and you have to admit that and accept it, part of recovering from alcoholism is doing that. She's not there yet.
As a child of an alcohlic mother- i know the pain runs deep. While they are in the drunken stupor sleeping it off, the kids are left wondering whats wrong with mom constantly. Its good that you are giving her a voice and ability to talk about it. The kids should have a voice too
These kids didn't have an alcoholic mother. Their childhood was fine. These kids made an alcoholic mother as adults
They can talk to the walls in their nice houses about their horrible horrible mother who raised them as best as she could.Child.
She's human. Just like us all. Stress and anxiety messes you up. I totally understand her
anxiety is one of the strongest forces in our lives
Depression and anxiety can go hand in hand. Lisa, you deserve help AND to be happy. You are so worth it. I'm rooting for you and now so many others are behind you all the way. I understand not having a support system. Not having much family. It's so hurtful. No one is invincible and you weren't given a great hand--but you can totally turn that around. Sending love to you.❤️❤️❤️
Lisa has a big heart and I can tell how much she loves her children. She is very intelligent. I hope she kind find a new perspective on the life she still has to live. I am rooting for her to get sober.
I recognize this poor lady. 21 years ago I was her. God stepped in and delivered me in an instant from 25 years of alcoholism and 19 years within that of cocaine addiction. I will help her if I can. Plz tell me how.
Congratulations on your sobriety ❤
I broke down with her when she started talking about her children. I grew up with alcoholic abusive parents and it was pure hell yet we have a civil relationship today. Addiction, alcoholism and mental disorders run rampant in my and my partners families and we work so hard to break the trauma cycle and consciously parent our son but I ruminate on his future. I feel like my anxiety/depression & bpd issues will negatively impact him. Like Lisa said "mom will do great for a year, mom will fuck up for a year." My mom had the same pattern. I hope you can find peace with your children and stay strong through your struggles. I can't thank you enough for your vulnerability and thank you to Mark for what you do.
Lisa knows she is not alone.
She knows she is not defined by her addiction, but by her choices.
She knows she is not perfect, but she is worthy.
She knows she is not done, but she is enough.
f those children.
Yuck. Is that a bummer sticker
What else does Lisa know?
How does she know?
This is a bot or something
Idiotic bumper sticker haha
Awwww, bless you Lisa, you are such a beautiful person. Please direct some of your love towards yourself. Get better for your kids. You all deserve that .Never give up. I don't judge you. Love from NZ xxx
My heart goes out to you Lisa. I'm a recovering alcoholic from a family of alcoholics and married unhealthy men throughout those times. I'm in AA and it helped me crawl out of my hole. I hope you find your way to recovery, we fall off and get back up. You can do it too❤. Go slow though detox, find a meeting, follow your dads path, you have his amazing gene, as do your kids, right?❤
Right on. Same path for me. You can do this Lisa.
Without the things I learned in AA from my fellow alcoholics, I could not stay sober.
I love the fact that WE stay sober by helping each other. When I isolate from my peers who understand the compulsion to use, I return to my old solution, substance abuse.
Recovery support keeps us from believing the lie that (in my case, alcohol) using again will relieve the pain or discomfort. That temporary fix only makes the hole I’ve dug deeper. ❤
673 days sober today.
proud of you.
👍🏻😁💖🍀
So happy you stopped!
✊♥️✝️🙏
Keep working it! ❤
My mom was an alcoholic most of my life. It hurt to see the way she took her pain out on herself that way. She raised my brother and I with unconditional love, and for the most part was an amazing mom, but some of the scars from her drinking addiction still sting decades later. She came from a family that avoided their problems, hid their traumas and used anything to numb the pain rather than confront it. Thankfully she has been 2 years sober now, something I never thought I'd see as long as I lived. I am proud of her but sad too, I wished it could have been different years ago. I avoid alcohol like the god damn plague, it's a fucking demon.
This is my life
It is a demon it took my sister 6 weeks ago leaving us all beside ourselves with greave.
Lisa please get help. You're only 50 years old but this lifestyle is rapidly aging you. Stop obsessing on a failed marriage, stop obsessing on your grown children, just do you, one step at a time. 💖💖🙏🙏
Lisa seems like a sweet woman where alcohol ran through her family. I hope she finds the strength to get free of it and reconnect with her children and normality xx
Feel your compassion for your subjects Mark. The work you do is important.
I really love this one. She is a genuinely beautiful lady that was hurt terribly and is still picking up the pieces ❤
Update please. Don’t lose track of this lady.
My auntie passed away a decade or so from alcoholism. She weighed less than 70# and was 5 foot 7. She had sticks for arms and legs and a big belly, I lost it after I saw her before she passed away. It was so incredibly sad.
Lisa reminds me of her. Face, thinness and all of it. I hope she gets help.
MARK IS SO GENUINE, prayers for lisa and all swu. Abuse, cheating etc should be criminal, incur pay for damage done
Hello Pretty, how are you doing today, hope you’re fine and safe from the COVID-19 virus??
mark is a business man exploiting society's most vulnerable and damaged. He is a fucking parasite
Bless your sweet soul Lisa.. You are not alone, you will get through this. Please don't give up on yourself and like your mother, have compassion for yourself.. Stay strong warrior woman 💪
Hello Anine, how are you doing today, hope you’re fine and safe from the COVID-19 virus??
Bless you...
Alcohol is a destructive monster…I grew up in an alcoholic home, I was a hard heavy drinker from my teens till I got alcoholic hepatitis in 2001. 22 years later I still gotta push the whisky out of my head.
“Whisky you’re the 👿 “
Lisa I am praying for you 🙏. You shall escape this. God bless you.
What is "alcoholic hepatitis". I have never known there to be such a thing. 😵🤔🤔
Growing up with an alcoholic parent is something that can sentence your life in a way one would never imagine, unless they've gone through it. I just turned 30 and I've been trying to "fix" things at home for most of my life...but you can't help anybody by force. And I've just realized, in the past 2-3 years, that I've suffered irreversible damage from it, damage that has made me choose a path of loneliness, of fear and terror at the tought of even the possibility of ever having to share my life with an alcoholic....It's heartbreaking and so difficult to explain it to people who've never lived through it. I'm not blaming the situation at home, as we should make our own decisions and choices, but I'm just admitting to the harsh reality of the impact it's had on me....They ask "Why don't you get married and have kids?"....If only they knew...
You have described what happened to me.
@@LotusRed-x9u I am sorry you went through this as well....and I am sure many more did 🥹
I realize that Lisa did this interview with the hope that her children will see it. She was appealing to them for forgiveness. Obviously, she loves them dearly But I am sure they have valid reasons for why they aren't in close contact. I am sure they begged her to stop drinking many times probably saying "Do it for us." But an alcoholic can't "do it for someone else" no matter how much they love them...they have to want it for themselves. When that confrontation happens and the drinker doesn't quit, the kids feel like she doesn't care enough about them to quit and then the drinker feels even more shame than they already felt! And shame is a huge black hole. I feel a lot of compassion for Lisa. The hole is deep and the sides slippery...she isn't going to get out by herself, certainly not in the shape she is in now.
For an alcoholic her soul is beautiful. At my worst I didn't have an ounce of the depth, or self awareness she has
I truly hope her children see this and try to help and mend their relationships with her. My heart breaks for anyone struggling with addiction.
Having a relationship of any kind breaks you down little by little until there is nothing left. Yes they deserve love and compassion, but it is not right to ask someone to sacrifice themselves for someone who may not be able to be saved. If you do not deal with your own pain, it hurts your loved ones.
I hope her kids don’t see this
If they do I hope they read all the messages telling them to be careful and maintain their very good boundaries.
I LOVE being sober. It’s the best thing I ever did. I’m going on over 2 years and I’ll never go back! Life is so much better! I’m back. Finally. ❤️
Woohoo!!!
One of my best friends in my life was a heavy drinker for decades .
He hung himself last December - he was only 60.
I am still so heartbroken and I will miss him forever .
The alcohol just took everything wonderful from him.
The grief is so intense.
I wanted to tell him how much he meant to me .
I didn’t get the chance.
Us children of alcoholic parents know how real the struggle is to separate the person from the addiction. I don't consider alcoholism a disease, but certainly an addiction. But it's so hard, because you love the person but hate hate hate then drunk version of them. You experience a whole gamut of negative emotions, embarrassment, shame, hatred, pity, anger,fear. It becomes so hard to see the person after a while. But it is important to go to Al-Anon family support and talk about these negative feelings. I hope she gets off the street and gets into a detox programme.
You know you can jist not buy alcohol
@@Turnpost2552 l threw bottles of liquor away my whole life, watered it down, fought with my family member, got upset, raged, tried support groups, but honestly, it doesn't stop an alcoholic from buying more. You have to make your peace with an alcoholic parent.
@@baublesanddolls agreed, it helps to vent sometimes though with others who get it
It’s been proven to be a disease…it’s also very hereditary
Some random man comes into her room every night for a year to beat the crap out of her ? Cmon now I call BULL !
You never know what someone is going through. Be nice. Lisa sending you a big hug. I hope Mark helps her get into detox and treatment. It's not too late.
I can relate to this story a lot. Being cheated on after a 7 year relationship was the catalyst for my alcoholic behavior, which led to depression and anxiety. I feel for this woman, because alcohol and depression/anxiety just become a vicious circle. Climbing out of that pit takes superhuman strength both physical and mental.
The interview with Lisa was so powerful for me. I have a sister that is an alcoholic. I pray that Lisa can get the help she so much deserves. Praying for Lisa!
She is a beautiful human.Lisa you've got this. Please darling get the help you need.
Thank you so much for your story, I myself have struggled with alcohol and it is so devastating. I hope you are able to maintain sobriety because it sounds like you are loved very deeply. ❤
What a sad story. Alcohol ruins so many lives. I wish her well and hope she can get her life back on track.
Her depression, sorrow and hole in her heart is real. Ive been there, sober since 2004,she has to believe that she deserves love herself from herself. I pray she gets it, this isn't a self-pity story, it's a story of utter hopelessness and if death doesn't frighten her (as it didn't me) then hopefully hope and doing the right thin will.Those AA meetings meant the world to me too but more importantly, the literature,I read and read and read until I began to understand that it is a disease of the mind. She.knows what to do, I.pray she does it ❤
2,748 days sober and living my best healthy life.
My mother is the adult child of an Alcoholic father. My brother and I, our lives have been so traumatized by her and she isn't even the Alcoholic. The psychological scars that she has been branded with is like a tsunami through this family. Her younger sister became an alcoholic and died of cancer at 42. I sometimes think she is the only one who escaped. The rest of us are left to always pick the pieces.
Lisa, your story is so close to mine. I tried for years to get sober. I broke my family, my children were traumatized by my hospitalizations and near death experiences. They watched me slowly killings myself. But I kept trying and finally, after treating my alcoholism and depression together, going to therapy and finding a support group, I was able to get sober. I work supporting others now and am reminded everyday of where I come from and what damage I did to my family. But I have a beautiful life now, close relationships with all three of my adult children and grandchildren. I am forever grateful for all of the chances I was given. I wish I could talk with you. Second best thing I did was go to trauma therapy and learn to let go of my shame and guilt And have faith that I could get better and that I was worthy of it. Please ask for help again, you are worthy of a better life. ❤
I had alcoholic parents but they weren’t mean. They’d have fun, play practical jokes, card parties, life was working hard and partying. Always had a nice home and food and even some wants (horses, dirt bike, piano lessons, braces, a car). I was loved dearly. That’s why I have a harder time accepting that they were alcoholics but my older siblings have no problem! They had it harder. Everything did revolve around drinking. I spent a lot of time as a kid sitting in smokey bars playing pool. Of us five kids, one is an alcoholic. I also have two nephews who are drinkers. Thankfully I knew I’d be prone to the addiction so stay away from it.
Idk you but I'm proud of you.
I was thinking about that. Her adult children are extremely likely to carry the "alcoholic" gene. She said many people in her family were hard core alcoholics. There's no way that at least one if not all three of them are at risk. It's incredulous to think they believe they are separate/different than her ...even if they don't/haven't become alcoholics.
@@JesgateOnDown Yes, both my grandfathers were alcoholics. Also, my two alcoholic nephews were not raised by alcoholics (just had grandparents who were). It’s in their genetics, I do believe that. My kids are teens and I remind them about this risk. I feel like when you’re not raised in an alcoholic environment, the disease can creep up before you even realize it.
I had an alcoholic family . They had fun when they were drinking. I never saw violence . It was the norm to drink on the weekends, party, dance etc . But during the week they didn’t drink .
@@diannarodriguez9834 I can’t say there was no drinking during the week but it was definitely toned way down for my mom and my dad was hit and miss. He always had at least two jobs (mornings and then 2nd shift) and could somehow get by on very little sleep so would party during the week if he found some willing participants. 🍺 Yes, we didn’t know any different until I was an older teen comparing them to some of my friends’ families.
The trauma’s that she sustained are heart wrenching and of course would cause deep depression.
I will pray for you Lisa. I wish you better days and I see your beautiful heart, blessings❣️
She's such a beautiful and broken soul. I hope she will be better soon and that will be an update of her.
What a beautiful lady with a beautiful soul. I hope she can regain her strength to break that chain of bondage that is controlling her.
She is so human and relatable. The damage that alcohol causes is terrible.
My mother broke her sobriety a year ago. The first time she was drinking, was when I was 5 years old. I am now 30 and it's been difficult to continuously forgive her. I've had nightmares about it for months, even when I try not to think about her. Recently, I've decided that I no longer want her to be in my life. Her being my mother, does not justice her desire to choose alcohol over her children. Watching this video, reminds me of my mother. I do not blame her son for not speaking to her.
We can watch this and feel bad for her, but being on the other side of alcoholism is just as hard. I do not feel bad for this woman. We all have options to seek help. WE can all make choices and better ourselves.
Alcoholism is greedy- it does nothing but take.
So much pain in Lisa. I really hope that she can find a way out, it is so hard, I know.
Lisa's been hit hard by her eldest's refusal to communicate with her because of her alcoholism, but we're not told how it has affected her son to not want to contact her. "Alcohol's a depressant" but that's in the sense of 'numbing', not in the sense of making you depressed.
My grandmother and my mom were alcoholic/addicts my whole life. I was taught that you never give up on family, and i never gave up on them. I followed suit and became an alcoholic/addict when i was 16. Im 34 now. Relapsed when I had my daughter, lost her to cps twice in 2020. My love for her saved my life and i fought for over a year to prove that i was stable, sober and healthy enough to be a parent. I now have full custody of her and have been sober for almost 3 years. If i could go back in time i would realize that toxic behavior doesnt need to be tolerated even if its coming from your own family. All my siblings strugggle with addiction as well. It makes for a very chaotic life. I see my mom in this woman. She always loved us the best thst she cohmd but she loved liquor equally. This one really hits home. I wish you nothing but the best, Lisa. Hearing you talk about your kids warms my heart. I can feel how much you care for your babies. Use that drive and love to make the changes you need to make. Please be safe and take care of yourself. We are rooting for you!!!
Very proud of you. No greater gift to your daughter. God bless,
AA is still here!! We can help you. I’ve seen people even get some type of housing through other sober members!! Please get help! Hope is still a thing ❤
My mom was a Alcoholic heavy smoker which caused her death from SMALL CELL LUNG CANCER and was also a PATHALOGICAL LIAR!! And i am an Only child..All of my family have passed away and my mom also slept around on my dad they divorced when i was 10 years old I am very fortunate i did not take after my mom but i made peace with her before she passed away in 2004..I LOVEED my mom because she was my MOM but i HATED HER ALCOHOLISM! and she NEVER admitted she had a problem..And i just could not be around that.i was the BEST DAUGHTER i could be under the circumstances..When mom was sober she was A lovely woman but when she was DRUNK which was 24/7 365 She would Lie about me AND my dad and controlling so i stayed away..i didnt want too but i could NOT be around her and her ALCOHOLIC FRIENDS!! but i did the very best i could..
Yes I cannot be around drunk people as they talk such sxxt and behave so badly. I understand how you feel … I really do ❤
Many parents are in massive denial ahout many things and all they think about is that their children as their property
Oh Lisa I hope you can get better and be back with your children here in MN!! It's possible and us SWU strangers from the internet are rooting for you! One day at a time.
My oldest speak to me, either. It is astoundingly painful.
Dear Lady, you need not apologize for crying. You have every right to cry. I am praying for you and those who love you. I wish I could do more.
Her son going no contact doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his mom, it means he is doing what’s right for him to live a healthy life -cutting out a toxic family member isn’t easy, and I hope her kids are doing well. She said she was the best mom, but no contact says otherwise and she seems to take no ownership in that. I do wish her the best and hope she can get better though!
Her situation is so heartbreaking and tough... I can absolutely understand how difficult everything is for her. However, it's not surprising that years and years of being sober and relapsing back and forth can drive people away. I really hope she can become sober again. It's not too late
Some random man comes into her room every night for a year to beat the crap out of her ? Cmon now I call BULL !
NEVER too late. Sobriety and actively working on your addiction issues is the only path to recovery.
Recovery is a miracle and not everyone can get it. My empathy is for both the addict and those who love them.
Thank you Lisa! Your story was so touching! I come from a family of addicts and your story truly made me see my family in a different light! Stay strong!! You can do this!!!
I am just watching this. I stopped drinking at age 70, over three years ago. For me, Annie Grace's The Alcohol Experiment (live) is what helped me. Don't let alcohol control you. And, maybe foremost, don't let that jerk of a male control you from the past. I wish you the best. You can do it.
This is interesting for me. My mom is around the same age as her and also an alcoholic. Her name is also Lisa. She's not homeless and lives comfortably in another part of the country because she wanted to live the way she wants to live. Our relationship is definitely strained, as well as all her relationships. I love my mom to death but being around her just causes so much stress that I can't do it. It sucks because especially since my dad just died, I wish I could be close with my mom. Being an only child I was so close with my parents growing up but unfortunately my mom doesn't have the same level of accountability as this woman, she thinks she's the victim and is in denial about any issues she has with drinking. I already see drinking starting to effect her mind and she will probably get early onset dementia from it. I'm also an alcoholic but I haven't drank in almost 4.5 years, so I can identify with Lisa and her kids. It's not a fun situation for anyone and addiction is a hell of a disorder.
I cried with you, Lisa. You're wonderful. Stay strong babes xo🕯️💙✌️
2.5 yrs so er thank you for shining a light on these subjects as it helped me find recovery again, I've only drank 7 yrs of my life im 42 now, it has taken so much in those short 1-3 yr runs sober 17-20, 22-37, 39-present at 42, and it's destroyed my health due to a fall off a balcony,and then due to that got addicted to opiates and that almost killed me, then almost lost my business,wife and kids later so grateful for AA and God and recovery, cheers
She is one of the most beautiful people you have ever interviewed! She has the heart of a mother and such a gentle soul!
My mother was a Nurse and carpool mom when I was little. We lived in a nice neighborhood. She was great, a pretty ideal mom up until I was about 6 or 7. Then she started drinking heavily. She put us in life threatening danger more times than I can count driving blackout drunk. I saw her get in physical fights with cops carrying her away in handcuffs more times than I can count. She totaled cars, broke all our dishes and picture frames, threatened to slit her wrists in front of me when I was 9. The only reason she wasn't homeless was she managed to marry 5 different times to different men who enabled her addiction and kept a roof over her head. I stopped talking to her when I was 15 and haven't talked to her in over 20 years. She died pennyless and alone in some government funded old folks home last week. She never took any accountability for her actions or apologized for ruining our childhood. I've managed to build a happy life for myself despite it all and in no way regret cutting her out of my life
My heart goes out to that lady. I hope she dries out and takes her life back soon. Nobody deserves this
Her sweetest memory is the same as mine. I know the feeling, Lisa 💖
18 months sober. Best decision I have ever made in my life.
Being the child of two alcoholics this hits home. My mom passed away from other medical conditions before she could get sober and my dad is 73 and has been sober for the last almost 3 years. I empathize with her and her kids, it's tough as hell growing up with alcoholics as parents and having to "take it with a grain of salt". Everyone deals with it in their own way. Me I know I have an addictive personality.. food and gambling were my vices. I just am self aware and make conscious choices every day and try to stay away from dr*gs and alcohol.
I Love Lisa❤❤.. what an inspiration when you’re feeling sorry for yourself… she’s a Warrior!!.. please do follow up Mark🫡