I honor Sara's life and the life of her three children, but just think: how would Sara's life been different, had her parents not coerced their 15-year-old child to get married to a man twice her age because she was pregnant? *This* is the question I cannot get out of my mind listening to her story.
Back THEN EVERYTHING was DONE for LOOKS..HER DAD WAS A DOCTOR..SORRY to SAY..you get PREGNANT you get MARRIED..EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS ONLY 15. They figure you're having sex YOU can get MARRIED. AND THEY WERE Religious freaks.THEY SURE DID HAND THEIR DAUGHTER OVER TO A CHILD MALASTING JUDAS.. poor child
@@shandracrews8238 It was the late 1990s. Nobody was doing that at that point. Even most Catholics. Were they religious fanatics? If you actually listen to her story her kid's father was about 30. Kinda gross. She also stated that he was abusive to her.
Being forced to marry an older man who got her pregnant at 16 years old, her ability to make decisions in her life was taken from her. I feel like she continues to make bad decisions because that is HER way of controlling her life. I really hope her saying her life out loud will give her the drive to start trying to forgive herself and reconnect with her kids and family. I have hope for her. ❤️
I completely agree with you. I think it was a very poor decision on her parents' part to make her marry at that young age, and that's why she ended up having two children by the age of 17. Then, she had three kids by 19. That's a lot of responsibility for anyone, and it's no wonder that she just wanted to run away and escape from all of that at such a young age. The death of her mother (who helped her raise her children) was a devastating blow.
In a way I understand. They probably thought they were securing her future and her kids future. You're not going to knock up my daughter at 15 and then disappear.
Sarah's pain, isolation, fear and loneliness are so real. Her suffering is the plight of someone who has been abused and self-medicates as a result. Her ability to compartmentalize and dissociate is a symptom of abuse. She is a victim. I pray she finds the courage to get treatment, to forgive herself. She deserves every happiness❤
If I calculated it right, she had 3 kids by 20. I believe her mothers death, an abusive relationship, and stresses of motherhood overwhelmed her. She ran to escape. Sometimes that can be the only way to save yourself. I hate that the children suffered and I can’t imagine their pain. I hope she can find her way back to good health and good standing with her family.
@@domino1842 Just IMHO, but a little harsh there, don't ya think? She didn't leave them with some stranger or sold them or beat them or started them on drugs or abandoned them on the streets...she just left them with their dads who loved them and didn't tell the 3rd one about the 1st 2. Oh my...such "abuse"!
I respect that shes been brutally honest. Its not for us to judge her. At least she is taking responsibility and not making excuses like most people. Its hard to look at yourself and expose all of your flaws, and secrets to the world.
@@BulkernatorKerb that doesn't happen overnight. She probably needs to get clean first. Every one has there own process. Please don't take this as an attack on your comment. Drugs are different today. They are super strong, very dangerous and very hard to get off. I couldn't imagine being in my hay day with the shit out there today. I thought heroin was bad enough. Best of luck.
I pray Sara gets help. She a good person that needs treatment. Mental health. Your worth everything Sara. We see you. Get help. Please. You are worth it. You are worth it !
@@incominghitdadirt9587 not to mention her these days things are almost exponentially more difficult. Jobs aren't as stable as they once were and that has cascading effects. Raising kids isn't as easy, and there are multiple aspects of that with cascading effects... the list goes on. There is no method to turn things around instantaneously.. it's definitely one step at a time. Even 8f she backsides, she is doing enlightenment level work right now. The thinks that happened that weren't her fault... mom and dad dying... are enough to break a person. But reflecting on, and correcting the things that were "of her own making" ... that's like swimming a lava river. I would argue that her getting pregnant at 15 isn't necessarily her fault or "wrong". And I would also argue that the word courageous is very applicable here. It makes me think that guilt has a duel nature. On one hand it drops into soul right through your flesh but on the other hand... it may be a driving force. Bizzarroh! Pray for her. Prayers go up.... blessings come down. Alcohol... still arguably the most dangerous drug and the hardest to quit. Other drugs are getting closer though.
@@elizabethmgotschall34 the concept of knowing someone's experiences from conception until the present and the fact that another person would have made all of the same exact choices in the same way, is what I've tried to use to help people that have a difficult time dealing with infidelity. In short. If you were them, and they were you, you would have done the same thing. I don't know how much it helps, and I think it's something that should be reiterated over time for it to have a chance to sink in and make sense to the broken hearted. But thanks for taking the time to articulate it so well. You're a beautiful person.
You don't let TRAUMA "go" that stays with you for the rest of your life,literally. You can manage it but it stays there forever. Trauma literally changes the way the mind thinks and physically even changes the brain. 👍 Life being "too short" has NOTHING to do with some of the pain,suffering and shit people are going through.
@@anitaostrander4301 there are people who need such care, and people who crave to provide it to fulfill their own purpose this way… It would be so wonderful if such people found each other more often and harmoniously overgrew their particular pains and fixations together
Yes. And the grief. You can see just this planet of grief hanging on her neck and she's drowning in tears. Please get some help with the grief and start looking for your song of strength. You survived so many hard things! You deserve to feel good about yourself and to begin to fix the problems today...right now. You can't change the past, but you don't have to let it drown you.
She seems like a pretty textbook case of arrested development. She was groomed, impregnated, and forced to marry at 15, and her emotional maturing stopped there. I hope she can find a really good counselor and just commit herself to doing what that person says for awhile. There is all kinds of potential for her!!!!
I agree. This would be a great direction for her to start putting the pieces of her life back together and to understanding where things ran off the tracks. I wish her all the best and if she sticks with good counsel, she's got a good chance of success ❤
I agree with you but at the same time I was capable of making and did make better decisions than this person when I was 15. I have a really hard time believing anything coming out of her mouth for some reason as well, which considering the horrible shit she is saying I wonder how truly awful the truth is. I am picturing babies in dumpsters kind of behavior.
@@Morgan-cn5fk And you made better choices at 15 with parents who forced you to marry a child predator who impregnated you? Imagine the upbringing she had to have had with parents who would think that was the right thing...and she thinks they were great. And you read 'liar', here? This is so honest. Everything. Every line screams honesty. She's admitting everything and taking full accountability for it- she is owning it all, even the sexual abuse she experienced which was not her fault- Fuck, she admits she's scared of authority and the guy was TWICE her age- growing up in a strict, religious home, elders are authority. But yeah, way to go, you're TOTALLY better than her. Me too, you're 100% better than me, too. 👍
Dear Sara, my heart goes out for you. your sadness made me also want to cry. Be sure, you are not the only one that feels alone. We care for you too from afar. Love
I knew Sarah and we were friends through middle and high school. We both had babies as teens. I've wondered what happened to you over the years, Sarah. I hope that you make it through this rough time in your life, Sarah. I'm definitely rooting for you. Xoxo Laura
Sarah is so sad and full of guilt and regret. But she is a drug addict. So, first thing is for her health she needs to get rehab and some mental therapy. Then, maybe she can start to build bridges with her children and move forward. It’s never too late. I wish her well.
I think it would mean a lot to her if you reached out to her! It’s not a coincidence that you saw this video! You might be an Angel sent by Jesus to help her in some way ❤️🙏
Sara’s story reminds me how complex human nature is. As humans we are deeply flawed but that does not mean our hearts are not good. There is a constant duality in this life. Life is a beautiful fucked up paradox. Grateful for her story & perspective.
that was deep! i found myself vacillating between judging her and being broken-hearted for her. i am proud of her for telling her truth, and i hope she starts to do that more often.
I felt the same. It was hard not to feel sympathetic toward her with how she bears the responsibility for her actions. I see so many of these interviews with moms who gave up their kids and act like it's totally not their fault or doing. Sara's story was the same but because of her attitude and guilt she carries - man, it really hit harder.
So they didn’t stay purely out of spite like eye for an eye That is even worse than you leaving. Godbless you and god help your kids to think differently because that is wrong.
@@alexaf2744 i was judging her for leaving her kids. i had to immediately check myself and remember i was not in her shoes and who knows if i might have done the same thing given the circumstance
She could literally turn her life around. Still be beautiful. Get a diagnosis. Get treated. Rebuild relationships with her kids. Stay focused. Have a beautiful life. If she would focus on gratitude, she could change. Start with being grateful for the sunshine, the flowers, the beauty in life. Be willing to get better and be grateful for that willingness to change. There IS hope Sarah!!!! ❤🙏 Go get it girl. Start with inpatient treatment!!! People online will help you!
Sorry to say but if you were drinking during your sons entire life, I can assure you his childhood was not beautiful. I can tell you this as the child of a (fairly moderate and well functioning) alcoholic.
Being 15 and "dating" a much older man is abuse. Then, compounding that by having your freedom and independence taken away by being forced by adults in the family to marry him, which allowed him to continue abusing her. She said she couldn't think of where it went wrong. I'm no expert, but I think that is the catalyst of what went wrong. The trauma was deep before she was even an adult, despite the upper class lifestyle of her childhood. She had adult responsibilities and problems as a child before her mind was old enough to handle it. I was abandoned before birth by a parent who I'm sure had his own trauma and reasons. I'm not saying this as an excuse but as a deeper explanation other than just seemingly random "bad decisions." She said she thinks no one would notice if she went missing. I think she's had that opinion of herself for a long time and that's possibly the belief that led her to leave her kids, along with a desire for the freedom she had taken from her at 15. It sounds like she never realized her innate self worth, substituted it for a while by taking care of her parents. If your worth is being a caregiver to or impressing your parents and they go away, what are you left with? I hope she realizes how much self worth she has and how much worth she had to her kids from birth. I think getting clean(if she wants), stable, and building self esteem/self love and recognizing her trauma through therapy is important before trying to mend things with wounded adult children. I think if she works on herself, her kids will see that and maybe one day be ready to build a relationship with their bio mom. If they're not ever willing(which is their right), the work she does on herself will still help her cope and live her own best life. Again, I'm no expert. This is not professional advice, just my early morning thoughts as I watch the video and hear her story. I hope she does connect with a professional who is a good fit for her and can help her.
@@beabeauchamp956 She said "my friend's older brother" 0:46 and "he was a lot older than I was" 1:16 and she said later "he was almost 30 when I was 15." 15:45
This one hits a nerve with me because I see slivers of my own mother in Sara. My sympathies lie with her children. She speaks of her trauma, of which she has been through plenty, but her kids have paid a bigger price because of it. And then to think she has a chance to actually meet up with one of them then chose to go and meet a man instead says it all about where her heart truly lies.
@jasonbrindley3376 did u not hear what happened to her at 15?? What does a child know about life. I blame the 30 yr old for molesting her. Also her parents for forcing her to marry that guy. That's where her life took a horrible turn
I agree with this. I see my mother in her as well and its never been about how her choices made me feel, she just wanted me to just understand why she di it and forgive. I cannot.
As sad as it is, that was actually a good story, and now that she said it out loud she can find the strength to make changes and move forward in a positive direction. She is not making excuses, but telling her truth. Much respect to you Sara. I wish you the best. ❤❤❤
The pain so very evident in this woman’s eyes is what drew me in, made me click to hear her story. She was molested by her children’s father and then married off to him. Trauma then more trauma and MORE trauma! She is not the only one.
This one had me riveted. I could not take my eyes off it. She bought me to tears. So natural and articulated her story superbly. I wish Sara all the love and strength
How could she possibly know who she was? She was still a child with two children, and she wasn’t able to figure out who she was or what she really wanted from her life. I feel awful for her, worse for her children. I hope someone can give her the time, counseling, treatment she needs so desperately.
Poor thing. Had parents who helped her while she went to school and worked, had supportive parents. Had a change to reunite with her daughter just weeks ago, but decided to screw that up and take off and meet some guy. Double abandonment for her daughter who she left as though she was dead!! No sympathy here. Billions of young girls have children and don’t abandom them!!
When a man shares that he left his kids he isn’t questioned as to how something like that could happen. Men leaving their kids is just as damaging as moms leaving.
Because we are women, we grow kids inside our bodies, we bond with them differently than men/fathers and we don’t just run away to have a nice life with some guy. And just Abandone them like garbage.
I think her biggest problem is that she’s lost herself by making some bad decisions, like she said. But she needs help first of all to deal with her addictions. Because every time she feels lost, she realize it, but she turns to alcohol and now it’s meth! So she has to get help from that meth. And she needs to do it in a hurry, because she’s not able to get high with meth anymore, and before long, someone is going to introduce her to fentanyl to mix with meth, which will definitely take her out.😢. It’s a killer, but everybody wants it!
20 year ago when I got clean, I was still "on drugs". The chemicals may have left my body, but I was still in that mindset. I had to tell my story. Had to get it out, show my weakness, and be honest. Only then did I start to heal, make amends, and move on. This can be her 1st step towards a better life, or the last confession, before all hope dies. I hope she uses this to fuel the fire. To surprise herself, and her family. Please let this be the beginning of a new life.
Me too Matt! I used for over 20 years & most of that time I hid my addiction from everyone. Only I the last few years of my struggle did I hit rock bottom- I had to be honest, ask for help & work my ass off yo stay clean - 4 years now & surrendering is the best option & I hope Sara can do the same - she has a good heart & deserves a second chance at a life with her family ❤
People will judge? Didn’t you just judge them? This whole judging nonsense is complete garbage. Go live in the streets and don’t judge anybody and see how long you last
I've had the pain of my brother having stage four cancer as a child, and the pain by self-inflicted means, and they will both make you feel just as sick and hollow. (thankfully there are silver linings, like my brother being healthy now, or this woman realizing her true path.)
I think people tend to forget that self inflicted pain is always a product of an underlying problem or mental pain that is already there. Someone who is fine doesnt suddenly turn to self destructive behaviour for no reason. Its an expression of something already inside. Thats why i never judge people who hurt themselves
Dear Sara, I have so much compassion for you. I understand the desperation that can drive us to do these seemingly incomprehensible things. The most important thing is to find a way to get clean and sober. 12 step programs can be extremely helpful with this as they provide support and a structured way to work through these issues. A peaceful, meaningful life for you is possible. Sending you much love and support.
It's refreshing to hear someone comment with kind words for this woman. You seem very empathetic. Concerning the 12 step programs. They don't always work. Most people in chronic physical addiction to a substance need medical intervention supervised by a professional. Merely talking about your struggle with other people in similar situations isn't enough. Also, they typically have a religious affiliation, and if you don't happen to be a person of faith, you feel excluded. What we need are more doctors and therapists who are able to work with addicts who don't have medical insurance or funding for rehab. Most drug dependent people need help tapering off of the substance they are addicted to. They may need specific medication to control withdrawal symptoms. An hour long meeting in a church basement once a week just isn't going to help most people.
You are so right with every single word you wrote ‼️ They really need much, much more attention and help , than they get now,.... Honestly I saw 90 % from Mark‘s Interviews and it’s like most of them shares almost the same childhood traumas !! What I can’t understand is , why there are so many people ????? But for example: Sara had a good childhood and did her own stuff but for any kind of reasons, it wasn’t what she wanted or what she needed. The most important for her is to FIND HERSELF again but it won’t work, out on the dangerous streets; alone and lonely 😩 !!! SARA, God bless you and he Loves you, please don’t forget it. I KNOW FOR SURE THAT YOUR TIME WILL COME to fight against your own demons AND YOU WILL WIN this fight, I know it ‼️ I’ll pray for you and I know that God is listening 👂!!! You think NOBODY LOVES YOU but that’s not true !!!!! I don’t know you and you don’t know me BUT I LOVE YOU and that’s no lie ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ Greets, Hugs and Love 4 you SARA , don‘t forget that you are a wonderful, pretty and strong Lady ‼️ I BELIEVE IN YOU Greets from AUSTRIA 🇦🇹, Europe ; 👋 Michaela 👋 ❤️☮️🍀👌🥰👍🏽💋♾
@@RowanWarren78 12 step programs aren’t against MAT. They have no opinion on outside issues (as a group). I’m in a 12 step program, I’m not religious, but I am spiritual. I agree with you 100% on the medical care side of it though. Its extremely hard to get mental health and substance abuse help. Medical care is a human right.
@@RowanWarren78 Dear Rowan, you are correct about the medical help often needed, and how hard it can be to get. I like to recommend simple first actions, and 12 steps programs are plentiful, easily accessible, with plenty of different meeting options which makes it possible to find the ones that feel right to you. Thanks for adding nuance to the conversation.
Has Sara ever had any real help? Is she open to counseling? She deserves some solid help, and some hope for the future. With help, she could piece her life together.
Sarah has to want help, she has to get tired of being sick and tired. There's no way to help her unless she wants to be HELPED. She has to want to leave the drugs alone.
Sadly, Sarah has had help...several times. She has to want to stay clean. TBH most of this story is BS. I love Sarah like a sister and I pray every night she hits rock bottom and reaches out before it's too late.
She reminds me of my mother . She had two kids in Long Beach that I didn’t hear about until I was well into my 20’s . She met my father and had myself and my sister . We knew nothing until she passed in 2020 … she used drugs… she drank but she was a good mom when she was a mom. I always feared she would leave us and never knew why I felt that. We all live this life the best we can…. We can’t spend time judging eachother cause we come from different backgrounds. Different experiences. No one walks the same walk…
It’s interesting to hear how similar her & my mother sound when she said she’s afraid of dying alone. My mom left us on & off our entire childhood & chose to live her life for herself. That has caused my 2 brothers to completely shut her out. I’m 26 now & I have boundaries w her. She uses the “my kids never call, they wouldn’t care if I died, my kids treat me like I don’t exist”. I understand her pain but I don’t think she completely understands ours.
thanks for sharing this! I empathize a ton. My mom didn't "leave" per say but my dad got custody when I was 12 bc of her alcoholism and abuse. Dad was also abusive but different. We've had family therapy sessions, my mom, older brother and I, where we try to tell her hey we love you and you just never believe us. She, and I, have borderline PD, and I'd like to think some of that behavior comes from that (thinking wow that's just my mom would be too much to process), the low self esteem, changing perception of self, lack of identity, "acting out", unstable relationships, etc. I'm medicated and sober now for 5 years (im 28), we can work on this stuff so it's hard to see mom struggling with it. It gets so frustrating when they are so busy "punishing" themselves that you can't get mad at them. SENDING HUGS.
I almost never comment on videos but this one spoke so deeply to me. Sara is so raw and genuine through this whole interview and you can tell. Not only through her body language but the pain and desperation in her eyes and the calmness in her voice. I really hope she finds the support system and help that she needs to get back on her feet ❤ Something tells me she will. Good luck Sara, we're rooting for you.
Mark, without question Sara was the most powerful heartbreaking interview you've done so far and I've seen them all. Thank you Sara sending love healing and peace.❤
Everyone doesn’t need to be abuse and molestation victims to have it rough as an adult. There are other powerful factors like decisions being made for you and lack of support. Most can deal, but Sara seemed a bit of a narcissist and that’s tough on skid row!
@@more1091 Being a narcissist is tough not only on Skid Row, also any spouses/partners in particular. They can be very demanding to deal with & so far, there's no known treatment for the disorder. I feel for Sara, I really do, but there's a missing piece of the puzzle here. It's obvious she was successful at some not too distant time in her life. Yet I will not judge her, as many of us have skeletons in the closet.😒 I would like to meet her, but live on the East Coast & she in LA. Too far for a disabled man to drive & potentially dangerous too. Like, how in in sea of homeless folks, how would anyone find her?
When she said "I've never actually been Sara I heavily resonated with her, I feel such a connection to her struggle, the self sabotage and the playing a part I've never turned to drugs but I've done a lot of crazy stuff in search of myself. Hope she gets the strength to find herself and stop playing parts. Praying for you Sara ♥
Sara is just a name. Your a real mom, you gave them life from your body, how amazing are you. No greater love than love as a mom,and no greater love than love of your child. You can make it, you have to believe in yourself, your an amazing human being. You have love waiting for you.
My whole life I've been saying silent prayer's for people who i never met but knew existed. And this channel has introduced me to exactly who they were aimed at. And I continue to pray, but now I see the faces in my head of the people who there intended for.
@@RiggyRonnie Oh please, so what, yeah she has not been honest at some point, she admitted it, her whole interview is an admission of guilt, are you going to judge her and lock her out of our empathy and understanding? Come the fuck on. There is no need to cast stones on this channel on these vulnerable interviewees, please; we are all the same deep down, HUMAN and flawed.
@@ArdentePatience why such hostility towards a person making a truthful statement? It's a factual statement, and not a judgmental one. The original comment made a judgmental statement that did not match up with the content in the video, so of course someone corrects that person. At least they were nice about it.
@@aliciamari85 No it is not.a factual comment. The facts are she is honest and especially about not having been honest. Period. And that is what the original comment of this thread states.
@@ArdentePatience this comment and your main one are so HARSH. I love that you tell people not to judge yet you judge others for judging her. Talk about hypocrisy. Your comments are triggering as hell and as Sara said she’s scared of yelling and everything else however you feel it’s right to leave comments with such vile and crude wording. I don’t know why you feel it’s your place to speak to people like this that you don’t know in a TH-cam comment section but it’s not healthy or helpful.
She still has her brain, her body isn't wrecked, she simply has to get clean. Very much easier said than done, but if she doesn't get clean, in a few years she WILL be one of those wraiths you see on the street. There's still a chance for this woman. Get clean, get an apartment, get a job, every day one at a time, focus on what you can control, EXERCISE daily, read daily, and get locked into that pattern. If she's clean, there's also hope she can rekindle relationships with her kids. She has a future, she has things to look forward to (e.g., grandkids), she is not a lost cause by any means. I hope she can do it...
She still has her brain but she has lost her mind. Weird thing is I thought if you were mad you wouldn't know it, but she does. I think we all keep two sets of books to some extent, but her feats of self deception (and deception of others) are next-level. Getting clean will be a good first step, but there's all the 'compartmentalisation' as she calls it, to explore. She'll never be happy whilst she treats others the way she has - I hope she finds some help to get to the bottom of that, because it's as least as important as getting clean if she wants to cultivate some sort of relationship with her siblings and children again.
@@K1lostream It all takes time. From the moment you stop doing the drugs.....every day you put between that day makes things a little better. Life can be completely turned around. Might never be what you once hoped for but it certainly can be a new and different one that can also be a very happy one. I know, I did exactly that! I thank the good Lord every day!
@@K1lostream Pretty deep but not altogether true imao. Something has caused her to run from every relationship. Yes, she's self-centered and selfish but that is repairable. AA/NA are her place to find her Self. Church's are good but they aren't equipped to handle the practicing alcoholic/drug addict. Getting clean and staying clean are the first step.
I have watched all episodes, yet, for me this is the deepest, saddest story, ever. I truly feel for this lady, and I respect her honesty. You can tell how much pain and shame she carries. They say, do not blame circumstances, or others, for what happens to you, but I believe that in her life, many things and people were just very unfair. Leaving her kids with their father, is not like leaving them with strangers. They grew up in a caring home, it seems.I do wish her the best, from the bottom of my heart.
Szilvia Puhl,I agree, how much grief can one person bare?this is what happens when children are having children,this interviewer needs to walk a mile in her shoes,she was abused by an older man who was a paedophile.
There’s something so childlike about Sarah’s need to be seen. I wish she talked more about her childhood. There’s a lot of hidden pain she glossed over.
Wow, that's a lot of guilt. Coming on here and 'confessing' to the world this gigantic burden of shame she carries around - seems like a really good start. She seems very lucid, and certainly remorseful about how things have turned out. I hope that she can reconnect and seek forgiveness from the people she used to be close to. I hope this has been cathartic for her. "today is the first day of the rest of your life"
Bless her broken heart. The pain of guilt is written all over her face. Such an honest and Frank disclosure - only wish it had been with a therapist (no offence to the lovely man listening). Good luck sweetheart we all want you to carry on and find peace and most of all, forgive yourself❤
It’s not to late for her. She should go to rehab/therapy. She would be an amazing social worker! I wonder if she’s ever tried antidepressants. It could change her life. I pray her family will forgive her someday. Bless you beautiful Sara.
Your parents “having” you get married at 15 because you get pregnant as a catholic is not a good childhood. There’s likely more going on there she just breezed through
I think the problems started with Jacob and meth at 19, you can clearly see everything go downhill fast from there, meth is the problem, it is a savage it is ruthless.
@@napster2650 problem started when she was tossed into adult life as a teen. she never grew up properly, never learn healthy coping mechanisms or get to make mistakes without huge responsibility (husbands would be just boyfriends, without kids in the picture). she was still learning to function alone - this was the beginning
@@dead_nn5293 wtf are you talking about?? She was 19! That’s everything but not a child. Millions of mother’s got there children with 19-18-17 and did great. The issue is addiction and drugs! Family values can protect from drugs and a bad lifestyle. It’s no guarantee whatsoever, but it’s a good foundation.
She is the first one I've ever watched and genuinely understood and connected with. No BS she just put it all out there. I feel like I know exactly who she is. Because I am her. I didn't make the same choices thankfully. But I feel that same feeling of just not belonging anywhere. Not deserving. My head knows better but there's always something making you feel different. I will pray for you to find the support and guidance to make better choices and for you to finally love yourself. Because the person I just watched is totally deserving and worthy with so much to offer.
@@jacyjohnson5476 Thank you. Same here, I cried through a lot of this one. I don't usually comment much because I don't feel anything genuine from most of these. But she touched me. No excuses just genuine.
@@DitzyDorisAnnDoris, your comment resonated , accurately. This one was so poignant. I ddnt expect such relatability. Jarring. I ddnt even realize I was crying until near the end. So many periods ,where I'd thought I'd "figured it/myself out" ,or 'my place' to get back to "what /who/where"?. Gratitude helps nudge my attitude. "Ms.So.much.potential",distinctive disappointment -if referenced by family of few. Shame and regret follow even with strides. I don't deny my cowardice , panicked impulses, and foolish hope. Never motivated by malice . Though the acts & story differ- similar in manner and sort. ✩For what it's worth- hoping for you: Patience, faith , and love for self.And further, acknowledged recognition and empathy ♡(>o
Doris, I relate to both of you 100 percent. Sarah has been the first interview of marks I've seen, of hundreds of interviews, where I felt like I saw the closest to my story mentally, how I felt as far as loneliness and being completely uncared for, lonely and completely devastated with nothing to look forward to, nobody to love and trying to make everyone happy around me but myself. God bless you Sarah I am rooting for you and I wish you had a way to get in contact with you because I have years clean now and I never could put together two days for almost three decades and I see a huge success story in you. You deserve to be happy no matter what you've done, every human being does. Listen to nothing of what they say and EVERYTHING of what they do when it comes to some of these scoundrels on the streets and in the world of drugs. When you finally get tired of being sick and tired, find your way to rehab and a 12-step program and you will be grateful 🥲 and is he goes by you can choose to stay sober one day at a time. Your children love and miss you as much as you do them and you'd be surprised it how much children will forgive just to have the opportunity to be with you. I know I would have had I been given the opportunity but that is not the case. Stay strong, keep your head up and do not let fear drive your life anymore. Do not be afraid to ask your help because nobody and I mean nobody can do this alone and you don't have to.
So she abandoned her two eldest children, who probably now have a huge amount of issues from their Mother just disappearing. This stuff has effects on everyone involved.
She was married off at 15. She's had to play a role her whole life. I see a good person who was dealt a really tough hand. Good luck Sara! I think you're pretty cool. Hope you find a version of yourself that you're happy with and that feels real and sincere.
She was dealt a GREAT hand. Her poor choices are what lead to her current situation. Then she ABANDONED her kids. Straight up degenerate. Straight up trash. What type of mother does that. She sure could spread her legs and enjoy herself but couldn’t deal with the results.
her father was a doctor, her mother a nurse. her parents helped her raise her kids while she went to school. she went to private catholic school. she WASN'T dealt a bad hand- she screwed up.
This! Now, the other lady that was a tragic story, because she really was dealt crap time after time. This lady I do not have sympathy for the things that made her life goes sideways were choices she made from the beginning, and then the other bad things that happened were things that happen to anybody and everybody in life like losing parents.. the fact that she just up and left her kids know I’m sorry I don’t have sympathy for her. I could never in 1 million years do that to my son.
I could feel her pain too but honest and genuine? I don't see or feel that. What struck me was when she said she had to be the center of attention. I would imagine she would use having sex if she didn't get the attention she craved and probably still craves. I see a combination of mental illness, obsession, narcissism, addictions and just plain lack of caring for herself and others. I hope she gets back to her church and God and goes to an extended rehab. She looks like she was a beautiful woman before the drugs and drinks. I wish for the best honest journey and outcome for Sara. Peace be with all.
Ur an idiot falling for her poor me crap when she's gone through her life destroying everyone around her then moving on to greener pastures to do it all over. I feel sorry for the vast wake of her victims not her and that should be ur focus to not her bullshit designed to illicit sympathy for herself. If she really felt anything for anyone else shed cowboy up and work it as they tell u in these 12 stepper programs.Shes like a hand grenade at a wedding s being the shrapnel all over the room and causing grief to all she encounters. I envy everyone she's never met
She absolutely needs to hear that she can change things. Her trauma tore her up and she had a psychotic break. She was a child when she became a mother. My heart goes out to her children.
This one hurt, being a Reno/Tahoe local, a mother, and a meth addict in recovery my heart hurts for her. Recovery is possible but you have to want it dearest Sara. Religion is not how I got out of the mess I created, Accountability and hard work and support is the only way I got out.
Proud of you! She is going to have a really hard time with the accountability thing until she gets a firmer grasp on being honest. I think she might even believe the lies she is spewing.
@@Morgan-cn5fk I agree. It’s hard when still using. I could justify and back up the terrible things I was doing because the drugs convinced me it was okay. Really a sad cycle. Meth is sooo evil. I hope she finds recovery and peace. It’s really a great life out here once you get clean.
I was just thinking the same thing. Her interview felt like her first cathartic share. She would thrive in NA. If she dug in and found the right sponsor oh man she would be a force for recovery.
@@amandavanwyck3645 and here she's suffering for it. I'm not excusing abandoning her children, but she's also a deeply broken individual who had a lot to deal with including a forced marriage to an abusive man. She deserves peace just like her children do. I'm sorry you had to go through that
If they did she would just hurt them again... Best they manage their expectations and keep her at arms length. She can't stop doing what she does if she doesn't know why she does it.
Sara, thank you for sharing your truth. I found your interview captivating, raw and honest. You have a gift for speaking. Perhaps writing too. I hope you will reach out for the help you need and deserve. You have an audience here that cares about you. We want to see you do well. Blessings to you and your children.
This is the best Soft White Underbelly interview I've ever seen. I've seen dozens. The look of pain is so profound. Thank you, Mark. I think you've captured something seldom seen.
Man I must have seen 100 of your videos... this just broke me. I'm sitting here in such an introspective rabbit hole relating to the loneliness she is talking about. It's real out here. Damn Sara you are loved I hope shit gets better. I'd end this by saying imma go call X family member but I cant even do that...
@@stoniefalcon7735 Just wanted to show support & encouragement, did not realise the family member is dead, I thought you could not do it due to some of your internal reasons
@@Mara.La888 I can see why you would say that my apology for the reaction. I did however reach out to a nephew who I thought wouldnt talk to me and we spoke until the sun came up so that In itself was very much worth it.
Getting impregnated by a older man and forced to marry is traumatizing for a girl of 15. She never developed a semse of self and seems to struggle with ever being accepted and sabatoging anything good...shes secretive to absolute detriment...poor gal...every lie and struggle shows on her face.
This is without a doubt one of the most heartbreaking interviews on this channel I sincerely hope she gets the help she very clearly needs and that her children will prehaps start to forgive her.
Why would they forgive her? She'd do it again in a heartbeat. She destroys her life and everyone in it, and doesn't know why, and even if she could do it all over again, she'd do the same thing.
As a Mom who is Neglected and Ignored by 4 grown children, I too Pray that Sara's children Will Forgive Her. That will help her heart to heal and help her to forgive herself. I know All too well how she Feels.
@@CATNAPREAL1188 Forgive her?? She intentionally left her children and never even said goodbye, and then said she'd do the same thing again!! My sisters and I couldn't stand the mommy dearest lady that gave birth to us and treated us like cheap furniture.
I love your style of interviewing these incredibly broken people. The way you respectfully get them to speak honestly and candidly without really pushing them too much is amazing. Thank you for all your hard work.
Yes, I Agree! You have a fascinating approach to this entire interviewing process. To be Honest, I kind of think that the first man she married may have forced himself on her ("he was a lot older than me") she said. That marriage was just a terrible way to cope with something unexpected and Aweful! This story is too common and I'm just grateful that she had the opportunity and courage to share it.... The Trauma and Loss is Obvious! Even if I only hear her side of the story,,,She speaks her Truth. It's a psychological reaction to Acute Trauma.
She was a child with two children and she was a victim of domestic abuse, it’s understandable why she ran, she was obviously completely overwhelmed. It doesn’t seem like her parents gave her a chance to grow up by forcing her into marriage at 15. I feel so bad for her, I pray she can get help and forgive herself and that her children will forgive her as well
I feel like this stems from the pressure and trauma. of growing up having to look like your picture is always perfect. I understand this pressure. God Bless
When I watched this I seen my mother. For years I’ve held so much hate for my mom for being an addict and not being here for me… As ive grown older I’ve started the forgiveness process. I really started to understand that she was always just doing the best she could.
The person on the lights and camera did a wonderful job. Great editing and sound. It takes a lot of guts for this woman to lay her life out for all to see.
Wow, the way she describes how she feels disassociated from herself, lives in a fairy tale, has no goals and couldn't care less... Honestly sounds exactly like me for most of my life before I managed to get my depression under control by ending up on the right medication and dedicating myself to seeking and accepting help for alcoholism. What Sara needs is professional help for whatever she's been self-medicating all these years, and a 12 step program of some sort, where I think she could thrive with her already impressive amount of self awareness and willingness to be honest by any standard, much less for someone in active addiction. I hope she finds the peace she deserved to have when her youth was stolen by people that were supposed to care for and protect her.
I agree completely. She has a definite low self-esteem and depression problem; she needs to see a therapist and help to get off the drugs (if she's on any anymore). I think she's beating herself up w-a-y too much for what she did, which was leave her kids with their dad, and not tell the 3rd about the other 2. There's much worse stuff she could have done, IMHO, for God's sakes. One thing I do differ with you is I don't see how her youth was "stolen" by others who were suppose to care for and protect her...they did help her! When she got pregnant when she was only 15, she must have wanted to keep the baby and back then...well then, you got married. Yet, her parents still took care of her kids for her so she could finish high school (by her own admission). She even went to college for a while but by then her dad was out of the country and her mom got sick, so couldn't help. It's not her mom's fault she got sick and couldn't help...and yet this lady worked, went to school, took care of her 2 kids, and then spent every weekend being a relief for her dad in taking care of her mom (her choice) with I'm guessing her kids spending time with their grandpa (invaluable). Only when her mom died did the depression finally get the best of her. Seems to me that she had a whole bunch of family support and was very close to her parents, at least.
Same here! No alcohol or hard drugs here but still self medicating with kratom and other herbs. I dissociated and couldn’t care less about anything either, I had no goals or plans. But now that I’m on the right meds I’m able to care a bit more
Unfortunately 99 % dont make it out from Meth . It is the highest drug that people take their own lives on. They dont get away from the demons they open themselves too. They make them take their own lives .
@@Zionplaysrivals Yep, that's another part of her tragedy is that she needs a support system but she can't fit in anywhere. And her past decisions have isolated her from her friends and peers. It's sad because she says a lot of her decisions are her fault, but life hit her so hard and fast that I find it hard to blame her that she reacted the way she did and ran from her responsibilities.
The most interesting part of this interview? The comments. Never fails to amaze me how so many people can watch the exact same thing, yet see something so completely different. Humans eh! Utterly fascinating.
The fact that she’s spoken of things that she’s never told anyone before, is a testament to the power of Mark’s presence. He makes people feel comfortable enough to bear their souls but not just to Mark but to US.
She had never spoken of those things before because she was making it up. Saying that she hadn’t talked about it before was just filler when she was coming up with the story. She should probably start writing short stories as a hobby and see if she can make it as an author.
THIS is precisely why a (preferably non-judgmental) support system is so important! As a former 20yr addict (3yrs sober) my family lifted me from the gutter and w/out them I’d be nothing. I can sympathize with EVERYTHING she is saying cuz not that long ago I too was in her shoes. I am praying for God’s grace and provision in her life and hope she can take small steps to get better. Lord knows she deserves restoration….
My sister was in this woman’s shoes. Everyone has a rock bottom and she hasn’t seen her rock bottom yet. My sisters rock bottom was having her first baby in jail while awaiting drug charges. In the past 7 years my little sister has turned her life completely around. She worked her ass off to get custody of her baby when he was 7 months old and now she’s engaged to an amazing man and has two kids. I have been next to her cheering her on the whole time. I am so god damn proud of her. I cannot express that enough. Let me tell you that I bet your family is proud of you! Good job staying clean.
Society need to get back to understand that when you post opinions or call out facts… THAT IS NOT JUDGMENT. The only people who feel that it’s judgment are the ones who live in their feelings instead of logic and because they live in their feelings can’t understand calling out facts isn’t being judgmental.
I would never peg her as a method user. She is still so pretty, dressed nicely and completely coherent. I loved her transparency and her willingness to accept full responsibility for her own actions. It's one person I feel could turn her life around with the right tools. One common thread through all these interviews seems to be trauma...deaths or abuse of some sort. It shows how important it is to receive mental health and or spiritual help to cope so hopefully destructive coping doesn't enter the picture. Prayers for you Sara and your kids. It's never to late to become the person God planned for you to be when he first created you. Satan is evil and wants your soul...stand up and refuse to let him win!
You can see it in her face. It's very hard on the body, but remember she only started using any drugs a few years ago. A lot of addicts have a lifetime of substance abuse under their belts
There is a massive amount of people using meth and you would barely have a clue. Poor people, professionals and rich. Just doing meth doesn't turn you into a skin picking street dweller.
She seems to have become stuck as the confused, scared, immature and naive 15 yr old girl she once was. Good for her for opening up. She won´t let herself cry. She won´t even say the word cry. Hopefully she can get some help, work through all the pain and learn to realize that she is an amazing worthwhile adult woman and can get some self worth and live a happy life. A very broken woman living with layers and layers of GUILT.
Her honesty is impressive. Not many people can admit to their mistakes. I see the level of deep pain she has and the guilt. I hope she’s doing better and able to repair some parts of the relationship she lost with her children.
There is definitely childhood trauma that is not being revealed. One does not get pregnant at 15 when everything is wonderful at home. I wish her the best in the future.
Why not? All it takes to get pregnant is to have sex, it takes 5mn sometimes! It’s about educating girls their value and to be careful with alcool, how to say no, to turn down someone even if they insist, not to be a pleaser that’s a common thing for girls. Parents are afraid to be raw and talk about this as if ignoring it will make it disappear. Also this has to be addressed before teen years. Now that we live in hypersexualized internet era it’s even worst. I warned my girls first about alcool, present in most tragedies, if the guy insists, tell him to jerk off, if you sleep with boys, other boys will target you, then when a very nice guy appears, he’s gonna be less likely to want you if you’ve been too easy, men are hunters, it has to be difficult. Be respected, most of all respect yourself, wait until you understand what sex is, wait for love, desire, pleasure. Doing it at a party, in a car or in a bathroom isn’t how you want your first time. Building desire, wondering if he likes you, expectation, stretch this as much as you can, after that you’ll be doing it for the rest of your life and this step will be gone. Don’t burn it, don’t ruin your entry in love life, it’s your story, your life, your value. Choose yourself! The world is yours. If someone told her this, she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant at 15.
said the same thing. she mentioned at 26:24 that she acts like some of the bad things in her life never happened by living in a fairytale & it makes me think that she’s really suppressing some deeper trauma (as a protective mechanism) that’s being unconsciously expressed in her life and decisions now.
Wow. What an intense life journey - the situation she found herself in at 15 I believe was the culprit for the rest that followed. I hope the best for her and look forward to a follow up interview.
Fingers crossed that Sara finds her place in this world! She deserved one more chance!When she told about the story that she came back to her hometown and no one recognized her anymore like Sara as a person, but like the homeless Sara, it makes me think about how homeless people are INVISIBLE by society. Mark you do a great job giving people the opportunity and visibility to share their stories!
She deserves a second chance...She deserves to be able to rehabilitate and reconnect with the people she loves. I hate to see what this world does to everyone, I wish life was better.
@@blackthornsloe8049 It's a shame. If you know anyone whose mother has left for a better life, you know that the child grows up damaged. She got away from the abusive husband, but left the kids with him. If she could get clean and get the help she needs, she seems like she could repair the relationships with her children. Now she says she can't really get high anymore because of her collapsed veins, so it's a rarity. But she was walking down the street in the night just the other night, with needles in her bag...needles for the drugs that she really doesn't use anymore...
@@blackthornsloe8049 i think you're failing to listen to what she's saying. do you really think being married off and pregnant at 15 is something that wouldn't affect one's psyche and ability to raise children of her own? did that detail just fly over your head, or did you just chose to ignore it?
@@Asoftenkameshee yeah ... you can help her by having her come over to watch your kids . Oh , you don't have kids ? Huh , such an authority on it all . Super impressed .
does she? If my parents abandoned me when I was a child I wouldn't give them the time of day. Boho, she had it hard, how did the kids have it without a mother and father?
@@baublesanddolls She left the kids with their father- who was an adult when they were born. The details are sketch. Its not an excuse but imagine being pregnant with a grown mans child and forced to marry. What a stupid decision from day one. Her daughter is right to be cautious. Her mother is an addict but she would likely have been aborted by most in this situation. People of means don't force their kids to marry these days..
This woman reminds me of my mom. Chooses self or men over kids no matter if she's on drugs or sober. I hope she gets clean but her selfishness is who she is. That won't change. She's said she had a chance to meet up with her daughter but decided to go see a man. Omg! I feel so bad for her kids,not her.
Not the worse thing in the world...I'm guessing she just got scared of how the kid would perceive her. She definitely has a "running" thing going on, but I see it as very low self esteem. My mom stuck around to undercut me in everything I did...wish she had "run" instead. Sometimes dads are better "moms" than the moms themselves, IMHO.
She’s really vain and narcissistic. She’s more worried about what people think than being a mom. I think people are downplaying her alcoholism also. Drinking that heavily can certainly cause bad decisions to be made. This lady makes horrible decisions and then pities herself. And yes, she had low self-esteem and chooses men over her children. Sad.
I am very touched by this interview. The courage you have behind your voice - strikes me. Even though you made mistakes, and we all have, I now know you exist on this planet alongside me. In many ways I feel connected to the worries and self-frustration. We BOTH could have done better. I am currently learning how to allow myself to make mistakes. You are a sister to me. You have a lot to offer still.
a brutally honest episode of self reflection that is truly heart breaking. I really hope Sara gets to break out of this cycle of loneliness and despair and is able to find some happiness
What an extraordinary lady ! She is of a different time/generation/place ! She blames nobody but herself ! I hope the world becomes a better place for her . She has a lot to contribute
Forcing her to marry and have the baby at 15 should be illegal. Yet people like her are forced into a life like this, and abortion gets criminalized. The system punishes victims.
I’m trying to put the pieces together ~ Sara is 39, her children are 23, 21 & 18 (a five year age gap). She’s 16, 17 and 20 when her children are born - Raised and educated Catholic - Married at 15 everyone lived with her parents - Not sure when her family of four move into their own place - Leaves her family; meets an ex-con at 19 - She and new boyfriend (Jacob) moved in with her folks; is pregnant or gets pregnant - Disassociates with her older kids when they’re four and fives years old - Jacob dies during a police report. He is tasered. Mentioned of a lawsuit ~ quiet - Mother is dx’d with late stage cancer. Parents sell everything for her treatment at non big name cancer treatment center in CA - She and her sisters go back/forth to be with their Mom in hospice - Mom dies of cancer, Dad is a drug addict and dies 7/8 years later - Not sure when she moves to CA - She drinks two gallons of vodka a day - Returns to Reno; remembers to seek the Methodist church? - Returns to CA an intravenous user, new home Skid Row - Only the eldest has minimal contact ** there is to much unexplained money ** it’s clear her kids wanted a structured by joining the military * Not sure which direction is best suited for Sara ?! Drugs & alcohol are generally nobodies best friend
@@patriciavasara1051 I wondered if she has or had a private monthly stipend, maybe a trust from her parents, inheritance, or the settlement from wrongful death of her first children's father. It could explain the money, or why discussion about the settlement was off limits. An NDA would definitely be included if the prison settled out of court.
I think this video truly has the potential to turn Sara's life around; she's brutally honest and self aware, not to mention intelligent and well spoken, I hope this interview can be therapeutic for her and help her confront her trauma and let go of the guilt
Sara and her story reminds me so much of my Mother...I know very little about her life before I was born and how I became part of her life. Why the man who raised me for the first part of my life decided to stay. I was not his son nor his responsibility, neither was my abusive, addicted, raging alcoholic mother. The nightmare they (we) endured will always be a mystery to me sadly. They both passed away from alcohol and drug abuse before I was anywhere near an age to attempt to be told or even understand everything, I know I never knew my mother sober, or what made her focus so much anger onto me My father worked day and night for weeks at a time, to give a child he had no responsibility to( Even adopted me later on) a chance at life......ill always be greatful him and tell my motherI forgiveher and love her bo matter what. ♥️
I honor Sara's life and the life of her three children, but just think: how would Sara's life been different, had her parents not coerced their 15-year-old child to get married to a man twice her age because she was pregnant? *This* is the question I cannot get out of my mind listening to her story.
This ❤️
Back THEN EVERYTHING was DONE for LOOKS..HER DAD WAS A DOCTOR..SORRY to SAY..you get PREGNANT you get MARRIED..EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS ONLY 15. They figure you're having sex YOU can get MARRIED. AND THEY WERE Religious freaks.THEY SURE DID HAND THEIR DAUGHTER OVER TO A CHILD MALASTING JUDAS.. poor child
Catholics.
@@shandracrews8238 It was the late 1990s. Nobody was doing that at that point. Even most Catholics. Were they religious fanatics? If you actually listen to her story her kid's father was about 30. Kinda gross. She also stated that he was abusive to her.
This raises the topical subject of abortion...
Being forced to marry an older man who got her pregnant at 16 years old, her ability to make decisions in her life was taken from her. I feel like she continues to make bad decisions because that is HER way of controlling her life. I really hope her saying her life out loud will give her the drive to start trying to forgive herself and reconnect with her kids and family. I have hope for her. ❤️
She was pregnant at 15 and gave birth a week into her 16th birthday. That really stood out for me.
I completely agree with you. I think it was a very poor decision on her parents' part to make her marry at that young age, and that's why she ended up having two children by the age of 17. Then, she had three kids by 19. That's a lot of responsibility for anyone, and it's no wonder that she just wanted to run away and escape from all of that at such a young age. The death of her mother (who helped her raise her children) was a devastating blow.
this will now be a common story with our countries cruel decision to deny federal abortion/medical care rights
Married at 15 and delivered her first baby a few days after her 16th birthday and had 2 children by the age of 17. Husband was also a lot older.
In a way I understand. They probably thought they were securing her future and her kids future. You're not going to knock up my daughter at 15 and then disappear.
Sarah's pain, isolation, fear and loneliness are so real. Her suffering is the plight of someone who has been abused and self-medicates as a result. Her ability to compartmentalize and dissociate is a symptom of abuse. She is a victim. I pray she finds the courage to get treatment, to forgive herself. She deserves every happiness❤
Yes❤️
If I calculated it right, she had 3 kids by 20. I believe her mothers death, an abusive relationship, and stresses of motherhood overwhelmed her. She ran to escape. Sometimes that can be the only way to save yourself. I hate that the children suffered and I can’t imagine their pain. I hope she can find her way back to good health and good standing with her family.
@@domino1842 Just IMHO, but a little harsh there, don't ya think? She didn't leave them with some stranger or sold them or beat them or started them on drugs or abandoned them on the streets...she just left them with their dads who loved them and didn't tell the 3rd one about the 1st 2. Oh my...such "abuse"!
@@bettywith2girls Yeah people with deep issues like to sit on TH-cam all day, judging others. Says a lot about what kind of life they lead...
@@domino1842 get help
@@bettywith2girls yeah, it’s pretty shitty. She wasn’t in drugs, she didn’t want to be a mom
@@bettywith2girls Stop trying to minimise her actions just to win Internet arguments
I respect that shes been brutally honest. Its not for us to judge her. At least she is taking responsibility and not making excuses like most people.
Its hard to look at yourself and expose all of your flaws, and secrets to the world.
Taking responsibility would be resolving the damage she has done to those around her.
@@BulkernatorKerb that doesn't happen overnight. She probably needs to get clean first. Every one has there own process.
Please don't take this as an attack on your comment.
Drugs are different today. They are super strong, very dangerous and very hard to get off. I couldn't imagine being in my hay day with the shit out there today. I thought heroin was bad enough.
Best of luck.
I pray Sara gets help. She a good person that needs treatment. Mental health. Your worth everything Sara. We see you. Get help. Please. You are worth it. You are worth it !
@@incominghitdadirt9587 not to mention her these days things are almost exponentially more difficult. Jobs aren't as stable as they once were and that has cascading effects. Raising kids isn't as easy, and there are multiple aspects of that with cascading effects... the list goes on. There is no method to turn things around instantaneously.. it's definitely one step at a time. Even 8f she backsides, she is doing enlightenment level work right now. The thinks that happened that weren't her fault... mom and dad dying... are enough to break a person. But reflecting on, and correcting the things that were "of her own making" ... that's like swimming a lava river.
I would argue that her getting pregnant at 15 isn't necessarily her fault or "wrong". And I would also argue that the word courageous is very applicable here.
It makes me think that guilt has a duel nature. On one hand it drops into soul right through your flesh but on the other hand... it may be a driving force. Bizzarroh!
Pray for her. Prayers go up.... blessings come down.
Alcohol... still arguably the most dangerous drug and the hardest to quit. Other drugs are getting closer though.
@@elizabethmgotschall34 the concept of knowing someone's experiences from conception until the present and the fact that another person would have made all of the same exact choices in the same way, is what I've tried to use to help people that have a difficult time dealing with infidelity. In short. If you were them, and they were you, you would have done the same thing. I don't know how much it helps, and I think it's something that should be reiterated over time for it to have a chance to sink in and make sense to the broken hearted. But thanks for taking the time to articulate it so well. You're a beautiful person.
She seems like the saddest woman in the world. My heart goes out to her. I’m praying for you Sara.
Praying good for nothing
Respectfully, Boy are you lost@@summerforever6736
@@summerforever6736lord Jesus christ son of God have mercy on me a sinner
Guilt is literally killing this woman. Let it go Sara, life is too short.
You don't let TRAUMA "go" that stays with you for the rest of your life,literally. You can manage it but it stays there forever. Trauma literally changes the way the mind thinks and physically even changes the brain. 👍 Life being "too short" has NOTHING to do with some of the pain,suffering and shit people are going through.
She needs a good counselor..actually someone who would take her under their wing and help her unconditionally. Does anyone like that even exist??
@@anitaostrander4301 there are people who need such care, and people who crave to provide it to fulfill their own purpose this way… It would be so wonderful if such people found each other more often and harmoniously overgrew their particular pains and fixations together
@@onemorestepvlogs5937 💕
Yes. And the grief. You can see just this planet of grief hanging on her neck and she's drowning in tears. Please get some help with the grief and start looking for your song of strength. You survived so many hard things! You deserve to feel good about yourself and to begin to fix the problems today...right now. You can't change the past, but you don't have to let it drown you.
She seems like a pretty textbook case of arrested development. She was groomed, impregnated, and forced to marry at 15, and her emotional maturing stopped there. I hope she can find a really good counselor and just commit herself to doing what that person says for awhile. There is all kinds of potential for her!!!!
THIS.💯
I agree. This would be a great direction for her to start putting the pieces of her life back together and to understanding where things ran off the tracks.
I wish her all the best and if she sticks with good counsel, she's got a good chance of success ❤
I agree with you but at the same time I was capable of making and did make better decisions than this person when I was 15. I have a really hard time believing anything coming out of her mouth for some reason as well, which considering the horrible shit she is saying I wonder how truly awful the truth is. I am picturing babies in dumpsters kind of behavior.
@@Morgan-cn5fk addicts do all types of bad stuff.
@@Morgan-cn5fk And you made better choices at 15 with parents who forced you to marry a child predator who impregnated you?
Imagine the upbringing she had to have had with parents who would think that was the right thing...and she thinks they were great.
And you read 'liar', here? This is so honest. Everything. Every line screams honesty. She's admitting everything and taking full accountability for it- she is owning it all, even the sexual abuse she experienced which was not her fault- Fuck, she admits she's scared of authority and the guy was TWICE her age- growing up in a strict, religious home, elders are authority.
But yeah, way to go, you're TOTALLY better than her. Me too, you're 100% better than me, too. 👍
Dear Sara, my heart goes out for you. your sadness made me also want to cry. Be sure, you are not the only one that feels alone.
We care for you too from afar.
Love
I knew Sarah and we were friends through middle and high school. We both had babies as teens. I've wondered what happened to you over the years, Sarah. I hope that you make it through this rough time in your life, Sarah. I'm definitely rooting for you. Xoxo
Laura
Social media is a good way to get back in touch.
Sarah is so sad and full of guilt and regret. But she is a drug addict. So, first thing is for her health she needs to get rehab and some mental therapy. Then, maybe she can start to build bridges with her children and move forward. It’s never too late. I wish her well.
This comment made me so happy and sad all at the same time. I hope u both find happiness
I think it would mean a lot to her if you reached out to her! It’s not a coincidence that you saw this video! You might be an Angel sent by Jesus to help her in some way ❤️🙏
I wish someone would help her. Saddest story.
This is probably one of the most honest interviews I've seen.
Honest.. also grounded
She lied about 75%. This is how she gets help from people
@@hannahstephenson5749 darn 😢. I'm sorry...
@@sukifriend she is very good at manipulating people.
@@sukifriend do you know her personally?
Sara’s story reminds me how complex human nature is. As humans we are deeply flawed but that does not mean our hearts are not good. There is a constant duality in this life. Life is a beautiful fucked up paradox. Grateful for her story & perspective.
You can tell she needed to tell that story for a long time....I hope this saves her life.
Saying those words out loud is terrifying. And it's the first step to healing.
@@aaralynloop5433Being a part of that process is what I'm talkin about. Just being a listener is totally cool ~
that was deep! i found myself vacillating between judging her and being broken-hearted for her. i am proud of her for telling her truth, and i hope she starts to do that more often.
Just to let you know, "vacillating" is the best word I've heard in awhile lol. Not to make light of her. Ima listen to it now. ❤️
I felt the same. It was hard not to feel sympathetic toward her with how she bears the responsibility for her actions. I see so many of these interviews with moms who gave up their kids and act like it's totally not their fault or doing. Sara's story was the same but because of her attitude and guilt she carries - man, it really hit harder.
Im curious what made you judge her. I’m not judging you for judging. I’m just curious ☀️
So they didn’t stay purely out of spite like eye for an eye That is even worse than you leaving. Godbless you and god help your kids to think differently because that is wrong.
@@alexaf2744 i was judging her for leaving her kids. i had to immediately check myself and remember i was not in her shoes and who knows if i might have done the same thing given the circumstance
She could literally turn her life around. Still be beautiful. Get a diagnosis. Get treated. Rebuild relationships with her kids. Stay focused. Have a beautiful life.
If she would focus on gratitude, she could change. Start with being grateful for the sunshine, the flowers, the beauty in life. Be willing to get better and be grateful for that willingness to change. There IS hope Sarah!!!! ❤🙏 Go get it girl. Start with inpatient treatment!!! People online will help you!
❤❤ exactly. That’s what I did and now 5 yrs later I am still clean
Literally
Easy to say and appropriate info.Most people,however, need help from someone and therein lies the problem.🙏🏻
Grief. The loss of mom then kids then dad. Grief is huge to deal with. Grieving is hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sorry to say but if you were drinking during your sons entire life, I can assure you his childhood was not beautiful. I can tell you this as the child of a (fairly moderate and well functioning) alcoholic.
Right? My ex husband is a functioning alcoholic. I took my kids and left.
100%
Absolutely. Definitely appears to be looking at that part of her life through rose tinted glasses
drinking a gallon of vodka....jfc
So called functioning alcoholics are the worst., never own their actions.
Being 15 and "dating" a much older man is abuse. Then, compounding that by having your freedom and independence taken away by being forced by adults in the family to marry him, which allowed him to continue abusing her. She said she couldn't think of where it went wrong. I'm no expert, but I think that is the catalyst of what went wrong. The trauma was deep before she was even an adult, despite the upper class lifestyle of her childhood. She had adult responsibilities and problems as a child before her mind was old enough to handle it.
I was abandoned before birth by a parent who I'm sure had his own trauma and reasons. I'm not saying this as an excuse but as a deeper explanation other than just seemingly random "bad decisions."
She said she thinks no one would notice if she went missing. I think she's had that opinion of herself for a long time and that's possibly the belief that led her to leave her kids, along with a desire for the freedom she had taken from her at 15. It sounds like she never realized her innate self worth, substituted it for a while by taking care of her parents. If your worth is being a caregiver to or impressing your parents and they go away, what are you left with?
I hope she realizes how much self worth she has and how much worth she had to her kids from birth. I think getting clean(if she wants), stable, and building self esteem/self love and recognizing her trauma through therapy is important before trying to mend things with wounded adult children. I think if she works on herself, her kids will see that and maybe one day be ready to build a relationship with their bio mom. If they're not ever willing(which is their right), the work she does on herself will still help her cope and live her own best life.
Again, I'm no expert. This is not professional advice, just my early morning thoughts as I watch the video and hear her story. I hope she does connect with a professional who is a good fit for her and can help her.
I agree 100% I was thinking the same. What a controlling environment she grew up in 💔🥺
100000000%!!!
She never said her first husbands age. Assuming he was much older helps keep her the and feel sorry for me story alive.
@@beabeauchamp956 She said she was 15 and he was 30.
@@beabeauchamp956 She said "my friend's older brother" 0:46 and "he was a lot older than I was" 1:16 and she said later "he was almost 30 when I was 15." 15:45
This one hits a nerve with me because I see slivers of my own mother in Sara. My sympathies lie with her children. She speaks of her trauma, of which she has been through plenty, but her kids have paid a bigger price because of it. And then to think she has a chance to actually meet up with one of them then chose to go and meet a man instead says it all about where her heart truly lies.
She has lived only by fear.
Not really feeling much empathy with this lady if I`m honest, she made horrible decisions regarding her children.
I know. Her poor kids :(
@jasonbrindley3376 did u not hear what happened to her at 15?? What does a child know about life. I blame the 30 yr old for molesting her. Also her parents for forcing her to marry that guy. That's where her life took a horrible turn
I agree with this. I see my mother in her as well and its never been about how her choices made me feel, she just wanted me to just understand why she di it and forgive. I cannot.
As sad as it is, that was actually a good story, and now that she said it out loud she can find the strength to make changes and move forward in a positive direction. She is not making excuses, but telling her truth. Much respect to you Sara. I wish you the best. ❤❤❤
Bullshit,she'll move forward alright like a plague of locust causing grief everywhere she lands.
@@richardsanjose3692 😂😂man u r so optimistic. Humanity goes around, destroying this planet and each other, so how are we any better than her?
@@junglegirl5174 well said
Amen
Shes amazing
The pain so very evident in this woman’s eyes is what drew me in, made me click to hear her story. She was molested by her children’s father and then married off to him. Trauma then more trauma and MORE trauma! She is not the only one.
She slept with him and they made them marry
@@tyrellanderson4722 she was 15 - he was 30
@@tyrellanderson4722 SHE WAS A CHILD....30yr old men don't sleep with 15yr old children IT'S CALLED MOLESTATION
@@mickidraven5117 oh didn't catch that
I think that's where her train wreck began. What was wrong with her parents!!??
This one had me riveted. I could not take my eyes off it. She bought me to tears. So natural and articulated her story superbly. I wish Sara all the love and strength
Brought . Drama queen
How could she possibly know who she was? She was still a child with two children, and she wasn’t able to figure out who she was or what she really wanted from her life. I feel awful for her, worse for her children. I hope someone can give her the time, counseling, treatment she needs so desperately.
Yes, exactly... poor woman crying for help and a big hug!
Yes Denise I totally agree with you .some comments are way too harsh and judgemental
She was doing all right until her mom died.
Poor thing. Had parents who helped her while she went to school and worked, had supportive parents. Had a change to reunite with her daughter just weeks ago, but decided to screw that up and take off and meet some guy. Double abandonment for her daughter who she left as though she was dead!!
No sympathy here. Billions of young girls have children and don’t abandom them!!
@@Siliconegirl146 agreed.
When a man shares that he left his kids he isn’t questioned as to how something like that could happen.
Men leaving their kids is just as damaging as moms leaving.
Because we are women, we grow kids inside our bodies, we bond with them differently than men/fathers and we don’t just run away to have a nice life with some guy. And just Abandone them like garbage.
@@ellairmetzler5913
Are you sure only women can feel that with their children?
Bullshit anyone who abandons their child man or woman is garbage
@@ellairmetzler5913 this bitch did didn't she?
I am living proof of this
Lot more honest than a lot of the people we see here
I think her biggest problem is that she’s lost herself by making some bad decisions, like she said. But she needs help first of all to deal with her addictions. Because every time she feels lost, she realize it, but she turns to alcohol and now it’s meth! So she has to get help from that meth. And she needs to do it in a hurry, because she’s not able to get high with meth anymore, and before long, someone is going to introduce her to fentanyl to mix with meth, which will definitely take her out.😢. It’s a killer, but everybody wants it!
Totally agree . This woman is broken mentally and spiritually.
She can be honest with the camera but she has never been honest with herself obviously.
Whatever judgement anyone can give her, she shared her story honestly and that's more than I can say for most people
@Tommy Ealey seemingly honest
Is it honesty? How do we know?
Wasn’t honest
Her poor kids. I can’t imagine how they coped with their mom just dropping them off and never returning. This one is super sad
You have no idea….
@@taylormarie3736 I'm really sorry that happened to you, I couldn't even imagine the trauma. I hope you are doing well in your life ❤
@@aaaeycyI am ♥️
Yes indeed poor kiddos we're glad their doing ok....but honestly shes broken she needs love and tons of help ❤ Best wishes to all of them
My mother ended up abandoning me at 2yrs old...you can't imagine what it does to you...I have a story most would never believe : (
20 year ago when I got clean, I was still "on drugs". The chemicals may have left my body, but I was still in that mindset. I had to tell my story. Had to get it out, show my weakness, and be honest. Only then did I start to heal, make amends, and move on. This can be her 1st step towards a better life, or the last confession, before all hope dies. I hope she uses this to fuel the fire. To surprise herself, and her family. Please let this be the beginning of a new life.
Me too Matt! I used for over 20 years & most of that time I hid my addiction from everyone. Only I the last few years of my struggle did I hit rock bottom- I had to be honest, ask for help & work my ass off yo stay clean - 4 years now & surrendering is the best option & I hope Sara can do the same - she has a good heart & deserves a second chance at a life with her family ❤
@andreaeady8000 This made my day! We are the few. I hope this poor girl makes it too.
People will judge but her pain is real, even if part of it is self-inflicted. I wish you will find some kind of peace Sarah.
Heavy video huh.
People will judge? Didn’t you just judge them? This whole judging nonsense is complete garbage. Go live in the streets and don’t judge anybody and see how long you last
I've had the pain of my brother having stage four cancer as a child, and the pain by self-inflicted means, and they will both make you feel just as sick and hollow. (thankfully there are silver linings, like my brother being healthy now, or this woman realizing her true path.)
Life is hard and I hope and pray she can find peace . My heart goes out to her
I think people tend to forget that self inflicted pain is always a product of an underlying problem or mental pain that is already there. Someone who is fine doesnt suddenly turn to self destructive behaviour for no reason. Its an expression of something already inside. Thats why i never judge people who hurt themselves
Dear Sara, I have so much compassion for you. I understand the desperation that can drive us to do these seemingly incomprehensible things. The most important thing is to find a way to get clean and sober. 12 step programs can be extremely helpful with this as they provide support and a structured way to work through these issues. A peaceful, meaningful life for you is possible. Sending you much love and support.
It's refreshing to hear someone comment with kind words for this woman. You seem very empathetic. Concerning the 12 step programs. They don't always work. Most people in chronic physical addiction to a substance need medical intervention supervised by a professional. Merely talking about your struggle with other people in similar situations isn't enough. Also, they typically have a religious affiliation, and if you don't happen to be a person of faith, you feel excluded. What we need are more doctors and therapists who are able to work with addicts who don't have medical insurance or funding for rehab. Most drug dependent people need help tapering off of the substance they are addicted to. They may need specific medication to control withdrawal symptoms. An hour long meeting in a church basement once a week just isn't going to help most people.
You are so right with every single word you wrote ‼️
They really need much, much more attention and help , than they get now,....
Honestly I saw 90 % from Mark‘s Interviews and it’s like most of them shares almost the same childhood traumas !! What I can’t understand is , why there are so many people ?????
But for example: Sara had a good childhood and did her own stuff but for any kind of reasons, it wasn’t what she wanted or what she needed.
The most important for her is to FIND HERSELF again but it won’t work, out on the dangerous streets; alone and lonely 😩 !!!
SARA, God bless you and he Loves you, please don’t forget it.
I KNOW FOR SURE THAT YOUR TIME WILL COME to fight against your own demons AND YOU WILL WIN this fight, I know it ‼️
I’ll pray for you and I know that God is listening 👂!!!
You think NOBODY LOVES YOU but that’s not true !!!!!
I don’t know you and you don’t know me
BUT
I LOVE YOU and that’s no lie ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
Greets, Hugs and Love 4 you SARA , don‘t forget that you are a wonderful, pretty and strong Lady ‼️
I BELIEVE IN YOU
Greets from AUSTRIA 🇦🇹,
Europe ;
👋 Michaela 👋
❤️☮️🍀👌🥰👍🏽💋♾
@@RowanWarren78 12 step programs aren’t against MAT. They have no opinion on outside issues (as a group). I’m in a 12 step program, I’m not religious, but I am spiritual. I agree with you 100% on the medical care side of it though. Its extremely hard to get mental health and substance abuse help. Medical care is a human right.
@@RowanWarren78 Dear Rowan, you are correct about the medical help often needed, and how hard it can be to get. I like to recommend simple first actions, and 12 steps programs are plentiful, easily accessible, with plenty of different meeting options which makes it possible to find the ones that feel right to you. Thanks for adding nuance to the conversation.
My heart goes out to Sara.I was once like her, I have 28 years clean and sober.Prison saved my life.....
Has Sara ever had any real help? Is she open to counseling? She deserves some solid help, and some hope for the future. With help, she could piece her life together.
@#PrisonForJohnnyDepp Rhianna use to be Kool now she's Bama
@#PrisonForJohnnyDepp Rhianna use to be Kool now she's Bama
Sarah has to want help, she has to get tired of being sick and tired. There's no way to help her unless she wants to be HELPED. She has to want to leave the drugs alone.
Sadly, Sarah has had help...several times. She has to want to stay clean. TBH most of this story is BS. I love Sarah like a sister and I pray every night she hits rock bottom and reaches out before it's too late.
I've been scramble like her lots of times get to NA and surrender
She reminds me of my mother . She had two kids in Long Beach that I didn’t hear about until I was well into my 20’s . She met my father and had myself and my sister . We knew nothing until she passed in 2020 … she used drugs… she drank but she was a good mom when she was a mom. I always feared she would leave us and never knew why I felt that. We all live this life the best we can…. We can’t spend time judging eachother cause we come from different backgrounds. Different experiences. No one walks the same walk…
The fact that you're not angry says alot about you as a person. I'm very impressed. Best wishes.
God bless you
God bless you and I love that it seems that you forgave your mother and found some normalcy and love in your life.
It’s interesting to hear how similar her & my mother sound when she said she’s afraid of dying alone. My mom left us on & off our entire childhood & chose to live her life for herself. That has caused my 2 brothers to completely shut her out. I’m 26 now & I have boundaries w her. She uses the “my kids never call, they wouldn’t care if I died, my kids treat me like I don’t exist”. I understand her pain but I don’t think she completely understands ours.
thanks for sharing this! I empathize a ton. My mom didn't "leave" per say but my dad got custody when I was 12 bc of her alcoholism and abuse. Dad was also abusive but different. We've had family therapy sessions, my mom, older brother and I, where we try to tell her hey we love you and you just never believe us.
She, and I, have borderline PD, and I'd like to think some of that behavior comes from that (thinking wow that's just my mom would be too much to process), the low self esteem, changing perception of self, lack of identity, "acting out", unstable relationships, etc. I'm medicated and sober now for 5 years (im 28), we can work on this stuff so it's hard to see mom struggling with it. It gets so frustrating when they are so busy "punishing" themselves that you can't get mad at them. SENDING HUGS.
That is a real heartbreaker man. Probably the saddest one you've ever done. Please stay in touch with her.
I almost never comment on videos but this one spoke so deeply to me. Sara is so raw and genuine through this whole interview and you can tell. Not only through her body language but the pain and desperation in her eyes and the calmness in her voice. I really hope she finds the support system and help that she needs to get back on her feet ❤ Something tells me she will. Good luck Sara, we're rooting for you.
My heart goes out to you Sara. It’s impossible not to see how much your children mean to you and how broken you are. You’ll be in my prayers.
She left them for 13 years. Pray for them.
I can only respect her for her honesty. Who am I to judge? I've made bad choices and mistakes myself. I sincerely wish her all the best x
Mark, without question Sara was the most powerful heartbreaking interview you've done so far and I've seen them all. Thank you Sara sending love healing and peace.❤
Everyone doesn’t need to be abuse and molestation victims to have it rough as an adult. There are other powerful factors like decisions being made for you and lack of support. Most can deal, but Sara seemed a bit of a narcissist and that’s tough on skid row!
@@more1091 Being a narcissist is tough not only on Skid Row, also any spouses/partners in particular. They can be very demanding to deal with & so far, there's no known treatment for the disorder. I feel for Sara, I really do, but there's a missing piece of the puzzle here. It's obvious she was successful at some not too distant time in her life. Yet I will not judge her, as many of us have skeletons in the closet.😒
I would like to meet her, but live on the East Coast & she in LA. Too far for a disabled man to drive & potentially dangerous too. Like, how in in sea of homeless folks, how would anyone find her?
When she said "I've never actually been Sara I heavily resonated with her, I feel such a connection to her struggle, the self sabotage and the playing a part I've never turned to drugs but I've done a lot of crazy stuff in search of myself. Hope she gets the strength to find herself and stop playing parts. Praying for you Sara ♥
Borderline can be helped
Sara is just a name. Your a real mom, you gave them life from your body, how amazing are you. No greater love than love as a mom,and no greater love than love of your child. You can make it, you have to believe in yourself, your an amazing human being. You have love waiting for you.
@@venessamaxwell8105that isn’t borderline you’re so fcking uneducated
My whole life I've been saying silent prayer's for people who i never met but knew existed. And this channel has introduced me to exactly who they were aimed at. And I continue to pray, but now I see the faces in my head of the people who there intended for.
I love this. 💕
💜🙏🏻💜
Thank you for praying for people ❤
Wow 😲 Mike that's deep😔🙏
this was beautiful
One of the most powerful installments. An intelligent and self-aware human being extremely honest. I have a lot of empathy for her.
Yeah but she’s not honest with her family or her husbands, she even says it.
@@RiggyRonnie Oh please, so what, yeah she has not been honest at some point, she admitted it, her whole interview is an admission of guilt, are you going to judge her and lock her out of our empathy and understanding? Come the fuck on. There is no need to cast stones on this channel on these vulnerable interviewees, please; we are all the same deep down, HUMAN and flawed.
@@ArdentePatience why such hostility towards a person making a truthful statement? It's a factual statement, and not a judgmental one. The original comment made a judgmental statement that did not match up with the content in the video, so of course someone corrects that person. At least they were nice about it.
@@aliciamari85 No it is not.a factual comment. The facts are she is honest and especially about not having been honest. Period. And that is what the original comment of this thread states.
@@ArdentePatience this comment and your main one are so HARSH. I love that you tell people not to judge yet you judge others for judging her. Talk about hypocrisy. Your comments are triggering as hell and as Sara said she’s scared of yelling and everything else however you feel it’s right to leave comments with such vile and crude wording. I don’t know why you feel it’s your place to speak to people like this that you don’t know in a TH-cam comment section but it’s not healthy or helpful.
She still has her brain, her body isn't wrecked, she simply has to get clean. Very much easier said than done, but if she doesn't get clean, in a few years she WILL be one of those wraiths you see on the street. There's still a chance for this woman. Get clean, get an apartment, get a job, every day one at a time, focus on what you can control, EXERCISE daily, read daily, and get locked into that pattern. If she's clean, there's also hope she can rekindle relationships with her kids. She has a future, she has things to look forward to (e.g., grandkids), she is not a lost cause by any means. I hope she can do it...
She still has her brain but she has lost her mind.
Weird thing is I thought if you were mad you wouldn't know it, but she does.
I think we all keep two sets of books to some extent, but her feats of self deception (and deception of others) are next-level.
Getting clean will be a good first step, but there's all the 'compartmentalisation' as she calls it, to explore.
She'll never be happy whilst she treats others the way she has - I hope she finds some help to get to the bottom of that, because it's as least as important as getting clean if she wants to cultivate some sort of relationship with her siblings and children again.
@@K1lostream It all takes time. From the moment you stop doing the drugs.....every day you put between that day makes things a little better. Life can be completely turned around. Might never be what you once hoped for but it certainly can be a new and different one that can also be a very happy one. I know, I did exactly that! I thank the good Lord every day!
@@K1lostream Pretty deep but not altogether true imao. Something has caused her to run from every relationship. Yes, she's self-centered and selfish but that is repairable. AA/NA are her place to find her Self. Church's are good but they aren't equipped to handle the practicing alcoholic/drug addict. Getting clean and staying clean are the first step.
I have watched all episodes, yet, for me this is the deepest, saddest story, ever. I truly feel for this lady, and I respect her honesty. You can tell how much pain and shame she carries. They say, do not blame circumstances, or others, for what happens to you, but I believe that in her life, many things and people were just very unfair. Leaving her kids with their father, is not like leaving them with strangers. They grew up in a caring home, it seems.I do wish her the best, from the bottom of my heart.
Where you from
I agree. She touched my heart too.
She actually reminded me of myself quite a bit. I finally got my ish together.. I pray the same happens for her. ❣️
Szilvia Puhl,I agree, how much grief can one person bare?this is what happens when children are having children,this interviewer needs to walk a mile in her shoes,she was abused by an older man who was a paedophile.
Agreed ,this one got to me ,tragic
A caring home? He was a known pedophile.
There’s something so childlike about Sarah’s need to be seen. I wish she talked more about her childhood. There’s a lot of hidden pain she glossed over.
If anyone needs therapy, it's this lady. She needs to be in a long-term program surrounded by people who care about her.
Wow, that's a lot of guilt. Coming on here and 'confessing' to the world this gigantic burden of shame she carries around - seems like a really good start. She seems very lucid, and certainly remorseful about how things have turned out. I hope that she can reconnect and seek forgiveness from the people she used to be close to. I hope this has been cathartic for her. "today is the first day of the rest of your life"
Beautiful comment 🙏
Bless her broken heart. The pain of guilt is written all over her face. Such an honest and Frank disclosure - only wish it had been with a therapist (no offence to the lovely man listening). Good luck sweetheart we all want you to carry on and find peace and most of all, forgive yourself❤
It’s not to late for her. She should go to rehab/therapy. She would be an amazing social worker! I wonder if she’s ever tried antidepressants. It could change her life. I pray her family will forgive her someday. Bless you beautiful Sara.
Yes I would love a follow up
Your parents “having” you get married at 15 because you get pregnant as a catholic is not a good childhood. There’s likely more going on there she just breezed through
I think the problems started with Jacob and meth at 19, you can clearly see everything go downhill fast from there, meth is the problem, it is a savage it is ruthless.
@@napster2650 problem started when she was tossed into adult life as a teen. she never grew up properly, never learn healthy coping mechanisms or get to make mistakes without huge responsibility (husbands would be just boyfriends, without kids in the picture). she was still learning to function alone - this was the beginning
What do you know? Scumbag POS! I hope God Curses You and your household BOY! In Jesus Holy Name!
She was raped. She said the father of her kids was closer to 30 at the time.
@@dead_nn5293 wtf are you talking about?? She was 19! That’s everything but not a child. Millions of mother’s got there children with 19-18-17 and did great. The issue is addiction and drugs! Family values can protect from drugs and a bad lifestyle. It’s no guarantee whatsoever, but it’s a good foundation.
I really feel sorry for this lady. She seems like she has been through so much, it's no wonder she seems so lost and alone. I really wish her well.
She is the first one I've ever watched and genuinely understood and connected with. No BS she just put it all out there. I feel like I know exactly who she is. Because I am her. I didn't make the same choices thankfully. But I feel that same feeling of just not belonging anywhere. Not deserving. My head knows better but there's always something making you feel different. I will pray for you to find the support and guidance to make better choices and for you to finally love yourself. Because the person I just watched is totally deserving and worthy with so much to offer.
❤
this video made me tear up and then this comment made me tear up. this is so kind.
@@jacyjohnson5476 Thank you. Same here, I cried through a lot of this one. I don't usually comment much because I don't feel anything genuine from most of these. But she touched me. No excuses just genuine.
@@DitzyDorisAnnDoris, your comment resonated , accurately. This one was so poignant. I ddnt expect such relatability. Jarring. I ddnt even realize I was crying until near the end. So many periods ,where I'd thought I'd "figured it/myself out" ,or 'my place' to get back to "what /who/where"?. Gratitude helps nudge my attitude.
"Ms.So.much.potential",distinctive disappointment -if referenced by family of few. Shame and regret follow even with strides. I don't deny my cowardice , panicked impulses, and foolish hope. Never motivated by malice . Though the acts & story differ- similar in manner and sort.
✩For what it's worth- hoping for you: Patience, faith , and love for self.And further, acknowledged recognition and empathy ♡(>o
Doris, I relate to both of you 100 percent. Sarah has been the first interview of marks I've seen, of hundreds of interviews, where I felt like I saw the closest to my story mentally, how I felt as far as loneliness and being completely uncared for, lonely and completely devastated with nothing to look forward to, nobody to love and trying to make everyone happy around me but myself. God bless you Sarah I am rooting for you and I wish you had a way to get in contact with you because I have years clean now and I never could put together two days for almost three decades and I see a huge success story in you. You deserve to be happy no matter what you've done, every human being does. Listen to nothing of what they say and EVERYTHING of what they do when it comes to some of these scoundrels on the streets and in the world of drugs. When you finally get tired of being sick and tired, find your way to rehab and a 12-step program and you will be grateful 🥲 and is he goes by you can choose to stay sober one day at a time. Your children love and miss you as much as you do them and you'd be surprised it how much children will forgive just to have the opportunity to be with you. I know I would have had I been given the opportunity but that is not the case. Stay strong, keep your head up and do not let fear drive your life anymore. Do not be afraid to ask your help because nobody and I mean nobody can do this alone and you don't have to.
Self sabotage, self hatred.. It sinks in your soul and is so hard to fight. I feel for her.
Imagine being a drug addict and not being able to get high anymore ….. that’s a fate worst than death
So she abandoned her two eldest children, who probably now have a huge amount of issues from their Mother just disappearing. This stuff has effects on everyone involved.
She was married off at 15. She's had to play a role her whole life. I see a good person who was dealt a really tough hand. Good luck Sara! I think you're pretty cool. Hope you find a version of yourself that you're happy with and that feels real and sincere.
She was dealt a GREAT hand. Her poor choices are what lead to her current situation. Then she ABANDONED her kids. Straight up degenerate. Straight up trash. What type of mother does that. She sure could spread her legs and enjoy herself but couldn’t deal with the results.
100%
her father was a doctor, her mother a nurse. her parents helped her raise her kids while she went to school. she went to private catholic school. she WASN'T dealt a bad hand- she screwed up.
This! Now, the other lady that was a tragic story, because she really was dealt crap time after time. This lady I do not have sympathy for the things that made her life goes sideways were choices she made from the beginning, and then the other bad things that happened were things that happen to anybody and everybody in life like losing parents.. the fact that she just up and left her kids know I’m sorry I don’t have sympathy for her. I could never in 1 million years do that to my son.
whoa. your last sentence honestly hit a heart string. More of us need to be empathetic like that. Thank you.
Ohhhhhh SNAP! I was judging her UNTIL the EXPLANATION! “Their Dad was THIRTY when (she) was 15” That’s child abuse.. She’s damaged.
I feel bad for this person! She's very honest and genuine. I hope she finds a way to forgive herself and recovers from all pain.
I could feel her pain too but honest and genuine? I don't see or feel that. What struck me was when she said she had to be the center of attention. I would imagine she would use having sex if she didn't get the attention she craved and probably still craves.
I see a combination of mental illness, obsession, narcissism, addictions and just plain lack of caring for herself and others. I hope she gets back to her church and God and goes to an extended rehab. She looks like she was a beautiful woman before the drugs and drinks.
I wish for the best honest journey and outcome for Sara.
Peace be with all.
@Ethan Olive aknowledging your mistakes is being honest yes
@Ethan Olive Wrong dude! She was being very honest. Do you think she made all that up?
@@SisterShirley You are very inciteful. Good analysis 👍. But we just disagree . I see a great deal of pain and regret. Hard to fake it. Peace ✌️
Ur an idiot falling for her poor me crap when she's gone through her life destroying everyone around her then moving on to greener pastures to do it all over. I feel sorry for the vast wake of her victims not her and that should be ur focus to not her bullshit designed to illicit sympathy for herself. If she really felt anything for anyone else shed cowboy up and work it as they tell u in these 12 stepper programs.Shes like a hand grenade at a wedding s being the shrapnel all over the room and causing grief to all she encounters. I envy everyone she's never met
She absolutely needs to hear that she can change things. Her trauma tore her up and she had a psychotic break. She was a child when she became a mother. My heart goes out to her children.
Would be amazing for her to be counselled by the incredible Gabor Mate.
I really hope she has gotten the help she needs. It’s truly heartbreaking how far addiction can take you.
This one hurt, being a Reno/Tahoe local, a mother, and a meth addict in recovery my heart hurts for her. Recovery is possible but you have to want it dearest Sara. Religion is not how I got out of the mess I created, Accountability and hard work and support is the only way I got out.
Proud of you! She is going to have a really hard time with the accountability thing until she gets a firmer grasp on being honest. I think she might even believe the lies she is spewing.
@@Morgan-cn5fk I agree. It’s hard when still using. I could justify and back up the terrible things I was doing because the drugs convinced me it was okay. Really a sad cycle. Meth is sooo evil. I hope she finds recovery and peace. It’s really a great life out here once you get clean.
This 👌
Yessss
I was just thinking the same thing. Her interview felt like her first cathartic share. She would thrive in NA. If she dug in and found the right sponsor oh man she would be a force for recovery.
I hope her kids can forgive her one day. I'm so sorry Sara, I hope you will get better and stop running away from things
My mom did pretty much the same thing to my siblings and I. I’ve resented her my whole life and didn’t cry when she died. I felt relieved.
I feel sorry for her kids
@@amandavanwyck3645 and here she's suffering for it. I'm not excusing abandoning her children, but she's also a deeply broken individual who had a lot to deal with including a forced marriage to an abusive man. She deserves peace just like her children do. I'm sorry you had to go through that
If they did she would just hurt them again...
Best they manage their expectations and keep her at arms length. She can't stop doing what she does if she doesn't know why she does it.
@@cindylee7519 True, I hope she gets the help she needs and ends that cycle, for all involved.
Sara, thank you for sharing your truth. I found your interview captivating, raw and honest. You have a gift for speaking. Perhaps writing too. I hope you will reach out for the help you need and deserve. You have an audience here that cares about you. We want to see you do well. Blessings to you and your children.
This is the best Soft White Underbelly interview I've ever seen. I've seen dozens. The look of pain is so profound. Thank you, Mark. I think you've captured something seldom seen.
Yes. A true psychopath.
Man I must have seen 100 of your videos... this just broke me. I'm sitting here in such an introspective rabbit hole relating to the loneliness she is talking about. It's real out here. Damn Sara you are loved I hope shit gets better. I'd end this by saying imma go call X family member but I cant even do that...
i feel you
just do it
@@Mara.La888 what imma hold a seance? I said I cant because they are dead..... "just do it" just don't speak when you arent prompted to.
@@stoniefalcon7735 Just wanted to show support & encouragement, did not realise the family member is dead, I thought you could not do it due to some of your internal reasons
@@Mara.La888 I can see why you would say that my apology for the reaction. I did however reach out to a nephew who I thought wouldnt talk to me and we spoke until the sun came up so that In itself was very much worth it.
Getting impregnated by a older man and forced to marry is traumatizing for a girl of 15. She never developed a semse of self and seems to struggle with ever being accepted and sabatoging anything good...shes secretive to absolute detriment...poor gal...every lie and struggle shows on her face.
This is without a doubt one of the most heartbreaking interviews on this channel I sincerely hope she gets the help she very clearly needs and that her children will prehaps start to forgive her.
I agree I have watched many of these interviews but I found this so heartbreaking I pray she fines peace with herself
Why would they forgive her? She'd do it again in a heartbeat. She destroys her life and everyone in it, and doesn't know why, and even if she could do it all over again, she'd do the same thing.
As a Mom who is Neglected and Ignored by 4 grown children, I too Pray that Sara's children Will Forgive Her. That will help her heart to heal and help her to forgive herself. I know All too well how she Feels.
@@CATNAPREAL1188 Forgive her?? She intentionally left her children and never even said goodbye, and then said she'd do the same thing again!! My sisters and I couldn't stand the mommy dearest lady that gave birth to us and treated us like cheap furniture.
@@supermikeb thank you . I agree .
My heart breaks for this woman. I hope she gets help and finds some joy in her life.
You can feel the pain in her voice, hope she finds peace and happiness. 🙏
I love your style of interviewing these incredibly broken people. The way you respectfully get them to speak honestly and candidly without really pushing them too much is amazing. Thank you for all your hard work.
Yes, I Agree! You have a fascinating approach to this entire interviewing process.
To be Honest, I kind of think that the first man she married may have forced himself on her
("he was a lot older than me") she said.
That marriage was just a terrible way to cope with something unexpected and Aweful!
This story is too common and I'm just grateful that she had the opportunity and courage to share it....
The Trauma and Loss is Obvious!
Even if I only hear her side of the story,,,She speaks her Truth.
It's a psychological reaction to Acute Trauma.
She was a child with two children and she was a victim of domestic abuse, it’s understandable why she ran, she was obviously completely overwhelmed. It doesn’t seem like her parents gave her a chance to grow up by forcing her into marriage at 15. I feel so bad for her, I pray she can get help and forgive herself and that her children will forgive her as well
I feel like this stems from the pressure and trauma. of growing up having to look like your picture is always perfect. I understand this pressure. God Bless
When I watched this I seen my mother. For years I’ve held so much hate for my mom for being an addict and not being here for me… As ive grown older I’ve started the forgiveness process. I really started to understand that she was always just doing the best she could.
Beyond heartbreaking. Hoping the best for Sara.
Heart breaking for everyone!!
@@baublesanddolls no, for everyone involved.
thank you so much sara for sharing your story. i listened to the end and i'm in tears, there's still hope for you. this inspired me to talk to my dad.
The person on the lights and camera did a wonderful job. Great editing and sound. It takes a lot of guts for this woman to lay her life out for all to see.
Mark does it all himself. He is a one man show.
This guy must be living under a rock. Wth.
Wow, the way she describes how she feels disassociated from herself, lives in a fairy tale, has no goals and couldn't care less... Honestly sounds exactly like me for most of my life before I managed to get my depression under control by ending up on the right medication and dedicating myself to seeking and accepting help for alcoholism. What Sara needs is professional help for whatever she's been self-medicating all these years, and a 12 step program of some sort, where I think she could thrive with her already impressive amount of self awareness and willingness to be honest by any standard, much less for someone in active addiction. I hope she finds the peace she deserved to have when her youth was stolen by people that were supposed to care for and protect her.
I agree completely. She has a definite low self-esteem and depression problem; she needs to see a therapist and help to get off the drugs (if she's on any anymore). I think she's beating herself up w-a-y too much for what she did, which was leave her kids with their dad, and not tell the 3rd about the other 2. There's much worse stuff she could have done, IMHO, for God's sakes. One thing I do differ with you is I don't see how her youth was "stolen" by others who were suppose to care for and protect her...they did help her! When she got pregnant when she was only 15, she must have wanted to keep the baby and back then...well then, you got married. Yet, her parents still took care of her kids for her so she could finish high school (by her own admission). She even went to college for a while but by then her dad was out of the country and her mom got sick, so couldn't help. It's not her mom's fault she got sick and couldn't help...and yet this lady worked, went to school, took care of her 2 kids, and then spent every weekend being a relief for her dad in taking care of her mom (her choice) with I'm guessing her kids spending time with their grandpa (invaluable). Only when her mom died did the depression finally get the best of her. Seems to me that she had a whole bunch of family support and was very close to her parents, at least.
I could have written this comment myself! I said the same exact thing watching this. We're not alone or hopeless
Same here! No alcohol or hard drugs here but still self medicating with kratom and other herbs. I dissociated and couldn’t care less about anything either, I had no goals or plans. But now that I’m on the right meds I’m able to care a bit more
i hope she finds her way. she’s a smart woman and clearly wants you to get better. she just needs someone to believe in her
Sara seems like a person who can eventually find her way out of the drug use if the right help were available.
Unfortunately 99 % dont make it out from Meth . It is the highest drug that people take their own lives on. They dont get away from the demons they open themselves too. They make them take their own lives .
She has no goals and nothing to look forward to. @25:30
Actually drugs isnt problem, problem is using them to cover internal pain. Dont blame the tool. Blame the intension ;)
@@Zionplaysrivals Yep, that's another part of her tragedy is that she needs a support system but she can't fit in anywhere. And her past decisions have isolated her from her friends and peers. It's sad because she says a lot of her decisions are her fault, but life hit her so hard and fast that I find it hard to blame her that she reacted the way she did and ran from her responsibilities.
@@krzychoos6633 I agree with you. But this drug people dont come back from. They all land up taking their own lives.
The most interesting part of this interview? The comments. Never fails to amaze me how so many people can watch the exact same thing, yet see something so completely different. Humans eh! Utterly fascinating.
You took the words right out of my mouth as I’ve been scrolling through them as I’m watching
@@kleezayd I know right?!!? 🤣😅
The human condition us something else isn't it?? Great comment.
@@incantationsbykaryn thank you! 😊
@@Anjela2211 ❤️
I'll never understand her leaving her children. She permanently damaged them.
The fact that she’s spoken of things that she’s never told anyone before, is a testament to the power of Mark’s presence. He makes people feel comfortable enough to bear their souls but not just to Mark but to US.
My thoughts exactly
She had never spoken of those things before because she was making it up. Saying that she hadn’t talked about it before was just filler when she was coming up with the story. She should probably start writing short stories as a hobby and see if she can make it as an author.
@@Morgan-cn5fk and u know this how?
@@zoereel5660 I watched the video.
@@Morgan-cn5fk That's a horrible thing to say. What kind of person are you??
THIS is precisely why a (preferably non-judgmental) support system is so important! As a former 20yr addict (3yrs sober) my family lifted me from the gutter and w/out them I’d be nothing. I can sympathize with EVERYTHING she is saying cuz not that long ago I too was in her shoes. I am praying for God’s grace and provision in her life and hope she can take small steps to get better. Lord knows she deserves restoration….
My sister was in this woman’s shoes. Everyone has a rock bottom and she hasn’t seen her rock bottom yet. My sisters rock bottom was having her first baby in jail while awaiting drug charges. In the past 7 years my little sister has turned her life completely around. She worked her ass off to get custody of her baby when he was 7 months old and now she’s engaged to an amazing man and has two kids. I have been next to her cheering her on the whole time. I am so god damn proud of her. I cannot express that enough. Let me tell you that I bet your family is proud of you! Good job staying clean.
Amen 🙏🏻 congratulations and God Bless you ♥️♥️
Society need to get back to understand that when you post opinions or call out facts… THAT IS NOT JUDGMENT. The only people who feel that it’s judgment are the ones who live in their feelings instead of logic and because they live in their feelings can’t understand calling out facts isn’t being judgmental.
@@TruthHurtsSoGetAHelmet Somebody had to say it !!!
The fact that she wouldn’t talk to her daughter for ten years in order to keep up the facade really got under my skin.
Yep.
She's a terrible person. Of course the guy nicest to her gets absolutely screwed over
She’s a typical narcissistic sociopath, I have no sympathy for her. She was cognizant of exactly what she was doing
Yes! 100% horrible what she did.
Yup. Time for a new fk but not for her kids. She's a loser
I would never peg her as a method user. She is still so pretty, dressed nicely and completely coherent. I loved her transparency and her willingness to accept full responsibility for her own actions. It's one person I feel could turn her life around with the right tools. One common thread through all these interviews seems to be trauma...deaths or abuse of some sort. It shows how important it is to receive mental health and or spiritual help to cope so hopefully destructive coping doesn't enter the picture. Prayers for you Sara and your kids. It's never to late to become the person God planned for you to be when he first created you. Satan is evil and wants your soul...stand up and refuse to let him win!
You can see it in her face. It's very hard on the body, but remember she only started using any drugs a few years ago. A lot of addicts have a lifetime of substance abuse under their belts
It's all in the eyes. Beware of anyone with two different eyes.
What in the living fuck are you talking about Ginger.
@@cancergurl6998 She has an asymmetrical face from drugs alchohol and genes.
There is a massive amount of people using meth and you would barely have a clue.
Poor people, professionals and rich. Just doing meth doesn't turn you into a skin picking street dweller.
She seems to have become stuck as the confused, scared, immature and naive 15 yr old girl she once was. Good for her for opening up. She won´t let herself cry. She won´t even say the word cry. Hopefully she can get some help, work through all the pain and learn to realize that she is an amazing worthwhile adult woman and can get some self worth and live a happy life. A very broken woman living with layers and layers of GUILT.
Her honesty is impressive. Not many people can admit to their mistakes. I see the level of deep pain she has and the guilt. I hope she’s doing better and able to repair some parts of the relationship she lost with her children.
There is definitely childhood trauma that is not being revealed. One does not get pregnant at 15 when everything is wonderful at home. I wish her the best in the future.
Why not? All it takes to get pregnant is to have sex, it takes 5mn sometimes! It’s about educating girls their value and to be careful with alcool, how to say no, to turn down someone even if they insist, not to be a pleaser that’s a common thing for girls. Parents are afraid to be raw and talk about this as if ignoring it will make it disappear.
Also this has to be addressed before teen years.
Now that we live in hypersexualized internet era it’s even worst.
I warned my girls first about alcool, present in most tragedies, if the guy insists, tell him to jerk off, if you sleep with boys, other boys will target you, then when a very nice guy appears, he’s gonna be less likely to want you if you’ve been too easy, men are hunters, it has to be difficult. Be respected, most of all respect yourself, wait until you understand what sex is, wait for love, desire, pleasure. Doing it at a party, in a car or in a bathroom isn’t how you want your first time. Building desire, wondering if he likes you, expectation, stretch this as much as you can, after that you’ll be doing it for the rest of your life and this step will be gone. Don’t burn it, don’t ruin your entry in love life, it’s your story, your life, your value. Choose yourself! The world is yours.
If someone told her this, she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant at 15.
Bingo, there is way more to her childhood than she talked about.
said the same thing. she mentioned at 26:24 that she acts like some of the bad things in her life never happened by living in a fairytale & it makes me think that she’s really suppressing some deeper trauma (as a protective mechanism) that’s being unconsciously expressed in her life and decisions now.
Yes. So weird also the reaction of the parents.
If both parents are in the medical field , the child inevitably is emotionally neglected. She probably had a pool and great clothes but was neglected.
Wow. What an intense life journey - the situation she found herself in at 15 I believe was the culprit for the rest that followed. I hope the best for her and look forward to a follow up interview.
Fingers crossed that Sara finds her place in this world! She deserved one more chance!When she told about the story that she came back to her hometown and no one recognized her anymore like Sara as a person, but like the homeless Sara, it makes me think about how homeless people are INVISIBLE by society. Mark you do a great job giving people the opportunity and visibility to share their stories!
She deserves a second chance...She deserves to be able to rehabilitate and reconnect with the people she loves. I hate to see what this world does to everyone, I wish life was better.
Why ? Why do the kids she abandoned when she was stone cold sober owe her that ?
@@blackthornsloe8049 It's a shame. If you know anyone whose mother has left for a better life, you know that the child grows up damaged. She got away from the abusive husband, but left the kids with him. If she could get clean and get the help she needs, she seems like she could repair the relationships with her children. Now she says she can't really get high anymore because of her collapsed veins, so it's a rarity. But she was walking down the street in the night just the other night, with needles in her bag...needles for the drugs that she really doesn't use anymore...
@@blackthornsloe8049 i think you're failing to listen to what she's saying. do you really think being married off and pregnant at 15 is something that wouldn't affect one's psyche and ability to raise children of her own? did that detail just fly over your head, or did you just chose to ignore it?
@@Asoftenkameshee yeah ... you can help her by having her come over to watch your kids . Oh , you don't have kids ?
Huh , such an authority on it all . Super impressed .
does she? If my parents abandoned me when I was a child I wouldn't give them the time of day. Boho, she had it hard, how did the kids have it without a mother and father?
Wow the decisions we make can sometimes haunt us for a lifetime. Praying for you.
@@baublesanddolls She left the kids with their father- who was an adult when they were born. The details are sketch. Its not an excuse but imagine being pregnant with a grown mans child and forced to marry. What a stupid decision from day one. Her daughter is right to be cautious. Her mother is an addict but she would likely have been aborted by most in this situation. People of means don't force their kids to marry these days..
Shes still so beautiful and you can tell theres so much still left in her. Hopefully she can get help that she is so deserving of. 🙏
I hope this interview is the beginning of her finding the kind of help she needs. Thank you for sharing your story Sara. Hoping for the best for you.
This woman reminds me of my mom. Chooses self or men over kids no matter if she's on drugs or sober. I hope she gets clean but her selfishness is who she is. That won't change. She's said she had a chance to meet up with her daughter but decided to go see a man. Omg! I feel so bad for her kids,not her.
@@deerheart87 Coda??? Elaborate please
I feel for her but that part about her having the opportunity to meet with her daughter but she chose not to blew me away!!!!
Not the worse thing in the world...I'm guessing she just got scared of how the kid would perceive her. She definitely has a "running" thing going on, but I see it as very low self esteem. My mom stuck around to undercut me in everything I did...wish she had "run" instead. Sometimes dads are better "moms" than the moms themselves, IMHO.
She’s really vain and narcissistic. She’s more worried about what people think than being a mom. I think people are downplaying her alcoholism also. Drinking that heavily can certainly cause bad decisions to be made. This lady makes horrible decisions and then pities herself. And yes, she had low self-esteem and chooses men over her children. Sad.
Probably the only one in the comments who gets it ..
I am very touched by this interview. The courage you have behind your voice - strikes me. Even though you made mistakes, and we all have, I now know you exist on this planet alongside me. In many ways I feel connected to the worries and self-frustration. We BOTH could have done better. I am currently learning how to allow myself to make mistakes. You are a sister to me. You have a lot to offer still.
a brutally honest episode of self reflection that is truly heart breaking. I really hope Sara gets to break out of this cycle of loneliness and despair and is able to find some happiness
What an extraordinary lady ! She is of a different time/generation/place ! She blames nobody but herself ! I hope the world becomes a better place for her . She has a lot to contribute
Forcing her to marry and have the baby at 15 should be illegal. Yet people like her are forced into a life like this, and abortion gets criminalized. The system punishes victims.
I’m trying to put the pieces together ~
Sara is 39, her children are 23, 21 & 18 (a five year age gap). She’s 16, 17 and 20 when her children are born
- Raised and educated Catholic
- Married at 15 everyone lived with her parents
- Not sure when her family of four move into their own place
- Leaves her family; meets an ex-con at 19
- She and new boyfriend (Jacob) moved in with her folks; is pregnant or gets pregnant
- Disassociates with her older kids when they’re four and fives years old
- Jacob dies during a police report. He is tasered. Mentioned of a lawsuit ~ quiet
- Mother is dx’d with late stage cancer. Parents sell everything for her treatment at non big name cancer treatment center in CA
- She and her sisters go back/forth to be with their Mom in hospice
- Mom dies of cancer, Dad is a drug addict and dies 7/8 years later
- Not sure when she moves to CA
- She drinks two gallons of vodka a day
- Returns to Reno; remembers to seek the Methodist church?
- Returns to CA an intravenous user, new home Skid Row
- Only the eldest has minimal contact
** there is to much unexplained money
** it’s clear her kids wanted a structured by joining the military
* Not sure which direction is best suited for Sara ?! Drugs & alcohol are generally nobodies best friend
I believe she has been on the sex trade but is another thing she doesn’t want to talk about. That’s the unexplained money bit.
Her skin, arms, face, hair, overall body is in great shape for someone who has and is abusing it to this extent.
@@patriciavasara1051 I wondered if she has or had a private monthly stipend, maybe a trust from her parents, inheritance, or the settlement from wrongful death of her first children's father. It could explain the money, or why discussion about the settlement was off limits. An NDA would definitely be included if the prison settled out of court.
father director of international YMCA chapter without health insurance coverage for himself and his wife?
I think this video truly has the potential to turn Sara's life around; she's brutally honest and self aware, not to mention intelligent and well spoken, I hope this interview can be therapeutic for her and help her confront her trauma and let go of the guilt
I feel her pain. It takes one bad experience for some of us to fall of the Clif, and we keep going down the pit. Courage sister.
Sara and her story reminds me so much of my Mother...I know very little about her life before I was born and how I became part of her life. Why the man who raised me for the first part of my life decided to stay. I was not his son nor his responsibility, neither was my abusive, addicted, raging alcoholic mother. The nightmare they (we) endured will always be a mystery to me sadly. They both passed away from alcohol and drug abuse before I was anywhere near an age to attempt to be told or even understand everything, I know I never knew my mother sober, or what made her focus so much anger onto me My father worked day and night for weeks at a time, to give a child he had no responsibility to(
Even adopted me later on) a chance at life......ill always be greatful him and tell my motherI forgiveher and love her bo matter what. ♥️