High Value Men, Gold Diggas & Broke Dusties: Muslim Edition
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ส.ค. 2024
- Na'ima B. Robert and Br Nasir al-Amin discuss the controversial issue of money in marriage - is it important?
Should a sister accept a brother with no money?
Do brothers have to provide in order to get respect?
Should sisters with fewer options be prepared to compromise?
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For me I literally got married by begging Allah and then he blessed me. Just be sincere be real, take thus brothers advice and then drown in your duas. May Allah bless all my single brothers and sisters with spouses good for their dunya and akhira ameen!!
What Dua did you make? My circumstances are killing me from inside. I m making hazrat mosa Dua and surah furqan Dua rabbana hublana one.... Nothing is happening for one reason of another things go wrong.
Also my grand parents made Dua in tahajat for us but for some reasons we r stuck in this situation since years. At what age u got married sis or bro?
@@geekygirl648 sister, I was single for 11 yrs after my divorce, marriage felt impossible. I remarried at 34
@@Onajourney519 May Allah swt put barakah in ur marriage, any special dua which you make?
@@geekygirl648 listen there is no special dua, do the sunnahduas, but you neeed to make dua from your heart with certainty that Allah will answer, you have to think ' well of Allah, you.need to ask Allah for contentment, and you need to beg from to relieve you from whatever pain you're going through, you have to have certainty, when you can't take it anymore and you thin' there's no end to this, he will relieve you. I also learnt to accept my situation and I kept reciting quran, figuring out if there's something I need to do to improve ecr...
Everyo'es journey is different, Also you wake up for tahhajud! It'll make you happier, develop a relationship with Allah, this life is a short journey, sometimes you'll be i' winter and sometimes summer, it's never constant suffering. I hope my advice helps, I don't know you, so I can't advice you personally.
My name is Dr. Musiliu Folarin Farayola from Nigeria.
I always enjoy your marriage discussions, keep up the good work.
Thank you very much for making these videos ✨
-coming from a 18 years old muslimah
Appreciate you taking the time to watch and your feedback.
Nice to see I am not the only 18 year old watching these talks.
@@mihlembasane2210 welcome, and appreciate you taking the time to watch and engage. We have a new show dropping tomorrow so watch this space for it. Thank you again.
53:36 The highlight of the talk. Naima dropping gems.
I am seeking marriage and I love this video. The sister is making the points that we sisters talk about all the time, but the brother is telling us to make good decisions in our choices. I want my man to provide but I am willing to help him to be the best Muslim and to get to Jenna because that should be our focus. If he is striving and working hard to please me I will work just as hard to please him because it makes Allah swt pleased with me and that is my focus. Mindset for the sisters and brothers is everything, I believe that too. Men and women that have resources have options but let’s marry for the deen meaning men bring something to the table and women bring what the men need too. We have the Holy Quran and the Sunnah to guide us MashAllah. We have to divorce ourselves of the Dunya and social media confusion.
"Divorce ourselves from social media and dunya" - yes!
I agree with you sister!
I understand where this man is coming from, I have brothers like this too.
@@AAA-sx5ej sorry I don’t know who you are!
Excellent Vid, very needed discussion and actually could be broken down and discussed further. A man does need to be financially responsible, doesnt mean he needs to be rich. Women must remember that Allah provides, sometimes thru the man, sometimes in other ways. Our first thing to look at needs to be his deen, bc that covers his knowing he needs to try to earn. Allah is in charge of how well the man does and our job is to try to live within the means he provides. If you want more, seek it from Allah but dont resent a man who is trying. There is hadith which tells men to marry even if he is poor, so there must be women who should be willing to support this man, not financially per se, but be his back up, his soft place in a hard world. If we redefine, as Sis Naima says, what the true intention of marriage is, we would approach all of this differently than how we are approaching marriage now, our view is tainted by other fairy tale type images and stories. Allah is the core of our aim in life and we should never forget.
Preach!!!
It's all about if a man is genuinely trying to do the right thing, effectively, efficiently, with his best efforts. Such masculine drive requires feminine fuel, otherwise the whole community breaks down.
@@talhaahsanlondon what about the women genuinely doing the best they can as well. I agree the masculine requires the feminine. Let's support our Muslim men to be their best without trying to control them.
Try t try tatty Yetty tyres for the r or the best op area use ty try r r
@Golden Cooler i was married b4 i was 20, i learned many things along the way. I try to help other sisters see these things bc they proved invaluable to my marriage. Allah also surrounded me with wise older women and honest males in the family I could speak to.
Amaaaaaazing talk thank you so much Sister Naima and Brother Nasir
It was really helpful, enlightening and engaging
Appreciate you taking the to time watch and your feedback.
Na’ima, you and Nasir out did yourselves! This episode was excellent and touched so many aspects and perspectives. I’m not a Muslima but I loved this episode, learnt again from the discussion. God bless.
I disagree with Nasir. He’s just perpetuating the gold digger culture brewing amongst the sisters. There are many sisters who are ok with a dual income household, and many brothers ok with performing many child raising responsibilities.
MaShaAllah both of you made valid points to think about & ponder over.. Thankyou for this important discussion!
I think is Western society and feminisim plays a role. Like your videos 👌🏼👍🏼
An Extraordinary/Excellent video. May Allah except you and br. Nasir Al-Amin sincere intention and hard work. Everyone that listened to this video if they are not married. May Allah give them a righteous spouse. If they are married, May allah keep you their relationship together.
Ameen 🤲
Great information as usual, blessed to have Naima as our sister, love the content. OK as a wife, what's a high value woman?
A needed public discussion. May Allah accept both of your efforts.
The next step would be to discuss real life practical examples of husband and wife and provisions . So that the general talk for a man "to provide" is defined and contextualised. Otherwise most sister's would give their own interpretation, leaving room for unrealistic expectations again. The man has the islamic obligation and we have aswell Urf (custom) which gives room to deviate if not defined.
So ideally, bring on different muslim married couples and discuss their financial arrangements, see how it works for them. How it was in the begging or marriage and now where they are.
For example, we have Abdullah looking to get married, he earns £1.6k a month. He will pay £800 for rent and bills. £200 for food and other expenses. He has £600 left per month. Assuming money for clothing is provided by Abdullah to a relative good standard. How much of that £600 should he pay to his wife to spend for her own personal use. I.e cosmetics, santery, transport..etc? What if the wife works and earns, how much should she get. The man has the responsibility to longterm plan and save.
How do you gauge that....if another women's hears that one women's get £X, she would say ask for more because I get £X. Without considering individual circumstances.
What should a muslim women's expectations be in marriage if the potential man earns more or less than Abdullah. What if the man has debts to pay off.
I think that's a worthy topic of discussion for public disclosure.
That's an excellent point, I'd like to hear more about this too inshaAllah
It’s ok to want to secure resources and to have certain expectations.
But it’s the balance and not going to extremes.
Mindset is interesting.
This is very logical and important discussion
Appreciate you taking the time to watch and sharing your thoughts.
I fall into the older sister category too, with a 35 year older who is refusing to get married because of my own bad experience, though I have sheltered her from the pain as much as could, we have suffered a lot, firstly by their dad then by the community.. it’s tough for women these days..
@@AAA-sx5ej wow, trauma energy!
High value men are those that are highly sought after, it doesn’t mean that they are great in character.
How would you describe a high value Muslim man?
@@nasiral-amin a man who is highly sought after by others he doesn’t have to be muslim
@@nasiral-amin I look at it this way; if he is perceived to be valuable to most people then he is high value. Sadly most people are not looking for those with the qualities of the prophets.
@@nasiral-amin it's simple:
Money
Muscles
Game
Character/Deen
Very few men have all four things, but that is what most women are chasing.
Great efforts for you sister may Allah bless you and save you..
I couldn’t trust anyone into our life because her own father rejected her , I didn’t want some other man coming into our lives & rocking the boat further.. it’s hard enough being a single parent of two a boy & girl.. it’s hard to trust anyone when you have been through trauma!
But what can a sister do for men who don't want the sister to work when she has to work to provide for her old parents
Chris Rock " WOMEN, CHILDREN, AND DOGS ARE THE ONLY THINGS THAT ARE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY. THE MOMENT A MAN STOPS PRODUCING, HE AIN"T CRAP"
This was a great talk but to my surprise there always those people that get nothing/false understanding of what was spoken about/intended.
The response of those who did not understand/did not listen at all to the context reminds me of the game we used to play with my teacher in class
He used to have us stand back to back, write a message then have the first person transmit the message to the next person up until the last one
And by the time the message reached the last person, it was completely wrong,🤔
HUMAN WAY OF UNDERSTANDING IS INDEED DIFFERENT
and
THE ATTENTION SPAN IS SOOO HORRIBLE.
Mashallah sister can you please make videos on how to get a spouse
The introvert game is money, the extrovert game i manipulation, the dominant male game is machismo, the senitive male game is love. To esch their own.
Where do you find such brothers that would want to settle with someone like me?
Men have a duty (it’s not a choice but a command) to provide, guard and protect women! On basic level of understanding of this command but not limited to this , as we live in the end times/ of fittan , dajjal has very successfully exploited men and women in order to achieve his objectives! Men dressing as women and vice versa said my beloved prophet pbuh, a woman is the foundation of a righteous institution and protecting her and her imaan in a safe environment is of pivotal importance and if we really are to offer solutions it’s imperative we turn to the Quran with honesty and integrity so we may be successful in this dunya and the hereafter and not be chasing the fake and bogus paper money hence we weigh our value and worth in fictitious money the zeenah of this material dunya.
سلام عليكم..
Of course it's going both ways..
And I know many sisters who contribute by working.
Raise kids and many men doesn't really care as they should related to Tarbia ..
And most Home Caring 🏡..
I been married for over 30 years 4 kids but I didn't working..
My husband great Provider ما شاء الله..
But what I often seen is that we as mothers weren't able to raise men.
I am listening from Egypt 🇪🇬..
Not generalising here but Culture often not Islamic at all..
I totally agree with your Talk being realistic..
Yet the whole subject has many layers and to surrendering doesn't mean having no personality 🤔
Nasir has a fundamental flaw in advice about finances. According to the Qur’an and Sunnah a man should get married as soon as he can. Not when he has established finances . Allah provides rizq
Salaam,
How do I get in touch with Br Nasir? I don't have instagram and I don't intend to resubscribe to it. But keen to know more about the match making program.
Yes from uk England 🇬🇧. Birmingham umar ❤ 💯🤲🤲🤲
You get use to being alone, no1 really wants to accept women with children.. I have had a provide & raise my kids myself..
Gold diggers, a big issue with Muslimahs today
Men have been told don't chase Dunya aka money all their lives then when they get married their wives resent them.
This is a valid point - but who is telling them this? Their families? Teachers?
@@NaimaBRobertTV money is important - its a vital component in whatever country you are living in. Islamically speaking a man must take care of a woman's essential bills.
Indirectly Islam tells us that a man must have financial stability to a high state.
I think for the majority of people, we have to go down to the 50-50 route for bill splitting. The average man doesn't have the wages to cover both people, especially once you have children as well.
@@NaimaBRobertTV Imams, mosque leaders, maybe those in the the Dawah scene. I've heard it all my life.
@@supernova4life1 we can't lie it is an important aspect of being a man. Finances is important but it's not the be all and end all.
@@Jay-bc7kh well ask those guys who get divorced because of having minimal finances
As salaam alaykum, Umm Isma'eel from Connecticut, USA
Na'ima, you sounded like u were getting there for a moment, but pulled back. Here's the crux. If you look at the economic value of everything a wife provides - cleaner, nanny, admin assistant, counsellor (to adult and children), chef, gardener, DIY expert and that's before we even get to sexual services - it equates to as much as 14 hours a day and she's always on call. Studies put the cash value of that (pre the sexual services) at about £44K per year. The salary of the average man is less than that! Women's unpaid care work is the 3rd biggest sector of the UK economy. Why on earth should an XX put up with being on call for her "Emir" 24/7 when he's contributing best case 50 hours a week (and likely a whole lot less) and she working 150 hrs if shes doing all that on top of 20 hrs a week part-time, as many women do. Men want it every which way: they want women to bring in extra money for them to spend and they want her to do all the work at home. This is not a conversation about older women with money wanting to get married for companionship- which rightly is taking on a different aspect in all cultures. This is about todays 18-35 year old women. Why should they fall for nonsense designed by men which - to be fair - the example of the Prophet and Khadijah - would mitigate against. And despite what your colleague is saying to encourage import brides: a) good luck at customs these days and b) it'll turn out badly as soon as she learns English.
So what's the answer, sis? Is this type of thinking helping us, as individuals or as an ummah? I don't have the answers, I just know that we all have to do better and perhaps make some sacrifices if we want to achieve some of our goals in this life and the next. May Allah guide us all.
Sister, the example you mentioned is unbalanced. If you are going to compare a sister meeting all of those targets (cleaner, nanny, admin assistant, counsellor, chef, gardener...etc.) and compare that type of sister to a brother that is contributing at best 50 hours and as you say "likely a whole lot less" isn't intellectually honest. And lets keep it real, a lot of sisters don't know how to cook, let alone be referred to as a chef, nor keep a house clean... gardening? and a "counsellor"? I hope you aren't assuming that a woman has the emotional understanding and tools to be a counselor to her husband simply because she is a woman. Furthermore, I'm not encouraging "import brides," I'm acknowledging a reality that has historically occurred amongst Muslims in the West, and is an option that brothers unlike sisters are more likely to explore and have success with. Humility, is the place to start sis. It's an uncomfortable truth, that sisters lose leverage as they age in the Muslim Marriage Market (MM), thus it would behoove them to be strategic in terms of the MMM. Appreciate you watching and leaving your thoughts.
@@nasiral-amin Sir, thanks for taking the time to respond. I did not debate the factual accuracy on your comments on the MMM. I don't disagree with them in any way and as I made clear in my caveat I'm speaking to younger women who still have time to build up a career or have a greater choice over partners. My point -as I think you know - is quite different and remains the same whatever nitpicking you do about women's ability to perform these roles. I'm talking about the value of unpaid labour committed by women as compared to the value committed by their mid-level or lower husbands. There have been many many studies (most of them based on a minimum wage level of skill) on this, but let me give you one from your own US government.
According to a report by the US Bureau of Labor Statistics from 1997, to employ all the cooks, cleaners, chauffeurs and nannies needed to meet a housewife's annual contribution to the home would cost $120,900 (£62,590) - updated to 2007 for inflation. Counsellor is not included, neither is sex worker, but it still equates to more than the average working man's salary. THIS is in large part why both parties find it harder to marry. Its because women who have better financial options so are choosing more carefully. The reality is poorer men must contribute more in other areas - more equal partnership, help in the house etc - to make up for the economic value deficit when their wife also works .Otherwise, they are completely defunct once children have been provided and are provided for. As to humility: a dose of it behoves us all.
@@NaimaBRobertTV Dearest Na'ima, like you, I just want to see more happy marriages for both women and men. I think women certainly need to be more realistic when choosing a partner, but I think the biggest leap is for men. If they are not bringing economic value, there are many many other things they can bring: deen, not the least amongst them, but also partnership, support in child and house care etc. In essence a willingness to share and contribute rather than being served. I'm not negating the key role of mother but in most cases men need to add more value. Because at the moment we have a generation of women who can do the maths and why would they settle for the worst of both worlds, both working themselves to the bone and being with men who do not treat them as partners. This is an issue for the ummah, but also for every other culture in the world. What these red pill men say might be fine for the "privileged few," but it just won't work for average families in the West.And I fear they take men who cannot afford this lifestyle and who never will be able to down the wrong path with promises of a traditional wife and then three more of them.
@@dodgysmum8340 I think you might have a point but there were some terms such as "need to add more value"
"Worst of both worlds"
"Realistic"
Are just too generic for me. Best is to see case to case whether or not the marriage is worth saving? Is it worth destroying the Society that is related to the marriage? Eg divorce does not only destroy only two people but also destroys the lives of children, the parents, relatives and beloved ones of the divorced spouses.
And what to do with men who live in some western states where there is provided social welfare? Many brothers say in this case it is not obligatory for him to work as social welfare is also a kind of income and rizq which Allaah swt provided through this welfare system…In many countries there is a high amount of social welfare which comes similar to the earnings of a good job and many men use this as an excuse not to work.
If you want a traditional woman who does not go to the university library or spend her time on social media marry someone from the remote villages in Pakistan or Afghanistan. Oh even those have social media now. You want someone attractive to you but you do not want her to go to college and have no knowledge about what is going on in the world except raising her family. How can she raise the kids if she is not educated??
Sis can you talk about remarrying as a young with widow.
That shouldn't be hard, a widow doesn't have the same stigma as someone who has been divorced.
Aslamu-Alaikum Sister.
Interesting topic, Marsha-Allah
Very good video
as.wa.wr..thankyou....i..am...not merry...
how can i reach this brother for the marriage proposals list he talk in the video?
Send him a message on Instagram, sis. @nasiralamin
I look forward to hearing from you.
@@nasiral-amin bro I will msg u tomorrow morning.
@@nasiral-amin bro i msg u
The corporate concubine 🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥
Terrible advice by the brother, if I had a son I would try and get him married off as soon as he gets his first job. I would teach my son either my own craft (IT ) or make sure at a young age he is career/business focused.
Not everyone can get 6 figures please understand that.
Did you listen to the full video and to the context or you just jumped the guns???🤔
What is wrong with you people???
@@bintjamiel2873 I listened to everything
@@KassimEffect us men have to raised our sons with the marriage mentality at a young age alot of fathers don't
Islamic Finance Guru offer good advice and resources on these topics compatible with Shariah teachings in letter and spirit. Feel free to check them out. I have no connection with them except as a follower of their work.
They have covered the topic of expensive weddings in lieu of long term investments. Perhaps you should consider having them as guest too on the channel.
Sounds like a plan, masha Allah!
Great idea. Thank you!
@@NaimaBRobertTV By the way, let me advise you look at Zencastr as an alternative platform to Zoom. The former is specifically designed for podcasting needs with post-production tools. I'm not sure if there is a livestreaming facility though.
Also, I am hoping you will address Sidi Nasir's throwing of the spanner into the works at the Weekend Conference with his critique of the Men are from Mars model of gendered language and communication. MAFM is used by YQ and others as their commonsense marriage advice, and for the most part, it seems right to most of us.
yes...it...is...for social she...can told...me....befor...merging..of..the...firts...i..get....promes for...one....person...i...will..wait him....she...said...for..me....so....
The first purpose of nikah in islam is the husband provides necessities of life and security. The wife provides her body, to protect both from zinna. The rest follows.
Rizq comes form Allah, both should be religious , then the husband should have prospects , ability to provide - a job or qualifications, or business experience. Allah provides. The husband provides the house and necessities, the wife looks after herself and the household.
Please help me understand, so it's expected for a wife to contribute 100% as a stepmother to her husband children when it comes to her rules and most of the time if the woman is unable to provide that it's a deal breaker, but when it comes to the husband rules he should not be expected to contribute 100% to her children because it has something to do with financials providing? hmm, I think her rules is just as much as important just think about it,I believe each partner in a marriage have a rules to play and they should all be expected to complete does rules,it doesn't matter with the stepchildren or without, I understand the Deen never said it's a responsible for the husband to take care of he's stepchildren, but the Deen also never said it's a woman responsible to take care of her stepchildren but we do it anyway because it's a commonsense. A family should be a family in everything not just in so parts,Husband or wife should work hard on their rules to be able to take care of their stepchildren 100% as much as they will do with their biological.
سلام عليكم..
Good men for good women.
And..we know..
Honestly we don't take values to get a man..
Its in the Fitrah matters..
Sometimes it's like Super Marked 🙄
If you see a good Muslim man is a Provider only related to his worth that's pretty much materialistic view.
Personality I believe a good man will carry stones on his back to bring Home food etc ..
Replay
What the hell is a dusty
Whos boro bhai are you😂😂😂
@@kemchy3838 anyone who hasn't got one I'll be a substitute
@@Finggy haha. Luckily for me, i have a boro bhai mezo bhai,, im the suto bhai in thr family😂
@@kemchy3838 lol I'm actually a mezo Bhai in real life but I'm the Boro Bhai in the metaverse, considering my age some may even consider me dare I say a "Sasa"
It's a type of mindset.
Nasir another one who's detached from reality
Would you be kind enough to elaborate on how I am detached from reality? I appreciate you taking the time to watch and for sharing your thoughts.
@@nasiral-amin You're saying men should be financially stable before getting married. A average man who may go uni or not probably earn between 17k to 25k After Tax you take home about 2k on average in the UK. Rent on average is £700 per month, Council tax 100, Utilities 100+ Phone 50pm, car Insurance is 1k per year, petrol £20 gives 100 miles, food easy minimum £50 per week, broadband £25 to £35 per month and list continues. Then he might have elderly parents who has to support, brothers & sisters and lets not forget Muslim women ever growing materialistic demands. All this for a guy around 25 yrs age. Oh don't forget if hes a normal healthy young man, he will have sexual desires too. Not every man will become an entrepreneur, if he does he will fail on average 7 times and 8th business is no guarantee, which would take 10 years. i could go on......
I wouldn't say detached, but is def encouraging men to take finance seriously. But there must b the element of trusting in Allah to provide. By all means get married, be honest about where you are and what you are striving to achieve, a woman who is a believer will work with you. The ones who don't, gladly thank Allah n give them a miss. Many marriages from back in the day were started on meager and built thru time. The Insta-life folks looks for these days is what makes a man feel the need to secure the whole bag b4 seeking. I say seek, build, and grow. Bismillah
Nasir was in simp mode here
@@TheMrpalid can you elaborate on what points I shared that qualify as simping. Appreciate you taking the time to watch and share your thoughts.
Slm sister I get the feeling that you are favouring men I whant u to talk about those men who are destroying women
The exception to the rule doesn't make the rule. There are very few men who are "destroying" women and the stats back this up.
Can you elaborate on the type of men and situations you are referring to.
You are giving VERY dangerous advice here.
"if your finances are not in order, don't get married"
The average salary for a male in the UK is roughly £31k.
So what you are saying is those brothers who earn that wage shouldn't get married, even though they may have stability in their career?.....this is why so many guys nowadays are just having sex outside of marriage or they marry non Muslim women who don't really place a huge emphasis on a man paying for all their bills.
What's wrong with getting married to a woman and splitting the bills 50-50? If your partner is working, you can have a joint income of easily 60k+. Decent life is that.
Children come in? maternity leave, also a lot of jobs allow you to work from home now as well. So the man and woman can help each other out.
Not every guy can earn 60k, 70k etc. There is a reason we have an average salary.
I never tethered "finances in order" to a particular salary amount.
@@nasiral-amin you kind of indirectly did though.
In order for a man to comfortably cover himself, partner and potential future children all by himself, he needs to earn way above the average salary - talking ball park 50k+ (bare minimum). A guy on 30-35k ain't covering all those bills in today's economy. Not a chance.
As Muslims we need to be open to splitting bills 50-50 nowadays for most average people. Not everyone is going to be a high earner, period.
@@Jay-bc7kh I appreciate you response. I’m open to pushback on my thoughts. However, if you are going to say I’m pushing dangerous ideas, then when asked for clarity, you say, “well you kind of indirectly did.” My brother, I suggest you take a moment to listen to the ideas I shared again as I think you have misunderstood what I said.
@@nasiral-amin I agree with what you said later on in the video, but my worry is vast majority of people don't watch the full video. A lot of girls will just think if he can't cover my bills I don't want him. Or the reverse is if a guy is making an average wage, he will think I don't have enough to get married, so I'll just have sex outside of marriage.
@@bintjamiel2873 and clearly you didn't read my latest reply to him. You literally made a fool of yourself.
Finances are up to Allah. DO NOT MAKE MONEY A BARRIER TO PROTECTING THE SOCIETY.
"Allah gives abundant or limited provisions to whoever He wills of His servants. Surely Allah has ˹full˺ knowledge of everything." Quran - 29:62
“Marry off the free singles among you, as well as the righteous of your bondmen and bondwomen. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His bounty. For Allah is All-Bountiful, All-Knowing.”
Quran 24:32" - Surah Nur
Money should not be the reason why a young man or woman with natural and aggressive sexual needs cannot get married. A man can be intelligent, hardworking, and have integrity (Like Musa AS and Muhammad SAWS), but the circumstances Allah puts him through will leave him poor. If we look at the Sunnah and the Quran, this did not disqualify men for marriage!
The money will come and go! IT WILL COME AND GO! Just like a woman's beauty will come and go! Subhan Allah. Do not make superficial things a barrier to protecting the Ummah from an epidemic of zina. And today, it's harder than EVER to build real wealth for the average young man because he has to compete with millions of women now. Not to mention minimum standards of living have become so incredibly high.
Prioritize deen and character. Leave the rest up to Allah. For goodness sake, PROTECT THE MUSLIMS from the temptations of shaytan. And a man will not become a real man until he gets married, so honestly, why force him to wait until he is 30 years old and leave him drowning in a flood of sexual fitna?
Be realistic. Be merciful. Fear Allah. Don't make the man responsible for what only Allah controls. If he hardworking, honest, has good manners, a vision, and is fearful of Allah, that man is gold. Literal gold.
PLEASE, be responsible and protect the Muslims. Subhan Allah.