I have let my parents control me my whole life, and because of it I'm now depressed,sad, lonely! It's like I have watched people live life to the fullest, while I'm standing behind a fence.
Your parents don't always love you and have your best interest at heart. Sometimes they're narcissistic and want things their way therefore they want to control you. This video brings true for parents that are loving and actually care about their children which is rare these days.
Thanks for your comments. My video is not saying that all parents are loving or that all parents are unloving. I have many other videos that I would encourage you to view if you are really interested in improving your relationships. What I do believe is that most people are good and that we behave in ways that we think will “make us happy”. Our intent most of the time is not to “hurt” others unless we are feeling hurt and then we want to “hurt” back. The truth is, and when we truly understand this, we can be truly happy and free, is that no one can control us, other than physically controlling us if they are bigger and stronger, we are free to do whatever we want in the place we are at in our life but we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions. So, I don’t have to do what my parents want me to do but their are consequences for the choices I make And the last thing is, and this may be difficult to understand or agree with, but no one can “hurt” another person. They can do hurtful things but the person who is the recipient of the hurtful actions gets to choose what they want to do with it. Many people are able to take hurtful and unpleasant experiences and turn them into something helpful and beneficial
It’s pretty damn annoying when your parents just don’t trust you anymore and every time you ask for something they will say no, they control your life and they force you to do some things that you don’t like I’m in a situation when my parents black mail me if I don’t do some tasks they take everything I like and I can’t stand up because I will always lose, it’s sad and depressing , It’s a situation that you can’t escape from
I'm old enough to do literally anything I want to an extent, and my mom literally got onto me for SNIPPING the dead ends off my hair smh. So now she said we aren't able to have shut bathroom doors? She just doesnt let me do the smallest things.
I think an issue is that a lot of times young people internalize their parents control such that they begin to doubt themselves and feel incapable of making their own decisions or even just making good decisions. It's probably difficult to overcome that indoctrination, good psychologists are definitely beneficial in those cases
This began in the neo-Nazi system created by a Prussian in the 1700s, a system that is still standing today and that makes children, young people, adults become products of the system, THE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM.
@@scottydippin1984 lucky you. I once managed to move out, but they made de feel so guilty for ''abandoning them'' and I had to move back. Now I'm back to living like a 13 yo kid again.
I am the same way. I am also 20 years old about to be 21 in just a few months. My mom is the EXACT same way because the god of the bible is that way. See my mom is the kind of mom who doesnt want to listen to ANYTHING ELSE BUT THE BIBLE. She will NEVER listen to anything that might come into contradiction with her beliefs. She will NEVER listen to pop music or scientists who don't STRICKLY agree with her overbearing control freak ass beliefs. And thats one of the main reasons why an otherwise normal person would be overbearing and controling. She thinks that she needs to be a "mirror image" of the god she worships. Since the god of the bible has been CLEARLY PROVEN to be an evil, overbearing misogynistic control freak, that's why she is the way she is. She takes every single solitary word in the bible to be true. She thinks slavery is ABSOLUTLEY ok, that its OK to stone gay people and that ALL PEOPLE REGARDLESS OF AGE, STATUS GENDER RACE ETC should all burn in hell with their teeth clenching for eons and eternity. And since she has an UNDYING need to be an exact copy of this god who would do this she has become one of the worst most over bearing mothers i have EVER run into!!!! I have talked with and been friends with and am friends with CHRISTIAN moms who do NOT ACT like my mother does!!!!! So if you feel as if your mom is controlling just look at my example that i gave u of my REAL LIFE MOTHER WHO I AND MY 2 OLDER BROTHERS TERRIBLY HATE WITH A PASSION!!!!!!!!!
@@Pxa111 Very true. People in general have this naive belief that everybody and I do mean everybody that has a child, whether biological or not is a selfless, loving person and that's not true. Some people have kids for the most selfish reasons in the world and don't really care about their child/children. They want to appear to care about their child/children, but they don't really give a dang.
I can agree and disagree My parents control me My mother freaks out when she feels she is losing control and my dad just sides with my mother And I know for a fact they don’t love me. Because I’m a foster child. I know how it feels to be property passed around like trash the next person wants to get rid of. Im 17 years old and I can deal with anything else but, when my parents take shit from me such as going to the gym and my time at the gym IM GOING TO BE MAD LOL. Thanks for the video man.
It comes down to you. Are you willing to take a stand by saying "Mother do not come to my home and talk to me like a child. If you can't do that do not come."
This video is so oversimplifying the issue of controlling patents. To me it summarizes as " they have your best interest at heart, so just do what they ask you to". It doesn't take into account that even though they have the best interest at heart they don't always know what's good for their child as an individual, that also can inhibit the child's decision making process and ability to make conscious decisions for themselves. As a person who has controlling parents, it almost sounds as if to say, the problem is in your resisting. This is not necessarily the case and unfortunately this video does not demonstrate any of the other possible scenarios
My mother has my best interest at heart, my dad most certainky does not. I found this out the hard way at 22. Both are controlling and my mother's behaviour involves a fair amount of 'undoing' of my dad's abuse. Just like good cop bad cop
Heck,my parents are freaked out right now,because this guy and I want to date.I’m 18 and the guys is 23,so we’re both adults.But I have strict,Mexican parents and I’m their eldest daughter...Wish both of us some luck,because he’s coming over to meet my parents/family next week😔🤙💕
I can't even be sad or angry, because the won't approve of it.. Like instead of calming me down or something, instead they be angry with me.. I mean cmon..
@@Pxa111 I understand that it's impossible to address everyone and their specific cases. But I think the advices he gave here would put anyone with toxic/abusive parents in a dangerous situation, or at least worsen their situation.
I lost all my friends due to my parents being so controlling. At the age of 21 I still stay out past 11pm. They don't want to hang around a 21 year old that's still get pushed around like a small child
I hang out with my boyfriend and we only see each other once a week. I come home at around 9-9:30 (because it takes time to drive back home too) and they say I’m blindly in love not caring about studying
They always say “we want what’s best for you” but what parent want’s their child in a stressful career where it is guaranteed that they wouldn’t be able to be happy
Sometimes people who are toxic and controlling are actually bad people. Someone's controlling me that doesn't always mean I have to give up on my life and goals to get validation from them and be their puppet. This video is true for teenagers but when you're adult you know you can't live forever pleasing someone who can't make compromise you always have to compromise and live in their terms. You are an individual and they also have to make efforts to be in this relationship you're not only one in this dynamic.
Im 17 and i have decent grades just to satisfy them , when i go out they spam call me like crazy at 10pm even tho i went out at 9pm , i cant go out everyday for whatever reason , apparently when i want to travel with my OWN hard earned money i cant because its not safe wtf do u want ? Im not ur property im not yours ur not my boss u just happen to be my parent , i want to live my life with my own rules if u cant allow me to pursue my happiness then im better off dead
I feel the same, and I feel alone 😓 I can'r even communicate cuz of the level of controll that he has on me. The only way I try to scape is by books, art and music and I'm just so broken.
@@CaroDuran29 speak of the fucking devil , i just had a big ass fight with them and i see your reply right now , im sorry you feel that way , if you ever wanna talk about it , im here for you
Now this is the Problem Parents are Often too Worried that Something Will happen to Us and they WANT TO PROTECT US FROM NOT SUFFERING only SO WE CAN SUFFER MORE IN THE HOUSEHOLD THAN IN REAL LIFE cause of toxic Pple they think they are protecting you but they arent you ARE PAYING A PRICE A PRICE THAT THEY CONTROL YOU AND DICTATE YOU FOR LIFE AND YOU CANT GO OUT OF THEIR CONTROL.
my parents didn't allowed me to go out with my friends,hanging out with my friends,i can't ride motorcycle,i bought my first phone using my own money while other siblings they got phone from my parents,then i can't post any picture on my social media.if want to,i only can post 'straight pose' of me.don't u think that it's too much?! now,i don't even know wether they allow me to drive car or not.i hope one day i will leave this shit life soon.but i don't have any ways to get out of here.help me.i'm not good.
thedyana you need to start living for yourself, sometimes in life you’ve to disobey your parents to make them realise. It’s with me I’m working but my mum doesn’t like it & I can tell that my dad doesn’t either but I still work because that’s what i wanna do, that makes me happy. If they don’t like they’re gonna have to deal with it. In life you’ve to do you not them.
As a fellow hijabi,i can relate. I have a bedtime.At 11.30 pm.Let me just put that out there.I feel anxious doing anything around them.Their presence in general makes me second guess anythibg and I feel like i cant do anythibg right around them.My stomach churns just about anytime i do sth for myself like play music out loud or eat or ah...Its this ingrained fear.Especially of my father.I need a therapist.
@@shorouqtahraoui same here. It is like I wanna rebel so bad. They’ve been forbidding me from so many things it is like whatever I feel like doing is wrong. If you don’t pay attention you’re gonna feel as though you are a bad person for just wanting to live life on your own terms. Whenever she tells me not to do smthg now, it is like I want to do it even more bc I’m tired of always being told what to do/ not to do. I’m in rebellion kind of. But it ain’t even something wrong. It has become necessary not to lose my mind and sanity and feeling of self belonging lately. So i am not feeling bad for this.
relatable af bcs ive been going through the same shit. turning 21 this year but i still can’t make my own decisions. they want me to act like an adult but still treat me like a kid. i can’t even go out at night, drive or do anything i want. everytime i try to rebel they will bring up everything they provide. i can’t even live a life as a teenager. look at me now, i’m lifeless af. i don’t even know how to socialize and make new friends. always in my comfort zone.
I moved out when I was 18. I’m 20 now, still living on my own. I can admit that I’ve allowed my parents and grandmother to think they’re in control because I have used them as a crutch by doubting everything I am capable of doin on my own. Now they do take control of me life. I ruined an amazing relationship, that wasn’t wasn’t toxic, that was truly genuine because of the pressure they put on me to be single. I am definitely working on boundaries and speaking up respectfully.
"Your parents want what's best for you." THAT IS A FUCKING LIE!! They want what's best for securing their EGO's and then CALLING that what's "best" for you. After all my years of living, I had to learn that the hard way! My "parent's" lack of respect for my boundaries over the years has destroyed their relationship with me. After giving them every warning under the sun for years, I finally cut off contact with them. They only have themselves to blame. After a year of being no contact with them (who have been divorced for 25 years), it has been one of the best years of my life! I advise any grown ass man or woman who reads this who have parents with controlling behavior to warn them to BACK OFF. If they fail to comply, then you have the right to cut them off making them face the consequences for indulging in their ego's.
Same man i have that feeling mom sometimes wants me too get a job but i don't want to i will like to play sports to try it out but she stopped me from doing anything i am bored everyday like i said it time to make decisions
I feel like I'm in a cage all the time n there is something always watching me..it's really exhausting trying to hangout with friends or doing something that makes you happy while feeling like you are being watched all the time
My dad and my stepmom are like this I can’t make any decisions on my own and they use my disability as a excuse that I can’t move out when I’m 25 say I can never live on my own etc
Sas I am sorry to hear I hope one day you find the courage and help you need to make it out on your own I’m sure there has to be some kind of counselor or something that can help you do this
Up Yours and what’s sad is that I don’t even ever relay on my parents to help me because I work and I make my own my money and I know to clean and to do basically everything That you need to live on own I can use a stove etc so I’m pretty independent
I agree with all of this. I'm 17, and I know this but I wanna do what I needed to do. My mom treats me like I'm evil cuz I don't wanna go to church when I haven't felt the need. I understand that they what the best but sometimes it goes way too far.
I think I understand where you are coming from. My hope in doing this video is that maybe by understanding that all of us are free to do whatever we want, meaning, no one can "make" us do anything, we can move past the place of feeling controlled and look deeper at what is it that we really want in our life. It sounds like you love and respect your mom, maybe by changing your thoughts and beliefs about how you believe you mom sees you ( you said she treats you like you're evil) and recognizing that she loves you and wants you to be happy, maybe going to church with her doesn't need to be that big of a deal. Maybe you go with her out of respect for her, maybe you go with her just to spend time with her and to build the relationship with her, maybe by going to church with an open mind you begin to see some things differently than you do right now. Sometimes like I said, just moving past the feeling that someone is trying to control us can change everything!
You're old enough to decide for yourself on whether or not to go to church. There are probably kids your age at the church your mom goes to. Maybe, try going with her only to get with that group who you can relate to? You don't have to be around your mom when you are at the church service.
I really connect with Jesus but the mass aspect, I don't like the dogma around it so I don't go to church as well. Another thing is my parents would always make me "listen intently" To the homily that said respect your parents but when I told them to listen to the other half that says vice versa, they are suddenly deaf. Lost my faith in religion because of the 4th commandment
I’m 23 and I’m single mom , my mom has helps me a lot with taking care of my son when I’m working but other then that I pay almost all the bills and well my mom has always control who I talk too . I stop talking to people just to make her happy but now I’m done with that . I love my mom but I feel she’s over control. I let her know where I am always .
I am sure that your mother does what she does because she loves you and wants the best for you. It is a blessing that you have a mother who is able and willing to help where needed. Good job on striving to be independent and to fulfill your responsibilities as a single parent! To be honest, I don't know how single parents do it? Parenting can be very challenging even when there are two parents. But, you are right, your life is your life and you are responsible for your own happiness. The principal of control says that you are free to do whatever you want but there are also consequences for every choice that you make. So, you can try and keep your mom happy, but that is a false belief, you cannot make her happy, only influence her. You are the only person that you can make happy. So, it is most important that you are honest and true to yourself. As you are honest with yourself and as you strive to make self-interest choices, your mother will see that in you and will begin to trust you more and as a result, no longer feel a need to have to tell you what you should do and who you should talk to! :-)
It’s just out of love but it can be annoying I see this mostly in mothers who have sons they tend to care more for the son for some reason. Even if the son says he’s fine in his life they still ply they can’t help it
Two questions: What if what your parents think will make you happy is not what you think will make you happy or what will actually make you happy? What if you want to drink?
I am in my adulthood and my mother is still overprotective. She always needs to make sure I am okay. Like every day. Usually not only once. Sometimes every 5 hours. She would bombard me with phonecalls until I finally pick up. I told her she needs therapy but she doesnt want to. We have had endless convos about it that I dont like her behavior but it doesnt work.
This is for all ages. You are in control of your own life. You know what's best for you. The only approval you need for yourself is your own. Ignore all of the name-calling, guilt-tripping, forceful, manipulative behavior that your parents employ onto you. That's them trying to control you. Please know that it's all a trap when they enact those behaviors. Sure, you might love them, and they might love you, but you ultimately know what is best for you. Start growing some independence within yourself and eventually it will flow out of you.
I'm 18 and am currently going to college and already finished my first year. However, because of covid, I was forced to move back home from campus. Both of my parents are very christian and strict (will get to the examples in a bit) even with my dad being a pastor and in the army and is currently stationed far away so my mom is the only parent here rn. Since I lived on campus for two semesters, I'm used to finishing things on my own, hang out with friends (girls and guys), eat food @ midnight during finals, and walk around campus @1am. When I came back home because of covid (college kicked everyone except out-of-country students) out, I lost all of my freedom. When I want to hang with a friend or do something, I have to ask her. Now at that point, it is kinda OK because I'm back under her roof, however, she only likes certain friends of mine, wants me to have my location on 24/7, wants me to ask her if I can do a certain thing (like swimming or such) when I hang with my friends, and if I am allowed to, she wants me to wear a suit she's OK with (even though I bought my own suits other than the ones she wants me to wear). I have two part time jobs (one very part time and the other makes me work under my mother), do well in school (Dean's list), and even though I make mistakes, I try to make the right choices. Currently, I am waiting for my 2nd interview with a fast food place and just might get the job (but it confuses my mom to why I want a job other than the one she has me do) and the reason why it took me this long to get a job is because the plans my mom had me do over the summer + my summer class (in which ends today). My mom also doesn't like me to hang with my best friend that is a guy because she "doesn't trust guys" (her bad experience) and he's gay but how can I tell her that?? She's against LGBTQ+ and I'm not. People have the right to their own opinions and should be loved in any shape or form they are, even if you don't completely agree with it (my take on it). Growing up was hard with my dad being in the military and a pastor because of all the things they expected from me (and mostly me because my two older brothers are autistic so even though I'm the youngest, I've always had to act older and never had anyone to look up to). I understand that my mother loves me and doesn't want something bad happen to me, but bad things happen all the time and parents can't protect their children fully. Parents may help their children through problems if the kid wants help and be able to make their own decisions (good/bad) and learn from them. However, I feel trapped and very depressed because of how all my decisions we're taken away from me (and it got worse lately since she got a puppy *more for me to do*). I try to pay for my own things and I get around pretty well in fact. I pay for my car, my clothes, food, etc. And the times my mom wants to get things for me then holds it against me. If my brothers get on her nerves many times throughout a day, she yells at me and tries to control more. If I even ask her (and she says yes) to hang with friends and remind her every day that I'm hanging with that friend, that day, at that time, she forgets and gets mad at me for not asking her. Sorry guys for the long writing, it has just been hard lately and need to get it off my chest.
Thank you for your post. I lived away at school for 3 years. Then after graduation moved back home. Big mistake. Even though I had a good job, she was controlling every aspect of my life. Not surprising, she kicked me out of the house. And I left but made a bad marriage. My advice to anyone in that situation is "get out as soon as you can ". My best to you and a brighter future
i'm 22 and i just had my phone taken away by my mom. I'm a senior in college and I have my own money and my own car. I can't leave my house without telling them where i'm going and who i'm going with. I'm not allowed to go on trips with friends, dress my age or date.
"If you're telling me I can't, then the only way I can be in control is by doing the opposite of what you tell me." That explains a lot about people's decision making, actually. And then there's instances when every action one thinks leads to happiness actually doesn't lead to happiness, but I guess some have to learn the hard way then.
Yes! I feel like my mom is so controlling but every time I tell her she asks me "how? What makes you think that?" And idk how to explain it but every time she is controlling its in the moment...anyone else know what I'm talking about? Like its hard to tell them when they always have stuff they find out about me too that I'm doing something "bad"
Remember is your life. Start thinking about the kind of future you want and make a plan how to to get there and skill you need. And start. You have to look out for yourself.
@@yesean59 how I have to tell my mom when I'm going to take a shower u want me to even have faith that I'm going to hold myself from suicide how can I make a plan 😔
This isn't about just them controlling u i think it brings depression and guilt about mistake that u just did unknowingly, they should be more understanding or else the consequences would be very disastrous
@@principlebasedliving3294 absolutely if you mind me asking: why do I feel so bad upset and guilty after standing up for myself to a work client? Even if it involves money and I’m working on other business ventures that have higher importance?
I'm 16 but they still want to control me they made me choose if I should stay at my current cousins or move to my other cousins house she made me choose he threatened to take my phone
Myself i have controlling parents,mostly my father. As a girl,18,i should already make my own decisions about my body,my actions,my decisions for university,and yet he always gets mad for my decisions and tells me he wants something else for me to do,saying that he is always right.But most of the times he is not,and when i try to prove him wrong,he gets even more mad and calls me rude,disrespectful,dumb,etc. Mom just backs him up.For 5 years i keep getting arguements,and they always make me feel hollow,depressed,i keep crying and most of the time i give up on some things because of them.I am sick of them controlling me,i know what is best for me and my future,and them not supporting and believing i can make good decisions hurts me,i feel backstabbed.I don't know what to do anymore. I am constantly doing the opposite as they say,but i have a feeling at some point in life we won't talk anymore,especially me and my father.
I see in the comments the same story told from a different perspective. You want to do something but your parents tell you no. They might even try to make you feel bad for doing what you did. When this happens you need to learn how to not react to negative comments, think of criticism as a reflection on them and not you. Don't surrender and give that reaction they want from you. Put your foot down tell them what you want and tell them its final.
I don't like it when my mom doesn't let me put stuff in my room and bring stuff from my dad's house. It frustrates me because I want control over my room. What's worse is I am a sensitive person and whatever puts me down REALLY puts me down (makes me sad)
You forgot one part. Some parents get mad at you if you don’t take their advice. They guilt trip you and criticize you and call you names. You’re missing a major part here. Some parents are truly narcissistic and don’t want what’s best for you. They want what makes them look best as a parent. This video is not very helpful tbh
Sir, I don't wanna drink alcohol or anything bad, I just wanna make SIMPLE choices like my own style or what to eat (I wanna be vegan, but my parents don't). We are not here because we want to go illegal, we just wanna be able to live as a normal human being. I completely understand a lot of things that my parents don't want me to do, but the problem is that they are trying to control every single aspect of my life. Everyone that came to see this video is passing through THIS kind of situation, where you can barely breath in your own way without being yelled at.
My mom is not letting me do Pack clothes in my luggage She always says you are a adult and She’s not letting me do my own luggage what the hell this is not fair I’m going to be 21 in April this is not fair
Limiting lifes freedom while destroying opportunity for life improvement turns you into your parents property, & obligates dependence. When conversations only go one way w/o the opportunity for discussion or change, you're a slave.
My mom always means well but I think she needs to back off a bit I’m 30 and she’s always constantly worried about me it stresses me out. Always asking if I need money always trying to get information out of me and I’ve said I’ll come to you if I need any help but she can’t help herself.
Be in control by doing everything your parents tell you! I'm sorry that makes no sense. My parents told me to move back in with them. And I did and now I regret it. Now they involve me in their financial plans, tell me what jobs I should get. IT doesn't get less, it gets worst because your obedience reinforces their behavior.
I love this video so many takeaways, love the idea of making self-interest decisions, as it’s so true. Being constantly manipulated and controlled is no fun.
4:29 You mean because they lack self-love. Not that they are "loving" but that they are full of shame. Because they are insecure and have wounds that are going unresolved. They hold trauma and shame. They don't believe the child is capable. They may have authoritarian parenting style. They don't respect boundaries because of enmeshment. They think the child is a toy or an object of validation. They believe that the child should be what they want. No respect for individual identity. Seems like a loaded question. Most cases parents do express "love" but I'd consider that the opposite. Not respecting the child for being human. Don't forget about Erik Ericksons stage 2 of human development. That children need autonomy and the parents can create a shame based identity as a result of ignorance.
And i escaped to another country and they still didn't get it. They still thought that i was just mistaken and abused me over the phone. Both me and my suster. My suster now works for them and its terrible. All my dads wrong doing is turned into someone elses problem. So much time stolen
my mum thinks she know everything about adhd because I have it but she doesn’t understand, she is controlling me and wont let me do anything. Literally about 4 weeks ago everything was lovely and nice but now she gives me no free will, she takes me out when I hate it and if I don’t come she takes everything I like making me angry making her take it away more, it’s an endless cycle and I don’t think I will escape anytime soon. She says “if you stop getting angry I will let you back on” but I can’t I know she won’t do it. I try to tell her to stop and let me do stuff again but she doesn’t realise that she has put me in an endless cycle of this. It has made my life so boring and sad. I only come because if I don’t she will take away everything I like and actually enjoy. It makes me upset and I’m actually crying while writing this. I just really don’t want this anymore and want to be free again to do what I want. She also should not take me out anyway because or coronavirus. It just makes me sad and she keeps giving me pills but they make me sad. She never listens to me. She keeps giving me meds because she thinks it helps but it doesn’t. I asked her why are you so so controlling and she said “I don’t care if I’m controlling”. I wish I could tell her I don’t like this hole I’m stuck in. She is kind but she just put me in this hole and it makes me sad and ruins my mental health health. She thinks taking me out helps but it just puts me in this cycle.
but what if you truly do not want to do what your parent/parents want you to do, cuz you don't see it as good for you, or it is something you don't want to do.
I'm sorry but my mom is extremely arragont and stubborn, there's nothing I can do to change her, so I have just decided to move out. It will only be for another 7 months until I go back to college(if the pandemic is over, hopefully) "because they love you" No, that's not why. My mom is notorious for trying to control others. It's why my dad left her. I think she's a narcissist.
Im 30 years old and I still live with my dad I don’t have a job cause im on ssi but when covid is over im going to look for a job and I wanna save money and move to South Korea but my dad won’t let me he says “what if u move to korea and can’t come bck for a few years and i pass away, ur not moving there until i die” I know how to take care of myself i pay rent every month, i sweep everyday, mop every week, do laundry, sometimes clean the whole kitchen me and my dad take turns on tht i unload the dishwasher and he reloads it, i take care of the cats i do alot and he still won’t let me move what can i do?
Is this fair (please write response anyone) so I see my girlfriend only at weekends and the whole week im working, I'm nearly 15 and nearly finished high school, my mum and dad tell me what I can and can't do all the time , no staying out too late they push a curfew on a Friday or Saturday night for 7:15 , she doesn't like it when I confront her about been too controlling she just says not now and shouts
My father and his girlfriend try to force me to go to school and always be at their house 24/7 anytime I have down time and want to relax they want me there. Whenever I have plans they ruin them. And if I don’t show they blame me in trouble then they drag me to AA meetings which is annoying. Can someone help me all I do wrong is smoke a fucking plant for my godamn adhd please help
my parents make me do tennis and I hate it so so much. its like they don't repeat what I love and want to do in life and if they can't respect that then I don't know what they respect but its clearly not me
I’m 21 yrs old and I been living w my gma for the past few months and we came to visit family this week and my mom is literally telling me that I’m moving back with her, basically trying to force me to live with her. It’s like she doesn’t realize that I’m NOT A CHILD and can live w whoever I want. But what she doesn’t know is that when my grandma is ready to leave I’m going w her. She can try all she wants to force me to stay but I’m not staying.
My mum yelled at me for YEARS to get me to join this teaching assistant agency, and then this year when they sent me jobs in my area she got me to turn them down. I just don’t know what she wants.
You know what she wants, she wants to control you. You're letting her! thats the key to avoiding control, you can change and calmly say no thanks when she tries to control everything.
My parents like making rly dumb rules to control me and my siblings. Today they decided to make a rule that we only get our phones 1 hour MAX per day and that’s if they even allow us to use them at all. And that we have to chop and stack wood for an hour every single day. I do a 1 and a half hour workout at my school every day, and I have a tennis camp for 2 hours. You might think, oh well she has plenty of time for her own hobbies, well I might have time, but not the energy. I like working with horses(ofc my parents don’t let me have my own horse so I work with my neighbors), and rn I’m clearing a patch of land to have a wildflower meadow, so basically I have physical hobbies. I haven’t gotten together with a friend in 9 months, and I was virtual the whole school year, so I don’t have almost any friends. In the winter/early spring we have to help make maple syrup. We have to walk all over the woods, in the deep snow, and collect and carry sap from over a 100 buckets. Then we have to carry all the sap all the way back to cook it. That’s on top of all the normal chores we have every day. And then we’re supposed to go to school for 7 hours a day, plus be in at least 2 sports?! When do I get any time for my own hobbies?! I’m tired of all their restrictions and rules and chores. How come they make me spend time working on their hobbies but they won’t let me get a goat like I wanted. I don’t ask for much, but I rly wanted a goat and they flat out said absolutely not. All we have are dogs, cats, and chickens, so it’s not like we have too many animals already. And now I’m in my room balling bc I’ve been so isolated for so long.
Came to this video for advice. I liked the video until the last section. I did that method that was suggested as they would have an increase in trust with me. And it didn't go as planned as they took advantage of it. It started off great as they stopped asking me questions for a while. I had some resistance at first. But then it became demanding as they wanted more from me. Even took some of my free time away. Even gave my mother money once as she didn't have any at the time. And still said that they didn't trust me. Plus they emotionally manipulated me into dependency without them knowing it. And as I did what they asked me, it kinda hurt that they still don't trust me. Well, my dad says that often. And now I am out of a job, due to just finishing college a year back. And had a tough time finding one at the moment. By the way, I am in my early thirties by the way and they still want to control me. Just because I became unemployed all of a sudden. I had some small jobs here and there. But I didn't get to keep the money due to other expenses. Worse is that I am stuck under their roof. As it is worse, my mental health is declining. They suggested I do volunteer work but that is not my personality. So it will just be an unhappy experience to be there. No one wants a unhappy volunteer.
I used to have an addiction to video games, and I would constantly procrastinate everything that I was supposed to do, up until one day where I decided to quit gaming for a bit so I could focus on more important stuff but now when I would like to play for a hour or so, it comes to the point where I have no free time, and do more chores than anyone. Like I get you pay the Bill's and buy me nice things here and there but I'm not going to spend my whole day cleaning and working hard for free so you can relax for 10 minutes. C'mon I'm just a kid who could use some more attention.
Heal the shame that your parents throw at you. Shame is the belief. "I am not enough". I grew up playing videogames all the time too. Sometimes it's easier to escape from pain with these things. Rather than doing the hard work of heal our shame and pain. Addictions are just the symptom of having a shame based identity. Look up toxic shame.
so your point is: in order to stop your parents from controlling you is to choose to obey them? Then you say the parents should be obeyed bc they want the best for you (as if they don't make mistakes regardless of their intentions).
The good point you make is that sometimes we do the opposite of what our parents command bc we want freedom, but that doesn't mean we should just obey their commands.
I’m 27 and I’ve done nothing but all the right things in my life. But my mom still doesn’t trust me. She listens in on my phone calls, put monitors every possible area of the house, and will go crazy and keep calling non-stop if I miss a phone call. She forces her way to her manage my time as she pleases. I can’t ever travel anywhere without her permission, otherwise she threatens disowning me. It’s a constant struggle between wanting to just live by my own rules or losing my family (being disowned)
It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. The message of my video is that we have the ability to make choices in all of our situations but we don’t get to choose or control the outcomes. Your mom can’t “control “ what you do but she can influence. Once you can recognize that you have a choice, it frees you. You can choose to do what your mom wants you to do and receive the benefits of that or you can choose to do whatever you want and then experience the consequences of those choices. That is how all of life works. We can “choose “ to do whatever we want but their are consequences in relation to the choices we make. It is possible that even if you did do what you want, that your mom may choose not to disown you. It may be a threat on her part to try and control you and if you forced her hand, she may not go through with it. She may try to control you in other ways or she might disown you at which point you would be free from her control but would also forfeit any of the benefits that you may get from having a relationship with her. The most important thing is to ask yourself what this situation is trying to teach you! I wish you the very best
Im having my parents still controlling me at age 32! Even if i want to leave the house things can get extremely nasty ill even have threats of violence. Ok m trying everything to move back out. Any advice for dealing with it?
Im 24 and still living with my mom, she still treats me like a child. She doesn’t like me going out so I’m pretty antisocial but I have one friend that I hang out from time to time but my mom disapproves of him. I work a part-time job and made a new friend there and we’ve been discussing for months on going on a little road trip in April out of town to a convention in Texas it’s only 8hrs away and for three days. As of now I have my ticket ready and my days for that weekend covered i figured I’m an adult I don’t need to get her permission just give her a heads up early on that I’m going. She told me “no” straight up. I told her I had everything already ready and paid for and just told me “that’s your problem”. She won’t listen to me and I told my family if they could talk to her to make her understand that I’m an adult. All I want is some freedom for one weekend, that’s all I ask for. I sometimes get jealous of my cousins that are a little younger than me hanging out with there friends because I long for that freedom. I know she’s overprotective but idk how to make her understand that it’s time for her to stop making decisions for me and to start letting me go. I don’t want to resent her when I’m older but I also want to have a life where I can discover myself.
Thanks for your response. You seem like a smart person and it also seems like you love and respect your mom but just want her to do the same for you. Here is a thought and maybe you won’t like it but maybe she treats you like a child because in some ways you still act like a child? You are 24 which means you have been an adult for 6 years! Why are you still living with your mom? If it is because you can’t afford to move out, that is on you. There are a lot of 24 year olds that are independent and living on their own. As long as you are living in your moms home she has some say on what you do and don’t do in exchange for the privilege of living in her home. My recommendation is to show your mom that you are an adult by finding an apartment and moving out and begin taking care of yourself. She may not like this but it will show her that you can take care of yourself. I don’t know if you have watched any of my other videos but I would encourage you to do so. You may find some information there that you will find helpful! I wish you the very best!
My parents threaten to physically hurt me if I try to move out from their house. They say the words like if you ever move out from this house I will find you and I'll break all bones in your body or I gave life to you and I can take it away from you. And they also say that they would get a heart attack and die and it would be my fault! I am scared to death but I don't know what I should do beacuse of the fear I have from them. Please help! How do I protect myself? 😣
Im 36 and my dad calls everytime someone pulls up in my driveway he lives across the street if i dont answer he comes over and embarrasses the living hell out me comes over with an attotide arges with me in front of my company especially if its any male . I cant move but he took illegal possession of my house n all to control me so if i dont listen he will throw me out i cant take it no more
My parents control me by not going on vacation with my friend and family that I know from the bronx. I need a break from my parents sometimes. I don't control my father for the personal things he don't do.
This isn’t helping but I get what you’re saying , my parents don’t wanna accept me for who I am but they do that because they love me??? What brings me happiness is that knowing somebody is here for me and I don’t think there is somebody there.
I’m 18 and my parents still try to control me. It is very draining and frustrating bc I can’t get out and be alone or do things that I wanna do. College is my only option that will get me away from home. I hate school but I’m willing to go to college just to gain my freedom
This was VERY empowering, uplifting, and changing!!! It gave me wisdom and a whole new perspective of life I have NEVER thought of before!! Video liked and you gained one more loyal subscriber!!!! Thank you so much for creating this video, beautifully worded...God bless you!!!
I’m 35, could my parents and 25 year old half brother legally get the cops to help them control me ? ( even though I’m not suicidal nor do I do any other thing illegal as well)
I don't know what country you live in, but if it's in the U.S., you could move to another state, and never give them the address. They can't do squat to you then.
And my mom always takes my phone just because I’m on it like wtf else am I supposed to do and taking our phones won’t do anything but cause us different issues I’ve had depression because of my parents I’m done
Im 18, my parents held me back a year(even though i passed that year) in seventh grade, meaning i will graduate well over 19. i cant move out yet due to not having the time to work a FT job, and i am just not financially supported to do so. my parents threaten me with the “you live under my roof” argument and i fear if i go too far in rebelling i will be kicked out. im not into drugs or partying so the things i want to do arent too extreme, i just want to be the one in control. what can i do.
If you really want to be in control then you need to take responsibility and accountability for your life. Gain the known and skills that you need to be successful and independent but as long as you live in your parents home, they get to decide how they want things to be in their home. You can do it!
How do you get parents to stop yelling and cussing and how do you get them to not spray toxic chemicals and how do you get them to clean up after themselves?
Doing it because I trust my parents or out of self interest doesn't work for me. I'm taking steps to be healthy, perfecting my sleep getting sunlight in the morning, eating healthy, exercising, meditating. My parents see me do this and have their ego hurt or something, I don't understand this because they work in the field of health, but I did my research, cited the studies, and they continue to tell me that these things don't work... IT HAS WORKED AND IT CONTINUES TO DO SO. They then begin bringing mediocre problems that come with my healthy habits - such as the noise of the stairs when I when up. I will NOT destroy my entire health, delete my entire morning routine, just to not go down the stairs. Don't I have a right to use the bloody stairs? I'm 17, working on a business, and this sort of this destroys everything I have built. I'm working hard to earn money so that I can give them an early retirement, and live a happy successful life, and then im being ENCOURAGED to consume alcohol, and then groan/give excuses when I talk about the problems with that decision... But it is becoming rules. It is moving from suggestions to commands as our health becomes more polarised to eachother.
Thanks for your comments. It sounds like your parents are “trying” to control you but it also sounds like you are making your own choices. So the cool thing about this is even though your parents may “try” to control you, you still get to choose how you are going to respond. You can either comply with what your parents are wanting you to do or not and either way, you are the one that experiences the consequences or outcomes of your choices! It sounds like you are very motivated and making lots of self interest choices!
Wow, I think this is a very well phrased, well written description of your experience on your life especially for a teenager. At 17, I could never do this.😅
My parents are separating and i love them both but I hate it when they are so overprotective of what I do online. I have met a couple friends that I am hiding from my parents. They are really polite, respectful, and kind friends. How do I tell them that I have friends online?
I have let my parents control me my whole life, and because of it I'm now depressed,sad, lonely! It's like I have watched people live life to the fullest, while I'm standing behind a fence.
I know EXACTLY how u feel
Do u have a job? How old are you.
I understand because same
same
EXACTLY
When you’ve finally had enough 💀
ngl your profile pic shows youre probably 9 years old.
Itachi
ong
omg ur pfp
As a 27 year old I put my foot down and decided to live with my boyfriend. I had to choose between my dad or him and it wasn't fair.
I think this video lacks some insight on the toxic nature of being controlled.
I was thinking the same thing. This video is from a naive point of view
Literally
@@Pxa111 THIS!!!
I think he’s just another controlling parent justifying his actions by saying he doing it out of love. Bullshit.
exactly 100%
Your parents don't always love you and have your best interest at heart. Sometimes they're narcissistic and want things their way therefore they want to control you. This video brings true for parents that are loving and actually care about their children which is rare these days.
Thanks for your comments. My video is not saying that all parents are loving or that all parents are unloving. I have many other videos that I would encourage you to view if you are really interested in improving your relationships. What I do believe is that most people are good and that we behave in ways that we think will “make us happy”. Our intent most of the time is not to “hurt” others unless we are feeling hurt and then we want to “hurt” back. The truth is, and when we truly understand this, we can be truly happy and free, is that no one can control us, other than physically controlling us if they are bigger and stronger, we are free to do whatever we want in the place we are at in our life but we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions. So, I don’t have to do what my parents want me to do but their are consequences for the choices I make
And the last thing is, and this may be difficult to understand or agree with, but no one can “hurt” another person. They can do hurtful things but the person who is the recipient of the hurtful actions gets to choose what they want to do with it. Many people are able to take hurtful and unpleasant experiences and turn them into something helpful and beneficial
It’s pretty damn annoying when your parents just don’t trust you anymore and every time you ask for something they will say no, they control your life and they force you to do some things that you don’t like I’m in a situation when my parents black mail me if I don’t do some tasks they take everything I like and I can’t stand up because I will always lose, it’s sad and depressing , It’s a situation that you can’t escape from
Bro swear to god i feel you 🙏🏽
Anymore?They never did.Other than my dad,he doesn’t over control me
Exactly what im experiencing
I'm old enough to do literally anything I want to an extent, and my mom literally got onto me for SNIPPING the dead ends off my hair smh. So now she said we aren't able to have shut bathroom doors? She just doesnt let me do the smallest things.
Move out bro
I think an issue is that a lot of times young people internalize their parents control such that they begin to doubt themselves and feel incapable of making their own decisions or even just making good decisions. It's probably difficult to overcome that indoctrination, good psychologists are definitely beneficial in those cases
I absolutely agree with you. Oftentimes the parents are not the problem but the (internalized) parents within us are.
My whole fucking life. She's a fuckin hypocrite too!!
This began in the neo-Nazi system created by a Prussian in the 1700s, a system that is still standing today and that makes children, young people, adults become products of the system, THE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM.
And you who read this comment will undoubtedly become successful in life.
my goal in life is to not be like my parents.
Fr!
Amen
BINGO 🎯
I feel that sometimes.😂
I’m 20 and my mom controls every aspect of my life and I have no freedom 🙃
i feel for you man, this is a pretty sucky society we live in
Just got to move out of their home
@@scottydippin1984 lucky you. I once managed to move out, but they made de feel so guilty for ''abandoning them'' and I had to move back. Now I'm back to living like a 13 yo kid again.
Same bro i'm 22
I am the same way. I am also 20 years old about to be 21 in just a few months. My mom is the EXACT same way because the god of the bible is that way. See my mom is the kind of mom who doesnt want to listen to ANYTHING ELSE BUT THE BIBLE. She will NEVER listen to anything that might come into contradiction with her beliefs. She will NEVER listen to pop music or scientists who don't STRICKLY agree with her overbearing control freak ass beliefs. And thats one of the main reasons why an otherwise normal person would be overbearing and controling. She thinks that she needs to be a "mirror image" of the god she worships. Since the god of the bible has been CLEARLY PROVEN to be an evil, overbearing misogynistic control freak, that's why she is the way she is. She takes every single solitary word in the bible to be true. She thinks slavery is ABSOLUTLEY ok, that its OK to stone gay people and that ALL PEOPLE REGARDLESS OF AGE, STATUS GENDER RACE ETC should all burn in hell with their teeth clenching for eons and eternity. And since she has an UNDYING need to be an exact copy of this god who would do this she has become one of the worst most over bearing mothers i have EVER run into!!!! I have talked with and been friends with and am friends with CHRISTIAN moms who do NOT ACT like my mother does!!!!! So if you feel as if your mom is controlling just look at my example that i gave u of my REAL LIFE MOTHER WHO I AND MY 2 OLDER BROTHERS TERRIBLY HATE WITH A PASSION!!!!!!!!!
This video only tells one thing "LET YOUR PARENTS CONTROL YOU"
@@Pxa111 Very true. People in general have this naive belief that everybody and I do mean everybody that has a child, whether biological or not is a selfless, loving person and that's not true. Some people have kids for the most selfish reasons in the world and don't really care about their child/children. They want to appear to care about their child/children, but they don't really give a dang.
You guys are so torchie..
I have to say but this video is actually shit
Definitely not 😂
I can agree and disagree
My parents control me
My mother freaks out when she feels she is losing control and my dad just sides with my mother
And I know for a fact they don’t love me.
Because I’m a foster child.
I know how it feels to be property passed around like trash the next person wants to get rid of.
Im 17 years old and I can deal with anything else but, when my parents take shit from me such as going to the gym and my time at the gym IM GOING TO BE MAD LOL.
Thanks for the video man.
I have a controlling mother, I'm 35 n moved out and she still treat me like I'm still 16, she claims that she can't help it.
Scotty Dippin Same here you in yo own shit and they still treating you like a child. So annoying!!
It comes down to you. Are you willing to take a stand by saying "Mother do not come to my home and talk to me like a child. If you can't do that do not come."
You know, I'm wondering if a lot of us lack the ability to assert ourselves.
My mom kinda like that she means well and loves me but she just can’t help it and how do you say back off without hurting your mothers feelings
@@ryans413it ain't no other way to say it kindly but saying it ( BACK OFF MOM IM GROWN NOW )
This video is so oversimplifying the issue of controlling patents. To me it summarizes as " they have your best interest at heart, so just do what they ask you to". It doesn't take into account that even though they have the best interest at heart they don't always know what's good for their child as an individual, that also can inhibit the child's decision making process and ability to make conscious decisions for themselves. As a person who has controlling parents, it almost sounds as if to say, the problem is in your resisting. This is not necessarily the case and unfortunately this video does not demonstrate any of the other possible scenarios
Thank you for saving my time ⌚
My mother has my best interest at heart, my dad most certainky does not. I found this out the hard way at 22.
Both are controlling and my mother's behaviour involves a fair amount of 'undoing' of my dad's abuse. Just like good cop bad cop
“Do not do…xyz” mostly comes with severe consequences, moral obligations, guilt and a whole lot of social conditioning.
I'm not allowed to cut my hair into a boy-cut because there will be "severe consequences"
Is that's good example? ._.
Clay Allison I would just go back inside anyways.
Heck,my parents are freaked out right now,because this guy and I want to date.I’m 18 and the guys is 23,so we’re both adults.But I have strict,Mexican parents and I’m their eldest daughter...Wish both of us some luck,because he’s coming over to meet my parents/family next week😔🤙💕
@@noeminoyola5657 hope it went well
I can't even be sad or angry, because the won't approve of it..
Like instead of calming me down or something, instead they be angry with me..
I mean cmon..
Sir I know I'm in control of my life. The problem is my parents think they are too and will physically stop me from acting on my decisions.
@@Pxa111 I understand that it's impossible to address everyone and their specific cases. But I think the advices he gave here would put anyone with toxic/abusive parents in a dangerous situation, or at least worsen their situation.
Lol literally. Read some books it helps I promise
@@eaiza8285 this wasn't for toxic parent go look up the abusive parent escape video for dummies..
@@luke-fh9gf what books?
@@eaiza8285 lmao why the fuck did I type that...hope ur doing ok
I lost all my friends due to my parents being so controlling. At the age of 21 I still stay out past 11pm. They don't want to hang around a 21 year old that's still get pushed around like a small child
I hang out with my boyfriend and we only see each other once a week. I come home at around 9-9:30 (because it takes time to drive back home too) and they say I’m blindly in love not caring about studying
I wasn't allowed out unless it was for work and then no more than 5 minutes late.
Move out
Resistance is a natural response and helps you not be controlled. Helps you be independent as well.
I try and stand up to my mom who basically controls my whole life. But she takes that as I’m being disrespectful 🙄
I tried this yesterday I said how I feel and she laughed in my face
Same here @ both of you
They always say “we want what’s best for you” but what parent want’s their child in a stressful career where it is guaranteed that they wouldn’t be able to be happy
Sounds so familiar
Sometimes people who are toxic and controlling are actually bad people. Someone's controlling me that doesn't always mean I have to give up on my life and goals to get validation from them and be their puppet. This video is true for teenagers but when you're adult you know you can't live forever pleasing someone who can't make compromise you always have to compromise and live in their terms. You are an individual and they also have to make efforts to be in this relationship you're not only one in this dynamic.
Im 17 and i have decent grades just to satisfy them , when i go out they spam call me like crazy at 10pm even tho i went out at 9pm , i cant go out everyday for whatever reason , apparently when i want to travel with my OWN hard earned money i cant because its not safe wtf do u want ? Im not ur property im not yours ur not my boss u just happen to be my parent , i want to live my life with my own rules if u cant allow me to pursue my happiness then im better off dead
I feel the same, and I feel alone 😓 I can'r even communicate cuz of the level of controll that he has on me. The only way I try to scape is by books, art and music and I'm just so broken.
@@CaroDuran29 speak of the fucking devil , i just had a big ass fight with them and i see your reply right now , im sorry you feel that way , if you ever wanna talk about it , im here for you
At least you are allowed to earn money.
I can't get an ID, because it costs money, and without an ID I can't get a job.
Now this is the Problem Parents are Often too Worried that Something Will happen to Us and they WANT TO PROTECT US FROM NOT SUFFERING only SO WE CAN SUFFER MORE IN THE HOUSEHOLD THAN IN REAL LIFE cause of toxic Pple they think they are protecting you but they arent you ARE PAYING A PRICE A PRICE THAT THEY CONTROL YOU AND DICTATE YOU FOR LIFE AND YOU CANT GO OUT OF THEIR CONTROL.
you're 18 now, hope now you can fuck them and live your life
my parents didn't allowed me to go out with my friends,hanging out with my friends,i can't ride motorcycle,i bought my first phone using my own money while other siblings they got phone from my parents,then i can't post any picture on my social media.if want to,i only can post 'straight pose' of me.don't u think that it's too much?! now,i don't even know wether they allow me to drive car or not.i hope one day i will leave this shit life soon.but i don't have any ways to get out of here.help me.i'm not good.
thedyana you need to start living for yourself, sometimes in life you’ve to disobey your parents to make them realise. It’s with me I’m working but my mum doesn’t like it & I can tell that my dad doesn’t either but I still work because that’s what i wanna do, that makes me happy. If they don’t like they’re gonna have to deal with it. In life you’ve to do you not them.
As a fellow hijabi,i can relate.
I have a bedtime.At 11.30 pm.Let me just put that out there.I feel anxious doing anything around them.Their presence in general makes me second guess anythibg and I feel like i cant do anythibg right around them.My stomach churns just about anytime i do sth for myself like play music out loud or eat or ah...Its this ingrained fear.Especially of my father.I need a therapist.
@@shorouqtahraoui same here. It is like I wanna rebel so bad. They’ve been forbidding me from so many things it is like whatever I feel like doing is wrong. If you don’t pay attention you’re gonna feel as though you are a bad person for just wanting to live life on your own terms. Whenever she tells me not to do smthg now, it is like I want to do it even more bc I’m tired of always being told what to do/ not to do. I’m in rebellion kind of. But it ain’t even something wrong. It has become necessary not to lose my mind and sanity and feeling of self belonging lately. So i am not feeling bad for this.
relatable af bcs ive been going through the same shit. turning 21 this year but i still can’t make my own decisions. they want me to act like an adult but still treat me like a kid. i can’t even go out at night, drive or do anything i want. everytime i try to rebel they will bring up everything they provide. i can’t even live a life as a teenager.
look at me now, i’m lifeless af. i don’t even know how to socialize and make new friends. always in my comfort zone.
I moved out when I was 18. I’m 20 now, still living on my own. I can admit that I’ve allowed my parents and grandmother to think they’re in control because I have used them as a crutch by doubting everything I am capable of doin on my own. Now they do take control of me life. I ruined an amazing relationship, that wasn’t wasn’t toxic, that was truly genuine because of the pressure they put on me to be single. I am definitely working on boundaries and speaking up respectfully.
"Your parents want what's best for you." THAT IS A FUCKING LIE!! They want what's best for securing their EGO's and then CALLING that what's "best" for you. After all my years of living, I had to learn that the hard way! My "parent's" lack of respect for my boundaries over the years has destroyed their relationship with me. After giving them every warning under the sun for years, I finally cut off contact with them. They only have themselves to blame. After a year of being no contact with them (who have been divorced for 25 years), it has been one of the best years of my life! I advise any grown ass man or woman who reads this who have parents with controlling behavior to warn them to BACK OFF. If they fail to comply, then you have the right to cut them off making them face the consequences for indulging in their ego's.
Im thinking of doing this. Thanks for writing this.
You don’t know what the fuc* I have been through! I have been emotionally and physically abused in my teen years.
Same man i have that feeling mom sometimes wants me too get a job but i don't want to i will like to play sports to try it out but she stopped me from doing anything i am bored everyday like i said it time to make decisions
@@masterhighlights9139 Thank you for understanding!
@@masterhighlights9139 Go search for my TH-cam name Sam. I posted a CTR Gameplay video, the video title CTR Gameplay.
@@Sonic-2624 your welcome
A breakup with a narcissist ex taught me my mom was controlling and narcissistic herself who taught me to people please . WE ARE WAKING UP !!!!!!!!!
I feel like I'm in a cage all the time n there is something always watching me..it's really exhausting trying to hangout with friends or doing something that makes you happy while feeling like you are being watched all the time
My dad and my stepmom are like this I can’t make any decisions on my own and they use my disability as a excuse that I can’t move out when I’m 25 say I can never live on my own etc
Sas I am sorry to hear I hope one day you find the courage and help you need to make it out on your own I’m sure there has to be some kind of counselor or something that can help you do this
Up Yours and what’s sad is that I don’t even ever relay on my parents to help me because I work and I make my own my money and I know to clean and to do basically everything That you need to live on own I can use a stove etc so I’m pretty independent
megan yeah buddy yeah the best bet is to find someone to professionally assist you in your move
I agree with all of this.
I'm 17, and I know this but I wanna do what I needed to do. My mom treats me like I'm evil cuz I don't wanna go to church when I haven't felt the need. I understand that they what the best but sometimes it goes way too far.
I think I understand where you are coming from. My hope in doing this video is that maybe by understanding that all of us are free to do whatever we want, meaning, no one can "make" us do anything, we can move past the place of feeling controlled and look deeper at what is it that we really want in our life. It sounds like you love and respect your mom, maybe by changing your thoughts and beliefs about how you believe you mom sees you ( you said she treats you like you're evil) and recognizing that she loves you and wants you to be happy, maybe going to church with her doesn't need to be that big of a deal. Maybe you go with her out of respect for her, maybe you go with her just to spend time with her and to build the relationship with her, maybe by going to church with an open mind you begin to see some things differently than you do right now. Sometimes like I said, just moving past the feeling that someone is trying to control us can change everything!
You're old enough to decide for yourself on whether or not to go to church. There are probably kids your age at the church your mom goes to. Maybe, try going with her only to get with that group who you can relate to? You don't have to be around your mom when you are at the church service.
This literally my life tbh...buh im 16
Gen z is out here struggling
I really connect with Jesus but the mass aspect, I don't like the dogma around it so I don't go to church as well. Another thing is my parents would always make me "listen intently" To the homily that said respect your parents but when I told them to listen to the other half that says vice versa, they are suddenly deaf. Lost my faith in religion because of the 4th commandment
I’m 23 and I’m single mom , my mom has helps me a lot with taking care of my son when I’m working but other then that I pay almost all the bills and well my mom has always control who I talk too . I stop talking to people just to make her happy but now I’m done with that . I love my mom but I feel she’s over control. I let her know where I am always .
I am sure that your mother does what she does because she loves you and wants the best for you. It is a blessing that you have a mother who is able and willing to help where needed. Good job on striving to be independent and to fulfill your responsibilities as a single parent! To be honest, I don't know how single parents do it? Parenting can be very challenging even when there are two parents. But, you are right, your life is your life and you are responsible for your own happiness. The principal of control says that you are free to do whatever you want but there are also consequences for every choice that you make. So, you can try and keep your mom happy, but that is a false belief, you cannot make her happy, only influence her. You are the only person that you can make happy. So, it is most important that you are honest and true to yourself. As you are honest with yourself and as you strive to make self-interest choices, your mother will see that in you and will begin to trust you more and as a result, no longer feel a need to have to tell you what you should do and who you should talk to! :-)
It’s just out of love but it can be annoying I see this mostly in mothers who have sons they tend to care more for the son for some reason. Even if the son says he’s fine in his life they still ply they can’t help it
The worst thing is that they think that controling ly life will keep me safe from problemes not knowing that they are ruining my whole future
Two questions:
What if what your parents think will make you happy is not what you think will make you happy or what will actually make you happy?
What if you want to drink?
Super hard when you've got a Narcissist parent. Enforce strong boundaries including distancing.
Can I tell the police that my parents r not letting me live my life
@goduskychris Chris Godusky OK but what shall I do about it I'm trying to kill myself because of them
same
If living your life is so important why you would think of killing yourself. First focus on yourself, know what you want and how to get there.
No they will tell u to move out
@@waleeddhaen3927 go seek help
I am in my adulthood and my mother is still overprotective. She always needs to make sure I am okay. Like every day. Usually not only once. Sometimes every 5 hours. She would bombard me with phonecalls until I finally pick up. I told her she needs therapy but she doesnt want to. We have had endless convos about it that I dont like her behavior but it doesnt work.
This is for all ages. You are in control of your own life. You know what's best for you. The only approval you need for yourself is your own. Ignore all of the name-calling, guilt-tripping, forceful, manipulative behavior that your parents employ onto you. That's them trying to control you. Please know that it's all a trap when they enact those behaviors. Sure, you might love them, and they might love you, but you ultimately know what is best for you. Start growing some independence within yourself and eventually it will flow out of you.
Excellent advice
I'm 18 and am currently going to college and already finished my first year. However, because of covid, I was forced to move back home from campus. Both of my parents are very christian and strict (will get to the examples in a bit) even with my dad being a pastor and in the army and is currently stationed far away so my mom is the only parent here rn. Since I lived on campus for two semesters, I'm used to finishing things on my own, hang out with friends (girls and guys), eat food @ midnight during finals, and walk around campus @1am. When I came back home because of covid (college kicked everyone except out-of-country students) out, I lost all of my freedom. When I want to hang with a friend or do something, I have to ask her. Now at that point, it is kinda OK because I'm back under her roof, however, she only likes certain friends of mine, wants me to have my location on 24/7, wants me to ask her if I can do a certain thing (like swimming or such) when I hang with my friends, and if I am allowed to, she wants me to wear a suit she's OK with (even though I bought my own suits other than the ones she wants me to wear). I have two part time jobs (one very part time and the other makes me work under my mother), do well in school (Dean's list), and even though I make mistakes, I try to make the right choices. Currently, I am waiting for my 2nd interview with a fast food place and just might get the job (but it confuses my mom to why I want a job other than the one she has me do) and the reason why it took me this long to get a job is because the plans my mom had me do over the summer + my summer class (in which ends today). My mom also doesn't like me to hang with my best friend that is a guy because she "doesn't trust guys" (her bad experience) and he's gay but how can I tell her that?? She's against LGBTQ+ and I'm not. People have the right to their own opinions and should be loved in any shape or form they are, even if you don't completely agree with it (my take on it).
Growing up was hard with my dad being in the military and a pastor because of all the things they expected from me (and mostly me because my two older brothers are autistic so even though I'm the youngest, I've always had to act older and never had anyone to look up to). I understand that my mother loves me and doesn't want something bad happen to me, but bad things happen all the time and parents can't protect their children fully. Parents may help their children through problems if the kid wants help and be able to make their own decisions (good/bad) and learn from them.
However, I feel trapped and very depressed because of how all my decisions we're taken away from me (and it got worse lately since she got a puppy *more for me to do*). I try to pay for my own things and I get around pretty well in fact. I pay for my car, my clothes, food, etc. And the times my mom wants to get things for me then holds it against me. If my brothers get on her nerves many times throughout a day, she yells at me and tries to control more. If I even ask her (and she says yes) to hang with friends and remind her every day that I'm hanging with that friend, that day, at that time, she forgets and gets mad at me for not asking her.
Sorry guys for the long writing, it has just been hard lately and need to get it off my chest.
Thank you for your post. I lived away at school for 3 years. Then after graduation moved back home. Big mistake. Even though I had a good job, she was controlling every aspect of my life. Not surprising, she kicked me out of the house. And I left but made a bad marriage. My advice to anyone in that situation is "get out as soon as you can ". My best to you and a brighter future
i'm 22 and i just had my phone taken away by my mom. I'm a senior in college and I have my own money and my own car. I can't leave my house without telling them where i'm going and who i'm going with. I'm not allowed to go on trips with friends, dress my age or date.
Controlling someone out of love does not make is better. It’s like killing someone just cause you love them.
"If you're telling me I can't, then the only way I can be in control is by doing the opposite of what you tell me."
That explains a lot about people's decision making, actually. And then there's instances when every action one thinks leads to happiness actually doesn't lead to happiness, but I guess some have to learn the hard way then.
Yes! I feel like my mom is so controlling but every time I tell her she asks me "how? What makes you think that?" And idk how to explain it but every time she is controlling its in the moment...anyone else know what I'm talking about? Like its hard to tell them when they always have stuff they find out about me too that I'm doing something "bad"
i can feel ur situation ,,,i go thru d same
I'm 13 and depressed because of them
Remember is your life. Start thinking about the kind of future you want and make a plan how to to get there and skill you need. And start. You have to look out for yourself.
@@yesean59 how I have to tell my mom when I'm going to take a shower u want me to even have faith that I'm going to hold myself from suicide how can I make a plan 😔
It's gonna be ok I promise you'll work out ur problems and be stronger for it
Dde I have actually seen you comment on one of those ps4 water cooled videos
@@waleeddhaen3927 sad
This isn't about just them controlling u i think it brings depression and guilt about mistake that u just did unknowingly, they should be more understanding or else the consequences would be very disastrous
Just hearing your voice is so compassionate-I knew clicking on this video I wouldn’t be yelled at. Thank you for giving me back my life 💎
Thanks for your comment! I am glad you found the video helpful :-)
@@principlebasedliving3294 absolutely if you mind me asking: why do I feel so bad upset and guilty after standing up for myself to a work client? Even if it involves money and I’m working on other business ventures that have higher importance?
I'm 16 but they still want to control me they made me choose if I should stay at my current cousins or move to my other cousins house she made me choose he threatened to take my phone
I’m 17 and I can’t hang out with friends
Jeez...
I'm 22 lol and my mom wants to control me
I'm 36 and my mom still tells me what to do..
Myself i have controlling parents,mostly my father. As a girl,18,i should already make my own decisions about my body,my actions,my decisions for university,and yet he always gets mad for my decisions and tells me he wants something else for me to do,saying that he is always right.But most of the times he is not,and when i try to prove him wrong,he gets even more mad and calls me rude,disrespectful,dumb,etc. Mom just backs him up.For 5 years i keep getting arguements,and they always make me feel hollow,depressed,i keep crying and most of the time i give up on some things because of them.I am sick of them controlling me,i know what is best for me and my future,and them not supporting and believing i can make good decisions hurts me,i feel backstabbed.I don't know what to do anymore. I am constantly doing the opposite as they say,but i have a feeling at some point in life we won't talk anymore,especially me and my father.
I see in the comments the same story told from a different perspective. You want to do something but your parents tell you no. They might even try to make you feel bad for doing what you did. When this happens you need to learn how to not react to negative comments, think of criticism as a reflection on them and not you. Don't surrender and give that reaction they want from you. Put your foot down tell them what you want and tell them its final.
@@HiThere-xn6xy yea same shit happens to me, its ridiculous.
I don't like it when my mom doesn't let me put stuff in my room and bring stuff from my dad's house. It frustrates me because I want control over my room.
What's worse is I am a sensitive person and whatever puts me down REALLY puts me down (makes me sad)
You forgot one part. Some parents get mad at you if you don’t take their advice. They guilt trip you and criticize you and call you names. You’re missing a major part here. Some parents are truly narcissistic and don’t want what’s best for you. They want what makes them look best as a parent. This video is not very helpful tbh
What should we do if this is the situation?
Sir, I don't wanna drink alcohol or anything bad, I just wanna make SIMPLE choices like my own style or what to eat (I wanna be vegan, but my parents don't). We are not here because we want to go illegal, we just wanna be able to live as a normal human being. I completely understand a lot of things that my parents don't want me to do, but the problem is that they are trying to control every single aspect of my life.
Everyone that came to see this video is passing through THIS kind of situation, where you can barely breath in your own way without being yelled at.
My mom is not letting me do Pack clothes in my luggage She always says you are a adult and She’s not letting me do my own luggage what the hell this is not fair I’m going to be 21 in April this is not fair
Limiting lifes freedom while destroying opportunity for life improvement turns you into your parents property, & obligates dependence. When conversations only go one way w/o the opportunity for discussion or change, you're a slave.
The only way is to leave for good.
My mom always means well but I think she needs to back off a bit I’m 30 and she’s always constantly worried about me it stresses me out. Always asking if I need money always trying to get information out of me and I’ve said I’ll come to you if I need any help but she can’t help herself.
What everybody with strict parent searches up and then deletes their search history:
Be in control by doing everything your parents tell you!
I'm sorry that makes no sense.
My parents told me to move back in with them. And I did and now I regret it. Now they involve me in their financial plans, tell me what jobs I should get. IT doesn't get less, it gets worst because your obedience reinforces their behavior.
I love this video so many takeaways, love the idea of making self-interest decisions, as it’s so true. Being constantly manipulated and controlled is no fun.
4:29 You mean because they lack self-love. Not that they are "loving" but that they are full of shame.
Because they are insecure and have wounds that are going unresolved. They hold trauma and shame. They don't believe the child is capable. They may have authoritarian parenting style. They don't respect boundaries because of enmeshment. They think the child is a toy or an object of validation. They believe that the child should be what they want. No respect for individual identity.
Seems like a loaded question. Most cases parents do express "love" but I'd consider that the opposite. Not respecting the child for being human.
Don't forget about Erik Ericksons stage 2 of human development. That children need autonomy and the parents can create a shame based identity as a result of ignorance.
And i escaped to another country and they still didn't get it. They still thought that i was just mistaken and abused me over the phone. Both me and my suster. My suster now works for them and its terrible. All my dads wrong doing is turned into someone elses problem. So much time stolen
My parents humiliate me and have held me accountable for my older siblings actions. I’m 18 and feel like I’m a freshman on high school
My
parents want to control me to go curch ,and want me to marry a women in curch , terrible
Curch?
Similar
Dude marry who ever you want
oOok just grow up and do what you like..
What's curch bro?
my mum thinks she know everything about adhd because I have it but she doesn’t understand, she is controlling me and wont let me do anything. Literally about 4 weeks ago everything was lovely and nice but now she gives me no free will, she takes me out when I hate it and if I don’t come she takes everything I like making me angry making her take it away more, it’s an endless cycle and I don’t think I will escape anytime soon. She says “if you stop getting angry I will let you back on” but I can’t I know she won’t do it. I try to tell her to stop and let me do stuff again but she doesn’t realise that she has put me in an endless cycle of this. It has made my life so boring and sad. I only come because if I don’t she will take away everything I like and actually enjoy. It makes me upset and I’m actually crying while writing this. I just really don’t want this anymore and want to be free again to do what I want. She also should not take me out anyway because or coronavirus. It just makes me sad and she keeps giving me pills but they make me sad. She never listens to me. She keeps giving me meds because she thinks it helps but it doesn’t. I asked her why are you so so controlling and she said “I don’t care if I’m controlling”. I wish I could tell her I don’t like this hole I’m stuck in. She is kind but she just put me in this hole and it makes me sad and ruins my mental health health. She thinks taking me out helps but it just puts me in this cycle.
sounds like my dad
I'm so sorry I hope you are doing somewhat okay now and I sympathise x
I managed to move out from my nan when I was 19 and a half years old as I wanted to take control of my life.
but what if you truly do not want to do what your parent/parents want you to do, cuz you don't see it as good for you, or it is something you don't want to do.
How to be in control: do everything your parents say
I'm sorry but my mom is extremely arragont and stubborn, there's nothing I can do to change her, so I have just decided to move out. It will only be for another 7 months until I go back to college(if the pandemic is over, hopefully)
"because they love you" No, that's not why. My mom is notorious for trying to control others. It's why my dad left her. I think she's a narcissist.
Im 30 years old and I still live with my dad I don’t have a job cause im on ssi but when covid is over im going to look for a job and I wanna save money and move to South Korea but my dad won’t let me he says “what if u move to korea and can’t come bck for a few years and i pass away, ur not moving there until i die” I know how to take care of myself i pay rent every month, i sweep everyday, mop every week, do laundry, sometimes clean the whole kitchen me and my dad take turns on tht i unload the dishwasher and he reloads it, i take care of the cats i do alot and he still won’t let me move what can i do?
Is this fair (please write response anyone) so I see my girlfriend only at weekends and the whole week im working, I'm nearly 15 and nearly finished high school, my mum and dad tell me what I can and can't do all the time , no staying out too late they push a curfew on a Friday or Saturday night for 7:15 , she doesn't like it when I confront her about been too controlling she just says not now and shouts
My father and his girlfriend try to force me to go to school and always be at their house 24/7 anytime I have down time and want to relax they want me there. Whenever I have plans they ruin them. And if I don’t show they blame me in trouble then they drag me to AA meetings which is annoying. Can someone help me all I do wrong is smoke a fucking plant for my godamn adhd please help
Have you talked to them? Maybe try hinting that you dont wanna be there with them and that youre your own person..
No but this is the funny thing they want to control my life so bad but they want to move me out as soon as possible!😂
never tell them the truth, tell them what they want to hear, when ever you can leave them, do this
In some cases, I think that could work but in others, not so much. It depends on the situation.
19 and my mom still treats me like a baby and doesn't let me make my own decisions
my parents make me do tennis and I hate it so so much. its like they don't repeat what I love and want to do in life and if they can't respect that then I don't know what they respect but its clearly not me
respect** not repeat lol
I’m 21 yrs old and I been living w my gma for the past few months and we came to visit family this week and my mom is literally telling me that I’m moving back with her, basically trying to force me to live with her. It’s like she doesn’t realize that I’m NOT A CHILD and can live w whoever I want. But what she doesn’t know is that when my grandma is ready to leave I’m going w her. She can try all she wants to force me to stay but I’m not staying.
My mum yelled at me for YEARS to get me to join this teaching assistant agency, and then this year when they sent me jobs in my area she got me to turn them down. I just don’t know what she wants.
You know what she wants, she wants to control you. You're letting her! thats the key to avoiding control, you can change and calmly say no thanks when she tries to control everything.
I can't talk to my friends, go to clubs or do anything, I wish I could leave them quickly
There are too many places to go besides clubs, not a healthy place either way
I am 19 year old my parents still control my life and not happy with my life. Still tell me what to do or where to in my life.
Mine are annoying so thank you for the video!
My parents like making rly dumb rules to control me and my siblings. Today they decided to make a rule that we only get our phones 1 hour MAX per day and that’s if they even allow us to use them at all. And that we have to chop and stack wood for an hour every single day. I do a 1 and a half hour workout at my school every day, and I have a tennis camp for 2 hours. You might think, oh well she has plenty of time for her own hobbies, well I might have time, but not the energy. I like working with horses(ofc my parents don’t let me have my own horse so I work with my neighbors), and rn I’m clearing a patch of land to have a wildflower meadow, so basically I have physical hobbies. I haven’t gotten together with a friend in 9 months, and I was virtual the whole school year, so I don’t have almost any friends. In the winter/early spring we have to help make maple syrup. We have to walk all over the woods, in the deep snow, and collect and carry sap from over a 100 buckets. Then we have to carry all the sap all the way back to cook it. That’s on top of all the normal chores we have every day. And then we’re supposed to go to school for 7 hours a day, plus be in at least 2 sports?! When do I get any time for my own hobbies?! I’m tired of all their restrictions and rules and chores. How come they make me spend time working on their hobbies but they won’t let me get a goat like I wanted. I don’t ask for much, but I rly wanted a goat and they flat out said absolutely not. All we have are dogs, cats, and chickens, so it’s not like we have too many animals already. And now I’m in my room balling bc I’ve been so isolated for so long.
Came to this video for advice. I liked the video until the last section. I did that method that was suggested as they would have an increase in trust with me. And it didn't go as planned as they took advantage of it. It started off great as they stopped asking me questions for a while. I had some resistance at first. But then it became demanding as they wanted more from me. Even took some of my free time away. Even gave my mother money once as she didn't have any at the time. And still said that they didn't trust me. Plus they emotionally manipulated me into dependency without them knowing it. And as I did what they asked me, it kinda hurt that they still don't trust me. Well, my dad says that often. And now I am out of a job, due to just finishing college a year back. And had a tough time finding one at the moment. By the way, I am in my early thirties by the way and they still want to control me. Just because I became unemployed all of a sudden. I had some small jobs here and there. But I didn't get to keep the money due to other expenses. Worse is that I am stuck under their roof. As it is worse, my mental health is declining. They suggested I do volunteer work but that is not my personality. So it will just be an unhappy experience to be there. No one wants a unhappy volunteer.
I used to have an addiction to video games, and I would constantly procrastinate everything that I was supposed to do, up until one day where I decided to quit gaming for a bit so I could focus on more important stuff but now when I would like to play for a hour or so, it comes to the point where I have no free time, and do more chores than anyone. Like I get you pay the Bill's and buy me nice things here and there but I'm not going to spend my whole day cleaning and working hard for free so you can relax for 10 minutes. C'mon I'm just a kid who could use some more attention.
Heal the shame that your parents throw at you.
Shame is the belief. "I am not enough".
I grew up playing videogames all the time too. Sometimes it's easier to escape from pain with these things. Rather than doing the hard work of heal our shame and pain.
Addictions are just the symptom of having a shame based identity. Look up toxic shame.
this is a good way of looking at it, i think this would work on my parents. although i'm ready to give up since i'm no longer young..
I didn't have a summer because of my mum's inner control freak snapped...
I can't wait to move tf out
so your point is: in order to stop your parents from controlling you is to choose to obey them? Then you say the parents should be obeyed bc they want the best for you (as if they don't make mistakes regardless of their intentions).
The good point you make is that sometimes we do the opposite of what our parents command bc we want freedom, but that doesn't mean we should just obey their commands.
I’m 27 and I’ve done nothing but all the right things in my life. But my mom still doesn’t trust me. She listens in on my phone calls, put monitors every possible area of the house, and will go crazy and keep calling non-stop if I miss a phone call.
She forces her way to her manage my time as she pleases. I can’t ever travel anywhere without her permission, otherwise she threatens disowning me. It’s a constant struggle between wanting to just live by my own rules or losing my family (being disowned)
It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. The message of my video is that we have the ability to make choices in all of our situations but we don’t get to choose or control the outcomes. Your mom can’t “control “ what you do but she can influence. Once you can recognize that you have a choice, it frees you. You can choose to do what your mom wants you to do and receive the benefits of that or you can choose to do whatever you want and then experience the consequences of those choices. That is how all of life works. We can “choose “ to do whatever we want but their are consequences in relation to the choices we make. It is possible that even if you did do what you want, that your mom may choose not to disown you. It may be a threat on her part to try and control you and if you forced her hand, she may not go through with it. She may try to control you in other ways or she might disown you at which point you would be free from her control but would also forfeit any of the benefits that you may get from having a relationship with her. The most important thing is to ask yourself what this situation is trying to teach you! I wish you the very best
Im having my parents still controlling me at age 32! Even if i want to leave the house things can get extremely nasty ill even have threats of violence. Ok m trying everything to move back out. Any advice for dealing with it?
Im 24 and still living with my mom, she still treats me like a child. She doesn’t like me going out so I’m pretty antisocial but I have one friend that I hang out from time to time but my mom disapproves of him. I work a part-time job and made a new friend there and we’ve been discussing for months on going on a little road trip in April out of town to a convention in Texas it’s only 8hrs away and for three days. As of now I have my ticket ready and my days for that weekend covered i figured I’m an adult I don’t need to get her permission just give her a heads up early on that I’m going. She told me “no” straight up. I told her I had everything already ready and paid for and just told me “that’s your problem”. She won’t listen to me and I told my family if they could talk to her to make her understand that I’m an adult. All I want is some freedom for one weekend, that’s all I ask for. I sometimes get jealous of my cousins that are a little younger than me hanging out with there friends because I long for that freedom. I know she’s overprotective but idk how to make her understand that it’s time for her to stop making decisions for me and to start letting me go. I don’t want to resent her when I’m older but I also want to have a life where I can discover myself.
Thanks for your response. You seem like a smart person and it also seems like you love and respect your mom but just want her to do the same for you. Here is a thought and maybe you won’t like it but maybe she treats you like a child because in some ways you still act like a child? You are 24 which means you have been an adult for 6 years! Why are you still living with your mom? If it is because you can’t afford to move out, that is on you. There are a lot of 24 year olds that are independent and living on their own. As long as you are living in your moms home she has some say on what you do and don’t do in exchange for the privilege of living in her home. My recommendation is to show your mom that you are an adult by finding an apartment and moving out and begin taking care of yourself. She may not like this but it will show her that you can take care of yourself. I don’t know if you have watched any of my other videos but I would encourage you to do so. You may find some information there that you will find helpful! I wish you the very best!
My parents threaten to physically hurt me if I try to move out from their house. They say the words like if you ever move out from this house I will find you and I'll break all bones in your body or I gave life to you and I can take it away from you. And they also say that they would get a heart attack and die and it would be my fault! I am scared to death but I don't know what I should do beacuse of the fear I have from them. Please help! How do I protect myself? 😣
Im 36 and my dad calls everytime someone pulls up in my driveway he lives across the street if i dont answer he comes over and embarrasses the living hell out me comes over with an attotide arges with me in front of my company especially if its any male . I cant move but he took illegal possession of my house n all to control me so if i dont listen he will throw me out i cant take it no more
My parents control me by not going on vacation with my friend and family that I know from the bronx. I need a break from my parents sometimes. I don't control my father for the personal things he don't do.
Don't be like me, be the ideal person you want to be. Plus, you can do it.
This isn’t helping but I get what you’re saying , my parents don’t wanna accept me for who I am but they do that because they love me??? What brings me happiness is that knowing somebody is here for me and I don’t think there is somebody there.
I made a mistake and every time i have a goal my parents will crush it. That’s why I don’t enjoy life and I limit myself from everyone
I’m 18 and my parents still try to control me. It is very draining and frustrating bc I can’t get out and be alone or do things that I wanna do. College is my only option that will get me away from home. I hate school but I’m willing to go to college just to gain my freedom
Just like you
This was VERY empowering, uplifting, and changing!!! It gave me wisdom and a whole new perspective of life I have NEVER thought of before!! Video liked and you gained one more loyal subscriber!!!! Thank you so much for creating this video, beautifully worded...God bless you!!!
I’m 35, could my parents and 25 year old half brother legally get the cops to help them control me ?
( even though I’m not suicidal nor do I do any other thing illegal as well)
I believe only if they can show to a judge that you are incompetent or a risk to yourself or others
I don't know what country you live in, but if it's in the U.S., you could move to another state, and never give them the address. They can't do squat to you then.
And my mom always takes my phone just because I’m on it like wtf else am I supposed to do and taking our phones won’t do anything but cause us different issues I’ve had depression because of my parents I’m done
My parents are super strict over my phone and I hate it
How old are you?
Im 18, my parents held me back a year(even though i passed that year) in seventh grade, meaning i will graduate well over 19. i cant move out yet due to not having the time to work a FT job, and i am just not financially supported to do so. my parents threaten me with the “you live under my roof” argument and i fear if i go too far in rebelling i will be kicked out. im not into drugs or partying so the things i want to do arent too extreme, i just want to be the one in control. what can i do.
If you really want to be in control then you need to take responsibility and accountability for your life. Gain the known and skills that you need to be successful and independent but as long as you live in your parents home, they get to decide how they want things to be in their home. You can do it!
How do you get parents to stop yelling and cussing and how do you get them to not spray toxic chemicals and how do you get them to clean up after themselves?
Doing it because I trust my parents or out of self interest doesn't work for me. I'm taking steps to be healthy, perfecting my sleep getting sunlight in the morning, eating healthy, exercising, meditating. My parents see me do this and have their ego hurt or something, I don't understand this because they work in the field of health, but I did my research, cited the studies, and they continue to tell me that these things don't work... IT HAS WORKED AND IT CONTINUES TO DO SO. They then begin bringing mediocre problems that come with my healthy habits - such as the noise of the stairs when I when up. I will NOT destroy my entire health, delete my entire morning routine, just to not go down the stairs. Don't I have a right to use the bloody stairs? I'm 17, working on a business, and this sort of this destroys everything I have built. I'm working hard to earn money so that I can give them an early retirement, and live a happy successful life, and then im being ENCOURAGED to consume alcohol, and then groan/give excuses when I talk about the problems with that decision... But it is becoming rules. It is moving from suggestions to commands as our health becomes more polarised to eachother.
Thanks for your comments. It sounds like your parents are “trying” to control you but it also sounds like you are making your own choices. So the cool thing about this is even though your parents may “try” to control you, you still get to choose how you are going to respond. You can either comply with what your parents are wanting you to do or not and either way, you are the one that experiences the consequences or outcomes of your choices! It sounds like you are very motivated and making lots of self interest choices!
Wow, I think this is a very well phrased, well written description of your experience on your life especially for a teenager. At 17, I could never do this.😅
My parents are separating and i love them both but I hate it when they are so overprotective of what I do online. I have met a couple friends that I am hiding from my parents. They are really polite, respectful, and kind friends. How do I tell them that I have friends online?