Top 40 Jokes in the Bible - Don't Laugh Challenge Video!

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ย. 2024

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  • @looneyfarm1
    @looneyfarm1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11326

    The oldest computer was in the garden of Eden. It was an Apple 🍎 with very limited capacity. Had only 1 byte and everything crashed 😂

    • @mariettaslabach6204
      @mariettaslabach6204 2 ปีที่แล้ว +370

      Adam took a bite too. 2 bytes 😁

    • @ferzinhaN
      @ferzinhaN 2 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      Wowww 😅😅👏👏

    • @ElenaLearningForeverToInfinity
      @ElenaLearningForeverToInfinity 2 ปีที่แล้ว +113

      I need a share button on these comments today!

    • @sperrtechnik
      @sperrtechnik 2 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      I´m from germany, not so Biebelsfest, but this one got me LOL... absolutly my favorit

    • @MartinLander
      @MartinLander 2 ปีที่แล้ว +92

      After the Apple with a byte a MSDOS result. (a Mess Does result).

  • @simplyfragrances4453
    @simplyfragrances4453 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4727

    What was Boaz before he was married??…… ruthless 😂

  • @hendrikfourie6030
    @hendrikfourie6030 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3480

    Who knew the most people in the Bible? I don’t know but Abraham knew a Lot😂

  • @iluvBamMargera100
    @iluvBamMargera100 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +387

    I am 73 years old and remember when a mouse was a little furry creature and a hard drive was when I went to see my mother-in-law

    • @respondtwome
      @respondtwome 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Java was coffee and bytes were mouthfuls@stanleymuiga1203

    • @DejiAdegbite
      @DejiAdegbite 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +33

      @stanleymuiga1203 When a keyboard was a musical instrument.

    • @nombaite2443
      @nombaite2443 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      😂😂😂

    • @benjamin.schreiber
      @benjamin.schreiber 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      My mother-in-law lives just a few houses away but even as an IT guy I got this joke! 😂
      #harddrive #motherinlaw #LOL

    • @TelepathShield
      @TelepathShield 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Lol

  • @andrewthomas8462
    @andrewthomas8462 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4604

    Do you think when Moses saw the burning bush he was all like "no way " and the bush was all like "yhwh"

  • @fh1980ram
    @fh1980ram 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3052

    - Jesus, how do you like your steak?
    - Well done my faithful servant, Well done.

  • @OptionParty
    @OptionParty 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2694

    Adam came home late again.
    Eve said "Is there another woman".
    Adam said "No dear, count my ribs".

  • @DrinkYourNailPolish
    @DrinkYourNailPolish 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +736

    There was a faithful elderly woman who lived in a duplex.
    Her next door neighbor was an angry atheist.
    He could hear the elderly woman praying everyday and he hated it.
    One day he heard her praying that she had no food and no money.
    So he went to the store and bought her a week's worth of groceries. He said to himself "this will prove there is no God because I did all the shopping!!"
    When he showed up at her doorstep with food she praised the Lord "thank you God for answering my prayers!" And the atheist said "God didn't do it I did!!"
    And she praised God again saying "and you made your hater pay for it!!"

    • @whitney9844
      @whitney9844 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +30

      This made me laugh out loud. ROFL

    • @noahperkins2065
      @noahperkins2065 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      It’s hurts to laugh that hard 😂😂😂😂

    • @cozzyinternet4706
      @cozzyinternet4706 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      @@whitney9844
      same here!! :D

    • @DejiAdegbite
      @DejiAdegbite 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Nah, it's not that funny. I've seen other jokes in the comments, they're way better.

    • @1truth7788
      @1truth7788 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      It's and you made the devil pay for it

  • @valdez380
    @valdez380 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2699

    GOD: Cain, where is your brother?
    Cain: He wasn't Abel to make it. 🤣🤣🤣

  • @sandraetubiebi6184
    @sandraetubiebi6184 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2293

    How could the Son of Man afford to pay it all? Because Jesus saves!!!
    That's my best🤣🤣🤣 Epic!

    • @mesarena5408
      @mesarena5408 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Dat one got me 😂

    • @petran4309
      @petran4309 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      We should have utmost reverence for the gospel message. We wouldn't laugh on a joke created out of the tragic death of a loved one, would we?

    • @davidigbineweka7098
      @davidigbineweka7098 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Me too😂

    • @timekagilliam
      @timekagilliam 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That WAS epic

    • @lisashao2449
      @lisashao2449 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      God is not mocked

  • @bre_aaralyn091
    @bre_aaralyn091 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1206

    I’m so thankful I’ve read my Bible enough to understand all of these 🤣

    • @obosjnr3026
      @obosjnr3026 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Me too

    • @rayjay1543
      @rayjay1543 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Good job😇👍

    • @retrobro8233
      @retrobro8233 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Heck Yeahhh!!! Hooray for Bible nerds!

    • @AnnaB22
      @AnnaB22 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      me too.

    • @Marie-Fey40
      @Marie-Fey40 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Can you please explain the canon joke to me? I don't get it

  • @Redeemed60
    @Redeemed60 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +149

    Oh my word, this is my first time watching you guys and I'm cracking up! It's Monday, March 18, 2024. April 1st is my son's birthday. He died at age 11. If he were here he would be laughing so hard, because he had such a great sense of humor! Thanks for the joy this a.m.!

    • @jillebeling8237
      @jillebeling8237 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Blessings as u know He is forever w Jesus

    • @Redeemed60
      @Redeemed60 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @@jillebeling8237 Yes! And thank you! That has given me comfort for many years now!

    • @LydiaLivesForHim
      @LydiaLivesForHim 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      May God comfort you

    • @Redeemed60
      @Redeemed60 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@LydiaLivesForHim Thank you! It was many years ago but sometimes it's still like yesterday!

    • @mirelaalina4050
      @mirelaalina4050 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      God may rest his soul in peace. ☦️❤️🫶🏻

  • @inforceclips4399
    @inforceclips4399 2 ปีที่แล้ว +856

    Not my jokes:
    1. Moses was the first person to download information on a tablet from the cloud.
    2. Noah sent out the world's first tweet.
    3. Boaz was Ruth-less before he got married

    • @sgttim8617
      @sgttim8617 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      With Joke#1, Here, There Are Only "10" - types of people, in the World. . . .
      Those who Understand Binary. . .
      And Those Who Don't!

    • @hch2023
      @hch2023 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Brilliant😂

    • @chrissteed8170
      @chrissteed8170 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      True.

    • @JeffreyCurl-f3n
      @JeffreyCurl-f3n 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      No.

    • @Jesus_is_GOD_nodoubt
      @Jesus_is_GOD_nodoubt 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      😂😂😂 good ones

  • @changegears7712
    @changegears7712 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2936

    Did you know the disciples actually traveled together by car? Yeah, they all came in one Accord. 🥁

    • @SpokenGospel
      @SpokenGospel  2 ปีที่แล้ว +113

      😂😂 Love it!

    • @earlfultz1665
      @earlfultz1665 2 ปีที่แล้ว +142

      And Joshua rode a motorcycle, because the sound of his Triumph was heard throughout the land.

    • @missycolson4137
      @missycolson4137 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      that's a good one

    • @BHIPHOP91
      @BHIPHOP91 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Oh man, that’s good!!😂

    • @mayaoktavia5709
      @mayaoktavia5709 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Ayeeeee 🥁🥁🥁

  • @upschutt4842
    @upschutt4842 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1282

    Goliath's last thoughts: Nothing like this has ever entered my mind before

    • @maryadedokun2405
      @maryadedokun2405 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Lolll

    • @julesjune598
      @julesjune598 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      stop this made me wheeze HAHAHHA

    • @abbanova8048
      @abbanova8048 2 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      “Y’know, it just hit me ...”

    • @hnn7619
      @hnn7619 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      😮🤣

    • @BornTimes2
      @BornTimes2 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Epic! 🤣

  • @benjaminblack4345
    @benjaminblack4345 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +605

    Did you know Moses was the first person to use a tablet to download data from the cloud?
    😂

    • @beckyowens2586
      @beckyowens2586 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      Moses was the first pharmacist. He made two Sainai tablets.

    • @jaythemachine3845
      @jaythemachine3845 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Jesus and the apostles walk into a tavern and sit at a table. The waiter ask what they’ll be having and Jesus says “we’ll just have waters” then 😉 at the apostles.

    • @osananda
      @osananda หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@jaythemachine3845😆

  • @alliengoy2853
    @alliengoy2853 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1989

    "Do you need a boat? I NOAH guy. He's an ARKitecht" got me 🤣🤣

    • @Ngan.marianguyen
      @Ngan.marianguyen 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Dangg🤣

    • @MLeoM
      @MLeoM 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Honestly, reading this from text sounded funniest, I read before the joke started.
      Thanks Allie.

    • @jennm3321
      @jennm3321 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      What was the first US state mentioned in the Bible? Arkansas. (Noah looked out of the Ark-and-saw...)

    • @kindhearted3094
      @kindhearted3094 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I no ah

    • @raesour2806
      @raesour2806 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Where did Noah keep the bees? In the Ark-hives

  • @scottgalloway1819
    @scottgalloway1819 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2068

    I'm in hospital recovering from having my gallbladder removed, extreme abdominal pain, and I literally had to be given morphine for the joke, "Jesus is devine. We are debranches". I've paused the video at 2:18 for a time when I can proceed safely.

    • @FREDAFMK
      @FREDAFMK 2 ปีที่แล้ว +96

      I know it hurts but laughter is good medicine...be loved

    • @fernandinajacobs5621
      @fernandinajacobs5621 2 ปีที่แล้ว +93

      I pray that Jesus heals you tonight. Right there in your hospital bed. Be healed and be whole in Jesus name

    • @DreDanquah
      @DreDanquah 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Healing completely amen.

    • @PrincessFidelma
      @PrincessFidelma 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Ooof I felt that 😬Oh my Goodness, that shouldn't be so funny 😂 it's empathy mean laughter, I went through that nearly 16years ago... it gets better 😁 Painkillers are your friend (don't get addicted 🙏) I didn't need them much after 2weeks.

    • @jeffyap4615
      @jeffyap4615 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hope you’re getting bladder… I mean better

  • @upschutt4842
    @upschutt4842 2 ปีที่แล้ว +474

    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Dishes.
    Dishes Who?
    Dishes the day the Lord has made. Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    Lettus.
    Lettus who?
    Lettus rejoice and be glad in it.

    • @tregdas5142
      @tregdas5142 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Hehe lul 🤣

    • @JohnGwan
      @JohnGwan 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      I'm gonna say this one in church today lol..

    • @upschutt4842
      @upschutt4842 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@JohnGwan do it

    • @rgra9434
      @rgra9434 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😂

    • @ajdjjamison3023
      @ajdjjamison3023 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @pettra1
    @pettra1 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +183

    It wasn't the apple that caused all the trouble in the Garden of Eden.
    It was the pair on the ground!!! 😂😂

    • @fallen4rmabove
      @fallen4rmabove 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Pear

    • @pettra1
      @pettra1 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @@fallen4rmabove Yes I know. That's the whole point!

    • @LightGesture
      @LightGesture 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@pettra1so you should edit and spell it properly because i didn't get the joke until i read the pear reply.

    • @swirlyfry
      @swirlyfry 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      ⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠@@LightGestureHe spelled it right. Adam and Eve were the "pair" on the ground. Pair rhymes with pear.

    • @ajdjjamison3023
      @ajdjjamison3023 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @unfathomablelove1189
    @unfathomablelove1189 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2647

    Why don't Jesus wear jewelries?
    Because He breaks every chain. 😏

    • @FREDAFMK
      @FREDAFMK 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      now thats good

    • @angelika013
      @angelika013 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      🤣🤣🤣
      Fantastic and hysterical!

    • @lavenderflowers1075
      @lavenderflowers1075 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      LoL! Blasphemy 😂😂

    • @aliceviolet6000
      @aliceviolet6000 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      This is my favorite one

    • @luranetee
      @luranetee 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Nice

  • @jamesajiduah2001
    @jamesajiduah2001 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1114

    Noah was good at finances: He kept his stock afloat.

    • @CuteSceneChic
      @CuteSceneChic 2 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      The rest of the world fell into liquidation..hahahahaha

    • @alantate25
      @alantate25 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You left out alot of the joke

    • @lavenderflowers1075
      @lavenderflowers1075 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😂😂

    • @Jen-tt9yx
      @Jen-tt9yx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@CuteSceneChic heyyy yoo-hoo 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

    • @dara83000
      @dara83000 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      🤣🤣🤣😭

  • @markalleneaton
    @markalleneaton 2 ปีที่แล้ว +434

    A man was praying, "Lord, I read in 2 Peter that to You a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years is like a day." "That's right," said the Lord, "he got that from Psalm 90." "Well, what are a million years like to You?" the man asked. "One second," said the Lord. "Wow," said the man, "well, what are a million dollars like to You?" "One penny," said the Lord. The man thought for a moment. "Lord...?" he asked, "could you spare me a penny?" The Lord said, "Sure, just a second."

    • @shouuche0419
      @shouuche0419 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      😂😂😂, now he has to wait

    • @danielchristman3074
      @danielchristman3074 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      Wait on the Lord

    • @JadAngel
      @JadAngel 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Lollll😂

  • @mpd8633
    @mpd8633 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +138

    Jeremiah opened a French candy store and named it La Ments. That set me laughing!!😅😅

    • @ResilientIzShe
      @ResilientIzShe 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      😂 didn't get it when he said it, now I get it.

    • @shanahodge144
      @shanahodge144 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      We went to that store on va- tations

    • @apoet-y6c
      @apoet-y6c หลายเดือนก่อน

      HOW did he do that?

  • @gary.h.turner
    @gary.h.turner ปีที่แล้ว +872

    Jesus (to Peter): Who do you say I am? Am I the Messiah?
    Peter: Yesh,-u-ah!

  • @rayjay1543
    @rayjay1543 ปีที่แล้ว +545

    I love how these are referring to lesser known Biblical things. Love that Christians can laugh and be funny especially if they know the Bible well. That's great. Ty

    • @jerryspidell2331
      @jerryspidell2331 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      SACRED SCRIPTURE IS NOT A JOKE BOOK.

    • @teeemm9456
      @teeemm9456 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      @@jerryspidell2331 Humor comes from God.

    • @RexDC
      @RexDC 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      This is sad

    • @jillebeling8237
      @jillebeling8237 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Actually that thot saddens me. We should share w masses so they too can know JOY of Jesus

    • @jillebeling8237
      @jillebeling8237 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      @@jerryspidell2331very true but christians can laugh…its not a sin. Jesus was invited to a lot of parties. I don’t think they would have invited a frumpy head. I agree the Bible should be taken in the highest esteem but it’s OK to laugh. Jesus came that they might have the joy and joy in abundance. I am so so happy that Jesus calls me his own. I think they were very careful not to be inappropriate.

  • @jentsevanmiltenburg8577
    @jentsevanmiltenburg8577 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2081

    The one Christian joke that made me laugh 😏
    An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
    The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”
    ” Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly.
    “OK,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”
    The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
    To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don’t know shit?”

    • @giftij
      @giftij 2 ปีที่แล้ว +78

      OMG, I love this!! He don't know "shit"

    • @davidconway3891
      @davidconway3891 2 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      This is definitely my favorite!! ...hahaha

    • @angelika013
      @angelika013 2 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      🤣🤣🤣🤣
      *THAT IS HYSTERICAL!!*
      *...and SO TRUE and on point!!*

    • @elib.2302
      @elib.2302 2 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      ladies and gentleman... we got'em

    • @godisgreat3014
      @godisgreat3014 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Wow

  • @alycedodge1393
    @alycedodge1393 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +68

    When my friend was a little girl, she came home from Sunday school and said her favorite part of the lesson was singing about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly ("Gladly, the cross I bear" is a line from the hymn, "Keep Thou My Way" by Fanny Crosby and Theodore E. Perkins).

    • @For_What_It-s_Worth
      @For_What_It-s_Worth 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I’d (I would)

    • @noname-zd6wu
      @noname-zd6wu 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😂😂😂

    • @nicholasgeraldo8794
      @nicholasgeraldo8794 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @osananda
      @osananda หลายเดือนก่อน

      😆😆😆

  • @reidamemer1
    @reidamemer1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +556

    I don't have a joke but a pick up line.
    "If I march around you seven times... will you fall for me? 😏

    • @jg-reis
      @jg-reis 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +78

      "No - you're so annoying, you keep blowing your own trumpet!"

    • @royanque8374
      @royanque8374 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      If you marched 6 more times, maybe

    • @kiplamachar
      @kiplamachar 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      actually it was thirteen times jericho circumnavigation 😅

    • @LightGesture
      @LightGesture 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      My wife did at our wedding, a Jewish custom that they'll walk about their husband. She was stunning

    • @cozzyinternet4706
      @cozzyinternet4706 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      @@LightGesture
      interesting!! :D
      glad to know.
      so Jewish men are considered Yericho at their own weddings?? 😄

  • @MrBigGunT
    @MrBigGunT 2 ปีที่แล้ว +785

    "What happened to the gods of the Philistines? Dagon".... THAT LAYED ME OUT!!! Great stuff guys, God Bless you

  • @lebogangncongwane4298
    @lebogangncongwane4298 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1800

    This pushes me to learn the Bible more

    • @johntrojan9653
      @johntrojan9653 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Probably the biggest joke on all of us of all time: Jesus KNEW Judas Iscariot was a Slimmy, Lowlife Thief but still assigned him KEEPER of the freaking MONEY BAG ! Like;
      "WT Heck ?" !!!!!????????!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣

    • @awesomehawkins
      @awesomehawkins 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@johntrojan9653 and he also knew he had to betray Him, but still let him eat the last supper

    • @johntrojan9653
      @johntrojan9653 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@awesomehawkins
      That's right - he ""HAD"" to betray him otherwise GOD would be ""WRONG !"" and the Bible totally discredited. Cheezuz ! "G" f**ked up when he "MADE" Adam ...and Lucifer too 😡🤬🤬🤬🤬😡 ! ! ! (🔪)

    • @awesomehawkins
      @awesomehawkins 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@johntrojan9653 uhhhh… ok then? Are you all good? 😅
      How would that make the entire Bible wrong I’m so confused

    • @johntrojan9653
      @johntrojan9653 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@awesomehawkins I should have said the TORAH which is MOSAIC LAW in Script rather than God's broken rock tablet, you know the rock was given to Moses on Mount Sinai ? The Torah address God's COMMANDMENTS and also speaks of the MESSIAH - even the DAY THAT HE WAS TO DIE ON !##. If Jesus missed that date THEN THE TORAH IS WRONG AND GOD SO IS GOD ! Do you understand where I'm coming from A H ?

  • @nathanward3271
    @nathanward3271 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +78

    Balaam was riding his donkey down a road when an angel appeared before them. The donkey, upon seeing the angel, bucked backward and threw Balaam onto the street, which he hit hard, skid, and rolled before coming to a stop. After inspecting his skinned knees and elbows, he looked up at the angel, who said, “Don’t blame me. It was the asphalt.”

    • @royanque8374
      @royanque8374 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Nice

    • @HopeUnquenchable
      @HopeUnquenchable 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😂😂🤣

    • @GogakuOtaku
      @GogakuOtaku 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      oh, that was good XD

  • @DharmarajG
    @DharmarajG 2 ปีที่แล้ว +622

    Who is the tennis player in the Bible??
    Joseph,
    because he served in pharaoh's court☺

    • @elizabethbowie9753
      @elizabethbowie9753 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Another OLD joke!!

    • @elenam9435
      @elenam9435 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Dharmaraj 😆😆😆

    • @RaquelNavas
      @RaquelNavas 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      😂😂😂😂😂

    • @maryadedokun2405
      @maryadedokun2405 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That was a nice one 😄

    • @anon6187
      @anon6187 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      So it's Daniel too with many courts 😆

  • @alinjohn5
    @alinjohn5 2 ปีที่แล้ว +344

    A mom asked her boy, “What is your favorite hymn?”
    “The one about Andy,” he replied.
    “Andy? There’s no Andy in the Bible?”
    “Well,” he said, “I don’t know about the Bible, but we sing about Andy all the time.”
    “Are you sure?”the confused mom asked.
    “Sure! Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own!”

    • @zarocampo4572
      @zarocampo4572 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I dont get it, can someone explain

    • @alinjohn5
      @alinjohn5 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +50

      There’s an old gospel hymn called “In the Garden”.
      The lyrics are And He walks with me, And He talks with me, And He tells me I am His own. But it sounds like a common American name “Andy”.

    • @Jesus_is_GOD_nodoubt
      @Jesus_is_GOD_nodoubt 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      😂😂😂😂

    • @TheJeraleeMaynard
      @TheJeraleeMaynard 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It is a worship song....and he walks with and he talks with and he tells me I am His own@@zarocampo4572

    • @ResilientIzShe
      @ResilientIzShe 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      I don't know the song but I did get the joke 😂

  • @JamesEdwards8550
    @JamesEdwards8550 2 ปีที่แล้ว +421

    After the Ark came to rest on Mt. Ararat, all the animals left the Ark (disemb-arked) except two snakes. Noah was making the rounds to make sure all the animals left and found them. He asked them why they had not left the Ark. The snake says, "You told us to go forth and multiply". "Yes, I did," Noah replied, "what's the problem". The snake answered, "We can't multiply, we're adders".

    • @paulokello5981
      @paulokello5981 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      🤣

    • @davedempster3405
      @davedempster3405 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      upon hearing this Noah called over his sons and told them to cut down some trees and bring them to the ark. Once there he commanded his sons to construct tables. Curious, one snake asked Noah, "How will this help?" Noah replied, "you can now multiply for you now have log tables." (Log arithms ...)

    • @nunyabizness4892
      @nunyabizness4892 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@davedempster3405 i was thinking the punchline for this one would do with boa-constructors :P

    • @matthewgood9681
      @matthewgood9681 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That's hilarious 😂😂🤣

    • @1newearth
      @1newearth 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Happy new week. Ellen White is a false prophetess and prophet Muhammad is a false prophet. Obey the Lord Jesus, not Ellen White who had the spirit of Jezebel. We are living at the time of the end. I love what pro-lifers have to say. They need to repent and attend church on the sabbath, new moons and holy days like our Lord Jesus Christ. *From one new moon to another, and from one sabbath to another, shall all flesh worship before me, saith the LORD.* No one will attend church on Christmas, Easter nor sunday in the new earth. I hate abortion just like him and we ought to choose life over death. Call no man reverend nor Father. Psalm 111:9 says "holy and reverend is his name" for the LORD. The Holy Ghost is our Comforter and part of the Godhead, not an angel. Pork (swine), chicken, turkey are unclean. We can eat doves, pigeon, quail, beef, grasshopper, etc. Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

  • @dmitriymarushchak5497
    @dmitriymarushchak5497 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +73

    Poor Nehemiah was nice and easygoing, but he began putting up walls later in life.

    • @SikiDlanga
      @SikiDlanga 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      🤣

    • @Allen-L-Canada
      @Allen-L-Canada 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      pun intended.

  • @debramokua4832
    @debramokua4832 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1001

    Several years ago at a prestigious university, a philosophy professor gave his students a one-question final exam. He picked up a chair, placed it on top of his desk, and wrote on the board, “Using what you have learned in class this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”
    Most of the students dug deep and wrote like crazy for the entire hour. Some of them churned out more than 30 pages of heady philosophical debate and logic.
    One student, though, handed in his paper after less than a minute. As it turned out, he was the only one in the class who got an “A” on the test.
    His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”
    Where to Take It from Here…
    Most atheists who believe they can disprove the existence of God using their philosophical and reasoning skills often unwittingly end up acknowledging his existence. God has made himself known in his creation and revealed himself in the lives of his people, leaving the atheist with the formidable task of trying to disprove the obvious.
    The story is told of an atheist who said to a believer, “I don’t believe God exists.” The believer thought for a minute and said, “Well, I don’t think God believes you exist, either.” The atheist blurted out, “What do you mean! He has to believe I exist because he created me!”

    • @giftfromyoutube
      @giftfromyoutube 2 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      This one touched me

    • @arianejohn1831
      @arianejohn1831 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Gold 🏆

    • @goldstandardsilver555
      @goldstandardsilver555 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      This isn't the zinger you think it is 🤣

    • @lionbolt2136
      @lionbolt2136 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Your Right most atheists try their hardest to disprove God but they sacrifice what it means to be an Atheist. There's nothing wrong with questioning things that you don't understand or even trying to disprove an idea or thought been when you blatantly are rude to people who hold that Belief or Thought and make it your mission to prove them wrong, then your not an Atheist in my book.

    • @AbidingHopeMentalHealthCoach
      @AbidingHopeMentalHealthCoach 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I have to ask… how can anyone write a page in 2 minutes? Type, perhaps, but unless they were writing in huge preschool-sized print, I can’t imagine writing that fast. I can hand write about 12 wpm.

  • @gracelynnolinger9749
    @gracelynnolinger9749 2 ปีที่แล้ว +805

    The Lord said to John, “come forth and you shall receive eternal life”.
    But John came fifth and got a toaster.
    😂😂 this was great, thank you guys!

  • @brianbrewer2909
    @brianbrewer2909 2 ปีที่แล้ว +468

    8thiest was my favorite one. This isn't exactly a Bible joke but...
    Before church a mom decided to test her daughter. She gave her a one dollar bill and a five dollar bill and told her daughter to give whichever one she wanted when the church takes up offering.
    After church the mom asks, "so which one did you decide to give? The one or the five?" The daughter replied, "well...I was going to give the five but what the pastor said changed my mind. He said God loves a cheerful giver and I knew I'd be more cheerful if I kept the five than the one!"

    • @giftij
      @giftij 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Pls explain to me how it's a joke, this is like my reality 🤭🤭🤭

    • @KumeOzoro
      @KumeOzoro 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The irony!! lol

    • @jopiewatdanook446
      @jopiewatdanook446 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      that girl learned a valuable lesson : - D

    • @glennmchenry6198
      @glennmchenry6198 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      An eighth-eist - Mine too....lol

    • @anonymousjohnson976
      @anonymousjohnson976 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Signs outside a church:
      "Do You Know What Hell Is? Come Hear Our Preacher".
      "Don't Let Worries Kill you. Let the Church Help".

  • @mikepounds8055
    @mikepounds8055 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +152

    Why did Jesus go to the Japanese restaurant?
    Because he loves Miso.

    • @GogakuOtaku
      @GogakuOtaku 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      As a Japanese food enjoyer, I approve this joke

    • @Rich-b3s
      @Rich-b3s 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😂😂😂😂😂

    • @DarcyMitchell-e8k
      @DarcyMitchell-e8k 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I love u too Jesus and this joke reminded me of lightning mck queen

    • @gabriellelovesJesus
      @gabriellelovesJesus 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

      that’s the best one right there 😭

  • @terryleblanc6868
    @terryleblanc6868 2 ปีที่แล้ว +665

    Who is most disappointed when The prodigal son came home?
    The fatted calf

  • @chuckw8391
    @chuckw8391 ปีที่แล้ว +210

    When Noah was unloading the animals off the ark, ….he said go forth and multiply!…..the two snakes 🐍🐍 shivered in the corner and said but we’re adders🥹.

    • @jamescox8978
      @jamescox8978 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      Then Noah said "Go over by that log table - because adders can multiply by log tables"

    • @brotherfredrick
      @brotherfredrick 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      But multiplication is technically a "repeated addition"😅. 5 times 3 = 3+3+3+3+3=15

    • @ajdjjamison3023
      @ajdjjamison3023 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @TheGingerNinjaKnitsandJournals
      @TheGingerNinjaKnitsandJournals 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Took me a second, but then it kicked in. 😊

    • @bosslady_sexton8171
      @bosslady_sexton8171 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This was good 😂😂😂😂

  • @paulmarin6380
    @paulmarin6380 2 ปีที่แล้ว +362

    3:55 was my favorite! "The Pharos daughter went to the bank of the Niel and pulled out a profit" 🤣🤣

    • @kmbn1967
      @kmbn1967 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yep .I agree!!!!

    • @bibleteachingsbygordonhave3716
      @bibleteachingsbygordonhave3716 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      This is a great one. What I heard years ago I think adds even more. She was the greatest business woman because she drew a profit from the rush on the bank.

    • @nikki_2.4
      @nikki_2.4 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      mine tooo

    • @garyfrancis6193
      @garyfrancis6193 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Pharaoh. Nile.

    • @jeandiehl5074
      @jeandiehl5074 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's the only one I actually laughed at.

  • @NightinLarkMC
    @NightinLarkMC หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    What's great is that we don't even need jokes for the Bible to be hilarious. God 100% has a sense of humor.

  • @ljb9001
    @ljb9001 2 ปีที่แล้ว +138

    Adam was discussing what kind of woman God was going to give him. Adam wanted one that would cheerfully treat him like a king, on top of caring for the kids, cleaning and cooking, and all without complaint. God said that that would cost him an arm and a leg. Adam asked what he could get for a rib.

    • @AsifKhan-hf9zy
      @AsifKhan-hf9zy หลายเดือนก่อน

      in real life ---------- adam asked for a bimbo ----------- eye roll

    • @tabitapaulet2864
      @tabitapaulet2864 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      🤣😂

  • @nathanhale7444
    @nathanhale7444 2 ปีที่แล้ว +388

    When does a joke become a dad joke?
    When it becomes apparent.

    • @ambermac77
      @ambermac77 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      😂😂😂

    • @michaelmontgomery3109
      @michaelmontgomery3109 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      HAHAHAHAHAHA

    • @cherish0712
      @cherish0712 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Funny but not Christian one haha

    • @peterdavis9403
      @peterdavis9403 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      When it's a full groan and it becomes apparent.

    • @mikerogers6136
      @mikerogers6136 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      When the finger gets pulled........? 🤔🤔

  • @RPMMarch
    @RPMMarch 2 ปีที่แล้ว +189

    Did You know that Noah was a financial wizard? Because while everyone else was in liquidation, he floated his stock.

  • @saraherwin416
    @saraherwin416 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +55

    I got more of a kick watching how much fun they had doing these jokes 🤣 🥰🙏🤗

    • @eboronkay
      @eboronkay 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I don’t know if I would say I got more of a kick out of watching them, but watching them was definitely a big part of what made this so good

  • @vsrocha1989
    @vsrocha1989 2 ปีที่แล้ว +289

    " believing only 12,5 % of the Bible makes you an eighth theist" Great one guys!! Love it

    • @sgttim8617
      @sgttim8617 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I Didn't get this one, until you Spelled it out, for me...
      That is Definitely a "Geh-SchNUH" -- Huh Moment !

    • @holayutuberos
      @holayutuberos 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      nop...

    • @iwishtobetexan6060
      @iwishtobetexan6060 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      This one was hard to understand. Does it mean like eightyish percentage?

    • @rebeccahowell9531
      @rebeccahowell9531 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      12.5% is equivalent to one eighth so pretty much yeah​@@iwishtobetexan6060

    • @jamesedwards6173
      @jamesedwards6173 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@iwishtobetexan6060 No.
      "Eighth theist" sounds like "atheist".

  • @jentsevanmiltenburg8577
    @jentsevanmiltenburg8577 2 ปีที่แล้ว +88

    Enjoy 😏
    A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
    His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car."
    The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.
    After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut."
    The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair."
    His Dad replies...
    "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went..?”😉👍

    • @simonewhite9848
      @simonewhite9848 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That's the best joke ever !!!

    • @LightGesture
      @LightGesture 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Priests serving in the Temple has short hair, cut and time according to all Jewish records.

    • @botlhalenxumalo280
      @botlhalenxumalo280 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😂😂 im cracking up hear.

  • @FREDAFMK
    @FREDAFMK 2 ปีที่แล้ว +548

    scientists told God they didn't need Him because they figured out how to make a universe. We challenge you. God said ok I'm up for that challenge. the scientist reached down to pick up a handful of dirt. GOD said oh no. Youve got to get your own dirt.

  • @Stewbie858
    @Stewbie858 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    Joke number two from me. There was a luncheon at the church Monday. It was a buffet. At the beginning at the table was a tray of apples. There was a sign on there that said only have one God is watching. At the end of the table there was a plate of cookies. And a little kid put a sign on there. Have all you want, God is watching the apples.

    • @angelinaquilimaco8105
      @angelinaquilimaco8105 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Thanks for the laugh! I needed it so much! If you only know what I'm going through right now! If you ever see this, can you please pray for me

    • @Andrea-hi1dp
      @Andrea-hi1dp 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@angelinaquilimaco8105I will pray for you❤️‍🩹🙏

  • @paulrosander1047
    @paulrosander1047 2 ปีที่แล้ว +220

    Jesus is preparing many rooms in His Fathers house. What kind of tiles does he want in it?
    Gentiles

    • @moma5232
      @moma5232 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      . The love of Jesus Christ 💝.

    • @dei-gratiagratias-dei7810
      @dei-gratiagratias-dei7810 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I can't stop laughing

    • @Khangel
      @Khangel 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ❤️

    • @ameliac504
      @ameliac504 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      That’s good

    • @LightGesture
      @LightGesture 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I'm a tile artisan by trade... and Jewish convert...
      He says, "unless you don't convert, you will not enter the kingdom."
      And "no uncircumcised person will enter."
      But i get the joke..lol

  • @b.c.fields1310
    @b.c.fields1310 ปีที่แล้ว +192

    Adam and his sons were walking by the garden and they asked him, "What is that place?" and he said, "That's where your mother ate us out of house and home".

    • @ajdjjamison3023
      @ajdjjamison3023 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @johnmwangi1779
      @johnmwangi1779 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Or... "That's where we used to live till your mother's poor dietary choices got us kicked out."

    • @ninaballerina2807
      @ninaballerina2807 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Still passing on the Great LIE?? Still blaming the ignorant fellowman to cover up one's own evil deeds?? Perhaps now you'll know why 'Adam' and his governing lies that governs his fallen descendants is called the 'Secret Power of Lawlessness' waiting to be fully exposed by the revelation of the last & the ultimate of all anti-Christs like Adam, their fallen first father, the very first man.

    • @AsifKhan-hf9zy
      @AsifKhan-hf9zy หลายเดือนก่อน

      "thats where we crashed out from after your mother tried to take a byte out of the Apple (computer)......."

    • @LavenderGardenia
      @LavenderGardenia หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ☠️ If that didn't start an argument.....
      "Yes dear, but why didn't you ask for forgiveness instead of eating it too? You knew I was beguiled by the serpent!".
      I can just hear it now. 🫠

  • @nqatha2229
    @nqatha2229 2 ปีที่แล้ว +218

    That anonymous source has great jokes.
    Thanks, Christine ☺️

  • @iluvBamMargera100
    @iluvBamMargera100 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +65

    After covid19 was over I told my wife we were like the Apostle Paul. She ask how so. We are on the road to Damascus.

    • @ajdjjamison3023
      @ajdjjamison3023 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      🤣

    • @keekers
      @keekers 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      🤣

    • @Revival_Channel
      @Revival_Channel 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      on the road to "de-mask" us.

  • @stevengauthier1457
    @stevengauthier1457 2 ปีที่แล้ว +510

    Who was the best DJ in the Bible Jesus he turned tables 😂😂😂😂

  • @memyselfandi4581
    @memyselfandi4581 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    As a former stand up alot of these were clever puns but the one that got me was Sampson being a comedian because " he brought the house down" that one was well written

  • @godschica14
    @godschica14 2 ปีที่แล้ว +468

    How does Moses like His coffee??
    - Hebrews it! 😂😂😂

    • @sonshinesingz1498
      @sonshinesingz1498 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      😆 🤣

    • @angelika013
      @angelika013 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      🤣🤣🤣
      GOOD one!

    • @katethegreat4918
      @katethegreat4918 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Classic!

    • @MartinLander
      @MartinLander 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Using Holy Grounds

    • @robinhood480
      @robinhood480 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@MartinLander And Holy Water ?
      Not funny to me.
      I get the jokes and like that type of word humour and wit ....but it just feels like it’s not the best thing to be doing.

  • @chazchoo99
    @chazchoo99 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +37

    I know I'm super late to the party, but this just popped into my recommended today. Seth used to be my youth pastor! Good to see him still making terrible jokes 😂

    • @GraceSchmied
      @GraceSchmied 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      It just showed up on my youtube sidebar today as I was watching a totally unrelated video. This is the best!!!

  • @its_davidserret
    @its_davidserret 2 ปีที่แล้ว +429

    As a Christian who's all in for Jesus, these jokes make my bones rattle so much, I love this haha!!

    • @SeanBeatsMapson
      @SeanBeatsMapson 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      So you enjoy the Word of God being mocked and joked about? Hmm suspect

    • @soloangel625
      @soloangel625 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      God bless you all 🙏

    • @tama3442
      @tama3442 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@SeanBeatsMapson in what way? can you explain politely asking

    • @paulbeahm3891
      @paulbeahm3891 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      As a Christian who's all in for Jesus,
      This is more blasphemy than I hear from non believing God hating pagans.

    • @SeanBeatsMapson
      @SeanBeatsMapson 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tama3442 it’s self explanatory... if you can’t work it out you’re dumb.

  • @madeleineabenoja8780
    @madeleineabenoja8780 2 ปีที่แล้ว +179

    This video is so funny. The contribution in the comments section made me laugh hard too. Thank you all. And I echo everyone's sentiment, please make this a yearly thing.

  • @Xktree72
    @Xktree72 2 ปีที่แล้ว +572

    I know it's not technically a Bible joke, but...
    A man was hired to paint a church, he bought 20 gallons of paint when he needed 25.
    He figured- "oh well, I'll add some water to each bucket and no one will be the wiser."
    The man finishes the job late in the day and decided to come back the following day to collect his payment.
    The next day arrives, he shows up to the church to get paid only to find it had rained overnight and washed away all of the paint.
    Standing in front of the church, scratching his head he says "what's going on here? It wasn't supposed to rain!"
    As he's asking this an answer comes from above "you know what you've done, now you must repaint and thin no more."

    • @christopherahrens5361
      @christopherahrens5361 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      I run a painting business loved that one will definetly use it in the future 🤣🤣

    • @Xktree72
      @Xktree72 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@christopherahrens5361
      It's always been one of my favorites 😁

    • @martinvanlaarhoven9726
      @martinvanlaarhoven9726 2 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      I heard this with the punch line, "repaint you thinner"!

    • @jesusfreak1568
      @jesusfreak1568 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Omgoodness!!! 😂 I used to hear my Dad tell that one 😂 almost forgot it!!!

    • @AbidingHopeMentalHealthCoach
      @AbidingHopeMentalHealthCoach 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Totally a Bible joke! I mean, it has a Bible verse in it.

  • @samuelcampos1411
    @samuelcampos1411 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Father God , I pray that you Bless and cast a net of protection over anyone who sees this comment. Thank you Jesus! ❤

  • @adoringAdonai
    @adoringAdonai 2 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    "how do you think Jacob's brother felt after his blessing was stolen?" I was so certain he was going to say "Esau red" !!

    • @jillebeling8237
      @jillebeling8237 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      I think he stewed about it

    • @GogakuOtaku
      @GogakuOtaku 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That's actually better than what they did XD

  • @firstlast9813
    @firstlast9813 2 ปีที่แล้ว +167

    The Doctor that delivered Abram's baby had a lisp. "Is it a girl?" No, Ishmael.

  • @estherolawuyi1687
    @estherolawuyi1687 2 ปีที่แล้ว +109

    The silence after the Enoch joke was perfect....I laughed so hard. How did I miss it the first time??

    • @dulcelopez5454
      @dulcelopez5454 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I couldnt believe he didnt get it... I was laughing so hard

  • @dmitriymarushchak5497
    @dmitriymarushchak5497 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +61

    I used to think the shortest person in the Bible was Job’s friend Bildad the shoe-height. But I forget it was the apostle Peter, who slept on his watch.

    • @nomustardcaptain
      @nomustardcaptain 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      That bumps Knee-high Miah (Nehemiah) to 3rd place!

    • @wilmalay32
      @wilmalay32 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 .... while I'm imagining it really...!

    • @MalkaLand1996
      @MalkaLand1996 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😂😂😂

  • @destinyrichards7079
    @destinyrichards7079 2 ปีที่แล้ว +149

    Jesus is divine and we are de-branches 😂😂😂 absolutely love that one

    • @dandehner1409
      @dandehner1409 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Keith Green used that one in his song "He'll Take Care of the Rest"! th-cam.com/video/dRQYKm-rsSo/w-d-xo.html😁

  • @veronicakebuka2987
    @veronicakebuka2987 2 ปีที่แล้ว +178

    Who does Joshua judge? Ruth.
    Joshua Judges Ruth

    • @SpokenGospel
      @SpokenGospel  2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Hahaha, good one! 😂

    • @tpurifoy2756
      @tpurifoy2756 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Like that one😂

    • @cg0825
      @cg0825 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Before Boaz married he was a ruthless man

    • @FREDAFMK
      @FREDAFMK 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      oh I get it..hahehohu

    • @charleslinley4288
      @charleslinley4288 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@cg0825 That's the one right there!!!!

  • @esther.1446
    @esther.1446 2 ปีที่แล้ว +84

    Your anonymous source 'Not Christine' did a great job!

    • @SpokenGospel
      @SpokenGospel  2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Haha, thank you! We’ll let her- I mean whomever- know 😆

  • @siunkii
    @siunkii 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    i've been battling with depressive thoughts lately and this warmed my soul so much. Thank Jesus for you two

  • @remylebeau4130
    @remylebeau4130 2 ปีที่แล้ว +308

    My Dad-Joke vocabulary has just increased 12.5%
    God bless you all ❤️

    • @nickolasdavis4
      @nickolasdavis4 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Clever

    • @grmix3527
      @grmix3527 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      God bless you brother

    • @jamesegan8184
      @jamesegan8184 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      No way you tell these jokes to your kids. They repeat them in church. Does anyone laugh. Really.

    • @GlowingCross
      @GlowingCross ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

    • @cherish0712
      @cherish0712 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@GlowingCross SAME HAHA YOU TOOK A JOKE FROM THE VID HAHAHAHA

  • @briankady1456
    @briankady1456 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +86

    This thought keeps coming to my mind: Do you suppose that Moses ever got so mad at the Children of Israel that he was heard yelling, "If I have to pull this camel over..."?
    Speaking of the Children of Israel, I recall a story I heard about a kid who came home from Sunday School and was telling his mother what he was learning. "The Bible says, 'The Children of Israel did this, the Children of Israel did that'...didn't the grown-ups ever do anything?"

    • @gary.h.turner
      @gary.h.turner 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Children of Israel to Moses (just after leaving Egypt): Are we nearly there yet?
      Children of Israel to Moses (40 years later): Are we nearly there yet?

    • @jenniferkenneth692
      @jenniferkenneth692 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      😂😂😂, clever child

    • @ajdjjamison3023
      @ajdjjamison3023 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Key3de
    @Key3de 2 ปีที่แล้ว +94

    LOL this is the best day ever! Theology + dad jokes? Two of my best things. Thank you for making this such a long video too, so many gems. And s/o to Christine for those original jokes, absolutely hilarious.

  • @dmitriymarushchak5497
    @dmitriymarushchak5497 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +37

    Did you hear Elijah’s prayer at Mt. Carmel? It was fire, yo.

  • @juliemoss1517
    @juliemoss1517 2 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    What did Noah say to his sons when they were fishing off the ark? "Go easy on the bait boys, I only have 2 worms."
    Who was the best financier in the Bible? Noah. He floated his stock while the rest of the world was in liquidation!

  • @jamesegan8184
    @jamesegan8184 2 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    A priest gets pulled over by a cop who says, "Father have you been drinking?" The priest slurs his speech and says "Only water, ossifer!" The cop says, "Well it sure smells like wine!" The priest says, "Oh, Jesus, he's done it again!"

  • @paulheimberger8406
    @paulheimberger8406 2 ปีที่แล้ว +193

    My wife's name is Annette (named after OG Mousketeer, Annette Funicello of course!) - SO, I've always loved when someone preaches the scripture about Jesus telling them to "Throw Annette on the other side of the boat"...

    • @ehimendeba7314
      @ehimendeba7314 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💯✅

    • @kmbn1967
      @kmbn1967 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Being a married person myself, I say that terrible...... , terribly funny, that is, lol

    • @annak4314
      @annak4314 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Sorry for your wife, but this is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

    • @safiyabrown8616
      @safiyabrown8616 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Cute

    • @fallen4rmabove
      @fallen4rmabove 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I bet you just look at her and smile when it happens lol

  • @margaretjudson1170
    @margaretjudson1170 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    A 5 year old thought he was old enough to walk to school by himself, so his mom was supportive, but seceritly asked their elderly heigbur if she and her young granddaughter to fallow him to school everyday.a couple of weeks later, the 5 year old and a little girl he walked with noticed the grandmother Shurly Goodness and granddaughter Marcy always following them so the girl asked the 5 year old why. The 5 year old ponders for a few minutes the says
    " my mom reads me the 23ed Psalm which says
    "May Surely Goodness and Marcy fallow you all the days of your life" "

  • @martinkolb5318
    @martinkolb5318 2 ปีที่แล้ว +424

    Lots of great jokes here! Definitely laughed way too hard at some of these! One my favorites is about the shortest people in the Bible. The shortest man in the Bible is Bildad the Shoe-height (Shuhite, from the book of Job), with the second shortest being Knee-hi-miah (Nehemiah)

    • @SpokenGospel
      @SpokenGospel  2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Hahaha, yea those are classic 😂

    • @earlfultz1665
      @earlfultz1665 2 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      But shorter yet was Peter, because he slept on his watch.

    • @sonshinesingz1498
      @sonshinesingz1498 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      😄 🤣 😂 😆 😄 🤣

    • @theChristfollower2
      @theChristfollower2 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lol 😂😂😂

    • @NihouNi
      @NihouNi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Bildad the shoe-height - that is brilliant

  • @marvac-r7916
    @marvac-r7916 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    🤣👏🏼Hilarious! (with a neat mix of groaners and classics)
    "dew" time / "Balem" out / "dey gone"🤣🤣🤣
    I thought it was going to be jokes *actually* in the Bible. Like when Elijah watched the prophets of Baal dancing feverishly and finally asked, Is he on vacation? Taking a nap maybe?
    ...Or when Samuel asked Saul, Soooo, if you killed 'em all, what is that bleating of sheep I hear? Eh, boy?
    ...Or my fav: Aaron when Moses finally came down, Hey, we just threw the gold in the fire, and BAM, there's a big ol' calf! What can I say?😁

  • @kitfisto6361
    @kitfisto6361 2 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    I once told my pastor "i didnt know you liked video games too !" "What do you mean young man?"
    And i stood next to him, pointed at all the seating and went "pew pew pew"

    • @peaceandhope7043
      @peaceandhope7043 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Huh?

    • @secretidagent
      @secretidagent 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      ​@@peaceandhope7043 Solid rows of seats in a church are called pews.

    • @HawickSouth
      @HawickSouth 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@secretidagentyes, but what is "pew pew pew"?

    • @gary.h.turner
      @gary.h.turner 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      ​@@HawickSouthIt's the sound made in "Space Invaders" when shooting at the aliens!

    • @ajdjjamison3023
      @ajdjjamison3023 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @fromny2ponce
    @fromny2ponce 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

    Okay. Y’all got me with Jeremiah and his French candy store. La Mints (Laments). Hilarious yet brilliant. 😂

    • @Sunrise-hm5zb
      @Sunrise-hm5zb 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      thanks for the explanation😊

  • @jebidesse
    @jebidesse 2 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    Why did Jesus put a flower 🌼 in his mashed potatoes? Because up from the gravy, a rose🌹

  • @livingpicture
    @livingpicture 2 ปีที่แล้ว +90

    How do we know motorcycles have been around since Bible times? David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
    Does God like stick shift or manual transmission? No one knows, but we know He liked classic cars, because he drove Adam and Eve out of the garden in his Fury.

    • @kindhearted3094
      @kindhearted3094 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I didn't know Trump was back then

    • @deelower8163
      @deelower8163 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey - did you go to what was then PCB?

    • @Xlentz0316
      @Xlentz0316 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      A stick-shift "IS" a manual transmission 🤣😂🤣😂

  • @tiquahbahttziyon8550
    @tiquahbahttziyon8550 2 ปีที่แล้ว +139

    Did you know that Mary had a song about her after Jesus was born? I think you've heard of it. It goes, "Mary had a little lamb!"

    • @HunterWilliford777
      @HunterWilliford777 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Lol never thought of that! GOD Bless y'all!!!

    • @elizabethbowie9753
      @elizabethbowie9753 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      My kids sang that in a church play, back in the 1970's !!! Seriously!

    • @queenlokilani
      @queenlokilani 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      My daughter used to sing Mary had a little man 😆

    • @nolaparton-jones8932
      @nolaparton-jones8932 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I like this part of it. Mary had a little lamb, and He became our shepherd.

    • @kmbn1967
      @kmbn1967 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@queenlokilani No!! I bet you laughed till you rolled!!!! Remind her when she gets older! That's one she's going to say, no Mom, let's not go there today.

  • @varianachiamaka7674
    @varianachiamaka7674 10 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Of all kitchen utensils, Judas chose *TO BE TRAY*😂

    • @creativity94874
      @creativity94874 15 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      😂😂 nice

  • @overcomingjeff
    @overcomingjeff ปีที่แล้ว +119

    “I wouldn’t think I’d laugh at a math joke.”
    Does that make David a …. Mathodist? 😂

    • @SpokenGospel
      @SpokenGospel  ปีที่แล้ว +14

      😂

    • @WorldHarvestCO
      @WorldHarvestCO 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@SpokenGospelor a masochist, I guess it would greatly depend on if you like math or not.

  • @MrDavesguitar
    @MrDavesguitar 2 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    What did Lot say to his wife as they were escaping Sodom? "Hey, are we being followed?"

    • @synyster_gaitas
      @synyster_gaitas 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      HAHAhahaha best one xD

    • @Yvola
      @Yvola 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      That's just cruel 🤦‍♂️😂

    • @laurachattin6037
      @laurachattin6037 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      This is the only one that brought tears to my eyes laughing!

    • @Xlentz0316
      @Xlentz0316 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Oh my gosh! - 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 = Lotta good ones here but THAT one busted me up!

    • @VielofDarkness
      @VielofDarkness 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      That one is just wrong.

  • @ariellebrowne
    @ariellebrowne 2 ปีที่แล้ว +189

    I apreciate how deep these jokes were and some of them you really had to know your bible to get them 😂 😂 😂

    • @jayela5274
      @jayela5274 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yes exactly!!! Good teasers fir Bible knowledge! 💯

    • @garyfrancis6193
      @garyfrancis6193 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yes they were profound.

    • @bellemusecore
      @bellemusecore 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      yes! i appreciated the depth of some of them. haha nice to know your word well, and encouraged me to know it better too! 😆😍

  • @salvationisforall4932
    @salvationisforall4932 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    These are too funny🤣🤣...I love being in Christ😍

  • @cg0825
    @cg0825 2 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    Jacob stole his brother's birthright. Esau it coming....

  • @cg0825
    @cg0825 2 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    Jonah was called to go to Nineveh but instead boarded a ship in the opposite directions. The sailors should've known something fishy was going on.

    • @Nov_Net
      @Nov_Net 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Nice

    • @priscilla6524
      @priscilla6524 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Hahahahhhhhh

    • @johnmwangi1779
      @johnmwangi1779 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      If Jonah didn't smell fishy boarding the ship to Tarshish, he surely smelled fishy when he got to the shores of Nineveh.
      ...
      Probably smelled too fishy for them not to believe his words.

  • @cyriaqueabessolo152
    @cyriaqueabessolo152 2 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    the best joke was definitely the not so anonymous source Christine whom they kept showing on camera lol. thanks Christine!!!!!

  • @metzdupcounselor
    @metzdupcounselor 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    One year later exactly and I'm seeing this for the first time. Thank you, Providence!

  • @naomizmiti
    @naomizmiti 2 ปีที่แล้ว +240

    "He is Divine and you are di-branch" is actually a line from a Keith Green song called He'll Take Care Of The Rest
    Just listened to it this morning 😀

    • @TheDrumDuke
      @TheDrumDuke 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I have that on vinyl!

    • @petran4309
      @petran4309 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The song goes "He is the Vine and you are the branch". From John 15.
      Nothing to laugh about, I guess.

    • @stephenvotaw3155
      @stephenvotaw3155 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Love Kieth Green!

    • @thomasramirez7133
      @thomasramirez7133 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Love the Keith Green reference. It means I'm not the only old Christian wandering around. 🙂
      I suppose the ending of "So you want to go back to Egypt" might be suitable for this video too.

    • @naomizmiti
      @naomizmiti 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@thomasramirez7133 I'm only 22 😄😄 but I do appreciate some of Keith Green's music

  • @michaelbradshaw6133
    @michaelbradshaw6133 2 ปีที่แล้ว +133

    What was the name of Isaiah’s horse? Answer; Is me! As he was always going around saying woe is me! 🤣

    • @Prisca75210
      @Prisca75210 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This. This one. I said - this one! Hilarious

    • @royanque8374
      @royanque8374 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      (after hearing this joke)
      Me: I've had enough.
      Isaiah: I'm not done.

  • @small6859
    @small6859 2 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    Which servant of God is the worst law breaker in the bible? Who? Its Moses, he broke the whole 10 commandments at once. Ahahahahaha 😂🤣😂🤣😂

    • @lilliethmiller7751
      @lilliethmiller7751 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Brilliant clean jokes. Was medicine for today as I was feeling unwell.

  • @kgosiking4228
    @kgosiking4228 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    This is the most wholesome comment section I've ever come across , the viewers just keep the jokes coming 😂😂🔥🔥