Lord yes! He has quoted the Bible to me out of Proverbs mainly. He's done this so many times I said " even Satan knows the Bible" and you basically just confirmed it. I would love to hear more about this subject.
I was in a cult for years run by a religious narcissist. I read a book called “Twisted Scriptures” that opened my eyes to the truth. I’m so grateful you’re discussing this! ❤
This is really good-thank you. Those who truly walk with our loving Father and truly love Christ with all their heart will not behave in abusive ways bc they have Him in their heart. Because they reject him and refuse to put down their self righteous deception, delusional thinking, self obsession and religiosity-they cannot know Him. If they did know Him their heart wouldn’t be dark, hardened, and full of wickedness as it is whenever someone consistently denies what their conscious tells them, therefore, God turns them over to a reprobate mind. Christ sees what they refuse to repent of regardless of who they think they are fooling.
My soon to be ex narc is manipulating our daughter. Telling her that I’m sending her dad and myself to hell for divorcing her dad. He used my faith to keep me hanging on and hoping for a better future together. I’m two months out and healing.
You really hit the nail on the head! Thank you for clarifying this for me. This is what I experienced and endured. God helped me to see and move away from the person who was inflicting this terror upon me.
They're intransigent and evil. You cannot do anything about them because people in the church will keep on supporting them no matter what. All you can do is leave for greener pastures, or in my case get suddenly banned from campus, ugh. These narcs are evil, they are predators and wolves in sheep's clothing.
I needed to hear this from someone. I'm tired of being beaten with the stick of religion, and hearing someone say a person can't be religious and an abuser at the same time is balm to my soul. Awesome.
My first husband.I wasnt really a church going type person,but respected him and I started to go with him.Lot of time we just got into the car,after the service was over,he was back to the same old himself.I remember one time I asked him before we steped out of the church on the stairs "can we move to the church"?!
You nailed it Ben. They twist God’s word to selfishly serve themselves. I believe that God probably has a special judgement for people like this. When your child dies and the narcissist spouse tells you that the Bible says you are only allowed to grieve for 30 days…What a creep!!
Thank you for talking about this. My family always used religious manipulation to coarse people into submitting by saying that if you don't believe in religion, if you're bisexual, etc.you're going straight to Hell. Religious manipulators make religion look really bad by making it seem like it's a dictatorship.
Excellent topic, many in the comments would like to hear more on this. My mother is a communal covert Narc & the biggest hypocrite behind closed doors. Guilting, shaming, controlling, manipulating & abusing her daughter. It is crazy that all she cares about is looking good to the public & I would be hard up to find one person to believe me about her treatment of me. Everyone thinks she is the hardest working, caring, hero, saint at the church where she teaches and all the groups she is in. She betrayed me every time she could. I am no contact & miles away, but she triangulated my entire family against me, her Scapegoat. She is sneaky, vindictive & has never sinned in her goody two shoes life. She gaslights & told me: “That’s a joke, you’re not hearing God”. The damage done is beyond diabolical. I am healing, but so many trust issues & causing me to doubt & question my intuition & sanity.
What better place for an abuser )of any kind) to hide than in a church, making out that they have God on their side so they cannot be challenged. I remember hearing a police expert on child sex abuse talking about why it's so rife in churches - the power structures put church leaders above questioning. He said that whenever they were caught, they were never apologetic - they all said 'God will forgive me for what I have done'.
My therapist habitually used religious messages, and claims of what God predestined, and how God works in mysterious ways, and while in extreme psychological, spiritual, and emotional pain, would tell me, "Everything is happening the way it is supposed to. God won't give you more than you can handle. You can't walk around it. You have to walk through it. No pain. No gain." Every week at the end of our one hour session, she hugged me, and told me, "I love you." I eventually was driven into such extremely agonizing spiritual, psychological, and emotional pain that I started wondering why God wanted me to suffer. I was completely confused about what it was I was supposed to be learning. Extreme suffering caused me to go to counseling. I did not know how to deal with my alcohol addicted mother or the pain she continuously poured into my life, and my children's lives. My therapist used a mix bag of God/religious messages, how people normally handle things, what people in other societies believe is natural behavior, and sharing about her own life, and even about the lives of colleagues. My therapist told me, "All the professionals are having affairs. Boys will be boys, and girls will be girls. The psychiatrists are as crazy as loons." She told me about her own affair with a priest who lived rent free on church property, and therefore, didn't need his money, and he "gave me gifts". I suspect that the God stamp of approval, and how people normally do things, and what other societies regard as natural behavior, such as having sex in front of their own children, and telling me, in regards to families going camping, " What do you think all those people out there in those tents are doing?", was all a part of allowing all the professionals to be having affairs. I suspect the psychology was that they altogether believed that they were assisting therapeutic healing for clients they identified as codependent. I suspect the professionals agreed that they were investing in codependent, deprived, already abused, needing to be genuinely loved, individuals. I believe they were rationalizing, and justifying themselves and their self entitled mindsets, and knew their agreed upon, and system empowered privileges would assure their way of escape from responsibility, accountability, just consequences. I believe they altogether knew they had demonization and criminalization powers, and all the support to use them. I believe they have destroyed their victims without a second thought to how heinously unjust and brutally monstrous that they wield God upon their victims. The whole truth of my therapy abuse and exploitation in the name of God and in the name of normal, could be a Netflix documentary. 😂
I just left a Christian abuser. HE'S in church first thing on Sunday morning all day. We aren't married and wanted to have sex. That's not right! He was very very insecure, very needy and angry all the time! I couldn't understand this and cussed like a sailor Day 1 of NO CONTACT/BLOCKED!
To continue, my therapist was a church attending, self identified, and regarded by her minister, and her church, and her colleagues as being a "christian". When she had driven me to confusion, and horrendous suffering which I finally realize God has nothing to do with, I asked for a different therapist. I was told, "You've already had the cream of the crop. There isn't anybody else." I was discarded like yesterday's trash. Much more......and a horrendously cruel 35 year nightmare created for me and my entire family. .
I had encoutered a 'Christian' narcissist who claimed to have the gift of prophesy - one moment prophesying and doing praise and worship and the next day going into a narcissistic rage coupled with profanities, yelling and the normal abuse and insults that go with this kind of temper explosion - you will know them by their fruit.
I used to go to a church but when the "ladys" started using narc abuse and good Christian judgment against me my speaking what I wore how my hair looked you name it I got out after telling the pastor he should have a sermon on judge not lest you be judged
True. I didn't see my family for two years because my husband said his pastor said no because we were married I couldn't fly out of state without my husband to visit my family. It was't till my aunt was dying he let me visit, but my family paid for the trip. My aunt was crying for me to get there before she died but I was 24hrs too late. He would accuse my of putting my marriage second fiddle because I wanted to take care of my elderly mom, calling me unsubmissive. Because I didn't dress according to the church standards, my husband said he could not be used at church because of me. He would tell anyone who listen how all he ever wanted was to be used at church but because I'm not submissive to him and his pastor he'll never be used. But of course it could never be that he argues with members of the congregation disrespects leadership that kept him for any position at church.
I agree 100% that you can't be both a Christian and an abuser. A true Christian is transformed by Christ. A Christian is someone who has gone from death to life through faith in what Jesus did through his work on the cross and resurrection. A person cannot follow Jesus and abuse others at the same time. If someone says they are a Christian and is abusing you, there is a problem with them professing something they do not believe in. You live what you truly believe.
The title of this video reminded me of a christian I dated once. What an exploitation racket.. he could do as he pleased because he knew the church would back him against me, the heathen who was leading him astray.
What is a Muslim abuser too. I have experienced both and the Muslim was more narcissistic then the Christian but on the other hand I was able to fiqure out and learn about narcissism when the Muslims masked dropped.All your videos and others have really heled😊
Someone who has a religious spirit and not the Holy Spirit. Attending church makes a person a Christian just like standing in a garage makes a person a car.
To further add to my previous two comments....... My therapist told me, "The government doesn't care that people don't have enough to meet their children's needs. The people in the churches don't understand. Most of them never really met Jesus, and won't forgive anybody for anything, including their own children who they eventually cause to end up in a mental health expert's office like mine one day, trying to recover from what their rigidly religious, don't have any parenting skills, don't know what normal is, overly punitive, unforgiving parents/caregivers have done to them." My church attending, defined as, "One of the cream of the crop therapists", presented herself as being a really loving, better Christian than the general church attending/believer population. She knew better than the uninformed general Christian population what really brings healing to the wounded. She and all the professionals having affairs, ganged up on me and my entire family, using the Christian public, whom she had defined to me within my confidentiality law protected therapy session healthcare services as being, "A bunch of know it alls who think they are everybody else's experts, who know the should, the could, and the ought to of everybody else. Never mind they haven't walked in the exact same shoes of who they are judging, and don't really know what they would do, or would have done if they had." I suspect all the professionals having affairs could have been using unsuspecting, identified as codependent clients, for sex to manage the stress and anxiety that professionals such as surgeon's, etc..., cannot use a pharmaceutical such as Valium or xanax to manage. Sexual activity, I suspect, was their pharmaceutical. Merciless exploitation in the guise of God's predestined soulmate, claimed as love, painted as a holy fairy tale dream will come true, defined as how people normally do things, but the codependent already abused client has sole responsibility to make it come to fruition.😢Abuse of power and authority, exploitation of belief in a loving God being in control, and so much more. Illegal, unethical, immoral, cruel, and unconstitutional inhumanities.
How tragic, let us hope you find a good therapist who isn't an immoral quack. There are many good Christian therapists who are faithful to Christ and the Scriptures, if you feel you need therapy, or just a safe person to confide in and talk to.
I think you need to talk about it more, I have a church doing everything you just said, plus use the bible as a club.I have never had a relationship with this critter, but yet the critter found a way to get my grandson in my house and use him as a tool against me 😮
Not so, there are examples of narcissists in the Old Testament of the Bible. it is an ancient problem that predates Christianity. Google and find some of the videos by a Christian woman named Shaneen Megji, for examples of this: - Nabal, Laban, Jezebel, and King Saul are examples of narcs that come to mind.
I don't know about this mutual respect thing..... I always took marriage as a picture of the relationship of God and man. 50-50 always seems to end up 100% women rule the marriage. Isn't the woman the picture of the flesh and man the spirit. I totally agree that the authority given men in the bible is used as an excuse to be abusive, but it's a legitimate and good authority. The flesh has to submit to the spirit or you will be an abusive jerk for sure.
100% exploitive. Narc men are attracted to patriarch leaning type churches. The Calvinist denominations tend to teach heavily on female submission and “forgiveness” and make the men “gods” at home. They also frown upon divorce in just about every situation and will lean on the woman to go along to get along with a narc spouse. This is not what Jesus taught, because He taught servant leadership. The first will be last, whoever wants to become great, must become the least, etc. I’ve been told, I need to let him “lead” the home, (in other words, go along with the sinful behavior). Jesus is the role model. Narcs misquote the Bible and use it as a means power and control.
Spiritual abuse was the deepest damage I ever experienced. It still affects me 30 years later.
😔
I’m so sorry, how cruel! Praying for your healing and peace 🙏
Lord yes! He has quoted the Bible to me out of Proverbs mainly. He's done this so many times I said " even Satan knows the Bible" and you basically just confirmed it. I would love to hear more about this subject.
I was in a cult for years run by a religious narcissist. I read a book called “Twisted Scriptures” that opened my eyes to the truth. I’m so grateful you’re discussing this! ❤
@@ShuTheRipper great book🥰
This is really good-thank you. Those who truly walk with our loving Father and truly love Christ with all their heart will not behave in abusive ways bc they have Him in their heart. Because they reject him and refuse to put down their self righteous deception, delusional thinking, self obsession and religiosity-they cannot know Him. If they did know Him their heart wouldn’t be dark, hardened, and full of wickedness as it is whenever someone consistently denies what their conscious tells them, therefore, God turns them over to a reprobate mind. Christ sees what they refuse to repent of regardless of who they think they are fooling.
My soon to be ex narc is manipulating our daughter. Telling her that I’m sending her dad and myself to hell for divorcing her dad. He used my faith to keep me hanging on and hoping for a better future together. I’m two months out and healing.
You are so right Ben. Abusers and Christians are totally opposites
Good word Ben. Some narcissists hide behind religion 😕
You really hit the nail on the head! Thank you for clarifying this for me. This is what I experienced and endured. God helped me to see and move away from the person who was inflicting this terror upon me.
They're intransigent and evil. You cannot do anything about them because people in the church will keep on supporting them no matter what. All you can do is leave for greener pastures, or in my case get suddenly banned from campus, ugh. These narcs are evil, they are predators and wolves in sheep's clothing.
I needed to hear this from someone. I'm tired of being beaten with the stick of religion, and hearing someone say a person can't be religious and an abuser at the same time is balm to my soul. Awesome.
I believe being a Christian and setting boundaries is a must however a lot don’t. Forgiveness is always mentioned. Harder when it’s family.
My first husband.I wasnt really a church going type person,but respected him and I started to go with him.Lot of time we just got into the car,after the service was over,he was back to the same old himself.I remember one time I asked him before we steped out of the church on the stairs "can we move to the church"?!
You nailed it Ben. They twist God’s word to selfishly serve themselves. I believe that God probably has a special judgement for people like this. When your child dies and the narcissist spouse tells you that the Bible says you are only allowed to grieve for 30 days…What a creep!!
Thank you for talking about this. My family always used religious manipulation to coarse people into submitting by saying that if you don't believe in religion, if you're bisexual, etc.you're going straight to Hell. Religious manipulators make religion look really bad by making it seem like it's a dictatorship.
Excellent topic, many in the comments would like to hear more on this. My mother is a communal covert Narc & the biggest hypocrite behind closed doors. Guilting, shaming, controlling, manipulating & abusing her daughter. It is crazy that all she cares about is looking good to the public & I would be hard up to find one person to believe me about her treatment of me. Everyone thinks she is the hardest working, caring, hero, saint at the church where she teaches and all the groups she is in. She betrayed me every time she could. I am no contact & miles away, but she triangulated my entire family against me, her Scapegoat. She is sneaky, vindictive & has never sinned in her goody two shoes life. She gaslights & told me: “That’s a joke, you’re not hearing God”. The damage done is beyond diabolical. I am healing, but so many trust issues & causing me to doubt & question my intuition & sanity.
I love that you're talking on this subject. Sometimes. I wish I could just keep all of the things that you teach in the forefront of my brain.
You can! You are stronger than you think
What better place for an abuser )of any kind) to hide than in a church, making out that they have God on their side so they cannot be challenged. I remember hearing a police expert on child sex abuse talking about why it's so rife in churches - the power structures put church leaders above questioning. He said that whenever they were caught, they were never apologetic - they all said 'God will forgive me for what I have done'.
My therapist habitually used religious messages, and claims of what God predestined, and how God works in mysterious ways, and while in extreme psychological, spiritual, and emotional pain, would tell me, "Everything is happening the way it is supposed to. God won't give you more than you can handle. You can't walk around it. You have to walk through it. No pain. No gain." Every week at the end of our one hour session, she hugged me, and told me, "I love you." I eventually was driven into such extremely agonizing spiritual, psychological, and emotional pain that I started wondering why God wanted me to suffer. I was completely confused about what it was I was supposed to be learning. Extreme suffering caused me to go to counseling. I did not know how to deal with my alcohol addicted mother or the pain she continuously poured into my life, and my children's lives. My therapist used a mix bag of God/religious messages, how people normally handle things, what people in other societies believe is natural behavior, and sharing about her own life, and even about the lives of colleagues. My therapist told me, "All the professionals are having affairs. Boys will be boys, and girls will be girls. The psychiatrists are as crazy as loons." She told me about her own affair with a priest who lived rent free on church property, and therefore, didn't need his money, and he "gave me gifts". I suspect that the God stamp of approval, and how people normally do things, and what other societies regard as natural behavior, such as having sex in front of their own children, and telling me, in regards to families going camping, " What do you think all those people out there in those tents are doing?", was all a part of allowing all the professionals to be having affairs. I suspect the psychology was that they altogether believed that they were assisting therapeutic healing for clients they identified as codependent. I suspect the professionals agreed that they were investing in codependent, deprived, already abused, needing to be genuinely loved, individuals. I believe they were rationalizing, and justifying themselves and their self entitled mindsets, and knew their agreed upon, and system empowered privileges would assure their way of escape from responsibility, accountability, just consequences. I believe they altogether knew they had demonization and criminalization powers, and all the support to use them. I believe they have destroyed their victims without a second thought to how heinously unjust and brutally monstrous that they wield God upon their victims. The whole truth of my therapy abuse and exploitation in the name of God and in the name of normal, could be a Netflix documentary. 😂
I just left a Christian abuser. HE'S in church first thing on Sunday morning all day. We aren't married and wanted to have sex. That's not right! He was very very insecure, very needy and angry all the time! I couldn't understand this and cussed like a sailor Day 1 of NO CONTACT/BLOCKED!
To continue, my therapist was a church attending, self identified, and regarded by her minister, and her church, and her colleagues as being a "christian". When she had driven me to confusion, and horrendous suffering which I finally realize God has nothing to do with, I asked for a different therapist. I was told, "You've already had the cream of the crop. There isn't anybody else." I was discarded like yesterday's trash. Much more......and a horrendously cruel 35 year nightmare created for me and my entire family.
.
I had encoutered a 'Christian' narcissist who claimed to have the gift of prophesy - one moment prophesying and doing praise and worship and the next day going into a narcissistic rage coupled with profanities, yelling and the normal abuse and insults that go with this kind of temper explosion - you will know them by their fruit.
My deceased father was a Christian abuser. Boy! It's actually a relief now that he's gone, I hate to say.
Lord have mercy,I didn't know that these kinds of people exist now I know.
I used to go to a church but when the "ladys" started using narc abuse and good Christian judgment against me my speaking what I wore how my hair looked you name it I got out after telling the pastor he should have a sermon on judge not lest you be judged
True. I didn't see my family for two years because my husband said his pastor said no because we were married I couldn't fly out of state without my husband to visit my family. It was't till my aunt was dying he let me visit, but my family paid for the trip. My aunt was crying for me to get there before she died but I was 24hrs too late. He would accuse my of putting my marriage second fiddle because I wanted to take care of my elderly mom, calling me unsubmissive. Because I didn't dress according to the church standards, my husband said he could not be used at church because of me. He would tell anyone who listen how all he ever wanted was to be used at church but because I'm not submissive to him and his pastor he'll never be used. But of course it could never be that he argues with members of the congregation disrespects leadership that kept him for any position at church.
Thanks for this information sometimes i feel like Im the crazy one!
I agree 100% that you can't be both a Christian and an abuser. A true Christian is transformed by Christ. A Christian is someone who has gone from death to life through faith in what Jesus did through his work on the cross and resurrection. A person cannot follow Jesus and abuse others at the same time. If someone says they are a Christian and is abusing you, there is a problem with them professing something they do not believe in. You live what you truly believe.
The title of this video reminded me of a christian I dated once. What an exploitation racket.. he could do as he pleased because he knew the church would back him against me, the heathen who was leading him astray.
What is a Muslim abuser too. I have experienced both and the Muslim was more narcissistic then the Christian but on the other hand I was able to fiqure out and learn about narcissism when the Muslims masked dropped.All your videos and others have really heled😊
Way overdue foe people to hear! Thank you!
Someone who has a religious spirit and not the Holy Spirit. Attending church makes a person a Christian just like standing in a garage makes a person a car.
People also use religion to excuse a sue and bad behavior.
To further add to my previous two comments.......
My therapist told me, "The government doesn't care that people don't have enough to meet their children's needs. The people in the churches don't understand. Most of them never really met Jesus, and won't forgive anybody for anything, including their own children who they eventually cause to end up in a mental health expert's office like mine one day, trying to recover from what their rigidly religious, don't have any parenting skills, don't know what normal is, overly punitive, unforgiving parents/caregivers have done to them." My church attending, defined as, "One of the cream of the crop therapists", presented herself as being a really loving, better Christian than the general church attending/believer population. She knew better than the uninformed general Christian population what really brings healing to the wounded. She and all the professionals having affairs, ganged up on me and my entire family, using the Christian public, whom she had defined to me within my confidentiality law protected therapy session healthcare services as being, "A bunch of know it alls who think they are everybody else's experts, who know the should, the could, and the ought to of everybody else. Never mind they haven't walked in the exact same shoes of who they are judging, and don't really know what they would do, or would have done if they had." I suspect all the professionals having affairs could have been using unsuspecting, identified as codependent clients, for sex to manage the stress and anxiety that professionals such as surgeon's, etc..., cannot use a pharmaceutical such as Valium or xanax to manage. Sexual activity, I suspect, was their pharmaceutical. Merciless exploitation in the guise of God's predestined soulmate, claimed as love, painted as a holy fairy tale dream will come true, defined as how people normally do things, but the codependent already abused client has sole responsibility to make it come to fruition.😢Abuse of power and authority, exploitation of belief in a loving God being in control, and so much more. Illegal, unethical, immoral, cruel, and unconstitutional inhumanities.
How tragic, let us hope you find a good therapist who isn't an immoral quack. There are many good Christian therapists who are faithful to Christ and the Scriptures, if you feel you need therapy, or just a safe person to confide in and talk to.
Luckily I don't use it to manipulate I speak the truth . The truth can never be maniplutaion
I think you need to talk about it more, I have a church doing everything you just said, plus use the bible as a club.I have never had a relationship with this critter, but yet the critter found a way to get my grandson in my house and use him as a tool against me 😮
I have a church member doing this
I th8nk in some ways that Narcissists probably first came about during the rise of Christianity. 🍒
Not so, there are examples of narcissists in the Old Testament of the Bible. it is an ancient problem that predates Christianity. Google and find some of the videos by a Christian woman named Shaneen Megji, for examples of this: - Nabal, Laban, Jezebel, and King Saul are examples of narcs that come to mind.
💯
👍💚
I don't know about this mutual respect thing..... I always took marriage as a picture of the relationship of God and man.
50-50 always seems to end up 100% women rule the marriage. Isn't the woman the picture of the flesh and man the spirit.
I totally agree that the authority given men in the bible is used as an excuse to be abusive, but it's a legitimate and good authority. The flesh has to submit to the spirit or you will be an abusive jerk for sure.
They pick apart the Bible to please them.
100% exploitive. Narc men are attracted to patriarch leaning type churches. The Calvinist denominations tend to teach heavily on female submission and “forgiveness” and make the men “gods” at home. They also frown upon divorce in just about every situation and will lean on the woman to go along to get along with a narc spouse. This is not what Jesus taught, because He taught servant leadership. The first will be last, whoever wants to become great, must become the least, etc. I’ve been told, I need to let him “lead” the home, (in other words, go along with the sinful behavior). Jesus is the role model. Narcs misquote the Bible and use it as a means power and control.
Amen, you are spot on right.