The beef fizz is probably killed by the brand ingredients. There's no actual ginger in canned ginger ale. Personally, I make it. Tastes much stronger than the grocery store stuff. Just grab some ginger, dice and/or slice it, cook in water, strain the ginger bits, reduce with sugar, and you have a syrup to add to club soda. Brand name gingerale is like 50% sodium. Tack that onto the 90% sodium Campbell's puts in their everything and you're doomed to drink salt. I recommend avoiding Campbell's. Try going to Fresh Market or a farmer's market or something and get a good beef broth. Campbell's tastes bad anyway. The resulting mix should be very different. Probably still weird, if not bad, but very different than the saltwater mix you ended up with.
uhm cant fine the mixing glass you used at 2:05 / 2:43 in your links -_- Am i stupid or is it missing? Love the channel btw and would love to see more vegan creamy stuff being made
Scotch people will probably murder me for this, but a heavily peated Islay with meat and smoke notes might actually make the beef fizz better (read: alcoholic)
Find someone who commits to you the way Greg commits to buying 33 cans of condensed beef broth so he can make a single vile cursed cocktail for our entertainment.
As a pregnant woman I’ve been dealing with nausea all day, desperately hoping for the relief of finally being able to vomit. Watching you drink your dog food juice finally did it. Saving the rest of the video for when the nausea hits me again. Thanks!
Greg manages to spill every pour of 60-year, single-barrel, rarer than hen's teeth liquor in his slow pours, but when it comes to Campbell's Beef Broth, he manages to get every...last...drop.
honestly, if I wanted to tie someone up in my basement and torture them to death, forget the rusty implements to forcibly remove teeth and toenails, I'm making them chug those drinks and not give them any food or water to cleanse their palates
@@blakksheep736 The only acceptable instance is if you’re making a fruit salad in gelatin, because I can see that being good. Think a citrus salad in jello or some mixed berries in gelatin, those could maybe work. But anything else, yeah that shit belongs in hell lol.
@@psyberian Condensed beef broth is different than beef broth. Which is probably why it was so salty, since you're supposed to add water to make stock, not just use it straight out of the can.
I freaking love going through 70's cookbooks and finding some unholy combination of bananas and bell peppers or chicken livers and mango, because new imported foods are emerging on the market, but we're also experiencing a serious comedown from the 60's as we transition into the hard-drinking, chain-smoking, cocaine rat race of the 80's.
I'm not 100% sure, but I swear I found the Smoker's Cough referenced somewhere in the 3.5e Book of Vile Darkness. But then again, even evil has standards...
Nat 1. You piss off the bartender so much he decides to mix you a, ahem, "house signature." Blind CON check to not look stupid in front of the whole tavern.
Having the villain burn down the starting village? Boring, trite, overdone. Having the villain serve the party Beef Fizz? THAT'S how you get across someone being evil
I heard of some people making bots with their sole purpose being to dislike videos as soon as a video is uploaded. Heard of someone doing it just so no one would have the satisfaction of being the first dislike.
The Cement Mixer: one shot Bailey's, one shot lemon juice, served in separate glasses and " churned" by gargling them together in the mouth before swallowing. We have strayed from the sight of God
We discovered this accidentally in high school when my friend mixed Bailey's with soda and forgot it for awhile. Obviously we made more so everyone could try it. Would not recommend
Beef Fizz, it took a bit of digging, but yeah, it was supposed to be one of those 'health drinks' that were popular in the 70s. It was supposed to repress your appetite. Seems like it works.
See. I think with the vitamins in the beef concentrate, the flatness of the Ginger ale and the actual ginger in the ale, it could work as something to help a drinker revitalize themselves.
Honestly I thought about the same thing, kinda like how the host even said "is this some kinda health drink?" Beef Broth in the form of a Drink just sounded like someone desperately trying to make something "healthy"
That makes sense. I was thinking that, knowing how much my grandma smoked, and how much cocktail kit she had, it's probably full of salt for people who've killed all their taste buds.
"Why am I doing this?!" Because the TH-cam algorithm abides, if I had to guess. That was grimly entertaining, but honestly, don't rush on making volume 2.
@@devilslamp7306 Hunter Aloysius Percy aka Hap is the villain from the Netflix original TV show The OA. And you have his name. That was the joke I was making.
Greg, you may need this. A friend of mine invented a drink in college called the Pink Panther: 1 part vodka 1 part Pepto He was Belorussian. And very drunk at the time.
He didnt invent it. I have heard of this abomination many times from different college parties that went on too long. Its to forget your childhood and wake up without an upset stomach.
Us Belarussians are truly crazy ngl. A friend of mine(also a Belarussian) also invented a drink in college: 1 part Hazelnut Soplica 1 part milk And it's actually pretty good
Friend of mine once mixed grenadine, a Pina colada mix and rum together and it turned the same color and texture of Pepto bismol and it was deeply unsettling to watch him drink.
A friend of mine makes one he calls “The College Experience” with ramen broth, light beer and (optionally) the tears of someone who just got a 35 on an exam
@@dolphinboi-playmonsterranc9668 I have had someone mean to get hot water from our "cappuccino" machine (basically just flavored powder mixes with some instant coffee and hot chocolates) and instead of putting water in their beef cup-o-noodles they put hot chocolate in it. They were broke and short on time so they ate it..... Apparently it wasn't that bad, I just took their word on it.
"I have nothing to rinse my mouth with!", said Greg, completely disregarding the shelves of strong spirits that would easily overtake the awful beef taste.
December of 2021 Campbell's soup introduced a series of what they call "brothtails". They include the Thai Chicken Negroni, the Mushroom Truffle Daiquiri, the Pork Ramen Mezcal Margareta and the Pho Bourbon Sour. Sounds like your next episode of cursed cocktails to me!
Yeah like a Laphroaig has a very medicinal note, something like that with maybe squid ink, I think it should have an uneven black color. Maybe down the vein of a penicillin but instead of floating you just use 2 full ounces and add the saline and umami from squid ink float/dashes??
I like a brimstone (a bourbon (maybe just an American whiskey someone will probably correct me?) smoked with peat and scrubb oak? old fashioned w/ Chipotle simple, does that count as a smoker's cough?
Two more cursed drinks: The Hot Hooker: The water from a can of tuna shaken with a shot of tequila and a dash of hot sauce. The Red Vine: 1/2 jaeger. 1/4 balsamic vinegar. 1/4 simple syrup. It kinda tastes like a red vine, I swear.
Next time, try a concrete mixer: A shot of Kahlua and a shot of lime juice, swish them around in your mouth until the Kahlua has curdled. It tastes like key lime pie, but the texture is honestly cursed
something weird to note: the beef fizz ingredients, broth and ginger ale, are both 'sickroom foods', things that are supposed to be good and nourishing for invalids, especially in an old timey way. tho they're supposed to be easy to keep down when you're nauseous, which combining them must negate....
"I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is Beef Fizz" summed this up so perfectly and hilariously. Never let it be said you're unwilling to go the extra mile for the fans.
"it should be layered- well no, it shouldn't exist at really, but if it MUST exist it should be layered" I CANNOT DEAL W THE ABSOLUTE DISGUST IN HIS VOICE IM CRYJGNGFJDJX 😭😭
If you ever go back for more cursed cocktails, there's some gems out there. My favorite, worst thing I've ever tasted was Gorilla Sweat - 2oz tequila, 6oz hot water, 1 tsp butter, 3 cloves and a punch of salt, heated and stirred until the butter melts with a cinnamon stick for garnish - truly foul. It tastes like wringing out a gym sock.
I’ve always heard that the 70’s and 80’s were the “Dark Ages of Mixed Drinks”. But I was thinking of ultrasweet, neon-colored blender drinks and layered shots. Certainly not this...
I remember seeing a 1970s tv show where a character was asked what they wanted to drink and they anwered "scotch and milk." The laugh track went crazy.
Hey Greg. You are brave my friend. I had to spit the Smoker's Cough out. Not to mention you had the coffee notes in there as well. Believe it or not there’s much worse out there. Try the Infected Whitehead. Kinda like the Smoker’s Cough but with tomato juice and cottage cheese…man the 70’s were a weird time for cocktails. I know cause that’s when I started bartending. Excellent episode. Had me laughing pretty hard. Haven’t tried the Beef Fizz. May have to add that one to the wheel. Keep doing what you do and thanks so much for the shout out! Good luck on round 2 if you so dare! Oh and big congrats on 1 million! Cheers from Canada.
That first drink is something you’d find being made for a celebration a while after a complete apocalypse. Like you wanna celebrate but you’re stuck with the random preserved foods and stale ginger ale you can scavenge.
Merch Idea: sell your ICONIC red plaid shirt with a subtle "HTD" ("ahrange"?) stitching on the pocket. I'm not a brand guy but would be more than happy to rep the channel.
"Cursed Cocktails Volume One" *Immediately after* "Will I do this again?" Sound like that "Volume One" comment answered your question. Sincerely though this is hilarious content and I'd love to see more. I need an arsenal for those party dares and this is helpful
😂😂😂😂the power of adding water to things condensed and then mixing is recommended...but still...yeah...gimme Jesus...cause you drink any of this stuff...you gon need Father Marin!
"Horse Jizz," is basically just a poor man's Irish Car Bomb. Milk instead of Irish Cream. The dairy curdles quickly in the presence of alcohol, so you have to chug it immediately.
If you ever go to Ireland don't order it as an Irish car bomb! Just order the drink components. I had a buddy order one when we travelled to Ireland after I told him not too. The bartender made the drink but served it to him saying. "Here's your 9/11." They don't exactly like when we humorously bring up a dark violent part of their history. Funny story though lol
When I was a child, I once brought home a report card with all D’s and F’s on it. The feeling I had in my soul when I heard my father’s car pull in the driveway that evening is how I felt watching Greg steel himself for the smokers cough...
Quick pitch for a follow up video: "Saving the cursed drinks"? 🤔 where you try to make them work somehow, by changing them up, while still keeping the original premise in some way?
Now that I've watched the video, I'd like to say: great video, thank you for the heart, 💖💜💛 and we appreciate your willingness to torture yourself for our entertainment! 🤣✌🏻🍹💜
I’ve seen something similar where you drop a shot of Baileys into a glass of Guinness. You’re supposed to drink it as fast as you can before it curdles too much
*Title is "Cursed Cocktails"* Me: Can't be too bad, it's clearly hyperbole *There's a tin of soup in the intro sequence* Me: Yep, there's some messed up things in here *begins excorcising laptop*
@@Zivon96 Let's see... Khorne hates it because it isn't people getting into mass melee combat. Tzeentch hates it because it's closer to Nurgle's schtick. Nurgle has fucking standards when it comes to how gross shit can get. And Slaanesh is mad cuz they can't fuck it/get high off it. Yeah, checks out.
If Horse Jizz has an origin, I would go to Steinbeck’s “Canery Row” for it. Doc got the idea of beer float stuck in his head. After getting pissed at a hitchhiker he ordered one in a diner. Just milk, not ice cream.
Similar to a “drinks that embody 2020” list I saw recently. I thought a zombie brain hemorrhage looked a little more disgusting than the curdled milk one here.
I actually quite like Kraken. I made what I called a blue ringed octopus with Calypso blue lemonade. It was a great " I'm a 21 year old douchebag" drink.
Can we get an episode of just drinks that are innuendos? All those weird shots and things....Just curious if any of those are salvageable or if they’re just gimmicks
Like alligator cum? Sounds gross, but is just equal parts midori and pineapple juice, with a splash of cream on top It’s one of the few drinks I actually wanna try
Only darkness awaits you...
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Bar Talk and Cocktails is a fantastic channel! I got into it when you tweeted Bruce's horse jizz video. But he really makes good drinks, too.
The beef fizz is probably killed by the brand ingredients. There's no actual ginger in canned ginger ale. Personally, I make it. Tastes much stronger than the grocery store stuff. Just grab some ginger, dice and/or slice it, cook in water, strain the ginger bits, reduce with sugar, and you have a syrup to add to club soda. Brand name gingerale is like 50% sodium. Tack that onto the 90% sodium Campbell's puts in their everything and you're doomed to drink salt.
I recommend avoiding Campbell's. Try going to Fresh Market or a farmer's market or something and get a good beef broth. Campbell's tastes bad anyway. The resulting mix should be very different. Probably still weird, if not bad, but very different than the saltwater mix you ended up with.
uhm cant fine the mixing glass you used at 2:05 / 2:43 in your links -_- Am i stupid or is it missing?
Love the channel btw and would love to see more vegan creamy stuff being made
@@-Banoffee He's made ginger syrup in the past on this show. This was in the spirit of making it authentic to the time period of the recipe.
You should have a series after this called cured cocktails where you take the drinks in this series and try to make them good.
i like how the first one has no alcohol because it already cuts out the middleman in terms of making mistakes
It could probably have benefited from a stiff addition of bourbon, but the poor bourbon...
@@Finwolven maybe a bourbon chaser to chase that evil away.
Scotch people will probably murder me for this, but a heavily peated Islay with meat and smoke notes might actually make the beef fizz better (read: alcoholic)
Witchydigit I could see that
Witchydigit maybe something really briny like Ardbeg
To be fair, I think all food from the 70s is supposed to be combined with a significant dose of diazepam and cocaine.
To be faiiiir
If it isn't then it's still a good suggestion.
@@robertstevens6671 Allegedly
@@robertstevens6671 tubi faere
@Erick Tun allegedly 😂
Find someone who commits to you the way Greg commits to buying 33 cans of condensed beef broth so he can make a single vile cursed cocktail for our entertainment.
I mean... 33 cans. Nothing compared to that watch.
No! God please no!
Find you a Greg
@@just4kickz93 If Greg was a chick I could use a Greg in my life
I was the 1000th like.... I’m proud
As a pregnant woman I’ve been dealing with nausea all day, desperately hoping for the relief of finally being able to vomit. Watching you drink your dog food juice finally did it. Saving the rest of the video for when the nausea hits me again. Thanks!
This comment killed me. 🤣
Omg I hope this was serious its so hilarious
Greg’s doing a service to the community.
hahahahaha this is so relatable. Glad you found the golden ticket girl
How’s the baby?
Greg manages to spill every pour of 60-year, single-barrel, rarer than hen's teeth liquor in his slow pours, but when it comes to Campbell's Beef Broth, he manages to get every...last...drop.
I was also laughing about that
I’m dead , the way you worded that was perfect 😂😂😂😂😂
truth!
TH-cam comments are the best, don't @ me
@@Nibtarr.
"The lemon doesn't wanna be part of the drink, it's rebelling"
Honestly can you blame it
Why didn't he heed the warning!?!
Nope, not for a second.
These drinks are perfect for when you’re throwing a party for people you hate.
honestly, if I wanted to tie someone up in my basement and torture them to death, forget the rusty implements to forcibly remove teeth and toenails, I'm making them chug those drinks and not give them any food or water to cleanse their palates
lock the doors and burn it down
...and you're about to announce the successor to your vast wealth...but wait till they've finished before saying it all goes to the dog.
Hot dog ice cubes to boot
If I've learned one thing from Dylan Hollis, it's that if it's a recipe from the 60s or 70s there's a very high chance it's absolutely vile
Especially if its labelled as a salad but uses gelatin.
@@blakksheep736 The only acceptable instance is if you’re making a fruit salad in gelatin, because I can see that being good. Think a citrus salad in jello or some mixed berries in gelatin, those could maybe work. But anything else, yeah that shit belongs in hell lol.
There's an equally high chance that it's surprisingly good.
"Disregard- the broth has found a home."
My disappointment is unimaginable and my day is ruined.
@@psyberian probably not found where he buys his groceries i guess
psyberian he said condensed beef broth specifically though.
@@psyberian lots of sick people buying broth is ny guess
immeasurable*.
@@psyberian Condensed beef broth is different than beef broth. Which is probably why it was so salty, since you're supposed to add water to make stock, not just use it straight out of the can.
"Thick raft of curds."
Yeah, that's the worst thing I've heard today.
"in the heart of the 1970's..."
Dear God that's food wasteland, it's not safe to go alone. Take this Tom Collins to protect you
I freaking love going through 70's cookbooks and finding some unholy combination of bananas and bell peppers or chicken livers and mango, because new imported foods are emerging on the market, but we're also experiencing a serious comedown from the 60's as we transition into the hard-drinking, chain-smoking, cocaine rat race of the 80's.
As a DM, it is good to occasionally research the depths of evil.
I'm not 100% sure, but I swear I found the Smoker's Cough referenced somewhere in the 3.5e Book of Vile Darkness.
But then again, even evil has standards...
Nat 1. You piss off the bartender so much he decides to mix you a, ahem, "house signature." Blind CON check to not look stupid in front of the whole tavern.
Having the villain burn down the starting village? Boring, trite, overdone.
Having the villain serve the party Beef Fizz? THAT'S how you get across someone being evil
The one dislike is from a civilized, successful human being, who has a family and will probably die happy
Not after watching this.
I heard of some people making bots with their sole purpose being to dislike videos as soon as a video is uploaded. Heard of someone doing it just so no one would have the satisfaction of being the first dislike.
There aren't more than 20 of those right now.
Cody Smock that’s because we like watching a man drink condensed beef broth, curdled milk with beer, and two spoonfuls of mayonnaise
@@chunkybacon5724 better than being kink shamed.
The Cement Mixer: one shot Bailey's, one shot lemon juice, served in separate glasses and " churned" by gargling them together in the mouth before swallowing.
We have strayed from the sight of God
Who in gods name thought this was a good idea?!
@@chestbumphero I have no idea, but it was a thing you tried to trick people into doing (once) when I was growing up.
Cement mixers here are 3 shots of vodka in a litre of milk.
We discovered this accidentally in high school when my friend mixed Bailey's with soda and forgot it for awhile. Obviously we made more so everyone could try it. Would not recommend
This one is actually kind of fun, especially if you don't know what's coming. Follow it up by chugging a pint of Guinness (yes, Guinness).
Obtuse, Rubber Goose, Green Moose, Guava Juice
Something’s off, Smoker’s Cough,
Beef Fizz, Horse Jizz?!?
I don't know how to feel about this
Hmm
😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆 Oh, Cosmo!
this is underrated severely
And now it's stuck in my head. Well played, Sir.
Beef Fizz, it took a bit of digging, but yeah, it was supposed to be one of those 'health drinks' that were popular in the 70s. It was supposed to repress your appetite.
Seems like it works.
See. I think with the vitamins in the beef concentrate, the flatness of the Ginger ale and the actual ginger in the ale, it could work as something to help a drinker revitalize themselves.
Dude, just do cocaine.... it's the 70s, just do cocaine my dude....
Probably better for your health in the end btw...
Honestly I thought about the same thing, kinda like how the host even said "is this some kinda health drink?"
Beef Broth in the form of a Drink just sounded like someone desperately trying to make something "healthy"
That makes sense. I was thinking that, knowing how much my grandma smoked, and how much cocktail kit she had, it's probably full of salt for people who've killed all their taste buds.
If you wanted to suppress your appetite, just drink some vinegar., Lol.
Truly the Edgar Allen Poe of bartenders, both in terms of prose and the terrors you've unleashed on my screen.
"Why am I doing this?!"
Because the TH-cam algorithm abides, if I had to guess.
That was grimly entertaining, but honestly, don't rush on making volume 2.
His eyes looked so alive at the start.
His eyes looked so dead at the end.
This man, who can't get all 1.5 oz of liquor into any drink without spilling half of it, didn't waste a drop of that beef broth.
That is a very nice OC profile tag :)
Are you pony HAP? Dr. Percy?
@@jaimemunoz5920 what? I don't know who that is, so I guess not.
@@devilslamp7306 Hunter Aloysius Percy aka Hap is the villain from the Netflix original TV show The OA. And you have his name. That was the joke I was making.
@@jaimemunoz5920 ah. I saw a few episodes but I must have stopped watching before a villain showed up. Carry on, then.
my wife is a sympathetic vomiter and nearly lost it during this episode.
"Sympathetic vomiter" is something new.
I’m not, but can have a pretty bad gag reflex, and I almost threw up watching this, especially when he got to the Smoker’s Cough.
Jackass Camera guy must be one too
Is your wife Bruton Gaster?
@Babou Pastafangu Probably M C Clap Your Handz (with a z)
Pour some scotch in a glass and whisper "MacBeth" into it
Then stir
just make sure you're not in a theatre
Why would you name the Scottish play like that?! Truly a cursed cocktail if ever I’ve seen one
Hot potato, Orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends!
Greg, you may need this. A friend of mine invented a drink in college called the Pink Panther:
1 part vodka
1 part Pepto
He was Belorussian. And very drunk at the time.
He didnt invent it. I have heard of this abomination many times from different college parties that went on too long.
Its to forget your childhood and wake up without an upset stomach.
Us Belarussians are truly crazy ngl.
A friend of mine(also a Belarussian) also invented a drink in college:
1 part Hazelnut Soplica
1 part milk
And it's actually pretty good
This Pink panter you speek of is a swedish stapel. For The people just starting to drink at a bar. I have saken up way to meny.
it is made with Milk vodka and licure 43 and grenadin
Friend of mine once mixed grenadine, a Pina colada mix and rum together and it turned the same color and texture of Pepto bismol and it was deeply unsettling to watch him drink.
The smokers cough had me begging him no. You have a life, a child, care for yourself sir. Your life is worth living.
Everyone: Jaeger and mayo is a bad idea.
Greg: I'm gonna do it but I only have coffee Jaeger.
Hopefully the algorithm gods reward your bravery.
was it bravery, or was it foolhardiness?
Smoker’s coffee
A friend of mine makes one he calls “The College Experience” with ramen broth, light beer and (optionally) the tears of someone who just got a 35 on an exam
I made ramen with beer instead of water one time. It wasn't great but I'm still alive
@@Sue_Me_Too "Wasn't great" can also mean "Isn't bad"
I can provide those additional tears once college class returns
@@dolphinboi-playmonsterranc9668 I have had someone mean to get hot water from our "cappuccino" machine (basically just flavored powder mixes with some instant coffee and hot chocolates) and instead of putting water in their beef cup-o-noodles they put hot chocolate in it. They were broke and short on time so they ate it..... Apparently it wasn't that bad, I just took their word on it.
"I have nothing to rinse my mouth with!", said Greg, completely disregarding the shelves of strong spirits that would easily overtake the awful beef taste.
Overtake, or combine with?
The whole time I'm staring at the bottle of Cold Brew, no idea what's to come.
December of 2021 Campbell's soup introduced a series of what they call "brothtails". They include the Thai Chicken Negroni, the Mushroom Truffle Daiquiri, the Pork Ramen Mezcal Margareta and the Pho Bourbon Sour. Sounds like your next episode of cursed cocktails to me!
The Smoker's Cough apparently is how you summon the spirit of Donald Duck to possess you briefly.
I was looking for this comment 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hahaha
then straight into Alex Jones possessing him
I thought he was gonna explode in plumage and sailors clothes.
I read this comment before he quaffed it, and, Yeah, accurate!
Cursed Cocktails - Part One.
**PART. ONE.**
Greg, jesus - nobody's forcing you to do this. Unless they are.
Are they, Greg? Blink twice if they are.
@Ookami Panzer yes
I feel like you could make a decent cocktail called "The Smoker's Cough", something based on a very smokey Scotch.
An islay scotch with drambuie and ginger beer with some bitters like a combination rusty nail and highball
Greg, you name to reclaim all these drink names! Good luck with Horse Jizz.
Yeah like a Laphroaig has a very medicinal note, something like that with maybe squid ink, I think it should have an uneven black color. Maybe down the vein of a penicillin but instead of floating you just use 2 full ounces and add the saline and umami from squid ink float/dashes??
Dylan Vickers 🤯
I like a brimstone (a bourbon (maybe just an American whiskey someone will probably correct me?) smoked with peat and scrubb oak? old fashioned w/ Chipotle simple, does that count as a smoker's cough?
I’m always impressed at the professionalism of giving tasting notes beyond “holy crap this is awful; why do I do this to myself?”
Two more cursed drinks:
The Hot Hooker:
The water from a can of tuna shaken with a shot of tequila and a dash of hot sauce.
The Red Vine:
1/2 jaeger.
1/4 balsamic vinegar.
1/4 simple syrup.
It kinda tastes like a red vine, I swear.
The Red Vine actually doesn't sound too bad. I've reported you to the ATF for the Hot Hooker
That is an offense to all hookers in the world.
Ooohhh
First one sounds pretty good
To be fair it was originally called hot Mexican hooker
Power Aid:
* 1 Shot of Blue Raspberry Snowcone flavoring
* Fill the rest of the glass with vodka
ah, now that takes me back
That's just Riot Juice though
Powerwall
1 shot of jaeger
1 shot of tequila
I mean compared to everything else on the list
Nathan Witus we need some fight milk as well
This could easily be renamed “the sacrifices Greg makes for his fans”
I really like the episodes like this and "The customer is always wrong."
I hope you do more of both.
Why do you watch if you hate him so much?
@@matchavez8530 I suffer, therefore all shall suffer.
Next time, try a concrete mixer:
A shot of Kahlua and a shot of lime juice, swish them around in your mouth until the Kahlua has curdled. It tastes like key lime pie, but the texture is honestly cursed
baileys and lemon juice also works
That sounds indescribably foul
Ewwww no! Anything that curdles something is just wrong.
@@casualspawnpeeking3680 I'm told it tastes very good
As a very texture-sensitive person, especially when it clashes against good flavor, that sounds like an actual nightmare.
I don't even drink, but this is entertaining as all get out.
Yeah, I don't drink either, I just watch for the pours.
@@RogueShadowTCN same my dude
I used to drink and now I don’t after watching this.
Greg's drinking so you don't have to, at least with these drinks.
I honestly wanted to try to make some of the drinks but some of the ingredients are pretty niche. I might have to pick a good subset to make.
*sees title in notification*
OH GOD
*clicks*
Ditto
Out loud
I don’t drink but watching you mix that smoker’s cough made me realize that *I didn’t need to drink to know what that tasted like.*
something weird to note: the beef fizz ingredients, broth and ginger ale, are both 'sickroom foods', things that are supposed to be good and nourishing for invalids, especially in an old timey way. tho they're supposed to be easy to keep down when you're nauseous, which combining them must negate....
Must have been a sick man's drink and that would explain why there's no alcohol in it
That drink probably makes people sick.
Maybe a "day after" drink, for when you wake up hangover the day after a night partying and you need a "corpse reviver " 🤣
To be fair 1970's soups and stuff were a lot better than modern ones, they turned into some utter salt bombs.
Beef Fizz gives me nightmares
CURSED COCKTAILS
VOLUME ONE
*happy jazz*
"I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is Beef Fizz" summed this up so perfectly and hilariously. Never let it be said you're unwilling to go the extra mile for the fans.
I can watch almost any horror movie but that Smoker’s cough concoction made me cover my eyes
"This one's better than Beef Fizz..." well, it's not a high hurdle
He should have tried fizzing the broth in his soda maker. More fizz = more... Something!
you mean: not a high curdle
You know a beef fizz is not where the bar is
"For Science, I'm going to keep drinking." - Greg
"WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?!" - Dr. Weird
He was too busy asking if it could be done, that he never stopped to ask if it should be done.
"it should be layered- well no, it shouldn't exist at really, but if it MUST exist it should be layered" I CANNOT DEAL W THE ABSOLUTE DISGUST IN HIS VOICE IM CRYJGNGFJDJX 😭😭
Honestly if he wanted it layered he'd have poured the milk first. Then he'd have a beer with cheese curds floating up from the milk layer
If you ever go back for more cursed cocktails, there's some gems out there. My favorite, worst thing I've ever tasted was Gorilla Sweat - 2oz tequila, 6oz hot water, 1 tsp butter, 3 cloves and a punch of salt, heated and stirred until the butter melts with a cinnamon stick for garnish - truly foul. It tastes like wringing out a gym sock.
why would anyone do that, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit
Bro what the fuck
Did-
_did we just see a b-roll slow-motion opening of a can of beef broth?_
I didn't know I needed that off my bucket list, there it goes
There's some soundbites here that would be.... interesting out of context
Hoooorrrssseee jiiiizzzzzz 𝅘𝅥𝅮
I'm waiting for the inevitable htd TH-cam poops
"close your eyes and really be objective about what's happening in your mouth"
6:57
Also @15:03
"I just need to fit it all in my mouth, I just need to fit it all in my mouth"
"I'M DRINKING HORSE JIZZ!"
Very Interesting out of context quotes there
😂
a supercut of this video's worst moments could go viral
I'm just trying to put it all in my mouth
Greg: I'm gonna put mayo in jagermeister
Me: I shouldn't be eating dinner right now
I’ve always heard that the 70’s and 80’s were the “Dark Ages of Mixed Drinks”. But I was thinking of ultrasweet, neon-colored blender drinks and layered shots. Certainly not this...
They made fucking spaghettio gelatin so not surprised
Not like this
Not like this...
Yeah! Yeah, same! I... I didn't know what they meant by it. Just... yeesh.
@stockart whiteman it is amazing what people will put into Jello.
stockart whiteman had to look it up, pretty sure my Italian blood friend would dry heave into a bucket if she saw that
"I didn't leave anything to rinse my mouth out here," as he says, in a room with more than 10 beverages on display
Yeah, but chugging warm liquor to forget something isn't "rinsing out your mouth", it's "rinsing out your brain"
his eyes have no light in them by the end
I remember seeing a 1970s tv show where a character was asked what they wanted to drink and they anwered "scotch and milk." The laugh track went crazy.
NOW THIS IS QUALITY CONTENT 2020 IS SAVED
I feel like Smoker's Cough could be drastically improved (and by that I mean instantly vomit-inducing) with a little bit of liquid smoke.
ROFL! Yess DO IT!
I'm thinking an ounce of Laphroaig, an egg and a splash of strong coffee.
@@wingracer1614 Sounds like one hell of a hangover cure
Garnish with an actual lit cigarette
@@friththecrow975 Absolutely it is. But with an improvement. Mix->serve to someone who is very drunk-> run like Usain Bolt
Hey Greg. You are brave my friend. I had to spit the Smoker's Cough out. Not to mention you had the coffee notes in there as well.
Believe it or not there’s much worse out there. Try the Infected Whitehead. Kinda like the Smoker’s Cough but with tomato juice and cottage cheese…man the 70’s were a weird time for cocktails. I know cause that’s when I started bartending. Excellent episode. Had me laughing pretty hard. Haven’t tried the Beef Fizz. May have to add that one to the wheel. Keep doing what you do and thanks so much for the shout out! Good luck on round 2 if you so dare! Oh and big congrats on 1 million! Cheers from Canada.
Ah there's Bruce. Better the viewer than the participant :D.
That first drink is something you’d find being made for a celebration a while after a complete apocalypse. Like you wanna celebrate but you’re stuck with the random preserved foods and stale ginger ale you can scavenge.
Merch Idea: sell your ICONIC red plaid shirt with a subtle "HTD" ("ahrange"?) stitching on the pocket. I'm not a brand guy but would be more than happy to rep the channel.
As a connoisseur of fine plaid shirts I would absolutely buy that
@@JHunterLee I'm gonna be honest, yea I'd buy an HTD red flannel
Guess I'd get one too.
I'd buy that
I'd buy that too
"Cursed Cocktails Volume One"
*Immediately after*
"Will I do this again?"
Sound like that "Volume One" comment answered your question.
Sincerely though this is hilarious content and I'd love to see more. I need an arsenal for those party dares and this is helpful
This is 100% the content i signed up for.
This episode is a gold mine of “How to Drink out of context”
Me:”how cursed can a cocktail actually be?”
Intro:*can of beef broth being opened*
Me:”THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU ✝️”
😂😂😂😂the power of adding water to things condensed and then mixing is recommended...but still...yeah...gimme Jesus...cause you drink any of this stuff...you gon need Father Marin!
"Horse Jizz," is basically just a poor man's Irish Car Bomb. Milk instead of Irish Cream.
The dairy curdles quickly in the presence of alcohol, so you have to chug it immediately.
It's acid it curdles because of, same as to why "Redbull and milk" was a challenge at one point
If you ever go to Ireland don't order it as an Irish car bomb! Just order the drink components. I had a buddy order one when we travelled to Ireland after I told him not too. The bartender made the drink but served it to him saying. "Here's your 9/11." They don't exactly like when we humorously bring up a dark violent part of their history. Funny story though lol
@@chrislebelmusic1540 Some bartender. Doesn't he know that a 9/11 is two kamikazes in a manhattan?
@Kerithanos *horrified slow clap*
@@Kerithanos This is so good.
The Beef Fizz seems like a version on the Prairie Oyster that was invented by an Arby's employee coming back to work after a two week bender.
pretty sure that arby's employees can show up to work sloshed out of their minds and still be more sober than anyone who gets food there
When I was a child, I once brought home a report card with all D’s and F’s on it. The feeling I had in my soul when I heard my father’s car pull in the driveway that evening is how I felt watching Greg steel himself for the smokers cough...
Quick pitch for a follow up video: "Saving the cursed drinks"?
🤔 where you try to make them work somehow, by changing them up, while still keeping the original premise in some way?
the only way to save them is to empty them down the drain and never speak of them ever again.
@@ChaosWolf1982 probably 😂👍🏻
you could probably make the horse jizz more palatable by letting it fully curdle then filtering it to make like a beer clarified milk punch.
Maybe just take the name and safe it. Could work for the smokers cough. A spicy smoky drink. Like a mire sophisticated fireball whisky
I was just about to respond with something like this. I would also say to hell with the original premise of the drink, just keep the names.
"This lemon is oddly small and hard."
Please don't kink shame your fruits.
class comment
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahayouretheworsthahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Ah yes, in the words of G. McElroy, “The hallmark of a great cocktail: it’s mostly milk.”
There is a real beer and milk cocktail, under the less-NSFW name of "Bilk"! A Japanese brewery invented it in 2007.
Was it any good?
It was pulled off the shelves wasn't it
Reminds me of the unholy Reddit creations of Peggnog and Pilk.. Pepsi eggnog and milk respectively 😭
In this episode, Greg takes several years off his life!
Saw the title.
Saw the introduction to the videos theme.
Saw the opening shots.
Oh boy, this is about to be great! 😁🍹
Now that I've watched the video, I'd like to say: great video, thank you for the heart, 💖💜💛 and we appreciate your willingness to torture yourself for our entertainment! 🤣✌🏻🍹💜
I've seen the "Horse Jizz" one called a "Beergasm" before. I'm not sure which is worse.
A beergasm sounds like an amazing drink, something that beer lovers love. Horsejizz sounds as bad as it looks.
A beergasm sounds like an amazing drink, something that beer lovers love. Horsejizz sounds as bad as it looks.
I’ve seen something similar where you drop a shot of Baileys into a glass of Guinness. You’re supposed to drink it as fast as you can before it curdles too much
Thank you for your contribution to the horse jizz discussion, Cinderheart MLP
I added Apple brandy to it and called it Big Mac’s jizz.
The slow-motion close shot of the beef broth can was truly a surreal experience.
*Title is "Cursed Cocktails"*
Me: Can't be too bad, it's clearly hyperbole
*There's a tin of soup in the intro sequence*
Me: Yep, there's some messed up things in here *begins excorcising laptop*
Sometimes you mutter prayers to the Omnissiah, sometimes you pray to him for forgiveness.
Shiiiiit, i didn’t stop at exorcism. I torched mine after cleansing it.
@@Asmusei That won't help, even The Emperor won't help you.
@@bolotniy I'm pretty sure even the Chaos gods would be offended by this...
@@Zivon96 Let's see... Khorne hates it because it isn't people getting into mass melee combat.
Tzeentch hates it because it's closer to Nurgle's schtick.
Nurgle has fucking standards when it comes to how gross shit can get.
And Slaanesh is mad cuz they can't fuck it/get high off it.
Yeah, checks out.
"Better than beef fizz." High praise indeed.
11:26 Horse Jizz slowly turning you into the demon from Ghostbusters. "There is no Greg, there is only Zuul!"
😂😂😂💀💀
"Does it taste like a smokers cough?"
"I mean, yeah. Like if a smoker, hucked a loogie right in your throat."
I'm fuckin dead 😂😭😂😭😂😭😂
Yo and me both
I was genuinely going through a depressive episode moping around in my room and this video made me laugh so hard my sides still hurt. Thank you
Here we witness a brave soul, throwing his mind and body into the grinding gears of terrible cocktails.
I salute you good sir!
The cursed cocktail "It tastes like piss"
Ingredients:
Piss... its just piss
Oh hey I love that one
@@Baby_boodle Hello Giorno
Piss with a tinge of lime served on ice
_Tropical Piss_
Abbachio’s tea
Jarate!
If Horse Jizz has an origin, I would go to Steinbeck’s “Canery Row” for it.
Doc got the idea of beer float stuck in his head. After getting pissed at a hitchhiker he ordered one in a diner. Just milk, not ice cream.
Holy shit you right, forgot about that book, read it in high school. Beer milkshake
I get the feeling that the second drink was meant to have Bailey's Irish creme instead of milk and it just got lost in translation along the way.
That would've been much better and I'll try it with my next stout beer.
Or perhaps was supposed to use kefir?
@@yesmansam6686 That´s an Irish Car Bomb. You take a stout in a large glas and just drop a shotglas of Baileys into it.
@@androssgetzko2098
Sounds good to me.
well, that version of the drink is called Stallion Ejaculate. It's the fancy version.
Re: the Smoker's Cough - I believe Lolsy over at TRY said it best when she said, "Oh, f--k off with your mayonnaise!"
Similar to a “drinks that embody 2020” list I saw recently. I thought a zombie brain hemorrhage looked a little more disgusting than the curdled milk one here.
The brain hemorrhage drinks are entertaining and not bad tasting at least (not great either though, your taste may vary)
I had that exact thought, this is great for drinks that embody 2020.
All these cocktails look/seem more like a handover cures, like a prairie oyster.
Please do more of these, this was hilarious!
*Mixes Milk with Beer
"There's a Thunderstorm forming outside"
Thor Is Angry! 😆😝
One second in and I already need to hear Greg reading creepypasta or something
I have never gagged from the mere mentioning of a drink's name: Smokers Cough.
Every facet of the universe is screaming no on that one.
Explain to me how thats worse than horse jizz
@@thefluffyneko4450 no one wins with a smoker's cough, but at least the horse had a good time
@@RighteousMane Atleast you tried
I knew a guy in college who only drank what he called a Scylla, Kraken spiced rum in Mtn Dew. I thought that was cursed until I saw this.
That sounds good
That still sounds atrocious
@@isetta4083 I tried it... not terrible if you do like 2oz rum in a whole 16oz bottle of soda.
I actually quite like Kraken. I made what I called a blue ringed octopus with Calypso blue lemonade. It was a great " I'm a 21 year old douchebag" drink.
@nickmessner700
Kraken makes a great Dark n' stormy if you pick a good ginger beer. (Reeds extra... or if you can find it...reeds strongest)
Can we get an episode of just drinks that are innuendos? All those weird shots and things....Just curious if any of those are salvageable or if they’re just gimmicks
Like alligator cum? Sounds gross, but is just equal parts midori and pineapple juice, with a splash of cream on top
It’s one of the few drinks I actually wanna try
And all the internet cried out in one united voice...
"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!"
I need "tasting notes" for literally everything in my life.
A someone who remembers the 1970's, I'd say that Lovecraftian horrors fit perfectly with recipes of that era.
"Stop! You have violated the Law." Was my first response to the dollop of Mayonnaise...
"By the gods, there's a psychopath on the loose!"
Woulda slapped a big ol’ “not” on that how to drink logo for this episode.
“How ‘not’ to drink.”
Because truly these things should not be drunk.
"These are CURSED COCKTAILS"
*Immediately cuts to beef broth*
Oh boy