4 Insane Drinks Ordered by Real People | How to Drink
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ต.ค. 2024
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Egg White Old Fashioned:
In Shaker
.25 oz. or 8 ml. Simple Syrup
2 dashes Angostura Bitters
2 oz. or 60 mo. Bulleit Rye
Egg white
Dry Shake
Add ice and shake
Double strain into glass
Garnish with orange peel
Paper Plane no Aperol (sub Cranberry):
In Shaker
1 oz. or 30 ml. Lemon Juice
1 oz. or 30 ml. Cranberry Juice
1 oz. or 30 ml. Amaro Nonino
1 oz. or 30 ml. Baker's 7 year old bourbon
Add ice and shake
Strain into glass
Midori Margarita:
In Shaker
1 oz. or 30 ml. lime juice
1 oz. or 30 ml. Midori
1 oz. or 60 ml. Fortaleza Tequila Blanco
Add ice and shake
Strain into glass
Malibuish Pineapple Old Fashioned:
In glass
Few dashes of Angostura Bitters
Drop of simple syrup
2 oz. - 60 ml. Parrot Bay Pineapple Rum (Malibu Pineapple alt)
Stir
twist of orange
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You should try them again with that pill that changes your taste buds. Might improve the taste, also from the description.of these drinks the people are likely on drugs at the time.
I thank you sir for the laughs while I deal with customer service... I don't drink often but I feel like once I got a good day off I want to make a cocktail or two for myself, well... not one bad I hope. XD
Maybe the pineapple (rum) old fasioned would be better if you used Plantation pineapple? 🤔 and maybe switch the "plain" simple with a pineapple simple? 🤔😅🤔🤷♂️🤷♂️
If you’re feeling up to the challenge, maybe try some of the drinks from Bar Eastern, a collection of Touhou-themed cocktails!
When Greg the Flaming atheist starts quoting revelations in order to describe exactly how bad a drink is you know it should never be made....
This needs to be an ongoing series 😁
Yes! I’m with you Steve! Please do more of this!
I don't want greg to do any more cursed cocktails, but more of this, and how to 'fix' them, wouldn't be bad.
@@Brion57042 That would be interesting. Most of these drinks are simply amateur modifications made for whatever reason. If Greg can figure out what the customer was aiming for with their order, there could be some potential for a couple of legitimately decent alternatives to classic cocktails.
As long as Greg survives!
I would watch this, until Greg finally loses battle with the madness of tasting the Things That Should Not Be, and we finally open with the last episode, where Greg sits surrounded by horrible drinks in the dark, leaning forward to push forward the Final Frontier: The Pineapple Malibu Old Fashioned With Egg-White And Midori.
I really don't want to ask for more of this (or cursed cocktails for that matter) because that feels abjectly cruel of me to specifically ask for you to suffer for my enjoyment... But I can say that I would watch every single one.
I second the sentiment
As long as I don't have to make or taste it, I say it should be done for science.
We want more
I’ll ask for it, Greg makes good money being goofy on TH-cam so…bring the clickies!
I concur that it is cruel to watch you do this however I am laughing wholeheartedly at you doing it. Please bring more.
I need to see Greg suffer more because every word out of the tasting notes is the funniest thing I've heard all week. The Malibu pineapple old fashioned breakdown rant is going to live in my head forever
Combining motor oil and horse cum only makes sense in this context 🤣
_Crawling madness! Abandon all hope! The drink of the Beast!_ XD
“....It has no goodness..... it has no- there is no goodness in this! It has a soul that it made of just, vile filth. It is a bleak abyss of despair. This drink is worse... than any drink has a right to be....”
-the midori margarita grinch-tale
Oh, I forgot “it must be poured into the gutter of history.”
@@RelativelyBest reading this made me think of Nyarlathotep the crawling chaos having these choking
I’d love to see you do a reversal series of this like “the customer is always right” and it’s odd recipes that actually work
I'd like to see a series that doesn't have two ads in the first five minutes, the second of which he said he'd "keep it short" only for it to be a full 90 seconds long.
@@andrewsparkes6275 its a 20 min long video, dudes gotta make money, and most people dont see the other 2 ads as they are running adblocker. Also a 90 second ad is insanely short for a 20 min video. Back when cable tv was a thing that people used, a 20 min long episode would have 10 minutes of ads, or a 40 min long episode would have literally 20 min of ads
@@agentbarron3945 I'm not talking about the TH-cam ads; I'm saying he ran two ads in the video itself within the first five minutes (first the pins/sponsor for the video itself, then the second one he claimed he'd do quickly). He could have easily spaced those out in the video. And if the second one paid more to do it in the first five minutes...he could have done the second a little later on ("Hey, if you enjoy this video, this is the reason it's happening; the site that makes these pins!"). And if BOTH requested in the first five minutes and he took both, that's the problem I'm talking about with TH-camrs valuing money over the content itself, to the point of annoyance. It's possible - if negotiated right - to get good rates on ad contracts AND make a good video that isn't completely slathered with ads in the first five minutes.
Edit: Also a 90 second advert in a 20 minute video is 7.5% of the video. That's a lot. Added to the other advert for the main sponser that sells pins, that was over a minute, that's over 12.5% of the video. A whole eighth of what you just watched was ads.
@@andrewsparkes6275 How much did you pay that it gives you the right to feel entitled enough to whine about ads in a video that's publically available for free?
@@BrightSpark Why aren't you saying the same to God God, who also asked something of the video creator? I offered constructive criticism, taking contract negotiations into account and so on; it wasn't just a meaningless, empty whine. Because that amount of ads (in that amount of space at the start) really cannot in good faith be defended; no good channel does ads like that. Ads being in something in this way means it isn't truly free anyway - you are paying in wasted time instead of money - again, a whole 12.5% of the video. Truly free means being able to watch it without paying money AND no ads, or at least an amount of ads that doesn't destroy the flow of the video as much as these did. Again, I offered constructive criticism on how to be a better channel with ads, which is more than you did when you DID provide only empty whining about my own comment. If you wanna have a meaningful debate about ads/contract negotiations/etc, I'm all for it, but if you're here to just vent and complain yourself, I'm out.
My uncle had a concoction called "A Witch's Brew" once when he was a younger and more durable man at a Halloween party.
The ingredients involved (no clue the ratio); Malort, Absence, Ango Bitters, raspberry Hi C, Everclear, 2 Liptons green tea packets steeped, and what he believed to be Dry Ice because it had a fog over it.
He claimed it tasted of "Childhood mixed with the great depression and a WW1 gas attack" and almost vomited on the spot.
Ah the glorious foulness that is Malort.
Well, *_that's_* an image
sounds like it would just taste like carbonated bitter white vinegar.
Hahaha why is this so funny to me. I wanna shake your uncles hand for drinkin that.
I had a friend make something called an "alien brain hemorrhage" which consisted of Bailey's, blue curacao, Bacardi 151, some type of absinthe, and listerine.
17:11 "Go into your bar and invent a worse drink"
I was like 22-23, new to drinking, and embarrassingly sober when I attempted something that might be worse. So I don't remember what cocktail I googled and decided to recreate, but I know that my version was blue curacao, gin, and simple syrup flavored with anise extract. It tasted so awful that actively drunk college students refused to drink it, which I think is an impressive accomplishment in its own right.
Oh boy the anise... anise has great potential for good and IMMENSE potential for evil
Me and my mates were once ordering random things for the hell of it and seeing if it works, I believe I ordered a drink with blue curacau, mint liqueur, and sprite, and managed to make something that straight up tasted like listerine.
It was the worst, also I downed the whole thing because I paid for it.
@@MetroidChild this is what terrifies me about ordering drinks as someone new to drinking. I want to try things but I don’t want to spend a bunch of money on something I’ll hate. Luckily my boyfriends hobby is making drinks. So by that I mean lucky for me and terrible for him because I’m always sending him things to try and he’s not as adventurous lol
@@NicholeParker The pub in question I'm talking about has an entire list of common drinks and what they contain, not sure how common that is elsewhere but that makes things much easier.
The only time gin is allowed to be with blue curaçao is in an adios mofo or a trash can and those speak for themselves
The "most awful drink" I have ever heard of, that might fall into "cursed cocktail" territory (so I don't know if it counts here), was Warheads candies steeped in a bottle of Malort for a day. They called it a "War Crime." Please do not make this on your show, I don't want you to go to the hospital.
This cannot be real
Chicago?
@@sarahvanbindsbergen2945 I only heard about it second-hand, so I don't know if the person actually created/drank this.
As someone who had the displeasure of taking a shot of Malort stone cold sober 1st thing in the morning (don't ask), I can tell you Malort is enough of a war crime already. Genuinely this sounds inedible.
Idk it might be better than straight malort tbf
okay so I went through an experimentation phase a while back and one of the cursed concoctions that came out of it I think might be able to compete with your malibu pineapple old fashioned. You mix equal parts Captain Morgan spiced rum, Southern Comfort, sloe gin, and pineapple juice. Finish with lime juice, about half the amount of any of the other ingredients, a dash of maraschino cherry juice, and a dash of Blue Curacao. garnish with a maraschino cherry. It tastes like old people smell , hospital food, and chemicals wrapped up in a saccharine candy coating. One sip and I was more acutely aware of my own mortality than I'd ever been in my life. This drink is an abomination against god.
I was horrified after Captain Morgan + Southern Comfort and it just kept getting worse
@@shadowbunny7892 honestly same lmao
Reading shit like this makes me wonder if demonic possession is genuinely a thing, because how the fuck do these ideas even occur
@@neruneri quarantine + at-home bars x boredom?
we found the person who ordered the pineapple madness
Pineapple Malibu old fashioned: the "none pizza, left beef" of cocktails.
Nah, this is a McDonalds Boneless Burger that corrupted the ordering kiosk irreparably.
@@zephyrm.6564 They have a bone in burger?
@@daggumnametaken yes
Left pizza will never make me not laugh
The drink of the beast 😂
"No customer could be more wrong"
Oh my god, you distilled the flavor of working in retail.
😂🤣
Me standing in front of a customer going well this is the problem and since you've told me you don't want to fix the gaping stab wound that is the problem here's a little butterfly bandaid that you're going to have to constantly replace to 'fix' you're problem
Dunno from wrong, but I had two customers who probably left their brains in the parking lot.
One asked me if we sold hard liquor in our department, and I had to restrain myself from telling them to turn the fuck around and look where they'd just walked past.
The other asked if we sold, and I quote, "sugar free Margarita mix". It was all I could do to not walk him to Produce and give him a bag of limes.
I work at a hardware and landscape Store and the funniest customer I recently interacted with was looking for chicken manure. I showed him 3 products called: Rooster Booster, poultry Manure and chicken manure. He didn't make the connection that poultry = Chicken haha.
@@aqacefan My favorite thing to do in those instances is just say nothing and point at the product.
The customer is usually wrong, but statistics indicate that it doesn't pay to tell him so.
-Aleister Crowley
Precisely this. Well Stated, Dark Lord Crowley.
Only the dark arts could offer such lucidity.
To be fair, one should be careful taking wisdom from someone as messed up as that - true as this statement might be.
‘Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law’ doesn’t apply here.
Wait did Crowley actually say that? That's...disturbing.
I mean after Ted Kaczynski I guess I should stop being surprised
I just tried Greg’s Midori margarita recipe and I honestly think the problem might be his tequila choice. I used a different blanco tequila (Espolòn, if you’re curious), and while it is very tart, I would t say it’s as aggressively tart or bitter as Greg’s. Maybe his tequila interacted with those flavors particularly poorly.
Also for a bit of mystery solving, I’m pretty sure that customer thought of the midori margarita from the bottle of midori itself, which has a recipe on it for one that calls for 1 part Midori, 2 parts Sauza Tequila, and 4 parts Premium Margarita Mix
The tequila is what's subbed out, rather than the mix-in, it's a bit backwards the way he made it. It does exist.
Normally triple sec is added to the recipe
restaurant near my house does regular margaritas with a splash of Midori. they're decent. he definitely just did it wrong.
@@corokossa That's how my wife likes her margaritas, too. That splash adds a layer of brightness. Too much, though, and the Midori overpowers everything else.
Make it a Texas Margarita and its Perfecto!
Always down to watch Greg torture himself.
Here's hoping one of these isn't terrible.
Abandon all hope ye who enter here.
Two were bad, as you saw. One was apparently both great and terrible in equally horrifying ways - which leaves one curious to try, honestly.
Would love a sequel to this where you "fix" the customer's drink where you give them what you think they might want instead of what they asked for.
I think the same.
And so for the last one? Sub Angel’s Envy Rye that you infuse with pineapple.
Promise this works.
@@kimyt1689 honestly you might be onto something 🤔
@@alexwirtz9780 and then play with the bitters.
I can't help but think there's a simple fix for the Midori Margarita. Like maybe just switch to Casamigos.
@@ilznidiotic could work. If you ever get around to trying that let me know how it goes
You know a drink is truly shit when Greg gets eloquent.
"WARS... WILL SPRING UP IN THIS PERSON'S WAKE! NATION WILL RISE AGAINST NATION! THE SEAS WILL TURN... AS BLOOD! THIS PERSON IS THE ANTICHRIST!"
the most "war crime" of a cocktail I know, was one I made myself.
for context, I have like, an extreme aversion to the taste of alcohol and have gone through a great deal of weird ways to mix drinks to try and tolerate it.
my creation of the day was mixing aftershock, a very cinnamon tasting liquer for those who dont know.. with, sweetened condensed milk.
it had a weirdly pepperminty thing going on, and I reccomend it to no one except people who love candy canes to an hunhealthy degree
I have one I made in the barracks while in MOS school. Bored with friends = very dangerous.
The recipe:
1 can - Energy drink (I used Bang)
3 scoops - Pre-workout powder (I used C4)
5 squirts - Mio Energy
3 shots - Vodka of choice
*Drink this to see God*
@@MarioTheLiopleurodon jesus christ, no thanks, I choose life
@@MarioTheLiopleurodon I make a simple version of this which is a cotton candy bang and a Malibu in like 2-1 ratio and god damn it is wayyyyy to easy to drink
I love candy canes to an unhealthy degree... Part of me wants to try this...part of me is very afraid...
Used to make one called "Dew me after" of a shot of Aftershock dropped in a glass of mountain dew voltage (has be be voltage - anything else is horrid) jagerbomb style.
Very, very sweet. Not really a flavor I can describe, but it was sweet, tasty and totally hid the taste of booze.
"This Parrot Bay rum is awful! By the way, Parrot Bay isn't sponsoring this. Wouldn't want to show favoritism."
Maybe it will be like Halle Berry at the Razzies.
Oh we get that nasty in England too
"It is also unattractive. It is ugly, and just terrible. Just terrible"
- God, reviewing me before sending me down to the earth
Are the implications of this that God treats Earth as the garbage bin of ideas, or that God Just Wants to Watch the World Burn
@@cam4636 A combination of both.
@@cam4636 everything is just god's fanfiction
be happy, had a simliar tag and after that some cleaninglady in hell lost my backpack.
"Well I wasn't wrong." ~ God, probably
"The smell of rotting hay"
So like Phosgene! I sure do love it when my margarita smells like a WWI chemical weapon.
Isn't the Phosgene in rotten hay also extremely combustible?
@@RiveroftheWither very combustible
*Looks at currently burning hay pile*
Makes me think of when I did a rum tasting/class (mandatory for my job at the time). I have what is suspected to be a minor allergy to liquor, and took tiny sips of each rum before pouring the rest of the sample into a cup if my coworkers didn't want it. After pouring several different types of rum into one cup, the only smell was "bananas". Coworkers were taking bets on who would drink it until one of them did lmao
@@theunlikelyhero123meh3 *smiles in pyromaniac*
It's a great sign when your drink smells like a war crime, clearly
“Smell of rotting hay”
That immediately sent up red flags because even though I know better that’s the smell of phosgene gas.
I’ve survived an accidental exposure (my old geo metro dumped all its coolant and the fumes off it hitting the engine filled the cabin) but it was super unpleasant. My lungs were fucked for a couple months.
Good lord, I can only imagine how awful that was. I'm glad you survived that
spent parts of my childhood cleaning out pig pens, the smell of the rotting hay mixed in with pig muck stays forever in my mind
I think reaching into the receipt jar of horror would be a fun (for us) way to end an episode. And you wouldn't have to do so many back-to-back
This is a perfect idea.
Slick idea
Sorry for suggesting this man, but the "Submit your awful drinks" thing needs to be an episode.
I'd honestly rather him stick to things people actually drink since there's at least *a chance* it will be good. This is supposed to be a show about drinks, not Fear Factor. The receipt system at least guarantees it's something people paid for and presumably consumed. I'm not sure how you could do that with viewer submissions.
@@strifera agreed and people would troll and make disgusting drinks only
Or awful drink challenge. Get a terrible drink order and see if you can work it into something good
‘Cursed Cocktails’
@@Adrian-qr6gk Manhattan, replace whiskey with Jeppson's Malort.
"bullet rye old fashion"
oh, that's not too crazy, at least not the-
"with an egg white"
*excuse me?*
YOU HEARD THE MAN
It does make me curious about what an "Old Fashioned Sour" would taste like. Though i can imainge it wouldnt be too populat to those who are fans of Old Fashion's nor Sours. At least you got the name of an interesting indie band on your hands.
Maybe the person actually wanted a yokeless omlett next to their drink...
tbh it kinda sounds like a hangover cure type thing, eggwhite to get something in your system, alcohol to take the buzz off, and it's bad enough in your mouth to remove some of the nausea.
@@spycrab421 It is a version of an old fashioned "Flip" the egg white should be beaten a bit before added to the drink, it adds a silky mouth feel and a little volume to the drink. Granted, I do not think it is usual to do to an old fashioned, but the concept is sound.
As soon as you said "pineapple old fashioned" my entire body went into fight or flight and I just stared in helpless horror as you not only made the abomination but then willingly drank it. Get some rest man I hope you're okay 😂
To quote the worst character in Mallrats:
“The customer is always an asshole.”
"This job would be great without the customers."
"Which ones?"
"All of them."
I feel like I just watched this man - in real time - discover the dark side of organic chemistry, and maybe even catch a hint of why fume hoods are a thing.
Okay, so I had to know. I had to experience what I have only referenced as "The Cocktail Out Of Space" since seeing this. The pineapple Malibu old fashioned. It is a disconcertingly incorrect-tasting drink. It does give the impression of "this should not be in my body" in a way that no other drink ever has. The only way I could imagine I would make this worse is if I were to drop in a few capers. I had to rinse my mouth out with Mr. Black because it was all I had that would kill the taste.
My brother invented a worse drink in college: the "Dirty Cow"... 1/2 whole milk, 1/2 light beer.
that'd be bilk
@@shadowman484 no that’s uhhhhh
Horse jizz
Yeah.
I’m sure that’s called horse J!%%
This series is a great idea. Taking drink orders is always a balance, but I always tell customers that drinks with substitutions are final, no complaints or refunds
I came up with this to see if it would be worse than the pineapple rum old fashioned. I’d like to get your opinion.
Keep in mind this is purposefully meant to be weird.
Drambuie, amaretto, bitters, and a splash of cherry juice. Garnish with a grape
@@dr.floridamanphd Oh god it’d be SO sweet
@@Goliath5100 as someone who will literally drink Peach Tree with Simple Syrup and mixed with a Capri Sun, banapple is the new favourite but usually berry fruits or orange and peach..maybe I should try that drink 😁😅
I had one once, called the "pigeonhouse doomsday arbiter", it contained every hard alcohol in the bar, with an optional red or blue finish. It left me in a world of hurt...🤢
"I challenge you to make a worse drink"
I present to you the Jim Crow Monster
1 part Jim Beam
1 part Old Crow
1 part Monster
Smells and tastes like straight vomit.
...who hurt you
Did you come up with the name first and then the drink? Because if not, excellent work on making a drink that sounds terrible just from the name alone.
That drinks just sounds like you're waiting for the sweet, icy embrace of death.
Are you okay?
This thing, I cannot honestly call it a cocktail, it's like the exact opposite of a magnum opus, it showcases a stupendous amount of brilliance but not on the direction I'd want the person at the bar to go on
@@agustinvenegas5238
It sounds like someone at the bar who sees a particular patron, actively sizes that individual up and in his mind, this bartender goes " I'm going to do everything in my power to make this person want to end my suffering."
It's like suicide by cop but for bartenders, I would think.
Or. Or, he just likes to fuck with people and go " here, drink this", just to watch the world burn.
So fun fact: I actually have had a midori margarita at a bar in my hometown. They actually subbed out the tequila rather than the triple sec and was pretty good, if very sweet, so my guess is it would probably wasnt designed to be mixed with tequila XD
yeah thats what i was thinking, if you subed the tequila out itd be a rather decent drink. I wouldnt order it, but i could see where itd be good
I was thinking about that as well. I really thought that drink was going to be okay because "tequila plus melon" sounds like it'd be okay.
The tequila was a red flag to me too, I made a salted melon with lime energy drink and it was bussin
I was surprised he thought a midori margarita was odd-I know I definitely drank my weight in them in my 20s.
Lol if there's no tequila in the damn drink, why are we still calling it a margarita??
Fun fact: the “customer is always right” quote was supposed to only apply to clothes shopping
It's not even the complete quote, it goes "the customer is always right, in terms of taste."
@@spinningindaffodils
Which does apply here
I was so hoping for a Lovecraft reference after "unspeakable" and "crawling madness" came up on the description for the Malibuish Pineapple Old Fashioned and was not disappointed. Maybe they drank some water from a well with a mysteriously glowing space rock and this cocktail was the closest they could get to recalling that flavor lol
A mysterious drink unlike any drank on Earth, from an order unlike any seen on Earth.
I beg you for captions - the auto-generated ones are largely nonsense - and I can really only understand about 40% of what he's actually saying. I know it's a lot of work, but it really means the world to people like me who need closed captioning.
When the video comes out they're automated but a few days later they're retouched. I recommend watching a while after it's open to the public! It's good now.
"Customer is allergic to American vodka." Having to keep a straight face when people say things like that is why I can never go back to the service industry.
Yeah I'm on retail side of the liquor service industry. The requests are similar over here.
There was a brief period when customers asked me for gluten free spirits... That killed a part of my soul
Once a customer said this to me: "I'm allergic to prosseco Champagne is fine."
@@snefansson Even though gluten does not survive the distilling process, I guess some of my customers still have reactions to stuff. There must be just enough left over of something. Dunno about the science of it though.
At some point you get numb to the stupidity
We had this drink called "Purple", was just equal parts Petrikov grapefruit vodka and blue curacao with a splash of the cheapest peach iced tea you could find. The taste made your mouth crumple up like you just ate a spoonful of salt
I wonder if these drinks started off as, "mixology thought experiments"; the individual never actually made the drink, but thought to themselves, "hey, I have made plenty of cocktails, and I "know" what every element in those drinks do, so what if I did x". They just know that what they have thought up is the next big thing, even if they have no idea what they are doing. Then they are at their favorite drinking establishment, and they think, "hey this is the perfect time to try out my thought experiment, everyone will be amazed by my genius". And the bartender is looking at the request, and thinking, "what an effing tool".
Im betting most of these are the results of lost bets.
Maybe the customers didnt even expected it to be very good but were just curious OR it wasnt even supposed to be good because they planned to hand the drink to someone else for shits and giggles.
@@derPetunientopf I could imagine "Which of us can make the vilest shit imaginable, just by changing one ingredient?" being a common bet.
more likely just people who don't drink that often trying to throw together what they know with what they have heard of or think is normal. Like they drink malibu and know old fashions are trendy again.
haha I know I've confused a couple bartenders when I asked for a modified Irish Breakfast. A pint of Guinness with a shot of Jameson and Maple Syrup goes great with a Monte Christo or Corned Beef Hash. One guy came round to the table and said "Congratulations. That's strange but good."
I love how every time he takes a sip we get another gothic hateful description of how atrocious whatever concoction he just made is
“The drink of the beast” and Gregg’s decent into madness had me rolling. Thank you for torturing yourself for our entertainment. Hopefully the next episode treats you better.
And please do it again 😂
I am literally cry laughing. Gregg, I’m sorry none of these worked out and this became a cursed cocktails. But the descriptions of the last two were something to behold.
_Crawling Madness_
Your description of the pineapple Malibu old fashioned nearly killed me. My face hurts from laughing so hard. That was wonderful.
"A non-diseased soul could not have come up with..." is now a permanent part of my lexicon. lol
It is right up there with "YOU are proof Darwin was wrong! NO way any monkey carrying ANY of your genes would get another monkey to fuck it!"
We had a "Midori Margarita" on the menu back in 2013 and I've definitely ordered it again since - it was a great drink, but I cannot for the life of me remember/find the spec! I think it lowered the lime juice and added in some pamplemousse (pink grapefruit) liqueur along with the Midori... I know it wasn't a straight swap... I guess it was a kind of Hemingway Daiquiri/Midori Margarita crossover?!
The midori margarita sounds the most palatable. I can't imagine it's as bad as the guy made it seem. He more/less made a midori sour (which aren't great drinks, but popular nonetheless) with tequila.
INGREDIENTS
1 1⁄2 ounces tequila
1⁄2 ounce triple sec
1 ounce fresh lime juice
1⁄2 ounce Midori melon liqueur
Melon margarita is actually a drink (not a classic but Midori has a official recipe):
1.5 oz Tequila
1 oz Midori
1 oz lemon juice/Sweet & sour lemon juice
I recently bought a copy of "The New American Bartender's Guide - Second Edition by John J. Poister" from my local thrift store. It has a Midori Margarita recipe! It's in the "House Specialties" chapter of the book, which mentions specialty cocktails from bars around the world. I haven't made it myself, but here's what the book says about it:
__Midori Margarita__
* 1oz Tequila
* 1oz Midori
* 1oz Sweet and sour mix
* Watermelon ball
* Canteloupe ball
Mix all ingredients, except melon balls, with cracked ice in a shaker or blender. Pour into a chilled cocktail glass, the rim of which has been moistened with lemon juice and rolled in salt. Garnish with melon balls skewered on toothpicks.
From the *Mansion on Turtle Creek, Dallas*.
I've never heard of a Midori Margarita, but Midori Piña Coladas are great!
When I was in college (circa 2011) I made a drink at a party that I called "superwine" which was just the trashiest attempt at sangria possible. I think it was franzia box wine, plus some sort of rum (possibly Malibu), topped off with a splash of flavored water. When you're already quite drunk, it really hits the spot. As a thirtysomething I'm extremely curious how awful it would be if I tried to recreate it today.
Did you do it ?
@@lazywargaming6752 Wondering the same here. An answer is needed.
I do not blame you for not wanting to recreate this creation...but I am curious my friend.
Did you do it OP??
Please do this again, the pineapple malibu old fashioned had me crying.
I feel like you could make a truly cursed drink by just combining all of the really aggressive flavors in the bar in proportions that are way too big. Campari, Midori, absinthe, Malibu, Chartreuse, cranberry juice, olive brine. All of which are capable of completely overwhelming a drink by themselves. Throw them all together and find out which one is the most powerful.
Fun if you want to see Greg spontaneously combust on camera
"Bottle Royale"
Fuck it, absinthe old fashioned :)
@@radioCPoche call it a death at any hour, like death in the afternoon but more potent
"The Mouth Fuck" or "The Tongue Rot"
"The customer at table 23 is WROOOOONG and this drink is bad and is also unattractive and just terrible" (Greg immediately takes another sip)
That’s how my shitty homemade cocktails always are 😆
I guess people really don’t wanna waste alcohol.
Worst old Fashioned and worst eggnog ever.
"This tastes like drinking disappointment."
"That's why I ordered this drink for my son."
Perhaps for the old fashioned with egg white you could shake the egg white beforehand and then stir it into the old fashioned to keep with the traditional stirring method?
"I've never made a midori margarita..."
But, wait, wasn't the DEWgarita basically a midori margarita, just with some added mtn dew?
Okay, so I’m not the only one who remembered that.
MiDEWri margarita
I almost choked on my breakfast when he went “nooooo they’re not” to the Midori margarita in the high pitched voice it was great.
I need you to see this because I just tried to make a worse one.
1 Oz of Baileys, 1 Oz of jaeger cold brew(fresh out of the freezer where it belongs) half a shot of lime juice, and 2 Oz of Jose cuervo grand Marnier margarita mix, shake with no crushed ice.
I can't explain how something can be so sweet, tart, creamy and bitter at the same time, with the aftertaste of the exact same burps you had as a kid after throwing up at 3AM on a Thursday morning while you go to tell your mom "I frowed up"
I name it Jesus, because that's the first thing out of your mouth after tasting it
That sounds nasty
good Lord that sounds terrible lmao
Keeping Jaeger in the freezer where it belongs, is the reason their is still a half empty bottle of Jaeger in this household. It was opened once and the only person who drank it refuses to touch it again and no one else in the house drinks it so we are now haunted by the choices of that Halloween night
You misspelled "trash" as "freezer"
@@ashrowan2143 also, you are probably not in a frat listening to ffdp anymore?
I once went to a bar in central London and they had a "New Old Fasioned" on the menu, it was so weird I had to order it and took a picture of the menu. The recipe is: "Maker's Mark bourbon mixed with banana liqueur, butterscotch and orange bitters."
It was baaaaad
Ugh that sounds repulsive
That has to be some sick joke
"Go into your bar and invent a worse drink"
Can I use Malört? Cause I'll be back very soon.
That’s cheating.
Baileys and Tomato Juice. We called it the 'Bloody Awful'
@@daviddalby6217 oh dear
I want him to do Malört cocktails... some Do exist...
Chicago Mule:
Moscow Mule, but sub Vodka with Malört
@@DaDragon555 it was....bad. Congealed creamey things in tomato juice. Still gives me nightmaresz
"Tastes like your body rejecting it because it's made of actual poison... it tastes like that!"
Jesus, don't hold back man, tell us how you feel.
17:50 You know your drink is weird when a bartender not only describes you as the Antichrist and Attila, but also compares the drink to a Lovecraft novel.
Lovecraftian inspired drinks would be fun as hell though
Your accompanying descriptive text is wonderful and ironically, "Unspeakable Crawling Madness" is absolutely a drink I would consider ordering.
"this drink makes me want to quit the show..." Man that is bad! This needs to be a series! So many laughs in this one. Great job brother.
The 'this person is the antichrist' monologue had me incoherent with laughter. That was fantastic.
My favorite part is when you espouse how terrible a cocktail is and then go back for another gulp. This better become a series.
Can I recommend James Hoffman's videos on various coffee soft drinks? Choc full of "oh that's terrible. Just awful. *siiiip*"
"An undiseased soul could not have conceived of this drink!"
*slurp*
@@seanthebluesheep James Hoffmann has unfortunately quit subjecting himself to coffee flavored drinks. Or at least he says he has.
In my uni days I came up with a drink called "the death grip". If you want to try it it's basically whiskey (blended, don't waste your single malt on this) and red aftershock liqueur. It's not meant to taste nice, it's meant to take your breath away. I quite like the taste though
Ah yes, the four horsemen of the apocalypse: snapless, woof, three octaves bad, and shit.
Fun story - I had a bartender make your "Brooklyn Tai" recipe recently. The bartender was happy to oblige but said to me "I would never put that in my mouth." Well - I poured some samples into cups (because of covid) and shared them with my friends. They were blown away, all ordered one. Then the party next to us got curious and tried one as well. Soon enough a good chunk of the bar was drinking them!
Damn you. As a bartender, damn you.
I have no idea what a 'Brooklyn Tai' would be. But King Ghost reaction makes me painfully curious.
sounds suspiciously like somethin that didnt happen
@@anamcnamara9 I guess the "damn you" was for the fact that he made the whole bar order a cocktail that wasnt on the menu nor did the bartender really know how to make one properly.
@@Ex0rz ah, ok. That's fair.
These "Customer requests" aka "The Drink of the Beast" needs to be a recurring segment.
In complete disregard for Greg's life, please make more of these.
"I hate this! It is revolting!"
"More?"
"Please."
Here you are, Data. Be careful with that emotion chip.
I prefer prune juice. It’s a warriors drink.
I scrolled down specifically hoping to find these exact lines.
Well played...
I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Watching Greg's slow descent into madness was a joy.
Please do another episode!!
This man has been around more rotting, putrid, or decaying scents in this episode, than I have in my entire life. What, does he _seek_ that kind of scent out, just so he has a frame of reference?
You've never smelled anything rotten before?
@@mr.moonthegoon4178 Compost, that's about it. Definitely not the wide range of experiences he's apparently had ;)
I work at a hospital, which is usually enough... but I also like taxidermy and did a year of volunteering at coroner's office. It's not that hard to find, tbh XD
I was surprised and confused when you pulled "Midori Margarita" because I love to add Midori to my margaritas lol. Granted, its the Jose Cuervo premade ones from Walmart, but it is so good. Maybe its not meant for a legit margarita like you made. The premade stuff is a lot sweeter than what you made.
Greg, on the Midori Margarita: "It's green!"
Both Data and Scotty: nodding in agreement.
I really like this format alot. Could even have a next step of trying to "fix" some of them just to see if its possible to make something drinkable out of those orders
This needs to be higher up. It's a great idea!
Agreed
“Maybe the customer was onto something!”
*Narrator: The customer was not onto something*
I heard Morgan freeman in my head when I read this
I would love to see you try to come up with a version of these orders that will work! See how you would fix the cocktail! You could turn it into a series “Purifying cursed cocktails” or do it in your “chaser” series !
"I didn't know that flavor was possible via known organic compounds."
I love how this guy keeps drinking cocktails he clearly immediately thinks are disgusting
What I'm amazed by, is that this guy often goes for a second sip! Why would you do this to yourself?
Gotta make sure he can convey to us the *full* experience of horror.
@@karotconcarne3325 It might confirm Greg is a masochist
This reminds me far too much of InRangeTV's taste test of Salmiakki. "I'm picking up notes of dirt, no mud not dirt. Rotten fruit, and the faintest glimmer of hope under layers of rotten leaves."
Salmiakki is good ;) In both candy and liquor form.
@@SuperSeytan666 Agreed.
And with the GaJol vodka mixes there are SO many variants to try - it's great.
And then you have all the other brands :)
I would imagine the Midori Margarita would be Triple, and Mid, instead of Tequila, and Mid. thatway it would be like a fruit salad, or a mouthful of skittles
The Midori Margarita is really interesting to me that it turned out that poorly. I pretty regularly get a frozen margarita with a float of Midori, and it's honestly great. Although it's starting from a base of a frozen margarita, so it doesn't take a lot to get better from there, lol
Maybe the Midori margarita was supposed to be just that - adding a little midori instead of making it a major ingredient
@@dirk_gently that was what I was thinking. Midori is a flavor you can definitely have to much of
@@dirk_gently Just for fun I did some googling. From what I saw most recipes do what Greg did but a few just replaced 1/2 an ounce of the triple sec with Midori. That might be better.
Agreed, this is basically the classic Hand Grenade from Tropical Isle on Bourbon street.
I'm surprised he's never heard of one. Honestly, right spec? Not bad.
Wow, you actually ended in the Lovecraftian spectrum of the drinks. Things only the unspeakable horrors of beyond the aeons can even tolerate. Damn, Greg. We salute you, trooper. You took them for the audience.
Hey Greg -- This feels like the perfect format for TH-cam's new fangled "Chapters" feature; have you considered messing around with that at all?
Yeah We've been using them on a lot of the multi-drink episodes lately, we'll get them programmed into this one shortly I think.
@@howtodrink Awesome! Thanks for the response
Absolutely love this and I need more episodes of this. Got me thinking of the drink I made the first and only time I ever got blackout drunk, it was so gross it was Dragonfruit Bacardi, Chardonnay and pineapple juice, me and my friend called it "the Hurt Me".
omg I forgot about my obsession with dragonfruit bacardi in college 🤣 but I think I just mixed it with sprite
I once invented something called an "Irish Pirate," which was Bacardi and Baileys stirred over ice. It was nasty, so I added milk to tone down the booze, which made it worse. I keep meaning to revisit the idea and see if it's actually workable
I’ve tried to do this same thing earlier when I ran out of mixers for my Bacardi and like, idk man, not sure it’s possible.
I don't know how I feel about this. On the one hand, Greg has opened Pandora's Box and challenged us to torture him with horrible drinks and that is going to be so incredibly amusing. On the other, I feel as though I've been challenged and now I want to go and invent a truly horrifying drinking experience.
Perhaps the Midori Margarita could be made in last word specs with dry Curaçao?
0.75 oz. Each of Blanco Tequila, Midori, Dry Curaçao, lime Juice? Or maybe more close to a 20th Century spec and 1.5 oz. Tequila and the rest the same except maybe drop the midori to 0.5
Or it could be interpreted as Midori being the main liquor which would just make this a Japanese Slipper.
For the Malibu Old Fashioned you could interpret that as a regular old fashioned but using the liqueur as the sweetener, not great but probably better. If you want to go extra hard I'd make it a rum old fashioned with a half oz pour if the Malibu and do Orange bitters.
The first drink could be a flip if you just added the egg yolk as well which wouldn't be too bad with some finessing
What if it was midori instead of tequila in Gregs recipie? melon, orange and lime could be good, like a fruit salad.
@@jmiz69420 I said that later in my comment.
Try a Japanese Slipper, its literally what you described
The Malibu part kills the Malibu old fashioned. There's good pineapple rum, and it's hard to go wrong adding a dash of bitters and sugar to a good spirit. Use the Plantation pineapple and it might be great.
Given the tasting notes for the Malibu horror drink, I think we can safely say that either Greg found Cthulhu's favorite drink or that the Elder One himself ordered it in disguise.
As a bartender, I hear Midori Margarita, and I assume they want Midori instead of tequila. You request that, you don't want booze, you want all the sweet.
I’m not a bartender, but I’m wondering why on earth he decided that what the customer wanted was to mix Midori and lime. Don’t the fruity margaritas include some different fruit juices to add to the sweet? Or maybe he made that assumption based on asking for a salt rim instead of sugar, but that was certainly coming from the tradition of eating melon with a shake of salt to cut the sweet.
@@matthewwilliams2093 depends, when I think of a fancy margarita, I tend to think of fresh squeezed lime and a really high quality tequila. But they can have all kinds of additions. From fruit juices, to fruit puree, smoke, complicated garnishes ect... But the base of a margarita is really simple.
I've made the drink plenty times, its quite good. However, I don't dump 1 to 2 ounces of Midori in it. A marg is simply orange flavored Tequila, which to me is gross in its default state. The midori adds a melon taste that kills the harshness of the tequila and makes it more tropical. Whenever I make it either for strangers or friends, they like it. Again, I'm not dumping a truck load of melon liqueur in there.
"Can't make a worse drink" I accept thine challenge.
I call it the "Long Island No More"
Make it with correct portions to a Long Island Iced Tea but with this concoction:
Crystal Head Vodka, Ocho Plata (or Don Julio as requested), Captain Morgan Black, Hendricks Gin, Substitute Triple Sec with Cognac. Sub Cola with Dr. Pepper. Add few drops of vanilla extract. Use regular amount of sour mix. Pour over Ice. Garnish with a tangerine peel or orange peel instead of a lemon.
The ocean left this Island
Oh god
That's horrid
17:11 "Go into your bar and invent a worse drink": I once mixed a medium sherry with a coffee and cream liqueur (Sheridans) sour and acidic with sweet and creamy. it looked and felt like sand I can't recall what else I put in there but it was incredibly cursed in terms of taste and consistency. There was possibly some Whisky or Rum in there, too. And I think to "try and save it" I added banana liqueur which did quite the contrary
Citric acid will curdle milk and cream. Not sure if that applies to cream liqueur too
@@will2316 i think it does since mixing something like lime juice with bailey's makes it curdle
"I added bananas to my acidic cream coffee to improve it"
YOU FUCKING WHAT MATE
Came across this randomly. I'm not a drinker, but you are funny as hell and will definitely watch more of this!
"Thank you, Hands of Mystery. I don't wanna make this drink..."😑 big bartender mood
Edit: watching Greg lose his mind over the Malibu Old Fashioned at 9 am has really brightened my day 💛
I think, in this vid, they should have been called "the hands of misery"
Theory: The Malibu Pineapple Old Fashioned was actually a Stiggins Old Fashioned, and the bar didn’t have a button in their POS for Stiggins.
Hmm. Interesting
I prefer the idea that a Great Old One crawls amongst us, but amuses itself by indulging in the horrors that can be made from human ingenuity twisted into the unspeakable.
@@VictoryNibbles I too would love to serve nyarlthotep a malibu pineapple old fashioned
GOOd theory, I hope for all of humanity you are right
Not having a button explains everyone of these. An accredited bartender knows hundreds of drinks. A POS has 15 buttons.
My college years: Frozen pink lemonade concentrate mixed with plastic-bottle vodka instead of water. I wish I could say it was as terrible as it should have been but it sort of tasted like red grapefruit juice with a bit of an alcohol burn.
I also heard of something called a "green weasel" that allegedly involved lime Jello and Everclear but I never encountered it in real life. The Nineties were weird in their own way.
We do this with gatorade powder and call it Riot Punch. It tastes just like regular gatorade, stuff is dangerous lol
I did that too but we added a case of natty light
Yeah, lots of mish mash drinks that are too alcoholic and too sweet. Sounds like they got the hard stuff and forgot about mixers and went looking into the cupboards to find what they can.
We used to fill a gallon jug halfway with water, the rest with plastic bottled vodka, and empty a few single serve crystal lights. Called it “Bork.” Tastes like juice
There’s a kid at my university who mixes drinks at one of the frats - it’s safer than it sounds - and he *hates* the taste of alcohol. He’ll mix like vodka with orange soda and coke and it’ll be the most alcoholic thing you’ve ever had but taste just like soda. It’s dangerous.
If I remember college correctly, cold green tea that's incredibly oversteeped (like left out with the bag in the mug for hours) will cleanse even the worst most putrid alcohol taste from your palate. Could be helpful when the 'worst possible drink' episode happens.
I imagine for these types of episodes, especially when he uses expensive liquors for these awful drinks, he has a trap door that he pours them into. Y'know, there's like an alcoholic hobgoblin in this little bunker that keeps all that alcohol from going to waste. But it all just gets mixed up into one big glass.
I am pretty certain the cocktail of the damned would have killed it. And possibly reanimated as some sort of shambling abomination.
As someone who works customer service, yes, the customer is always wrong, usually because they don't ever bother to read what they agree to.
Greg: I defy you to make a worse drink...you cannot."
Me: "Oh no. What have you done?"
*The beast has awoken*
*The end is nigh*
From the sound of it, if reality does not peel and shriek to escape the glass, any attempt may well fail to rise to the challenge.
As somebody who went to uni in the uk and drank many a "dirty pint" which is an unholy concoction of everything people are drinking at a party in a single glass and is drank as a forfeit in some drinking games. Those are the Great Old Ones of bad drinks.
@@stevesmith5883 Not all Great Old Ones are harphazard masses of the remains of what's died - honestly, that sounds more like a demon drink.
Reminds me of when. My brother-in-law drunkenly decided to try and coldbrew coffee but instead of water used vodka...
Then he put a bit of sugar and milk in it and it curdled...
I guess it was the drunken thought of "I'm going to try and make coffee liqueur with no knowledge on how and while mildly intoxicated"
The taste was straight vodka. Not a bit of the coffee came through
We still call it his coffee crime.
I tried Malibu Pineapple Old Fashioned in a bar with my friend and let me tell you his reaction is not an overstatement. My friend said that if there really is a worse drink than that possible, then drinking it will prove whether or not we live in a situation. Because that will definitely wake you out of any Matrix.
Also, yes I would like to see more of these on top of the Cursed Cocktails videos.
When he started quoting Revelations I was laughing so hard I got choked up and actually vomited the quesidilla and beer I just ate.
Would love to see "The customer is always wrong" become a series of videos. Sooner or later your bound to find something reasonably drinkable hahaha
Years ago a friend of mine posted about enjoying a mimosa on social media. A friend of hers mentioned she really liked mimosas with Tampico. That’s like saying you like mimosas with Sunny D. I didn’t know this person so I had no idea if she was joking or not. It’s entirely possible she could be the person that ordered the pineapple Malibu Old-Fashioned.
A sunny D mimosa honestly doesn't sound that bad. Probably a lot more tart.