I’m amazed at her level of self awareness. I have an emotionally abusive mother with zero awareness and zero capacity to take any responsibility. Probably doesn’t have BPD but strong narcissistic personality.
I was in a relationship with a BPD woman about 25 years ago, listening to Charlotte reminds me so much of that tumultuous year with Melinda. I’m a co-dependent type and was clueless about what was going on. After everything we’d been through Melinda died in a tragic car accident after rolling into the icy Snake River in Idaho and drowned, on Valentine’s Day 1998. Be careful ❤
Codependency does not exists. There is no definition for it, it does not exists in any real literature. Its a invention of self help gurus. Its a shame that people label themselves as such's, as it does not help solve your issues at all.
So pleased to see Charlotte again. Honestly; I can't find a more authentic person to relate to, it gives me a lot of strength to hear her experiences and know that i'm not defective or broken or incompatible with the world. It's nice to know that i'm not alone, sometimes you feel that way when your bad stories are sometimes so wild - I used to often think to myself, like all the time, 'well other people don't seem to have these types of stories in their lives'. Keep with it Charlotte, without hearing what you've said in these interviews I think i'd still hate myself. I truly don't now, i've got baggage (like everyone) and my baggage is very large and dramatic, not bigger or smaller than anyone elses. I'm defo doing well in keeping it, erm... less dramatic in the recent months :P
stockholm syndrome 😢 i resonate with continuing to go back. i’m thankful i cut all lines of communication after the second go. i wish i stayed away after the first time. i now have Post Traumatic Stress on top of the BPD.
This clip frightens me tbh. I’ve self-harmed but never to the level where I lost body functionality. I’d like to think I wouldn’t get to that extreme, but it’s frightening that the capacity for self-harm can be so high even if you’re not trying to end your life. Even though I can’t relate to her specific injury, I can relate to the level of desperation. I appreciate her honesty in talking about their friendship. Still, it confuses me that she can speak so openly about the raw details and yet actively chooses to keep this person in her life. Seems so at odds with her assertions that she wants to heal. Maybe that’s a split, idk. This clip was haunting. Thanks for sharing.
This is heartbreaking to listen to but helps me to understand what may have been going on with my ex and why she behaved the way she did when I split up with her. Best wishes and thanks to Charlotte for her openness and hopefully, she's finding a way to the "life worth living" that we're all searching for.
Fabulous, and long awaited return of the brave ,lovely Charlotte. Thank God Charlotte is in therapy. I will be in love with a woman with Emotional Dis-regulation forever. She was a friend who I tried to help before I knew anything about this very serious disorder. Listening Charlotte has been very helpful to me . Thank you Charlotte and BorderlineNotes . Charlotte pls know our prayers go with you.
as for the bird in the interview. that was the call of a cat bird lol BPD here. Thanks for this channel, I'm trying to learn about myself and this video was enlightening.
As I go through my own healing journey, though I am not Borderline myself, seeing her heal really makes me feel- not hope for myself, but love for everyone. I mean I was a bumbling mess for awhile, long time. Charlotte is so gracious for telling her story, love her to DEATH!
Yay!! A new Charlotte video!! These make my month!!! She inspires me so much as a mental health provider and also someone who has struggled/struggles with mental health. Wow, the power of a story!
I love you both from past videos. But i gotta be honest, while understanding the severity of her injury is important, to the level of detail, trauma and visuals as a result, wasn't something I was prepared for and don't want in my head. That said, ya'll are SO brave doing this. Thank you 😊
Always liked this series because it is interesting! The different therapists, the different interviews, the feedback and the progress, all show me that we can make ourselves better if we only try. Thank you for trying, and thank you for inspiring others to try to be better!
We can make decisions that may have awful consequences. In a split second you can go from relatively healthy to a life-threatening injury requiring multiple surgeries as a result of something so simple as kicking a glass window.
The ex has bpd. Any thing she has inflicted on to the partner is high and intense. Anything coming back is reactive abuse. It comes to a point the partner of the Bpd should be aware that they're not acting then selves and end the relationship.
i have a major stockholm syndrome for my now estranged wife. loved her dearly but her bpd has gotten so much worse. started to physically attack me whenever she wanted in front of our 1 yr old, even after getting arrested for domestic violence. I forcefully separated her from our 1 yr old son. i know im doing the right thing to keep my son but it breaks my heart to know what she might be going thru missing her son etc then i find out she’s still accusing me of infidelity and really believes that i’m in relationship with another person and it’s this big conspiracy to make her go thru all this drama. The relationship just didnt seem like going in the right direction, we havent had honest 1 to 1 adult conversation in a long time. i say 10 word sentence, she’d pick 1,2 words out of it then turn them against me to start a fight out nothing. so after she was arrested, bailed her out , still she’s extremely hateful towards me. it’s been almost 1 month now, my son is a lot more lively and my dogs have gained weight, i’ve been having my full nights sleep, ive become jumpy and spooked by objects that caught in the corner of my eye, me and my son sleep with a light on. She has violated her restraining order by emailing me number of times also attempted to change her visitation days etc but i cant report because i still want her to have a future, get the treatment, be aware of her condition etc. but i know she thinks im the evil and worst human being for leaving her and taking my son etc. i’ve never cried like i did in the past 4 weeks ever in my life. It was like im in my own psychological horror, someone i loved had turned into something scary gradually. then became extremely violent, worst thing is if our son is crying whilst she’s attacking me, she does not notice him…hopefully she’ll get the help she needs and turn her life around without us. and one day realise i did the right thing for our son
I would report the doctor, I had a similar unpleasant experience with a medical doctor myself and finally complained. And yet attitudes circulate that a doctor would never do such a thing, that consequently something could not be right with me and/or why I was so stupid and did not take up the flattering offer.
Listening to Charlotte and others talk about their struggles from a place of distance is one of the most calming things I can listen to. Conversations that follow a healthier dialogue as a premise are very soothing.
I have no right to feel proud of Charlotte because that is all her, but I’m still going to say I’m so freaking proud of her. And she gives me so much hope for myself.
BPD wont change by rebranding it. The issue with the whole "emotion dysregulation disorder" is that the core of BPD is not emotional dysregulation, but identity diffusion.
I understand. (hug) I/we can only offer the information, the invitation and our vulnerability. Mine doesn't believe in it all and thinks it's an excuse bs dx .
@@BethBTC Same same:\🙄 sighhh Mental health? Medications? all BS Psychiatry/ology? Quackery, more BS. I know there's no bending , but ... hope - it's a crazy thing. (˙❥˙)
Have you guys seen Roadrunner, the film about Anthony Bourdain? Personally, I feel women get the "she's toxic" and then the BPD diagnosis more readily and nobody wants to hear that guys have this disorder too. Maybe the hero narrative is just too strong.
I did see that film, thought it was quite good. But I don't remember BPD being mentioned? It would make total sense but I must have missed that part, I remember them talking a bit more about mental health towards the end but nothing about Borderline specifically.
Can I ask about the list of things Charlotte wrote? I find I do the same thing--writing down all of the negative things my spouse says. Why do borderlines do this? It makes my spouse feel like I'm using his words against him. Any advice?
Charlotte has talked about this injury before (and the shards of glass coming out of the window, falling/sliding out, and almost slicing her foot off. I remember this vividly. If you ever hear someone who is being abusive (any kind) to you say, "Who do you think they're going to believe...me...or you?" *That is the time you slowly back away from them until you can run for your life*. Get out. Never look back. Once you are safely the h3ll away from them, then you can finally exhale, get some *serious EMDR* treatments and then try to begin to make sense of what just happened to you. The medical profession is *full to the brim* of narcissists because it is a profession that gets them a lot of admiration (read: narcissistic supply) every hour of every workday, and even in the community during their days off. Any profession, career, or job where someone is the center of attention (politics, pro sports, Hollywood) and any of those that receive a lot of public admiration (law, law enforcement, medicine, architecture, social work, teaching, philanthropic orgs, etc.) will attract all kinds of narcissists.
Dear BPD conquerer, Thank you for all the content. I've just been diagnosed 2 months ago at age 46. I've been in a relationship for the past 2 years but it's caused a lot of damage. While I'm seeking therapy my partner hasn't found anyone who can help. She's not interested in speaking to just any therapist. Are there any groups etc for partners of those who live/ love with BPD? She'd like to speak to fellow companions. Any help/ advice would be really appreciated.
I hope by now, she is NOT dating these types of men anymore. And Shes right, the doctors yes.....who will they believe....me or you? I've found doctors to be.....arrogant jerks. There I've said it......but we know its true.
Crazy how her ex is labeled abusive and she plays victim but doesn’t take full accountability about all her wrong doings. I’m sure he did bad things but one would be inclined to believe she deserved it for the plethora or wicked things she’s done and said. If you want to highlight BPD make sure to do it without labeling the people who were actual victims of the diagnosed individual as toxic, abusive, narcissistic and etc otherwise you’ll void the empathy you’re looking to get.
She did take ownership and didn't blame her ex for her self-inflicted injury. She admitted to being vicious. If you've seen any other videos of Charlotte on this channel, you would witness how unrelentingly hard on herself she is. You would see the profound shame that she carries, which is so characteristic of someone with bpd
I was married (technically still am) to a woman on the BPD/HPD spectrum for 17 years… Up until Sept 2022. Can’t ever be 💯, but I’ve experienced this before many times. Dishonesty in the form of extreme exageration is super common. Pity is the easiest for of external validation to obtain. This dishonesty can also be based in the extremely hyper-sensitive way that she perceives the world around her. It makes for a heavily distorded memory even sometimes completely disconnected from reality. Either way it becomes increasingly common as the belief and validation continues to comes in… which is especially easy to obtain when a woman claims to be a victim of conjugal violence. 🫤 The person suffering from BPD/HPD comes to believe it themselves even. It’s a nightmare.
Charlotte's ability to share her story in such an authentic way will help save many lives. I'm so thankful for her.
You are absolutely right.
♥
I’m amazed at her level of self awareness. I have an emotionally abusive mother with zero awareness and zero capacity to take any responsibility. Probably doesn’t have BPD but strong narcissistic personality.
I was in a relationship with a BPD woman about 25 years ago, listening to Charlotte reminds me so much of that tumultuous year with Melinda. I’m a co-dependent type and was clueless about what was going on. After everything we’d been through Melinda died in a tragic car accident after rolling into the icy Snake River in Idaho and drowned, on Valentine’s Day 1998. Be careful ❤
Codependency does not exists. There is no definition for it, it does not exists in any real literature. Its a invention of self help gurus.
Its a shame that people label themselves as such's, as it does not help solve your issues at all.
So pleased to see Charlotte again. Honestly; I can't find a more authentic person to relate to, it gives me a lot of strength to hear her experiences and know that i'm not defective or broken or incompatible with the world. It's nice to know that i'm not alone, sometimes you feel that way when your bad stories are sometimes so wild - I used to often think to myself, like all the time, 'well other people don't seem to have these types of stories in their lives'. Keep with it Charlotte, without hearing what you've said in these interviews I think i'd still hate myself. I truly don't now, i've got baggage (like everyone) and my baggage is very large and dramatic, not bigger or smaller than anyone elses. I'm defo doing well in keeping it, erm... less dramatic in the recent months :P
stockholm syndrome 😢 i resonate with continuing to go back. i’m thankful i cut all lines of communication after the second go. i wish i stayed away after the first time. i now have Post Traumatic Stress on top of the BPD.
This clip frightens me tbh. I’ve self-harmed but never to the level where I lost body functionality. I’d like to think I wouldn’t get to that extreme, but it’s frightening that the capacity for self-harm can be so high even if you’re not trying to end your life. Even though I can’t relate to her specific injury, I can relate to the level of desperation.
I appreciate her honesty in talking about their friendship. Still, it confuses me that she can speak so openly about the raw details and yet actively chooses to keep this person in her life. Seems so at odds with her assertions that she wants to heal. Maybe that’s a split, idk. This clip was haunting. Thanks for sharing.
Charlotte is back!
We love you Charlotte
This is heartbreaking to listen to but helps me to understand what may have been going on with my ex and why she behaved the way she did when I split up with her.
Best wishes and thanks to Charlotte for her openness and hopefully, she's finding a way to the "life worth living" that we're all searching for.
Fabulous, and long awaited return of the brave ,lovely Charlotte. Thank God Charlotte is in therapy. I will be in love with a woman with Emotional Dis-regulation forever. She was a friend who I tried to help before I knew anything about this very serious disorder. Listening Charlotte has been very helpful to me . Thank you Charlotte and BorderlineNotes . Charlotte pls know our prayers go with you.
as for the bird in the interview. that was the call of a cat bird lol
BPD here. Thanks for this channel, I'm trying to learn about myself and this video was enlightening.
♥
She's back 💖
As I go through my own healing journey, though I am not Borderline myself, seeing her heal really makes me feel- not hope for myself, but love for everyone. I mean I was a bumbling mess for awhile, long time. Charlotte is so gracious for telling her story, love her to DEATH!
I am toxic too. Thank you, Charolotte, for that accountability. That is a quality to love.
Yay!! A new Charlotte video!! These make my month!!! She inspires me so much as a mental health provider and also someone who has struggled/struggles with mental health. Wow, the power of a story!
It's amazing that you survived that. I'm so glad you did, I hope that's not too selfish to say.
She’s back!!!!!! Thank you so much
I love you both from past videos. But i gotta be honest, while understanding the severity of her injury is important, to the level of detail, trauma and visuals as a result, wasn't something I was prepared for and don't want in my head.
That said, ya'll are SO brave doing this. Thank you 😊
Always looking forward to hearing from her. She's so real, so raw! I don't have BPD but I find it so educational to hear from her.
Always liked this series because it is interesting! The different therapists, the different interviews, the feedback and the progress, all show me that we can make ourselves better if we only try. Thank you for trying, and thank you for inspiring others to try to be better!
Thankful for all Charlotte's interviews. I wish I had known about Borderline years ago. Thank you for all you do here 🙏
Thanks for your honesty and the big wake up call... You are very endearing and have a very beautiful smile, I hope you know your wonderful worth.. 💖
I'm glad to hear again your voices, listening to your stories, living the depth of your stories. Excellent work, as always 😉
She's a warrior
Thank you for your authentic self, and sharing your journey. From these past few minutes, it is obvious to everyone how exceptional you've Become.
Charlotte, thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. You are so brave to share some of your worse moments to help others understand bpd.
We can make decisions that may have awful consequences. In a split second you can go from relatively healthy to a life-threatening injury requiring multiple surgeries as a result of something so simple as kicking a glass window.
The ex has bpd. Any thing she has inflicted on to the partner is high and intense. Anything coming back is reactive abuse. It comes to a point the partner of the Bpd should be aware that they're not acting then selves and end the relationship.
Currently experiencing this now. I have bpd and my boyfriend reacts bad
Charlotte, listening you makes me cry. I relate to so much of your story. You're so brave and resilient. Thank you so much for sharing with the world.
i have a major stockholm syndrome for my now estranged wife. loved her dearly but her bpd has gotten so much worse. started to physically attack me whenever she wanted in front of our 1 yr old, even after getting arrested for domestic violence. I forcefully separated her from our 1 yr old son. i know im doing the right thing to keep my son but it breaks my heart to know what she might be going thru missing her son etc then i find out she’s still accusing me of infidelity and really believes that i’m in relationship with another person and it’s this big conspiracy to make her go thru all this drama. The relationship just didnt seem like going in the right direction, we havent had honest 1 to 1 adult conversation in a long time. i say 10 word sentence, she’d pick 1,2 words out of it then turn them against me to start a fight out nothing. so after she was arrested, bailed her out , still she’s extremely hateful towards me. it’s been almost 1 month now, my son is a lot more lively and my dogs have gained weight, i’ve been having my full nights sleep, ive become jumpy and spooked by objects that caught in the corner of my eye, me and my son sleep with a light on. She has violated her restraining order by emailing me number of times also attempted to change her visitation days etc but i cant report because i still want her to have a future, get the treatment, be aware of her condition etc. but i know she thinks im the evil and worst human being for leaving her and taking my son etc. i’ve never cried like i did in the past 4 weeks ever in my life. It was like im in my own psychological horror, someone i loved had turned into something scary gradually. then became extremely violent, worst thing is if our son is crying whilst she’s attacking me, she does not notice him…hopefully she’ll get the help she needs and turn her life around without us. and one day realise i did the right thing for our son
I would report the doctor, I had a similar unpleasant experience with a medical doctor myself and finally complained. And yet attitudes circulate that a doctor would never do such a thing, that consequently something could not be right with me and/or why I was so stupid and did not take up the flattering offer.
Listening to Charlotte and others talk about their struggles from a place of distance is one of the most calming things I can listen to. Conversations that follow a healthier dialogue as a premise are very soothing.
Is that a sculpture of a knife to Charlotte’s left?
I have no right to feel proud of Charlotte because that is all her, but I’m still going to say I’m so freaking proud of her. And she gives me so much hope for myself.
As Marsha Linehan has often stated, shame is an emotion experienced by many individuals diagnosed with emotion dysregulation disorder.
BPD wont change by rebranding it. The issue with the whole "emotion dysregulation disorder" is that the core of BPD is not emotional dysregulation, but identity diffusion.
@@Nobody-Nowhere exactly
I went through a phone once and broke it, I was so angry
What does that mean
Charlotte ❤❤❤
I wonder if Charlotte continues a friendship with abusive doctor ex.
Much love to you, Charlotte 💕. You are brave.
I don't think my mom believes BPD actually is an issue or at the very least she just doesn't care. Idk.
I understand. (hug) I/we can only offer the information, the invitation and our vulnerability.
Mine doesn't believe in it all and thinks it's an excuse bs dx .
@@yelizaveta1278 Well yeah. My mom basically doesn't believe in mental illness. She is old school and believes I should just walk it off type thing.
@@BethBTC Same same:\🙄 sighhh
Mental health? Medications? all BS Psychiatry/ology? Quackery, more BS.
I know there's no bending , but ... hope - it's a crazy thing. (˙❥˙)
Have you guys seen Roadrunner, the film about Anthony Bourdain? Personally, I feel women get the "she's toxic" and then the BPD diagnosis more readily and nobody wants to hear that guys have this disorder too. Maybe the hero narrative is just too strong.
I did see that film, thought it was quite good. But I don't remember BPD being mentioned? It would make total sense but I must have missed that part, I remember them talking a bit more about mental health towards the end but nothing about Borderline specifically.
Could you make a video on NPD and illness anxiety/OCD? I sometimes feel like NPD feeds OCD. Getting caught in the self analyzing and rumination.
The toxic guy sounds like the classic BPD & NPD Tango... heard those relationships fuck you up
She is such a genuine good person. No bsing
So sick of people who don't understand that Borderline personality disorder is the most painful mental illness that there is 💔💔
I guess there's borderlines who aren't abusive to their children/partners but I've never met any..
Good.
People have little choice but to generally judge people on their behavior, so whatever helps the borderline themselves is key - therapy, etc
Can I ask about the list of things Charlotte wrote? I find I do the same thing--writing down all of the negative things my spouse says. Why do borderlines do this? It makes my spouse feel like I'm using his words against him. Any advice?
Charlotte has talked about this injury before (and the shards of glass coming out of the window, falling/sliding out, and almost slicing her foot off. I remember this vividly.
If you ever hear someone who is being abusive (any kind) to you say, "Who do you think they're going to believe...me...or you?" *That is the time you slowly back away from them until you can run for your life*.
Get out.
Never look back.
Once you are safely the h3ll away from them, then you can finally exhale, get some *serious EMDR* treatments and then try to begin to make sense of what just happened to you.
The medical profession is *full to the brim* of narcissists because it is a profession that gets them a lot of admiration (read: narcissistic supply) every hour of every workday, and even in the community during their days off.
Any profession, career, or job where someone is the center of attention (politics, pro sports, Hollywood) and any of those that receive a lot of public admiration (law, law enforcement, medicine, architecture, social work, teaching, philanthropic orgs, etc.) will attract all kinds of narcissists.
The toxic BF was /is a Doctor!!!?
Dear BPD conquerer,
Thank you for all the content. I've just been diagnosed 2 months ago at age 46. I've been in a relationship for the past 2 years but it's caused a lot of damage. While I'm seeking therapy my partner hasn't found anyone who can help. She's not interested in speaking to just any therapist. Are there any groups etc for partners of those who live/ love with BPD? She'd like to speak to fellow companions. Any help/ advice would be really appreciated.
The end... why I don't go to doctors. Yikes.
I hope by now, she is NOT dating these types of men anymore. And Shes right, the doctors yes.....who will they believe....me or you? I've found doctors to be.....arrogant jerks. There I've said it......but we know its true.
I love hearing Charlotte speak. Thank you for this video.
Crazy how her ex is labeled abusive and she plays victim but doesn’t take full accountability about all her wrong doings. I’m sure he did bad things but one would be inclined to believe she deserved it for the plethora or wicked things she’s done and said. If you want to highlight BPD make sure to do it without labeling the people who were actual victims of the diagnosed individual as toxic, abusive, narcissistic and etc otherwise you’ll void the empathy you’re looking to get.
She did take ownership and didn't blame her ex for her self-inflicted injury. She admitted to being vicious. If you've seen any other videos of Charlotte on this channel, you would witness how unrelentingly hard on herself she is. You would see the profound shame that she carries, which is so characteristic of someone with bpd
I was married (technically still am) to a woman on the BPD/HPD spectrum for 17 years… Up until Sept 2022.
Can’t ever be 💯, but I’ve experienced this before many times.
Dishonesty in the form of extreme exageration is super common. Pity is the easiest for of external validation to obtain.
This dishonesty can also be based in the extremely hyper-sensitive way that she perceives the world around her. It makes for a heavily distorded memory even sometimes completely disconnected from reality. Either way it becomes increasingly common as the belief and validation continues to comes in… which is especially easy to obtain when a woman claims to be a victim of conjugal violence. 🫤 The person suffering from BPD/HPD comes to believe it themselves even. It’s a nightmare.