The First Time John Oliver Asked A Girl Out On A Date, He Was 5 Years Old
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ก.พ. 2022
- Sarah Constable from Birmingham, England, we hope you never have to see this. Stick around for part three of John Oliver's interview with Stephen, and check out the new season of "Last Week Tonight" when it premieres this Sunday on HBO. #Colbert #LastWeekTonight #JohnOliver
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I'm now imagining Sarah being a police officer, just to be called Constable Constable.
Like Catch-22's Major Major Major Major?
@@serendipityshopnyc That's where I got the seed of the idea!
I hope she's been promoted and is now Inspector Constable.
Hells YES! 😂😂
That sounds like it should be a character from the non-existent Hot Fuzz 2
John needs to be at least a monthly guest. This needs to be a regular thing. They have such a hilarious comedic flow, a great give and take that's just premium entertainment to me.
I'd settle for a podcast between these two in their twilight years :3
Regular appearances IMO would be too schticky for J.O. He’s too authentic.
@@Echo81Rumple83 Amen
Agreed.
I wonder if John’s kids have British accents? 🤔 I’ve always wondered if kids with mixed language/accent parents (such as British & American) take one on more than the other, or if it’s a mixture of both? I guess accents aren’t really genetic - they’re more environmentally influenced, so by that token I guess it depends on which country you were raised in. 💁🏽♀️
"I had some friends who played the viola, and they recovered." Wow, after that series of jokes, John must feel so viola-ted.
Stephen left out the best one.
Q: What's the difference between a dressmaker and a violist?
A: A dressmaker tucks up frills...
@@skierpage I got that joke!
Cue the tiny violins and sad trombone for that joke
John is a top tier story teller.
Yeah. I think he should have his own show.
John Oliver has a beautifully twisted mind.
@@ClickItYT Not sure if you were joking or not, but just in case you really don't know; he has hosted the award winning show on HBO, 'Last Week Tonight' for the past nine years.
@Caleb Jacobs Yeah, he was the only good thing about that soulless remake!
@@shiny_creations Yes, I was just joking. But I know that it wasn't very obvious.
John Oliver is simply a mature child. God I love him.
"Mature" an overstatement :) Maybe, "unusually large child."
@@hereigoagain5050 Ah, so he's John Mulaney?
@@ericminch no, he's not a proud Asian-American woman.
You describe most men...
He is both a child and ancient at the same time. The only thing he is not is his actual age
Sarah Constable .. wherever you are .. please send him those sandals 😂😂
😄
I can watch Steven and John talking to one another for the rest of my life.
This is true for me as well.
A little to nerdy for me
Saaaame.
Me too
John being a child actor in Oliver Twist, playing on the sports team and being a former violist- he really is a jack of all trades 😅
... and Master of none :))
@@oren1neu1dag, but oftentimes better than the master of one...
wow, really? which one? was it a named role?
A real Renaissance man!
Oliver is absolutely brilliant.
John and Stephen are a winning chat show duo. John is everything, and Stephen let’s him talk and only interjects with a witty well-timed assist. It’s beautiful.
The true beauty of these two is that Stephen can just as easily be the one that will go on with a longer story and John will be the one to add in witty commentary. They play off of each other so well it is a real joy to watch/listen to them together.
Wow, you think Steven is intelligent...
Sad how low your bar is set.
Well they were both correspondents for the Daily Show around the same time
That's not entirely fair. Watching Stephen cracking up behind his hand, trying to keep it in long enough to let the anecdote go on unimpeded, is also part of the charm!
This is the main reason Colbert is superior to Fallon. Fallon won't shut up and let the guest talk.
You can tell John is a true athlete with his use of "Sport Teacher".
These 2 together are gold. More please. I don’t care what format. Just sit down and talk and record it for the masses.
Would it be better or worse if Jon Stewart was added to the conversation? Any combination of two of them is fantastic.
I would pay for that. Plus I would add Jon Stewart and maybe sometimes Trevor Noah.
Even off script, this man has a delivery that's just incredible.
I am a big fan of John Oliver but the story is clearly rehearsed. This is not a knock on him, all comedians have jokes and stories prepared that they deliver as if they're thinking of them for the first time
@@roblarssen249 so do people who aren't comedians
More of this calmer storyteller side of John Oliver...perhaps a fireside chat special every so often?...
His 'The Brummie Boy' or 'The Boy From Birmingham' would be a good watch.
I hope for an hour show with a 20 minute interview session added.
Watch his show. You get it all!
this is a side of John you'd probably know well if you watched often
A weekly podcast with John Oliver and Colbert. That needs to happen.
As a professional violist who is currently studying her doctoral in musical arts degree, this interview made my jaw drop and burst into laughter. John Oliver...fellow violist...glad to know we can call you one of us. 🤣🤣
What's the difference between a violist and a comedian? You laugh WITH a comedian.
Sorry Gwendolyn 😱, respect for all that study, stay strong!
Bahahahahaha good one @mustafa1name 🤣🤣🤣 And thank you.
omg fellow violist!!! i plan on pursuing the degree in the future!!
@@shalmali-379 Best of luck to you!!
As I was watching this, all I could think was, “My amateur orchestra could really use a trained violist”. They’re really rare!
On behalf of my fellow violinists: Violas are underappreciated, they always get the boring af score and yet they're the backbone of the orchestra, you don't consciously notice them but everything sounds prettier with violas in it. Violas are the real MVP and we should be grateful.
not to mention they were the favourites of people like Mozart and Brahms. The French kings had three viola groups vs. one violin section!
As a single instrument the viola is more interesting. It has a rich, full sound. It can play blues, soul, jazz
@@johanmalm8378 yeah, though unfortunately seldom does. It does here: th-cam.com/video/W26GuPl5Jos/w-d-xo.html
I always thought second sopranos were the violists of the choir.
But can they trill?
Q: What's the difference between a dressmaker and a violist?
A: A dressmaker tucks up frills...
As a violist and a former violin teacher, that last story had me absolutely dying. LOVE IT when Stephen brings up John's viola career.
And this violinist is crying real tears at that viola story…🤣🤣🤣
Me too!! I am a former professional hornplayer and somehow I felt his pain LOL!!!
Three. Blind. Mice. 💀
John Oliver and Stephen Colbert just chatting together is so much more entertaining than either of their monologues- their interaction together just works and contrasts perfectly. More of this please!
'Twas very entertaining indeed but not so sure about "more entertaining". I enjoy both!
@@anic5805 yup, same here. :)
Not everything needs to be compared or better than the other. All three are excellent entertainment for a lot of people.
This feels less like an interview and more like Stephen just invited John to hang out and shoot the shit in front of an audience. It's very much obvious that these two are great friends, and it makes for great interactions.
Agreed. I love their history together and their funny banter. It’s probably a lot like this when they’re hanging out in each other’s homes and not on television. It’s so natural and pure.
Dear -CBS- *Paramount:*
Read through these comments and understand that we desperately want more John-on-Stephen action. Their conversations are always great and they make our lives better. Thank you.
I think their wives may have something to say about that
His wife just looked down at her Jimmy Choo's and sighed heavily.
😆
🤣
We love you John. Incredible stories. Especially the one where you report that you were once 5 years old. Love it.
John Constable sounds like the new Marvel version of DC's John Constantine. 😂🤣
Or more accurately an English painter from the 18th century!
@@timbeaton5045 Layers within layers, friend.
Ah yes. Playing the long game. Becoming a Daily Show correspondent, having a podcast, landing your own show on an uncensored network -- all just to one day be reunited with your beloved... blue glasses and lacquered sandals?
honey, i'm leaving you.
the Blue Glasses girl has come back into my life.
@@vforwombat9915 🤣😂
@@vforwombat9915 great comment, fantastic username. Kudos to you, good sir
@@coralcanvas1923 thnx
To be fair, I remember that story on The Bugle, blue glasses and all. But then that was forever ago.
Oliver has everyone eating out the palm of his hand telling these stories. Never have there been more savage jokes about an instrument. 🎻👀
John is such a good storyteller, I almost choked on my coffee the way he told that football coach story.
"What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?"
"The Coffin has a dead person on the inside"
😂😂😂😭😂😭😂😂🤣
the first viola joke...Stephen, is "How do you keep your violin from getting stolen? Put it in a viola case." Love you both! thanks for the laughs!
John Oliver is both an owl and a teddy bear. He’s adorable.
I can listen to John Oliver for hours, whatever the story he is telling, even brushing his teeth would sound like an incredible story! What a raconteur!
5 minutes on lacquer shoes from the 70s and I’m still here 😂
Gotta love John's ability to spin a good yarn
Could Graham Norton please invite John Oliver? He’d definitely be able to present a clip of his viola-playing 😊
He needs to be in a major movie for that to happen.
I'd like to see him on Qi. Could you imagine a show with him and David Mitchell?
I love how funny John Oliver can be on the spot, but I love even more, how he is always able to laugh at other people‘s jokes!
John Oliver has the best stories.
This is one of those segments I heard more than watched because I was laughing so hard my face squished up and closed my eyes.
I find the opposite & I need to rewatch cause I tend to laugh so hard/loud at these 2 that I miss most of what they're saying because of it
Fucking hell John Oliver is just so naturally funny. I want to have a beer with this guy.
‘John Constable walks away confidently from a massive explosion, and he’s coming for you 2022.’
It will move your Heart.
Should be the tag line for the action star we need today.
Would absolutely see that in the cinema. The world's first viola-playing super-spy just brave enough to try romance one! more! time!
Ninja move winning back the crowd there, Mr. Constable hashtag feminism. 😂
The digging out of a hole mine cracked me up
I cannot believe how hard I laughed at his viola story!! LOL I felt his pain lol
I’m so freaking glad John’s show is back on, and Stephen decided to come back to work, oh joy! 🥰😍💋💕❤️👍
John does 30 shows a year. That's more than 5 months a year with no shows from Oliver. Those are some long months.
Sunday 20 February can't come fast enough.
Your use of lovey emojis made me initially assume you were a bot trying to sell some adult website. It's sad that TH-cam comments have gotten to the point where that is the more likely scenario.
I can't think of a more magical scene than Stephen Colbert and John Oliver having a chat.
Throw Jon Stewart in the mix and that would be so amazing!!!!
Points to Colbert - he could have gone for the standard viola joke.
"What's the difference between a violin and a viola? The viola burns longer."
Q: What's the difference between a dressmaker and a violist?
A: A dressmaker tucks up frills...
I always heard “there is no difference, but violins look smaller compared to the violinists’ heads” 😂
I know this feeling. I was an all-state football player and violinist. Something similar happened and I sold the violin to buy my first guitar. I can completely relate.
Love the Nana Mouskouri reference! She was my Grandfather's favorite singer and I remember seeing her on the cassette tapes in North Carolina! ❤
As a matter of fact, John himself has a bit of a Nana Mouskouri resemblance going on in his face now that I think of it. I loved her songs as a child. Always watched 'Hitparade' with my parents in Germany.
Musta been next-gen cassette tapes if you could see her as well as hearing her!
That’s real friendship and affection. I always look forward to John and Stephe’s fun banter. 😀
John is my favourite guest. With Seth, with Stephen, or with a UK interviewer... doesn't matter. He is such a good story teller.
*CAN'T WE HAVE MORE OF THESE TWO ? ? ? ? ? ? ?*
A monthly Colbert-Oliver Special?
Or Weekly?
Or a feature film. Or.....
"John Constable" sounds like a former sheriff-turned-badass-vigilante in a TV show set in small town America.
Shire reeve John Constable
I was a music major but was drafted into the army in 1972 after my freshman year. I played on my unit's football team as their best defensive linemen. My teammates got the biggest kick out seeing me knock our opponents all over the field and then go into the barracks and practice a Bach suite on my viola.
I saw the subtitle already but I still laughed at the Three Blind Mice.
John's "new season starting February visit" to Colbert is so reliable, when this vid came up on my recommends, I instantly knew LWT would be back this coming weekend. Who needs to check schedules?
I just adore John Oliver he is amazing , so smart and funny !
oh god the part about realising you're terrible at playing your instrument and love music too much to allow yourself to butcher it is TOO true lmaoo it'd be great to just allow ourselves to be horrible at it but have fun anyway lol
My mother encouraged me to play clarinet, but I was terrible. My teacher encouraged me to play cello, but I was terrible. Then I discovered guitar, loved it, took lessons for seven years, and even though people said I was pretty good I realized I'd never be as good as the guys who picked it up and were playing better than me within a year. Still had fun with it now and then but gave up any ambition.
Fun fact: the effect of “I’m bad” to “Hey, I’m getting good!” to “I’m pretty good at this!” to “Oh my god, I suck at this!” is known as the Doening-Kreuger effect. It’s a psychological phenomenon where a person’s limited experience with a subject or skill leads to them overestimating their expertise, and then quickly realizing how little they truly know once they start to learn more.
Wow. Thanks so much for explaining something that everyone already knows...
Or... Something that everyone thinks they know, but really they don't really know how much they know about it because they don't actually know enough to know that they don't know enough...
Y'know?
I don't know.... Memes and pokemon and whatever other stuff the kids are into these days...
this can also be applied to life in general as older teenagers being in the 'I'm pretty good at this!' stage before crashing into adulthood on 'oh my god, I suck at this'.
I just learned enough, to feel bad about it 😉
This is why ignorance is bliss, even if it'll piss off others. It's like deciding if you want to be stupid but happy or smart but miserable...
Y'mean like someone implying a position of apparent clinical psychological authority by naming a cognitive bias via a TH-cam comment section as a fun fact? It's beautiful for it's open irony.
This needs to be a regular segment. Call it “The Oliver Twist”. John comes on, and the banter and shenanigans can commence. BOOM! Million dollar idea, and I’m giving it away.
🤣🤣
The best part of being a violist is being able to instantly relate to other violists... Like you all went through the same traumatic event, impossible to describe to someone who didn't experience it
It's just too bad he didn't keep trying after the "Oh, my God, I suck at this" phase -- because a few months after that, one stops sucking. And not sucking at viola is blissfully a billion times better than not sucking at pretty much any other instrument. I'm glad I kept at it, but TBH it was probably better for the world that he gave up hope and became one of the best comedians EVER.
John can turn the mundane into pure poetic hysteria. i have tears in my eyes...
Wouldn't it be hilarious if the Brits find both Sarah and that viola man and then somehow get them on the Late Show to surprise John Oliver?
@Fiqih Wanita ← jerk posting completely unrelated TH-cam videos in reply comments.
Omg! I’m dying from laughter! John Oliver is the best!
The 2 best current late night hosts ❤️
I concur!
You forgot about Tucker.
@@Bloory100 Hoo-hah, good one! Oh, you probably meant Seth, right?
@Juragan Muda ← jerk posting completely unrelated videos in TH-cam comment replies.
John needs to avoid Graham Nortons show forever if he doesn't want Sarah showing up in the red chair.
He could always just push the lever immediately 😅
true
I saw this man in person last month and his stories were all this amazing, he even told a longer version of that coach story. He ended up revealing he is telling the story because the coach was interviewed for a modern piece about JO and was pretty mean when he didn't have to be.
I wish I could find the interview that his coach gave on John Oliver. Looked around but didn’t find anything.
It’s objectively hilarious that we all love John Oliver and no one knows the sports teacher’s name. It’s probably Richard..
I can’t believe no one but John knew who Nana Mouskouri is! 😳
Nana Mouskouri is mainly known in Europe I guess. I am from Germany and of course I knew who she is.
I look forward to seeing Sarah on the show next week
John's freaking hilarious!!! 😂🤣😂
Finally. I waited for those viola jokes for the entirety of those two years.
Speaking as a violist I already knew the punchline of all of those viola jokes
Those were some very old jokes. I was hoping he might have some new ones.
My first double bass teacher accidentally destroyed Santa Claus for his daughter cause he told a joke to a friend of him about a slow playing violaist and a fast playing one, Santa, the Easter bunny and some more doing a race. Upon telling the slow playing violaist would win cause the others don't exist, his daughter bursted into tears. So there was a little bit of karma for telling a viola joke 😉
So did John (probably) but he wanted to give Stephen his moment.
I could watch these 2 for hours
Honestly, good for John for getting involved with both sports and music as an adolescent; some people would feel like they need to pledge allegiance to either one instead of enjoying both
People are finally remembering that instead of worrying so much about format in shows like this, just put two funny people together and let them be themselves.
Well I'm sure they predetermined that he'd tell those stories but they could probably talk about the weather and make it hilarious
John Oliver's exquisite comedic timing finally broke through Stephen's hard shell of insecurity whenever Stephen interviews fellow comedians!
I used to love Nana Maskouri at 8 years old. What a thing we have in common, John Oliver. We might be the only 2 humans alive who remember her.
many europeans remember her and her songs. stephen might even know her but certainly not the average american
You have to love this man’s ability to both be incredibly British and wonderfully cheeky at the same time. You are a treasure Mr Oliver.
I just love when you interview John ....
I like the 4 stages of competence model:
1) *Unconsciously incompetent* - You know so little about the thing that you don't even know what you don't know. For example, with an instrument, you go "oh, it's just pressing down the strings in the right order, anyone can do that".
2) *Consciously incompetent* - You start learning about the thing, and you realize just how much practice actually goes into mastering the skill. At some point in this stage, you have to make a decision if you're going to actually pursue the skill or not.
3) *Consciously competent* - You have acquired some actual skill. It's still not entirely natural to you, but if you're playing an instrument, it sounds good. If you're driving a car, you're still very aware of how often you're checking your mirrors, still get stressed out when something different happens.
4) *Unconsciously competent* - You've mastered the skill to the point that it has become a natural part of you. You start to forget the earlier stages of competence and how hard it actually is.
And in my case, a family crisis hits the final nail to the coffin where your hopes and dreams die.
Beautifully said, I wrote this down. :)
2 of my 4 favorite late night personalities together 😁 I LOVE These guys 🤗
When these two get together, all is right in the world.
Hey, I got the Nana Mouskouri reference!
Love the show, love John, love Stephen.
"There is a world..." is a premise I will steal for later jokes - Thank you!
John Constable would be a truly amazing name
sounds like a character on dr. who
i feel like a modern update to that show would be dr.why the hell
He was an amazing artist.
@@heathcotepursuit8 I KNEW I recognized that name!
@@heathcotepursuit8 it took me to read your comment to realize that yes, John Constable was an actual person! I've seen those countryside paintings myself! And i have a degree in art history 🤣😅
The Daily Mail is going to hunt for Sarah Constable.
Sure! And the Express.
The world has needed a new John Stewart, Jon Oliver, and Stephen Colbert show/podcast for years
Give to me
An oldie but goodie: "Why are all viola jokes so short? Because violinists have to remember them."
Not going to lie John and Stephen together are awesome. I got to break up their act together, because. And this is true I might die of enjoyment.
this was just what I needed today - well tonight - (yeah very much last week, month, year tonight) - always a joy and a pleasure seeing either of these two - both together - bliss
John is just so fun to watch
Always look forward to John and Stephen just chatting. Please do a podcast or something!
Two of the greatest of all time.
Colbert telling viola jokes is the moment I’ve been waiting for all these years
The band missed an opportunity to play three blind mice at the end there. ;)
What sound is made when two violists are playing in unison?
A minor second.
I could watch 2 hours of Stephen reading viola jokes to John.
Oh, I totally knew of Nana Mouskouri - Greek Singer with glasses, beautiful voice. She was popular in the Soviet Union in the 70s.
1.) I'm glad I wasn't in the audience, because I would have been shouting all the punchlines of those viola jokes from my seat (they're all old jokes that most classical musicians know, like: Q: What's the difference between a violin and a viola? A: Violas burn longer).
2.) EVERY musician, including the folks in the band have had that moment of frustration where they don't sound like the music in their heads. I imagine that they still have those moments some days. It's part of the journey.
John is a wonderful comedian
3:23 Stephen points at John's ring when he says "Sarah, I remember you." Lmao
My favorite guys 🤗😘
Need to find John again!!!
Welcome back Stephen.
Charcuterie: what we used to call “cold cuts”
S'ok.. the first time Matt Gaetz asked a girl out, she was 5 too... Him? Errrr.....
John Oliver is the best one on the NEWS segment :) Cant wait for Season 9! ;)
Love you John! Hilarious criteria for being attracted to another five year old! Your creativity and intelligence, your otherworldliness were showing through even then. Of course the rest of us who are close to exceptional five year olds can imagine it, absolutely.