I Was Traumatized (My True Labor Recovery Story) ||
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.ย. 2017
- It's been a tough journey but I finally got the courage to be open about my traumatic labor recovery. Serious TMI warning because I talk about EVERYTHING. I hope my honestly can help bring peace of mind and strength to other women who have been through similar circumstances. Thank you, beyond anything, for listening.
If you'd like to see the story of my labor & delivery, here's that video:
MY LABOR & DELIVERY STORY
• My Labor & Delivery St...
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I'm a primary care provider, and that urgent care story was still scary to me. You are a very strong person to have gone throughout that physical/mental ordeal and still be able to share your experience!
Please see a pelvic floor therapist!!! This person can help you for all of these problems. After having a baby, your body has gone through a lot of trauma. A lot of women have these issues and have no idea this type of physical therapy exists. Please thumbs up this comment so she and other women can see this! Women’s health is important. 💕
Zosia Mamet also ended up dealing with this, though as far as I know, she didn't even have a baby at the time this went on.
This is why I hate the social media sometimes. There's so much emphasis on women and they're post-partum body. They're so amazed and celebrate a women for looking "amazing" and like they did before. Then there's shaming and judgement when those women's bodies don't "snap back". That's just so much pressure and unrealistic for someone who has literally just given birth. It's absolutely unfair and oppressive. While it's awesome that these celebrities have lost the weight and "snapped back" to their pre-pregnant bodies. Their jobs are to look good and they have professionals to help them in every way.
I think it's great that you're talking about this because it is something that needs to be discussed. The reality of giving birth and having a baby. What your body goes through. The way society puts so much pressure on women to look great at every moment. It needs to stop. It's degrading and so shallow.
Yes it takes a lot to raise kids too so women should be respected for all they do
I feel like online, pregnancy is so glorified. Not many women talk about the things you did in this video. Thank you so much for sharing! You're a strong woman :) bringing us all back to reality
I'm so glad you opened up about your experience. Women need so much more support after birth. I feel like people think because so many women have babies, it's not as big of a deal as it actually is. My first few days postpartum were rough, I thought I had actually injured my legs forever because they hurt so bad. The worst part for me was postpartum depression and anxiety though. I found most doctors/people in general were lacking so much compassion and empathy. Mentally, I didn't even feel better until after my son turned one.
sara H I'm so sorry Sara. I don't have children but I fully support all pregnant women. We need to care for them far more than we do and provide as much support as we can for all of you especially emotional support. ❤️❤️❤️
sara H I had a similar experience, I heard about post partum and didn't think it would happen to me. Once my son turned a year and started sleeping more and I started regaining a more normalized routine that wasn't completely focused on my son - I began to feel like myself and not just a mom.
sara H d
I'm a labor and delivery nurse and postpartum does discharge our vaginal deliveries after 24hr if there's no issues. It didn't used to be so pushy and it was more of a 24-48hr window, but with high turnover rates and more delivering mom's I think the hospital's/management pushes for that quick turn around.
Urinary incontinence is common in mom's after delivery. I think it's just not something people like to openly discuss, so NO you're not alone and there's no shame. We encourage kegel exercises immediately on a regular basis to regain that pelvic floor strength. Women naturally have less control with urinating. In extreme exercise (jumping up in down/jump rope, running long distances, lifting weights even) women have commonly had small amounts of incontinence. We have short urethras and so we rely on pelvic floor muscles.
I think your body image and disconnect is more to blame on the media and lack of acceptance of natural body changes/transition to motherhood. Media is all about tummy tucks and commonly for mom's. Instead of celebrating a women's body and the changes, people ask if you'll get a tummy tuck or what about the loose skin? It makes it nearly impossible for mothers to accept and just be okay with this new body. You can accept a body that's pregnant because there's positive stigma to a pregnant belly, but so much negative stigma post delivery.
I've never had a child myself and seeing what women go through both scares and amazes me everyday. I think it's important for people of influence, such as yourself to share their stories because it does help other women. It's great that you advocated for yourself! Some MDs really are harsh and lack empathy for their patients pain.
Sorry this is long! But I think you're beautiful and you brought a beautiful little girl into the world. Love yourself and own the fact that you performed a miracle. Your body created life and its nothing to be ashamed of.
Nisa Shinagawa Ohhh sweetie wait until you have a baby..... you see this every day like a job.... wait until you are the patient. Not pretty
Nisa Shinagawa thank you for sharing! I am a L&D nurse as well, and I am pregnant with my 3rd. When I had my first 8 years ago, everyone told me how great it was, but they didn't tell me what happened after the baby. The birthing process is not pretty, and I commend Jen for talking about it. I think ladies just don't talk about that part because of the fact that it is not pleasant. If you feel something isn't right, listen to your body (just like Jen did- be an advocate for yourself). What's most important in the end is a healthy mom and baby 😊
+Ann Malone you sound very condescending and rude. She was simply stating the reasons for quick turnover and providing info for those that don't know from a nurses perspective. Im sure she realizes it's going to be different when she's the patient and the roles are reversed. 🙄
MrsMakeupAddict89 g
Nisa Shinagawa wow well said.
I'm here crying when you cried too because I went through a rough recovery after delivering my baby as well. Long story short, I took 3 hours to push my little girl out and after staying in the hospital for 3 days I went home and got a uterus infection. I had bad symptoms and wasn't able to take care of my baby girl and she was only 4 days old. I went to the ER and stayed at the hospital for another 3 days with antibiotics. When I got discharge the doctors and I thought I was alright and won't be needing any more antibiotics but a few days later I ended up going to the ER the second time. However, instead of staying at the hospital they sent me home with antibiotics. By the time things got a little better I began to notice I have postpartum depression. It's been 7 months since I had my baby and I'm still recovering from postpartum depression. I just want to thank you for sharing your story because it gives me hope that I'll be alright. 💕💕💕💕 btw where did you get your top, I love it!!
Amanda Vang you're a strong woman, I'll give you that! Hope you stay strong ya
Amanda Vang hope u better. Now
I went through the vaginal tears and pain and all that "tmi" concerns and loss of "self" after having my first child, but then after my second and now third child, the afterdelivery physical and emotional concerns become smooth sailing, "pro status" if you will. Having a baby changes EVERYTHING but the experience and afterwards is all worth it!
As a medical student, I am very glad you spoke about this. Going through an pregnancy is such a complicated step in itself and to see you struggle... it's sad... I assume the doctors didn't advise or support adequately. I wish they had. I myself can learn from this.
The continence is probably due to the perineal tears because they play a role in urine and bowel continence.
So proud you spoke of this. Kudos to you making this video. In a way, you can look back and congratulate yourself for surviving this. Much love ❤️❤️
I'm a nurse in France and i'm so shocked ! You just stay 24 hours in maternity ? OMG. It's not enough for mothers... I think it's very sad because they don't treat their patient like human...
But I'm so happy to finally see a video about the truth of giving birth. You don't hide the drawbacks of having a baby. I see with my patient. Lots of mothers don't know all this things !
I love your chanel and I love you so much ! I'm just 23, and you are my model !
Jeanne Lao I stayed in hospital for three days and, luckily, that's all I needed. It was a mandatory three day stay and everything went smoothly. I lucked out too. The hospital I was at had a complete purge of the employees about six months before I started going. I moved during pregnancy so I was brand new to the area and I loved everyone I worked with! They were great, let me do what I needed to do, and helped every step of the way. It's so nice to hear other moms and their experience because I know that not every story is the same, and as much as it pains me to hear really difficult stories like this, I could've been there or that could be my next one and I'd like to know as much as I can.
This is incredibly honest and so many women feel this way. Thank you so much for sharing
I love your story. Not because it's good or bad but because it's true and raw and typically unseen. My whole heart ugly-cried throughout this whole video. My mother also felt so alone whenever she had a rectal prolapse and her finger nails started to come out. Craziness like this exists but back then there was no google. You are the content and the answer and inspiration for someone to seek help. Thank you for your story.
I'm glad to hear you talk about this even though I don't have kids or really plan to have kids. I feel like people glamorize pregnancy sometimes and don't talk about the things that happen not only physically but mentally. Hope this video helps a lot of mamas out there not feel alone with their experiences and remind them their bodies are amazing (at every stage. The before, during, and after pregnancy).
This has always baffled me! Pregnancy was really hard for me and extremely un-glamorous and I felt constantly reminded that I wasn't handling it as well as others have. And I 100% agree, our bodies are AMAZINGGGGG at every stage, even the shlumpy, lumpy, mentally detached phases.
lilxblackcat you are so write! I thought I was gonna leave the hospital with make up on after having my baby, but I actually was wearing my pjs and sleepers and i needed a stool to get in the car. No glamour at all in any of it... its so sad most ppl dont want to show the reality of it..
From Head To Toe That's ridiculous that people were trying to make you feel bad for not "handling" it better, whether they were trying to or not. You're a different person so you're gonna deal with things differently and you're gonna feel things differently. You can't control how you feel and those people don't get to tell you how to feel either. I wanna say that you have done an awesome job and know that you're loved and supported.
My sister in law had the same urinary incontinence too. She was told it is because your bladder goes 'numb' so you can't feel when you have to pee. She set an alarm every two hours to make sure she went to the bathroom.
I had to do the same. Every hour or two I would go to the bathroom to prevent an accident because I couldn't feel when I needed to go. It felt like I was a toddler and was potty training while literally having no warning sensation of when I needed to pee. 😥
I had to go every 45 minutes to an hour or else I'd pee myself - I remember peeing on the floor and the student nurse asked me to try stop and walk to the washroom - I feel like no one took me seriously and they all said do kegels (I did!) but it took awhile it seemed ... nothing like waking up at 3am mopping up your piss because you overslept 🤦🏽♀️
Nobody ever tells you this being a girl, information saves lives. Thank you for sharing. I feel high school students (boys and girls) should get this information
Kids have never been something i wanted but that doesn't mean I dont have empathy for what women go through during child birth. I am so so sorry that you went through such a difficult time, may god bless you and your family. Men truly have no idea what women go through during labor and post child birth. I hope you have been recovering well. 💖 I am glad you spoke up and said something when you were in pain, especially since from certain angles you cant see everything.
dominique007 it's ladies like you who really help us mom. Even though you don't have kids, you have loads of compassion.
Bless you.
Girl, I totally feel you! I had a very similar situation with a rough labor and then scary blood clot/infection aftermath. Being a mama makes us strong!!! You are awesome for telling your story. ❤️
that was very heartwarming, thank you for having the courage to share!
How sweet of you Ally! so heartwarming to see youtubers support each other :) I love you
Max Brinker I love that you gave the word of God for support, and I appreciate that you did so. God is always there for people, especially in low parts of our life.
Kayla Munger e
FashionByAlly Hi
Thank you Jen for sharing this experience! You are helping so many women from this video (including myself)! One day I want to be a mother like you and this video truly helped me! I would have never known you went through this because when I saw you soon after you had your daughter for Cassey's Xmas party you looked so happy and amazing! Hope to see you soon again!! :) XOXOX
I miss you on snap! Lol
There's not enough follow up for mothers that just went through labour... :(
I agree 💯
Thank you for opening up. I gave birth on January 23, 2017. I'm 4'9" and I had an emergency c section. I live in Canada and my nurses and doctors were the best in MommyBaby care. I'm sorry you were so traumatized. But look how strong you are! You lived through it and have a beautiful baby to show for it.
I took on a birth class for another college class and holy cow, I was trained and taught SOOO much about pregnancy. It opened my eyes on how traumatizing professionals can make the process of birthing for mothers. The US system of birthing is very unnatural, we go in during the water break, once ovulated we are forced to push and are under intense pressure to push fast. When in general, we should allow our body to slowly let the baby slide through. It's crazy how our system has it so "rushed" bc it makes mother feels very.... Alone (especially with the lack of mental support). So I'm super grateful I've had the opportunity to learn about these experience. I apologized for your horrible experience. I hope for your next baby, you seek a birth sister / Doula who mentally and physically goes through the pregnancy with you the entire time and caters to your body's need.
My older sister is a doula and she always talks about how serious it is to let everything be natural. You arent even supossed to lay down because it pushed the baby down and strains on the mother. It is actually dangerous to push the baby out because it actually makes you contract everything and it is actually harder for the baby to come out
LillysLookForLess I watched a documentary and it led me to chicken out on getting an OB. I'm going to stick with my midwives for now. I live in Canada so the system could be a little better but I'm worried. I'm so scared of the experience that I have yet to experience
You should not let the baby slowly come out because there's a good chance it could suffocate in the vaginal canal.
Sapphire Vorabouth You start pushing once u are **Dilated** not 'ovulated.. Dilated means that your vaginal canal is basicaly expanding so that the baby can fit...and also the tip of your uterus is slowly opening also at the same time...but it's a natural process...your body is going to ''tell" you when you are ready to push...but they tell you ti start pushing when u are dikated to 10cm in diametre cuz beforw that. Your body isn't ready... But it has nothing to do w the baby's lungs..
Victoria Skhirtladze and exactly how many babies have U heard of that suffocated in the vagina canal!? ...Never..! It actualy Neeever Happens! That is what all the machines arw for.. They know the baby's vitals at all time...and if, for whatwver reason, the baby becomes in distress, they will stop the mom from pushing and do an emergency C-Section! ...
Love your transparency! TH-cam needs more moms like you!
I have to comment Jen, but I am so very grateful for your video. You are my voice , to tell the world how it was for me when I had my first son. Your story is a lot similar to mine, the physical part, and the mental part. I never thought being a parent is this difficult. They said it gets easier, and I disagree. It's never easy and it will continue to be hard for the rest of our lives. I get to be a mother a year right after college and being pregnant + the birth + the healing have got to be the hardest most stressful things I went thru for 22 years living. Thank you for sharing with us, having us follow your journey. I am so thankful and happy that finally, someone has spoken! You have no idea how inspirational it was to have someone else understand what I've been thru. I'm having my 2nd baby, a princess in a month and I'm sooooo excited 😊! ❤️ Cheers
As a mom I can totally relate to you Jen! No one told me how hard postpartum would be.. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
It's messed up how the American healthcare system treats delivering mothers as a vessel for a baby. Without taking care of the woman at all... I'm way too scared to ever have a child and I'm so sorry you went through this.
Jane S. if you do decide to have a baby at some point, consider a homebirth with midwives!! I felt the exact same and had my first 6 months ago at home, and it was the most amazing experience!!
Some companies do offer paid maternity leave. It's just that its a short period of time. Majority is only 6 weeks.
Thank you so much for posting this video. I'm currently seven weeks postpartum and have been diagnosed with pelvic floor prolapse age 27 after my first baby. Traumatizing is exactly how I would describe my recovery and I did not feel prepared... even though I work as a health care provider. So much public focus is on the baby after birth and not the mother. Thank you for using your platform to bring light to some of the things that happen after birth and for sharing your very real and raw feelings. Women need to know they aren't alone in this.
Hillary Mills I suffered pelvic organ prolapse as well after my first (at 30). It’s such a common occurrence, yet nobody talks about it.
Jenn, thank you so much for being so honest! I don't have any kids but have been married for years and people constantly ask me about kids but I'm always so scared of my physical and mental health after. I appreciate the honest truth and definitely see the beauty of being a Mommy :)
I don't have any children but I loved hearing your story. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you but your story is truly inspiring. Stay strong!
Hi Jen,
My husband and I are thinking of having children very soon. We are both healthcare providers; I am a nurse and he is a doctor. Thank you so much for having the courage to post this. You were so articulate and pure with all your thoughts and words. I felt a strong reaction to watching your video. Not just as a fellow woman and future mom, but also as a nurse. I have definitely gained a different perspective from listening to your story and will carry that with my nursing practice. Thanks again so much for sharing your experience. ❤️❤️❤️
Watched this again for the first time in a year or two. Such an important video. I learned as a doctor, to be very careful about my words and be empathetic to my patients, but also I learned as a hopefully future mom. Thank you for making this video, and your daughter I'm sure is going to be so grateful for your sacrifice when she's older
What a brave woman you have become Jen. I have been following since the old heart to heart you to now the beautiful brave mother ! Thank you so much for sharing your story. Your heart to heart always pop up in my head as a self reminder. It might sound cliche, but you truly have inspired me. Thank you Jen and I am so happy for you xx
This video was so beautifully made and sparked so much curiosity and mindfulness in me. Thank you for opening up Jen and thank you TH-cam for giving us a platform to experience content like this. Love to you and your family Jen!
Thank you for your honesty, this is seriously stuff that I would want to be at least somewhat mentally prepared for should it happen. It is so liberating to hear so many different accounts of what the event of childbirth is like. I feel so much more empowered through gaining new perspectives and knowledge.
By the way Jen, the ending to this video made me tear up. I have always been so terrified of getting pregnant and going through childbirth with all the bodily sacrifices it entails. The recovery sounds even more scary. But your message is beautiful. I really appreciate you sharing your story. I think after recovery it would be a bit exciting :)
This is so incredibly brave of you to share! I’ve been following you since your early years on youtube and I know you are a very private person. I love seeing how you have come out of your shell and started sharing more of your personal experiences. Being honest seems scary but sharing stories like this has probably helped so many other women realize they are not alone in their similar experiences. Way to go Jen!
Thank you so much for speaking on how traumatizing pain and doctors not taking it seriously can be. A few years ago I was suffering from a chronic illness that gave me severe chronic pain and my doctor did not take me seriously, nor did she care because it "wasn't life threatening". I felt utterly helpless and alone. Honestly watching this brought back a lot of memories of that experience, and realizing that I too experienced this sort of trauma (although of course without having a baby). Thank you for being so open and vulnerable by sharing your experience, even to your audience who have not or cannot have children, I feel a lot of people need to watch this and feel that they're not alone, and that their pain and how they feel matters. Doctors brushing off pain happens disproportionately to women and I think it's important for us to not only talk about it, but like you said, take charge and take action to make doctors see us and listen to us. Thank you again, Jen, and I am glad you are feeling so much better now :)
Dear Jen
I've been watching you for yearssss ! and I gotta say I'm so thankful you made this video ! I am far from having a baby but just watching this really put everything in perspective on a whole another level. Thank you for being so vulnerable and share EVERYTHING with us ! I dont have the best relationship with my mom and can only remember all the hurts but watching this made me realized oh how much she suffered to give me life. Thank you for giving such a beautiful bold and impowering mgs ! I never comment on anyone video but I just felt the need to share my thought ! can't wait to have my own baby someday (: I hope you will reply hehe :P
Oh my gosh, thank you so so much for following that long!
yay thank you so much for replying ! (:
Oh, Jen, this was heartbreaking to watch. Thank you for being so brave and sharing your experience. I am so glad you're recovered and wish you the best as you grow your family in the future! Sending love your way
This is really so beautiful , to hear really the wholehearted pain and joy that you've went through and to really just get to feel the uncensored raw moments that come with having a child. I really benefited from watching this and I could see the trauma in your eyes when you spoke about it , but also the triumph that came with overcoming it. The most raw, honest video I've seen in a long time.
thank you for sharing from the bottomest of my heart (:
I was the exact same! With a very unsupportive husband. I did have my second baby and I didn't have ANY drugs. It was MUCH more comfortable after having the second baby. I only used willow bark pads on my underwear for a couple days after. I think you'll be better with the next one! As a healthcare administrator, I highly encourage (if you haven't already) to tell your stories to each of the facilities you felt the quality was of care was not standard. It should be information taken so that they can help prevent the same attitudes to another mother AND possibly prevent infections in another mom. Thanks for sharing! You're not alone.
What's a willow bark pad? Is it similar to witch hazel pads?
My first baby I had so many issues as well. I feel like the hard part was not knowing what was normal and I also felt like I was suppose to just be in bliss and happy about everything so I felt guilty too. Thankful to have survived and gone through it 3 more times after! Aria is beautiful and so are you.
alittleaboutalot that's the word I'm looking for "afraid of knowing what's normal and what's not" 😰
I’m so grateful that you shared your story. I felt so alone and lost going through my postpartum while watching youtubers breeze through their pregnancy and postpartum with their perfect stories. Thank you for your strength and courage.
You're so amazing and genuine. Thank you for being brave and sharing. It's very insightful. No one ever really discusses the nit and gritty aspects. Thank you !!
Thanks for sharing such a personal story, Jen! It's really refreshing to hear the not-so-amazing parts of having a child because I feel like it's rarely discussed publicly, so it's good to mentally prepare and realize that it's normal/others experience it too. Excited to watch the other momtember videos you'll release! :)
Thank you so much for sharing your story. In social media and in real life I think new mothers feel pressure to put on an act that life with baby is blissful and beautiful and joyous and that snapping back to pre-baby appearance is only a matter of eating clean and getting right back to the gym. We need to allow ourselves to acknowledge the physical and emotional hardships that having a baby entails. I identified with so many of the things you mentioned in this video. The physical pain, the sense of loosing myself and feeling like my sole purpose of existing was to feed and comfort my son, and then finally finding myself again, but a mommy-version. That was 2.5 years ago. I just had my second baby and the experience has been completely different. My recovery was a breeze- I felt so good right away. And so far I'm feeling strong and capable as a mom. Getting through difficult experiences makes us stronger. Thanks again for speaking your truth and helping other moms feel validated in their own struggles and sure that they will make it through. 💪🏻
Thank you so much for sharing your honest truth! Many women shy away from discussing this, and hearing your story is very refreshing and encouraging for women who, like yourself, may feel alone in their symptoms. Never feel ashamed about your body. You carried LIFE for 9 months. You are amazing 💕
Wow. This definitely reminds me of my labor & brought back a lot of emotions I held inside for a long time. Thank you for sharing your experience with us all. ❤️
I will say, to keep in mind that being elderly isn't the only way to have bladder issues. Many disabled people including myself deal with it. I'm 24, and I've been wearing bladder control pads since I was young. Young people also deal with it, it's not just an elderly thing. Just thought I'd mention to get rid of this horrible stigma of that "bladder incontinence only effects elderly people so if you're young you should feel embarrassed." It's ableist to assume it's just for elderly. Anyway, I'm sorry you had to deal with so much.
Andrea Lausell yes!!! Yes yes yes. Thank you so much for saying this
Andrea Lausell +
That's a good thing to point out!
Andrea Lausell ❤️
What are bladder control pads? I'm on my 6th pregnancy and I'm constantly leaking
I loved the "I'm just happy to not feel like a cow" You did a great job handling the recovery!
Jen I'm so glad you're feeling better! I watch a lot of Labor and delivery/postpartum videos since it is my interest as a nurse and a hopeful future mother myself. This has to be one of the most honest stories I have seen. Thank you for having the courage to share your journey and encouraging other moms to take care of themselves during the vulnerable postpartum period. It is so so important!
Such an incredible story!!!! So glad you recovered safely!! Throughout this whole video, I felt like I was sitting right next to you while you were telling your story.
Thank you for this video. I'm 2.5 months postpartum and the hardest part for me wasn't my look or pain. Becoming a mother is such a huge change mentally + baby blues gave me terrible mood swings and anxiety. It was terrible I didnt know who I am anymore. Its starting getting better but still - I miss the old days when I could eat slowly, had a long bath, read magazine.
O Wu I feel you. My son is turning two and I miss those days where I could take my time applying makeup or just having long baths.
O Wu I remember me having a breakdown in the bathroom and having this intense feeling that my life was over. But that went away 2 months later.
I totally understand how you feel I am going through that too. But having a baby is a blessing
Amber of course baby is a blessing :) I love my son with all my heart! I just didn't expect such an intense emotions - kind of grief (?) after my old self and my old (sooo comfortable) life.
I had terrible experience for my first baby. It took me five years to recover. I made a good plan for the second one, choose a good doctor and hospital, a good nanny and nurse.
It went very well. Two cesarean
Jessica Yang Was it the tearing that took five years to heal or which part?
What an incredible story! As a mother who had hard time during my first couple years, I feel your pain and confusion and joy! Thank you for sharing! You are very brave and strong! There's always light at the end of the tunnel!
Thank you for making this video!! These are the things no one tells you about labor and delivery and the first few months!! I feel so bad that your medical team didn't give you more support though :( hopefully the next time around you get way more care and support on the medical side! Love your videos!!
As someone about to become a mom, thank you for your honesty 😘
What's surprising is that in other countries, (France for exampleà you stay at least 3 days in the hospital if you have a delivery without problems and if you've had any problems at all, you stay in the hospital untill the doctor assumes your body has recovered enough to handle a baby!
DameMague Public hospitals in Dubai also do the same thing.
Love this video Jen! I can't wait to be a mom one day, so thank you for your honesty and vulnerability here.
Can't wait to see more!
Thank you for this. I’m 6 weeks postpartum and fighting with all these things. My doctors aren’t supportive, and I’m struggling with how my daughters birth happened. I so needed to hear all of this.. so thank you, thank you 🙏
I am surprised by your experience, I had a level 2 muscle tear and was kept for 72hrs after my vaginal birth. Thank you for sharing your story, you are not alone. I felt like my labor was wonderful but it took a long time to get back to normal for me. Sending you lots of love!
Thank you for this :,(
People should start caring about the mother equally as the baby. You, the mother should realize you are valued equally... so thank you for this... I learned something new.
omg jen thank you so much for this video. I'm four months post part and just barely starting to feel hopeful about being in control of my body and being strong again. I swear I wanted to cry just listening to you tell the truth about your experience. It helps a lot with the whole "feeling alone in this" feeling.
I am so glad you posted this. It's so important for women to talk candidly about these things and remove the mystery and stigma from it! Your words are so powerful and your language is so well chosen. Thank you!
For those experiencing incontinence, either urinary or fecal, please please please recognize you have a vast number of options! One amazing option is to find a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist (may also me titled a Women's Health Physical Therapist). This doctor will help you and your body heal itself and make itself stronger. It is a newer specialty in Physical Therapy and many do not know that it even exists. There are a large number of techniques that they utilize to help strengthen that pelvic floor. I hope this comment helps someone in the future!
Hi Jen. I just stumbled across your channel and subscribed. I love you so much already and I love your peaceful spirit and they way you explained everything. I honestly cried when you cried 😔. I've never given birth before but I believe women are the strongest ever and we dont get enough credit for everything we have to go through, monthly's, childbirth etc.
That was such a great video, Jen. Thank you for opening up about your experience and being so honest about it all.
Jen, thank you so much for sharing. Honestly I'm shocked and humbled...these are not the stories that are everywhere and I'm so grateful to have a better understanding of what pregnancy can be! Thank you thank you for making yourself vulnerable in order to teach all of us!
Thank you! I had issues after and i felt like people would just blow me off if i mentioned any discomfort or issue, kind of like "suck it up your not the 1st person to ever have a child). I felt like i just needed to stop talking since no one would really listen.
Many of the comments are from those who recently went through childbirth or have yet to do so. However, my youngest (of 3) is now 23, and I came across your video by accident, but could relate to almost everything you said. My favorite bit was when you mentioned your abdomen looking like cottage cheese and assuming that it would be like that forever! I saw a friend and recent mother years before I had children myself and I assumed I would be the same, and that it never would go away. There is so much to say about pregnancy, delivery, and new motherhood that smaller things that are monumental to the new mom simply never come up at all. I wound up with a c-section for my first and despite a huge amount of reading and preparation, I assumed after the baby was delivered that the doctor "cleaned out" everything and that I wouldn't have to deal with the heavy shedding after. Wow was I wrong! Again, huge at the time and the confusion/expectations made it worse, but it is such a tiny part of what happened. And I had far better support than you did because things didn't go all that well & we were in the hospital for 8 days. I can't imagine what you had to summon to advocate for yourself and go to urgent care after only 3 days! Good for you and I hope you and your family have a wonderful future.
Jen you've always been one of my favorite makeup artists. Thank you soo much for this open and honest video. I'm a mother to be and to be honest very scared of delivery and postpartum recovery. I'm 4 months pregnant but can already feel and see the changes in my body like I've never felt before. But your video gives me encouragement and positivity! And the fact that you still want more children after what you went through is reassuring hah. Thank you thank you for your honesty!
This was a beautiful video, I can really feel what you went through! I am not a mother and I'm not sure I'm planning on being one, but you're right- it's useful to be able to know more and appreciate what women go through. Also I have been through things in my life that felt exactly like that, like you're going through changes all the time and it's hard for a very long time, until it starts getting better and you have grown in ways you never planner, but which are significant nonetheless. I think I like this aspect of the video the most, because there are tough times in life and it's soothing to see someone can relate to those, when it's not just one thing, but a long period of changes and you have to learn new things about yourself and adapt. Anyway, thank you, lovely video
Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry you had such a hard time during the recovery. It makes me wonder if there was anything I could've done to make your recovery experience better. I gave birth for the first time a few months before you and was still in the horrible part of recovery when you were anticipating birth. I was watching you glow as a pregnant lady and I didn't want to be the one that tells the glowing pregnant lady bad news.
I was new and alone in LA with my husband being the only one I was comfortable being myself with. Google was my best friend through many vital moments like when I googled "why can't I turn off my boobs", or when I was convinced my uterus was falling out of my body and the doctor said it's nothing, or when I wondered if I'd ever have control of my bladder again.
Thank God for online moms who don't filter cos they spoke the bare truth and told of how they had what I had, and they always ended with variations of "I have recovered so you will too" and that always made me feel better. They were a blessing to me, and now thank God for you and your courage to share the realities of post pregnancy. I'm sure you will bless many others too.
P.S. I don't know how you're doing now, but I still struggle a little with bladder control 18 months postpartum. I'm WAY better than before but have to be careful when I sneeze. Just sharing in case you or anyone reading this comment is experiencing this. You're not alone!
+Happy Lee Family I definitely still struggle with little leaks from jumping, sneezing, etc but I might go more into that in a future video. My whole kegels routine. Hopefully it will help both of us! Let me know if that's something you'd like me to talk about!
I'd watch anything you post but yes, that would be relevant to me :)
I was just wondering, which hospital did you deliver in? I just want to make sure I don't go there when I next get pregnant and deliver. But please feel free to not answer if that is private.
I love this! Thank you for making this video. I am 5 feet tall, 97 lbs and my twins are due this coming tuesday on the 12. As excited as i am, i have been so depress over my stretch marks and the thought of my body never going to be the same. This video def made me feel some kind of relief. Love you ❤😗
+Melina Xiong I had those same thoughts completely! And CONGRATS for making it this far with twins!!! It must be an even greater struggle and sacrifice for carrying two but from the perspective now, before the birth, it's impossible to fully understand yet why it's so worth it. But I promise, even the stretch marks look much better over time and your heart will feel like it's exploding from all the love you will feel. I'm so excited for you to experience that!
From Head To Toe thank u ❤❤❤
Hi Jen!
Thank you so much for sharing this and for being so honest and real! You are incredibly strong, and brave, and beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing that strength with us! Love you!
As someone who is frequently sick, like I'll probably see my doctor every other month with something new or something older and stronger, it's the worst when you're treated as if your problems aren't worth a care taker's time of day. You are so strong for not giving up, not getting lethargic and trying to tough it out. It takes a lot mentally and physically to do what you did. I'm glad you're feeling better and have the courage to share this! ❤️ Hope your good health persists!!!
I have had same experience as yours. 2 days after I gave birth to my baby, my grandmother passed away. My ob told me not to go out, just rest for a week, but because my grandmother passed away, I need to go to her wake. That caused my episiotomy to not heal properly and be infected 😭 I was in so much pain too that I cried and thought that my wounds will never heal. That's when I thought that I didn't come prepared for the aftermath of giving birth. I'm breastfeeding too... It's just comforting to know that same as yours, my husband is so much supportive, he even helped me apply the antiseptic down there... Motherhood really, now we know how hard and rewarding it is 😊
you're an incredible person. thank you for sharing your heart ❤
Hi Jen
Thanks for posting this video. Loved your honesty and perspective!
As a new mama myself, I want to thank you for sharing your story. I had a rough time myself and it was so easy to feel so alone but seeing you and others share helped me feel normal. Postpartum is such an unglamorous thing and it's so good to see more people talk about it.
I've not had children yet but I still like watching these types of videos to know what can happen. Thank you for talking about the psychological aspect of recovery, not many videos talk about that.
The USA has a terrible mother baby system.
Meep Sings how so? Just wondering?
Anna Marllyn they are too quick to send women home. Units get packed and you can sent home after 1 day. Some hospitals don't even take time out to let mom and baby bond after being born. They're taken and washed and poked and prodded. Some moms don't get adequate lactation education and consult. It's a very rough first week all focused on time and money instead of mom and baby.
Meep Sings thank you for response 😀 That's just wrong, especially after having a baby. I gave birth in a hospital where I bugged my doctor to let me go home that's why I was curious.
It depends on where you go to deliver baby. My friend stayed a little over a week in the hospital while dealing with tearing and other issues that came up.
That's what I thought when I watched the video. All of the symptoms Jenn described are discussed in detail before the birth of the baby where I live....
Jen, thank you so much for sharing this! I've cried a bit during watching it because you are so honest and open.
Thank you so much for sharing this with your viewers! For girls and young women watching this video, it's so important to know what is potentially waiting ahead and how to prepare for it. I can't imagine what emotional struggle you've experienced, but I think you are so brave to manage going through this and telling your story.
I think most of women go through these kind of emotions. It gets better! The years go by and these feelings will feel so far away. You do get a new sense of appreciation for your body.
never heard anyone talking so honestly about this topic.thank you so much for your honesty.and i am so sorry for the pain you've been trough.
Jen! Thanks so much for sharing. I had a similar experience giving birth to my first daughter and had a hard recovery afterwards. But let me tell you, my 2nd daughter was born and it was SO MUCH EASIER (the labor and recovery process). Thanks for being so brave to share and I hope and pray that your next labor and recovery will go more smoothly for you!
Thank you for having the courage to share your experience. I really appreciate the fact that you were real and honest about everything. And for saying what was positive about your experience in the mix of it all. SO many people either stay on the negative side and scare the crap out of you or make it so positive that it feels unrealistic. Thank you again. :)
As a medical student, it's heartbreaking to hear that you went through this without the proper support from physicians! Don't ever feel alone going through this- I've seen SO MANY women with traumatic deliveries, complications from urinary retention to bowel incontinence to post-partum psychosis. Pregnancy CAN be terrifying, and society doesn't every talk about it enough. There is a whole subspecialty of medicine called Urogynecology, which are surgeons who are specialized in female pelvic anatomy and all of the issues you've had to deal with, so it's truly not something you're suffering through alone.
I'm so sorry you've dealt with this! I can't believe you were discharged only 24 hours after labor. I spent 3 days at the hospital for each of my daughter's labors in Ohio. That is terrible. And then trying to confide in your pediatrician to get help was terrible. That is not okay.
Aw, Jen. I'm glad you shared your story. You are definately a strong, beautiful person.
Thank you so much for posting this. I'm due in December. Thank you for not sugar coating it, being real and raw.! I and I'm sure a lot of other people out there appreciate it! Xx
Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry you had such a hard time though. I think the difficulties we go through postpartum should be discussed more openly, so we don't feel so alone. My son was breech so had to be born via csection. I was allergic to the medical tape they put over my incision and hips and they itched so badly and i got blisters that scarred. The scarring didn't heal until a year later. My son is 2 now and my scar and hips where the tape was still itch sometimes and i still can't wear anything too tight if it'll press against my scar. The first few months were tough too. Moving at all was so painful and if a car ride was too bumpy, it hurt so much that i cried. on top of that, i had ppd and also groin pain throughout the entire pregnancy that eventually made even walking painful xD but weirdly, it is all worth it. I love my son so much and we do want a second child....but that's it! No more after that xD
You're the best!!! Aria is lucky to have you as her mommy:)))
Thank you for your transparency and honesty...Im so happy that you found a Dr at urgent care that had empathy and really cared what you were going through...I'm glad that you healed from your experience💙
I definitely appreciate being a woman more. You're amazing
O no, you know in France where I live you stay 3 days in the hospital ( if everything is ok. If not longer) end everything for free
Misia B same in Spain! And they check the mom as well as the baby the following days to labor. It's crazy to me that they release you in just one day with that severe tearing :(
Misia B I stayed for 1 week because i had a C section. The people in the hospital always checked on me and my baby to the point that i thought they were bothersome. But hearing the story of Jen, I'm glad that i gave birth in France.
I feel so bad for people in America .. in Canada you stay 2 / 3 days maybe longer if needed and you have a public health nurse and lactation consultants at your call any time of any day. And it's all free !!!
Isla Hart me to. One week
I'm from Canada and I had a normal vaginal delivery and we only got to stay 24hrs...
I had 2nd degree tearing and they made me get up right after I delivered and try to use the bathroom to pee. Then got into a wheelchair at 2am to move to postpartum unit. At 6am they told me to get up and try to pee again (which thankfully I did) and to go for walk. Since my deliver was close to midnight I stayed one more night but damn the pain not to mention the horrible experience of breastfeeding. It was a crazy experience but yes also a beautiful miracle. Thank you for sharing your story! Your family is beautiful!
Videos like this are sorely needed!! There's so much that people don't want to talk about when it comes to motherhood...but women need this information, and men can benefit from learning more about what moms go through. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you so much for this! I'm about 6 months pregnant and I've been watching labor stories, trying to get some insight into what to expect or "try" to prepare for mentally and physically. I love that this was so raw. Thank you for this
This seems to be a very common occurence worldwide. I didn't tear but needed an episiotomy, also discharged very quickly - 11hrs post delivery. I had significant bruising and a haematoma... at my 6week check my GP (family physician) also said 'oh god..please leave intercourse for a few weeks ok??' I just sort of accepted it but watching your video has sort of put it in words how upset I had been.. but 8months in now and feeling a little better about myself.