This is a SCHOOL PROJECT??? Its insane the level of craftsmanship you put into this video, and I’m bewildered that it was originally intended for school.
@@Synthanicmusic my aunt passed from the same thing. It's scary because at the time she passed, I was (unbeknown to me) nearing the end of my 2 year drinking binder. It's sad... Those that couldn't kick the alcohol are suffering, much like I was when I was dependent on it. I hope your father is resting in peace.
this lits a little to close ase someone who has "lost" someone to dementian. they're technically dead, but they are about as close as you can get while breathing.
my nana has dementia. i went to go visit her last weekend, and within an hour, she asked me a few times what grade i was in and when id go to highschool. i had to keep reminding her that im 22 and am in college, and shed keep apologizing saying "im getting a little forgetful". its a horrible thing, not just for the victim, but for everyone who knows them.
its ok, yknow? well, its not ok, but... ive made my peace with it. and shes still lucid enough to hold conversations, so i still have a little while left with her. im sorry for making you tear up though
@@standardhuman8675 I'm glad you made me feel emotion. These days living is very hard for me and things like this remind me of the power of living. I didn't mean to make you feel bad for anything I just related to the emotions you feel because my grandfather had a bout with kidney failure and dementia before his death. It was rough.
My father has Parkinson's, per the project, he's in the middle of stage 3. He confuses dreams with reality sometimes and it's hard for him to socialize. When we talk about the things he was good at, he's sharp and focused. If you introduce any new topics, he has a difficult time keeping up in conversation. He writes in a diary, that he lets me read, so I have something from him when he's gone. The most disturbing excerpt has kept me awake at night sometimes. "No one tells you when or how the roller coaster of life ends. Some people are fortunate to get an expedient end to their ride. Some people have a short exciting thriller, others a meek and mild one. But for me, I must ride it into the depths where memories will eternally be on the tip of my tongue. The rot will dehumanize me, a breathing coffin I am to become. Will I forget that my roller coaster was slowly falling apart or will I remember the ride at all? I hope to find my mother and father in that place, even if I can't remember who they are."
I lost my father to Parkinson's with Dementia when he was 64 yo. That was the end of a 6 year struggle with the steady erosion of cognizance, motor skills, dignity in general. It's strange to watch your hero waste away. As a brooding young man my default coping mindset was to be angry at him. Surely this was something he had done to himself. This doesn't happen to people in their 50s. I distanced myself from him. It wasn't look down upon, as I was at the point in my life where I was forging my path and forward ambition was looked upon as a good thing. By the time I circled back, I was both humbled and gutted by the deteriorating effects of a mere 18 months. At that point, we spent time together but it wasn't him anymore. Confusion quickly gave way to frustration more times than not. What appeared to be no more than a detached existence staring off into space proved to be a contemplative mind locked behind a perpetually hangdog mask whenever he chose to be present enough to affirm it. Those times got fewer and farther between. He was the oldest of a large family and his next youngest sibling, a brother, followed him two years later with the same diagnosis same symptoms. While they were alive, there was a study done and it was determined that a well that's their parents drank from and gave them water from had a dangerously high level of aluminum in the water. By the time the third child in the family was born, they they had built a new home on the same farm and dug a new well. But that level of exposure in the early developmental years was enough. At this time I was told that it probably isn't genetic. It was a relief for me to hear because I am his oldest son. Since it is a degenerative, terminal illness, I have always been cognizant of my physical and mental state and whether or not it felt like it was in Decline. Over the last two years moments I started noticing moments of detachment. In the last six months I have noticed slight but undeniable memory loss and moments of attachment. In reality right now, it feels like a decline in cognitive functtion in the last four months . I have noticed a slight but uncontrollable tremor at times in my left hand. at times in my left hand. I'm in my early 40s.
There's also something called "terminal lucidity" or something like that where, before the patient dies, remembers anything, literally anything, like they don't even have dementia anymore, but they don't even have the time to actually realize anything that they're already dead. What a horrifying mental illness. Great perspective anyway, I think you pretty much nailed the meaning of EATEOT.
@@zbndtt I would love to see it, you earned a subscriber, anyway I found out that someone can die even one month after having terminal lucidity, it's still a bittersweet thing tho.
The most iconic song in the whole project, "It's just a burning memory", is actually a slowed, no lyrics version of the song "Heartaches", by Al Bowlly, which in my opinion is very meaningful as it is the first song in the whole project and I think it represents an elderly person trying to remember music from their time.
I don't know if I will ever have the mental fortitude to endure these albums. Just listening to the first song and knowing what is about breaks my soul to pieces.
It's hard. I put it on in the background while I was moving around my apartment for a couple days, and I _forced_ myself to finish it. I then proceeded to have mild panic reactions to any sound that reminded me of it for a month or two. While it's a completely unique (for the fortunate) experience, it is not one you need to have, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Simply knowing that it exists is enough.
@@TimeLemur6definetely. I tried to listen to it once but I just-- couldn't. Not even one song, it's genuinely terrifying how powerful it's effects are
@@TheSpadeStealer_98 that's definitely a dangerous conjecture... someone with a pre-existing mental disease/disorder like clinical depression and anxiety would definitely get a more intense and threatening reaction from it. Honestly, the first song haunts me enough and I'm building the strength to listen more (and honestly planning on making my friends listen to it with me).
Dude, your video... despite having been a school project, I can tell you truly understand the concept and meaning of the album, this is the best video that I've seen so far explaining "everywhere at the end of time"
i do like the idea of the hell sirens representing sundown syndrome. they actually appear multiple times later on in the album. it hammers in the idea of defeat, with them sounding less and less threatening as the album progresses. it's the development of apathy that i think is shown by this, as the patient no longer cares about expressing their fear. they just...accept it.
I'm happy my grandfather didn't go further than stage 3 of dementia, his last months of his life was extremely peaceful and he died in his sleep. I miss him so much.
I listened to Everywhere at the End of Time while attempting an all-nighter. I stayed awake until the middle of stage four and woke up in stage six. One of the most disorienting things I've ever done to myself
9:47 - I can see an additional interpretation of the cover of Stage 4. Note that the bust of the person is facing away, with their head slightly bowed. Since Prosopagnosia, a difficulty or inability to recognise faces, including those of people the sufferer may know very well, or even love, is a common symptom in numerous neurodegenerative disorders, it could be that here is where the patient has lost the ability to remember their loved ones standing before them. The identities of the people visiting the patient might as well have been erased - to the patient, all they see is a stranger, looking on with an increasing sense of despair.
That's a good interpretation.I also think that the back of the head and hair are more distorted because the patient focuses to remember them by their face.
Ive had a single experience with Prosopagnosia. It was back in my youth while i had consumed a gram of psychedelic mushrooms and i boarded a bus where my friend had entered before me while i was paying the bus fare. After i got done paying my ticket, i couldnt tell where my friend was sitting since everyones faces looked the same. I didnt remember what clothing my friend was wearing and I couldnt just stand in the middle of the bus looking like a complete fool in the midst of the rest of the "normal" people, so i decided to play it cool and pretend to be "normal". I proceeded to walk at the back of the bus like i knew that was the destination where i was supposed to go, until my friend grabbed me from the arm asking me where the hell i am going. That experience lasted propably the maximum of 10 seconds for me, propably even less, yet it was still horrifyingly long. The horrifying part is the realisation that you are unable to perform a simple autonomic task, such as sitting next to your friend due to such a small thing as not being able to read people's faces anymore. All this going through your head while you are pretending to be normal to other people. Its hard to imagine how hellish life can be if disease causes this to you and just keeps getting worse and worse.
i have been dealing a lot with amnesia, and EATEOT really captured the feeling that amnesia brings. everything is so familiar but something is still off. it has comforted me through these hard times and i keep coming back to it. it's an amazing piece, i love it.
that is so interesting. i’ve always though abt how comparable eateot is to dementia (and things related to dementia) so idk this is just a super thought provoking comment lol
@@zbndtt The feeling of confusion and repeatness, the happiness that comes from emptyness is certainly on point, imo. my brain keeps repeating the songs on the album and it's normally these 7-second loops of one part of one song, but i keep forgetting the melodies, i don't know the name of the songs, and each time my brain is stuck with one, i can't remember how another melody sounds like. and being so empty it's happy is a very weird feeling, it's kinda like this manic nihilistic state of mind where you're just so tired of feeling everything at once, the confusion, the loss, the everything, and it's just. calm for once. I myself am working on an album inspired by EATEOT about my own experiences, because i honestly need a way to express this weird state of being i'm experiencing in a way that other people can understand. it's really amazing how music and just art in general can express so much yet showing so little... that's one of the reasons art is just my favorite thing, it's the basis of humanity.
@@michoislost i still have such a hard time wrapping my head around that concept it’s just so unsettling to me. i talked abt it in the video with a lot of assumptions cause it’s kind of a hard topic to do any real research on so lmk if i misrepresented it in any way. and i’m definitely gonna have to listen to your album when it’s done - knowing you have a firsthand experience with amnesia will add so much meaning
My Grandmother is a stage 6 patient, and I visit her about once a week. When I go, she just stays still, not thinking, not moving, trapped in the fog of dementia. she can't move at all. She just watches me talk to her. Not listening at all, because she can't listen, she forgot how. She is almost like a living corpse, still breathing and alive, but not moving or making a peep. I'll update if she dies, because she probably will in a couple weeks or so. Update: She died about a month ago as of 8/9/2022, sorry I didn't update sooner.
@@browniemeister1208 I forgot to update, but she died about a month ago. I wasn't too sad, as I had kind of forgotten who she was after she got the disease. What a horrible thing
this album gave me existential dread for like a whole week fearing alzheimers and other things relating to dementia, i had a nightmare where i was old and my mother was there but her hair was gray and had no face was crying. some doctor told me bad news, i can't really remember but i just wanted it to stop and i woke up with tears.
This actually makes me sad. The day before my grandmother died of dementia, we went to visit her and we actually made her laugh. Now I'm not sure if she passed away in stage 5 and still understood what we said, or that she didnt understand anything of what we said at all because she was in stage 6.
@Francisca Santos I don't even know how to react to that. I have been watching too many eateot videos and I'm basically emotionless now. Sorry for ur loss ig
The first time I heard Everywhere at the end of time, my grandma was on Stage 2, a bit of confusion, forgetting if she ate or not, not remembering what day it was, etc. Now she is on stage 3, and it's quite scary, she gets angry at us for trying ti take care of her, she's violent, and barely remembers things from 5 minutes ago. Your school project actually is helping me understand it more, thank you for the amazing work
@@AdmiralAutismo hey, thanks for asking! My grandma is still around stage 3 but she was still very agressive towards me and my mom, so we talked with my uncle and his family and they decided to take care of her since they're on a better position. And me and my mom moved out to our own apartment. We still talk to her at least once a week, and I'm glad her health hasn't deteriorated yet, since now my uncle's wife is taking care that she takes her meds and brings her more company than us since we were usually working outside of home 😊
@@spaceorsaturn hi! Didn't know someone would ask for an update 😅 Well, my mom and I stopped living with her around September, because my grandma became too violent against us, but my grandma is living with my uncle (her son) and his gf who is a certified nurse, and they are taking care of her! They tell us about her status and she seems fine for the moment. Thankfully she is still living as normal, even tho her memory hasn't gone better, but she's healthy for a 84 year old 😊
id think of it as: stage 1: unnoticable fear stage 2: noticable sadness of mind stage 3: realization kicks in stage 4: unable of thinking stage 5: your time in isolation stage 6: true end of time
could genuinely listen to you talk for hours. the way you talk about these sensitive topics makes them so clear and easy to understand, and the visuals only drive the point home thank you for making this
I have seizures. One type of seizure I used to have more commonly was absent minded seizures. This was when my mind felt like it would go into total reboot and I wouldn't know anything, only my five senses were still available such as sight and hearing. When people try to interact with me I am unable to give a proper response until I snap back with my thoughts fully intact. I can honestly say I have dived into dimentia and can tell you just how empty it feels.
I once had seizures that i would start to lose the ability to think, like i was drowing i my own conscience the only thing remaining was fear. Plus i couldnt see even my vision was incomprehensible. It was... Horrifing
@@oneosix106decena 🤦♀bruh, like trust me, whatever type of dementia they have, Alzhemiers, it takes a long time, Lewy body, it takes like atleast 5 years, etc.
Thinking about dementia hits so much different after a loved one is diagnosed. My grandma isn’t even into the later stages (she was diagnosed recently) but this video still made me cry a little when before it wouldn’t have affected me at all. Good job on this bro. That last line hit really hard.
Make sure you make the most of your time with her at this stage, even when she gets into those challenging stages.Its hard to want to face the fact your loved one is forgetting. And they are forgetting you. I find those little moments matter most. When I could see my Grandma much more often we would put on her favourite songs from back in the day and she would smile and dance. We lived in the moment. Sure we were in her purple carpeted small care home room but it didnt feel that way. I havent seen her in a while so Im not too sure how well she really is-only news from my family and the dementia care home. Good luck to you,your family and Grandma's journey and cherish whatever you can.
@@AllmightyGigachad yes, in fact the life expectancy for Lewy body is about 5-6 years. As far as I know there’s no cure for Alzheimer’s or any form of dementia
This reminds me so much of my grandmother, how she got dementia and it led to her slow dimise, how she went from going to acting as she normally would, forgetting some words to being unable to walk and only speaking a few words. I thank you very much for bring light to dementia and the process the person feels, it’s reminded me of what my grandmothers gone through ❤
My grandmother started showing signs of dementia in mid-2020, right at the height of the Covid lockdown. I believe my she is currently in stage 4. She has had dementia for nearly two years now, so it really drags out and is very scary to watch. I found Everywhere at the End of Time in early 2021 and listened to the full album in one sitting on May 1, 2021 (coincidentally right before this video came out). The album gave me a whole new perspective of the world, and you couldn't have explained what it feels like to listen to it any better. As soon as I listened to it, I made the promise to myself that I would capture and save all the simple parts of life. I've found many hard drives of family and childhood memories that I now have stored in a massive personal archive. Because of this, I've delved into the art of liminal spaces and the strange aspects of memory. I've also begun to listen to Lofi, a peaceful and meditative genre of music that puts you into the current moment. I personally feel that, in a secular way to say it, the meaning of life is to experience life itself. It is to make memories and feel nostalgia. It is to be aware of existence. It is so see; to smell; to touch; to learn, to know; to remember. My grandmother is still alive, and I will cherish every moment I have with her, no matter how frustrating her dementia can be. I have promised myself that when she does pass, whenever that may be, I will listen to the entirety of Everywhere at the End of Time once again. Thank you for making this video. It is very well done. I would like to award you the highest honor I can bestow: an addition to my TH-cam "Memories" playlist. Update 2024-01-04: My grandmother passed away about 3 weeks ago. I and the rest of the family were by her side. Today, I fulfilled my promise of listening to Everywhere at the End of Time once again. Three years of taking care of her. 40 months to the day. It is finished. God bless ❤
I also have (or, had, more accurately) family members with dementia. I feel like I "should" listen to the project because I've been with people that this music is about, but at the same time feel like I'll be wrecked because of it. I need to get some food and listen to this in one go, it feel like the right thing to do.
"I have promised myself that when she does pass, whenever that may be, I will listen to the entirety of Everywhere at the End of Time once again" - I literally just cried at this concept 😭
A school project??? That was incredible! Your writing and analysis was phenomenal and your editing of the stock footage accented it perfectly. If you choose to make more content I would watch in a heartbeat!
I forgor 💀 On a serious note, the "losing ability to express there identity" is extremely saddening. Knowing that they are still a person, have a personality, have their own thoughts and memories and experiences with others, but now they cant remember most of that, unable to express it, they arent a dying husk. They are a full being without the ability to express themselves properly even in their own mind
I have a friend who was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzeheimer's this year at the age of 36 and he's been trying to get surgeries and medication to remedy/slow it down, he knows his lifespan is now much shorter than previously thought and he's very depressed over it. He's had really bad luck his entire life and it sucks that this bad luck will never go away, apparently. I mean, hell, recently, as of the past few years, his ex dumped him and spread false rumours about him doing unspeakable things to her and abusing her which turned all his friends and family against him. It's sad because he has never harmed a person and he's super gentle and sweet.
THIS WAS A SCHOOL PROJECT?! if you put this much effort into a school project it just shows your passion for this album and your philosophical speech and metaphorical topics are just so inspiring and I’ve never felt this way watching a video and you were just explaining the main piece so I can only imagine how the actual album itself makes me feel.
A comment by "Too much mustard" under the 6h video: Some useful info about the album: A1, "It's just a burning memory" repeats many times through the stages, becoming more and more distorted and lost. The crackling heard throughout the entire album is meant to symbolize plaque gradually building up in the brain. The Stage 3 album cover is supposed to resemble brain synapses. The Stage 6 album cover resembles the back of a painting, saying that whatever meaning was there, is now imperceptible to you anymore. Of course, you don't know that. You've already forgotten. i dont want to take credit for this but i think this is very important and i would like for more people to hear about this
I'm always so happy whenever I come across a new review or reaction video of EATEOT. I've been obsessed with this project since last fall when I first heard it. My fascination with it continues to grow. Thank you for your analysis of EATEOT. This is one of the best reviews I've seen. I like the way you discuss what to expect in dementia patients at each stage, and the comments from your caregiver friend about stage 5 patients "still being there" inside but unable to express themselves is really fascinating. In a way, it does make it more horrifying that they're a lot more aware than we think they are, but are trapped inside themselves, unable to make their thoughts, feelings and needs known to others. But at the same time, if they're still there inside, they haven't really been lost. Fantastic interpretation of the stage 6 cover art. Your summary of the whole project at the end is poetic and beautiful. You're the first person I've seen give a coherent explanation for what "everywhere at the end of time" refers to. All in all, I loved it. You have really done your research and given this a lot of thought. Great job! May the ballroom remain eternal.
TW: this is my personal experience with my Grandpa having dementia. There was never really a time I can remember him not having it. He was still ok when I was a baby because there’s pictures of him holding me and pushing me on the swing. Then when I was about 4 or 5, his house had become basically a hoarder house. It was all cramped with papers and random things and his 4 dogs that would just pee and crap all over his house which was really sad because he had loved those dogs but was just unable to care for them at that point so we had to give them away and keep one. I know his car had also been gone for some years at that point because he couldn’t drive anymore so we had to put him in a nursing home. The first one was horrible because nurses would take advantage of his disease by stealing from him. We noticed the gifts we got him had disappeared like a gold watch and an MP3 player with all his favorite songs on it(this was especially upsetting because music is one of the only things that can bring them joy) After that we moved him to a nicer veterans home but it didn’t really matter because he couldn’t enjoy life. He couldn’t walk, he had to wear diapers, he was pretty much always in a comatose state but he did have brief moments of clarity where he recognized my aunt and was happy to see her. But a lot of times the moments of clarity were just more horrible than before because he realized where he was and would start crying or saying he wanted to kill himself. He never recognized me as his granddaughter, he called Carol one time but I’m not sure if he was referring to my aunt or my mother because both of them are named Carol. My aunt would see him at least once a week for the last decade of his life in the Veteran hospital and my grandma did too even though they had been divorced for many years and he was always happy to see them. One of the saddest experiences I ever had was when I went with my dad to see him in one of the final years of his life. My dad never visited even for years because he couldn’t emotionally handle seeing his father like that so when we went to see him, my grandpa didn’t recognize him. He thought my dad was my grandpa’s brother and when my dad told him no I’m your son, he claimed to not have a son. My dad started crying when he said that and that was the first time I ever seen my dad cry. My grandpa died when I was 18 and everyone was almost at peace because he didn’t have to suffer anymore from this terrifying disease. He was only 78 which means for more than the last ten years of his life, he had dementia. I always wished I could of gotten to know him when he was well. From all accounts my Grandpa used to be a very smart man. He built airplanes and cars and boats and he was in the Korean War as an airplane mechanic. He was a gentleman and would always give my mother flowers from his garden. Him and my dad were very close before he got sick and I know it sounds horrible that my dad refused to see him for so many years but he just couldn’t handle it which I understand. Now that he’s dead I want to try to honor his memory by donating every time I can to finding a cure so no one has to go what he went through. It’s scary because my grandma had started to get it too in her old age but she passed away last year before it got to the late stages. She got to keep her house and at least some form of freedom until the last few months of her life. She was 85. I really hope me or my dad don’t get it. R.I.P. Grandpa and Nanny ❤️💐 You’ll never be forgotten and I love you
I remember finishing stage two and half of stage three when I decided to listen to it while eating, and I noticed my hands were shaking and my heart was beating kind of hard like I was having a panic attack. I didn't even notice it. It was really weird, because I would have noticed it, but my body just did it on its own. Well something did happen that morning that was kind of stressful so maybe that was it, who knows though? Also when stage four came on, it was so perfect with the part of the book that I was reading because, the scene was the main character forced in a nightmare that brought him in his past that he particularly longed for, so when he woke up he was crying knowing full well that he could never reach that special place again.
I once had the entire album playing in my ears during a nights sleep. Just like how the album its self is really confusing to explain, the nightmares/dreams i had that night seemed to follow a similar pattern of getting more and more unsensical until i woke up and forgot everything except the feeling
@@copilopi3104 i’m not quite sure why you’re scolding me… i understand that one forgets dreams, and i understand when. it’s quite literally stated in the original comment that the dreams are forgotten. my second comment was just stating that i couldn’t potentially ruin my weekday with bad sleep. i suppose that you were dropped, and now simply repeat whatever you have learned to random people at seemingly random times.
I like to listen to music or random horror stories on TH-cam as I make illustrations. One day I stumbled upon this six hour album and thought "okay, six hours, let's be productive" and started working. Came out crying really badly thinking about how I don't want any of my loved ones to be gone. My fear for death bubbled up a lot more. Started thinking lot of stuff I never thought about. About grief, about loss, about this condition that dementia is, the way it just breaks the way you see your life. About how lonely it would be to have dementia and can't even explain what's happenning with you. To all of you who have relatives with this or actually suffer from dementia on early ages, keep strong. Thank you for the analysis zaza!
I’ve meet someone who had dementia before, my great grandmother. She was in a home, and when I met her, her husband was sent into the home just a few days before. she seemed to be trapped in a memory she had during high school where she was getting ready for prom and she asked me if I had some red lipstick as it would go well with her dress. If we said anything unrelated, or sometimes in general, she seemed to not hear us despite nothing not actually being wrong with her hearing. The nurses mentioned to us that when her husband was in the home that she was screaming out his name the whole night, until her throat hurt. The thing is, they couldn’t tell if she remembered his name or if it was because they had met in high school. I don’t know what stage she was at, but definitely enough where you know there’s no denying that somethings horribly wrong. Her husband died a few weeks later, and her a year. That was the first and last time I had met her, and I had grown up hearing stories about a wonderful woman, and it was horrifying seeing what happened to her.
You deserve more subscribers then what you have. The production quality of the video is phenomenal! You explain each stage in your own opinion, with detail and personality. My grandfather had late stage dementia, he passed away recently. I can refer to a lot of your statements as true to how he felt while he was still alive and well. I wish the TH-cam recommendation algorithm blesses you with views.
its super crazy knowing you can reference what i said back to your own situation. really appreciate this comment and hope you're dealing with the loss okay :)
I think one of the worst parts about this disease is that you always think you have time, that you're not old enough yet. Until, you have it, and there's no way to go back or to stop what's coming.
At one point, me, my parents, their parents, and my great grandma all lived in the same home whilst my grandma took care of her. I helped out sometimes. I practically grew up with her, and I witnessed her decline and struggle with dementia. Thankfully, she was always very sweet. Though it’s heartbreaking in retrospect. I remember how she slowly declined, probably within 6 years. What breaks my heart is my grandma has signs of it too, and knew throughout taking care of her that.. she would most likely face the same thing. I remember how she stopped being able to go to the bathroom alone. Then get dressed. Then she needed to be fed. It was a slow domino effect, after one thing went it was only a matter of time until the next. She died around 2018-2019, though she lived to 106, and i still miss her, yet I hardly remember who I miss. I’m just thankful she’s not suffering any more.
If I’m ever diagnosed with dementia I promise you it going out on my own terms. I couldn’t live through something so lonely and horrifying. This is an auditory representation of dementia, but a visual version of dementia to me would be a maze the gets darker the further you go into it, and even if you walk backwards the maze changes when you don’t look at it. To the point where you are too tired to find an exit so you just curl up into a ball and cry till you die to starvation.
Everyone thinks this, so few succeed. The horror of dementia is that by the time you realize you are doomed to suffer such a fate it's already silently eroded much of your will and capacity to do anything about it. You have to act long before you feel like the symptoms have progressed enough to warrant taking action. This is how it traps you. Be warned, I have watched dementia take many loved ones and likely one day myself and the one thing they all had in common is they got trapped riding it out to the gruesome end. None ended it on thier own terms despite declaring such when they were young and well were the situation ever to arise.
Write a living will. Dementia will rob you of the decision. Write it while you have the capacity to make the decision, the same way that people write living wills with a clause for being taken off life support if they go into a coma.
My grandmother has dementia. This is the first time I've finally understood the concept of dementia, thanks to this project. Truly amazing and heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing it with us.
everywhere at the end of time has made me afraid of becoming old, I know that it is a part of life but I don't want it to be. getting dementia is one of my biggest fears, I don't want to forget anything. I want to remember the happy and sad moments of life but it will all come to an end and I know that.
I hope you got full marks on this assignment. This analysis was so mature and insightful, touching upon ideas that others on TH-cam have not. The visuals are haunting, and the script is so well-written.
I listened to the "lucidity stages" (1-3) thinking it can't be so bad. I was so so wrong and I'm only at stage 4. The concept of the few and far between thoughts at stage 5 is the most terrifying to me. The fact that this person's only source of comfort is the thing they've been dreading and the thing that's killing them is so strangely scary and sad.
I can't stop watching this. The fact that the video feed is getting distorted at the same rate that the stages he's talking about, is amazing and only adds to the analysis. Great job and amazing research.
A 20 minute long back-to-back goosebump-inducing commentary that ends on the very last sentence with an idea that made, literally, *every* hair in my body straighten out like razors. Every act that you covered you did with such care, attention to detail, respect and creativity that even I who's listened to EATEOT and a bunch of other of Kirby's works learned so much. Dude that last sentence alone is gonna stick with me until I die. Great video.
As someone who grew up with brain damage (head injury from a very young age) I felt like the statement that "it takes away your ability to express your identity and not your identity itself" hits really close to home. I still think like everyone else. My internal monologue is completely intact, but the moment that translates into something like speaking it becomes insanely difficult. (It's a big reason why a lot of Neurodivergent people treat their brain like a seperate entity. "Sorry that was my brain just being stupid", "My fucking brain's keeping me awake", etc.) How I choose to discribe it is: think you're driving a car. You know how to drive just like everyone else, but your car is broken in whatever way. Your steering wheel isn't quite aligned, the breaks only work on one side, the engine keeps stopping, whatever the point is it's not quite functional. But you're stuck with it, and have to work around it. That's what it's like (for me) to live with brain damage. Of course there's probably smarter people with way better metaphors out there lmao
"At the end of this person's time, their impact is given a new meaning. And their impact is everywhere. They are everywhere at the end of time." is genuinely such a crazy bar it made me gasp out loud fr
Been obsessed with this album for a few years, and I’m always trying to explain the way I feel to others about it … My friend, you have successfully expressed my feelings on the matter. Thank you.
What you say at the end brought tears to my eyes. The first time I've ever heard someone define the meaning of the title "Everywhere at the end of time" so beautifully and coherently. 💗 A superb presentation! I hope you got an A for this. Cool how you also created this background video to back up your presentation instead of just showing the paintings used in the project. Nice to see that "Glimpses of hope in trying times" was your favourite in Stage 2, too. It's my second favourite song in the entire project after "The way ahead feels lonely". Many people just call it scary so I like that's it's getting love from others, too.
If I ever found out I was developing dementia I get assisted suicide I'd rather die knowing who I am and who my friends and family are rather than solely forget and go crazy
Dimentia runs in my grandma's side. She currently has it and her 2 other sister died from it and so did her mother. There's not a week that goes by that I don't think about it and I'd rather die than to go through what she did. I've told my wife if I ever get it to take me to the woods like an unwanted dog.
Y’know- it’s funny. I did a school project about Dementia too, in English. My teacher gave us a series of topics, and books correlating to those topics. When I found both the topic, and a book that somewhat connects to Dementia, I immediately went for it, mostly due to EATEOT. After reading the book, we had to make a presentation, in the form of a tv. Not only that, we had to actually go advocate for the thing we were supporting (I.E, if you’re talking about animal neglect/abuse, go to an animal shelter to help out or something.) For me? I had to go all the way to Green Bay to visit a seniors home, and give specifically Dementia patients gift baskets. I can give you some details that I remember: any woman I saw, they had a bunch of baby dolls. Some wanted the extra baby doll that was in the basket, and some didn’t. I don’t remember *why* they had so many. Maybe it was just for the nostalgia of being younger and having children. I saw a man wandering in the halls. We gave him a basket. (Also- quick note, we gender-coded the baskets, so men got blue baskets and women had pink baskets.) We *were* going to visit a guy in his room, but… I don’t know if he was asleep, or- dead or something, but we couldn’t really do that. I saw a woman in a wheelchair, being brought to tears by… something. I can’t really remember what it was, I remember she had a jacket. Maybe she was having trouble getting it on, or off. It- gave me a silent disturbance, but I wouldn’t let that be known to anyone else. I’ve always had a habit of hiding behind a mask of security. Fun fact: the woman we were following, was a worker that specifically dealt with giving the patients of Dementia a comfortable death. I can’t remember the actual title of that kind of worker. But despite her seemingly pretty happy, and up-beat, I had this feeling she was.. she felt bad, specifically when she told us about her purpose as a worker in that facility. I sensed she was somewhat hurt. But I could be wrong. Maybe I’m just too empathetic. When me and Mom left, and drove back to my Nana’s house (which is in Green Bay), I decided to listen to some music. First thing I listened to was parts of EATEOT’s Stage 1. It made me reflect a little. I wouldn’t say this experience was traumatic, but it was… unnerving.
The baby doll thing is something I've noticed in a lot of old folks homes. I've been to retirement homes a lot at varying ages, and as a child the old women there were very sweet but weirdly touchy. I think they give baby dolls and stuffed toys to old women because most of them had children at some point, and are nostalgic for being a mother. And after a while of dementia you start to forget what era of your life you're in, so eventually many of them think they are still the mother of a baby and become distressed when they can't find their baby. So having a baby doll can provide comfort, because it gives them the feeling that they have the baby they think they still have with them and they can "take care" of it. I've learned that a bunch of dementia care is basically like improv, so like if a woman with dementia is upset she can't find her baby, you don't say "your baby is 50 years old now" because they can't retain that information and it will confuse and distress them even more, so you say "oh don't worry he's right here" and hand her a baby doll. After a certain stage, it's counter productive to try and "snap them back to reality," because imagine going about your day today and someone you don't recognize says "actually your parents are dead and you're currently 90 years old in a retirement home." That's basically what's happening in the mind of someone with dementia. To them they are living in whatever part of their life their brain can remember, so to ease their anxiety it's better to pretend that they are the 25 year old mother of a newborn they think they are in that moment and that you are whoever they think you are in that moment. So the baby dolls are a part of that, they think they have a baby so you say "yes this is your baby." My dad's mom had Alzheimer's and she had a baby doll she'd carry around at the retirement home. In a similar vain my dad's dad had to be given fake paperwork to fill out at the retirement home, because he was a college president in the past which was a job that required a lot of paperwork, and he was distressed at the retirement home because he "needed to get his paperwork done." So instead of arguing they just gave him random fake paperwork to fill out, which made him happier. I honestly find it weirdly comforting that at a certain stage of dementia you just forget you have dementia, since it's probably really stressful knowing your mind is failing and after that point you don't really have to live with that stress anymore.
@@WasabiKitCat dementia is weird and we don’t know much about how the brain works, getting from “I’m forget”ing” to a point that you forget that you are forgetting is frightening
i'm a year late but this is some amazing work, man! i'd say this is more than just a school project at this point - hope you'll make more videos like this, it's both really well put together (visuals and script both) and interesting to listen to! My grandma just recently passed away and for the past 5 years she was taken over by dementia. It may sound weird but in a way it was interesting to see how she changed due to the disease - how she just kept forgetting things she did a minute ago at first, then after my grandpa died her deterioration got a little faster. Soon she'd start to forget our faces and mix us up with other family members who she hadn't met in years, she'd forget how many kids she had, other things like this. Then, later, she got more aggressive towards me - I'm a short person and to her I was probably just some random unknown troublemaking child who "didn't live there" (our house is conjoined, me and my fam live in the other house right next to hers). I remember two times when she took that aggression a bit too far in a way: she came at me with a broom one time, and started throwing walnuts fallen from the big walnut tree in her yard at me. That was the point when I think I knew she was just... not "herself" anymore, yknow? Because she never ever acted even just a little angry towards me before. Later, she had moments when she couldn't find or make up words because she didn't remember the correct words, but interestingly she was completely coherent until the end! For the last year she had to live in a nursing home for obvious reasons, but she was still smiling and cheerful, save for some moments of depression where she just... she just kept saying she wanted to die and that she doesn't want to live anymore (these moments happened even before she went to the nursing home and after my grandpa died so it was sort of a "ah, that mood again?" thing at this point). In the end, she was coherent but didn't remember anything about anything correctly. She'd make up things she did when my parents visited her and asked how she's doing, but never acted aggressive towards them. She later died in her sleep at the start of this month, at the age of 94. Seeing her deteriorate was... both interesting (even if saying this may sound bad), sad, and frightening at the same time. I remember how I wished for her "old self" to come back multiple times. I wanted to hear more of the stories she hadn't told me of her past, but I knew it was impossible at that point. I just regret not recording them when she was telling them... I'm just glad she's not suffering anymore...
Dude this is such a good video describing and analyzing this horrifically beautiful art piece. The fact that you even interviewed someone who cares for patients with Alzheimer's was so thoughtful and I haven't seen anyone else do something like that. I hope you can make more video essays like this some time later, your editing and scriptwork is actually pretty top notch for someone with such a small number of subscribers. Well done, all around.
One of your final conclusions made me think a lot. "Dementia doesnt take your identity away, rather, your expression." Perhaps that means that not all is lost. The concept im thinking of, is that people in late stages of dementia are still there. Its a bit like being locked in your mind. You can only think, and never interact with the outside world. You can think perfectly fine, but not do anything. Once you think about doing something it suddenly fails. Forever in a cage, where the only thing you have is your thought, all your memories, all your experiences, everything that happened in the past, its only when you try describe them to the outside world, that it suddenly fails. The only thing you have left beside thinking about the past, is to wait, for your inevitable death, the only key to this curious cage.
In some weird way, that idea is more comforting to me than the idea that the person actually loses their identity, because losing their expression of their identity means that the person is still there. It doesn’t frighten me as much as the idea of actually losing yourself. Not sure why.
@@alixstar11 I can see how that would be comforting, like by losing their identity, their soul is freed from the torture and what's left is an empty husk, still alive but soulless, so you don't need to worry about them anymore. It's not as comforting to think that their soul is still trapped and tortured inside their dying body. Smth like that idk I'm not all that religious
Excellent use of visuals for this breakdown. I listened to this album in it's entirety yesterday and I'm still reeling from it. Watching and listening to others talking about their experiences and interpretations is helping me digest it. I genuinely was not wholly prepared for the emotional impact of Everywhere at the End of Time.
This video lead me to the album and I think you got it spot on. It really does put you in a certain state of mind that you wouldn't be able to get just from reading up on dementia, although it might make you sad and empathetic. The entire album has so much thought put into it, even the parts that are barely music. The later stages have some random and muffled sounds, as if you're in a different room to everything around you happening, including your own thoughts. The album just makes you feel like you're getting further and further from not just the real world, but your own thoughts and memories of that world. Not only that, the feeling of being separate persists if you stop listening. I had to take a few breaks, and whenever I spoke to anyone I had to act as if I were in a normal state of mind, rather than the upset and sombre one the album had put me in. The fact is that no one else is going to understand unless they were also listening to it - because of the state it puts you in. Anyone can empathise with someone feeling upset at a sad song but you can't explain or relay seeing the world in a slightly different way. Everything in the project is incredibly well thought out and honestly I think essays of analysis could be written, but the best thing to do is just listen and understand as best you can.
2023 edit! HEY PLEASE DON'T PAY ANY MORE ATTENTION TO THIS COMMENT. TURNS OUT IT'S DISSASOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER. as someone young (15 years old mind you) suffering with memory loss, this analysis genuinely terrified me, and i haven't even listened to the album yet. the way you describe it is just so emotional, and i'm a huge underreactor, so realizing this genuinely impacted me enhanced the experience by a lot
i was 15 when you commented this too, and i too have memory loss, listening to this documentary genuinely made me re-think some things in life, i sometimes struggle to remember even the most minor details, what song was featured on this creepy tiktok video i watched? what did my friend wear yesterday? what did she eat? what did we do together? it scares me so badly, and i think this video has enhanced that, but it has also taught me to live in the moment and truly cherish something.
Same with me. I'm around 15 and suffer from memory loss. My family claims its ADHD/trauma I can't remember what I wore yesterday, I can't remember what I ate this morning, I can't remember to eat something, I can't remember where I am sometimes, I get lost constantly and I get confused on the simplest tasks aswell as struggling with remembering names. This video terrified me and when I looked deeper it scared me more. Doesn't help dementia runs in the family.
Absolutely brilliant analysis. There's truly something to be said about how this album is so relatable and personal without needing a single lyric. Drifting Time Misplaced from Stage 3 is probably the best example of that and I really think it's the most important track in the album. You can so closely feel the person's memory trying to hold onto the melody through repetition - but it only fades away into abstraction, and then is ultimately replaced by the most awful and tragic silence. It's a turning point and the mood of the entire album darkens afterwards like something incredibly important has been lost forever. It chills me every time I hear it
My Grandma is at stages between 4 and 5, we saw her yesterday te eat with my family, she appeared… confused, she wasn’t talking, not moving too much, needed someone to help her in every moves. She lives in a home specially for dementia patients, when she got there for the first ( in march ) she thought we were abandoning her, she called my dad and my aunt, screaming at them, saying that they were [ bad words that I don’t think I can say ]. When we visited her after one month, she had a crisis. We wanted to go on a walk with her, she said that if we didn’t brought her back to Paris ( that’s where she lived ) we could just go away. We insisted and she started screaming and crying, I went back downstairs because it scared me and I started crying. One of the lady that live here and that have stage 1 of dementia comforted me but it made me even worse because she’s aware, aware that she’ll end up like this or worse…
I found this album sometime in early 2020, before the pandemic started and life was pretty normal. I actually got used to using it as background music when I'm working on projects, because normal everyday music is very active and makes me think a lot, EATEOT kind of forces you to shut off and just be in the moment. I've probably listened to the entire thing almost 100 times at this point, and every time I end up hearing something new and thinking "I must have heard this before, but I don't remember it", and that's honestly one of the scariest parts of this album to me. Stage 4 is my favorite stage. It's the moment when the album truly reveals what its doing. I sit through the entire stage waiting for those Hell Sirens and think "Man, this is a lot longer then I thought it was, and that's scary" Maybe I just enjoy the fear. But for now I'm just glad I can remember what makes me afraid :)
Ewateot gave me a whole new perspective on dementia because my nans sister has it when when I use to visit her I didn’t know a whole lot about dementia but now when I visit her I can’t help but cry and when she passed on I felt so good for her because her suffering was over and she was finally put out of misery.
I’ve watched a lot of documentaries and reactions about this project, but this was probably my favorite out of them all! I never thought of dementia in the way you discussed it in the video, and it totally makes sense looking back on it though that point of view. I also love the visuals you had in the background, slowly deteriorating from cohesion to a jumbled mess to nothingness. Keep up the good work!
dude… this is an insane school project. you are incredible at explaining such topics while complementing it with masterful visual and audible presentation. i honestly think you would make a great content creator, i know for a fact id be happy to sub to your channel and watch it grow. im sure you landed an A+++ on this project and i bet you could amass a large number of subscribers on youtube with such quality content. masterfully done, bro
Getting dementia when I'm old is one of my biggest fears.. two of my four grandparents got it and it's just terrifying to me. They both remembered me to the end but it scares me to think of what their day to day life was like near the end.
love the stock footage of ss leviathan at 1:00, one of the nicest ocean liners on a real note, this video is so "poetic" (if you get what i mean), and made me really want to listen to this album. and the fact it was made for a school project is incredible
I'm not going to lie, This album changed my life in a big way. before this album I never gave too much thought on how bad dementia was, I never gave too much weight to my memories. but after this album, I understood a lot more, and I'm very scared of it, after many days of thinking I always get to the same solution: "If I get dementia, I'll kill myself before I forget what I am, and long before I forget I'm forgetting" at least like this, I'll die myself, instead of dying and leaving my body to suffer. dementia is like your soul leaving your body to suffer for a long time, just to come back at the last moment to make it feel at peace and to tell it you didn't leave it behind, it is coming with you to the afterlife. Honestly, I could write an infinite comment on how I feel, and yet I feel I'll never truly write what its like, and yet I feel in such a specific and strong way for something I never experienced (thank god, I hope I never will) one thing that I wonder about is... if someone you know has dementia, and they are on stage 2 what would be the right thing to do? make them die before they lose memories. let them live to the end? let them die on the next stage? on the 4th? kill them while they forget forgetting so they won't even know they died? I honestly want to write for so much longer but I'll stop here since I'll get repetitive and I'd just horror my self to not sleeping tonight
same story with me i learned about dementia with the memes you know but it's FAR more serious than i thought i watched video's about it including this video and album and cleared it everything for me about that topic my grandparents dont have it and im sure about that my grandma died but not from that my 90+ year old grandpa that's still alive remembers quite well good sign because it's not a disease that run's in the entire family and trust me if i was diagnosed with it I'd do the same as you
I've never really opened my eyes to dementia, never really wanted to. But the fact that this video gave me the awareness of what it is, what it feels like, and how it impacts the people around them, I don't know how to feel. Also the fact that this is a school project is mind blowing to me. I think this has got to be the best school project anyone has ever done.
Glad you got the stage six artwork right, with it being the space where a canvas/page should be. There's no work in progress, no finished piece - there isn't even a blank sheet. So there's not even anything left to call empty.
I am too emotionally connected to music. I fear listening to the album and never did for more than a few minutes. I never will any more. I am thankful I could get at least a slight understanding through this video rather than risking a meltdown. :)
i can't listen to this album alone, not when alzheimers and dementia runs in both sides of my family. maybe i'll end up listening to it with some dedicated and curious friends. but for now it stays untouched and unheard by me
no me too. one of the first pieces in stage 1 (forgot which) had this random drum set appear for like 2 secomds and holy crap it freaked me out so bad. i literally felt my mind go blank and it was only stage *1*. imma have to do the same as u and listen to this w someone else, theres no way in hell im doing it alone 😭🙏🙏
I'd always hesitated to listen to it because I know what it's about. However, I still went ahead and listened to it, but with a friend. What people usually don't tell you is that, it's not a good idea to listen to this series of albums if you're not in a good mental state. I'll also never listen to this series of albums alone.
This video put so much context around the album for me, thank you. I felt like I was missing out on the deeper meaning and now I understand and fully appreciate what the Caretaker has created.
I noticed how songs will repeat a certain part of the actual song, like how you actually remember things, you dont remember full days, you only remeber certain moments daily. Even then by the next year you'll probably forget them. It shows how this person is remembering close memories in stage 1, but stage 2 is the close memories that they don't remember quite well, and they dont know why. I think the songs from stage 1 appearing in stage 3-4 is showing how the thoughts of memories arent coherent, like they kind of remember the good times, but they just don't feel right. Like the memories are mixed up and dont feel like a personal experience.
I've always interpreted EatEoT as the gradual erosion of one's identity because of dementia. Essentially the death of the soul. People are shaped and made by experiences, we're all the same, but made different because of how we grew up. As those experiences are corrupted or erased by the disease, we slowly lose what made us what we are. Our brain will desperately try to maintain our sense of self by cobbling together what usable memories are left, with each stage resulting in a less and less perfect copy. As the brain slowly runs out of memories to use, the collective that made up our identity is slowly washed away, until the concept or idea that is "you" is gone. You no longer exist.
This is definitely one of the best reviews of this masterpiece of an album that I’ve ever seen. I love this old footage that you use throughout the video too. After I listened to the project I learned that my great grandfather who passed away had dementia which definitely made me appreciate the album more. It has such a unique concept and I’m thinking about listening to it again.
This video is really well done. This made me see dementia in a new, disturbing light. I never considered that it made you lose the ability to express yourself. Again, this video of yours is very well done. Great first video!
Today is the 1 year anniversary of my grandmothers passing and she had dementia in the last few years of her life. I don't remember the stage she had but she always seemed so happy on the surface but sometimes she would lose the mask and I could see that she was sad, confused, scared and just falling to pieces. I remember the first time I realized how terrible she was affected by it she was is when she forgot my name and that scared me. In the last month of her life cancer had eaten at her vigorously and she had no energy to do anything and mostly slept but the times she was awake with me she was very confused and disoriented and couldn't put two words together. I really appreciate this video because it helps me realize what she was going through, thank you.
Yo I just binged this without realising this is a school project…. I experienced the amount of effort and dedication you put into this video, your passion I can also feel through my glass screen, well done Mister.
You have a really nice and calming voice, which ties the whole project together. It's scary listening to symptoms of demetia, but your voice made it bearable and relaxing to listen to! I can't believe this is a school project, this is really well made!
Despite having watched other videos analyzing everywhere at the end of time, as well as listening to it, this video gave me a much deeper understanding of the album than I've gotten from any other video I've watched, so thank you.
I once decided to listen to this album in it's entirety, and ended up falling asleep at some point, when I woke up, it was sometime during stage 4, and let me tell you, I have never felt so scared and disoriented in my life as I did at that very moment. I had to turn it off, and have since never gotten a chance to revisit it. Thank you for posting your fantastic video essay!
As for the clarity moments that happen at random, new research suggested that clinical stage 6 demented brains still fluctuate in terms of cerebral activity. When at random, that activity spikes, in a surprising manner, explaining the random moments of clarity.
The use of stock footage getting more and more distorted as it goes on is an AMAZING touch.
I was the 500th like👍
@@apriceer9148 Wierd flex but okay.
@@UntalentedBrick not really a flex just saying
Mhm!
@@apriceer9148 Not really a flex but i was the 4th comment
yea
bro did this as a school project and gave his teacher existential dread for days
*4 years
@@UnfairDare fr lmao
@@UnfairDare oh no...
This is a SCHOOL PROJECT??? Its insane the level of craftsmanship you put into this video, and I’m bewildered that it was originally intended for school.
Slightly bewildered?
@@rlvideosgunner yeah no not doing that again
amazed by the slighest bit of effort
@@johnjonjhonjonathanjohnson3559 yeah i know right, the video isn't really on that high level of craftsmanship
@@BusterXlistaBOTRA I disagree but ok
As a wise man once said (on one of the EATEOT videos), “There’s nothing sadder than mourning the death of someone who’s still alive”
that was one of the comments on the actual video
@@Synthanicmusic sorry to hear that, my condolonces
just reading your story immediately makes me think about my loved ones and how precious time are
God damn. Chill man... 😭
@@Synthanicmusic my aunt passed from the same thing.
It's scary because at the time she passed, I was (unbeknown to me) nearing the end of my 2 year drinking binder.
It's sad... Those that couldn't kick the alcohol are suffering, much like I was when I was dependent on it.
I hope your father is resting in peace.
this lits a little to close ase someone who has "lost" someone to dementian. they're technically dead, but they are about as close as you can get while breathing.
my nana has dementia. i went to go visit her last weekend, and within an hour, she asked me a few times what grade i was in and when id go to highschool. i had to keep reminding her that im 22 and am in college, and shed keep apologizing saying "im getting a little forgetful". its a horrible thing, not just for the victim, but for everyone who knows them.
that made me tear up. i am so terribly sorry
its ok, yknow? well, its not ok, but... ive made my peace with it. and shes still lucid enough to hold conversations, so i still have a little while left with her. im sorry for making you tear up though
@@standardhuman8675 I'm glad you made me feel emotion. These days living is very hard for me and things like this remind me of the power of living. I didn't mean to make you feel bad for anything I just related to the emotions you feel because my grandfather had a bout with kidney failure and dementia before his death. It was rough.
i forgor 💀
how is she doing now?
My father has Parkinson's, per the project, he's in the middle of stage 3. He confuses dreams with reality sometimes and it's hard for him to socialize. When we talk about the things he was good at, he's sharp and focused. If you introduce any new topics, he has a difficult time keeping up in conversation. He writes in a diary, that he lets me read, so I have something from him when he's gone. The most disturbing excerpt has kept me awake at night sometimes.
"No one tells you when or how the roller coaster of life ends. Some people are fortunate to get an expedient end to their ride. Some people have a short exciting thriller, others a meek and mild one. But for me, I must ride it into the depths where memories will eternally be on the tip of my tongue. The rot will dehumanize me, a breathing coffin I am to become. Will I forget that my roller coaster was slowly falling apart or will I remember the ride at all? I hope to find my mother and father in that place, even if I can't remember who they are."
That’s an amazing paragraph but incredibly sad
It's so nicely worded and grim
I lost my father to Parkinson's with Dementia when he was 64 yo. That was the end of a 6 year struggle with the steady erosion of cognizance, motor skills, dignity in general. It's strange to watch your hero waste away. As a brooding young man my default coping mindset was to be angry at him. Surely this was something he had done to himself. This doesn't happen to people in their 50s. I distanced myself from him. It wasn't look down upon, as I was at the point in my life where I was forging my path and forward ambition was looked upon as a good thing. By the time I circled back, I was both humbled and gutted by the deteriorating effects of a mere 18 months.
At that point, we spent time together but it wasn't him anymore. Confusion quickly gave way to frustration more times than not. What appeared to be no more than a detached existence staring off into space proved to be a contemplative mind locked behind a perpetually hangdog mask whenever he chose to be present enough to affirm it. Those times got fewer and farther between.
He was the oldest of a large family and his next youngest sibling, a brother, followed him two years later with the same diagnosis same symptoms. While they were alive, there was a study done and it was determined that a well that's their parents drank from and gave them water from had a dangerously high level of aluminum in the water. By the time the third child in the family was born, they they had built a new home on the same farm and dug a new well. But that level of exposure in the early developmental years was enough. At this time I was told that it probably isn't genetic. It was a relief for me to hear because I am his oldest son.
Since it is a degenerative, terminal illness, I have always been cognizant of my physical and mental state and whether or not it felt like it was in Decline. Over the last two years moments I started noticing moments of detachment. In the last six months I have noticed slight but undeniable memory loss and moments of attachment. In reality right now,
it feels like a decline in cognitive functtion in the last four months .
I have noticed a slight but uncontrollable tremor at times in my left hand. at times in my left hand. I'm in my early 40s.
@@OzyMandias13 "I have noticed a slight but uncontrollable tremor at times in my left hand. at times in my left hand." uhh...
Damn that’s beautiful in such a hopeless way
There's also something called "terminal lucidity" or something like that where, before the patient dies, remembers anything, literally anything, like they don't even have dementia anymore, but they don't even have the time to actually realize anything that they're already dead.
What a horrifying mental illness.
Great perspective anyway, I think you pretty much nailed the meaning of EATEOT.
i’m actually working on a video rn about terminal lucidity and the role it plays in eateot just to get it out of my system lol but it’s so interesting
@@zbndtt I would love to see it, you earned a subscriber, anyway I found out that someone can die even one month after having terminal lucidity, it's still a bittersweet thing tho.
Holy shit that's sad
@@zbndtt I woudl have loved if at the end, to represent terminal lucidity befire the album ends, you could hear "Heartaches" and then an abrupt cut.
@@extensioncordgaming8266 yes ye syes
"They are everywhere at the end of time"...
Man, that ending gave me literal chills
my jaw dropped.
The most iconic song in the whole project, "It's just a burning memory", is actually a slowed, no lyrics version of the song "Heartaches", by Al Bowlly, which in my opinion is very meaningful as it is the first song in the whole project and I think it represents an elderly person trying to remember music from their time.
'Heartaches' returns in multiple songs following in later stages which is very interesting
I don't know if I will ever have the mental fortitude to endure these albums. Just listening to the first song and knowing what is about breaks my soul to pieces.
Same, it’s so emotional and heartbreaking
It's hard. I put it on in the background while I was moving around my apartment for a couple days, and I _forced_ myself to finish it. I then proceeded to have mild panic reactions to any sound that reminded me of it for a month or two.
While it's a completely unique (for the fortunate) experience, it is not one you need to have, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Simply knowing that it exists is enough.
@@TimeLemur6definetely. I tried to listen to it once but I just-- couldn't. Not even one song, it's genuinely terrifying how powerful it's effects are
Well, I listened to this album. A couple of times actually.
If I can do it, so can you.
@@TheSpadeStealer_98 that's definitely a dangerous conjecture... someone with a pre-existing mental disease/disorder like clinical depression and anxiety would definitely get a more intense and threatening reaction from it. Honestly, the first song haunts me enough and I'm building the strength to listen more (and honestly planning on making my friends listen to it with me).
Dude, your video... despite having been a school project, I can tell you truly understand the concept and meaning of the album, this is the best video that I've seen so far explaining "everywhere at the end of time"
What is the album? Ive never heard of it.
What's it significance?
@@oofers17 he's using irony to convey an example of dementia.
@@moss1w ooh ok sorry hard to tell from text
lol vegito que haces aqui, and yes i agree with you
@@InnerRise the album is about Alzheimer’s and dementia. about 6 and a half hours long and it’s really depressing
i do like the idea of the hell sirens representing sundown syndrome. they actually appear multiple times later on in the album. it hammers in the idea of defeat, with them sounding less and less threatening as the album progresses. it's the development of apathy that i think is shown by this, as the patient no longer cares about expressing their fear. they just...accept it.
I'd like to think Late afternoon drifting is also representing sundowning syndrome
@@QuidProQuo999 as well as Quiet dusk coming early
what is sundown syndrome?
@@BeanieGoth Search it up lol
I get this feeling with my dissociative identity disorder.
My favorite theory about this album is that each crackle of static represents an individual neuron dying.
i like that one
That's a cool theory.
what are there 200 trillion crackles?
@@evanmeirweber 1 crackle = 5000 waves of sound = 5000 ded
bro we probably lose 1000s of neurons daily
I'm happy my grandfather didn't go further than stage 3 of dementia, his last months of his life was extremely peaceful and he died in his sleep. I miss him so much.
This comment is so depressing yet comforting. At least your final moments with your grandfather were while he was lucid. My condolences toward him.
I listened to Everywhere at the End of Time while attempting an all-nighter. I stayed awake until the middle of stage four and woke up in stage six.
One of the most disorienting things I've ever done to myself
don't
never again.
you'll have existential dread for your fate.
should i sleep to eateot? ive only heard bits and pieces of the real album
@@meggawatt81 yes
9:47 - I can see an additional interpretation of the cover of Stage 4. Note that the bust of the person is facing away, with their head slightly bowed. Since Prosopagnosia, a difficulty or inability to recognise faces, including those of people the sufferer may know very well, or even love, is a common symptom in numerous neurodegenerative disorders, it could be that here is where the patient has lost the ability to remember their loved ones standing before them. The identities of the people visiting the patient might as well have been erased - to the patient, all they see is a stranger, looking on with an increasing sense of despair.
That's a good interpretation.I also think that the back of the head and hair are more distorted because the patient focuses to remember them by their face.
Ive had a single experience with Prosopagnosia. It was back in my youth while i had consumed a gram of psychedelic mushrooms and i boarded a bus where my friend had entered before me while i was paying the bus fare. After i got done paying my ticket, i couldnt tell where my friend was sitting since everyones faces looked the same. I didnt remember what clothing my friend was wearing and I couldnt just stand in the middle of the bus looking like a complete fool in the midst of the rest of the "normal" people, so i decided to play it cool and pretend to be "normal". I proceeded to walk at the back of the bus like i knew that was the destination where i was supposed to go, until my friend grabbed me from the arm asking me where the hell i am going.
That experience lasted propably the maximum of 10 seconds for me, propably even less, yet it was still horrifyingly long. The horrifying part is the realisation that you are unable to perform a simple autonomic task, such as sitting next to your friend due to such a small thing as not being able to read people's faces anymore. All this going through your head while you are pretending to be normal to other people.
Its hard to imagine how hellish life can be if disease causes this to you and just keeps getting worse and worse.
“This person is going to forget everything that’s making then content with their death in the first place.”
Jesus.
i have been dealing a lot with amnesia, and EATEOT really captured the feeling that amnesia brings. everything is so familiar but something is still off. it has comforted me through these hard times and i keep coming back to it. it's an amazing piece, i love it.
that is so interesting. i’ve always though abt how comparable eateot is to dementia (and things related to dementia) so idk this is just a super thought provoking comment lol
@@zbndtt The feeling of confusion and repeatness, the happiness that comes from emptyness is certainly on point, imo. my brain keeps repeating the songs on the album and it's normally these 7-second loops of one part of one song, but i keep forgetting the melodies, i don't know the name of the songs, and each time my brain is stuck with one, i can't remember how another melody sounds like. and being so empty it's happy is a very weird feeling, it's kinda like this manic nihilistic state of mind where you're just so tired of feeling everything at once, the confusion, the loss, the everything, and it's just. calm for once.
I myself am working on an album inspired by EATEOT about my own experiences, because i honestly need a way to express this weird state of being i'm experiencing in a way that other people can understand. it's really amazing how music and just art in general can express so much yet showing so little... that's one of the reasons art is just my favorite thing, it's the basis of humanity.
I'm pretty sure i had more to say but like,,, i forgot-
@@michoislost i still have such a hard time wrapping my head around that concept it’s just so unsettling to me. i talked abt it in the video with a lot of assumptions cause it’s kind of a hard topic to do any real research on so lmk if i misrepresented it in any way. and i’m definitely gonna have to listen to your album when it’s done - knowing you have a firsthand experience with amnesia will add so much meaning
You forgor💀
My Grandmother is a stage 6 patient, and I visit her about once a week. When I go, she just stays still, not thinking, not moving, trapped in the fog of dementia. she can't move at all. She just watches me talk to her. Not listening at all, because she can't listen, she forgot how. She is almost like a living corpse, still breathing and alive, but not moving or making a peep. I'll update if she dies, because she probably will in a couple weeks or so.
Update: She died about a month ago as of 8/9/2022, sorry I didn't update sooner.
Is your grandmother still alright? I hope you’re recovering well.
@@browniemeister1208 I forgot to update, but she died about a month ago. I wasn't too sad, as I had kind of forgotten who she was after she got the disease. What a horrible thing
@@nexo768 Damn
In a way, she died when she got dementia and now she's free
“i forgor 💀”
this album gave me existential dread for like a whole week fearing alzheimers and other things relating to dementia, i had a nightmare where i was old and my mother was there but her hair was gray and had no face was crying. some doctor told me bad news, i can't really remember but i just wanted it to stop and i woke up with tears.
That sounds awful. Bad enough nightmares can be traumatizing. I've been there.
I don't really blame you to be honest. For some people this album can be REALLY disturbing.
I heard if you dream about something that could actually happen, then it will happen, its a legend tho
"I cant really remember" is one of the most chilling things to read.
This is an amazing analysis, and one of my favourites regarding EATEOT. Your work is appreciated.
Thank you !!
but why did zaza not even mention synapse retrogenesis
@@yellowmegablocksdogs4569 Sudden Time Regression Into Isolation my dude.
@@theonlywindowmaker that aint synapse retrogenesis
@@yellowmegablocksdogs4569 I'm saying that "Sudden Time Regression Into Isolation" is scarier in my opinion.
This actually makes me sad. The day before my grandmother died of dementia, we went to visit her and we actually made her laugh. Now I'm not sure if she passed away in stage 5 and still understood what we said, or that she didnt understand anything of what we said at all because she was in stage 6.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terminal_lucidity
@@notakeyring the eye of the tornade
@@notakeyring doubt it honestly that’s extremely rare
@Francisca Santos I don't even know how to react to that. I have been watching too many eateot videos and I'm basically emotionless now. Sorry for ur loss ig
@@whwhwhhwhhhwhdldkjdsnsjsks6544 What did notakeyring say?
"Sudden time regression into isolation", Feels like It's just letting you know the void is near.
Wassup Boston boy
Wassup Boston boy
The first time I heard Everywhere at the end of time, my grandma was on Stage 2, a bit of confusion, forgetting if she ate or not, not remembering what day it was, etc. Now she is on stage 3, and it's quite scary, she gets angry at us for trying ti take care of her, she's violent, and barely remembers things from 5 minutes ago.
Your school project actually is helping me understand it more, thank you for the amazing work
updates? i hope things are easy for you guys
@@AdmiralAutismo hey, thanks for asking!
My grandma is still around stage 3 but she was still very agressive towards me and my mom, so we talked with my uncle and his family and they decided to take care of her since they're on a better position. And me and my mom moved out to our own apartment.
We still talk to her at least once a week, and I'm glad her health hasn't deteriorated yet, since now my uncle's wife is taking care that she takes her meds and brings her more company than us since we were usually working outside of home 😊
@@NatieGreen oh i’m glad to hear that shes getting the care she needs! you guys are amazing and i hope she knows how loved she is
any updates? been 3 months, hope she’s still okay
@@spaceorsaturn hi! Didn't know someone would ask for an update 😅
Well, my mom and I stopped living with her around September, because my grandma became too violent against us, but my grandma is living with my uncle (her son) and his gf who is a certified nurse, and they are taking care of her! They tell us about her status and she seems fine for the moment.
Thankfully she is still living as normal, even tho her memory hasn't gone better, but she's healthy for a 84 year old 😊
Stage 1 - Memory Loss
Stage 2 - Realization
Stage 3 - Confusion
Stage 4 - Confusion And Horror
Stage 5 - More Confusion And Horror
Stage 6 - Moments Before Death
：０
I'd think of it as;
Stage 1: Brisk Confusion
Stage 2: Noticable Confusion
Stage 3: Forgetting and Realizing
Stage 4: Unable to Think
Stage 5: True Horror
Stage 6: Emptiness
id think of it as:
stage 1: unnoticable fear
stage 2: noticable sadness of mind
stage 3: realization kicks in
stage 4: unable of thinking
stage 5: your time in isolation
stage 6: true end of time
All of you, I wanna see one with seven stages. That IS how many there are.
@@A.dude.you.know.stage 1 is no symptoms at all/no dementia, that would just be normal ballroom music
could genuinely listen to you talk for hours. the way you talk about these sensitive topics makes them so clear and easy to understand, and the visuals only drive the point home
thank you for making this
I have seizures.
One type of seizure I used to have more commonly was absent minded seizures.
This was when my mind felt like it would go into total reboot and I wouldn't know anything, only my five senses were still available such as sight and hearing.
When people try to interact with me I am unable to give a proper response until I snap back with my thoughts fully intact.
I can honestly say I have dived into dimentia and can tell you just how empty it feels.
How does it feel?
@@Destoroyahpng i think hes already dead its 2 monthsvago
I once had seizures that i would start to lose the ability to think, like i was drowing i my own conscience the only thing remaining was fear.
Plus i couldnt see even my vision was incomprehensible.
It was... Horrifing
@@Inazio1311 like when the wind is knocked out of you and you dont think just the feeling of fear and struggling
@@oneosix106decena 🤦♀bruh, like trust me, whatever type of dementia they have, Alzhemiers, it takes a long time, Lewy body, it takes like atleast 5 years, etc.
Thinking about dementia hits so much different after a loved one is diagnosed. My grandma isn’t even into the later stages (she was diagnosed recently) but this video still made me cry a little when before it wouldn’t have affected me at all. Good job on this bro. That last line hit really hard.
So sorry to hear that man, I hope you get through it well... make sure you spend her final moments with you.
Make sure you make the most of your time with her at this stage, even when she gets into those challenging stages.Its hard to want to face the fact your loved one is forgetting. And they are forgetting you.
I find those little moments matter most. When I could see my Grandma much more often we would put on her favourite songs from back in the day and she would smile and dance. We lived in the moment. Sure we were in her purple carpeted small care home room but it didnt feel that way.
I havent seen her in a while so Im not too sure how well she really is-only news from my family and the dementia care home.
Good luck to you,your family and Grandma's journey and cherish whatever you can.
Not to be disrespectful but does dementia have a 100% mortality rate?
@@AllmightyGigachad yes, in fact the life expectancy for Lewy body is about 5-6 years. As far as I know there’s no cure for Alzheimer’s or any form of dementia
@@muddigutz aw shit
This reminds me so much of my grandmother, how she got dementia and it led to her slow dimise, how she went from going to acting as she normally would, forgetting some words to being unable to walk and only speaking a few words. I thank you very much for bring light to dementia and the process the person feels, it’s reminded me of what my grandmothers gone through ❤
My grandmother started showing signs of dementia in mid-2020, right at the height of the Covid lockdown. I believe my she is currently in stage 4. She has had dementia for nearly two years now, so it really drags out and is very scary to watch.
I found Everywhere at the End of Time in early 2021 and listened to the full album in one sitting on May 1, 2021 (coincidentally right before this video came out).
The album gave me a whole new perspective of the world, and you couldn't have explained what it feels like to listen to it any better.
As soon as I listened to it, I made the promise to myself that I would capture and save all the simple parts of life. I've found many hard drives of family and childhood memories that I now have stored in a massive personal archive.
Because of this, I've delved into the art of liminal spaces and the strange aspects of memory. I've also begun to listen to Lofi, a peaceful and meditative genre of music that puts you into the current moment.
I personally feel that, in a secular way to say it, the meaning of life is to experience life itself. It is to make memories and feel nostalgia. It is to be aware of existence. It is so see; to smell; to touch; to learn, to know; to remember.
My grandmother is still alive, and I will cherish every moment I have with her, no matter how frustrating her dementia can be.
I have promised myself that when she does pass, whenever that may be, I will listen to the entirety of Everywhere at the End of Time once again.
Thank you for making this video. It is very well done. I would like to award you the highest honor I can bestow: an addition to my TH-cam "Memories" playlist.
Update 2024-01-04:
My grandmother passed away about 3 weeks ago. I and the rest of the family were by her side.
Today, I fulfilled my promise of listening to Everywhere at the End of Time once again.
Three years of taking care of her. 40 months to the day.
It is finished.
God bless ❤
I also have (or, had, more accurately) family members with dementia. I feel like I "should" listen to the project because I've been with people that this music is about, but at the same time feel like I'll be wrecked because of it.
I need to get some food and listen to this in one go, it feel like the right thing to do.
💔
"I have promised myself that when she does pass, whenever that may be, I will listen to the entirety of Everywhere at the End of Time once again" - I literally just cried at this concept 😭
Yes... Life is about the travel!
I'm sorry for you lost today, may this piece of art remind you of her loving care forever
I love all the smaller viewed videos, with only a view comments, because these videos always seem to be amazing an you sure as hell proved that point.
appreciate it bro
@@zbndtt Np man. Happy that it blew up so much!
A school project??? That was incredible! Your writing and analysis was phenomenal and your editing of the stock footage accented it perfectly. If you choose to make more content I would watch in a heartbeat!
if he didnt get an a+++++++ somethings up with the grading system
I forgor 💀
On a serious note, the "losing ability to express there identity" is extremely saddening. Knowing that they are still a person, have a personality, have their own thoughts and memories and experiences with others, but now they cant remember most of that, unable to express it, they arent a dying husk. They are a full being without the ability to express themselves properly even in their own mind
@Andrey Jethro Wattimena We Forgor 💀
Everyone Forgor 💀
Our Forgor 💀
Everywhere at the end of forgor 💀
all forgor 💀
I have a friend who was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzeheimer's this year at the age of 36 and he's been trying to get surgeries and medication to remedy/slow it down, he knows his lifespan is now much shorter than previously thought and he's very depressed over it. He's had really bad luck his entire life and it sucks that this bad luck will never go away, apparently. I mean, hell, recently, as of the past few years, his ex dumped him and spread false rumours about him doing unspeakable things to her and abusing her which turned all his friends and family against him. It's sad because he has never harmed a person and he's super gentle and sweet.
THIS WAS A SCHOOL PROJECT?! if you put this much effort into a school project it just shows your passion for this album and your philosophical speech and metaphorical topics are just so inspiring and I’ve never felt this way watching a video and you were just explaining the main piece so I can only imagine how the actual album itself makes me feel.
A comment by "Too much mustard" under the 6h video:
Some useful info about the album:
A1, "It's just a burning memory" repeats many times through the stages, becoming more and more distorted and lost.
The crackling heard throughout the entire album is meant to symbolize plaque gradually building up in the brain.
The Stage 3 album cover is supposed to resemble brain synapses.
The Stage 6 album cover resembles the back of a painting, saying that whatever meaning was there, is now imperceptible to you anymore.
Of course, you don't know that.
You've already forgotten.
i dont want to take credit for this but i think this is very important and i would like for more people to hear about this
So the album 6 has double meaning?
@@leMiG31 basically yea
damn the crackling part is honestly messed up and cool at the same time
I'm always so happy whenever I come across a new review or reaction video of EATEOT. I've been obsessed with this project since last fall when I first heard it. My fascination with it continues to grow.
Thank you for your analysis of EATEOT. This is one of the best reviews I've seen. I like the way you discuss what to expect in dementia patients at each stage, and the comments from your caregiver friend about stage 5 patients "still being there" inside but unable to express themselves is really fascinating. In a way, it does make it more horrifying that they're a lot more aware than we think they are, but are trapped inside themselves, unable to make their thoughts, feelings and needs known to others. But at the same time, if they're still there inside, they haven't really been lost.
Fantastic interpretation of the stage 6 cover art. Your summary of the whole project at the end is poetic and beautiful. You're the first person I've seen give a coherent explanation for what "everywhere at the end of time" refers to.
All in all, I loved it. You have really done your research and given this a lot of thought. Great job!
May the ballroom remain eternal.
it took a while for me to be happy with how i explained a lot of the things in this vid so it means a ton that u resonated with what i said. thank u:)
TW: this is my personal experience with my Grandpa having dementia. There was never really a time I can remember him not having it. He was still ok when I was a baby because there’s pictures of him holding me and pushing me on the swing. Then when I was about 4 or 5, his house had become basically a hoarder house. It was all cramped with papers and random things and his 4 dogs that would just pee and crap all over his house which was really sad because he had loved those dogs but was just unable to care for them at that point so we had to give them away and keep one. I know his car had also been gone for some years at that point because he couldn’t drive anymore so we had to put him in a nursing home. The first one was horrible because nurses would take advantage of his disease by stealing from him. We noticed the gifts we got him had disappeared like a gold watch and an MP3 player with all his favorite songs on it(this was especially upsetting because music is one of the only things that can bring them joy) After that we moved him to a nicer veterans home but it didn’t really matter because he couldn’t enjoy life. He couldn’t walk, he had to wear diapers, he was pretty much always in a comatose state but he did have brief moments of clarity where he recognized my aunt and was happy to see her. But a lot of times the moments of clarity were just more horrible than before because he realized where he was and would start crying or saying he wanted to kill himself. He never recognized me as his granddaughter, he called Carol one time but I’m not sure if he was referring to my aunt or my mother because both of them are named Carol. My aunt would see him at least once a week for the last decade of his life in the Veteran hospital and my grandma did too even though they had been divorced for many years and he was always happy to see them. One of the saddest experiences I ever had was when I went with my dad to see him in one of the final years of his life. My dad never visited even for years because he couldn’t emotionally handle seeing his father like that so when we went to see him, my grandpa didn’t recognize him. He thought my dad was my grandpa’s brother and when my dad told him no I’m your son, he claimed to not have a son. My dad started crying when he said that and that was the first time I ever seen my dad cry. My grandpa died when I was 18 and everyone was almost at peace because he didn’t have to suffer anymore from this terrifying disease. He was only 78 which means for more than the last ten years of his life, he had dementia. I always wished I could of gotten to know him when he was well. From all accounts my Grandpa used to be a very smart man. He built airplanes and cars and boats and he was in the Korean War as an airplane mechanic. He was a gentleman and would always give my mother flowers from his garden. Him and my dad were very close before he got sick and I know it sounds horrible that my dad refused to see him for so many years but he just couldn’t handle it which I understand. Now that he’s dead I want to try to honor his memory by donating every time I can to finding a cure so no one has to go what he went through. It’s scary because my grandma had started to get it too in her old age but she passed away last year before it got to the late stages. She got to keep her house and at least some form of freedom until the last few months of her life. She was 85. I really hope me or my dad don’t get it. R.I.P. Grandpa and Nanny ❤️💐 You’ll never be forgotten and I love you
Yo thats long
My grandma has alzheimer and she she just isn't her anymore can't hear can't just and all this in the span of 6 years? maybe less
I hope your Grandpa and Nanny can rest in peace...
Im glad you shared this
Dang
I remember finishing stage two and half of stage three when I decided to listen to it while eating, and I noticed my hands were shaking and my heart was beating kind of hard like I was having a panic attack. I didn't even notice it.
It was really weird, because I would have noticed it, but my body just did it on its own. Well something did happen that morning that was kind of stressful so maybe that was it, who knows though?
Also when stage four came on, it was so perfect with the part of the book that I was reading because, the scene was the main character forced in a nightmare that brought him in his past that he particularly longed for, so when he woke up he was crying knowing full well that he could never reach that special place again.
Why was this also how my body took it lol
I once had the entire album playing in my ears during a nights sleep. Just like how the album its self is really confusing to explain, the nightmares/dreams i had that night seemed to follow a similar pattern of getting more and more unsensical until i woke up and forgot everything except the feeling
interesting…
i may try that just for the experience.
@@RazzBeri1 how was it?
@@justPart oh! i forgot to do that!
well i cant just do it on a weekday... i need a good night's sleep...
@@RazzBeri1 That’s not how it works sadly, all dreams you remember happened around a few minutes to seconds before you wake up
@@copilopi3104 i’m not quite sure why you’re scolding me…
i understand that one forgets dreams, and i understand when. it’s quite literally stated in the original comment that the dreams are forgotten.
my second comment was just stating that i couldn’t potentially ruin my weekday with bad sleep.
i suppose that you were dropped, and now simply repeat whatever you have learned to random people at seemingly random times.
I like to listen to music or random horror stories on TH-cam as I make illustrations. One day I stumbled upon this six hour album and thought "okay, six hours, let's be productive" and started working. Came out crying really badly thinking about how I don't want any of my loved ones to be gone. My fear for death bubbled up a lot more. Started thinking lot of stuff I never thought about. About grief, about loss, about this condition that dementia is, the way it just breaks the way you see your life. About how lonely it would be to have dementia and can't even explain what's happenning with you. To all of you who have relatives with this or actually suffer from dementia on early ages, keep strong. Thank you for the analysis zaza!
I’ve meet someone who had dementia before, my great grandmother. She was in a home, and when I met her, her husband was sent into the home just a few days before. she seemed to be trapped in a memory she had during high school where she was getting ready for prom and she asked me if I had some red lipstick as it would go well with her dress. If we said anything unrelated, or sometimes in general, she seemed to not hear us despite nothing not actually being wrong with her hearing. The nurses mentioned to us that when her husband was in the home that she was screaming out his name the whole night, until her throat hurt. The thing is, they couldn’t tell if she remembered his name or if it was because they had met in high school. I don’t know what stage she was at, but definitely enough where you know there’s no denying that somethings horribly wrong. Her husband died a few weeks later, and her a year. That was the first and last time I had met her, and I had grown up hearing stories about a wonderful woman, and it was horrifying seeing what happened to her.
You deserve more subscribers then what you have. The production quality of the video is phenomenal! You explain each stage in your own opinion, with detail and personality.
My grandfather had late stage dementia, he passed away recently. I can refer to a lot of your statements as true to how he felt while he was still alive and well.
I wish the TH-cam recommendation algorithm blesses you with views.
its super crazy knowing you can reference what i said back to your own situation. really appreciate this comment and hope you're dealing with the loss okay :)
I think one of the worst parts about this disease is that you always think you have time, that you're not old enough yet. Until, you have it, and there's no way to go back or to stop what's coming.
At one point, me, my parents, their parents, and my great grandma all lived in the same home whilst my grandma took care of her. I helped out sometimes.
I practically grew up with her, and I witnessed her decline and struggle with dementia. Thankfully, she was always very sweet. Though it’s heartbreaking in retrospect.
I remember how she slowly declined, probably within 6 years. What breaks my heart is my grandma has signs of it too, and knew throughout taking care of her that.. she would most likely face the same thing.
I remember how she stopped being able to go to the bathroom alone. Then get dressed. Then she needed to be fed. It was a slow domino effect, after one thing went it was only a matter of time until the next.
She died around 2018-2019, though she lived to 106, and i still miss her, yet I hardly remember who I miss. I’m just thankful she’s not suffering any more.
If I’m ever diagnosed with dementia I promise you it going out on my own terms. I couldn’t live through something so lonely and horrifying. This is an auditory representation of dementia, but a visual version of dementia to me would be a maze the gets darker the further you go into it, and even if you walk backwards the maze changes when you don’t look at it. To the point where you are too tired to find an exit so you just curl up into a ball and cry till you die to starvation.
Honestly based
Lets just hope it never gets to the point where you forget this is an option.
Everyone thinks this, so few succeed. The horror of dementia is that by the time you realize you are doomed to suffer such a fate it's already silently eroded much of your will and capacity to do anything about it. You have to act long before you feel like the symptoms have progressed enough to warrant taking action. This is how it traps you. Be warned, I have watched dementia take many loved ones and likely one day myself and the one thing they all had in common is they got trapped riding it out to the gruesome end. None ended it on thier own terms despite declaring such when they were young and well were the situation ever to arise.
Write a living will. Dementia will rob you of the decision. Write it while you have the capacity to make the decision, the same way that people write living wills with a clause for being taken off life support if they go into a coma.
My grandmother has dementia. This is the first time I've finally understood the concept of dementia, thanks to this project. Truly amazing and heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing it with us.
everywhere at the end of time has made me afraid of becoming old, I know that it is a part of life but I don't want it to be. getting dementia is one of my biggest fears, I don't want to forget anything. I want to remember the happy and sad moments of life but it will all come to an end and I know that.
I hope you got full marks on this assignment. This analysis was so mature and insightful, touching upon ideas that others on TH-cam have not. The visuals are haunting, and the script is so well-written.
I listened to the "lucidity stages" (1-3) thinking it can't be so bad. I was so so wrong and I'm only at stage 4. The concept of the few and far between thoughts at stage 5 is the most terrifying to me. The fact that this person's only source of comfort is the thing they've been dreading and the thing that's killing them is so strangely scary and sad.
I can't stop watching this. The fact that the video feed is getting distorted at the same rate that the stages he's talking about, is amazing and only adds to the analysis. Great job and amazing research.
A 20 minute long back-to-back goosebump-inducing commentary that ends on the very last sentence with an idea that made, literally, *every* hair in my body straighten out like razors. Every act that you covered you did with such care, attention to detail, respect and creativity that even I who's listened to EATEOT and a bunch of other of Kirby's works learned so much. Dude that last sentence alone is gonna stick with me until I die. Great video.
As someone who grew up with brain damage (head injury from a very young age) I felt like the statement that "it takes away your ability to express your identity and not your identity itself" hits really close to home.
I still think like everyone else. My internal monologue is completely intact, but the moment that translates into something like speaking it becomes insanely difficult. (It's a big reason why a lot of Neurodivergent people treat their brain like a seperate entity. "Sorry that was my brain just being stupid", "My fucking brain's keeping me awake", etc.)
How I choose to discribe it is: think you're driving a car. You know how to drive just like everyone else, but your car is broken in whatever way. Your steering wheel isn't quite aligned, the breaks only work on one side, the engine keeps stopping, whatever the point is it's not quite functional. But you're stuck with it, and have to work around it. That's what it's like (for me) to live with brain damage.
Of course there's probably smarter people with way better metaphors out there lmao
but through written word you can communicate just fine, right? it's only the speaking part that's the problem?
"At the end of this person's time, their impact is given a new meaning. And their impact is everywhere. They are everywhere at the end of time." is genuinely such a crazy bar it made me gasp out loud fr
Been obsessed with this album for a few years, and I’m always trying to explain the way I feel to others about it …
My friend, you have successfully expressed my feelings on the matter. Thank you.
What you say at the end brought tears to my eyes. The first time I've ever heard someone define the meaning of the title "Everywhere at the end of time" so beautifully and coherently. 💗
A superb presentation! I hope you got an A for this. Cool how you also created this background video to back up your presentation instead of just showing the paintings used in the project. Nice to see that "Glimpses of hope in trying times" was your favourite in Stage 2, too. It's my second favourite song in the entire project after "The way ahead feels lonely". Many people just call it scary so I like that's it's getting love from others, too.
this hurts so much because my grandma suffered from dementia for 4-6 years and i never fully grasped how bad it was
If I ever found out I was developing dementia I get assisted suicide I'd rather die knowing who I am and who my friends and family are rather than solely forget and go crazy
If I’m being honest, I’d do the same.
Yes the second I get diagnosed it's straight to the cyanide pill.
Dimentia runs in my grandma's side. She currently has it and her 2 other sister died from it and so did her mother. There's not a week that goes by that I don't think about it and I'd rather die than to go through what she did. I've told my wife if I ever get it to take me to the woods like an unwanted dog.
Agreed
Y’know- it’s funny. I did a school project about Dementia too, in English. My teacher gave us a series of topics, and books correlating to those topics. When I found both the topic, and a book that somewhat connects to Dementia, I immediately went for it, mostly due to EATEOT. After reading the book, we had to make a presentation, in the form of a tv. Not only that, we had to actually go advocate for the thing we were supporting (I.E, if you’re talking about animal neglect/abuse, go to an animal shelter to help out or something.)
For me? I had to go all the way to Green Bay to visit a seniors home, and give specifically Dementia patients gift baskets.
I can give you some details that I remember: any woman I saw, they had a bunch of baby dolls. Some wanted the extra baby doll that was in the basket, and some didn’t. I don’t remember *why* they had so many. Maybe it was just for the nostalgia of being younger and having children.
I saw a man wandering in the halls. We gave him a basket. (Also- quick note, we gender-coded the baskets, so men got blue baskets and women had pink baskets.)
We *were* going to visit a guy in his room, but… I don’t know if he was asleep, or- dead or something, but we couldn’t really do that.
I saw a woman in a wheelchair, being brought to tears by… something. I can’t really remember what it was, I remember she had a jacket. Maybe she was having trouble getting it on, or off.
It- gave me a silent disturbance, but I wouldn’t let that be known to anyone else. I’ve always had a habit of hiding behind a mask of security.
Fun fact: the woman we were following, was a worker that specifically dealt with giving the patients of Dementia a comfortable death. I can’t remember the actual title of that kind of worker. But despite her seemingly pretty happy, and up-beat, I had this feeling she was.. she felt bad, specifically when she told us about her purpose as a worker in that facility. I sensed she was somewhat hurt. But I could be wrong. Maybe I’m just too empathetic.
When me and Mom left, and drove back to my Nana’s house (which is in Green Bay), I decided to listen to some music.
First thing I listened to was parts of EATEOT’s Stage 1.
It made me reflect a little.
I wouldn’t say this experience was traumatic, but it was… unnerving.
i hope you got an A+ on that project
The baby doll thing is something I've noticed in a lot of old folks homes. I've been to retirement homes a lot at varying ages, and as a child the old women there were very sweet but weirdly touchy. I think they give baby dolls and stuffed toys to old women because most of them had children at some point, and are nostalgic for being a mother. And after a while of dementia you start to forget what era of your life you're in, so eventually many of them think they are still the mother of a baby and become distressed when they can't find their baby. So having a baby doll can provide comfort, because it gives them the feeling that they have the baby they think they still have with them and they can "take care" of it. I've learned that a bunch of dementia care is basically like improv, so like if a woman with dementia is upset she can't find her baby, you don't say "your baby is 50 years old now" because they can't retain that information and it will confuse and distress them even more, so you say "oh don't worry he's right here" and hand her a baby doll. After a certain stage, it's counter productive to try and "snap them back to reality," because imagine going about your day today and someone you don't recognize says "actually your parents are dead and you're currently 90 years old in a retirement home." That's basically what's happening in the mind of someone with dementia. To them they are living in whatever part of their life their brain can remember, so to ease their anxiety it's better to pretend that they are the 25 year old mother of a newborn they think they are in that moment and that you are whoever they think you are in that moment. So the baby dolls are a part of that, they think they have a baby so you say "yes this is your baby."
My dad's mom had Alzheimer's and she had a baby doll she'd carry around at the retirement home. In a similar vain my dad's dad had to be given fake paperwork to fill out at the retirement home, because he was a college president in the past which was a job that required a lot of paperwork, and he was distressed at the retirement home because he "needed to get his paperwork done." So instead of arguing they just gave him random fake paperwork to fill out, which made him happier. I honestly find it weirdly comforting that at a certain stage of dementia you just forget you have dementia, since it's probably really stressful knowing your mind is failing and after that point you don't really have to live with that stress anymore.
bruh... not bad
@@WasabiKitCat dementia is weird and we don’t know much about how the brain works, getting from “I’m forget”ing” to a point that you forget that you are forgetting is frightening
i'm a year late but this is some amazing work, man! i'd say this is more than just a school project at this point - hope you'll make more videos like this, it's both really well put together (visuals and script both) and interesting to listen to!
My grandma just recently passed away and for the past 5 years she was taken over by dementia. It may sound weird but in a way it was interesting to see how she changed due to the disease - how she just kept forgetting things she did a minute ago at first, then after my grandpa died her deterioration got a little faster. Soon she'd start to forget our faces and mix us up with other family members who she hadn't met in years, she'd forget how many kids she had, other things like this. Then, later, she got more aggressive towards me - I'm a short person and to her I was probably just some random unknown troublemaking child who "didn't live there" (our house is conjoined, me and my fam live in the other house right next to hers). I remember two times when she took that aggression a bit too far in a way: she came at me with a broom one time, and started throwing walnuts fallen from the big walnut tree in her yard at me. That was the point when I think I knew she was just... not "herself" anymore, yknow? Because she never ever acted even just a little angry towards me before.
Later, she had moments when she couldn't find or make up words because she didn't remember the correct words, but interestingly she was completely coherent until the end! For the last year she had to live in a nursing home for obvious reasons, but she was still smiling and cheerful, save for some moments of depression where she just... she just kept saying she wanted to die and that she doesn't want to live anymore (these moments happened even before she went to the nursing home and after my grandpa died so it was sort of a "ah, that mood again?" thing at this point).
In the end, she was coherent but didn't remember anything about anything correctly. She'd make up things she did when my parents visited her and asked how she's doing, but never acted aggressive towards them. She later died in her sleep at the start of this month, at the age of 94.
Seeing her deteriorate was... both interesting (even if saying this may sound bad), sad, and frightening at the same time. I remember how I wished for her "old self" to come back multiple times. I wanted to hear more of the stories she hadn't told me of her past, but I knew it was impossible at that point. I just regret not recording them when she was telling them... I'm just glad she's not suffering anymore...
Dude this is such a good video describing and analyzing this horrifically beautiful art piece. The fact that you even interviewed someone who cares for patients with Alzheimer's was so thoughtful and I haven't seen anyone else do something like that. I hope you can make more video essays like this some time later, your editing and scriptwork is actually pretty top notch for someone with such a small number of subscribers. Well done, all around.
One of your final conclusions made me think a lot. "Dementia doesnt take your identity away, rather, your expression." Perhaps that means that not all is lost. The concept im thinking of, is that people in late stages of dementia are still there. Its a bit like being locked in your mind. You can only think, and never interact with the outside world. You can think perfectly fine, but not do anything. Once you think about doing something it suddenly fails. Forever in a cage, where the only thing you have is your thought, all your memories, all your experiences, everything that happened in the past, its only when you try describe them to the outside world, that it suddenly fails. The only thing you have left beside thinking about the past, is to wait, for your inevitable death, the only key to this curious cage.
That would explain terminal lucidity... But who knows, only way to find out is to get there...
It's like the brain is getting progressively weaker, loses control of everything accept the essentials, and eventually can barely help itself.
In some weird way, that idea is more comforting to me than the idea that the person actually loses their identity, because losing their expression of their identity means that the person is still there. It doesn’t frighten me as much as the idea of actually losing yourself.
Not sure why.
@@alixstar11 I can see how that would be comforting, like by losing their identity, their soul is freed from the torture and what's left is an empty husk, still alive but soulless, so you don't need to worry about them anymore.
It's not as comforting to think that their soul is still trapped and tortured inside their dying body.
Smth like that idk I'm not all that religious
This feels like what a survivor of dementia who is also an artist would explain dementia like
Like that one "old man with dementia forgets he has dementia" meme? Yeah I buy it.
you can survive dementia?! how?!
@@blitzyblook3315 you can't. But if you did this what would happen according to the commenter
@@blitzyblook3315 people on the internet are getting more gullible every day
@@ketaminepoptarts they are *forgetting* the fact people lie.
Excellent use of visuals for this breakdown. I listened to this album in it's entirety yesterday and I'm still reeling from it. Watching and listening to others talking about their experiences and interpretations is helping me digest it. I genuinely was not wholly prepared for the emotional impact of Everywhere at the End of Time.
This video lead me to the album and I think you got it spot on. It really does put you in a certain state of mind that you wouldn't be able to get just from reading up on dementia, although it might make you sad and empathetic. The entire album has so much thought put into it, even the parts that are barely music.
The later stages have some random and muffled sounds, as if you're in a different room to everything around you happening, including your own thoughts. The album just makes you feel like you're getting further and further from not just the real world, but your own thoughts and memories of that world.
Not only that, the feeling of being separate persists if you stop listening. I had to take a few breaks, and whenever I spoke to anyone I had to act as if I were in a normal state of mind, rather than the upset and sombre one the album had put me in. The fact is that no one else is going to understand unless they were also listening to it - because of the state it puts you in. Anyone can empathise with someone feeling upset at a sad song but you can't explain or relay seeing the world in a slightly different way.
Everything in the project is incredibly well thought out and honestly I think essays of analysis could be written, but the best thing to do is just listen and understand as best you can.
2023 edit! HEY PLEASE DON'T PAY ANY MORE ATTENTION TO THIS COMMENT. TURNS OUT IT'S DISSASOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER.
as someone young (15 years old mind you) suffering with memory loss, this analysis genuinely terrified me, and i haven't even listened to the album yet. the way you describe it is just so emotional, and i'm a huge underreactor, so realizing this genuinely impacted me enhanced the experience by a lot
i was 15 when you commented this too, and i too have memory loss, listening to this documentary genuinely made me re-think some things in life, i sometimes struggle to remember even the most minor details, what song was featured on this creepy tiktok video i watched? what did my friend wear yesterday? what did she eat? what did we do together? it scares me so badly, and i think this video has enhanced that, but it has also taught me to live in the moment and truly cherish something.
@@alcazarzaray very few people remember the things you listed. Those are things that are incredibly common to forget about
same. nobody in my family really has gotten dementia other than my on my moms side and i also habe adhd which makes remembering shit really hard
@@alcazarzaray Plot twist: @yos3xgamers and @nivsdiary are the same person.
Same with me.
I'm around 15 and suffer from memory loss. My family claims its ADHD/trauma
I can't remember what I wore yesterday, I can't remember what I ate this morning, I can't remember to eat something, I can't remember where I am sometimes, I get lost constantly and I get confused on the simplest tasks aswell as struggling with remembering names. This video terrified me and when I looked deeper it scared me more. Doesn't help dementia runs in the family.
Absolutely brilliant analysis. There's truly something to be said about how this album is so relatable and personal without needing a single lyric. Drifting Time Misplaced from Stage 3 is probably the best example of that and I really think it's the most important track in the album. You can so closely feel the person's memory trying to hold onto the melody through repetition - but it only fades away into abstraction, and then is ultimately replaced by the most awful and tragic silence. It's a turning point and the mood of the entire album darkens afterwards like something incredibly important has been lost forever. It chills me every time I hear it
That last line gave me literal chills. Amazing project, so glad you decided to share it outside of your classroom
You sir, are serious TH-camr material. I hope you'll post more projects like this
My Grandma is at stages between 4 and 5, we saw her yesterday te eat with my family, she appeared… confused, she wasn’t talking, not moving too much, needed someone to help her in every moves. She lives in a home specially for dementia patients, when she got there for the first ( in march ) she thought we were abandoning her, she called my dad and my aunt, screaming at them, saying that they were [ bad words that I don’t think I can say ]. When we visited her after one month, she had a crisis. We wanted to go on a walk with her, she said that if we didn’t brought her back to Paris ( that’s where she lived ) we could just go away. We insisted and she started screaming and crying, I went back downstairs because it scared me and I started crying. One of the lady that live here and that have stage 1 of dementia comforted me but it made me even worse because she’s aware, aware that she’ll end up like this or worse…
you've probably heard this a billion times in videos like this... but this is SO UNDERRATED AND GREAT!!
I found this album sometime in early 2020, before the pandemic started and life was pretty normal. I actually got used to using it as background music when I'm working on projects, because normal everyday music is very active and makes me think a lot, EATEOT kind of forces you to shut off and just be in the moment. I've probably listened to the entire thing almost 100 times at this point, and every time I end up hearing something new and thinking "I must have heard this before, but I don't remember it", and that's honestly one of the scariest parts of this album to me.
Stage 4 is my favorite stage. It's the moment when the album truly reveals what its doing. I sit through the entire stage waiting for those Hell Sirens and think "Man, this is a lot longer then I thought it was, and that's scary"
Maybe I just enjoy the fear. But for now I'm just glad I can remember what makes me afraid :)
One of the best reviews i've seen. Great job.
thanks :)
Ewateot gave me a whole new perspective on dementia because my nans sister has it when when I use to visit her I didn’t know a whole lot about dementia but now when I visit her I can’t help but cry and when she passed on I felt so good for her because her suffering was over and she was finally put out of misery.
This is such a wonderful explanation of the heartbreaking album that it’s much more deserving of being just a school project!
I’ve watched a lot of documentaries and reactions about this project, but this was probably my favorite out of them all! I never thought of dementia in the way you discussed it in the video, and it totally makes sense looking back on it though that point of view. I also love the visuals you had in the background, slowly deteriorating from cohesion to a jumbled mess to nothingness. Keep up the good work!
dude… this is an insane school project. you are incredible at explaining such topics while complementing it with masterful visual and audible presentation. i honestly think you would make a great content creator, i know for a fact id be happy to sub to your channel and watch it grow. im sure you landed an A+++ on this project and i bet you could amass a large number of subscribers on youtube with such quality content. masterfully done, bro
Getting dementia when I'm old is one of my biggest fears.. two of my four grandparents got it and it's just terrifying to me. They both remembered me to the end but it scares me to think of what their day to day life was like near the end.
love the stock footage of ss leviathan at 1:00, one of the nicest ocean liners
on a real note, this video is so "poetic" (if you get what i mean), and made me really want to listen to this album. and the fact it was made for a school project is incredible
Oceanliner are cool
I'm not going to lie, This album changed my life in a big way.
before this album I never gave too much thought on how bad dementia was, I never gave too much weight to my memories.
but after this album, I understood a lot more, and I'm very scared of it, after many days of thinking I always get to the same solution: "If I get dementia, I'll kill myself before I forget what I am, and long before I forget I'm forgetting"
at least like this, I'll die myself, instead of dying and leaving my body to suffer.
dementia is like your soul leaving your body to suffer for a long time, just to come back at the last moment to make it feel at peace and to tell it you didn't leave it behind, it is coming with you to the afterlife.
Honestly, I could write an infinite comment on how I feel, and yet I feel I'll never truly write what its like, and yet I feel in such a specific and strong way for something I never experienced (thank god, I hope I never will)
one thing that I wonder about is...
if someone you know has dementia, and they are on stage 2
what would be the right thing to do?
make them die before they lose memories.
let them live to the end?
let them die on the next stage? on the 4th?
kill them while they forget forgetting so they won't even know they died?
I honestly want to write for so much longer but I'll stop here since I'll get repetitive and I'd just horror my self to not sleeping tonight
same story with me
i learned about dementia with the memes you know
but it's FAR more serious than i thought
i watched video's about it including this video and album and cleared it everything for me about that topic
my grandparents dont have it and im sure about that my grandma died but not from that
my 90+ year old grandpa that's still alive remembers quite well
good sign because it's not a disease that run's in the entire family
and trust me if i was diagnosed with it I'd do the same as you
My Grandma has dementia. Stage one or two. I'm scared for her. For what's to come next.
I've never really opened my eyes to dementia, never really wanted to. But the fact that this video gave me the awareness of what it is, what it feels like, and how it impacts the people around them, I don't know how to feel. Also the fact that this is a school project is mind blowing to me. I think this has got to be the best school project anyone has ever done.
Glad you got the stage six artwork right, with it being the space where a canvas/page should be. There's no work in progress, no finished piece - there isn't even a blank sheet. So there's not even anything left to call empty.
0:01 I love the song called “childishly fresh eyes”
Wow, this is top comment and it has 2 likes
I love how you did this video, how you structured it and how you explain things clearly.
I am too emotionally connected to music.
I fear listening to the album and never did for more than a few minutes.
I never will any more.
I am thankful I could get at least a slight understanding through this video rather than risking a meltdown. :)
i can't listen to this album alone, not when alzheimers and dementia runs in both sides of my family. maybe i'll end up listening to it with some dedicated and curious friends. but for now it stays untouched and unheard by me
Literally I empathize
It was
A lot.
This is the truest statement I’ve ever heard
no me too. one of the first pieces in stage 1 (forgot which) had this random drum set appear for like 2 secomds and holy crap it freaked me out so bad. i literally felt my mind go blank and it was only stage *1*. imma have to do the same as u and listen to this w someone else, theres no way in hell im doing it alone 😭🙏🙏
I'd always hesitated to listen to it because I know what it's about. However, I still went ahead and listened to it, but with a friend. What people usually don't tell you is that, it's not a good idea to listen to this series of albums if you're not in a good mental state. I'll also never listen to this series of albums alone.
i love the background and how it relates to each of the stages with the details blurring, skipping, and turning into fractals
Do you believe the theory that the track “glimpses of hope in trying times” is the official moment of diagnosis?
i’ve never heard of that theory but it sounds totally reasonable to believe it. it’s a scary song lol
@@zbndtt I believe so, album is open to interpretation and theories one of the reasons it’s so good, great vid man
So much for the “glimpses of hope” am I right?
@@Human_Spawner_ family members hugging and comforting you, telling you medicine is always getting better, that you still have many years to live
I always thought that it was Misplaced in Time
This video put so much context around the album for me, thank you. I felt like I was missing out on the deeper meaning and now I understand and fully appreciate what the Caretaker has created.
How are you happy about the meaning of this? I was glad NOT knowing it.
I noticed how songs will repeat a certain part of the actual song, like how you actually remember things, you dont remember full days, you only remeber certain moments daily. Even then by the next year you'll probably forget them. It shows how this person is remembering close memories in stage 1, but stage 2 is the close memories that they don't remember quite well, and they dont know why. I think the songs from stage 1 appearing in stage 3-4 is showing how the thoughts of memories arent coherent, like they kind of remember the good times, but they just don't feel right. Like the memories are mixed up and dont feel like a personal experience.
I've always interpreted EatEoT as the gradual erosion of one's identity because of dementia. Essentially the death of the soul.
People are shaped and made by experiences, we're all the same, but made different because of how we grew up. As those experiences are corrupted or erased by the disease, we slowly lose what made us what we are. Our brain will desperately try to maintain our sense of self by cobbling together what usable memories are left, with each stage resulting in a less and less perfect copy.
As the brain slowly runs out of memories to use, the collective that made up our identity is slowly washed away, until the concept or idea that is "you" is gone. You no longer exist.
And no one will be able to tell when you have stopped existing
This is definitely one of the best reviews of this masterpiece of an album that I’ve ever seen. I love this old footage that you use throughout the video too. After I listened to the project I learned that my great grandfather who passed away had dementia which definitely made me appreciate the album more. It has such a unique concept and I’m thinking about listening to it again.
This video is really well done. This made me see dementia in a new, disturbing light. I never considered that it made you lose the ability to express yourself. Again, this video of yours is very well done. Great first video!
“A single photo can tell a million stories”.
Today is the 1 year anniversary of my grandmothers passing and she had dementia in the last few years of her life. I don't remember the stage she had but she always seemed so happy on the surface but sometimes she would lose the mask and I could see that she was sad, confused, scared and just falling to pieces. I remember the first time I realized how terrible she was affected by it she was is when she forgot my name and that scared me. In the last month of her life cancer had eaten at her vigorously and she had no energy to do anything and mostly slept but the times she was awake with me she was very confused and disoriented and couldn't put two words together. I really appreciate this video because it helps me realize what she was going through, thank you.
Yo I just binged this without realising this is a school project…. I experienced the amount of effort and dedication you put into this video, your passion I can also feel through my glass screen, well done Mister.
birb
You have a really nice and calming voice, which ties the whole project together. It's scary listening to symptoms of demetia, but your voice made it bearable and relaxing to listen to! I can't believe this is a school project, this is really well made!
Despite having watched other videos analyzing everywhere at the end of time, as well as listening to it, this video gave me a much deeper understanding of the album than I've gotten from any other video I've watched, so thank you.
I once decided to listen to this album in it's entirety, and ended up falling asleep at some point, when I woke up, it was sometime during stage 4, and let me tell you, I have never felt so scared and disoriented in my life as I did at that very moment. I had to turn it off, and have since never gotten a chance to revisit it. Thank you for posting your fantastic video essay!
As for the clarity moments that happen at random, new research suggested that clinical stage 6 demented brains still fluctuate in terms of cerebral activity. When at random, that activity spikes, in a surprising manner, explaining the random moments of clarity.