Anxious attachment gets triggered so many times. I end up wondering I dealt with it the last time, why is it here again!? And then I realise I abandoned myself and gave all of my attention, energy and time to the person infront and not me. I realised the attention and love I seeked outside was a cry for help from my inner child.
At least you realized it. There’s so many folks that never do. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. We all struggle with some form of anxiety here and there. Just have to find the tools to worth through it. Put God first and you’ll receive all the love you need!
Bruh it’s CRAZYYYYY how accurate ur topics rrrrr. I just spent a whole day with this guy the day before my exam and was up so late studying when I could’ve jus seen him another day 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️I definitely need to stop letting my life fall apart for someone else
The energy of decentering men is not about hating men or not dating men. It just means you’re choosing to not centre your life around being seen, picked or liked by men, you focus on yourself and pour all the love into yourself. You learn to appreciate and love yourself without leaning on how many men pursue you. I enjoyed the podcast, I just didn’t agree on that point about putting our energy of decentering men 🙏🏾
This is crazy! Just checked my phone and been waiting for a response to a text I sent 18 hours ago. And I landed on this video. Not chasing!!! I’m focusing on myself now.
Yes same here waited 24hours for answer that is 3 words and my dululu thinks am in secure relationship with this man and i would die for this person. No more
This is so accurate. Wow has anyone ever felt anxious until the person finally says that it’s over or they want to break up? I would feel like I’m losing mind until they finally “put me out of my misery” so to speak. It was as if they didn’t validate what I already knew was coming next I was anxious waiting for the other shoe to drop. Which in actuality was probably not the case but because of my anxiety it drove them away.
Nope you’re not the only one. I was with an avoidant who I knew didn’t want me anymore but he kept showing up around me acting like he did, I let myself become a horrible person to him so he could tell me he didn’t want me anymore. My mindset was he does r have the guts to be honest so I am going to push him doing the most hurtful evil things that eventually he will tell me he doesn’t want me and I will have peace knowing that I got that answer instead of waiting forever for him to be honest
i was anxious because i wanted to break up but was scared of losing him. him breaking up with me wasn’t a release like i hoped it would be. i’m even more anxious than i was in the relationship
Wow I see a lot of women on here sharing their experiences with what it seems to be with dismissively avoidant men, and I don’t see many anxiously attached men here. I have an anxious preoccupied attachment style and relate to you all. Getting attached to an avoidant who isn’t willing to put the work into healing, HURTS. I relate to you all. I just got out of a 3 month situation-ship and man did I learn a lot more about navigating through the anxiety spiral. Boy o boy is it hard. What bothers me with the dating scene nowadays is people introduce you to a level of consistency that they can’t maintain. I’m sure deep down they want to give and receive that consistently but usually they just keep it consistent for the first 1-2 months. It’s so frustrating. Soothing your nervous system when triggered is so freaking hard. I found breathing exercises to help while in the midst of the storm. Journaling helps too. The nice self talk too is helpful. Affirmations to yourself is powerful. Like you touched on in the video, codependency is a sucker. Chasing that external validation is such a tough cycle to break out of but is so needed for us anxiously attached. This video made me feel better about my current situation. I’m not alone, and I see it. Thank you for sharing this video, and to all who have commented, you are not alone. We’re all on the same boat, together. We got this, one day at a time 🫂🫶🏼.
never needed a video so much. It was just 6 months but I lost so much of myself in that relationship. I’m only 4 days into the breakup/no contact/detachment and I’m so empty and emotional today. It ebbs and flows. I forgive, then I remember the little things that send me spiraling. it’s such a process. I feel like the relationship was a lesson, revealing to myself how real the anxious attachment within me is. I poured into him for months. I wish I could take it back, but I’m trying to just be present, feel & learn.
I’m praying for your healing!! I really respect your strength I’m still stuck in that relationship I don’t know how to get myself out of this situation or how to change sooooo anyone that was able to get out you have my full respect 💛
@@Lanina._ Thank you so much for saying this ❤️🩹 honestly, I would say to really ask your inner child if she would feel safe in the relationship you’re in right now or if she’d want you to speak up and get out. that’s what really did it for me. a lot of inner child work I didn’t know I needed. he treated me a lot like my dad treated me as a little girl and so it’s no wonder he brought out such intense anxious attachment issues from my psyche.
@@aeileen1844 sending you so much healing and love! 💖 Only four days into break up, be gentle with yourself, process all the emotions (the good and the bad). sadly some people trigger us more than others, you dont deserve that! Please don't wish you could take it back though, be so grateful that you have the capability to pour so much into someone (trust me, i know he didnt deserve it - my last relationship was the same), next time you will pour into the right one just think how loving that will be! 💝
I'm litterally living this relationship right now, he is really mature, healthy and I realised I'm the red flags. But I'm learning, I want to do the job and coming back to myself. Thank you for this video, I really had the impression that you were speaking to me. Old key won't open new doors, so it's time now to give love to myself, to my inner child. And surrender. Thank you.
Sitting here just filled with thoughts about what he’s up to while he’s not with me or texting me on a boys trip when in reality I should enjoy my me time. Thank u for the reminder to continue to choose me first always.
This video and the comment section are incredibly affirming. I've been actively working on unwavering confidence the last year and God doesn't just hand it over. Trigger after trigger and the answer: love yourself FIRST and ALWAYS!
I'm currently being ghosted by my long distance boyfriend for over a week now and you have NO IDEA how much this video just helped me ❤ Thank you so much! 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Yeah me too into a week now he moved away promise he’d come back and instantly blocked me on absolutely everything with no talk whatsoever no closure at all it’s been killing me even made a second account to check what he’s doing and he’s posing shirtless and had alresdy been following half naked girls and just basically moved on instantly after 2yrs of a very strong relationship with a big trauma bond, I really think we could have worked out and fixed it but oh well I’m still wondering why and why I remember spam calling him panicking for hours and trying to message him but just blocked blocked, it’s really really hard but these videos are helping a lot realising I’ve been putting myself behind and if he does come back I hope I’m fully healed and see my worth because I really didn’t deserve that…
really resonating with this right now. a 4-year situationship ended...where I focused all my attention on making it work and lost myself completely. meanwhile he never committed on any level and then dumped me. it's good to take accountability for what I did wrong and to promise myself I will never ever date an Avoidant again. in 4 years he didn't introduce me to his family even. I tolerated so much. Time to raise the bar so high, if a man doesn't jump , off he can go. Now I'm 'forced' to focus on my own well-being, job, home, art - and it's so much better than what that situationship ever provided. we deserve to prioritise ourselves ✨
I’m really so proud of you for finally taking your power back and realizing that you deserve more than what you were accepting. I love that you’re taking accountability and promising yourself a better future, it’s beautiful! Give yourself grace as I’m sure you know this was such a big learning lesson for you. The growth that follows this will be AMAZING 🤍🙏🏼
This video hits so close to home because I am 24 and I feel like I just became present in my own body...Keeping up with my appearance, giving myself grace, being my authentic self and now this is another thing I know needs work. I am 6 months into a relationship and these things manifest themselves. Heavy on the abondment issues. I am, however, not afraid to speak my mind and set boundaries but I definitely need to work on allowing space and distance...even tension. Glad I seen this video and I was able to conceptualize this. I was aware but now I can work towards changing my patterns. Of course, it takes time but this video was well needed for me....
Broke up with someone I love because deep down I knew I believed that putting his needs before mine was the path to love. Which totally isn’t true, and I was always stressing myself out trying to be there for him. Watched the first 7 minutes of this and started crying so hard omg. Safe space
Don’t let the internet gaslight you into telling a story that’s not yours! This message came right on time for me a reminder to keep doing the work and getting to that healthy space no matter what! ❤
I'm a dismissive avoidant currently reading Learning Love by Thais Gibson about attachment styles and healing them and it ahs been so helpful and such an eye opener knowing that 1. others experience what I do 2. i'm not broken just conditioned a certain way that I can recondition over time. Oh! I'm also reading your book that I bought last week...so identified with the body hate as a teenager. 😪
Ahh, i needed this today! The bit about remembering who you were before the relationship - i miss that me so much😭! On the healing journey to get back to that 💪 thank you for this!💖
Thank you I really needed this. I’m struggling and I don’t want to be at the mercy of someone else anymore. It’s time to give care to that little neglected girl and stop abandoning her. ❤
I have watched multiple videos on anxious attachment and I can tell you that the only one that was this specific and actually helped me was this one. I literally took notes. It helped me reflect on my own behaviour patterns, gave me actual workable solutions ❤ Thank you I really needed this!
I feel called out and seen at the same time. This couldn’t have come at a more accurate time. Two days ago I spent my night an anxious mess because I made myself get to a point of panic over a new guy who I thought I pushed away or hated me. But actually he may be securely attached and I just made up all these horrible things in my head? I need some serious healing… thanks for your insight! This was so good and I really need to heal that little girl who is really damaged from her upbringing. I really desire something healthy. And that starts with me putting in the work. Thanks chicka ❤❤
this was such a great podcast *subscribed* even being in a healthy relationship for 6 months that's been feeling like a dream like the first time meeting them, there's so many points you said that really resonate, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your own personal experiences and not just speaking about general topics without your connections it really speaks to your own realness !! peace love and prosper !! rooting for you too in your own journey
5:45 😢😢😢😢😢 relatable currently and I have a good person in my life right now. I need to provide me that same love. I found your page today and I appreciate you sharing your vulnerability.
5 minutes into the video I had to stop and journal. You completely read exactly my whole life especially in my relationship, now marriage. And I still got 56 minutes left of this podcast wow p.s. literally this is why I’m so anxious and now I’m going to make it a journey to hug my inner child a sweet little girl who felt like she had no voice and who feels abandoned.
This is what I really needed to hear right now. I’m currently stuck in that anxious spiral with my attention and energy focused on them. Even though I’m aware of this it is really hard to feel differently sometimes
Girl, you have no idea how grateful I am that I found you! You’ve been the key to my healing journey and it’s amazing how much I’ve learned about myself through you ❤
I wish I had known this about myself before marriage. It took me more than 5 hard years of struggling in my marriage to discover these deep truths about myself. It gets much better when you realize how you actually present in reality.
I NEEDED THIS. I watched your video how to trust yourself yesterday and I was like I need anxious attachment style one or about codependency and BOOM😭thank youu I love your videos!!!🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
this video is amazing. I’m 21 and going through my first break up and this made me realize I really do have anxious attachment. I’m glad I’m aware of it now.
its so crazy, everytime i come here to hear my girl talk whether its at work or cleaning around the house I always take some knowledge from you lovely lady!! love that you share your wisdom with people going through hard times
Yes. Everything that you have mentioned has resonated with me to my core. Lately, I’ve been feeling some type of way. And maybe it’s time for me to begin healing. Thank You.
Just wanted to say that i LITERALLY took notes while listening to this episode and i'll be checking these points every time i'm triggered, Thank you so much dear for this precious content it was so so so valid for me!! Sending you so much love and good energy
I just started this video and wow. I have been struggling with this hard lately. I realized that it’s not healthy. So I try to stay busy or distract myself. But sometimes I really struggle. You are always right on time !
i feel like ive always struggled with this, more on than off, sometimes feeling secure but then that feeling leaving shortly after. this helps me so much ty
I needed this video today, honestly this saved me. I have been losing myself by overanalysing a relationship I’m in. Since it’s a bit more permanent, the effects are hard hitting. But this helped me understand 2 things, meet the needs of your inner child and do not forget who you are!!
This video resonates so closely with how I have felt in my new relationship, caused by my self abandonment. You have some really grounding and calming advice, said with compassion. Brilliant video I’m sure I’ll come back to this when I need to calm my nerves. Thank you for sharing this :)
I really needed this ♥️ I’ve been manifesting love into my life but was scared because I know I have anxious attachment style. It’s good to know that I can regulate it while being in a relationship. I was scared I had to be “completely healed” in order to enter a healthy relationship 💕
When I say I have never felt so seen! Thank u for shedding light on this for the anxiously attached girlies! I just learned about my attachment style a few months ago after a bad breakup and I am taking steps to heal from it
I’m an only child with an absent father. I know I’m beautiful inside and out but it’s time to fully pour into myself! I learned from my past engagement I was so attached to him and now that the relationship is over I finally found my life again!
GOD literally put this video in my path. I’m in a 4 month talking stage right now and it’s been really hard to not be anxious when it comes to us not hanging out or talking. I just wanna be better for my inner child.
I've been struggling with this lately. My partner supports me and my love for creating content but lately I've been hyper focused on him because his been distant and busier with work. I've always known I needed to get out and do more, but I have little ones and it's cold out so we're not always outside but I did just take a walk and got back to doing my affirmations and trying to get back balanced. When I get like this I can't even get through editing a video. It's so crazy. I was also thinking more time with family would help. Especially with my father. We didn't really get close until I became an adult so that might help as well. I'm so glad this video found me because I never even considered I was abandoning my inner child. Thank you❤
my 1 1/2 year co dependent, toxic relationship ended 2 years ago. I just went on a second date the first time I‘m being serious in getting to know someone. But I‘m really scared of getting into old patterns and being naive. My last relationship really fucked me up and honestly I‘m pretty much attracted to red flags not on purpose tho. Coming here and seeing I‘m not alone in this, really reliefs me. Thank you for sharing this, your experience, your thoughts and feelings. I think resonating with this issue I feel empathy with you and I guess I can feel some for myself. I hope someday I can gain a healthy relationship with someone else but also with me, and I think you can do so too, anyone reading this.
This was so important for me to have heard. I was looking back if you had videos of examples working on you WHILE dating someone because it’s very hard to do both and this video was it!! I need this one, all your videos have been so kind and helpful to my growth this year. Thank you ☺️ Im here for a few more of these once and a while, 💕
girl i felt like you were talking to me personally, and i needed it. thank you❤ im currently in a healthy relationship, but i realized i let go the things that made me center back into myself because i centered myself into my relationship. currently in the process of tapping back into it me
This is your best video yet!!! I will save this to come back to review as I am going thru this journey. I feel like God sent this video at the right time. Thank you!!!!
Thank you so much, this is so helpful. ❤ I’ve just met a guy that is not really my type but I like him a lot. He wanted to date right away but I’ve just set my boundaries. In my mind I know it was the right thing to do but in my body and emotions I feel this huge need of getting him back. I think this is how much I need the emotional connection and reassurance from someone. Thank you for sharing your experience, it’s helping me to go through this craziness.
Thank you! Currently not in a relationship but I’m an actress and I see how anxiously attached I am to receiving jobs and money. Literally yesterday I realised that and you released this video ❤ and I see so many similarities between what you said and my thoughts and feelings on that topic. That is why I believe that our attachments style might affect not only our relationships with others but also other aspects of our lives and it’s so much important to heal it!
This is so insightful!! Our attachment styles definitely manifest in other areas of our lives as well, I’m really glad you were able to draw that connection 🤍
Oh lawwwwd, I really lost myself for a couple weeks there. He’s in Mexico for work. And I was supported him up until 4 days ago. He ghosted me again. Many times I will get so stressed that I can’t even cry. Thanks for a couple tears
Elicia! I am having the hardest time right now. The cry you described at the beginning of the video was me today. Instead of a man, my struggle is literally my job! My body truly responds in a negative way when I support myself! This is sick! 🤦🏾♀️😂 But you know what, I’m here, doing the work, crying through it. The results will come! My damaged nervous system will recoup! ❤️🥹🤞🏾 Where would I even be without your videos…. That’s scary to even consider! Thank you for all that you do! ✊🏾❤️🚨🍾💝🎊 Im getting you a Christmas gift, it’s official! Confession: I brought my first 2 Christmas sweaters yesterday at Walmart. They already have them out! 😂🎉🎄
I struggle with my jobs as well seems like something a lot of people do it’s just not talked about. I’m glad you brought attention to this bc it’s not always a person.
The problem is that it wasn't just anxious attachment to a significant other, but to family, friends, and anyone that was close to me. I think I was scared of losing them. So when I did, I had no one by my side anymore, lonely and empty. I wish I had started building up myself and my self-esteem so that I had something to fall back on. But! Better late than never. I'm surprised how your podcasts resonate with me. Aaand better to build from the ground up anyway Ps, why tf are people getting offended when you're just talking from your own experience ? It's better than making something up..imo..
Thank you so much for this video it really came at the right time! Was literally in tears yesterday because my anxious attachment was triggered by a healthy relationship or atleast one that appear to have potential to be so this is perfect for me right now feels like a huge hug thank you thank you thank you for your podcasts ❤
Yay!! Found your channel yesterday and sent it to a friend too. Changed my life immediately lol - i had so many realizations as you spoke and my boyfriend and I talked through all these things between us and also my mommy issues and I processed and healed so much and I feel like a new woman today!!❤❤❤
Love your honesty and your wisdom!! There will always b people who want to b offended you handled that with class ❤❤You spoke your truth ❤❤That’s all that matters
istg you are amazing, so emotionally mature and i LOVE your videos.this helped me loads. i've been dealing with this and i've been trying to work on this, incredible video and thoughts thank you for sharing your wisdom
Thank you so so much for making this video, I watched the entire thing and related to many many parts of it. There is someone Im talking to and I had started to display these behaviors, I probably ran him away now but this video was the eye opener I needed - now I know where I screwed up and can move differently next time.
Anxious attachment gets triggered so many times. I end up wondering I dealt with it the last time, why is it here again!? And then I realise I abandoned myself and gave all of my attention, energy and time to the person infront and not me. I realised the attention and love I seeked outside was a cry for help from my inner child.
Hey i can relate to you so much going through same can you help me a bit to knowing more about the fix
At least you realized it. There’s so many folks that never do. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. We all struggle with some form of anxiety here and there. Just have to find the tools to worth through it. Put God first and you’ll receive all the love you need!
@@ishu4696sure honey. Start by not being harsh with yourself. It helps. Start talking to you like you would to others when you are in love with them❤
Only 4 minutes in and everything is resonating because I'm currently healing from something similar that was going on for 3 years
Same! Thank you girl for your transparency ❤ it is soooo needed
I’m going through this right now today I choose myself. I choose that little girl. I will never abandon myself again
Good for you queen🙏🥰
I choose myself too ❤
Same
Bruh it’s CRAZYYYYY how accurate ur topics rrrrr. I just spent a whole day with this guy the day before my exam and was up so late studying when I could’ve jus seen him another day 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️I definitely need to stop letting my life fall apart for someone else
The energy of decentering men is not about hating men or not dating men. It just means you’re choosing to not centre your life around being seen, picked or liked by men, you focus on yourself and pour all the love into yourself. You learn to appreciate and love yourself without leaning on how many men pursue you.
I enjoyed the podcast, I just didn’t agree on that point about putting our energy of decentering men 🙏🏾
Yes, that’s true, but even when you manage to overcome it, you’re never completely safe from falling back into it.
This is crazy! Just checked my phone and been waiting for a response to a text I sent 18 hours ago. And I landed on this video. Not chasing!!! I’m focusing on myself now.
Yes same here waited 24hours for answer that is 3 words and my dululu thinks am in secure relationship with this man and i would die for this person. No more
This is so accurate. Wow has anyone ever felt anxious until the person finally says that it’s over or they want to break up? I would feel like I’m losing mind until they finally “put me out of my misery” so to speak. It was as if they didn’t validate what I already knew was coming next I was anxious waiting for the other shoe to drop. Which in actuality was probably not the case but because of my anxiety it drove them away.
I got so anxious where I called it off because he wasn’t going to and that’s the only way I would feel at ease in that moment….
Nope you’re not the only one. I was with an avoidant who I knew didn’t want me anymore but he kept showing up around me acting like he did, I let myself become a horrible person to him so he could tell me he didn’t want me anymore.
My mindset was he does r have the guts to be honest so I am going to push him doing the most hurtful evil things that eventually he will tell me he doesn’t want me and I will have peace knowing that I got that answer instead of waiting forever for him to be honest
i was anxious because i wanted to break up but was scared of losing him. him breaking up with me wasn’t a release like i hoped it would be. i’m even more anxious than i was in the relationship
Wow I see a lot of women on here sharing their experiences with what it seems to be with dismissively avoidant men, and I don’t see many anxiously attached men here. I have an anxious preoccupied attachment style and relate to you all. Getting attached to an avoidant who isn’t willing to put the work into healing, HURTS. I relate to you all. I just got out of a 3 month situation-ship and man did I learn a lot more about navigating through the anxiety spiral. Boy o boy is it hard.
What bothers me with the dating scene nowadays is people introduce you to a level of consistency that they can’t maintain. I’m sure deep down they want to give and receive that consistently but usually they just keep it consistent for the first 1-2 months. It’s so frustrating. Soothing your nervous system when triggered is so freaking hard. I found breathing exercises to help while in the midst of the storm. Journaling helps too. The nice self talk too is helpful. Affirmations to yourself is powerful.
Like you touched on in the video, codependency is a sucker. Chasing that external validation is such a tough cycle to break out of but is so needed for us anxiously attached. This video made me feel better about my current situation. I’m not alone, and I see it. Thank you for sharing this video, and to all who have commented, you are not alone. We’re all on the same boat, together. We got this, one day at a time 🫂🫶🏼.
never needed a video so much. It was just 6 months but I lost so much of myself in that relationship. I’m only 4 days into the breakup/no contact/detachment and I’m so empty and emotional today. It ebbs and flows. I forgive, then I remember the little things that send me spiraling. it’s such a process. I feel like the relationship was a lesson, revealing to myself how real the anxious attachment within me is. I poured into him for months. I wish I could take it back, but I’m trying to just be present, feel & learn.
I’m praying for your healing!! I really respect your strength I’m still stuck in that relationship I don’t know how to get myself out of this situation or how to change sooooo anyone that was able to get out you have my full respect 💛
@@Lanina._ Thank you so much for saying this ❤️🩹 honestly, I would say to really ask your inner child if she would feel safe in the relationship you’re in right now or if she’d want you to speak up and get out. that’s what really did it for me. a lot of inner child work I didn’t know I needed. he treated me a lot like my dad treated me as a little girl and so it’s no wonder he brought out such intense anxious attachment issues from my psyche.
@@aeileen1844 sending you so much healing and love! 💖 Only four days into break up, be gentle with yourself, process all the emotions (the good and the bad). sadly some people trigger us more than others, you dont deserve that! Please don't wish you could take it back though, be so grateful that you have the capability to pour so much into someone (trust me, i know he didnt deserve it - my last relationship was the same), next time you will pour into the right one just think how loving that will be! 💝
Sending you so so much love 🤍
Me too, very similar. X
I'm litterally living this relationship right now, he is really mature, healthy and I realised I'm the red flags. But I'm learning, I want to do the job and coming back to myself. Thank you for this video, I really had the impression that you were speaking to me. Old key won't open new doors, so it's time now to give love to myself, to my inner child. And surrender. Thank you.
I’m so proud of you 🥺
@@theglowupsecretspodcast ❤️
Sitting here just filled with thoughts about what he’s up to while he’s not with me or texting me on a boys trip when in reality I should enjoy my me time. Thank u for the reminder to continue to choose me first always.
This video and the comment section are incredibly affirming. I've been actively working on unwavering confidence the last year and God doesn't just hand it over. Trigger after trigger and the answer: love yourself FIRST and ALWAYS!
I'm currently being ghosted by my long distance boyfriend for over a week now and you have NO IDEA how much this video just helped me ❤ Thank you so much! 🙏🏻🙏🏻
You don’t deserve that :( sending you lots of love and strength today!!!! 🤍
@theglowupsecretspodcast Thank you ❤️
Hey hope ur okay.❤
Yeah me too into a week now he moved away promise he’d come back and instantly blocked me on absolutely everything with no talk whatsoever no closure at all it’s been killing me even made a second account to check what he’s doing and he’s posing shirtless and had alresdy been following half naked girls and just basically moved on instantly after 2yrs of a very strong relationship with a big trauma bond, I really think we could have worked out and fixed it but oh well I’m still wondering why and why I remember spam calling him panicking for hours and trying to message him but just blocked blocked, it’s really really hard but these videos are helping a lot realising I’ve been putting myself behind and if he does come back I hope I’m fully healed and see my worth because I really didn’t deserve that…
I'm glad I decided to give this a listen. I run into this in every romantic relationship and I'm sooooooo tired of it. Let's show up for ourselves.
I love how this says how to stop abandoning yourself in relationships because thats something not talked about enough
really resonating with this right now. a 4-year situationship ended...where I focused all my attention on making it work and lost myself completely. meanwhile he never committed on any level and then dumped me. it's good to take accountability for what I did wrong and to promise myself I will never ever date an Avoidant again.
in 4 years he didn't introduce me to his family even. I tolerated so much. Time to raise the bar so high, if a man doesn't jump , off he can go. Now I'm 'forced' to focus on my own well-being, job, home, art - and it's so much better than what that situationship ever provided. we deserve to prioritise ourselves ✨
I’m really so proud of you for finally taking your power back and realizing that you deserve more than what you were accepting. I love that you’re taking accountability and promising yourself a better future, it’s beautiful! Give yourself grace as I’m sure you know this was such a big learning lesson for you. The growth that follows this will be AMAZING 🤍🙏🏼
Thank you for this. I'm IN the craziness RIGHT NOW. I'm so much older than you and am ashamed I haven't fixed this yet. it's ruined my whole life.
This video hits so close to home because I am 24 and I feel like I just became present in my own body...Keeping up with my appearance, giving myself grace, being my authentic self and now this is another thing I know needs work. I am 6 months into a relationship and these things manifest themselves. Heavy on the abondment issues. I am, however, not afraid to speak my mind and set boundaries but I definitely need to work on allowing space and distance...even tension. Glad I seen this video and I was able to conceptualize this. I was aware but now I can work towards changing my patterns. Of course, it takes time but this video was well needed for me....
Broke up with someone I love because deep down I knew I believed that putting his needs before mine was the path to love. Which totally isn’t true, and I was always stressing myself out trying to be there for him. Watched the first 7 minutes of this and started crying so hard omg. Safe space
I know you've done a few episodes about anxious attachment, but pleaaase make more, this is resonating sooo much🦋
Thank you for healing people! I cried to this because I didn’t realize I had this attachment style😣
I love the way she explains stuff like how in 0:00-7:00 she was abondanding herself. “Her cries were so loud for a reason.” 100%relate!
7:00-8:00. 💋
Love the part of not being afraid to ask for help
Don’t let the internet gaslight you into telling a story that’s not yours! This message came right on time for me a reminder to keep doing the work and getting to that healthy space no matter what! ❤
I swear i needed you , literally i found your channel at the gym and i listened to two podcasts already . I needed you .
I'm a dismissive avoidant currently reading Learning Love by Thais Gibson about attachment styles and healing them and it ahs been so helpful and such an eye opener knowing that 1. others experience what I do 2. i'm not broken just conditioned a certain way that I can recondition over time. Oh! I'm also reading your book that I bought last week...so identified with the body hate as a teenager. 😪
Ahh, i needed this today! The bit about remembering who you were before the relationship - i miss that me so much😭! On the healing journey to get back to that 💪 thank you for this!💖
Thank you I really needed this. I’m struggling and I don’t want to be at the mercy of someone else anymore. It’s time to give care to that little neglected girl and stop abandoning her. ❤
I have watched multiple videos on anxious attachment and I can tell you that the only one that was this specific and actually helped me was this one. I literally took notes. It helped me reflect on my own behaviour patterns, gave me actual workable solutions ❤ Thank you I really needed this!
How does every video you post make me feel like you’re speaking directly to me 🤯
I feel called out and seen at the same time. This couldn’t have come at a more accurate time. Two days ago I spent my night an anxious mess because I made myself get to a point of panic over a new guy who I thought I pushed away or hated me. But actually he may be securely attached and I just made up all these horrible things in my head? I need some serious healing… thanks for your insight! This was so good and I really need to heal that little girl who is really damaged from her upbringing. I really desire something healthy. And that starts with me putting in the work. Thanks chicka ❤❤
this was such a great podcast *subscribed* even being in a healthy relationship for 6 months that's been feeling like a dream like the first time meeting them, there's so many points you said that really resonate, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your own personal experiences and not just speaking about general topics without your connections it really speaks to your own realness !! peace love and prosper !! rooting for you too in your own journey
5:45 😢😢😢😢😢 relatable currently and I have a good person in my life right now. I need to provide me that same love. I found your page today and I appreciate you sharing your vulnerability.
5 minutes into the video I had to stop and journal. You completely read exactly my whole life especially in my relationship, now marriage. And I still got 56 minutes left of this podcast wow p.s. literally this is why I’m so anxious and now I’m going to make it a journey to hug my inner child a sweet little girl who felt like she had no voice and who feels abandoned.
Who else can resonate so deeply with the first four minutes of this video?
This is what I really needed to hear right now. I’m currently stuck in that anxious spiral with my attention and energy focused on them. Even though I’m aware of this it is really hard to feel differently sometimes
Girl, you have no idea how grateful I am that I found you! You’ve been the key to my healing journey and it’s amazing how much I’ve learned about myself through you ❤
Ahhh I’m so happy that my advice is helping you!!! 🥰
I wish I had known this about myself before marriage. It took me more than 5 hard years of struggling in my marriage to discover these deep truths about myself. It gets much better when you realize how you actually present in reality.
literally found your channel today and this is my 3rd video. everything has resonated to a T and I can see myself improving 🥰
I don’t think I’ve ever watched a TH-cam video all the way through and genuinely listened and it help but this was amazing❤
I’m glad it resonated with you 🥰
I NEEDED THIS. I watched your video how to trust yourself yesterday and I was like I need anxious attachment style one or about codependency and BOOM😭thank youu I love your videos!!!🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
This is so accurate. Thank you. I abandoned myself for 8 years for a man who never treated me well and ended up being a serial cheater
this video is amazing. I’m 21 and going through my first break up and this made me realize I really do have anxious attachment. I’m glad I’m aware of it now.
This was so good. Saving it to come back and remind myself that boundaries are useful and centering myself should be the priority.
its so crazy, everytime i come here to hear my girl talk whether its at work or cleaning around the house I always take some knowledge from you lovely lady!! love that you share your wisdom with people going through hard times
Yes. Everything that you have mentioned has resonated with me to my core. Lately, I’ve been feeling some type of way. And maybe it’s time for me to begin healing. Thank You.
Just wanted to say that i LITERALLY took notes while listening to this episode and i'll be checking these points every time i'm triggered, Thank you so much dear for this precious content it was so so so valid for me!! Sending you so much love and good energy
I just started this video and wow. I have been struggling with this hard lately. I realized that it’s not healthy. So I try to stay busy or distract myself. But sometimes I really struggle. You are always right on time !
i feel like ive always struggled with this, more on than off, sometimes feeling secure but then that feeling leaving shortly after. this helps me so much ty
I needed this video today, honestly this saved me. I have been losing myself by overanalysing a relationship I’m in. Since it’s a bit more permanent, the effects are hard hitting. But this helped me understand 2 things, meet the needs of your inner child and do not forget who you are!!
This video resonates so closely with how I have felt in my new relationship, caused by my self abandonment. You have some really grounding and calming advice, said with compassion. Brilliant video I’m sure I’ll come back to this when I need to calm my nerves. Thank you for sharing this :)
I feel I need to get back and listen to this every week.
I CANNOT FATHOM HOW ACCURATE THIS IS! FOR ANYONE WHOS TRYNNA HEAL THIS ATTACHMENT. PLS TAKE THIS ADVICE TO HEART AND APPLYYYYY ❤😢
You’re brilliant. Just the energy and content I needed as an anxious person
Girl this episode ATE! Thank you so much. If we’re on the topic of relationships, jealousy in romantic relationships would be cool to discuss
I would be very interested in this topic!
I listened to this while driving and I had to keep replaying it because you get it!! This resonates with family/childhood trauma ❤
This is EXACTLY the conversation we needed to have, so much love and blessings honey. We deserve to feel safe 💛
I really needed this ♥️ I’ve been manifesting love into my life but was scared because I know I have anxious attachment style. It’s good to know that I can regulate it while being in a relationship. I was scared I had to be “completely healed” in order to enter a healthy relationship 💕
When I say I have never felt so seen! Thank u for shedding light on this for the anxiously attached girlies! I just learned about my attachment style a few months ago after a bad breakup and I am taking steps to heal from it
I’m an only child with an absent father. I know I’m beautiful inside and out but it’s time to fully pour into myself! I learned from my past engagement I was so attached to him and now that the relationship is over I finally found my life again!
GOD literally put this video in my path. I’m in a 4 month talking stage right now and it’s been really hard to not be anxious when it comes to us not hanging out or talking. I just wanna be better for my inner child.
Wow every single word you said was powerful for me. Also the fact your an only child makes me feel so so seen 🌹
You are doing the lords work
I've been struggling with this lately. My partner supports me and my love for creating content but lately I've been hyper focused on him because his been distant and busier with work. I've always known I needed to get out and do more, but I have little ones and it's cold out so we're not always outside but I did just take a walk and got back to doing my affirmations and trying to get back balanced. When I get like this I can't even get through editing a video. It's so crazy. I was also thinking more time with family would help. Especially with my father. We didn't really get close until I became an adult so that might help as well. I'm so glad this video found me because I never even considered I was abandoning my inner child. Thank you❤
You are dropping gems. Had to write some notes while listening to you. This is so helpful. Thank you ❤
don’t usually leave comments for this I did 😭😭😭👏👏👏 thank u girl!!
my 1 1/2 year co dependent, toxic relationship ended 2 years ago. I just went on a second date the first time I‘m being serious in getting to know someone. But I‘m really scared of getting into old patterns and being naive. My last relationship really fucked me up and honestly I‘m pretty much attracted to red flags not on purpose tho. Coming here and seeing I‘m not alone in this, really reliefs me. Thank you for sharing this, your experience, your thoughts and feelings. I think resonating with this issue I feel empathy with you and I guess I can feel some for myself.
I hope someday I can gain a healthy relationship with someone else but also with me, and I think you can do so too, anyone reading this.
So helpful… I’ve been struggling with anxious attachment issues for years. Your TH-cam channel is amazing. Love from Japan
This was so important for me to have heard.
I was looking back if you had videos of examples working on you WHILE dating someone because it’s very hard to do both and this video was it!!
I need this one, all your videos have been so kind and helpful to my growth this year.
Thank you ☺️
Im here for a few more of these once and a while, 💕
Man, I’m 51 & still learning this sh*t…
girl i felt like you were talking to me personally, and i needed it. thank you❤ im currently in a healthy relationship, but i realized i let go the things that made me center back into myself because i centered myself into my relationship. currently in the process of tapping back into it me
This is your best video yet!!! I will save this to come back to review as I am going thru this journey. I feel like God sent this video at the right time. Thank you!!!!
this video gave me so much clarity and is a part of my therapy lol
I needed every word of this video. This is my first time listening to your content and I thank you!
I Know this excruciating feeling of anxious desperation to well.... 😢 Spot on video!! I 🙏🙏
You articulate all these ideas so well! Thank you so much for expressing all this❤
I thank you so much for your amazing content. You’re literally a mirror for me. And I enjoy learning from you
This is so rich in wisdom and helpful. Thank you!
reached me on a Sunday! The Sunday service I needed!
Wow, this is my people. This anxious attachment makes me feel like I'm going crazy.
I always choose myself! I just care about them!!! The one who ever showed up for me is me myself.
Thank you so much, this is so helpful. ❤ I’ve just met a guy that is not really my type but I like him a lot. He wanted to date right away but I’ve just set my boundaries. In my mind I know it was the right thing to do but in my body and emotions I feel this huge need of getting him back. I think this is how much I need the emotional connection and reassurance from someone. Thank you for sharing your experience, it’s helping me to go through this craziness.
Thank you! Currently not in a relationship but I’m an actress and I see how anxiously attached I am to receiving jobs and money. Literally yesterday I realised that and you released this video ❤ and I see so many similarities between what you said and my thoughts and feelings on that topic. That is why I believe that our attachments style might affect not only our relationships with others but also other aspects of our lives and it’s so much important to heal it!
This is so insightful!! Our attachment styles definitely manifest in other areas of our lives as well, I’m really glad you were able to draw that connection 🤍
Oh lawwwwd, I really lost myself for a couple weeks there. He’s in Mexico for work. And I was supported him up until 4 days ago. He ghosted me again. Many times I will get so stressed that I can’t even cry. Thanks for a couple tears
Elicia! I am having the hardest time right now. The cry you described at the beginning of the video was me today. Instead of a man, my struggle is literally my job! My body truly responds in a negative way when I support myself! This is sick! 🤦🏾♀️😂 But you know what, I’m here, doing the work, crying through it. The results will come! My damaged nervous system will recoup! ❤️🥹🤞🏾
Where would I even be without your videos…. That’s scary to even consider! Thank you for all that you do! ✊🏾❤️🚨🍾💝🎊
Im getting you a Christmas gift, it’s official!
Confession: I brought my first 2 Christmas sweaters yesterday at Walmart. They already have them out! 😂🎉🎄
I struggle with my jobs as well seems like something a lot of people do it’s just not talked about. I’m glad you brought attention to this bc it’s not always a person.
The problem is that it wasn't just anxious attachment to a significant other, but to family, friends, and anyone that was close to me. I think I was scared of losing them. So when I did, I had no one by my side anymore, lonely and empty. I wish I had started building up myself and my self-esteem so that I had something to fall back on.
But! Better late than never. I'm surprised how your podcasts resonate with me. Aaand better to build from the ground up anyway
Ps, why tf are people getting offended when you're just talking from your own experience ? It's better than making something up..imo..
Thank you so much for this video it really came at the right time! Was literally in tears yesterday because my anxious attachment was triggered by a healthy relationship or atleast one that appear to have potential to be so this is perfect for me right now feels like a huge hug thank you thank you thank you for your podcasts ❤
Yay!! Found your channel yesterday and sent it to a friend too. Changed my life immediately lol - i had so many realizations as you spoke and my boyfriend and I talked through all these things between us and also my mommy issues and I processed and healed so much and I feel like a new woman today!!❤❤❤
Ugh I’m sad that every video resonates and I’ve thought I’m so pick me but I’m just so hurt and need so much gentleness around me
you genuinely helped me a lot thank you❤️
Love your honesty and your wisdom!! There will always b people who want to b offended you handled that with class ❤❤You spoke your truth ❤❤That’s all that matters
istg you are amazing, so emotionally mature and i LOVE your videos.this helped me loads. i've been dealing with this and i've been trying to work on this, incredible video and thoughts thank you for sharing your wisdom
YO THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED!
You cook with every podcast episode omg. Love you doooown!!!
I love when your videos are exactly what is needed right now, thank you for the confirmation!!! Keep doing your thing!
Right on time with where I’m at. Thanks so much- such a great video!! I took detailed notes 📝
This video was so helpful. All of the advice given was needed. I will apply these things. Thank you
I’m really so glad to hear that 🤍
Thank you so so much for making this video, I watched the entire thing and related to many many parts of it. There is someone Im talking to and I had started to display these behaviors, I probably ran him away now but this video was the eye opener I needed - now I know where I screwed up and can move differently next time.
This was spot on for me so glad I came across this video! You’ve earned a new subscriber 🙌🏾
Thank you so much for this. Really! I’m going to listen to it more than once.