I was giving so much to a guy just for validation and love and it was manipulative and inauthentic. I liked him but the love I thought I felt for him was the love I needed for myself. The little girl in me, needed me and needed to be heard and not neglected by me. He kinda never mattered but was an excellent mirror to what I needed to have reflected and excavated. ❤
OH MY GOD. Recently starting a new relationship for the first time in a couple years, thought I was a detached girly who was healed until I was tested! Turns out I’m still super anxiously attached and got triggered. This video was EVERYTHING I NEEDED today!! Thank you so much.
I once heard something from a doctor specialist in this topic she said ‘ attachment style is created in a relationship ( with the caregiver) , developed in relationship, and can only be changed in a relationship’ that one hit me so hard so I started working on mine while being in a relationship and it worked
Same! Single for 3 years, focused on all of my routines, health, and overall well being. I thought I was solid! I’m now in a relationship and back at square one but consistently working through this! Best of wishes!
I just left a relationship with a person that just could NOT communicate or accept any kind of responsibility. That was so frustrating. Afterwards, I kept trying to figure out what went wrong and how someone could possibly think like this. I just started learning about attachment styles this year. I just cannot with avoidants. Now I am learning how to deal with my emotions and not let it affect my day. Easier said than done for sure but one step at a time!
What I love about Elicia is that there’s ALWAYS CONTENT, took a lil break from TH-cam now I can BINGE cuz she’s THAT girl 😴 lemme get back on my a game😵💫😴
This video is exactly what I needed. I just recently accepted that I have a pattern of falling into relationships with an anxious- avoidant attachment dynamic. I definitely have an anxious attachment style and I’m subconsciously attracted to avoidant men.
Things I'd LOVE to hear more about: - how to manifest and bring in a secure loving relationship. I've been single 24yrs nearly and naturally feel like all evidence in my love life shows I'm not chosen or good enough. E.g. My friends get approached by men but I. ever do, hence it reinforces my past self beliefs. I personally have a disorganised attachment style as well - finding your own hobbies (esp overcoming laziness and actually getting myself out of my house in order to even do this) - how to actually rest? my default is to journal or just watch TV which (TV) doesn't always help lots of love 💕💕
challenge the stories you tell yourself in your "fall" and realize that you've been playing out a made up story to make sense of that fall. well, you can now reframe it into a more favorable one. thanks for the reminder!
23:31 This is the video is what I needed , I was in a Situationship for 13 year. The whole 13 years he would future fake with me and give me all these excuses why we couldn’t be together then he will discard me when he finds somebody else and gets into a relationship and block me and when that relationship ended, he will come back to me and future fake with me playing in my face and all this stuff. I allow him to do this to me for 13 years Last year out nowhere I just blocked him and then this year he randomly message me, I didn’t message back, but I felt bad because I know how horrible it is to be ghosted because he’s done that to me for years where I would be block for years while he’s in a relationship and then he’ll come right back , but you have a valid point I should be allowed to do it to him. Over the year when I would try to end it I would spent time explaining to why this was not healthy for me and I would let him get in my ears and be right back this time just block and I feel so freeing
I kept looking at the thumbnail and really didnt want to watxh this video. But my goodness im glad im watching it. I really needed to hesr the part where the attention you put on others should be put on you. Wow❤❤❤❤❤ thank you for this message.
I never knew you before this video. THANK YOU for covering this topic of “not bothering with avoidant people”. At this point in life even while watching the video I am so “drained” of my whole dynamic. Everyone in my family and even my bf are very avoidant and me being the person with anxious attachment I always am left feeling so weird.
Sis I’m so grateful for your presence in the world/my life !!! I’m going through a crazy metamorphosis 🦋in life and your content has been the best supplement along with my personal care village to really assist with my healing and evolution thank you for being apart of that 🤍🤍🤍 Peace and so many Blessings to you !!!
I love you! I dont think you understand how much I needed to see this, I literally came on TH-cam to find a video on these exact topics & this came up on the main page before I even typed anything in! It was meant to be! You are a blessing & so amazing at what you do!
I am so so happy that you made a podcast. I resonate with your content so much more with this format!! I needed to hear every single thing you said in this video. I’ve been doing shadow work to overcome my anxious attachment style and this just reaffirmed me so much. Thank you girly🩷
This video is EXACTLY what I needed Thank you❤ (My fiancé and I are forced to do long distance for a while and my anxious attachment patterns unfortunately have been stronger than ever😟)
been struggling a lot with anxious attachment in friendships these days, and your videos always help me and make me feel seen and understood. i've been listening to your podcast non-stop. thank you so much, and here's a huge hug for us all 🫂💖
Im at the 5:11 mark and all thats popping up into my head is that i need to leave my bd & just move back home & start over. Im tired of having to put myself last all the time.
I love listening to you speak everyday!!! I feel soo focused and content ❤ You speak life in me ❤ I have been hitting all my daily goals since I started listening to 🎉It’s all about mindset honestly
GIRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLL ! you are me up this whole video😭 definitely subscribed ! i needed this so so so bad ! thank you 🥺🥺i need to work on my anxious attachment
The way this was EVERYTHING I needed in this very moment. Idk how this wound up as something i needed to view but omg, I’m SO glad it did. Thank you, thank you, thank you ❤
This was a great video, literally have listened to it 6x over the last week. Thank you, I needed to hear all of this and is really helping me change some things in my life
I’m a Pisces & I love that your content actually workssssssss for me. A lot of content & tips are very basic & obvious to me but , this?? every-time you speak I be like OKK! 📝 📝 📝 it makes me comfortable diving more into myself without feeling scared! Finding your page will guide me through the remainder of my foundational remolding this year, truly making sure all my cracks & crevices are cleaned before I step back out into the world🩷
i thank you for releasing this video & i thank myself for coming across you! u clocked my tea real bad lollll but i appreciate it. you have a new subscriber 💞
Hey Gorgeous! I love that you never stop preaching about Self worth, self respect & relationship with self and others.. When ever slip up again, I just come back to watch your new videos. It really speaks to me and help me every time. I think sometimes when you finally learned a lesson, you get tired of it & don't really relate to people who still struggle with it anymore but I am extremally grateful that you still care and very passionate about these things. I hope I don't have to keep coming back to these videos HAHAH! but just know that you're really helping and changing people's life out here. So thank you, I hope the universe surprises you with many gifts
She has served again 🥰 coupled things that resonated -certain toxic creators and their similar supporter base -the crappy automated belief system that I , and other surely face . I kinda see it as autopilot. As soon as something slightly unfavorable or ambiguous occurs it automatically goes to “it’s because you’re dumb, you are bad , etc” not only relationships but in job searching … almost like a inner villain . -these stories often become intensified from social media and society like you said thanks for these :) keeps me so grounded and back to a more calm motivated state
Wow thank you Elicia. The way you put things really resonates and is so helpful in my period of reflection. I’ve been working at this for years and I’m so proud of how I’m improving and we’re all improving ❤️
(These are annotations that I found important from the video personally. It covers a lot of the video. I also added on more points to highlight. Feel free to read 💓) NOTES/ANNOTATIONS FOR ME: 6:00 to gain power and control one must 7:00 respect themselves so others can replicate That behavior back onto you 9:01 must do respect to others too to get it ourselves (step 1, love ourselves, then step 2 love others to get the love we want back) 10:46 don’t always trust social medias “ideally perfect” nature of creators and the commenters, because sometimes the followers are a reflection of their leader 11:46 behind the scenes/ the meaning of manifestation 12:57 Brains like to create a conclusion on the things around us to benefit ourselves and our beliefs, altering the true reality 19:00 avoidant people: a shared parental experience I have with my family too 19:21 I could see this to be a reason why my mom was avoidant with me /neglected my feelings/ hurt me 23:57 if people are okay with stepping away from you without guilt, then you can be too, don’t be too caring when you don’t need to be/when it ends up hurting you 24:22 (my added info) we do it to ourselves because we feel like a bad/selfish person if we don’t, without realizing we hurt ourselves in the process ADDITIONALS: - you don’t have to be desperate with people, rather show one that you care for a moment and Then negotiate If they want to reciprocate, and show yourself that you don’t need the attention of the other party(example, "I just applied for the position at your company. Please call me back whenever you can (aka please I really need this job, plz respond to me)" 🚫 "hey just wanted to let you know I have contacted you a few times, but I have not heard back. I would like to know what we can do from here and what is to be said going forward."✅
Pls make more videoes about this and thank you. U can't imagine how much u helped me i was going through it i didn't get a text back but instead of letting him go i over texted him
“Please stop seeking safety within an avoidant person” 👏🏻👏🏻 that is such a good way to put it
My favorite quote from this video! Whew!
I was giving so much to a guy just for validation and love and it was manipulative and inauthentic. I liked him but the love I thought I felt for him was the love I needed for myself. The little girl in me, needed me and needed to be heard and not neglected by me. He kinda never mattered but was an excellent mirror to what I needed to have reflected and excavated. ❤
this comment...... wow omg..... literally felt i unlocked some sort of answer i had been searching for for so long
@@user-ef4de6ds6f ❤ SAME!! ❤
“The love I thought I felt for him was the love I needed for myself” I felt that in my SOUL 🤦🏻♀️😯 thank you.
Beautifully said, @tifftreads ! Wow, I felt that. You're like the word goddess rn. ❤️ 💯
I felt this so deeply
OH MY GOD. Recently starting a new relationship for the first time in a couple years, thought I was a detached girly who was healed until I was tested! Turns out I’m still super anxiously attached and got triggered. This video was EVERYTHING I NEEDED today!! Thank you so much.
I once heard something from a doctor specialist in this topic she said ‘ attachment style is created in a relationship ( with the caregiver) , developed in relationship, and can only be changed in a relationship’ that one hit me so hard so I started working on mine while being in a relationship and it worked
Same! Single for 3 years, focused on all of my routines, health, and overall well being. I thought I was solid! I’m now in a relationship and back at square one but consistently working through this! Best of wishes!
I just left a relationship with a person that just could NOT communicate or accept any kind of responsibility. That was so frustrating. Afterwards, I kept trying to figure out what went wrong and how someone could possibly think like this. I just started learning about attachment styles this year. I just cannot with avoidants. Now I am learning how to deal with my emotions and not let it affect my day. Easier said than done for sure but one step at a time!
What I love about Elicia is that there’s ALWAYS CONTENT, took a lil break from TH-cam now I can BINGE cuz she’s THAT girl 😴 lemme get back on my a game😵💫😴
18:41 “shoutout to the avoidant men. you guys are so stoic.” i cackled
your podcast gives me life💛
It’s so funny and interesting bc the person I think of on the topic off this video said he like to practice stoicism 🥲🥴😭
I'm a 22 year old man that never knew this was exactly what i needed to hear and get drilled in my head
“Be the change you wish to see” 💗
I’m a guy but I’m still supporting ❤
Just went through a really bad breakup with an avoidant person.. thank you so much for this
Me too 😢
This video is exactly what I needed. I just recently accepted that I have a pattern of falling into relationships with an anxious- avoidant attachment dynamic. I definitely have an anxious attachment style and I’m subconsciously attracted to avoidant men.
GIVE GIRLIE HER 10's🤗🤗🤗
cuz she really ate this tf up!!!!!!!!!!!
I needed everythingggg she said in this video🥲👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾wow🥹🥹🥹♥️♥️♥️🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾😤😤😤🔥🔥🔥
Things I'd LOVE to hear more about:
- how to manifest and bring in a secure loving relationship. I've been single 24yrs nearly and naturally feel like all evidence in my love life shows I'm not chosen or good enough. E.g. My friends get approached by men but I. ever do, hence it reinforces my past self beliefs. I personally have a disorganised attachment style as well
- finding your own hobbies (esp overcoming laziness and actually getting myself out of my house in order to even do this)
- how to actually rest? my default is to journal or just watch TV which (TV) doesn't always help
lots of love 💕💕
This is one of THEEEEE best videos I’ve seen about anxious attachment!! My anxious, adhd brain thanks you, you definitely have a new follower! ❤❤
challenge the stories you tell yourself in your "fall" and realize that you've been playing out a made up story to make sense of that fall. well, you can now reframe it into a more favorable one. thanks for the reminder!
23:31 This is the video is what I needed , I was in a Situationship for 13 year. The whole 13 years he would future fake with me and give me all these excuses why we couldn’t be together then he will discard me when he finds somebody else and gets into a relationship and block me and when that relationship ended, he will come back to me and future fake with me playing in my face and all this stuff. I allow him to do this to me for 13 years Last year out nowhere I just blocked him and then this year he randomly message me, I didn’t message back, but I felt bad because I know how horrible it is to be ghosted because he’s done that to me for years where I would be block for years while he’s in a relationship and then he’ll come right back , but you have a valid point I should be allowed to do it to him. Over the year when I would try to end it I would spent time explaining to why this was not healthy for me and I would let him get in my ears and be right back this time just block and I feel so freeing
Congrats queen ❤❤❤❤
I kept looking at the thumbnail and really didnt want to watxh this video. But my goodness im glad im watching it. I really needed to hesr the part where the attention you put on others should be put on you. Wow❤❤❤❤❤ thank you for this message.
I never knew you before this video. THANK YOU for covering this topic of “not bothering with avoidant people”. At this point in life even while watching the video I am so “drained” of my whole dynamic. Everyone in my family and even my bf are very avoidant and me being the person with anxious attachment I always am left feeling so weird.
Sis I’m so grateful for your presence in the world/my life !!! I’m going through a crazy metamorphosis 🦋in life and your content has been the best supplement along with my personal care village to really assist with my healing and evolution thank you for being apart of that 🤍🤍🤍 Peace and so many Blessings to you !!!
Keep making videos like this, this is amazing thank you
I love you! I dont think you understand how much I needed to see this, I literally came on TH-cam to find a video on these exact topics & this came up on the main page before I even typed anything in! It was meant to be! You are a blessing & so amazing at what you do!
This changed my entire mindset
Thank you so much
I am so so happy that you made a podcast. I resonate with your content so much more with this format!! I needed to hear every single thing you said in this video. I’ve been doing shadow work to overcome my anxious attachment style and this just reaffirmed me so much. Thank you girly🩷
i really needed those insight, thank you !
Perfect!!!
Oh thank God I found you girl. This podcast is everything ❤ subscribed 👏🥰
This podcast is so powerful.
This video literally saved my life. I needed to hear all of this. Be my own safe space. I choose me❤
This video is EXACTLY what I needed
Thank you❤
(My fiancé and I are forced to do long distance for a while and my anxious attachment patterns unfortunately have been stronger than ever😟)
Awww babe sorry to hear this but I’m glad you’re doing what you can to work on this for yourself and your relationship ❤️🩹 YOU got this!!
When i tell you this woman is saving lives with hwr message. She's inspiration and motivation. I love it!❤
WHEEEEW this was such a great video, it felt like a deep conversation that I really needed. Thank you so much ! I have subscribed 😊
THIS EPISODE IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED RN
5 minutes in & already this is something that I really needed! 😭
bro the timing of this video was a personal attack
been struggling a lot with anxious attachment in friendships these days, and your videos always help me and make me feel seen and understood. i've been listening to your podcast non-stop. thank you so much, and here's a huge hug for us all 🫂💖
Im at the 5:11 mark and all thats popping up into my head is that i need to leave my bd & just move back home & start over. Im tired of having to put myself last all the time.
Wow! 🥹
You keep giving and giving exactly what I am needing to hear in my life right now. 💯
Thank you Elicia! 🫶🏼
You have no idea how much you’re getting me through this time period THANK YOU
I love listening to you speak everyday!!! I feel soo focused and content ❤ You speak life in me ❤ I have been hitting all my daily goals since I started listening to 🎉It’s all about mindset honestly
You really just keep giving, and we are all so grateful for you Elicia!!!! THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank u so much for this video this i the best video i could ever hear right now. ❤
GIRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLL ! you are me up this whole video😭 definitely subscribed ! i needed this so so so bad ! thank you 🥺🥺i need to work on my anxious attachment
Bro called me out in 5 different languages😭😭 thank you needed to hear this love your videos!!!🫶🏻
I just realised I have this attachtment style and it feels good to finally understanding why i hvae been pouring soo much on other.
The way this was EVERYTHING I needed in this very moment. Idk how this wound up as something i needed to view but omg, I’m SO glad it did. Thank you, thank you, thank you ❤
This was a great video, literally have listened to it 6x over the last week. Thank you, I needed to hear all of this and is really helping me change some things in my life
I’m a Pisces & I love that your content actually workssssssss for me. A lot of content & tips are very basic & obvious to me but , this?? every-time you speak I be like OKK! 📝 📝 📝 it makes me comfortable diving more into myself without feeling scared! Finding your page will guide me through the remainder of my foundational remolding this year, truly making sure all my cracks & crevices are cleaned before I step back out into the world🩷
PISCES 🙋🏼🙋🏼🙋🏼🙋🏼🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
I just found your content and it’s giving me confirmation after confirmation ❤ Thank You
This entire vid hit me right where it needed to. Thanks friend!
i thank you for releasing this video & i thank myself for coming across you! u clocked my tea real bad lollll but i appreciate it. you have a new subscriber 💞
Wow you are on fire girl. This is amazing 🔥🔥
Hey Gorgeous! I love that you never stop preaching about Self worth, self respect & relationship with self and others.. When ever slip up again, I just come back to watch your new videos. It really speaks to me and help me every time. I think sometimes when you finally learned a lesson, you get tired of it & don't really relate to people who still struggle with it anymore but I am extremally grateful that you still care and very passionate about these things. I hope I don't have to keep coming back to these videos HAHAH! but just know that you're really helping and changing people's life out here. So thank you, I hope the universe surprises you with many gifts
That was so beautiful! Thank you so much for saying this 🤍🤍🤍 I got you girl ☺️
She has served again 🥰
coupled things that resonated
-certain toxic creators and their similar supporter base
-the crappy automated belief system that I , and other surely face . I kinda see it as autopilot. As soon as something slightly unfavorable or ambiguous occurs it automatically goes to “it’s because you’re dumb, you are bad , etc” not only relationships but in job searching … almost like a inner villain .
-these stories often become intensified from social media and society like you said
thanks for these :) keeps me so grounded and back to a more calm motivated state
I appreciate YOU 🤍❤️🩹
Im in my healing era and I truly needed to hear this ❤ just subscribed
Elicia you’re a guardian Angel ❤Seeems like you understand 😭what I’m truly going through right now I neeed to hear this
Love that episode. We are so in tune. ❤ My exact insights in this leo season. More shedding and redirecting than manifesting. Clean slate.
Wow thank you Elicia. The way you put things really resonates and is so helpful in my period of reflection. I’ve been working at this for years and I’m so proud of how I’m improving and we’re all improving ❤️
girllll i needed this 😭
You absolutely ATE, Elicia. You ATE. Thanks for this podcast and your knowledge girl
I said yes to posting this on insta poll!!! I knew it was info I needed, because sameeee!!! I love you and thank youuu
Girlllll, this video couldn’t come at a better time…divine timing, let me tell ya
😍😍😍😍
this is lifechanging, thank you
I really needed this, I have bpd and I've been looking for something like this for months
Love this!! Wishing you so much success and blessings! The world needs to hear you!
oh now this is one of my favorite videos that u made so far 💗
Thank you so much for this content . I just came across your page. This helps me MORE THAN YOU KNOW!!! Thank you ❤ definitely following .
Whew she went in today she’s keeping it 💯💯💯💯😅😅 still working Thur this everyday too anxious too often overthinking etc 😫😫😫❤❤❤❤
Girl , this is valuable.. second go around on listening.
Thank you, I needed this. This was perfect ❤
Had to come back and listen to this a second time, needed you to remind me of these things 🥵
I am so grateful for your content! ❤
❤❤❤ Thank you…you’re always on point and on time with your messages 🙏🏽
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 just another great video! Thank you as always you just always know what to put out and when! 🧘🏾♀️🧘🏾♀️
13:05
This is why Elicia is successful, she understands WHY humans have these bad habits
This video is everything! ❤
Watching many of your episodes after heartbreak ❤❤
Thank you do much for this, you have nailed it❤
thank you for sharing this 🙏🏿 I needed to see this & watch this....✨💗
I needed to hear allll of this! This is me currently to a T! Thank you for this ❤
(These are annotations that I found important from the video personally. It covers a lot of the video. I also added on more points to highlight. Feel free to read 💓)
NOTES/ANNOTATIONS FOR ME:
6:00 to gain power and control one must 7:00 respect themselves so others can replicate That behavior back onto you
9:01 must do respect to others too to get it ourselves (step 1, love ourselves, then step 2 love others to get the love we want back)
10:46 don’t always trust social medias “ideally perfect” nature of creators and the commenters, because sometimes the followers are a reflection of their leader
11:46 behind the scenes/ the meaning of manifestation
12:57 Brains like to create a conclusion on the things around us to benefit ourselves and our beliefs, altering the true reality
19:00 avoidant people: a shared parental experience I have with my family too 19:21 I could see this to be a reason why my mom was avoidant with me /neglected my feelings/ hurt me
23:57 if people are okay with stepping away from you without guilt, then you can be too, don’t be too caring when you don’t need to be/when it ends up hurting you 24:22 (my added info) we do it to ourselves because we feel like a bad/selfish person if we don’t, without realizing we hurt ourselves in the process
ADDITIONALS:
- you don’t have to be desperate with people, rather show one that you care for a moment and Then negotiate If they want to reciprocate, and show yourself that you don’t need the attention of the other party(example, "I just applied for the position at your company. Please call me back whenever you can (aka please I really need this job, plz respond to me)" 🚫 "hey just wanted to let you know I have contacted you a few times, but I have not heard back. I would like to know what we can do from here and what is to be said going forward."✅
You aced the class my friend 💅🏽
🔥
I love this soo much. Yes. To everything you are saying.
🔥 🔥 🔥
Yessss 🙌🏽 needed to hear this today
i have been lovinggg this series ♡
I really loved this message ❤
Oh my freaking goodness i should have been watching you. ❤
I think an episode i would love to see is how to live with someone whose choices have stressed you out. And learning acceptance
So happy I found this video!
Thank you for this, I needed this today
I’ve never felt so understood.
Thanks for the eye opener ❤
Thank you, Elicia❤❤
Yes re-listen for the Taurus full moon
looove seeing your podcast channel grow! this episode is gonna be a repeat if i ever need a pep talk lol
i really needed this!
I love you girl. Thank you!❤
Thank u Girl!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really thank u so much❤
wow this is literally me. great video!!!
I really needed this
Pls make more videoes about this and thank you. U can't imagine how much u helped me i was going through it i didn't get a text back but instead of letting him go i over texted him
Could you please talk about being vulnerable and how to know when it’s safe to do so
Omg you just ate me alive 🤦🏾♀️ but I needed it 😭🤣