Should You Withdraw When You Are Depressed?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 มี.ค. 2017
- In this video, author and depression survivor Douglas Bloch talks about how a person can overcome the tendency to isolate when he or she is in the middle of a depressive episode.
To visit my personal website which contains links to all of my books, websites, and newsletters, go to douglasbloch.com
To visit my depression recovery website, go to healingfromdepression.com
To visit my website on suicide prevention, go to www.overcomingsuicidalpain.com
To contribute to this channel so that its healing information can reach more people, visit / douglasbloch
To sign up for a free newsletter that provides valuable e-tips for healing from depression, click here: forms.aweber.com/form/75/2116...
Music: Somatou by Kakurenbo courtesy of freemusicarchive.org/music/Kak... through a Creative Commons License. - ภาพยนตร์และแอนิเมชัน
![[Live] : ONE 167 วันนี้!! "ตะวันฉาย vs โจ"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/D9_dvfIa6Ao/mqdefault.jpg)
I get upset because I am not enjoying things like other people are. Like I am in a fog and it is more painful to see others be alive when I feel dead inside. Then I isolate.
yup, me too
Me too☹ Did you get any better?
I'am struggling from this phase of chronic depression since 2009, I do Everything like Meditation, Travel, on Antidepressants from 2013 & still going on..
I PRAY to GOD for EVERBODY, This is all I can express. "In the end it really doesn't matter"- LATE CHESTER BENNINGTON 😔
I can so relate to those words ⛅💛
Your format is excellent. Very long videos aren't suitable for depressed people ,so keeping them short and to the point is the best way to go. I tune in always for a quick fix of positivity.
Thank you. I will be doing a live You Tube Q&A video chat in 12 hours, at noon Pacific Time Sunday, October 29. I hope you can join in.
My friend texed me last night to go for lunch with her for today I said thank you but no , listening to you guys going to tex her and say I will go for lunch x Thank you so much x 😇🙏one step further today for recovery 🙏🙏🙏
Just being there is a lot
Sometimes I find company too much everything feels too loud too bright like I have no skin and my nerve endings are exposed.
When that happens, it is a good idea to retreat to a safe place with no stimuli. You probably need to see people one at a time or in small numbers because of your sensitive nervous system.
Same.
So well explained... Didn't know others felt that way.
Thank you for this video. I realize I haven't told anyone how sad I am, that I don't want to be a burden to people but I think this video is really inspiring me to reach out to people.
Yes Sarah, reaching out to others is the second pillar of my mental health recovery program. It is essential. Here is a video I did on social support. Click on the play button. www.healingfromdepression.com/portland-oregon-depression-support-groups.htm
Douglas Bloch thanks! I realize I’m depressed because I’m codependent. I’ve always felt not good enough and my recent divorce caused me to go into PTSD and depression. It’s my goal to find a support group because I realize i tend to isolate myself and that needs to stop.
Being around toxic people when your depressed is horrible. Don't count on them to help you out of it. You must get outside help. That's what I'm about to do. If not I'd be in this forever. Toxic people don't want you to get better. Being ill makes you easier to manipulate.
Let each other finish talking. It's a important listening skill. Thankyou
In some people with mental illness, they say that they "hear voices", I say "Everyone!! hears voices, it's called a conscience.!
in my experience, if you have depression for over 3 months, people don't want to know. Every friend and family member has basically wiped their hands of me
I am sorry to hear that. You might want to find a counselor to talk to. Also contact your local branch of NAMI-national alliance on mental illness. Go to this link and scroll down to the bottom of the page.
www.nami.org/Find-Support
i have been several years too..i cant even tell my friend but i have told just two of them but i think myself i can handle why i share them shit man... they have their own matter dammn i expect for attention..and i'm ok with my pain.. fighting.and i even cant tell to my family too..trying to find support.. Anne if you too depress like me try to find groups because im hopeless but also trying to find a support group.
Anna your right about people wipe their hands off dont want to know you anymore when you tell them about depression , I told one of my good friend about I have depression he kind of doesn't know me any more, it's so sad ,
Kai man It’s pathetic People can’t handle someone who is suffering with depression. I just don’t get it. You can always talk to me or doug or find a support group. I’m here for you
yep. 20 years for me. never had that caring. i told my sister i was suicidal and she didn't care. and i was just broken up with because of it. i'm actually seen as weak and i've been told not to burden them. i was told i was tedious and boring. my mother would get mad at me. one time she said "oh why don't you take another pill." So, it is hard to reach out when I have and it hasn't worked out. No one wants to be around me. I have to keep it to myself now.
Depression saps your energy and being sociable requires concentration that when you are in the depths makes it hard to connect. Connecting is the way out of the hole for sure - fighting the instinct to withdraw is the key. That's why we talk about battling depression
Thanks for your insight.
Second relationship destroyed me. Now I have to pick up the pieces.
Thank you Douglas and Noah. Yes, having a support network seems to be very important for those of us with depression. Of course reaching out (and everything else) is difficult when you are depressed, however, I am doing my best to do so. Keep up the good work!
Thank you.
amazing video! Very strong message, for the first time in a long time I feel hope, I just have to stick to the structures in my life and trust that they will help me, knowing it doesn‘t have to feel right because my brain might not know what‘s right for me right now🙌🏼
I think I ordered your book a few days ago... I'm so depressed I can't remember! x
I hope you were intending to be funny. Which book did you order
I struggled with depression all my life. And id always isolate and ironically the id felt lonely and the id isolated even more. I thought: it makes no sense, feeling lonlely and isolated even more. I could not change my behavior. I still cant most of the time. And here comes the most important lesson. I got to the point where i decided to end my life (i had alienated from everyone i love and who loved my, specially my family) so i got to that turning point (i will not get into details of what i did) and thank god i had for the first time the clarity that i didnt want to die and that i needed help. And thank god that i reached out to my mum and told her: mum i messed up i need help. She and fantastic therapist and psychiatris helped me to the point that even when i feel Like im going down that road i ask for help from everyone and Anyone. So this is part of mu story . IT pains me to tell it but i hope as its said im the video to please ask for help. And Also to say, If you are struggling with depression, there is always a Way out things can get better. My pleading for help ended Saving my life.
Sorry for my grammar, english is clearly not my first language
Thank you Sol. That was very brave of you to share your story. Here’s a website I just created that will help other people who are struggling with suicidal thoughts. Please feel free to pass it onto them. www.overcomingsuicidalpain.com
Social Anxiety for us introverts is a huge issue . 😢
Hellow Mr. Douglas Bloch and Noah if you are reading my comment then first i wanted to say thank you soo much because your video save my life. My name is Rupesh lama and i'm from Nepal. I have try to email you but i cant something wrong with my id so i decide to write a comment, its too long and sorry all for this. i have lots to say but shortly i have suffer from depression since 5 year. but one and half month ago again i fall into my even the darkest period of my life. i'm in the hell right now but your video helps me more than i was in last month. since last month im dealing with the suicidal though. i'm so afraid even when i see the word suicide but at last i decided to find a solution and i found your and Noah's video. i have visit you sit healing from depression. I find some alternatives now as daily im watching you video everytime and try to build some strategy to cope with these negativity. I'm worker and im working in office God i feel really uncomfortable but i'm trying everything to distract myself to be safe. i haven't tell my family because there is already many problem in my family..i'm trying to reach out for support and it is also hard for me right now. i go to hospital but i couldn't feel good a little.My depression was normal but when suicidal though come up automatically....days just turn in to darkness. i stop to watch video,movies,news, facebook and other social media because i'm afraid that i heard that word again..Thank God that both of you are become angel for my life.. your video is already helpline and lifeline for me .AMM I'm practice to surrender to this pain..but sooo hard dont know how to do it. Anyway thank you so much for your lovely guidelines i wanted to share some word about my life with you so it is little bit too long but enough..thank you thank you very much
Thank you for your letter. Keep hanging in there. Here is a video to watch that I think will help you. It is called "Bearing the Unbearable Pain." th-cam.com/video/M2BCvDrVWZ8/w-d-xo.html
Thanks Douglas. Really helpful
It's difficult listening to this,
I just hate myself so much.
I ruined my life, when i left my career job i loved. I was a fool. Now my life sucks, and i have horrible anxiety, insomnia, and depression.
your videos are so inspiring Douglas!!
I'm glad that you are finding them helpful.
Rainy afternoon in Portland. Sounds depressing on it's own. I'd need an artificial light source.
That's right. And many people use light boxes. But even when it is cloudy, if you get outside in the early morning, there is sufficient light to tone down the effects of SAD.
You 2 are great together ! 😊
I’ve been isolating almost 3 years. I have no desire to do anything.
Everyday your videos uplift me. Tx sincerely
So nice of you
Thanks Douglas
The only human contact in my life has emotionally betrayed me and I believe he will continue to do so. He is the only person I engage with in daily life and my only source of human love. Reaching out to crisis phone lines or psychologists does not help, because they can’t truly help. Time with them is very limited and there is no feeling of human love, connection or genuine care because they deal with so many people that I am just another statistic in their job. In that respect, I feel worse after trying to reach out for that type of help. I have no family, friends or contacts that I have a bond/connection with. If I leave him, I am certain that I will be in a very dark place by myself. If I stay, I have to pretend to ignore what’s going on and suffer in silence. Both scenarios are bad for me. I wish my mum was still alive to help me. I wish I could meet another man who I feel a connection with, step in to help pull me away from him and this situation.
Noha x mr bloch say's all you do is just go to theropy when you are really bad. Mr Bloch is straight talking / powerfull Love
I just put it out on facebook that I am going through it.Lots of love coming back.I know this might not be everyones experience.I felt abandoned and unloved.This is helping to counter that.
You did a good job of reaching out for support
@@DouglasBloch Thanks Douglas.
Thank you. I'm going through the battle right now as I type. I'm going to talk to a family member in a few minutes because the pain is not worth holding in. Thank you.
I hope your family member is understanding. Let me know how it goes.
Douglas Bloch My Dad totally understands where I'm coming from and talking about it definitely helped. As of right now, im still battling anxiety but not as intense. I been through Anxiety/Depression for a long time, however people have told me how im very humbled and warm hearted I am. Getting along with everyone and always willing to help others.. With those traits, it makes me keep living and pushing through the Good and Bad days. A true Warrior like yourself Douglas. Thank you.
I'm so glad you opened up to your dad. It is always worth reaching out. People are usually glad to lend their support. And when you feel better, you can share that support with others.
Thank you
You're very welcome
Sometimes you feel the loneliest in a Crowd. I like one on one relationships. I have never been keen on groups of people..except at a dance where you are dancing with one person. I do like sitting and observing people but I don’t care to be involved that much.
is there such a thing as a happy hermit, for example someone that keeps busy doing enjoyable things like gardening, fishing etc but want to be alone in nature.i have met a few folks like this, they seem to be wired differently.they dont dislike people but they need to be alone for much of the day.
It seems you are an introvert. Introverts enjoy their solitude.
You should never withdraw because that opens up the potential for an attempted suicide. At least in my case, yet that's what I do. No one understands what I'm going through so it becomes a battle
I hope you can make it whatever live chats at noon Pacific time on Sundays
True
is it bad to not go into a crowd when you are depressed but still socialize by visiting with a person who is a trusted friend and just talk?
What do you do if you live alone and have isolated yourself so much that you have no one to call for help? No family either. I’m certain that suicide is just around the corner.
If you have the money to pay, there are counseling services online such as better help and talk space. You can also call the Oregon Warmline until 11 o’clock Pacific time and someone will as long as you would like. 1-800-698-2392. You can also call your local crisis line. When the Covid cell down you might be able to join a meet up group or take a class
How to find a sense of community when being so isolated? No NAMI groups in my AZ state. Any suggestions?
You might try to find some groups on zoom. Go to Lionrock recovery. Also check out the depression bipolar support alliance. You can always find a good counselor to go to also
Thanks unfortunately my personal experience despite living active life going out i party’s events depression spoil it out door light can’t get in when you prisoner of depression
Are you having your depression treated?
@@DouglasBloch yep with tms plus Eskatamin some med testoeone replacement cardio exercise just to get better not fully recovered and some nerufeed back is improved not recovered
So, if the fundamental question is how to counter the tendency to become isolated, and your answer is, "it's counterproductive; just go interact, do the opposite of what you feel"....wow...I hadn't considered that.
Yes, in DBT they call this technique "opposite action." Here is a link for more information. www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/opposite_action.html
I disagree about altruism. I think its a dead art, like chivalry. I and maybe others, I'm not sure, practice chivalry but that's not enough participation to consider it still alive.
As for isolation I'm isolated as I write this, in an empty conference room at 10:30 at night. I feel like I'm protecting everyone else from my pathetic worthlessness.
Feelings of worthlessness are a symptom of depression. They are not the truth about you. I would suggest you see a therapist to specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy so that you can challenge these negative beliefs.
@@DouglasBloch I apologize about my rant last night. It's a rough life and not much to smile about.
I don't know what has happened to me after my divorce of 21 years.. been 3 years now and I don't leave my hone only to go to grocery store. Haven't dated. Don't speak to anyone except my children and parents. I feel like I'm dying a slow death,
You might be in a state of grief. Have you spoken to a counselor or therapist. I think that would help you to move forward.
@@DouglasBloch I have not. I need to though. This is not living.
There are many talented people out there who could help you. Go to the website Psychology Today find a therapist and type in your ZIP Code. Things can get better if you reach out for support
but what if it feels too overburdening to go social events like family gathering etc should you just lever youshelf there
That's a tough decision. I will talk to your counselor about that
How can I find a group? Central Florida . Needing help ASAP. TY.
Here are some sites where you can find support groups in your area.
Links to NAMI and DBSA
www.nami.org/Find-Support
www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=peer_support_group_locator
@@DouglasBloch thank you, emailed them. Hope to hear back soon.
How about when there's nobody to give a call too you keep you guys talk like there's people around you and you're just feeling sad but what about when there is nobody n o b o d y nobody
There are support lines you can call or you can talk to a person on the other end. You might want to start with your local crisis line
I know you don't want to hear this, but it really don't matter if I'm isolated or around people no one knows me and no one cares about me.
Have you tried talking to a counselor or therapist.
Question: how on earth is a person even supposed to start this healing process??? Someone who just can't even talk about it to family let alone a stranger or doctor?
It is hard to talk about this, I agree. But at one point, one must take the risk and reach out for support. You can find people who will be sympathetic and understanding. Here is a video I made the three steps of mental health recovery. I hope it is helpful.
th-cam.com/video/b8FfcdHGQVk/w-d-xo.html
Douglas Bloch I watched that video and I wanted to say thanks. I'm going to try and do them and then maybe I'll make some progress. Thanks again! :)
Okay, please let me know how it goes and if you have any questions about doing the steps.
2017 is becoming another dark time in my Life.. Overcame depression BUT it's a constant battle.. so tired of it all
Financial Social Family Government Political...
It is tiring, isn't it. But fortunately there are small breaks and respites, even in the midst of a severe depression. And when the depression lifts, you can feel a lot better.
Sam Sam I feel the same way friend
You keep talking like there's actually people around you I have nobody what do you say to someone that actually has nobody I mean I I say that authentically I have nobody
Can you find a counselor or therapist to talk to you. They are also meet up groups even though they’re online right now
Hey Bill, we are with you! What's up mate? how are you feeling?
Noah & Douglass aren't on the same page. Not trying to be too critical, but Noah often turns to the camera and speaks directly to the audience, and Douglass seems annoyed when this happens.
I feel bad for being critical, because I appreciate these two men for their message. However, I I give this only as constructive criticism.
Peace & love to both of you.
I have found I withdraw in my depression when I feel overwhelmed with my life in general. I will disappear from social media and friends. I have no adult living family left but I use to do that to them as well. I have alot of friends and acquaintances that are dear to my heart but I just feel overwhelmed with my own life so taking on the issues of someone else is just too much for me. I am a single twice divorced mother of teen twin autistic boys. No help just me. I miss the old me before I experienced trauma and greif. I haven't dated in 4yrs I just don't have any interest to anymore. I remember smiling and laughing and enjoying people. Now I have withdrawn from everything but my children and my pets. I remain responsible and loving but apart of me is checked out. I have a psychiatrist and a thearpist. My thearpist said it is not abnormal to withdraw when overwhelmed and it can be a good thing. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by accident so I avoid them but that ends up hurting their feelings. My mother had severe depression and I remember being a 12yr old and my mom would lock herself in her room for days at a time. She would not cook or do anything with my younger sis and I. She cried so much behind the doors. She would shove a check under the door for us to order pizza it made us feel so shut out and unimportant. I have tried many non medications for my depression but it isn't truly working for years now. I
I'm sorry you are struggling. Have you tried all the possible medications? Also, their non-medication treatment such as TMS. You might want to ask your psychiatrist for his ideas
@@DouglasBloch thank you for reaching out to respond I really appreciate that. I have tried non addictive medications. My mother was highly addicted to Xanax and other prescription drugs and she passed away from an accidental overdose Thanksgiving Day 5yrs ago. So I am afraid to try certain meds I have never been addicted to anything other than coffee and dogs lol. It still is a concern for me that I may have that in my genetics as my grandmother was also addicted to prescription drugs. My insurance will not cover TMS I am on a fixed income I am a caretaker full time for my autistic boys. I would love to try TMS though I really think it might help me.