Never Trust a Narcissist ...even though you want to
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ธ.ค. 2023
- You want to be able to trust a person, right? It's natural. It's healthy. Yet, you cannot trust narcissists or any variation of Hijackal. And, I know you want to.
In this episode, hear the many ways you CANNOT trust them, even when you want to. Hear ways you convince yourself you can believe them, and why you must stop. Yep, it's hard sometimes. But, if you trust them, you're diving into crazy-making even further...and, that's never a good thing. Join in.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:
- Trust is a hallmark of a healthy relationship....and relationships with narcissists are unhealthy!
- Why Hijackals are untrustworthy....narcissists, too
- How narcissists take advantage of you...over and over and over.
- Why narcissists won't compromise
- Stop giving them another chance.
* * Remember, narcissists and other toxic people come in all genders and ages * *
and toxic relationships can be at home, at work, at play... with your parent, boss, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker.
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I am Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor.
Are you in relationship with a Hijackal? That's someone who consistently puts you down, love-bombs and gaslights you, creates confusion and chaos, and causes you to second-guess yourself? I can help you recognize, understand, and make decisions about those kinds of narcissistic behavior…and especially, how to keep yourself (and your children) safe and sane.
No worries about where in the world you live. I work through private, secure video conferencing. So, we can certainly work together to figure a few things out.
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Get my free ebook at www.Hijackals.com
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Are you looking for relief from the pain, confusion and drama of toxic relationships? I can help.
You can reclaim your personal power. Keep watching my videos on TH-cam to find strategies for changing your relationship dynamics.. When you're ready, let's talk.
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#boundaries #Hijackals #toxicpeople #narcissists #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #narcissisticabuse #personalitydisorder
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Praying 🙏 for your health. You are full of wisdom to help hurting people who are emotionally and mentally abused by narcissists.
Whenever the day comes, she will be leaving a beautiful legacy of mutuality and growth ❤️ She not only escaped the hijackal trap herself, but she did it on her own. There wasn't a hikackal podcast or therapist to guide her. She pioneered the way out of that abyss, then showed us how to get there too. She's part of the immune system of humanity. What an amazing person 🥹
@@FulanitoDTal-Lugar So well said. Just learned of Dr. Shaler's passing. Everything you said is absolutely true. Thank you, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler. Well done!
@@isabellcaputo954 I am so sad to hear this. I just subscribed to her last night. I loved her voice and advice. So sad!
Everything Dr Schaller is saying is NOT EXAGERATED!!! It’s spot spot spot spot spot ON!!!
Nothing amazes me more than their ability to be cruel is the total lack of remorse! None!!! Of yes…. The sneaky smirk!
I have lived with these people 🤠 in my childhood _ I thought the contempt face was a loving face until I saw it on the news when that cop killed George with his knee. I went oh _ there's my dad on top of me_ had huge trigger watching that cop kill George on tv.
She speaks the truth. There's no need to keep people like that in your lives. The moment you get the sign, notice. The second time they show you, kick them definitively out of your life. Never again.
Exactly. Just experienced such a monster.
@@janetlieb2507 I'm so sorry. I hope you find the peace and compassion needed to forgive yourself ❤️
I 'm praying for your health . Thank you for continuing to help the victims of narcissist abuse by sharing your knowledge and expressing your caring attitude towards them ! GOD bless you.
I 2nd that. You are a Wonderful woman: still helping although you are struggling.
God Bless you .❤❤❤
Don’t sugar coat or idealize and smooth over their USEING you for THEIR NEEDS ONLY 😢😢😢
Your mental health is nothing to mess around with!!!
In a nutshell with these nuts.
Thank you Dr. Shaler for speaking these truths, as unpleasant and unwelcome as they are. I pray for your peace and joy.
My poor mom lived with her to serve her to the max while my sister - behind her back of course…. Made her look like a big burden “she” the wonderful one was “taking care of”. she lined up as many flying monkeys as she could…. She Used them all n somehow got the all the
praise !!! My mom lived
On bread crumbs!!!
My sister was like a circus ringleader- lots of things going on in differentiating… she made herself look so wonderful…. If you called her in anything…. YOU were the ugly one! Totally sickening! And totally unbelievable!!!
Roberta Shaler I really love your show I think you’re an amazing awesome lady and when I see you on here with your breathing machine it makes me sad and it makes me worried and concerned for you and I’ve been worried and concerned since I saw saw you with this I’m just concerned if you’re sick or if you’re gonna get better or get well and I’m just concerned.? for your health and worried about you. I listen to all your videos a lot of the time. I’m probably not the typical person that you would expect to watch your shows or to respond to you but just know that you really touched my heart and you really helped me and I come from extreme severely narcissistic family narcissistic mother and abusive mother physically and a drug addict brother drug addict father and extremely extremely rich wealthy grandparents siblings such as cousins and aunts and uncles . and I mean my family and I’m a half black half white. 42-year-old transgender female to male and I’ve been like this since I was a kid and I’m quite handsome ,no not that it matters but I’m just not the average person that you would probably expect to reach out to you. But I just truly know that toxic patterns of behavior narcissistic abuse are so real in this world and I’m just as I have been a victim of this abuse but I am not a victim because I’ve overcome it so it’s like I’m a survivor of my own circumstances but I have been a victim to these abusive people if anything I regret them. And being born in a hateful cruel narcissistic pessimistic discriminative racist rich entitled arrogant did I say selfish family and I’ve been experiencing this since I was a child I actually transitioned at 33 physically but my story is just phenomenal I just it really truly is as phenomenal story because because of what I was born into and just the large family the wealth the drug addiction you know and then being half black and what I noticed in these families is that they really repeat the same exact destructive patterns destructive abusive behavior for example when my grandmother passed they purposefully did not call me did not invite me did not make me part of her passing when she was my best friend you know because I came into her life when she was probably like in her late 40s early 50s and so you know I’m saying I was a big part of my grandmother‘s life because all her kids at already grown up by that point and you know because I’m not a blood because I’m half black do you know my aunts as I got older they started turning on me and making it making it uncomfortable for me to be close to my grandma and kind of squeezing me away like I was saying my grandparents are extremely wealthy extremely wealthy we live in Sacramento California in Roseville and Rubidoux in El Dorado Hills and extremely wealthy my grandparents built that my grandfather built Cameron Park is name is John Pearson and my other family are the Ewings and I’m telling you they are some of the most snobby ass people they had taken my grandpa my grandma‘s money and they all got millions of dollars you know and I am still out here struggling I was born in the same family but I barely have anything I barely have a leg to stand on but I still hustle really hard and I’m a hard worker and I’m independent and I still make good things for myself I said I was able to create a better life for myself than what they wanted or expected of me just because I was born half black and I’ve been like you know justCompletely hurt by these people’s actions and it’s like they repeat the same like behavior like that with the whole thing with family toxic families and not it and choosing who they want to be part of the family’s death and all that I know it’s probably just classic you’ve heard this 1 million times and you know this because they just do it they they manipulate they twist they gaslight Village still silence you they are strange you I’ve been so estranged so isolated him God the stories are thick my brothers daughter my drug addict brother’s daughter she was 14 she died at the age of 14 recently two years ago and I had I had a receipt guardianship I had actually one successor guardian ship and took care of her and then because my brother and all his racist friends and racist baby mama which was her mom and then they gave me a hard time I mean the story is so long as she’s unbelievable and they ended up letting her run away from me and threatening her not go back with me and my girlfriend because we’re black or mixed half black you know and they were calling us the N-word and all this stuff and she ended up running off and being gone for eight months and then she ended up getting strung out on dope and drugs because my brother and her mom allowed it and they didn’t worked with me to help her and I had helped her get A’s and B’s and raise her grade and I moved to a certain neighborhood to help her and I did so much so much and my mom just completely scapegoated me on the situation because she had been living with my mom but because she was trying to 14 she was getting way too grown way to like out of control for my mom like walking the strip hanging out with grown man doing things and I don’t know my brother wasn’t able to care for her he wasn’t able to legally care for her because you know he had been in prison in jail and drugs and same thing with her mom so I will I want the guardianship anyway to make that long story short I was completely gaslit completely completely isolated we are completely silenced that there was rumors and lies and twist of the truth about how wow what happened to Kaylie no one gave any condolences or said anything to me my aunt actually gaslit me my rich wealthy aunt from my dad side the only and the only person that’s nice to me was my dad my dad that’s not even my real blood that raised me he’s been the best the best to me him and my grandma that passed and my grandpa they loved and treated me the best but like now I’m just so lone and I’m so angry and so mad but I know it’s a reflection of who they are I know it’s not a reflection of me you know your videos truly have inspired me and have made me stronger and have given me understanding and insight and sometimes when I’m ruminating or I feel angry or week or debilitated I just turn on your videos and all I gotta do is just listen to one of your videos fine with your videos and because in a world full of isolation stonewalling neglect being silenced being gaslit being blamed shifted you know being scapegoated being hated by your own family that brought you into this world it just it’s horrible it’s the worst feeling in the world and I am and I am I’m blessed that I have a strong heart and a strong mind and I actually came out a healthy human which is really crazy that people like ourselves that go through all all this abuse and all this miss treat by The people who are supposed to love us and care for us the most and how we are end up able to come out still healthy you know in the morning in the heart treat others with respect and kindness treat others with love and op optimism and and and not be a Gaslighter not be a manipulator not be someone who blames ships not be somebody who tries to exploit someone’s vulnerabilities or explode someone’s negativities or explode someone’s weaknesses just for your own laughter for your own for your own feel good you know it’s unbelievable the amount of things I’ve experienced and watch people do people are hateful hurtful people beings creatures. And I just feel like the world’s hearts are getting colder relaxing colder people are lacking lacking the ability to take responsibility for their actions or even you know it’s just like it’s not rocket science with all the stuff you know. Because every single situation every single family every single human work related family related relationship related these are the same toxic disgusting patterns of behavior that everyone is doing to each other over and over again never taking responsibility never giving a person a fair and equal like you always talk about reciprocity and equality in communicating in a caring each other’s feelings and and and and reaching for growth and meet each other halfway in these spaces in the situation they’re all doing the same thing to each other over. We even gaslight each other in war war against different countries it’s all the same toxic patterns of narcissism and toxic abuse and and and psychological warfare with an emotional warfare with gaslighting one another and scapegoating one another and murdering one another and she killing one another it’s all the same abuse. I’m just so thankful for what you do and I want you to stay strong I’m gonna be praying for you and I pray that that the Lord will heal you soon and help you to get to get him to get some stuff in your body you know food sometimes is the best healer when you eat the right foods. Red beets powder juice is really really good for getting oxygen into the blood and you know I’m sure you are highly intelligent doctor you know how to study for the right foods to help you to heal and to improve your breathing and I just pray that you know that you get healthier and you get better I’d love to see you healthy again anyway this was kind of a ranting text I hope you can read it and understand but thank you so much for everything you do and maybe we’ll chat back.
They really want to use everything against you. it is important to always remember that and never forget it. You are so accurate about not getting what you want, and also, you never feel a sense of inner peace and contentment. It always feels like there is something that never actually feels right and. when you leave, you need to remember everything to be able to stay away for good and look for something healthy. That is very true that actions speak much louder than words. only believe their actions to keep it real.
100 percent do not trust a narcissist-if you are lucky enough to know their true intentions BEFORE you fall for their love bombing and marry them. Only the very lucky few, sadly.
I never trusted my narcissistic mother. I grew up in such terrible atmosphere. It was terrible!
I can really see the difference in “malignant “ covert narcs too ! Same sweetness front but finds pleasure in causing pain!!!
It’s like you have a tacitly understood agreement that they lie and get whatever they want. And it just ends up being that way. I went through this agreement with my mother. There’s no kinship there, and when she passed away, I really saw the disparity in our lives and our relationships. You have to snap out of it and wake up. Because if you don’t, your life will pass you by. I’m glad I woke up, and I hope everyone else can see the ridiculousness in this game too. You get so trained to respect your elders that you don’t see that you got older too. Thank you Dr. Shaler. You were the best at understanding these liars.
Thank you mam yr right, my son even trys to start a fight with me when I do something nice for my son he becomes really mean after I take him to Mc Donald's most of the time he's good in public until we get home then he starts being mean to me thanks to you mam I'm understanding what is going on with him you are right no matter what I do to make him happy he's just mean to me so when I remember I don't do anything nice for him and he's fine until he gets his food then he's back to being mean again he will do things on purpose like walk in front of the TV just to iritate me I couldn't understand why does he hate me so much but now I know why he acts like he does so I'm using the opposite against him but no matter what I do he doesn't change
This is why I was afraid to have children. This is NOT your fault btw.
The future faking is cruel. These are savage liers.
My sister- perfect description!!! future faker to the max. Never never never trust these people!!! I feel so stupid!!! N so used!!! And she plays the part so well- no one mesmerized by her fake image would even believe it. I’m the bad guy!!!! The proverbial insult to injury!
Yes you never can trust a narcissist. Crazy making .
To me but true - period.
Thank you Dr Shaler for all that you do to help us understand what we have been dealing with and how to navigate these despicable toxic people. You are an extraordinary lady with a wealth of knowledge and wisdom. I hope and pray that your health improves. We really appreciate all that you do for us...❤ Lots of love to you...xxx
Every accusation they make is a confession. I like that Annie Walker.
I Thank God for you. I pray for your healing. It hurts so badly. My husband of 41 years. And my daughter who is 39. Two sons normal.
I 'm praying for your health . Thank you for continuing to help the victims of narcissist abuse
Dear Rhoberta, I have to thank you. You are an incredibly brave woman. You caught my eye a few months ago on one of your utube videos. I decided to really listen to what you have to say. The fact is, you are struggling to breathe, and you are reaching out to people who are in emotional turmoil. I see your face shape has changed, (cortisone?) And you are obviously in bed.
This video on not trusting a hijackal is extremely relevant and as difficult as it was, you made such a brilliant point with great effort. Thank you.
I see my ex-husband torturing his girlfriend in the way you have described. My heart goes out to her, but I cannot help her as I am perceived to be the enemy! May your words reach many people in this nightmarish predicament, and set them free. What a fine person you are and your courage is inspiring. Do take extra special care of yourself. Love and hugs, Sally
You have given me so much help. I hope you get better soon. You poor woman.
I m happy for my physical and mental health, I m 50 years old and not interested in non sense and story telling ❤, thank you kind soul.
You want to believe is TRUE 😢
Thank you for bringing light. Sending healing love to you my dear.
You are right on everything, doctor,you cannot trust the narcissist ever,never ever,even though at times i felt tempted to just trust those beautiful words but you cannot,believe actions not words,sooo true😊
I am so very sorry for your health issues. I am praying for you. I hope you feel better ❤ God bless you 🙏
You have helped me thankyou. I was blinded looking after the narc. Caring for him was exhausting, never said thankyou. I'm free now 3 years and having to learn to look after myself first.
What a wonderful gem of a woman. Thank you for everything. You are greatly missed, but your legacy is so meaningful. Thank you for sharing your love and light with so many.
The thanks my mom got???? Not much- she got to feel insignificant. She was marginalized all the time- of course “so subtly “…. The lies that were told behind her back to make my sister look like the awesome giver n not the huge taker she was makes me 🤮. No remorse either!!! NONE!
That's what I'm going through with my adult son...I can't take anymore.
@@loriegreen8840 I am in the same situation and stopped taking it three months ago. It has been hard but much better overall and improving daily.
Prayers for you 🙏🏼 Thank you for always fighting for truth
Thank you 🙏 ❤sending love, peace and joy ❤
Correct. "Lull" you into believing that they care about you.
I love your lipstick. I hope you get over the health hump..
It's evidence that they're abuse can affect you not just mentally but physically.
I did overshare and had the rug ripped out from underneath me.
Pray for your healthy!!❤
My mother. She just put inheritance money in my bank - a week later she wants it back and threatens to report me for fraud. You are so describing my sick mother. Hope you get better.
The magic show “how to drain a person of everything n look like THE hero!!!!”
God bless you, Roberta🕊️🙏🏻 You are so right about every subject you help us with. Thank you so much.🤍
I feel the same i respect you and am big grateful .
You have helped me beyond
Measurement.
But I want you to take care of yourself and rest . You are in us . We care about you
Please know that .
You know Anthony well
Word for word u know
Hi Dr Roberta,I'm new to your channel and you have great knowledge and information. I also like other subscribers am praying for your health.
Thank you I wish youd find yourself in better health. Your information resonates with my experience with them, you're a real trooper I pray for your healing to happen. I got a tetanus shot with diptheria included it helped clear up my lungs immensely.
Thank you Dr.Rhoberta for the generosity of your time and expertise.positive thoughts for the quick improvement of your health😊❤
Another great video. Dr. Shaler are you in the hospital?
Her health has been declining and it appears she's at home in a hospital bed. The doctor/PhD doesn't feel comfortable disclosing any details which is odd especially given her profession. Many viewers are concerned... Nevertheless it's admirable the psychologist puts forth such effort to continue to help viewers with the insidious issue.
@@celticsunise4ever thanks for the reply. Hopefully doing the videos isn't more taxing on her health.
@@celticsunise4everPsychologists don’t burden those they help with their personal problems. Common knowledge and not “surprising” at all. 🙄
@@Gemmarose9012 Okay... There are numerous professionals, including psychologists, on social media who choose to share personal info with their viewers for a variety of reasons.
What's your area of expertise?
Dr. Shaler clearly has difficulty breathing and speaking even with supplemental O2, which concerns some of her viewers, but disclosure is a personal decision. These comments may be upsetting to the doctor, and at this point, I've said enough.
Thank you 😊
Dr Roberta you are amazing! I’m so grateful for your wisdom that you share!!
How are you feeling ?🥰
So much truth and wisdom .Spot on ! Thank you so very much for your work . So very helpful .💪🙏
They know what you want But Do they Ever give it to you?"
Ohboy...Right. the future faking is the most demonic part...then they twist around like a croc &
Cause an argument...
& Blame you for being upset (ie broken promises). But usually its all my fault he chose not to visit me.
So darned Superior. Never EVER apologise
This online dating experience has been so so painful...as its so easy just to
Erase all ur photos & all the chat. Hes done that x3
..
Ive now packed it in.
Weird they dont know what peoples needs are _ we all pretty much - have all the same attachment needs
That's true thanks so much for this videos
I have no family and I’m on disability. I don’t have much saved as he said in the beginning we needed to use my finances and he would take care of me when we retired. Today he said I never said such a thing and I am looking for a place to be completely alone and since I have such a small income I doubt I can afford it.
He has ruined my life!
Horrible
😢
Are you OK?
Oh YES. We are SUCKED in
repeatedly. Decades w Parent . Get you all happy and filled and sucked in again! Decacades and still at 94 mother still the same and me too getting sucked in so so easy.
Your wirds are so helpful. But, is your health a manifestation of speaking about their nastiness still inflicting you? Speak of healings only please . Your awesome ❤. Heal 😊
Just stop, the woman is struggling to breathe. She didn’t in any way “bring it on herself”.
Pull your head out of your sphincter please. Signed, a Hospice nurse.
@@Gemmarose9012 exactly why I am concerned, I can see she is struggling & in pain. Should I stop wishing health ? Why? I know myself, talking about past hurts keeps you from moving on to be happy, it manifests dis ease. Its a proven fact. I think your heads up your own sphincter to be honest
Are you ok??
PRAYERS TO YOU LOVE
Hope YOU FEEL BETTER SOON ❤️
I have questions for you over affairs and cheating.
If i was dating Morgan i starting seeing my ex boyfriend Stephen start to make emotional attachment to Stephen i when i know him from school to college by texting him and meeting up and talking to Stephen on phone and thinking about him and watching films with him without never never having no sex ? Is it emotional cheating
Yep
It is well with you In Jesus name x
Savage liars. Yup.
😢❤
promo sm
hello mam codepency mam must problem
Must have been a heavy smoker
She looks like she is at deads bed
don't say that. The best thing you can do is to wish her good health. Yes, she is not well obviously, but you comment is just rude.
Probably a heavy smoker.
@@epicweldepicweld5857Sheer ignorance. You don’t know that and even if she did smoke, she doesn’t deserve sickness. A lot of the people commenting have their heads up their asses.
This a pure narcissistic comment and lacks remorse😢