A lack of speaking during a meeting is not always dicative of not speaking enough, but the result of others speaking too much. Sometimes a person can say nothing during a meeting, but then the real conversation happens after the meeting. Being an effective communicator requires the speaker to add breath and space in between their ideas for others to feel comfortable to speak up. If you have to ask someone, "what are your thoughts on the matter?" then you have already lost the opportunity to hear what the other person thinks and have admitted to monopolozing the conversation. Also, a peson can stuggle with formulating their ideas, feeling invalided, or handling perceived or actual judgementalism.
What's holding me back? Well, lack of confidence. A lack of confidence not only in speaking at meetings, but also in the English language. English is my third language. I work in an all-English environment. Although I am overqualified for the job, speaking in meetings is a big problem for me. I always have negative thoughts because I feel constantly judged by other people (just in my head). This situation makes me unhappy. I have an advanced American English level, which is great for the company, and I don't have an accent (believe me), but in my mind, I always have negative and self-destructive thoughts. I really need to overcome this situation. I didnt get promoted because of my fear of speaking and let others know my true ability😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢.
What’s holding me back? My boss because I can’t trust him. He’ll take my ideas and use them for the people he wants to boost up. Also, when I speak, when I to speak with substance and not just, “uhh yeah sounds good”. Good video, thank you!
From 11;30 That's extactly what I feel. As a recent immigrant in Melbourne, I love my work and most people in the project. But several times I had situations that people (not even very senior level) cut my sentences. I was very sad as I am the only non-native speaker in the team and did take it very personally. Then I found out that's their way of communicating to show their capability and smartness to challenge you. Others do have similar feelings like me. I learned to not to blame myself. I'm improving myself by taking notes, asking questions and not directly confronting them in a meeting. I should focus more on my own development. Thanks Kara. Your channel is also a great place for immigrants to learn how to communicate under the business/workplace context. I belive you will hit 1M subscribers so soon!!! Thank you Kara.
I was neglected as child. This is habit to hold back. But I know one healer by name Braco. He speak nothing and impact people from open heart. To speak is not always most inteligrnte joice. To not speak saved my life during war in Bosnia🙏❤ But after the war i started to speak and it was not good when I did. I followed my insticts but the other reacted negativ on me.
This video..it felt like you have read my mind.i literally struggle in expressing myself and often pressurise myself.. thanks for this video..it's very helpful..also can you create a video of how to overcome fear of what people will think about me...I have gone through all of your videos and I follow the tips you give.and the surprising part is I and my team mates can see change in me..
I hold back because I'm always the one asking the questions everyone scared to ask. They grumble before and after and when the meeting come they scared or either it's a friend thing going on so they don't want to damage their connection. So I hold back because I see it all and feel like calling they all out
You have to be tactful. if your opinion is against the leader, dont mention it during the meeting. Go to him or her privately and express what you thinking. if your opinion is against your peers, speak up during the meeting an doffer your opinion but in a diplomatic way. Study the room, know who are the decision makers, know who are your peers...never make your leaders feel intimidated or little in front of people..dont go against them in public.;;that has really helped me over the years. I am now a director in my company..
When I start to watch TH-cam, then this channel from Kara Ronin is always on top of my list and I am always happy to watch every video as possible even after a busy schedule. Thank you Kara for always posting such great videos. Knowledge gained from your videos will be always useful in my professional and personal life. Big appreciation Kara.
Ya I think most of the people why do they think yourself as a hold back One .because they avoid a lot of necessary thing while having conversation with other but being a multi tasking Person we should conquer the fear .if we are Not multi tasking then in order to overcome off fear we should decorate each And every thing in a serial way One by One they must be implemented .
Well, I’m a bit afraid that tje people i work with will work against me if im truly honest… I’m also the new guy and don’t know my place yet… i have this issue with one of my coworkers. And although I admire her hard work. She’s really extrovert but today I asked her about how to charge customers for a specific product… she told ne to let the client fully pay for it , its good for the company but to me it seems like fraude! I can’t just go to the manager and complain because then she might think i want to talk bad about here but it’s just a moral issue in have with this… unfortunately i know this stuff happens everywhere and i just don’t always want to start a fight ….
I don’t speak because I already know that everything I say gets taken out of context. And people are threatened by system. I will always be put down my job is correct.
Ugh, I know the feeling. I failed to speak up--or _stand_ up--to my boss when she indicated I was too helpless to do a shift by myself. I'd bet your own channel that she thinks I'm weak and inferior to the other workers. A dope. Don't worry; you wouldn't lose your channel.
@@kararonin Oh, I prefer to just hear from the TH-camr directly about my specific problems; not watch a video that may or may not apply to my case. But new question for you. What do you think? Do either of these hypothetical responses sound offensive and/or termination-worthy, after she scolds and insults me for picking a one-man shift? A. "You ever heard of a thing called tact?" B. "Well, my family always taught me to be self-confident in my abilities. Don't you think I should believe in myself to do things right?" C. [with an awkwardly offended tone and expression] "you don't have to tell me your *_whole_* opinion about my capacity." 4. Well, [boss], don't you think that if you're gonna say something like that, you might as well just tell me I'm inept and unintelligent?"
So reasons why someone may have no opinion is no thought about the subject matter. So one needs to ask him or herself like she said; what’s my opinion on this? And to be able to quickly have opinion in subject matters you need to be one who goes after knowledge and information
for me it's my upbringing ,not use to voice my opinion, not having enough information on the topic, words does not come during meeting, mental block, and I am not confident
It starts with you truly believing that you can be less quiet. Start to make small changes, as in start to say one thing extra in meetings. Share your idea. Ask a question. Respond to what someone else says. It's about training yourself to realise that people do value your voice and you have relevant things to say.
A lack of speaking during a meeting is not always dicative of not speaking enough, but the result of others speaking too much. Sometimes a person can say nothing during a meeting, but then the real conversation happens after the meeting. Being an effective communicator requires the speaker to add breath and space in between their ideas for others to feel comfortable to speak up. If you have to ask someone, "what are your thoughts on the matter?" then you have already lost the opportunity to hear what the other person thinks and have admitted to monopolozing the conversation.
Also, a peson can stuggle with formulating their ideas, feeling invalided, or handling perceived or actual judgementalism.
This video is gold. The points made at 10:42 onwards were really balanced. Thank you.
What's holding me back? Well, lack of confidence. A lack of confidence not only in speaking at meetings, but also in the English language. English is my third language. I work in an all-English environment. Although I am overqualified for the job, speaking in meetings is a big problem for me. I always have negative thoughts because I feel constantly judged by other people (just in my head). This situation makes me unhappy. I have an advanced American English level, which is great for the company, and I don't have an accent (believe me), but in my mind, I always have negative and self-destructive thoughts. I really need to overcome this situation. I didnt get promoted because of my fear of speaking and let others know my true ability😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢.
Same here, I did not pass my leadership Presence in the class for the next level but I did pass the test of 100 questions. I'm fustrated
Thank you for watching! If you want more content on confident communication, you should watch this video next th-cam.com/video/22AWtTCVKBw/w-d-xo.html
What’s holding me back? My boss because I can’t trust him. He’ll take my ideas and use them for the people he wants to boost up. Also, when I speak, when I to speak with substance and not just, “uhh yeah sounds good”.
Good video, thank you!
Ur videos are actually helpful! Clear, concise, easy to listen to, speaking style in voice/volume. Thanku
From 11;30 That's extactly what I feel. As a recent immigrant in Melbourne, I love my work and most people in the project. But several times I had situations that people (not even very senior level) cut my sentences. I was very sad as I am the only non-native speaker in the team and did take it very personally. Then I found out that's their way of communicating to show their capability and smartness to challenge you. Others do have similar feelings like me. I learned to not to blame myself. I'm improving myself by taking notes, asking questions and not directly confronting them in a meeting. I should focus more on my own development. Thanks Kara. Your channel is also a great place for immigrants to learn how to communicate under the business/workplace context. I belive you will hit 1M subscribers so soon!!! Thank you Kara.
@Kara fyi 4:05 is missing the link you are pointing to
Well done on the content, presentation and production Kara, thank you
Thank you. I find people talk over me or interrupt me. I appreciate the tips.
I was neglected as child.
This is habit to hold back.
But I know one healer by name Braco.
He speak nothing and impact people from open heart.
To speak is not always most inteligrnte joice.
To not speak saved my life during war in Bosnia🙏❤
But after the war i started to speak and it was not good when I did.
I followed my insticts but the other reacted negativ on me.
This video..it felt like you have read my mind.i literally struggle in expressing myself and often pressurise myself.. thanks for this video..it's very helpful..also can you create a video of how to overcome fear of what people will think about me...I have gone through all of your videos and I follow the tips you give.and the surprising part is I and my team mates can see change in me..
Wow! That is fantastic to hear DS! Keep up your progress!
I hold back because I'm always the one asking the questions everyone scared to ask. They grumble before and after and when the meeting come they scared or either it's a friend thing going on so they don't want to damage their connection. So I hold back because I see it all and feel like calling they all out
You have to be tactful. if your opinion is against the leader, dont mention it during the meeting. Go to him or her privately and express what you thinking. if your opinion is against your peers, speak up during the meeting an doffer your opinion but in a diplomatic way. Study the room, know who are the decision makers, know who are your peers...never make your leaders feel intimidated or little in front of people..dont go against them in public.;;that has really helped me over the years. I am now a director in my company..
When I start to watch TH-cam, then this channel from Kara Ronin is always on top of my list and I am always happy to watch every video as possible even after a busy schedule. Thank you Kara for always posting such great videos. Knowledge gained from your videos will be always useful in my professional and personal life. Big appreciation Kara.
I'm so glad to hear that Bhim! Thank you for watching all of my videos!
You deserve way more sunscribers and appreciation Kara. But I am sure that day ain't far. Keep it up. My best wishes!
I'm not sure how TH-cam's algorithms worked out that I wanted to see this video, but I'm glad that happened.
Thank you for making this content
I'm so glad you could see this video too! Thank you for watching!
I think your videos are effective and beneficial. I have this issue and it certainly helped thank you
I often say my opinion once, but never argue, when they chose not to listen, I enjoy watching their decision fail and come back to my decision.
That strategy might help them learn better. You can voice your opinion but at the end of day, you can't force people to see things your way.
Maybe you just enjoy watching people fail.
I really enjoy your approach to the topics! ❤
Would like to point out that as a 'leader' one does not have to be the most vocal.
Active listening is participation.
Brilliant tip on how to avoid being spoken over. Your video helped me gain confidence
I'm so glad to hear that!
Thank you!
Ya I think most of the people why do they think yourself as a hold back One .because they avoid a lot of necessary thing while having conversation with other but being a multi tasking Person we should conquer the fear .if we are Not multi tasking then in order to overcome off fear we should decorate each And every thing in a serial way One by One they must be implemented .
My struggle is all mentioned
So good. Thanks so much ❤
Well, I’m a bit afraid that tje people i work with will work against me if im truly honest… I’m also the new guy and don’t know my place yet… i have this issue with one of my coworkers. And although I admire her hard work. She’s really extrovert but today I asked her about how to charge customers for a specific product… she told ne to let the client fully pay for it , its good for the company but to me it seems like fraude! I can’t just go to the manager and complain because then she might think i want to talk bad about here but it’s just a moral issue in have with this… unfortunately i know this stuff happens everywhere and i just don’t always want to start a fight ….
I don’t speak because I already know that everything I say gets taken out of context. And people are threatened by system. I will always be put down my job is correct.
Ugh, I know the feeling. I failed to speak up--or _stand_ up--to my boss when she indicated I was too helpless to do a shift by myself. I'd bet your own channel that she thinks I'm weak and inferior to the other workers. A dope. Don't worry; you wouldn't lose your channel.
Don't be so hard on yourself. I hope this video has helped you gain the courage you need to speak up.
@@kararonin Oh, I prefer to just hear from the TH-camr directly about my specific problems; not watch a video that may or may not apply to my case. But new question for you. What do you think? Do either of these hypothetical responses sound offensive and/or termination-worthy, after she scolds and insults me for picking a one-man shift? A. "You ever heard of a thing called tact?" B. "Well, my family always taught me to be self-confident in my abilities. Don't you think I should believe in myself to do things right?" C. [with an awkwardly offended tone and expression] "you don't have to tell me your *_whole_* opinion about my capacity." 4. Well, [boss], don't you think that if you're gonna say something like that, you might as well just tell me I'm inept and unintelligent?"
Luminous!
This came at the right time
I'm so glad to hear that Nicky!
Fantastic!
I really love your lessons!
Thank you!
Oh.....this is me 100%
So reasons why someone may have no opinion is no thought about the subject matter. So one needs to ask him or herself like she said; what’s my opinion on this? And to be able to quickly have opinion in subject matters you need to be one who goes after knowledge and information
I go totally blank when i have to speak to that so called harsh person .. so i just keep quiet...but after 5 minutes i am boiling with rage
I am autistic and meetings are difficult for me because I cannot pinpoint the important bits amidst all of the chat, banter and vague comments.
Thank you Kara , avid follower here
Fantastic! Thank you for watching!
for me it's my upbringing ,not use to voice my opinion, not having enough information on the topic, words does not come during meeting, mental block, and I am not confident
I am quiet person , I don’t know how do I change my self😅
It starts with you truly believing that you can be less quiet. Start to make small changes, as in start to say one thing extra in meetings. Share your idea. Ask a question. Respond to what someone else says. It's about training yourself to realise that people do value your voice and you have relevant things to say.
@@kararonin Thank you Kara ! I really like listen and watch your videos
I always feel like my pronunciations is wrong
There are many ways to check your pronunciation. Ask someone or use Google are two helpful ways.
Having to speak over people is just not worth it. Meetings are for people who have enough poor people don't have time for meetings.
Thanks for watching!