I love your work and I love your channel. i have ADHD i studied law first finished my degree and hated the working world. it was awful!! I found it very stressful i got physically and mentally ill and now I'm trying to find myself. People were unhappy when i left law and said i was wasting my potential but honestly i do value peace of mind, hobbies friends and wellness more than i value the glory i got from a title. You have helped me not feel like a failure about my choice to be "ordinary for now" thank you so so much! Jess
I totally agree. I'm trying to figure that out now. I'm 56 and looking to change it up. Possibly relocating part time in a year. Living my life with ADHD has been challenging, I started a non stimulant 7 yrs ago and Life has improved. I feel my best in nature and not in chaos. ✌❤
100% agree on the amount of stress behind people who appear to be living the lavish lifestyles. There’s not many ways of attaining those positions without stress, responsibility and many, many hours of work. It’s not necessarily worth it.
You're actually correct... I've had ADHD and major dyslexia and for the longest part of my life I had no idea I had it and always felt like I was lesser of a human being despite of being better at Design, Strategy, and other creative endeavors wayyyyyy more than neurotypical people. Not to mention the struggles with working 9-5 in a highly unfriendly environment to ADHD.
Thank you so much for this very validating post! I felt so touched by what you said that I cried. I have felt like a failure, an underachiever, all my life. I'm intelligent but wasn't able to finish a college degree due to high anxiety, concentration issues, etc. I have worked "low level" jobs that were relatively simple to do. There is no confidence! Now, I'm on disability benefits due to depression. It's so hard not to feel like an outsider in this world. It's hard not to feel judged and coming up lacking as a person. I avoid a lot of people because of this. I am going to listen to this message again and again so I can figure out what success means for me. Because I don't know. Thanks again!
Absolutely spot on. The drive to be recognized as "great" is a cry for external validation, and it never ends. Much more productive to find where you're happiest, and let people adjust their expectations to where you function best. Only you get to decide what true success looks like for you.
I have had 20 days off in the past 8 months, toxic productivity (as well as Covid-19) has forced the world to take a serious look at what happiness is..more and more people are quitting their jobs, and more businesses are adopting a 4 day work week. We all need to slow down
I found this video at the perfect time. I kept thinking that my goals were “too small” and I “should be doing more.” It recently clicked that my goals are perfectly fine especially given that I too have ADHD, depression, and anxiety. I really appreciate your point about your low self esteem making you think your limits are different than they really are. I should work on that but also be perfectly content with not fitting the standard we hear so much about. More and more I’ve thought about seeking a quiet, peaceful life. Thanks man!
Some of my special needs students are unable to be “productive” as they have severe physical and mental disabilities. Something that helps me to feel better when I’m not being “productive” is asking myself - “Do I feel my students have any less value or purpose than I do?” The answer is a solid NO. We all have inherent worth. 💚
Totally agree with this man. I want more people to realise that life’s not about leaving school, getting a job and having two days of freedom each week what they try to give you
When you said "I work as much as I want to... I do the hobbies that I want to, that bring me the peace/joy" I really felt it. The conviction, and the hard-earned pride that you fought for it I feel happy for you! Still have a bit of work to do before I get to that place, thanks for being a lighthouse :)
After two burnouts I did the same. Just exited my high-paced "successful" life I felt like shit all the time. I live with less than 10% of the money I used to and with so much freedom and joy that I didn't think were possible to attain.
this is so true, I've got prescribed 10mg addy 2months ago and It made me super confident and delusional and I wanted to hustle for the whole school summer break, now summer is over and I didn't even do that much, sacrificed sleep, food, gym, because I thought I needed to hustle, It really made me think I'm some 17yo entrepreneur, (I still am ambitious but I want to be rational and realistic) I literally feel like it made my personality change and I've been living fake life last 2 months, next month I will go my doctor, and now I'm really scared of meds, because I realized how dangerous it can be. Also when I have day off, I have constant rumination and have 0 ambition, it feels like I don't have purpose and I will be depressed forever and nothing can fix me, I know it's not true, but IT FOR SURE DOES feel like that in that moment
This brought tears to my eyes... so true and such a relief to hear that it's ok if you are a bit different, to not have to try and 'fit in' with the so called 'normal' people. This is just what neurodiverse people and anyone with anything that makes them different needs to hear! Thank you for the beautiful message!
ADHD diagnoses at 8 have went to some college, had multiple labor jobs, and currently 1.5 years into my business fulltime. Wife and 2 boys. It's tough some days but I'm learning to one let go of what you can't control, 2 take steps each day towards your ideal person. Even if the day before you jacked it all up. And 3 stay positive don't allow the negative thoughts to build a wall. Speak over your life! Life and death lie in the power of the tongue and those who love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
@@duncanbug I Pressure wash and build fences. Honestly I do anything that people want to pay for within reason 😆. Click on my page I have a few videos.
i often find that i can never just let myself enjoy things. everything i do must be in the pursuit of being productive somehow. it truly is a skill to know when to chill out and be in the moment
This is so relevant right now! I believe lockdown has made a lot of people reassess their jobs/ careers including myself. I recently quit a really good job because it stopped being fun and engaging and I dreaded going into the office. I’m now working less hours helping to run a local brewery, it’s less money but so much more rewarding in other ways.
A great thing about adhd - my brother and I get into fiery discussions regarding life, society and politics. The rapid emotional build really drives me to go to politics and change things for the better. I know a job in a charity, politics, caring, etc on minimum wage would bring me 100x more happiness than earning tens of thousands as a banker. The only downside - inattentiveness. Finding the drive is easy; Maintaining it, not so much.
Well said., Stuart !! My old councelor used to say "there are no shoulds, havetos, or musts". Which is great if you can live by those standards. Unfortunately engrained since childhood.., "you must obey" and follow societys dictates. How awful is that? Where is the freedom? where is the individuality?? . How do we break out of that old mold?? to comply?? and to be codependent??? Not easy.
I disagree that people who are ‘successful’ in our culture are ‘extraordinary’. I think that the game is rigged, and most ‘successful’ people are successful because the game was set up by them and for them. I don’t think successful people are extraordinary. I think most of them are extraordinarily advantaged to begin with. Great video tho 👍🏻 I love the idea of a second renaissance and I see exactly what you’re saying. It is very heartening 💕💕💕
Well, I think being born privelaged is still extraordinary because its not the average. I'm mainly talking about the people that worked their way up from nothing.
I’ve always struggled to fit in, could only get close when I’d had a few drinks. Now I’m sober I realise ‘the mainstream’ today seems to be obsessed with achievement and validation. Right now I’m in Mexico studying yoga but I’d do anything to be walking around that lake!😀
I absolutely agree! I've just been figuring this out lately. I have weaknesses, yes, but I also have strengths. There are some things that I do so much better than other people! I've focused my whole life on my shortcomings instead of realizing there are things that come naturally for me that seem so difficult for other people. I've been learning how to play to my strengths instead of trying to force myself to do things the way other people do, and it's been working very well. Thank you Stuart for sharing your view with everyone! Your channel is very inspirational and it makes me feel there's a community of people out their that's just like me in so many ways. Thanks!
This is so on point and yeah being eccentric can be really hard. All the people who find meaning in following the norm are reinforced in thinking what they do is correct and when they see your ADHD circus rolling around they will often let you know that you are doing it wrong. You just reinforced me in thinking that my off center path in life is totally fine. I need more of this :)
You're on a roll with these videos! I actually quit a very high demand job in August of '21 because the pace was just unattainable. I was there for almost three years and that was more than enough. I liked the job, but I also really liked how it made me "look" like a grown up from other peoples points of view (It was in HR). As someone who mostly worked in Grocery/odd jobs throughout my lifetime, this was my first "big girl job" and I liked that people seemed to take me more seriously. That being said, the stress just wasn't worth the money or the title if it meant I would have to continue digging myself an early grave. The job was so stressful, I was put on meds for depression, started having migraines plus a number of other ailments. I was seeing a doctor regularly for conditions that sprouted up while I worked there. Like a miracle, once I quite, everything was peachy. Now I'm just back to struggling with ONLY normal ADHD stuff. LOL Many well wishes from Michigan.
Hi I know what that's like I just recently quit my job in August too. It wasn't hard work but it was really getting to me and it being unorganized and not knowing what you're doing from day to day not being told or being the last one to know what was happening was frustrating me. So I just up and left after leaving a short resignation and talking with the manager. I've applied at another job now which very likely will be easier very similar to what I used to have but with a better work atmosphere, more structure in a better supervisors to work with. I know what it's like with the depression I deal with anxiety at times but I am coming over it meditation, counseling with a minister, exercise and being in nature. Hold fast.
@@ricoender8020 I'm glad you were able to leave that toxic job situation and go somewhere better! Good job on getting help and finding a way to deal with the depression and anxiety. I know for myself, I didn't realize how bad that job impacted the other parts of my life until recently. Gosh, especially the impulse shopping and excess drinking. Absolutely terrible. Anyway, I'll end on a positive note by again saying, good for you! It takes courage to leave a job. Cheers to a new year of possibilities!
@@itsmeheathermarie Thanks! Still waiting to hear back from the place about wether or not they'll hire. I believe a second interview is possible and a test. But hopefully so. 😀
I was brainwashed in VFX school to accept overwork (aka crunch) as a requirement, but despite ultimately choosing not to pursue a studio career almost 2 years ago, I am still working to untangle productivity from hours worked. Instead I'm trying to be more efficient with the time I do spend working. I'm sure many people here can relate to having only x amount of hours to focus in a day. It's one of the neurotypical walls I always butted up against but never understood why I struggled so much until I realized I have ADHD.
You on fire 🔥🔥 today my fellow ADHD brother! I was just thinking about this over the week here branched out I'm improving myself by getting stronger I'm going to start picking up some hobbies doing some things that I knew I've wanted to do for a long time, training for endurance backpacking taking up shooting, I'm over here in America so a natural thing for us, and I've just recently reapplied for a position that could be better for my mental health. I have several friends that work there and a person that I used to work with at my former job so we'll see how it works out. I'm just started recently to saying the mantra to myself I am good enough I'm good enough I have room for improvement I am good enough. Instead of trying to obtain perfection which no one has, except God himself and his Son Jesus Christ. Glad to see that you are doing better brother and that you are improving yourself and living a quite and peaceful life. In the Bible says if it be possible then live peacefully with all men. Until the next video.😀
Totally agree especially the “academic part”, not everyone is meant to be an academic, is demands lots of focus that some people have naturally and that some don’t. I don’t need to change myself to fit some standard that I may not even like when I achieve it. Most people aren’t really happy so why bother and go with the flow? It’s better if we focus our energy into leveraging our strengths and finding what works for us instead of changing ourselves and deeming ourselves as disabled if we don’t fit the category that the world put for us. Everyone seems to be obsessed with praise not with wisdom. People are walking through life without looking forward 30 years from now which is wrong. They are deeming themselves to be happy youngsters and ill old people. Care for yourselves guys. Eat healthy and sleep well. Don’t do all-nighters. Take care of yourself and make it a priority.
I was literally having this conversation with myself...all points 💯. If you don't reflect will you ever experience any self-improvement or character development (?). This video has been saved because I needed this reassurance 😌.
💯 Your videos made me realize that I probably have inattentive adhd. Looking for a specialist to see if I'm right. When all the pieces fell into place I literally cried. I've been so misunderstood my whole life and I've been so hard on myself because of it. Thanks for the content. It's helped.
Loved this video, it was spot on. Social conditioning can have an awful effect on our life choices and mental state. You only live once. Live the life you want to lead, and do what makes you happy and content. That in itself is priceless. Best wishes to you and all your subscribers ❤
Just found your channel, your awesome dude if the channel makes you happy keep going. Your perspective is awesome and resonates well with me (recently diagnosed adult adhd)
Thanks for this film, it reminds me to recenter myself. I feel the societal pressure and struggle with autism and adhd. I want to keep going at my pace.
I set myself standards, only to fail. I feel like whatever I do is never good enough for myself. I think it stems from a pattern of constantly setting myself goals, only to fall off the wagon somewhere along the way. It's so exhausting 😩 It's like I don't trust myself to keep going.
Coincidently, my boss has our office reading "Mindset, The New Psychology of Success" by Dr. Carol S. Dweck, just as you posted this video. It pertains to this very topic of achievement and perception of achievement. I'm finding it to be an interesting read, even if I don't align 1-1 with Dr. Dweck's every viewpoint. Still, there is much about constructive criticism, taking it personally, and causing someone to feel like a failure I can relate to. (As a fellow Inattentive ADHD'er, this is one symptom I routinely struggle with). Dr. Dweck asserts this as a "fixed" mindset that permanently labels oneself. Her encouragement, is to view setbacks as merely opportunities for improvement, nurturing a "growth" mindset. This, I do find intriguing and at least worth consideration.
I’m currently struggling in a “corporate” job and really agree with this video. Only problem is I need to pay the bills while trying to find the perfect thing for me to do 😑
The word success is inextricably tied to money and capitalism. Success doesn’t have any meaning for me, it’s a category that I find useful only in order to recognise lifestyles that I don’t value. Whenever anyone talks about being successful, they’ve lost me.
I agree... I though working your ass off for tons of money is what I want... frankly too much work is killing me and if I loose or gain a greater amount of money, as long as I have enough savings to take care of myself I do not feel too good or too bad for too long.... I had a salary raise last week and the company promised even greater salary in near future, but I quit without notice this monday because I could not deal with the stress, my boss always criticizes me and messes with my self confidence, I regretted at first, but to be frank I love having more time and energy to read and study things, but when I have to work 9h per day it kills me, I cannot get out of bed, I cannot fall asleep, I come back from work, too tired to prepare for another day, too tired to read or work out, all I want is to get a hot shower and sink my stomach in beer... that isn't life
Masking is very common amongst people with ADHD and some of us even develop something called the imposter-syndrome. The phrase “never meet your idols” won’t cure it but the opposite definitely will.
To be Great and Special takes energy. Depression is a time to reflect and prepare yourself, recharging your batteries. Ready to join the World with special gifts.
I just feel like iam just an outsider in this world. Incompetent and weak. Surrounded by people making their effort and pushing them closer to their goals. Everything is working for em. I feel alone, not good at anything 22 and dependent on my parents. I wish i was not born or was a stillborn. 😞 Currently iam having my exams iam in my fourth year of uni and don't know how i came till here every day feels like i should drop out, but now iam exhausted don't know what to do, i have no strength to push further. Jobless, Average student, dependent on my parents. Just want to do simple job like cashier, rider or salesman that doesn't require mental focus but think why i have studied so much what for what will people say blah blah blah Looking for an escape pffff
For what it's worth, aside from the experience, uni was a waste of time for me, it is for a lot of people. But at 22 you haven't even started living, take advantage if your youth and research your interests and try everything - there's so much opportunity.
@@ADHDMastery thanks for the support, Keep uploading you are the only person i can resonate, other than that no one understands me not even my parents they just say study hard try keep trying but how to explain them that it's even hard for me try. I have failed in in few courses and i have to give a retake and it will take a year more which extends my four year degree but what is painful is that will graduate or end up dropped out.
Hey I can understand and sympathize I went to college but I was ony able to complete three semesters before I left and never went back. I'm about 12+ years older than you so don't be worried about that. Thankfully I have parents and family members that make an effort to understand what I go through and I have a few good friends, not many but a few, so I'm thankful for that. So be thankful don't be too hard on yourself. That that you're able to go to uni is great if you can finish then more power to you. Peace out.
@@harismir4461 I am 20+ years older and also struggled at uni and failed a few papers & had to switch degrees. I got a desk job that paid well but wasn’t satisfying & made me depressed for years. I used to envy anyone doing a job they enjoyed & daydreamed about doing something practical instead of pushing paper around a desk. I really tried to like what I was doing but just got more depressed. So my advice is you are still really young. There is nothing wrong with still living with your parents at your age. Think hard about what you would actually enjoy doing. Maybe get some careers counselling to help work out what. And go about pursuing it. I am sure you will be happier & more successful in the long term doing that than trying to fit yourself to doing something you don’t really enjoy. Even if it takes you a while to get established & feel like you’re making progress. From my age 30 is v young - and you are not even close so don’t give up!
Hi Stuart, first off I love your videos and look forward to them. Just wanted to say though that it might be confusing for anyone just setting out on their ADHD journey to talk categorise it as a Mental Health issue. I go through cycles of Anxiety and Depression as my mental health suffers/improves. ADHD however is always there. I can manage it well, or not, but it is always underpinning everything for better or for worse. The word 'disorder' can be challenging for some, as can 'condition'. However I wouldn't want anyone to think they can or need to 'recover' from or 'cure' ADHD. I know that is not what you are saying here or in any of your videos. Just adding my two cents to the ADHD community in the hope that it helps someone. Thanks from Ireland, Dave
Do you categorize "mental health issues" as something a person can be cured from?. In fact, in the case of most of the mental "issues", there is no "cure" for most of the mental diseases, eg.. ADD/ADHD is defined not as a "mental disorder" but as childhood brain Development Disorder, in some cases, the symptoms disappear or improve as the brain end its development. As the cause of the "disorder" is a malfunction of an areas in the brain, that area may be in charged of other functions, such as memory, controlling emotional responses (anxiety e.g.), orientation, etc. The disorder includes also "mental issues", such as anxiety.
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I love your work and I love your channel. i have ADHD i studied law first finished my degree and hated the working world. it was awful!! I found it very stressful i got physically and mentally ill and now I'm trying to find myself. People were unhappy when i left law and said i was wasting my potential but honestly i do value peace of mind, hobbies friends and wellness more than i value the glory i got from a title. You have helped me not feel like a failure about my choice to be "ordinary for now" thank you so so much! Jess
I totally agree. I'm trying to figure that out now. I'm 56 and looking to change it up. Possibly relocating part time in a year.
Living my life with ADHD has been challenging, I started a non stimulant 7 yrs ago and Life has improved.
I feel my best in nature and not in chaos. ✌❤
100% agree on the amount of stress behind people who appear to be living the lavish lifestyles. There’s not many ways of attaining those positions without stress, responsibility and many, many hours of work. It’s not necessarily worth it.
You're actually correct... I've had ADHD and major dyslexia and for the longest part of my life I had no idea I had it and always felt like I was lesser of a human being despite of being better at Design, Strategy, and other creative endeavors wayyyyyy more than neurotypical people. Not to mention the struggles with working 9-5 in a highly unfriendly environment to ADHD.
Exactly. We do great !
Yes somtimes we go n the road of others to impress them
So Wise!!...Thanks for sharing Lovely Soul.. Love & Light 😊
Love these new videos Stuart!
This is such a powerful message. Thank you so much ❤
Thank you so much for this very validating post! I felt so touched by what you said that I cried. I have felt like a failure, an underachiever, all my life. I'm intelligent but wasn't able to finish a college degree due to high anxiety, concentration issues, etc. I have worked "low level" jobs that were relatively simple to do. There is no confidence! Now, I'm on disability benefits due to depression. It's so hard not to feel like an outsider in this world. It's hard not to feel judged and coming up lacking as a person. I avoid a lot of people because of this. I am going to listen to this message again and again so I can figure out what success means for me. Because I don't know. Thanks again!
Thank you for this video. I found it very encouraging ❤
Absolutely spot on. The drive to be recognized as "great" is a cry for external validation, and it never ends. Much more productive to find where you're happiest, and let people adjust their expectations to where you function best. Only you get to decide what true success looks like for you.
I have had 20 days off in the past 8 months, toxic productivity (as well as Covid-19) has forced the world to take a serious look at what happiness is..more and more people are quitting their jobs, and more businesses are adopting a 4 day work week. We all need to slow down
I found this video at the perfect time. I kept thinking that my goals were “too small” and I “should be doing more.” It recently clicked that my goals are perfectly fine especially given that I too have ADHD, depression, and anxiety. I really appreciate your point about your low self esteem making you think your limits are different than they really are. I should work on that but also be perfectly content with not fitting the standard we hear so much about. More and more I’ve thought about seeking a quiet, peaceful life. Thanks man!
Some of my special needs students are unable to be “productive” as they have severe physical and mental disabilities. Something that helps me to feel better when I’m not being “productive” is asking myself - “Do I feel my students have any less value or purpose than I do?”
The answer is a solid NO. We all have inherent worth. 💚
I relate to this so much. Simplicity and peace are most important in my life!
Hope you're doing well, Stuart.
Totally agree with this man. I want more people to realise that life’s not about leaving school, getting a job and having two days of freedom each week what they try to give you
When you said "I work as much as I want to... I do the hobbies that I want to, that bring me the peace/joy" I really felt it. The conviction, and the hard-earned pride that you fought for it
I feel happy for you!
Still have a bit of work to do before I get to that place, thanks for being a lighthouse :)
After two burnouts I did the same. Just exited my high-paced "successful" life I felt like shit all the time. I live with less than 10% of the money I used to and with so much freedom and joy that I didn't think were possible to attain.
Thank uuuuu
this is so true, I've got prescribed 10mg addy 2months ago and It made me super confident and delusional and I wanted to hustle for the whole school summer break, now summer is over and I didn't even do that much, sacrificed sleep, food, gym, because I thought I needed to hustle, It really made me think I'm some 17yo entrepreneur, (I still am ambitious but I want to be rational and realistic) I literally feel like it made my personality change and I've been living fake life last 2 months, next month I will go my doctor, and now I'm really scared of meds, because I realized how dangerous it can be. Also when I have day off, I have constant rumination and have 0 ambition, it feels like I don't have purpose and I will be depressed forever and nothing can fix me, I know it's not true, but IT FOR SURE DOES feel like that in that moment
This brought tears to my eyes... so true and such a relief to hear that it's ok if you are a bit different, to not have to try and 'fit in' with the so called 'normal' people. This is just what neurodiverse people and anyone with anything that makes them different needs to hear! Thank you for the beautiful message!
I am trying to simplify my life and be genuine with what is in it. Nature and being outside helps a lot, I need to do it every day.
ADHD diagnoses at 8 have went to some college, had multiple labor jobs, and currently 1.5 years into my business fulltime. Wife and 2 boys. It's tough some days but I'm learning to one let go of what you can't control, 2 take steps each day towards your ideal person. Even if the day before you jacked it all up. And 3 stay positive don't allow the negative thoughts to build a wall. Speak over your life! Life and death lie in the power of the tongue and those who love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
awesome! what kind of business did you start!
@@duncanbug I Pressure wash and build fences. Honestly I do anything that people want to pay for within reason 😆. Click on my page I have a few videos.
i often find that i can never just let myself enjoy things. everything i do must be in the pursuit of being productive somehow. it truly is a skill to know when to chill out and be in the moment
This is so relevant right now! I believe lockdown has made a lot of people reassess their jobs/ careers including myself. I recently quit a really good job because it stopped being fun and engaging and I dreaded going into the office. I’m now working less hours helping to run a local brewery, it’s less money but so much more rewarding in other ways.
A great thing about adhd - my brother and I get into fiery discussions regarding life, society and politics. The rapid emotional build really drives me to go to politics and change things for the better. I know a job in a charity, politics, caring, etc on minimum wage would bring me 100x more happiness than earning tens of thousands as a banker.
The only downside - inattentiveness. Finding the drive is easy; Maintaining it, not so much.
Well said., Stuart !! My old councelor used to say "there are no shoulds, havetos, or musts". Which is great if you can live by those standards. Unfortunately engrained since childhood.., "you must obey" and follow societys dictates. How awful is that? Where is the freedom? where is the individuality?? . How do we break out of that old mold?? to comply?? and to be codependent??? Not easy.
I disagree that people who are ‘successful’ in our culture are ‘extraordinary’. I think that the game is rigged, and most ‘successful’ people are successful because the game was set up by them and for them. I don’t think successful people are extraordinary. I think most of them are extraordinarily advantaged to begin with. Great video tho 👍🏻 I love the idea of a second renaissance and I see exactly what you’re saying. It is very heartening 💕💕💕
Well, I think being born privelaged is still extraordinary because its not the average. I'm mainly talking about the people that worked their way up from nothing.
i completely agree.
I’ve always struggled to fit in, could only get close when I’d had a few drinks. Now I’m sober I realise ‘the mainstream’ today seems to be obsessed with achievement and validation. Right now I’m in Mexico studying yoga but I’d do anything to be walking around that lake!😀
This message is a very powerful one! Thank you!
I absolutely agree! I've just been figuring this out lately. I have weaknesses, yes, but I also have strengths. There are some things that I do so much better than other people! I've focused my whole life on my shortcomings instead of realizing there are things that come naturally for me that seem so difficult for other people. I've been learning how to play to my strengths instead of trying to force myself to do things the way other people do, and it's been working very well. Thank you Stuart for sharing your view with everyone! Your channel is very inspirational and it makes me feel there's a community of people out their that's just like me in so many ways. Thanks!
Thank you. So helpful to hear these things and see all the comments of people that can relate. Peace and joy are more important than fitting a mold.
I know people who think they are what they do and I can assure you they are anything but easy going or calm
This is so on point and yeah being eccentric can be really hard. All the people who find meaning in following the norm are reinforced in thinking what they do is correct and when they see your ADHD circus rolling around they will often let you know that you are doing it wrong. You just reinforced me in thinking that my off center path in life is totally fine. I need more of this :)
You're on a roll with these videos! I actually quit a very high demand job in August of '21 because the pace was just unattainable. I was there for almost three years and that was more than enough. I liked the job, but I also really liked how it made me "look" like a grown up from other peoples points of view (It was in HR). As someone who mostly worked in Grocery/odd jobs throughout my lifetime, this was my first "big girl job" and I liked that people seemed to take me more seriously. That being said, the stress just wasn't worth the money or the title if it meant I would have to continue digging myself an early grave. The job was so stressful, I was put on meds for depression, started having migraines plus a number of other ailments. I was seeing a doctor regularly for conditions that sprouted up while I worked there. Like a miracle, once I quite, everything was peachy. Now I'm just back to struggling with ONLY normal ADHD stuff. LOL Many well wishes from Michigan.
Glad you saw the light Heather!
Hi I know what that's like I just recently quit my job in August too. It wasn't hard work but it was really getting to me and it being unorganized and not knowing what you're doing from day to day not being told or being the last one to know what was happening was frustrating me. So I just up and left after leaving a short resignation and talking with the manager. I've applied at another job now which very likely will be easier very similar to what I used to have but with a better work atmosphere, more structure in a better supervisors to work with. I know what it's like with the depression I deal with anxiety at times but I am coming over it meditation, counseling with a minister, exercise and being in nature. Hold fast.
@@ricoender8020 I'm glad you were able to leave that toxic job situation and go somewhere better! Good job on getting help and finding a way to deal with the depression and anxiety. I know for myself, I didn't realize how bad that job impacted the other parts of my life until recently. Gosh, especially the impulse shopping and excess drinking. Absolutely terrible. Anyway, I'll end on a positive note by again saying, good for you! It takes courage to leave a job. Cheers to a new year of possibilities!
@@itsmeheathermarie Thanks! Still waiting to hear back from the place about wether or not they'll hire. I believe a second interview is possible and a test.
But hopefully so. 😀
@@ricoender8020 My fingers, toes and eyes (lol) are crossed for you! Keep us posted! :D
I wholeheartedly agree with this! 💯
Thank-you so much for this video. I needed to hear this. Especially realizing recently why I think the way I do.
I was brainwashed in VFX school to accept overwork (aka crunch) as a requirement, but despite ultimately choosing not to pursue a studio career almost 2 years ago, I am still working to untangle productivity from hours worked. Instead I'm trying to be more efficient with the time I do spend working. I'm sure many people here can relate to having only x amount of hours to focus in a day. It's one of the neurotypical walls I always butted up against but never understood why I struggled so much until I realized I have ADHD.
You on fire 🔥🔥 today my fellow ADHD brother! I was just thinking about this over the week here branched out I'm improving myself by getting stronger I'm going to start picking up some hobbies doing some things that I knew I've wanted to do for a long time, training for endurance backpacking taking up shooting, I'm over here in America so a natural thing for us, and I've just recently reapplied for a position that could be better for my mental health. I have several friends that work there and a person that I used to work with at my former job so we'll see how it works out.
I'm just started recently to saying the mantra to myself I am good enough I'm good enough I have room for improvement I am good enough. Instead of trying to obtain perfection which no one has, except God himself and his Son Jesus Christ.
Glad to see that you are doing better brother and that you are improving yourself and living a quite and peaceful life. In the Bible says if it be possible then live peacefully with all men. Until the next video.😀
I've been working on listening to my body, emotions, and myself, and I think this is going to be a great year for learning what I want.
Totally agree especially the “academic part”, not everyone is meant to be an academic, is demands lots of focus that some people have naturally and that some don’t. I don’t need to change myself to fit some standard that I may not even like when I achieve it. Most people aren’t really happy so why bother and go with the flow? It’s better if we focus our energy into leveraging our strengths and finding what works for us instead of changing ourselves and deeming ourselves as disabled if we don’t fit the category that the world put for us. Everyone seems to be obsessed with praise not with wisdom. People are walking through life without looking forward 30 years from now which is wrong. They are deeming themselves to be happy youngsters and ill old people. Care for yourselves guys. Eat healthy and sleep well. Don’t do all-nighters. Take care of yourself and make it a priority.
This video made my day.
It’s been awhile Mr. Anderson but worth the wait. Once again you killed it with your influential messages and profound forward thinking ~
I was literally having this conversation with myself...all points 💯. If you don't reflect will you ever experience any self-improvement or character development (?).
This video has been saved because I needed this reassurance 😌.
Dude, love your channel. It is great to see you thriving with your creative process!
I really like that your point of view has changed for the better. I'm now really striving for my dream job as a forest ranger.
came here for the ADHD content, stayed for the realness! keep it up man, one of my fav channels recently
💯 Your videos made me realize that I probably have inattentive adhd. Looking for a specialist to see if I'm right. When all the pieces fell into place I literally cried. I've been so misunderstood my whole life and I've been so hard on myself because of it. Thanks for the content. It's helped.
Thank you for speaking truth, a rarity indeed! 💕
Thanks Stu! Completely agree!!
Loved this video, it was spot on. Social conditioning can have an awful effect on our life choices and mental state. You only live once. Live the life you want to lead, and do what makes you happy and content. That in itself is priceless. Best wishes to you and all your subscribers ❤
Just found your channel, your awesome dude if the channel makes you happy keep going. Your perspective is awesome and resonates well with me (recently diagnosed adult adhd)
Thanks for this film, it reminds me to recenter myself. I feel the societal pressure and struggle with autism and adhd. I want to keep going at my pace.
As a new subscriber I’m liking the contrast of content 👌👌
Glad to know I'm doing something right then!
I set myself standards, only to fail. I feel like whatever I do is never good enough for myself. I think it stems from a pattern of constantly setting myself goals, only to fall off the wagon somewhere along the way. It's so exhausting 😩 It's like I don't trust myself to keep going.
ENJOYING THESE WALK AND TALKS, STUART
THANK YOU
Excellent video Stuart.
Thanks
Coincidently, my boss has our office reading "Mindset, The New Psychology of Success" by Dr. Carol S. Dweck, just as you posted this video. It pertains to this very topic of achievement and perception of achievement. I'm finding it to be an interesting read, even if I don't align 1-1 with Dr. Dweck's every viewpoint. Still, there is much about constructive criticism, taking it personally, and causing someone to feel like a failure I can relate to. (As a fellow Inattentive ADHD'er, this is one symptom I routinely struggle with). Dr. Dweck asserts this as a "fixed" mindset that permanently labels oneself. Her encouragement, is to view setbacks as merely opportunities for improvement, nurturing a "growth" mindset. This, I do find intriguing and at least worth consideration.
I’m currently struggling in a “corporate” job and really agree with this video. Only problem is I need to pay the bills while trying to find the perfect thing for me to do 😑
The word success is inextricably tied to money and capitalism. Success doesn’t have any meaning for me, it’s a category that I find useful only in order to recognise lifestyles that I don’t value. Whenever anyone talks about being successful, they’ve lost me.
I agree... I though working your ass off for tons of money is what I want... frankly too much work is killing me and if I loose or gain a greater amount of money, as long as I have enough savings to take care of myself I do not feel too good or too bad for too long.... I had a salary raise last week and the company promised even greater salary in near future, but I quit without notice this monday because I could not deal with the stress, my boss always criticizes me and messes with my self confidence, I regretted at first, but to be frank I love having more time and energy to read and study things, but when I have to work 9h per day it kills me, I cannot get out of bed, I cannot fall asleep, I come back from work, too tired to prepare for another day, too tired to read or work out, all I want is to get a hot shower and sink my stomach in beer... that isn't life
I feel like the only thing I need to be happy in my life is to find the way how to work and travel or work, then travel only. And I can't.
You just haven't figured it out *yet*
Don’t believe the “hustle porn” 🤣😉
Thanks man ❤
I love your videos thanks 🙏
*Ecc.1:* 14I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
Masking is very common amongst people with ADHD and some of us even develop something called the imposter-syndrome.
The phrase “never meet your idols” won’t cure it but the opposite definitely will.
To be Great and Special takes energy.
Depression is a time to reflect and prepare yourself, recharging your batteries.
Ready to join the World with special gifts.
I just feel like iam just an outsider in this world. Incompetent and weak. Surrounded by people making their effort and pushing them closer to their goals. Everything is working for em. I feel alone, not good at anything 22 and dependent on my parents. I wish i was not born or was a stillborn. 😞
Currently iam having my exams iam in my fourth year of uni and don't know how i came till here every day feels like i should drop out, but now iam exhausted don't know what to do, i have no strength to push further.
Jobless, Average student, dependent on my parents. Just want to do simple job like cashier, rider or salesman that doesn't require mental focus but think why i have studied so much what for what will people say blah blah blah
Looking for an escape pffff
For what it's worth, aside from the experience, uni was a waste of time for me, it is for a lot of people. But at 22 you haven't even started living, take advantage if your youth and research your interests and try everything - there's so much opportunity.
@@ADHDMastery thanks for the support, Keep uploading you are the only person i can resonate, other than that no one understands me not even my parents they just say study hard try keep trying but how to explain them that it's even hard for me try. I have failed in in few courses and i have to give a retake and it will take a year more which extends my four year degree but what is painful is that will graduate or end up dropped out.
Hey I can understand and sympathize I went to college but I was ony able to complete three semesters before I left and never went back. I'm about 12+ years older than you so don't be worried about that. Thankfully I have parents and family members that make an effort to understand what I go through and I have a few good friends, not many but a few, so I'm thankful for that. So be thankful don't be too hard on yourself. That that you're able to go to uni is great if you can finish then more power to you. Peace out.
@@ricoender8020 thanks man. I hope so and pray to god for strength to clear out uni and follow what energizes me.
@@harismir4461 I am 20+ years older and also struggled at uni and failed a few papers & had to switch degrees. I got a desk job that paid well but wasn’t satisfying & made me depressed for years. I used to envy anyone doing a job they enjoyed & daydreamed about doing something practical instead of pushing paper around a desk. I really tried to like what I was doing but just got more depressed. So my advice is you are still really young. There is nothing wrong with still living with your parents at your age. Think hard about what you would actually enjoy doing. Maybe get some careers counselling to help work out what. And go about pursuing it. I am sure you will be happier & more successful in the long term doing that than trying to fit yourself to doing something you don’t really enjoy. Even if it takes you a while to get established & feel like you’re making progress. From my age 30 is v young - and you are not even close so don’t give up!
I love this video, so many tips and useful insights. Which national park you were at ?
It's Brecon again
I can do Alot but I do everything with my emotions it's good but for some things it is not you could get hurt more easily
Hi Stuart, first off I love your videos and look forward to them. Just wanted to say though that it might be confusing for anyone just setting out on their ADHD journey to talk categorise it as a Mental Health issue. I go through cycles of Anxiety and Depression as my mental health suffers/improves. ADHD however is always there. I can manage it well, or not, but it is always underpinning everything for better or for worse. The word 'disorder' can be challenging for some, as can 'condition'. However I wouldn't want anyone to think they can or need to 'recover' from or 'cure' ADHD. I know that is not what you are saying here or in any of your videos. Just adding my two cents to the ADHD community in the hope that it helps someone. Thanks from Ireland, Dave
They might not like the term 'condition' etc, but it is what it is. Yes - It's only about managing it, which most people want to do.
Do you categorize "mental health issues" as something a person can be cured from?. In fact, in the case of most of the mental "issues", there is no "cure" for most of the mental diseases, eg.. ADD/ADHD is defined not as a "mental disorder" but as childhood brain Development Disorder, in some cases, the symptoms disappear or improve as the brain end its development. As the cause of the "disorder" is a malfunction of an areas in the brain, that area may be in charged of other functions, such as memory, controlling emotional responses (anxiety e.g.), orientation, etc. The disorder includes also "mental issues", such as anxiety.
what was the music you used at the start of your video? please reply i liked it
Sir are you still doing the same morning routine and working out at home?
Actually first!
Sounds great, but would this apply if I lived in Iran or the DRC?
I'd imagine it would be harder given their culture
@@ADHDMastery sorry, I was drunk
Safhguru channel reinforces this idea ;-).
Osho is awesome
Hi, I was just wondering what medication, if any ,youre on right now
None at all
this song?