Thank you for watching and sharing this space with me. I'd love to know what came up for you? If you’'re ready to start or deepen your healing journey, I'd be honored to journey with you. Learn more about how we might do that with this link (self-paced courses & meditations, online group healing, 1:1) courageousjourneys.com/courses If you're on social, let's connect Facebook facebook.com/courageousjourneys TikTok www.tiktok.com/@survivorwhisperer
I'm so glad the video resonated so deeply for you. I hope you feel inspired for what is possible as you continue your healing journey. ❤. *_So you don't feel duped 😉, I want to clarify, I am not a Dr but, you can call me anything you like. ❤🙂 I am a Master's level trained and experienced therapist (license retired)_ . So glad you're here!
i had traumas starting as a child and had great shyness🥵started then and led into social anxieties with personality disorders then leading into addictive behaviors then finding myself in having being put threw humiliation,shame,and then leading into depression,anxieties,ocd’s,etc.not being able to trust
There is definitely hope. Don't give up guys. I remember being in college and my anxiety and ocd was at its peak. I remember hearing a song on the radio. It was saying something like you can do it. I know that it wasn't a sign but i decided to take it as a sign. What helped me is asking myself questions. Why did i react that way. Why did that happen. When i get an answer I then again ask why, why, why until I get to the core. I also research any related topic to social anxiety that's how i got to trauma. Because when I was caught up in my ocd I didn't even know that I had social anxiety. And after writing down and thinking through all that happened to me. I notice that when i go out I don't experience anxiety like I used to before. The anxiety I experienced didn't happen for no reason. My ocd didn't happen for no reason. I can see now that it was maladaptive behavior but that was my way of dealing with what happened to me. It was the way my psyche chose to survive. I can't blame it for it. It came out of the treatment I got from my environment.
Thank you so much for sharing hope for others on their journey and your own experience. I'm so glad you've been able to gain understanding in the underlying issues. ❤️ Thank you for watching and commenting.
I could relate to all that happening as i was put threw a great amount of embarrassment,humility,shamefulness,with great amount of exposure treatments left with lasting humility,and shame
This is me for sure, I've healed a huge amount but still have a ways to go. One big challenge I have socialising is finding things to talk about, almost everyone I meet my age or younger has partners and a family (some with grandkids now) I've missed out on all of that so I can't relate to most people I meet very well. So I feel very left out and there's a lot of shame there as well.
There is absolutely nothing to feel ashamed about in not having a partner or children. Though I know there are many reasons we can feel that shame anyway. ❤ You're right, it does make it more challenging to engage when you don't think you have much in common. But, what if it's an opportunity to go a bit deeper, beyond the "typical" things people tend to casually talk about? 😉 Thank you for watching and sharing. ❤
Thank You For Bringing Such Helpful Videos On To Help Understand What It’s All About And Why It Happens,And What Can Do To Help Making It All Better ❤️🙏Namaste
I'm so glad you stumbled across it too and it was helpful to hear! 😊 Thanks so much for your kind words and welcome to the Courageous Journeys community! ❤️
I've become such a recluse and I don't want to leave my house. I was sexually abused from infant to 3, adopted, then sexually abused and trafficked by my uncle for 1.5yrs at age 13/14, raped in college, then again raped 6yrs ago. I also divorced an emotional/physical abuser of 15yrs before the rape happened 6yrs ago. I feel like I'm always looking for the next shoe to drop. When will I stop being the victim and just be a survivor. Every time I go out to the store (I put off until I can't), I look at men, wondering if he's an abuser, or him, or him. To me, every man is an abuser. I've even stopped texting my friends. I've stopped being social. I'm 52 yrs old, have a 22 and 17yr old sons, that I made sure that they knew how NOT to treat a woman, as I didn't make it a secret about my sexual abuse (to some extent) with them. They blame me for the divorce, and my 17yr old decided to live with his dad, so I'm now alone. I guess my depression ruined yet another relationship. I'm just the mom taxi now. My self-worth is just going lower and lower. I'm a self-harmer, though I try not to be. I self-sabotage, and even though I know I'm incredibly smart, I feel useless. I'm on disability, because I just can't function in a job anymore. It makes me feel like I'm worthless. Of course, I've heard this most of my life from abusers and a spouse. I've been in counseling on /off since I was 16, when I told my parents about my uncle (but never told them of the trafficking, though). I was social for the last part of my marriage (div. 2014), and after, as I had a good support system. But, after this last rape, I've just lost it. I went back to square one. Having my younger son move out just about made me want to just end it. I almost succeeded in the past, after the college rape. I'm struggling right now, but I do see a therapist at least weekly, and I am completely honest with her, if I do something stupid. Otherwise, how can it help, if I'm not honest about what I've done. Most of my friends are from church. I played my cello in a talent show for our music ministry last month, and I thought that I could finally start going back, since it kinda broke the ice, but I just can't get myself to go, even though, the people there (at least my friends) I trust. I know if I go there, I can integrate slowly, but I just haven't been able to commit myself to get out there. How do I get the courage to go out and reconnect?
Thanks so much for watching and sharing your experience. I'm sorry there have been, and continue to be, so much pain and so many challenges. ❤️ I'm glad you have the support of a therapist. You already have the courage, you've shown that, it's just a matter of being able to trust it.
@@PeggyOliveiraMSW Thank you. Sometimes, I forget about the courage, as it gets over-shadowed by everything else. Yes, it takes courage, which I guess I have, to come extent, to keep going. Therapy, and just continuing to live, right now is courage, I guess. I guess I needed to see that word. That helps, at least a bit. Thank you.
I could relate to all your talking about as having it a lot from what was happening to me starting from as a child growing up adolescent into adulthood not being able to escape or overcome having to endure all the times in many ways❤️🤨😎
I'm so glad it helped! Healing the remnants of trauma is a multi-layered process. My suggestion would be to gain a bit more understanding of the impact of the type of trauma, what beliefs and fears it created, then you have to work on dismantling those beliefs so you "feel" into the safety and trust within and around you. I know all of this may sound a bit... nonsensical or overwhelming. 😉 It makes more sense the further you move along on the healing journey. The most important thing, when it comes to working on healing from trauma, is that you have (qualified) support through the process. Thank you for watching and commenting. ❤️
It all started as a child mostly being at wrong places at wrong times when i was taken advantage of in sneaky ways i didn’t expect like being set up to look at,and touch somethings as tricks with putting things in certain places purposely knowing I’ll look and touch somethings as it was like sneaky heinous acts on me for them to get something from it which wasn’t a good thing at the time as it initiated something wrong to causing addictive habits into the future especially not good when a child didn’t want this from the beginning as it was a form of breaking the will of the child as they say bad move playing with the child’s head🥵and i’am very sorry to vent here,and i thank you for understanding me😐
Great question. 🙂 They are basically the same and often used interchangeably. Generally, a personality disorder will have characteristics that are generalized to all situations (not just social). Where a specific struggle or issue (social anxiety) will be looked at more as symptoms or behaviors. In my opinion, personality disorders are often a way to label people who have very ingrained beliefs and symptoms that are pretty challenging to change... therefore, the idea is, it is part of their "personality" so the best you can hope for is to treat symptoms. You probably know I don't agree with this idea. 😉
Thank you for watching and sharing this space with me. I'd love to know what came up for you?
If you’'re ready to start or deepen your healing journey, I'd be honored to journey with you. Learn more about how we might do that with this link (self-paced courses & meditations, online group healing, 1:1) courageousjourneys.com/courses
If you're on social, let's connect
Facebook facebook.com/courageousjourneys
TikTok www.tiktok.com/@survivorwhisperer
Targeted a very specific spot within my soul that I believe needs deep healing from within. Always love your videos Dr. Peggy. Thank you so much
I'm so glad the video resonated so deeply for you. I hope you feel inspired for what is possible as you continue your healing journey. ❤. *_So you don't feel duped 😉, I want to clarify, I am not a Dr but, you can call me anything you like. ❤🙂 I am a Master's level trained and experienced therapist (license retired)_ . So glad you're here!
i had traumas starting as a child and had great shyness🥵started then and led into social anxieties with personality disorders then leading into addictive behaviors then finding myself in having being put threw humiliation,shame,and then leading into depression,anxieties,ocd’s,etc.not being able to trust
There is definitely hope. Don't give up guys.
I remember being in college and my anxiety and ocd was at its peak. I remember hearing a song on the radio. It was saying something like you can do it. I know that it wasn't a sign but i decided to take it as a sign.
What helped me is asking myself questions. Why did i react that way. Why did that happen. When i get an answer I then again ask why, why, why until I get to the core.
I also research any related topic to social anxiety that's how i got to trauma.
Because when I was caught up in my ocd I didn't even know that I had social anxiety. And after writing down and thinking through all that happened to me. I notice that when i go out I don't experience anxiety like I used to before.
The anxiety I experienced didn't happen for no reason. My ocd didn't happen for no reason.
I can see now that it was maladaptive behavior but that was my way of dealing with what happened to me.
It was the way my psyche chose to survive. I can't blame it for it. It came out of the treatment I got from my environment.
Thank you so much for sharing hope for others on their journey and your own experience. I'm so glad you've been able to gain understanding in the underlying issues. ❤️ Thank you for watching and commenting.
I find this very helpful Peggy. I feel that I have social anxiety. I can't be among people and I feel different.
I'm so glad it feels helpful. ❤️ Thank you for watching and sharing.
I could relate to all that happening as i was put threw a great amount of embarrassment,humility,shamefulness,with great amount of exposure treatments left with lasting humility,and shame
Please try to remember, the shame has never been yours to carry. ❤️
This is me for sure, I've healed a huge amount but still have a ways to go. One big challenge I have socialising is finding things to talk about, almost everyone I meet my age or younger has partners and a family (some with grandkids now) I've missed out on all of that so I can't relate to most people I meet very well. So I feel very left out and there's a lot of shame there as well.
There is absolutely nothing to feel ashamed about in not having a partner or children. Though I know there are many reasons we can feel that shame anyway. ❤ You're right, it does make it more challenging to engage when you don't think you have much in common. But, what if it's an opportunity to go a bit deeper, beyond the "typical" things people tend to casually talk about? 😉 Thank you for watching and sharing. ❤
Thank You For Bringing Such Helpful Videos On To Help Understand What It’s All About And Why It Happens,And What Can Do To Help Making It All Better ❤️🙏Namaste
You're so welcome. I'm glad they're helpful. ❤️
I love your vibe and also such good and important insight. I’m glad I stumbled across this video randomly. It’s something I needed to hear ❤️
I'm so glad you stumbled across it too and it was helpful to hear! 😊 Thanks so much for your kind words and welcome to the Courageous Journeys community! ❤️
Thank you for bringing this wonderful great video on😘
Thank you so much! You're beautiful ❤
You're very welcome. ❤️
I've become such a recluse and I don't want to leave my house. I was sexually abused from infant to 3, adopted, then sexually abused and trafficked by my uncle for 1.5yrs at age 13/14, raped in college, then again raped 6yrs ago. I also divorced an emotional/physical abuser of 15yrs before the rape happened 6yrs ago. I feel like I'm always looking for the next shoe to drop. When will I stop being the victim and just be a survivor. Every time I go out to the store (I put off until I can't), I look at men, wondering if he's an abuser, or him, or him. To me, every man is an abuser. I've even stopped texting my friends. I've stopped being social. I'm 52 yrs old, have a 22 and 17yr old sons, that I made sure that they knew how NOT to treat a woman, as I didn't make it a secret about my sexual abuse (to some extent) with them. They blame me for the divorce, and my 17yr old decided to live with his dad, so I'm now alone. I guess my depression ruined yet another relationship. I'm just the mom taxi now. My self-worth is just going lower and lower. I'm a self-harmer, though I try not to be. I self-sabotage, and even though I know I'm incredibly smart, I feel useless. I'm on disability, because I just can't function in a job anymore. It makes me feel like I'm worthless. Of course, I've heard this most of my life from abusers and a spouse. I've been in counseling on /off since I was 16, when I told my parents about my uncle (but never told them of the trafficking, though). I was social for the last part of my marriage (div. 2014), and after, as I had a good support system. But, after this last rape, I've just lost it. I went back to square one. Having my younger son move out just about made me want to just end it. I almost succeeded in the past, after the college rape. I'm struggling right now, but I do see a therapist at least weekly, and I am completely honest with her, if I do something stupid. Otherwise, how can it help, if I'm not honest about what I've done. Most of my friends are from church. I played my cello in a talent show for our music ministry last month, and I thought that I could finally start going back, since it kinda broke the ice, but I just can't get myself to go, even though, the people there (at least my friends) I trust. I know if I go there, I can integrate slowly, but I just haven't been able to commit myself to get out there. How do I get the courage to go out and reconnect?
Thanks so much for watching and sharing your experience. I'm sorry there have been, and continue to be, so much pain and so many challenges. ❤️ I'm glad you have the support of a therapist. You already have the courage, you've shown that, it's just a matter of being able to trust it.
@@PeggyOliveiraMSW Thank you. Sometimes, I forget about the courage, as it gets over-shadowed by everything else. Yes, it takes courage, which I guess I have, to come extent, to keep going. Therapy, and just continuing to live, right now is courage, I guess. I guess I needed to see that word. That helps, at least a bit. Thank you.
I know I won’t be able to fix ur problems bc I haven’t gone through your issues, but if there is anything I can do, I’m willing to help
I could relate to all your talking about as having it a lot from what was happening to me starting from as a child growing up adolescent into adulthood not being able to escape or overcome having to endure all the times in many ways❤️🤨😎
Thank you for sharing and watching. ❤️
thank you for this video. it is really helpful
You're very welcome! I'm so glad it helped. ❤️
Thank you, this video helped me pinpoint the traumatic situation that is at the origin of my social anxiety.
Knowing that, how do I resolve my issue?
I'm so glad it helped! Healing the remnants of trauma is a multi-layered process. My suggestion would be to gain a bit more understanding of the impact of the type of trauma, what beliefs and fears it created, then you have to work on dismantling those beliefs so you "feel" into the safety and trust within and around you. I know all of this may sound a bit... nonsensical or overwhelming. 😉 It makes more sense the further you move along on the healing journey. The most important thing, when it comes to working on healing from trauma, is that you have (qualified) support through the process. Thank you for watching and commenting. ❤️
It all started as a child mostly being at wrong places at wrong times when i was taken advantage of in sneaky ways i didn’t expect like being set up to look at,and touch somethings as tricks with putting things in certain places purposely knowing I’ll look and touch somethings as it was like sneaky heinous acts on me for them to get something from it which wasn’t a good thing at the time as it initiated something wrong to causing addictive habits into the future especially not good when a child didn’t want this from the beginning as it was a form of breaking the will of the child as they say bad move playing with the child’s head🥵and i’am very sorry to vent here,and i thank you for understanding me😐
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I'm so sorry you've experienced so much pain. ❤️
Jesus Heals ❤️🙌🏾
What is the difference between avoidant personality disorder and social anxiety?
Great question. 🙂 They are basically the same and often used interchangeably. Generally, a personality disorder will have characteristics that are generalized to all situations (not just social). Where a specific struggle or issue (social anxiety) will be looked at more as symptoms or behaviors. In my opinion, personality disorders are often a way to label people who have very ingrained beliefs and symptoms that are pretty challenging to change... therefore, the idea is, it is part of their "personality" so the best you can hope for is to treat symptoms. You probably know I don't agree with this idea. 😉
t h a n k y o u
you hit the ball out of the ballpark
this started me ptsing
now i have to normalize
Thank you for watching. I'm glad it helped. ❤️
Gorgeous woman