Watching witches in their early 20's who are so much more articulate and knowledgeable than I am in my 40's is incredibly intimidating! But I feel so proud of them, too, weirdly. Just happy that they have such confidence in who they are and what they are doing. It's inspiring.
I certainly don’t have that issue! 🤷🏼♀️😂 I’m 51 and am a total bibliophile & I read read READ (mostly non-fiction) and study! And obsessed with research. I’m curious why are YOU so…..uninformed? So lacking in that area? You should know A LOT more than someone in their 20s just getting into it. Also how do you even know if these young witches know all this stuff? If you don’t know it, they could be making ir all up! 🙄😂 Nit sure if you’re around a lot of the pagan community BUT I’d say there’s more of Them who just make their knowledge up…soooo many have issues with that…especially when young…. But yea, when young I guess they feel intimidated by the older witches (that’s why I meant YOU should be the one with more knowledge if you’ve been a practicing witch for decades) & feel the need to make up A LOT of total BS. It’s one of the reasons I gave up attempting much connections with most witchcraft or pagan communities. Also I’m a Germanic/British traditional witch…..so it’s VERY VERY hard to find like minded souls…..it’s too niche 🤷🏼♀️
@@6Haunted-Days Should? Ought to?Why? That's a bit condescending. Who is to say younger people don't have the knowledge and your putdowns are exactly why I don't engage with older Pagans. I am 64 by the way.
When I was a child I used to think those dust particles in a ray of sunlight were fairies. I still call it dust fairies and I find magic in watching my children now try to catch the dust fairies as I used to as a child ❤️🧚🏼♀️
I like how you mention and consider your early experiences as a witch as serious and as “firsts”. A lot of stuff I did when I was young was dumb and probably not well executed but it was still valid
I have always fallen on the more 'serious' side of the line when it comes to my craft, but I think it can be to a fault occasionally. In fact, your videoos have really shown me the value of lightening up a bit about the craft, not taking things so seriously, having some fun and letting go :)
Oh, man, the feeling of self consciousness about my altar! I don't feel insecure so much; I know my own faith and why my practice is the way it is. But as much as I would love to share my altar with other witches (the Discords and Reddits always have those show-and-tell days...), I just can't bring myself to. My choices are so distinct and particular and difficult to explain that I don't think I could bare for any such image to go public, no matter how much I'm dying for a kindred spirit to see and acknowledge it.
Literally like 2 days ago I was talking about a like crises of faith I'm going through, and how much I miss your patreon and how I felt like I belonged there and then you put this up. Thanks patron friends! I look forward to rejoining you at the beginning of July!
I'm going through a particularly rough extended period and I'm definitely going through a crisis of faith. Last time I had a big crisis of faith, I returned to the church, that's definitely not going to happen this time! My best friend died unexpectedly in May, age 40, we met the week after her 19th & my 16th birthday, our birthdays are a day apart. I'm going through hell health wise, 3 emergency department admissions in 4 months. Crisis in housing right now too. I'm so exhausted. I've been on bed rest for a week, not even managing to shower most days, let alone attend anything vaguely looking like a witchcraft practice. I'm fed up, heartbroken and exhausted. I don't even remember the last time I picked up a deck of cards, cardslinging is one of my passions. I feel like I'm running on empty. I honestly don't know how to keep going.
This video is so important to me and I am pausing now to rewatch tomorrow with some pen and paper. I'm too tired from a long day, for so much profoundness. "I was mourning filling comfortable in my unchangeable beliefs, and had a paradigm shift of consciousness." This hits me like a jolly rock right now. 🪨😭 You make me feel seen 💞 It's a good time to be a witch 🧹
I don't think I've ever had a crisis of faith as a witch, more like a bad coven experience that has kind of put me off them. From that experience, I learned that I like my autonomy and pace in my witchy practice . Even though I like to do rituals with others, I prefer it to be as a group of equals rather than the structured hierarchy of a coven.
I always wanted to be the darl Witch too for the same reason. I think I have always had the Pagan leanings but I don't feel I really fit in as I really go for crystals, the aesthetic, etc. I just follow the Equinoxes, garden, snorkel as much as possible and garden, cook and study. Don't know where I fit in really.
This video was exactly what I needed exactly when I needed it. There's me going through the hardest time of my life and I'm just like do I even have the energy for this anymore. And you reminded me it's okay to take a break when you need it. When your energy is low or if life calls for your focus to be elsewhere. I always seem to find my way back to your channel when I've gone through a time where I have forgotten to focus on myself and my journey.
Super relatable. To your point in finding witchcraft in non-traditional ways: while I was always interested in 'witchy' things like tarot and learning how my intuition worked I feel like my biggest doorway into witchcraft has been my life's work (which is learning and teaching acting work called Movement Psychology) which is not a typical way in. But I understand witchcraft because of how I've learned to connect into my art. The principles are the same just used slightly differently. Thanks, Kelly-Ann! -Aurora
I relate to this whole entire video. I often see how I (an INFP) have a totally different witchcraft style and interests than the xNxJ types of witches on youtube. I like watching all kinds of witches with different personalities, they feed my Ne and inspire me so much. But yeah, the first 15 years of being a witch I felt like I wasn't doing things like I should. Now since I became a mom 2 years ago for some reason I feel sooo confident in the way I live my life, my choice and how I witch, and definitely since I read your book it was like confirmation that I was a valid witch all along my nearly 20 years of being involved in the craft. Much love, your videos make me so happy in this difficult life I live of motherhood with almost no time to myself and almost no time to witch anymore. But I put on your videos with my earphones and I can breathe again.
I was a child of nature, and I always was in touch with the energy that was in the wind or the wood or the sky and animal encounters. It's just the level of existence that I've always been consistently aware. I think the insecurity has to do with living in man-made systems. I rarely liked going to school or church, or functions in general where some kind of expectations were foisted on me (everyone else seemed pretty much okay with it). So not fitting in or trying to reconcile the two kinds of experiences may have caused insecurities. I think being highly sensitive is the common theme of such things. I've had other insecurities as well. You mention wanting to be like some of the iconic witches in motion pictures and literature. I remember being scared by Darth Vader early in my childhood (again sensitivity coming into play). The black outfit and cape, the rather ancient predatory look of his mask's eyes. The low frequency rumble when he made others suffer with the slightest gesture. It left an impression. So when I felt threatened by others as a kid, or by life in general, I must've thought it would be nice to have the power that Lord Vader had (though I don't think I thought that explicitly, just wanting something to help out in times of anxiety). Also, other villains in stories seemed to have no inhibitions about who they were or what they would plan and do. So I understand the attraction to what is considered dark. To me it is connected to what is considered in Jungian psychology and Witchcraft as the shadows of personality. It's important to understand them and why they are there so that they can be put to good use and not come out uncontrolled at the seams. Sometimes I think about how irrational it is to think or believe that I am affecting any change by way of energy. Sometimes I think I am just being crazy. But, since life (other people, to be frank) has decided to put me into a virtual witch's cradle, it is all I have and it is a comfort when things do seem to turn in my favor. So to sum up: I don't fit in; I question myself and motives when I am being boxed in prevented to live freely, and is the mysticism even real? That's where I've gotten unsteady.
It's funny because I am the least hedonistic person alive so my insecurity is watching your videos and feeling like I'm not witchy enough because instead of tapping into my inner wild woman I'm happiest holed up alone with my books or taking a stroll in the woods. We're also the reverse in that I'm a Virgo sun with a Sag moon but I also have a Virgo stellium so that Sag is just enough to keep me from being the most uptight person alive 😂
i am amazed by you articulating the intimate unique experiences that i did not previously even realize i always had. i can now recall the heart-wrenching insecurity i felt looking at the witchy characters i admired, the fictional fantastical adult characters!! wow you’ve unpeeled a layer for me
Ya know I’ve loved you for like 10 yrs and didn’t know we shared an undying love and obsession with the Wicked Witch of the West!! Omg! I’m 51 and every year I LIVED FOR MARCH….that’s when they’d show the Wizard of Oz every year…..before VHS….we couldn’t watch just cuz….made it even more special! Like you…..I worshipped her….LOVE LOVE LOVED her! Everything about her…..the hands, yes! Her hat and gown….her cackle….sigh. I just can’t believe you love her like I do! When the book Wicked came out in 1995….I got it the very day ….OMFG THAT COVER! I have that tattoo on my left arm….😂💀 but yea…still have my 1st edition SIGNED by Gregory Maguire too (and he was VERY excited to see my old 1st edition he didn’t even own anymore 😂)….I could go on and on and on. O! I also too was obsessed with all the Disney witches …..maleficent & th evil queen she’s my fave one…..since I can recall…the word WITCH sends shivers down me…. I’m a Germanic/British traditional witch….28YRS now….tho truly….I’ve been of witch blood since birth (yes I adore Nigel Jackson, even tho he defected Back to xtianity…why do so many of the greats do that GAH)
And wanted to add….being a witch in the late 80s and early 90s in a small city in the Midwest….Wicca was all I found and I kinda loved it at first…but it didn’t HIT right.l.long story short….found traditional witchcraft in 95….and I found HOME….it was my soul….darkness is where I always resided….Wicca was just …much MUCH too light for me….such a huge focus on the Goddess, I got the why, but it felt so unbalanced….there were dozens of things but the biggest was the fact it was manmade concoction mix of bunch of stuff and REALLY new. And that’s fine for whatever souls are drawn to that…..for me….I felt so untethered….don’t know why lm even adding this 😂
I am grateful that you mentioned how you were apprehensive about working with Hel while being a pantheist and into chaos magick...I am having a similar issue trying to work with Aphrodite and I booked a session with you for later this month. :)
Omigosh you're so beautiful in this video, hope that's ok to say. This subject is so well timed. So very grateful for you 🙏 My biggest insecurity of late is around my intuition and visions. Sometimes things seem so clear and true...but after the fact I might wonder if I'm losing my mind.
Hey there, Alan Watts wrote a book titled " the wisdom of insecurity" ... It gave me a feeling of wellbeing and peace of mind about not knowing what the hell was going on! Zen-ish
I feel play and silly is very magic and I feel that’s is what my magic is missing. When I was a kid I always wanted to be on this path. I get so much joy knowing I’m doing what little me wanted. But I’m sad little me couldn’t be a witch (strict upbringing) so I wonder what would little me do if she had access to all these tools and knowledge? Never thought about doing inner child work to connect that. Thank you so much for sharing your insecurities and crisis.
Sameee I also found myself relating to Phoebe in charmed and later on willow (when I finally watched Buffy the vampire slayer lmao) I see so much of willow in myself haha
Wish I could heart this video a million times! The bit about being fascinated by the Evil Queens et al really resonated. It was like an innate cautious curiosity, I needed to know everything about them at the same time as them being alluringly dangerous. Also really appreciate you making room for lost times to mental health. I've had mental health challenges since childhood and have learnt to accept I'm on a different timescale sometimes and that's ok.
Thank you for sharing your story. It really helps to see how you related to villains and how you’ve explained it makes so much sense. I’m not in that camp and haven’t really understood it before but was always curious how or why people loved the villains. Now I get it. Thank you. I appreciate how you share and are vulnerable to share yourself, your work, and your healing process. I’m typically very private about my own deep personal healing work but I see how valuable it is to share it so others can also feel more comfortable to share and normalize weird and often hard shit. Keep up the honest and beautiful explorations and sharing that is you hun.
You're such an absolutely amazing person and witch. You're incredibly inspiring and you have helped me more in my craft and on my path than anyone and anything else. Thank you for your words and the power behind them. Thank you for all you do for this community. ❤
the fractals of these energies are so grippingly interesting, the way you feel about Ahslynn is the same way lots feel about you, like oh i dont think i could be that serious or put together feeling... i noticed some of my students or followers have seen me through heart shaped eyeglasses as well and i have to bring some people into sharp reality heehee
Pause is necessary for growth to occur. Deep connection once achieved doesn't need full- on frequent practice to maintain it, acknowledgement of the connection in a low maintenance way is often the best. Its then that opportunities of new direction tend to occur, good chat though and looking forward to the new book.
I would love to be confident to offer services like you do, I'm so private in my practice though, like just doing witchy things that I don't even thinking about. I really do need to connect with you for a session
Thank you so much for this video and for being so honest 🥰 I've been struggling with pretty most of the same insecurities and overanalyzing my more stagnant times. Honestly, since halfway through 2020 until present day, I've never been more tired, physically, mentally, spiritually 🤦🏻♀️ I try to remind myself that my path is more about how I show up for the world because of who I am (witch) rather than doing all of the things. I've written your quote down, "What the Ego wants is not always what the Spirit needs" 🙏🏻 I need to remember that. Go with the mf-ing Flow ❤
4:14 Not Maleficent!! 😂😂 when I was little I was so afraid of telling people that she was the real reason I loved the movie lolll maybe I was just practicing being "silent" 😈🤭 Thank you for being so vulnerable with us. When I lost my partner a few years ago, a book that really helped me was "The Wild Edge of Sorrow". SUCH a great read, and helped me avoid a crisis of faith back then. More recently I have learned that I am autistic, and this new discovery validates all the struggles I've had throughout my life while also (potentially) invalidating my relationship with the Divine. It's similar to your struggles with belief. How much can I rely on my own perception of reality? Do I throw out this huge chunk of who I am simply because my brain is wired to notice synchronicites or "signs"? Does it matter? I'm kind of coming to the conclusion that it doesn't matter to me, and many things can be true at once. I can be autistic, and deeply intutive. I can have a rich relationship with the Divine and be completely grounded in the here and now. Thank you, once again. You've always been a beam of sunshine cutting through the fog 🌈✨
Loved this topic and your vulnerability. I am quite new to this path. Just 2 years in and I'm in my 50's. I was a cradle Catholic and have been a non practicing Catholic for about 10 years. I still do not have the confidence to call myself a witch. I am a wanna be. That is my insecurity. I am a researcher and student at heart and so I have read every thing I can get my hands on. I have so many tools and supplies, but I have yet to do one ritual . I have been a participant at a few, but I am afraid to begin on my own. Only my immediate family is aware of my current path. What advice do you have on overcoming imposter syndrome?
Sincere thanks for discussing how we sometimes are prevented from engaging with aspects of our magick because of grief. Loss has made it necessary to put distance between myself and some elements of the craft that were once vital to my practice (and hopefully will be again) Thank you for giving me hope that I'll be able to come back around to it. Merry Midsummer! You are such a gift to a solitary witch! 💜
Hey I just wanted to let you know I just bought your book in print at Barnes and Noble in Denver. It's so cool to see the pictures and listen to the audio book while I read the book along with you! I'm so stoked to create my own craft. My principles are coming together and I can't wait to fine tune them. So far I am using the Kybalion, some 12 step recovery stuff, some TST stuff, tarot, and metaphysical stuff. Astral travel , sound healing, native american Ute spirituality, and getting more into nature are some of my goals! Love you poptart
Thank you for sharing all this. Have you read «Practical magic» by Alice Hoffman? My favourite witchy story told in magical realism. Highly recommend. I will not get into a rant about the book versus the movie, although I do love Nicole Kidmans Gillian.
Love you, babes! Your outlook is such a tonic, it lifts me up every time I watch you xx WTF is a 'serious' witch anyway? Being organised and regimented in your practice has it's merits, but It seems to me the ones who consider themselves to be 'serious' are (often) the ones who go around trying to tell everyone else how they should and shouldn't be doing things. fuck 'em! Being authentically and awesomely you is the real key to good practice. If you get your magical fizziness by guerrilla gardening in you local council flower beds, scrumping some cemetery dirt from Mrs Groggins grave (and leaving her a little crocheted tea cosy to say thanks) or getting naked under the full moon - that's the right way to do it!
I find it so interesting, the ‘serious’ witchcraft bit, because I view you as one of the most ‘serious’ witches I’ve come across, and it has less to do with rigidity and more to do with perspective. From my pov, you see witchcraft and the spiritual in almost everything, and to me, that’s some serious business!
It’s huge that you can recognize the source of your fear re: waning in your practice and being a public figure! (Sorry, I’m tired and in a lot of pain rn, or I’d have a deeper comment about this. But it’s soothing to me in a way idk how to put into words) ❤
I don't follow enough pre Saturn return witches, but one reason I adore your content is your brain. An intellectual Narnia, whimsical, fervent, absurd, genius! There are not many humans outside career 'Stand ups ' (like either of the Brands) who can hit the 'I wish I'd said that' mark. Maybe 'Of Herbs and Altars' but he is our age. Whoever these scholastic witches are, sadly AI is waiting in the broom closet, but I think we are safe;)
@@kelly-annmaddoxI got some in Scotland! I couldn’t find peanut butter in the Isle of Skye so I grabbed Biscoff thinking it might be similar hahaha, what a heavenly shock! I like crumpets way better too, I don’t think we have those. Oh and let’s not even talk about brown sauce lol
@teslagoth9401 Omg that is sooo funny because I first tried it at a festival when my friends were passing it around the tent at some ungodly hour and I kept refusing it because I thought it was peanut butter (which I personally despise). After a while they were like, 'mate, it's heavenly biscuit-y stuff, TRY IT.' 😮🤤
I relate so much yo darker characees myself Like i find myself hesvily relating to both Phoebe from charmed snd Willow from buffy the vampire slayer (i will say tho i see alot of myself in Willow haha which is probably why i relate to her so much). For a long time i was drawn towards the darker side of things because of all the trauma i went through in my life (which is kinda ironic because i started out ss a wiccan 🤣 Heck i remember the first soell i ever did was a curse before i even officially began practising witch craft.
Luv intellectual champagne and lava lamp symbology!!! 😂❤😂❤😂❤ I definitely feel u deeply wit intellectual insecurities bout The Craft. I know more cultural and folkloric magick than general info. Then again sometimes I also feel culturally insecure in my own culture and tradition since my childhood and teen yrs were secular. I totally agree. I leave my art supplies out 4 many days sometimes a week or 2 b4 packin it away. In a way u experienced death wit death itself through ur matron. U had 2 put a shroud over her and like death da decay brought a fertile rebirth of ur connection wit her. But in a way u downloadin in2 an evangelical person would be poetic don't u think??? Completin da villain's journey if u will. 😏😏😏🤣🤣🤣 Thnx 4 da chitchat. ❤️❤️❤️
I really appreciated the parts where you talked about your bonds with fictional witches aa a child. I was a big fan of The Worst Witch Book series by Jill Murphy. My mothers maiden name is Murphy so I had this fantasy as a child that I was a distant cousin of the auther. A young Fairuza Balk "The Craft Nancy" plays Mildred the main character in the t.v. movie ps Tim Curry plays the Grand Wizard lol
I definitely needed this video, Kelly-Ann! Goodness! ❤❤Been feeling weirdly untethered with my path, but in like a good way. Lots of overhauling of "shoulds" and really looking at what fizzies me. And I REALLY resonated with the mention of not feeling my witchcraft through the typical orthodox ways of witchcraft. Like, my fizz comes from Morticia Addams and Goblin King Jareth, not the things I see most folks talking about. And it's freeing yet kinda scary to sit with that since it means letting go of the familiar stuff I am use to looking at and embracing something obscure and unknown. But I'm so excited for it too 😆
Watching witches in their early 20's who are so much more articulate and knowledgeable than I am in my 40's is incredibly intimidating! But I feel so proud of them, too, weirdly. Just happy that they have such confidence in who they are and what they are doing. It's inspiring.
I certainly don’t have that issue! 🤷🏼♀️😂 I’m 51 and am a total bibliophile & I read read READ (mostly non-fiction) and study! And obsessed with research. I’m curious why are YOU so…..uninformed? So lacking in that area? You should know A LOT more than someone in their 20s just getting into it. Also how do you even know if these young witches know all this stuff? If you don’t know it, they could be making ir all up! 🙄😂 Nit sure if you’re around a lot of the pagan community BUT I’d say there’s more of Them who just make their knowledge up…soooo many have issues with that…especially when young….
But yea, when young I guess they feel intimidated by the older witches (that’s why I meant YOU should be the one with more knowledge if you’ve been a practicing witch for decades) & feel the need to make up A LOT of total BS. It’s one of the reasons I gave up attempting much connections with most witchcraft or pagan communities.
Also I’m a Germanic/British traditional witch…..so it’s VERY VERY hard to find like minded souls…..it’s too niche 🤷🏼♀️
@@6Haunted-Days Should? Ought to?Why? That's a bit condescending. Who is to say younger people don't have the knowledge and your putdowns are exactly why I don't engage with older Pagans. I am 64 by the way.
Sorry, some older Pagans. Not everyone starts young.
Yes! 50 minutes is what we want. More is more 💖
When I was a child I used to think those dust particles in a ray of sunlight were fairies. I still call it dust fairies and I find magic in watching my children now try to catch the dust fairies as I used to as a child ❤️🧚🏼♀️
I like how you mention and consider your early experiences as a witch as serious and as “firsts”. A lot of stuff I did when I was young was dumb and probably not well executed but it was still valid
Totally valid. It is your origin story. It's the oldest roots of your lived tradition 😍❤️
I have always fallen on the more 'serious' side of the line when it comes to my craft, but I think it can be to a fault occasionally. In fact, your videoos have really shown me the value of lightening up a bit about the craft, not taking things so seriously, having some fun and letting go :)
I so resonate with you. Similar stories and I am 50. I see you as 1 of those younger amazing witches I admire and impressed with 💜
Oh, man, the feeling of self consciousness about my altar! I don't feel insecure so much; I know my own faith and why my practice is the way it is. But as much as I would love to share my altar with other witches (the Discords and Reddits always have those show-and-tell days...), I just can't bring myself to. My choices are so distinct and particular and difficult to explain that I don't think I could bare for any such image to go public, no matter how much I'm dying for a kindred spirit to see and acknowledge it.
Literally like 2 days ago I was talking about a like crises of faith I'm going through, and how much I miss your patreon and how I felt like I belonged there and then you put this up. Thanks patron friends! I look forward to rejoining you at the beginning of July!
Aww darling, you are missed ❤️ So glad this video resonates and we look forward to your return x
* dani badger waddles in and waves at veryn* 🦡🦡 🙋🏻♂️
@@kelly-annmaddox veryn smiles at Dani badger and waves back
I'm going through a particularly rough extended period and I'm definitely going through a crisis of faith. Last time I had a big crisis of faith, I returned to the church, that's definitely not going to happen this time! My best friend died unexpectedly in May, age 40, we met the week after her 19th & my 16th birthday, our birthdays are a day apart. I'm going through hell health wise, 3 emergency department admissions in 4 months. Crisis in housing right now too. I'm so exhausted. I've been on bed rest for a week, not even managing to shower most days, let alone attend anything vaguely looking like a witchcraft practice. I'm fed up, heartbroken and exhausted. I don't even remember the last time I picked up a deck of cards, cardslinging is one of my passions. I feel like I'm running on empty. I honestly don't know how to keep going.
This video is so important to me and I am pausing now to rewatch tomorrow with some pen and paper. I'm too tired from a long day, for so much profoundness. "I was mourning filling comfortable in my unchangeable beliefs, and had a paradigm shift of consciousness." This hits me like a jolly rock right now. 🪨😭
You make me feel seen 💞
It's a good time to be a witch 🧹
Man watching you all these years has been SO fun. Your videos always feel like a facetime call with a friend. Thank you!
I don't think I've ever had a crisis of faith as a witch, more like a bad coven experience that has kind of put me off them. From that experience, I learned that I like my autonomy and pace in my witchy practice . Even though I like to do rituals with others, I prefer it to be as a group of equals rather than the structured hierarchy of a coven.
I always wanted to be the darl Witch too for the same reason. I think I have always had the Pagan leanings but I don't feel I really fit in as I really go for crystals, the aesthetic, etc. I just follow the Equinoxes, garden, snorkel as much as possible and garden, cook and study. Don't know where I fit in really.
Sorry DON'T go for crystals, etc. Fingers too slow for brain!
This video was exactly what I needed exactly when I needed it. There's me going through the hardest time of my life and I'm just like do I even have the energy for this anymore. And you reminded me it's okay to take a break when you need it. When your energy is low or if life calls for your focus to be elsewhere. I always seem to find my way back to your channel when I've gone through a time where I have forgotten to focus on myself and my journey.
Super relatable. To your point in finding witchcraft in non-traditional ways: while I was always interested in 'witchy' things like tarot and learning how my intuition worked I feel like my biggest doorway into witchcraft has been my life's work (which is learning and teaching acting work called Movement Psychology) which is not a typical way in. But I understand witchcraft because of how I've learned to connect into my art. The principles are the same just used slightly differently. Thanks, Kelly-Ann! -Aurora
13:22 whenever I watch a show that I’m really into, I *am* somebody in the show. Their kids are my kids, their love is my love.
Love this x
This was so interesting! I've been nudged to do some inner child work recently. Looks like I should get on with it!
I relate to this whole entire video. I often see how I (an INFP) have a totally different witchcraft style and interests than the xNxJ types of witches on youtube. I like watching all kinds of witches with different personalities, they feed my Ne and inspire me so much. But yeah, the first 15 years of being a witch I felt like I wasn't doing things like I should. Now since I became a mom 2 years ago for some reason I feel sooo confident in the way I live my life, my choice and how I witch, and definitely since I read your book it was like confirmation that I was a valid witch all along my nearly 20 years of being involved in the craft. Much love, your videos make me so happy in this difficult life I live of motherhood with almost no time to myself and almost no time to witch anymore. But I put on your videos with my earphones and I can breathe again.
I was a child of nature, and I always was in touch with the energy that was in the wind or the wood or the sky and animal encounters. It's just the level of existence that I've always been consistently aware. I think the insecurity has to do with living in man-made systems. I rarely liked going to school or church, or functions in general where some kind of expectations were foisted on me (everyone else seemed pretty much okay with it). So not fitting in or trying to reconcile the two kinds of experiences may have caused insecurities. I think being highly sensitive is the common theme of such things.
I've had other insecurities as well. You mention wanting to be like some of the iconic witches in motion pictures and literature. I remember being scared by Darth Vader early in my childhood (again sensitivity coming into play). The black outfit and cape, the rather ancient predatory look of his mask's eyes. The low frequency rumble when he made others suffer with the slightest gesture. It left an impression. So when I felt threatened by others as a kid, or by life in general, I must've thought it would be nice to have the power that Lord Vader had (though I don't think I thought that explicitly, just wanting something to help out in times of anxiety). Also, other villains in stories seemed to have no inhibitions about who they were or what they would plan and do. So I understand the attraction to what is considered dark. To me it is connected to what is considered in Jungian psychology and Witchcraft as the shadows of personality. It's important to understand them and why they are there so that they can be put to good use and not come out uncontrolled at the seams.
Sometimes I think about how irrational it is to think or believe that I am affecting any change by way of energy. Sometimes I think I am just being crazy. But, since life (other people, to be frank) has decided to put me into a virtual witch's cradle, it is all I have and it is a comfort when things do seem to turn in my favor.
So to sum up: I don't fit in; I question myself and motives when I am being boxed in prevented to live freely, and is the mysticism even real? That's where I've gotten unsteady.
It's funny because I am the least hedonistic person alive so my insecurity is watching your videos and feeling like I'm not witchy enough because instead of tapping into my inner wild woman I'm happiest holed up alone with my books or taking a stroll in the woods. We're also the reverse in that I'm a Virgo sun with a Sag moon but I also have a Virgo stellium so that Sag is just enough to keep me from being the most uptight person alive 😂
Hahah I fucking love this comment so much darling ❤
Thank you so much for sharing this and ahahahaha! The Dave Grohl Sacred Heart Jesus candle in the back! Luv it!
Yes Maleficent! Especially her ability to turn into a dragon!
Wouldn't a crystal ball with witches hands on it like in wizard of oz make a cool tattoo?
25:44 in my world… everything is witchcraft ❤
As serious and important as these discussions are, I need to comment that I love your thumbnail style! It's really fun! :) x
i am amazed by you articulating the intimate unique experiences that i did not previously even realize i always had. i can now recall the heart-wrenching insecurity i felt looking at the witchy characters i admired, the fictional fantastical adult characters!! wow you’ve unpeeled a layer for me
Ya know I’ve loved you for like 10 yrs and didn’t know we shared an undying love and obsession with the Wicked Witch of the West!! Omg! I’m 51 and every year I LIVED FOR MARCH….that’s when they’d show the Wizard of Oz every year…..before VHS….we couldn’t watch just cuz….made it even more special! Like you…..I worshipped her….LOVE LOVE LOVED her! Everything about her…..the hands, yes! Her hat and gown….her cackle….sigh.
I just can’t believe you love her like I do! When the book Wicked came out in 1995….I got it the very day ….OMFG THAT COVER! I have that tattoo on my left arm….😂💀 but yea…still have my 1st edition SIGNED by Gregory Maguire too (and he was VERY excited to see my old 1st edition he didn’t even own anymore 😂)….I could go on and on and on.
O! I also too was obsessed with all the Disney witches …..maleficent & th evil queen she’s my fave one…..since I can recall…the word WITCH sends shivers down me….
I’m a Germanic/British traditional witch….28YRS now….tho truly….I’ve been of witch blood since birth (yes I adore Nigel Jackson, even tho he defected Back to xtianity…why do so many of the greats do that GAH)
And wanted to add….being a witch in the late 80s and early 90s in a small city in the Midwest….Wicca was all I found and I kinda loved it at first…but it didn’t HIT right.l.long story short….found traditional witchcraft in 95….and I found HOME….it was my soul….darkness is where I always resided….Wicca was just …much MUCH too light for me….such a huge focus on the Goddess, I got the why, but it felt so unbalanced….there were dozens of things but the biggest was the fact it was manmade concoction mix of bunch of stuff and REALLY new. And that’s fine for whatever souls are drawn to that…..for me….I felt so untethered….don’t know why lm even adding this 😂
I am grateful that you mentioned how you were apprehensive about working with Hel while being a pantheist and into chaos magick...I am having a similar issue trying to work with Aphrodite and I booked a session with you for later this month. :)
A wind in the door by Madeline lengle, a whole book about the name maddox
Omigosh you're so beautiful in this video, hope that's ok to say.
This subject is so well timed. So very grateful for you 🙏
My biggest insecurity of late is around my intuition and visions. Sometimes things seem so clear and true...but after the fact I might wonder if I'm losing my mind.
I'm so behind on your videos. I took like a year hiatus from my witchy you tube, so good to see you
Hey there, Alan Watts wrote a book titled " the wisdom of insecurity" ... It gave me a feeling of wellbeing and peace of mind about not knowing what the hell was going on! Zen-ish
I feel play and silly is very magic and I feel that’s is what my magic is missing. When I was a kid I always wanted to be on this path. I get so much joy knowing I’m doing what little me wanted. But I’m sad little me couldn’t be a witch (strict upbringing) so I wonder what would little me do if she had access to all these tools and knowledge? Never thought about doing inner child work to connect that.
Thank you so much for sharing your insecurities and crisis.
Have you seen Return to Oz? Princess Mombi is everything to me!
LOVE Return to Oz! 😋🥰
I love The Craft movie too and I have the DVD- Yes Nancy is fascinating but a great lesson how her ego and power trip contributed to how she ended up.
Sameee
I also found myself relating to Phoebe in charmed and later on willow (when I finally watched Buffy the vampire slayer lmao)
I see so much of willow in myself haha
The hand gesture @27:35 is very David Byrne lol
Wish I could heart this video a million times! The bit about being fascinated by the Evil Queens et al really resonated. It was like an innate cautious curiosity, I needed to know everything about them at the same time as them being alluringly dangerous.
Also really appreciate you making room for lost times to mental health. I've had mental health challenges since childhood and have learnt to accept I'm on a different timescale sometimes and that's ok.
Thank you for sharing your story. It really helps to see how you related to villains and how you’ve explained it makes so much sense. I’m not in that camp and haven’t really understood it before but was always curious how or why people loved the villains. Now I get it. Thank you. I appreciate how you share and are vulnerable to share yourself, your work, and your healing process. I’m typically very private about my own deep personal healing work but I see how valuable it is to share it so others can also feel more comfortable to share and normalize weird and often hard shit. Keep up the honest and beautiful explorations and sharing that is you hun.
You're such an absolutely amazing person and witch. You're incredibly inspiring and you have helped me more in my craft and on my path than anyone and anything else. Thank you for your words and the power behind them. Thank you for all you do for this community. ❤
You can invoke the ten commandments as a banishing
the fractals of these energies are so grippingly interesting, the way you feel about Ahslynn is the same way lots feel about you, like oh i dont think i could be that serious or put together feeling...
i noticed some of my students or followers have seen me through heart shaped eyeglasses as well and i have to bring some people into sharp reality heehee
this is my first notif i received from you in months, so i can now catch up
Lovvvve “Maddox Machine”
Pause is necessary for growth to occur. Deep connection once achieved doesn't need full- on frequent practice to maintain it, acknowledgement of the connection in a low maintenance way is often the best. Its then that opportunities of new direction tend to occur, good chat though and looking forward to the new book.
I'm stoked you're on this planet st the same time as I am, ita a blessing 🙏
Keep on keeping on you bright little fricken sunshine!
I would love to be confident to offer services like you do, I'm so private in my practice though, like just doing witchy things that I don't even thinking about. I really do need to connect with you for a session
Thank you so much for this video and for being so honest 🥰 I've been struggling with pretty most of the same insecurities and overanalyzing my more stagnant times. Honestly, since halfway through 2020 until present day, I've never been more tired, physically, mentally, spiritually 🤦🏻♀️ I try to remind myself that my path is more about how I show up for the world because of who I am (witch) rather than doing all of the things. I've written your quote down, "What the Ego wants is not always what the Spirit needs" 🙏🏻 I need to remember that. Go with the mf-ing Flow ❤
Your videos are very helpful and I love being called a "poptart" lol.
4:14 Not Maleficent!! 😂😂 when I was little I was so afraid of telling people that she was the real reason I loved the movie lolll maybe I was just practicing being "silent" 😈🤭
Thank you for being so vulnerable with us. When I lost my partner a few years ago, a book that really helped me was "The Wild Edge of Sorrow". SUCH a great read, and helped me avoid a crisis of faith back then. More recently I have learned that I am autistic, and this new discovery validates all the struggles I've had throughout my life while also (potentially) invalidating my relationship with the Divine. It's similar to your struggles with belief. How much can I rely on my own perception of reality? Do I throw out this huge chunk of who I am simply because my brain is wired to notice synchronicites or "signs"? Does it matter? I'm kind of coming to the conclusion that it doesn't matter to me, and many things can be true at once. I can be autistic, and deeply intutive. I can have a rich relationship with the Divine and be completely grounded in the here and now.
Thank you, once again. You've always been a beam of sunshine cutting through the fog 🌈✨
Kelly-Ann you are amazing. Thank you! 💜✨
Thank you Kelly-Ann ❤
We have very much similar paths!
Loved this topic and your vulnerability. I am quite new to this path. Just 2 years in and I'm in my 50's. I was a cradle Catholic and have been a non practicing Catholic for about 10 years. I still do not have the confidence to call myself a witch. I am a wanna be. That is my insecurity. I am a researcher and student at heart and so I have read every thing I can get my hands on. I have so many tools and supplies, but I have yet to do one ritual . I have been a participant at a few, but I am afraid to begin on my own. Only my immediate family is aware of my current path. What advice do you have on overcoming imposter syndrome?
Sincere thanks for discussing how we sometimes are prevented from engaging with aspects of our magick because of grief. Loss has made it necessary to put distance between myself and some elements of the craft that were once vital to my practice (and hopefully will be again) Thank you for giving me hope that I'll be able to come back around to it. Merry Midsummer! You are such a gift to a solitary witch! 💜
Hey I just wanted to let you know I just bought your book in print at Barnes and Noble in Denver. It's so cool to see the pictures and listen to the audio book while I read the book along with you! I'm so stoked to create my own craft. My principles are coming together and I can't wait to fine tune them. So far I am using the Kybalion, some 12 step recovery stuff, some TST stuff, tarot, and metaphysical stuff. Astral travel , sound healing, native american Ute spirituality, and getting more into nature are some of my goals! Love you poptart
Thank you for sharing all this. Have you read «Practical magic» by Alice Hoffman? My favourite witchy story told in magical realism. Highly recommend. I will not get into a rant about the book versus the movie, although I do love Nicole Kidmans Gillian.
49 mins of gold. Thank you for acknowledging how important representation is.
Love you, babes! Your outlook is such a tonic, it lifts me up every time I watch you xx
WTF is a 'serious' witch anyway? Being organised and regimented in your practice has it's merits, but It seems to me the ones who consider themselves to be 'serious' are (often) the ones who go around trying to tell everyone else how they should and shouldn't be doing things. fuck 'em!
Being authentically and awesomely you is the real key to good practice. If you get your magical fizziness by guerrilla gardening in you local council flower beds, scrumping some cemetery dirt from Mrs Groggins grave (and leaving her a little crocheted tea cosy to say thanks) or getting naked under the full moon - that's the right way to do it!
It feels like I’ve been in a crisis of faith since I first found witchcraft at 13… I’m 32 now.
I find it so interesting, the ‘serious’ witchcraft bit, because I view you as one of the most ‘serious’ witches I’ve come across, and it has less to do with rigidity and more to do with perspective. From my pov, you see witchcraft and the spiritual in almost everything, and to me, that’s some serious business!
It’s huge that you can recognize the source of your fear re: waning in your practice and being a public figure! (Sorry, I’m tired and in a lot of pain rn, or I’d have a deeper comment about this. But it’s soothing to me in a way idk how to put into words) ❤
I don't follow enough pre Saturn return witches, but one reason I adore your content is your brain. An intellectual Narnia, whimsical, fervent, absurd, genius! There are not many humans outside career 'Stand ups ' (like either of the Brands) who can hit the 'I wish I'd said that' mark. Maybe 'Of Herbs and Altars' but he is our age. Whoever these scholastic witches are, sadly AI is waiting in the broom closet, but I think we are safe;)
Tea spice! I don’t think the US has it. Time to move house! the UK has better chocolate, tea, fish & chips and that crazy Biscoff cookie spread 😪
Wait, you're NOT getting the biscoff cookie spread?! 😑 Why is there always bad shit happening in the world? 🤣
@@kelly-annmaddoxI got some in Scotland! I couldn’t find peanut butter in the Isle of Skye so I grabbed Biscoff thinking it might be similar hahaha, what a heavenly shock! I like crumpets way better too, I don’t think we have those. Oh and let’s not even talk about brown sauce lol
@teslagoth9401 Omg that is sooo funny because I first tried it at a festival when my friends were passing it around the tent at some ungodly hour and I kept refusing it because I thought it was peanut butter (which I personally despise). After a while they were like, 'mate, it's heavenly biscuit-y stuff, TRY IT.' 😮🤤
@@kelly-annmaddoxheavenly biscuit-y stuff 😂 that is hilarious
I've gotten the Biscoff cookie spread at Publix and maybe Whole Foods.
I relate so much yo darker characees myself
Like i find myself hesvily relating to both Phoebe from charmed snd Willow from buffy the vampire slayer (i will say tho i see alot of myself in Willow haha which is probably why i relate to her so much).
For a long time i was drawn towards the darker side of things because of all the trauma i went through in my life (which is kinda ironic because i started out ss a wiccan 🤣
Heck i remember the first soell i ever did was a curse before i even officially began practising witch craft.
Luv intellectual champagne and lava lamp symbology!!! 😂❤😂❤😂❤ I definitely feel u deeply wit intellectual insecurities bout The Craft. I know more cultural and folkloric magick than general info. Then again sometimes I also feel culturally insecure in my own culture and tradition since my childhood and teen yrs were secular. I totally agree. I leave my art supplies out 4 many days sometimes a week or 2 b4 packin it away. In a way u experienced death wit death itself through ur matron. U had 2 put a shroud over her and like death da decay brought a fertile rebirth of ur connection wit her. But in a way u downloadin in2 an evangelical person would be poetic don't u think??? Completin da villain's journey if u will. 😏😏😏🤣🤣🤣 Thnx 4 da chitchat. ❤️❤️❤️
Love your honesty, all of this was gold. Minute 21...oh yes. Us Oldies but Goldies!
I loved Madame Mim in sword and the stone and bellatrix lestrange 😈
I really appreciated the parts where you talked about your bonds with fictional witches aa a child. I was a big fan of The Worst Witch Book series by Jill Murphy. My mothers maiden name is Murphy so I had this fantasy as a child that I was a distant cousin of the auther. A young Fairuza Balk "The Craft Nancy" plays Mildred the main character in the t.v. movie ps Tim Curry plays the Grand Wizard lol
Very cool. I 'accidentally kept" those worst witch books from the school library. Theres probably a 200k fine for that now!
your life is very similar to mine for sure
I definitely needed this video, Kelly-Ann! Goodness! ❤❤Been feeling weirdly untethered with my path, but in like a good way. Lots of overhauling of "shoulds" and really looking at what fizzies me. And I REALLY resonated with the mention of not feeling my witchcraft through the typical orthodox ways of witchcraft. Like, my fizz comes from Morticia Addams and Goblin King Jareth, not the things I see most folks talking about. And it's freeing yet kinda scary to sit with that since it means letting go of the familiar stuff I am use to looking at and embracing something obscure and unknown. But I'm so excited for it too 😆
I never met an Earl Grey I didn’t like. ☕️
Is….is that a Dave Grohl votive candle…??
💙 💙 💙 💙 💙
the more I read about witchcraft, the less I understand what a witch is. maybe that is an insecurity of mine?
witchcraft can look like many different things, depending on who's describing it 😊
if i am alive when you energy is set free, you can def inhabit me!!
you should look at your Instagram message, do i have a story for you!!