my entire life ive felt im like 'watching over' normal people. I can see everyone living normal lives and behaving normally but that was something i can never have or had. yknow how sometimes you can only admire what others have from afar because it wasnt meant for you. idk how to explain but i feel im just watching a movie im not involved in
this is something i wanted to talk about in future journal entries as well: being an observer. the looking from afar and the negative feelings associated with it. even when you are in the picture, it still feels like you’re almost still performing for others 😞
I feel like one of those random characters in movies who doesn't speak, that just in line at the supermarket, hahaha, it has no relevance to the story 😂
I get depressed when I see everyone having the best time with their friends and I'm just staying here doing nothing. Everyday I wake up and I don't even have a message. Its just horrible.
This is me. Sometimes I can feel myself getting jealous of other siblings for having the social circle+life I want, it makes me feel as if I got dealt a bad hand in life. Soon I’ll be starting school so, hoping that’ll bring some change.
Its weird how so many of us exist but can never find eachother yk? Like theres so many lonely people that have common interests yet it always feels like literally everyone else has that super social normal life style? Idk maybe its just me, hurts to see others online talking about feeling left out bc all i wanna do is sit with them and let them know they can be themselves and still be appreciated by the right people, social status means nothing.
I once joined an "introverts group" on meetup and... it was really awful. They held the meeting at a noisy bar. Nobody knew anybody so it was awkward, and it was a crossover event with a larger social group so that group just sort of did their own thing while the rest of us watched. Like Via's story about going to a party and standing around awkwardly, except it was half of the people there. The music was so loud that we couldn't even do small talk.
I realised that we're almost always present but we've gotten too good at hiding. When I'm in an isle shopping for something, I'll leave or make myself near invisible so that I don't inconvenience anyone. It was only the other day that I realised the reason I dont see others like myself is that we all know how to blend in and will likely avoid each other without knowing. Most of my hobbies are independent, so when I do hang out with people sat around talking, I have nothing in common with them and nothing to add. It's like being ghosted in person which I acknowledge is my own fault for not just joining in but most of the time, I just dont agree with them.
Having a friend group but still feeling like you don't belong is so exhausting, it feels like being stuck with some people just to not feel lonely. Hey, this is me 4 months later...It does get better, I started Uni with a whole different mindset from highschool, If you search you find. Feeling lonely is soo normal, but there's always people that are actually worth it. Fist step: Change your mindset so you can actually see yourself and other people from a new perspective.
Honestly, as I’m getting older now, I’m realising more and more that it’s better to be alone than to be with people who you have nothing in common with and who don't care about you
I completely understand how you're feeling. It can be difficult to feel like you're part of a friend group but not really connecting with anyone on a deeper level. It's okay to feel this way and it's important to remember that not all friendships are meant to be lifelong. Perhaps it's time to evaluate whether these friendships are healthy and fulfilling for you. You might also want to try expanding your social circle and meeting new people who share your interests and values. Joining a club or community related to your hobbies or passions can be a great way to connect with like-minded people. Also, remember that it's okay to be alone sometimes. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness. Don't be afraid to take some time for yourself, pursue your own interests, and focus on self-care.
In university I also sat alone during lunch for quite a long while... Now almost 5 years later I am such a strong person and go to concerts or movie theaters alone and I am happy - because I can ❤
omg i am so happy for you for what you have become. i am still in my fresher's years and my situation is kind of same, even though i am stuck with a group of people or so called friend group but i already know i dont fit in. however i also aspire to become strong just like you. also heartily congratulation for surviving through this i am sooo proud of youuu!!! take love
@@hikigayahaachiman thank you so much for your lovely words! School / University is a difficult and weird time for everyone I guess. So I wish you all the best, hope you survive the madness (hahah) and become a happy & strong person!
It's great to hear that you've been able to grow and become more comfortable with spending time alone. Learning to enjoy your own company can be a valuable skill that can lead to greater independence, self-awareness, and self-confidence. Going to concerts or movie theaters alone may seem intimidating at first, but it can also be empowering and liberating. You get to choose how you spend your time and don't have to worry about pleasing anyone else. It's a great opportunity to focus on your own interests and passions, and to connect with others who share those interests. Remember, being alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely. Finding ways to cultivate a sense of joy and fulfillment in your own company can help you feel more confident and content, whether you're alone or with others.
All of what you said is exactly how I've been feeling pretty much my whole life, especially as I'm still in school. Usually when we're lonely, we blame ourselves: "What I've done wrong?", "Am I really that unlikeable?", "Youth isn't as fun as everyone tells, I'm wasting these years". Well, I try to convince myself being alone is better in some ways: I'm independent, I get to know myself better, discover new hobbies and focus on studies. But still, sometimes I just can't hold back sadness when I see other people having so much fun with friends and having another person to share feelings with, while I have no one but myslef really 😕
idk how to describe it, but this video and this comment section feel like a safe and comforting space. the vibes are just so chill here, and i dont feel lonely :)
I too feel lonely..and left out..i barely have social life and i feel like-is it because of how i am..I feel jealous watching people having the best time of their lifes while i am here stuck in this bubble and this cycle that I can't seem to get out of..I miss my old cheery extrovert bubbly self a lot
I'm glad to hear that you feel safe and comforted by this space. It's important to have spaces where we feel like we can be ourselves and connect with others in a positive and supportive environment. The internet can be a great place to find communities of people who share similar experiences or interests, and who can offer emotional support and encouragement. Remember, seeking connection and support when we're feeling down or lonely is a sign of strength, not weakness. Keep reaching out and connecting with others who make you feel positive and supported.
I don’t have a friend group. I literally only have 3 people that I talk to. But I feel like they’re their own friend group. And that im just there. I really want to fit in with them.
hope things are going well with you and that you’ve made progress on seeing where exactly you fit in to this friendship group. just remember it shouldn’t have to feel like you have to make an anxious effort to not be excluded. your true people (and this circle will beautifully grow with LOTS time and patience) will have you never questioning your worth or place.
That's an interesting perspective and a reminder of how intricate our bodies are. It's true that our bodies are made up of trillions of cells, each with their own unique functions and roles, all working together to keep us alive and healthy. While this is a fascinating biological fact, it's also important to remember that our emotional well-being matters as much as our physical health. Feeling lonely or disconnected from others can have negative impacts on our mental and emotional health. So while it's comforting to know that we have a whole ecosystem of cells inside our bodies, it's equally important to prioritize building connections and relationships with others to nourish our emotional well-being. Remember, seeking connection and support from others is a sign of strength and can lead to positive outcomes for our mental health.
so true... because of how introverted i can be i feel like i just come across as a boring person to other people. i can't speak to people very well, not because im shy but i just can't move a conversation forward and then the relationship never progresses. and whilst most of the time i dont mind being by myself, and enjoy my own company, sometimes i wish i made a new friend or two after starting college to make it a bit more bearable. everyone is walking around in big groups and most of the time im by myself. even if i have friends they have their own friend group that i just cant see myself becoming a part of ever, and i start thinking that they'd rather be hanging out with them instead of me because im not as much fun. im happy most of the time tho, just those odd times you start thinking too much 😌
this exactly. it’s so sad how we feel like we are “boring” when we can’t speak to people as well as others. and yes i also feel this sort of envy with healthy friend groups, wishing that i had something like that. having friends will make things more bearable in life. but only quality friends tho. we just need to be patient with ourselves. if we stay true to ourselves, the right people will come ♥️♥️♥️ sending you so much love and tysm for sharing this
I don't have a lot of friends( i had but they are not quality people). didn't get a girl to share my feelings even i shared to someone but they don't really care though that's why I thought everytime what is wrong happened to me?Am i not good enough to get some love?
Omggg this is so me in college and over all!! I totally get youu sometimes we do need friends in life to make it more fun!!!! I carve for people somewhere but most of the time I'm okay by myself it's just some days where I feel super lonely and sad:/
yep, I feel the same way, no friends in uni, introverted and also being neurodivergent all contribute to feeling like the wallflower, but it’s so crazy how many of us feel the same way and how we haven’t met each other :( just sucks that the best people are alone
After watching this video , i highly suggest starting a podcast because even though the things you talk about are so relatable for so many people but also because your voice is so comforting , you are becoming my comfort person to watch and listen to😭🤍
aweee stoppp this is so nice of you to say😭🤚maybe someday i’ll start a podcast! but as for now, i do wanna post more here on youtube 🫶🫶🫶but thank u for telling me this ily
growing up as an autistic girl i feel like such an alien. always having to put myself through a filter and trying my hardest to be a certain way to make other people comfortable, but even when i put so much effort into masking every day of my life i feel like i’ll never be able to fit in properly with my peers. i feel like i’m missing something everyone else has, something that comes really easy to them but i can’t mimic properly no matter how badly i wish i could. being neurodivergent is so isolating for this, and i’m scared i’m gonna feel this kind of loneliness and separation my whole life. i know it sounds cliche, but i just want to be really, really normal.
As a person with social anxiety and adhd this resonates so much with my own life! I'm so sorry you feel this way. Specially the part about "missing something that everyone else has". Every day feels like putting on a performance that you're never completely satisfied with. I dearly hope that one day you will meet the people that truly value you for who you are ♥️
I started entertaining that I was on spectrum last year. I also know though I’m “different”, I also hold aspects\views that I wish humanity held. There’s something unique about us that makes not fitting in worth it at times. It’s lonely at times, but I learned to love my attributes and see my strengths and advantages.
This is so real. I feel like when people say stuff like ‘don’t be normal, be yourself ect..” they dont get how bad it is. Like i don’t want to be myself, i just want to be normal.
I feel you, but just know there's plenty of neurodivergent folks out there. For me and my friend group, being neurodivergent is normal, this is our normal. You don't have to mimic the others, spend that energy looking for your own people. I honestly think neurotypicals are boring (no offense), they lack the spark I see in other neurodivergents, they behave very similarly and are pretty much all the same. Neurodivergent people come in so many types, I've never met 2 similar neurodivergent people. If I had the choice to be born normal, I wouldn't choose it no matter what. Being neurodivergent is lonely, but it's also awesome, it's great to see life so differently and fully explore stuff, to have such passion. Have you ever met a neurotypical who could speak for hours and hours (literally) about an interest? Neither have I. Don't focus on being lonely and neurodivergent, just focus on finding people like you. usually around 2 in 10 people are neurodivergent (if not more) so it's impossible you don't find some friends.
I feel like that too, sometimes when i think about it, i think that i am failure and the only thing i could do is just wait for something to kill me, like erasing a draft
I’m sooo sad when I see others having fun w their friends, when I try to fit in they just don’t care about my words like there’s a shield between us, and that makes me feel worse than watching others having fun. I’m so confused and always can’t figure out why.(i don’t think i can’t socialize with people, but i think they just kind of childish and mean sometimes.）
I'm glad that my words were able to resonate with you and help you put your feelings into words. Sometimes it can be difficult to articulate our emotions, and it's important to remember that you're not alone in how you feel. It's okay to seek help and support from others, whether that's through talking to a therapist, reaching out to friends and family members, or joining support groups or communities where you can connect with others who share similar experiences. Remember, your emotions and experiences are valid and there are people who want to support you on your journey towards healing and growth.
I'm really sorry to hear that you've been feeling so alone, but I'm glad that my video and comments have made you realize that you're not alone in your experiences. Remember that there are people out there who understand and empathize with what you're going through. You are never alone in this journey, and there is support available to you.
It's great to find someone who can relate to and validate our own experiences. Feeling understood and heard can be very powerful, and it can be especially helpful when we're going through difficult times. It's important to have people in our lives who we can turn to for support and validation, whether that's a close friend, family member, therapist, or someone else. It's also helpful to find resources and communities, such as online spaces, where we can connect with others who have shared experiences. Remember, you're not alone in your experiences, and there are people out there who understand and care. Keep reaching out and connecting with others who uplift and support you.
i also think people romanticize being like awkward and having social anxiety. not so fun when u lose opportunities because of it... and i felt this so much. even with my closest friends (i've known them for 12 yrs) i can't be fully open. I literally have a group chat where i send vocal messages to myself lmao.
Just 16 seconds of the video and I am crying “the need to constantly wanting to fit in,but at the same time you just don’t fit in,bc I felt like I don’t belong I feel like I shouldn’t stand out“ this is literally how I’ve felt this last two years of high school and until now I am facing the fact that that’s what I’ve been feeling all this time,I knew I didn’t fit in but I just couldn’t put it into words I just had the feeling but couldn’t even explica it to myself THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤
I remember bringing a book to a HANGOUT I was invited to for the sole reason of using it whenever I felt left out again. I was invited. To a hangout. And they didn't even give the effort to make me feel like I belong. They realized it later but still didn't really make an effort. So yeah, reading a book to not feel like a loser IS real.
Damn, being lonely is a struggle sometimes- I sat reading books at a lunch table for 4 years because.. All the “friends “ that I made last year and the year after never made the effort to talk to me ever again after those years… I’ve felt like a nuisance ever since they just simply forgot about me
@@tiniduck2182i had the exact same experience 😭i would always bring a book or deck of cards to play at parties/hangouts so i wouldn't "get in the way" and nobody even made an effort.
this is one of the times i love the internet because im able to find people like me, people who have the same experiences and thoughts as me when in real life it feels so isolating
I can confirm that when you grow up with this trauma, as an adult, it really handicaps you in the “real world.” We need more awareness of this, and we need people to stop feeling bad about being this way. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! You are your own unique being, and I wouldn’t change anything about you. Leave the trauma behind - of eating school lunches by yourself, of constantly comparing yourself to other people in your high school friend group - it does not define you (probably has only made you more beautiful on the inside, because you’ve learned how to have compassion for people who are struggling). Bring what you were into what you are now, and just shine like the beautiful you.
Here i am again sharing my trauma lol, i was bullied when i was in school and i was always alone. I used to have a big friend group when i was really young but that friend group started making fun of me from elementary school to hs etc. I never felt i truly belonged and i actually started copying their mannerisms and they way they existed just to fit in. I always wanted a best friend or a shoulder to cry on, but i didn't find it yet. I am not talking about family, but friends. Now in college i have like 2 friends? And they told me that i am very unapproachable, they way that sit, stare and everything. At first i got sad because i really wanted to look fun and bubbly and i tried too hard to do so that my social battery started slipping through my hands and i was exhausted and sad and angry. I just came to the conclusion that idc if i look unapproachable, if someone wants to talk to me they can, even more if they know me. I feel like an alien and i always watch people having fun, talking yk chit chatting and i trully don't know how to do it. I always try to be more of everything which leads to just creating a fake personality of mine, that's why i feel like an imposter, because I don't know if they would like the real me and not the one i was always presenting. I'm trying to be myself and the closer i come to my true colours the more comfortable i feel with my own company. I don't say I don't want friends or anything but at this moment i want to be with me and find people who treat me kindly and with love, not people who just tolerate me and they show it . Via, you are so sweet and your videos make me feel better and i am happy seeing you gaining confidence and sharing your life with us 🩷✨🫶
i am so sorry to hear what you’ve been thru love. i truly get what you mean. as a kid, we just wanted to fit in. to do so we often change ourselves and sometimes turn into people pleasers. but that aspect leads us to not even know who we are anymore. it’s exhausting. but i am so happy to hear that you are learning to just accept yourself. because at the end of the day, that is the most important thing. ilysm and thank you so much for being here and sharing your thoughts. sending you a hug ♥️🫶🥹
As a middle schooler who rlly doesn’t have any friends, this video rlly made me happy. It gives us unpopular kids hope that we can become cool like u :)
Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad that my video brought you happiness and hope. Remember, "coolness" is subjective, and what's most important is being true to yourself and finding people who appreciate you for who you are. Keep being kind, confident, and pursuing your interests, and you'll find your own unique path to happiness and friendship.
I didn’t know that there are other people like me, all of this has always been so hard to put in to words. How I always feel like, nothing that the normal people do is meant for me. All I can do is watch the ”normal” ppl do things I’ve always dreamed of and just wish that I could someday experience all that. Like normal life, hanging with friends, dating, none of that belongs to me. I just can’t have any of that. I now finally have friends, but they never see me, and they do things with each other that I wish I could do. But they never invite me. My dreams are so small and yet I still can’t have any of them come true. I’m tired of watching other ppl do things I wanna do and just admiring others. I’m trying so hard to belong, and well still today I was alone at the lunchbreak as usual.
relatable, its crazy how hard it is to be just "normal", and i also always wondering "when" did i gonna achieve that kind of normal life as my faith getting decreased of how things still same/stuck on my life
I can understand how frustrating and disheartening it can be to feel like you don't fit into what society considers "normal." It's not easy to watch others do things you wish you could do and feel like you're missing out. Remember that your dreams and desires are valid, no matter how big or small they may seem to others. Keep trying to find your place and pursue the things that bring you joy and fulfillment. It may take time, but with resilience and self-belief, you can create a life that feels meaningful and true to you. Don't give up on yourself, and keep searching for a sense of belonging. You deserve to find happiness and connections that are truly fulfilling.
Have been going through this since I was 16, it's terrible and isolating. My last year of high school was horrible, loneliness took a huge toll onto me that I isolated myself and talked few words a day, never had any friend groups in my class and felt out of place at times, couldn't even come up to someone due to my social anxiety. I'm currently in university and oh boy it's even far worse, it's utterly isolating and lonely, even more difficult to find someone to talk to, I'm one year in and have barely talked to anyone and haven't made a single friend. I don't know how to work in groups anymore and too scared to even reply to messages to the point I wait for hours to find the courage to reply. I feel like I am wasting my youth away, when I was told that it will be fun years of my life, which was a big lie. I wish there was more groups and communities to join and find somebody, but those are unfortunately are very scarce. It's comforting to see that I'm not the only one going through this...
I hope things get better for u same for me i couldn’t find anyone in rl but online there are people don’t let that stop I just searched up things i like and found that other people liked them and joined communities that they had like on tiktok you will find them months, months agooo i found a horror community and I couldn’t be more happy to find people i have things i can talk about with I couldn’t do that in rl so don’t let that stop u
I'm really sorry to hear about the difficulties you've been facing. Loneliness can be incredibly tough, and it's understandable that it has taken a toll on you. Remember that you're not alone in this, and there are people who understand and empathize with what you're going through.
I wish I had a friend like you. I'm also an introvert and it has been really hard for me to fit in anywhere. It feels like I'm annoying people. They never come talk to me. But I've realized that maybe having 1 real friend is so much better than having an actual friend group.
. Remember that it's not about the quantity of friends, but the quality of the connections you have. Having one true friend who accepts and understands you can be incredibly meaningful and fulfilling. It's about finding someone who appreciates you for who you are, even if that means being more introverted. Don't worry about trying to fit into a friend group; focus on nurturing the relationships that bring you genuine happiness and support. You deserve to have a friend who values and appreciates you just as you are.
I have never resonated with a video more than this one, in the past couple of years especially I've never felt so lonely. I'm someone that connects with others better one on one, groups have never really worked out for me - I'm usually left out of the loop & just can't seem to click in group situations, I always end up keeping to myself. It's just so mentally & emotionally draining to even just have a light convo with someone & need days alone to recharge my social battery. I'm still trying my best to be comfortable in my own company, of course its hard but it gets better :)
Hey Via, this is a long post so bear with me. I went through a very similar situation as you did in terms of isolation, etc... I'm 23, I was very isolated my whole life despite being a mix of introvert and extrovert. I had some "friends" here and there but no one really stuck around. A considerable amount of time was spent where I was questioning my self worth - wondering if I was fundamentally "different" than everyone else which did manifest itself into anger later on. Lots of walking around alone, feeling lost, wanting to join with others, comparing myself to people on social media (I'm guilty of this). Basically I understand you 100%. There's nothing wrong with us. What it is, is that we were pushed into isolation - and that isolation manifested itself into our growth. The only way to fix that, like you said is to be yourself and just keep meeting with people. That's it. Hope you found this helpful 🙏
Thank you for sharing your experience. It's unfortunate that you have also faced isolation and questioning of self-worth. It's important to remember that there is nothing inherently wrong with us, and that our experiences of isolation have shaped us into who we are today. Being true to ourselves and continuing to connect with others is indeed a way to overcome these challenges. Your perspective is helpful and serves as a reminder that we are not alone in our struggles. Keep staying true to yourself and seeking connections that bring positivity and fulfillment to your life. Remember, you are deserving of love, acceptance, and belonging.
This is my first comment ever on youtube, with my other comments on internet maybe 3. So its a huge step for me Knowing that there are a lot of people feeling the same way made me feel less alone. Thank you so much you all (sry for my english)
I loved this video because I resonated so well with it. I’m a quiet, shy, introverted black kid from Boston but went to school in a predominantly white town on the south shore. All my life I felt like “the outcast”. I never really had the hottest things, kept up with trends, or had a solid friend group. Now that I’m in college, the pressure of trying to fit isn’t as present but sometimes it still lingers. It’s weird because I don’t like being lonely and think it would be nice just to have friends I can call or hang out with but at the same time, I love my solitude and I realize being alone is okay. Social media really encourages that pressure of loneliness and trying to fit in. I found that cutting it out helps especially with self improvement.
I've seen so many influencers who can get to make me feel smtg but they're relatable at certain points of my life, not like truly relatable, and it feels so comforting to finally find someone who's authentically relatable to me🌹🐺 [im trying so hard not to cry rn]
I'm really glad to hear that you find me authentically relatable. It's important to have someone who understands your experiences and can provide comfort and support. Remember, you're not alone, and there are people out there who can relate to what you're going through. It's okay to seek that connection and find comfort in knowing that others are going through similar situations. Stay strong and keep being true to yourself.
In my experience it comes down to if you like who you are as a person, if you do like who you are having no friends isn't as bad as society paints it out to be, it's better to keep your own company than to be in circles who are a toxic and abusive, self respect is more important than having fake people in your life, and the people in your life, how they treat you, shows and tells people whatyou tolerate,what you accept, and how you see yourself. If you're friends with losers who hurt you, you have low confidence, if you would rather be by yourself because of shit people, you have pride in yourself
I'm listening to the preview on loop crying because I feel just like that . I used to be alone having no friends ,and I really struggled In finding a group of people where I didn't feel out of place. Even now I often feel like I have to act in a certain way, or my friends won't want me
@@jake9854 majority of the people relating to this including the person in the video are only "lonely" bc are unattractive and are too lazy to change it
Sometimes I fear that I’m not teenaging correctly. I’m turning 17 in October and all I do is study, go to the gym, draw, game and bike. People my age/from my school are hanging out and stuff.. sometimes I really envy them but this video really reassured me that this is not just a me thing, thank you!!
Same. I'm turning 17 in July and I'm highkey friendless so I just entertain myself within the realm of my room as best as I can, if I get bored of everything I just go for a walk to listen to podcasts/audiobooks/music. I was friendless ever since I was 13 I think, but only recently did this loneliness thing struck me to the bone because of TH-cam recommending me videos on the topic of loneliness/social awkwardness and such. Dunno how I'll survive the rest of the summer
your videos are always posted at the right time for me. i’m a junior in college and i just finished an interview for an internship that i feel went horrible . i immediately wanted someone to talk to abt it but i only have two friends and i knew they were probably busy with classes. it really hit me how i rlly don’t have many ppl to turn to and talk to whenever and just when i was abt to feel down i saw you posted this. i rlly relate to everything in this video. i had a friend group in high school but things went bad and i learned im better off friends with people individually. however it does get lonely sometimes since i know even those friends i have individually have their own friend groups. i’ve come to accept that i’d rather feel comfortable with the few relationships i have rather than force myself into ones that feel toxic just for the sake of not being alone
i can totally relate. i’ve been dealing with constant rejections as well the past months. but we have to have hope in ourselves. rejection is redirection. we should never dictate rejections with our self worth which is what i’m trying to learn as well. and yes i relate with you on how being friends with people individually. it can get so lonely sometimes but it’s better than dealing with toxic people. sending you so much love ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️i hope things will go well for you luv 🫶
this really resonates with me, i was homeschooled so i have basically lived my whole life so far without any friends (except some online friends). it's been really hard to deal with- going out and seeing other people my age all hanging out in their own little groups. i just feel like i'll never be able to have that experience. even if i try to hang out with people, i always feel so left out because i'm not as close as everyone else is. i'm basically just an outsider wherever i go. i don't think i'll ever truly "fit in" or have one of those close friend groups. but in 2023, i'm really trying to learn how to be okay with that. this video helps a lot :) thank you for sharing your thoughts. i'm glad i got this in my recommended!! i definitely needed it right now
Omg I relate sooo hard!! I had to switch to online school due to bad mental health, but I truly regret it. I don’t think my life could get any more miserable than it already is now. I have 0 friends, except for online ones, who I still barely talk to. I never see family members because I can’t leave my house due to severe anxiety, which leads to full blown panic attacks. It’s the absolute worst. Whenever I try to explain to someone it’s like they don’t get it at all. I wish I could just go to school and have friends like a normal person, but that’s not me and I’m ashamed of that everyday!
babes i feel u, i was never homeschooled but i never really had friends at all growing up. i was bullied over stupid stuff, like my name, my glasses, my clothes, my interests, etc. so most people never wanted to be associated with me, and even those few who did occasionally talk to me didn't stick around long. trust me, i have never fit in and i already know i never will lol. but over time, i've learned to look at that as a strength. it's a strength to be different and not just 'fit in' with everybody else. being unique is our power, it's not at all a weakness. and don't worry too much about missed experiences, because everyday is a chance to experience something new. it doesn't matter if you're on your own or not, personally i love going on little adventures alone and trying new things by myself. don't let not having friends stop you from living your best life. you can do whatever you want!! you don't have to have friends to have a good time. realizing that is what really made my life easier. i wish you well on your journey, and i hope someday you'll know that being able to thrive on your own is truly a superpower!!
I’m so happy I finally found someone who I can relate to. I’m currently in middle school and usually no one would sit with me so I would just sit alone and go on my phone to make people think I’m busy. Even in my class I wouldn’t have any friends so when it came to group projects I would be by myself or with people I’m not comfortable with. Even though I’m sad that via had gone through what I’m going through right now I’m also really relived because watching people with the same struggles really makes me feel more like a real person and that I’m not alone
Watching your videos and stories and TikToks made me more comfortable with being alone,and not trying to force relations with anyone, thank you so much ❤
Damn gurl 0:35 hits hard because I feel the exact same way, "being shy and introverted, and growing up ugly". So so true, nobody told you how being ugly as a kid / teen impacted your social life and overall self-confidence no matter how significant your glow ups are in your adulthood.
You are not alone. We are all not alone. Our world is full of beautiful, kind and talented people who all feel lonely. It takes tremendous courage to admit that you are lonely. If you reach out, you will find many other lonely people willing to give you the gift of their friendship. Just be yourself. Hello friends all around the world!
Really don't know what i did wrong. Even the "weird" kid has their own friends, their own little group, and im just simply there. I feel like im not supposed to belong in here
I know exactly where you're coming from! At 9 years old I went to an all white school (I'm Filipina) and felt so ugly. Kids would comment negativities about my nose, my huge lips, eyes, and color. They literally called me ugly N...word. I was filled with self loathing. This went on for a few years until I moved away. Took me decades to heal myself through self-help books. Now that I'm 50, I've learned to embrace my uniqueness. Somewhere along the way, the features I once hated about myself are now considered attractive! Go figure! What I'm trying to say is embrace your uniqueness. Act confident even if you're not. You'll notice people will gravitate your way. Most important thing you can do is self love. Self acceptance will set you free from wanting validation from others. As you get older, validations from others doesn't matter as much. By the way, you are beautiful! Keep telling yourself that!
I feel this so much. I'm 26 now. I've always been introverted and shy, it's difficult for me to strike up and maintain conversations. The thing is, I do usually have friend groups and I even have a bestfriend. Despite that, I just know I'm not a priority in anyone's life, I know our values etc don't exactly match. But since I'm older I have noticed that it's one in a million that you'll find someone that matches you and your values 100% and most people just make sacrifices and learn to like others despite the differences. Anyhow, point is I also do feel lonely that my state of relationships are this way. And I genuinely feel like it will always be like this because I know myself.
It feels so comforting knowing that I’m not going through this alone but at the same time it makes me super sad that so many people can relate with this and are going through the same thing 😔
We have to normalize that some of us are really struggling to make real connections. The society stigmatizes loners too much and makes us think it's a personal problem but there are many factors that contribute to a person being almost or actually friendless, such as they enjoying solitude, friends moving away or growing apart for future pursuit, or just discovery of incompatibility to certain aspects with current friends. I almost broke up with my only friend group the beginning of this year and now still trying to form a new friend group. But my ex friends have spread rumors about me within our bigger mutual circle and that definitely has affected how some perceive my character. Now I only have 3 friends i talk to individually. Still trying 😅
Wow! I could relate to so many aspects you shared. Struggling with the sense of belonging somewhere just gets worse due to social anxiety :'( Anyone who's reading this rn know that you're not alone. There are so many of us who have similar stories. You never walk alone 🫂
A video has never described my life so well. I have a habit of not being able to maintain friendships just bcuz idrk how to show affection or just not enough energy to match them. And this has led me to being alone pretty much a lot of the time. Your video really points out all the things I couldn’t admit to myself a few months ago. But recently, from my experience, I’ve really came close to God by reading the Bible and praying and I realized I don’t feel so lonely anymore. It made me realize how I can’t force to belong somewhere just as you said in the video. Instead, I’m just going with the flow that God is taking me to and trying to better myself by being productive and not dwelling on how lonely i may seem. I also want everybody to know that there IS a God watching all of us and will be with us through the ends of the earth.
This video speaks to my soul, literally teared up. I'm in my second year of uni and completely let go of the idea of fitting in. I didn't have any real friends in high school, I lost my friend group that already made me feel trapped so I don't really care about them but it still hurts that I'm all by myself in a city far away from my family. I'm keeping myself occupied, training every day, trying to learn language, basically anything to avoid the fact that I'm lonely. It's almost like I've given up the idea that I'm compatible with people, although on the internet I see many like minded people. Seeing that other people feel similarly to me gives me hope that my life has the potential to change.
I grew up living with my grandparents and mom and her siblings. As a 29 year old now, I relate most to people my parents age or older. I was an only child but I blended in almost like a sibling to my mom and her siblings? Anyway now I see it as such a blessing. I adore my grandparents, and I am similar to them and I don’t fit in.
i’m literally gonna cry because this finally explains what i’ve been going through my entire life and i feel relieved that other people could relate with me. being a hijabi girl in america is not the easiest, especially in highschool. it doesn’t help that i go to a predominantly white school. but everybody i know even the other muslim kids have their own friend groups. they’re social, they’re fun, they’re cool. i’m a sophomore in highschool and this entire year i’ve been friend group hopping. i also know individual people like i say hi to them in the halls and i talk to them in class but they don’t reciprocate the same energy i give them so this entire school year i’ve been hoping to find “the right ones.” a few days ago i realized i don’t need to find the right ones. i don’t need to have friends. if these people really actually cared about me and gave a damn about me, they would come up to me and say hi. yet none of them do. i’m not gonna chase after them like i have been for the past two years. starting junior year in the fall, im doing me. i’ll make friends but i won’t be reliant on them bc i’m not gonna risk getting my heart broken like i have been with the last 5 friend groups i’ve been in.
Thank you for making this video. Truly amazed by the comment section! Makes me feel less lonely so that you everyone ! Personally, I have grown up shy and introverted with very strict parents. Although I was not considered "ugly", I have always felt that it was hard for me to form meaningful friendships. I am slightly awkward and nervous in social settings and I hated myself for it. Just the other day I hung out with my closest coworkers and felt so out of place. The only thing that went through my mind were things like " I just wanna go home and be with my dog" or" If I drink more i wont feel time go by"... It is so exhausting yet I still crave for a close bond with someone. I also despise social or group events... I am much better hanging out with someone one on one. What I can say is take the time to get to know yourselves and what your boundaries are and if people cannot respect them , then let them go. If you keep hanging out with such individuals you will simply build up resentment (aka negative energy) inside! Learn to accept yourself and determine your strengths. Practice self- validation ; what I have started doing is writing down one thing that I did that I am proud of during my day in my journal before bed every night. You will in time acknowledge yourself more and more and will n:)
I used to be like this too, I think I have an undiagnosed neurodivergent condition, when I was in middle school other kids would call me weird and bully me. I had (and still have to some degree) the lowest self esteem imaginable, I couldn't look in the mirror even when I had to brush my hair. The only way I could stand out was to make a fool out of myself, so that's what I was doing to get some attention even if it was at the cost of my dignity. Highschool I was very depressed, didn't talk to anyone, managed to make like 1 or 2 friends. But at 17 something clicked, it was as if I had enough of it and wanted some change. I knew that people wouldn't approach me, so I went out of my comfort zone and started talking to new people, being as extroverted as possible, and it worked. I developed my sense of humor and kindness in the years prior, so making friends was easy. I now have tons of friends, and my close inner circle is around 5 people besides me. I can easily go talk to somebody, and I don't take it personally anymore. Talking to my friends made me realize that a lot of people just don't take initiative, they may see someone and think they're very cool but they still won't approach that person. Out of the dozens of people I know I'm the only one who does it, so it made me think that it's not actually me who was at fault. I wasn't too ugly, too lame, too whatever. It's just that people lack initiative and are afraid of approaching first. So don't take it personally, there's nothing wrong with you, and I'm well aware I'm a happy case that was able to change. I still suffer from depression, and I highly suggest getting therapy if possible. If not keep in mind it's not YOU that makes people not approach you, it's other people not taking initiative to do so. I assure you there's been lots of people in your life that you met who thought you were cool af and never approached. And normal is subjective, my close friends are also neurodivergent, and for us this is the normal. Just find your normal, don't try to be something you're not, I assure you there's people just like you who you'd get along with greatly.
You belong to this beautiful community you created with your videos. 💞Watching your videos made me realize that I'm not alone, that there are so many people who share the same feeling with me. Thank you for your efforts!
I’ve had social anxiety most of my life yet I was always fortunate to have friends around in some way. People kept wanting to “adopt” me I guess. But I never felt like I truly belonged in groups. It always felt like my friends didn’t get me and would often say so. As I gotten older and worked on lowering my social anxiety, I knew exactly what to do to fit in different groups. And my long time friends and I came to understand each other a lot better. That said I still always felt a bit different. It’s like everyone interests and way of thinking was still fundamentally different. Even though I can appear to be like everyone else at a party and my friends started to act more like me, it still didn’t feel quite the same. That’s when I realized I feel that this is something internal I’m always gonna feel to some degree. And yea I’m always going to be a bit different and now I think that’s great. Fitting in at parties or with friend groups is a nice feeling. But it is not as fulfilling as you think if you don’t genuinely love the people you’re with. So just be you and focus on the people you know are good for you. They dont have to get you, they just have to care and be willing to try.
It feels a little better to know that i am not the only one who deals with loneliness or just feeling lonely. This video describes my situation perfectly in every second
I'm glad to hear that the video resonated with you and made you feel less alone. Loneliness is a common experience that many people face, and it's important to remember that you're not alone in your struggles. By sharing our stories and connecting with others who understand, we can find comfort and support. Stay strong and continue to reach out and seek connections that bring you joy and fulfillment. You deserve to feel seen, heard, and understood.
I love how you perfectly worded everything. You literally said everything that I wish I could scream out to the world. I feel so seen and I’m glad that I’m not alone in this lonely journey.
Sometimes i isolate myself people around me because its comfort and ı realized when i isaolate myself too much i cant talk people “normal”. I judging myself because i cant feel and act “normal”. And its keep repeating it. Only way to get out this cicycle is accepting yourself and accepting anxiety is part of me, not me.
I'm so happy I found your channel. I'm a uni student far from home and I feel so lonely sometimes... The people around me (specifically my roomies) are not so caring... So I'm happy I found someone whom I understand where she's coming from ♥️🙂
This comment section is all what i needed. Whatever you said resonated so strongly with me. I have always been mostly on my own, never really having friends group to call my own or fall back on. I'm my own person. It gets lonely sometimes especially when i see others having the life i thought that im ought to have. But yes who tf cares about fitting in. Ive been feeling like an imposter, never really truly belonging anywhere. I didn't have anyone to confide in and or someone who'd understand my feelings. Well now im 22 and I don't wanna get stuck in this vicious cycle anymore. Thank you for this. Sending love to everyone.
My experiences in high school and college were a lot like yours, but reversed. I had a friend group in high school that I didn't feel like I belonged in because they were all wrapped up in their own relationship drama, but in college I didn't regularly hang out with anyone. That feeling of not belonging really sticks with you - for most of my twenties I held on to this belief that everybody else only tolerated me out of obligation or politeness, and that if I did something "wrong" or stood out too much then they would realize that I didn't belong and hate me or reject me. I still struggle with being afraid to express myself or speak my mind; I got so used to being quiet and not speaking that it became my identity.
being held back by anxiety is the worst, sometimes i'd like to approach someone and maybe be friends but those thoughts pop up about what could go wrong, and it feels bad that the person in question could be going through loneliness and axniety too which could have been helped if i werent so anxious. (on a brighter note, i feel proud that i could recognize some of the places that you showed in the video)
personally i also find having individual friends so much better for myself overall. i have 3 friends from my class that i suppose i could consider a mini friend group, and even with just the few of us i find it much more complicated than my individual friends.. i often feel left out because they are part of a much larger friend group outside of school that has a LOT of drama, and while i definitely dont wanna be part of the drama, they often talk about their other friends around me and it makes me feel almost lonely around them. but it also makes me feel so grateful for my friends that i can just be alone and comfortable with, and not feel pressured as i would in a group
yes i totally get what you mean! getting into friend group drama can be so exhausting and complicated. maybe we haven’t found the right friend groups but being friends with individuals is so much easier in my opinion.
you don't know how relieving it is to have someone finally verbalize what i've been feeling throughout 4 years of high school its hard for me to even get close to people because i subconsciously sacrifice my own feelings and needs for the sake of fitting in, and it left me with no close friends that i can truly depend on, and ultimately an unfulfilling high school experience. now that im going into college, im so terrified of repeating this pattern of changing myself for others. im a very extroverted and energetic person that relies a lot on other people and other external things to make me happy, but i'm coming to a stage where i need to find peace with and within myself. thank you for helping me in this huge step of realization.
please please make these type of videos often -when you have time ofc♡- your videos are really healing for me. i feel connected what you've gone through in every videos??! i can relate so bad! idk how to describe it my eng is not good 😭 but your channel is like a therapy for me, im glad i found about your channel!!! thank you thank you 🩷
i really have to thank you for making videos like this. i spent so many years thinking i was completely alone in this, like i was the only idiot in the world who just couldnt make friends or talk to people. it’s comforting to hear you speak and read the comments and know that this is, to an extent, normal. that its okay to not be perfect in social situations
When you're both shy and introvert it's really hard to be in a group of people and its more comfortable to be alone eventho it can be awkward sometimes. I really enjoyed being alone at home but when going outside sometimes I do wish I have 1 or 2 friend to hang out with cause I have anxiety in public & I don't want to stand out.
I can relate a lot. Especially in school seeing everyone have a bunch of friends makes you feel like there's something wrong with you when in reality all those ''popular'' kids aren't even being themselves or like each other but settle because they want to liked so bad. As I grow older realize how nice being alone actually is. It is peaceful and you don't have that pressure of feeling like you have to be entertaining or constantly doing something. In the same bubble where I want to meet people who have the same drive and mindset for life but not feeling like I have to go out of my way and put myself in situations like parties or random things like that just to feel included. The right genuine people will come. The sooner we realize everyone is in their head worrying about themselves and not others anxiety will diminish.
I relate with peoples' comments and experiences about feeling so alone all the time. Every day, I feel "not normal." When I see normal people joking around with their friends, when I see my friends interacting with other people as if everyone knows each other and everyone's friends except me... the feeling is sometimes unbearable. For everyone here, who doesn't feel like they don't belong - stay strong. I know it's cliche but I mean it. I hope that these experienes don't get you down and define you, because you and I both know they don't. I hope that one day, you will not feel lonely and you can smile and laugh and have the happiness that you deserve. Please just stay strong with the hope of this happening.
I used to walk around aimlessly or hide in a bathroom stall during lunch in high school. Grew up so shy and anxious and still am. Even in college I have long spurts of keeping to myself before I reach out to people. It's a challenging journey but as long as I build my confidence and be gentle with myself, I think I'll turn out alright :)
I have watched your video twice, bc sometimes I feel lonely in my own room, which I’m supposed to feel alone, but not lonely. I’m an ambivert I love talking to people, but I also like my own space. Ty for telling me ur story.
This is so me , i am literally going through what you've felt , i am studying in last year of high school in Belgium and i have no friends, because i was born in nepal and they were born here , so i dont fit in , your video is really helpful and i am shocked that we people in the comments and you have so many things in common. Now what i do is just be in comfy space and accept my loneliness, and nowadays its less painful than before
I was literally having a terrible day today and then you just popped in my screen I’m so glad, I felt alone my entire life, doesn’t matter how many people I’m surrounded by that feeling never goes away. These vid brought a little relieve from my daily struggles, thank you so much ❤️
The "friend group" thing is so relatable… I used to have an all girls friend group when I was in school and it was the best time of my life - but there was also the drama and that was part of the reason why it ended. Now I‘m in college and I don‘t have a friend group anymore. It does get lonely tbh and I get jealous of people who have that :( I feel like I‘ve gotten even more picky about the people I befriend. Also, I genuinely enjoy my own company. I feel like ever since I left school and started college, the "weird" side of me has been showing more and more. I just care less about what people think. In school I was so self conscious about literally everything all the time. But I also fit in better back then. Because I tried harder I guess. Idk. Just felt like dumping this here :,) Thanks for the video anyways!!
I started entertaining that I’m neurodivergent, high functioning autistic. Would explain a lot for me, but yea this video speaks nothing but facts. I also know though I’m “different”, I also hold aspects\views that I wish humanity held. There’s something unique about me,that makes not fitting in worth it at times. It’s lonely at times, but I learned to love my a attributes and see my strengths and advantages.
Your videos are so relatable, I'm actually autistic, and I relate so bad when you talk about trying to fit in and also trying to be fine by yourself and be independent but also how it gets lonely sometimes... I really agree with your advice in the end, just be yourself bc it's still better to not have friends than to force yourself to be something you aren't in order to have company
To be honest, i don't really like socializing but i feel the need to make some friends. Because i feel embarassed sitting myself alone; like you said, to not feel like a loser. I envy that people who are so comfortable with sitting only by theirself.
My whole life I've struggled to make and keep friends, I've never really had a friend group. Last year people from my highschool aranged this meeting so we could get to know eachother better .We went to this park and I just sat down next to a tree, watching kids talk, but I had no idea how to do that, I was too scared. It is comforting to know that I'm not the only one who's felt this way
Feeling lonely and craving wanting to be in a friend group, but then when you find a group, you’ve been so socially isolated that it’s hard for you to remember how to socialize again is something I deal with a lot.
this is soooo relatable, it's so comforting, thank you for being vulnerable on the internet, you have no idea how much your videos helps me🥰🥰 i've always felt like an outcast especially when i turned 13, then i amplified my isolation during the covid years and my mental health got sm worse not only because of my own mistakes (locking myself up emotionally and physically, being an edgy angry kid at the world), but stressful external factors like trying to get into uni (i relate to what you said in your other vid about growing up ugly, having academia as your only goal and focus and not caring about anything else, being a 1st gen etc), family... it's been almost a year since i've been actively trying to get better physically and mentally after that period of life ended (highschool), and now im done with my 1st year of uni and i definitely see improvements, even though i have setbacks i dont give up and i keep trying. i dont care anymore if im an outcast, i accept myself fully and unapologetically. i dont have a friendgroup and im kinda a loner but it's fine, nobody cares so i just do what makes me happy and keeps my soul and inner-child at peace, i mind my business and do what works for ME not what others do ;) damn im rambling, im done now haha
as a introvert guy 25 having a same issues too , i often feel lonely and isolated when dont have many friends and no body call u or text u or ask to go out or play games together either male or female friends. Even right now in university still the same even i already 25 but trying my best to be happy and dont feel lonely even if it hurts a lot,
I'm so glad to hear that others feel the same way as me! Always felt so alone so watching your videos and reading the comments makes me feel a little better about myself, thank you ♥️♥️♥️
Sis Thank Youu so much for posting. There are many people who really need to hear this. The moment i hear you, i felt like you are literally talking about me. You expressed yourself so clearly that i can resonate with each and every word you said. I seriously cried watching your video. My entire life i have felt exactly what you are felt. thank you for making this video.
Wow, this video has opened my eyes. I've been struggling a lot in my teenage years and early adulthood with this same situation. I thought I just had low self esteem in the past but even when I felt good about myself I wouldn't ever want to put myself out there. Like I wouldn't really comment on things online or in person cause I felt so different or like my opinion didn't matter, like I was some alien. I used to be alone a lot too because of it. I didn't really pin point what it was until I watched this.
Recently its been kinda tough and I was also trying to convinve myself that I dont need anyone but IT HURTS a lot. I guess my class teacher noticed that and brought it up to my parents which makes me feel even more of a loser now but seeing your video and these amazing comments has kinda made me feel a lil bit better. I just wish we all could someday meet we could create the most fun friendgroup ever ❤
Your videos are so comforting because it really feels relatable, and also i love watching these lil « vlogs » while listening to your voice in the background. Tysm for this 🫶
my entire life ive felt im like 'watching over' normal people. I can see everyone living normal lives and behaving normally but that was something i can never have or had. yknow how sometimes you can only admire what others have from afar because it wasnt meant for you. idk how to explain but i feel im just watching a movie im not involved in
this is something i wanted to talk about in future journal entries as well: being an observer. the looking from afar and the negative feelings associated with it. even when you are in the picture, it still feels like you’re almost still performing for others 😞
you put it so well actually, i feel the same way but never knew how to describe those feelings. you really summed it up perfectly
@@solar1073 i never knew so many other people could resonate with what i said damn😞
wow yeah, that's exactly what it feels like
I feel like one of those random characters in movies who doesn't speak, that just in line at the supermarket, hahaha, it has no relevance to the story 😂
I get depressed when I see everyone having the best time with their friends and I'm just staying here doing nothing. Everyday I wake up and I don't even have a message. Its just horrible.
It’s weird seeing other people go through the exact some thing as me. I can totally relate to your comment and it makes me so sad
Same same same
This is me. Sometimes I can feel myself getting jealous of other siblings for having the social
circle+life I want, it makes me feel as if I got dealt a bad hand in life. Soon I’ll be starting school so, hoping that’ll bring some change.
Hey man, nothing changes is nothing changes. You got this. Don't give up.
same it is so sad fr.
Its weird how so many of us exist but can never find eachother yk? Like theres so many lonely people that have common interests yet it always feels like literally everyone else has that super social normal life style? Idk maybe its just me, hurts to see others online talking about feeling left out bc all i wanna do is sit with them and let them know they can be themselves and still be appreciated by the right people, social status means nothing.
Probably because these persons dont usually go out unless they need
I once joined an "introverts group" on meetup and... it was really awful. They held the meeting at a noisy bar. Nobody knew anybody so it was awkward, and it was a crossover event with a larger social group so that group just sort of did their own thing while the rest of us watched. Like Via's story about going to a party and standing around awkwardly, except it was half of the people there. The music was so loud that we couldn't even do small talk.
I realised that we're almost always present but we've gotten too good at hiding. When I'm in an isle shopping for something, I'll leave or make myself near invisible so that I don't inconvenience anyone. It was only the other day that I realised the reason I dont see others like myself is that we all know how to blend in and will likely avoid each other without knowing. Most of my hobbies are independent, so when I do hang out with people sat around talking, I have nothing in common with them and nothing to add. It's like being ghosted in person which I acknowledge is my own fault for not just joining in but most of the time, I just dont agree with them.
Muay Thai is nice, helped a lot.
It's cuz these people are now trying to fit into other groups
Having a friend group but still feeling like you don't belong is so exhausting, it feels like being stuck with some people just to not feel lonely.
Hey, this is me 4 months later...It does get better, I started Uni with a whole different mindset from highschool, If you search you find.
Feeling lonely is soo normal, but there's always people that are actually worth it.
Fist step: Change your mindset so you can actually see yourself and other people from a new perspective.
Just for the sake of not being lonely, and stand out as an odd ball....
Honestly, as I’m getting older now, I’m realising more and more that it’s better to be alone than to be with people who you have nothing in common with and who don't care about you
broooootal asf, truecel trait
@@ItsNicola truee
That was me my whole school life, from elementary to college.
It’s both comforting and sad how this message speaks to so many people. We need a solution to finding community more than ever
I completely understand how you're feeling. It can be difficult to feel like you're part of a friend group but not really connecting with anyone on a deeper level. It's okay to feel this way and it's important to remember that not all friendships are meant to be lifelong.
Perhaps it's time to evaluate whether these friendships are healthy and fulfilling for you. You might also want to try expanding your social circle and meeting new people who share your interests and values. Joining a club or community related to your hobbies or passions can be a great way to connect with like-minded people.
Also, remember that it's okay to be alone sometimes. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness. Don't be afraid to take some time for yourself, pursue your own interests, and focus on self-care.
A community of outsiders ? We need a miracle
One if the reason I'm outcast is because I'm a bit mizentrop..Humanity is F
In university I also sat alone during lunch for quite a long while... Now almost 5 years later I am such a strong person and go to concerts or movie theaters alone and I am happy - because I can ❤
omg i am so happy for you for what you have become. i am still in my fresher's years and my situation is kind of same, even though i am stuck with a group of people or so called friend group but i already know i dont fit in. however i also aspire to become strong just like you. also heartily congratulation for surviving through this i am sooo proud of youuu!!! take love
@@hikigayahaachiman thank you so much for your lovely words! School / University is a difficult and weird time for everyone I guess. So I wish you all the best, hope you survive the madness (hahah) and become a happy & strong person!
It's great to hear that you've been able to grow and become more comfortable with spending time alone. Learning to enjoy your own company can be a valuable skill that can lead to greater independence, self-awareness, and self-confidence.
Going to concerts or movie theaters alone may seem intimidating at first, but it can also be empowering and liberating. You get to choose how you spend your time and don't have to worry about pleasing anyone else. It's a great opportunity to focus on your own interests and passions, and to connect with others who share those interests.
Remember, being alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely. Finding ways to cultivate a sense of joy and fulfillment in your own company can help you feel more confident and content, whether you're alone or with others.
i want to be like that someday:)
@@Sophia.sunsun wow thank you for your great words! ☺️🫶🏻 I totally agree with you!
All of what you said is exactly how I've been feeling pretty much my whole life, especially as I'm still in school. Usually when we're lonely, we blame ourselves: "What I've done wrong?", "Am I really that unlikeable?", "Youth isn't as fun as everyone tells, I'm wasting these years". Well, I try to convince myself being alone is better in some ways: I'm independent, I get to know myself better, discover new hobbies and focus on studies. But still, sometimes I just can't hold back sadness when I see other people having so much fun with friends and having another person to share feelings with, while I have no one but myslef really 😕
I relate to this so much and it’s kind of comforting to know that there ARE people that are going through the same thing
Same
Yes！ I can totally relate, just don't see people having fun together. Avoid looking at them.
wow same
@@Julia-ur3jn same
idk how to describe it, but this video and this comment section feel like a safe and comforting space. the vibes are just so chill here, and i dont feel lonely :)
We are always here for you❤what ever u are going through..and I mean it.❤
I too feel lonely..and left out..i barely have social life and i feel like-is it because of how i am..I feel jealous watching people having the best time of their lifes while i am here stuck in this bubble and this cycle that I can't seem to get out of..I miss my old cheery extrovert bubbly self a lot
Same ❤
I'm glad to hear that you feel safe and comforted by this space. It's important to have spaces where we feel like we can be ourselves and connect with others in a positive and supportive environment. The internet can be a great place to find communities of people who share similar experiences or interests, and who can offer emotional support and encouragement.
Remember, seeking connection and support when we're feeling down or lonely is a sign of strength, not weakness. Keep reaching out and connecting with others who make you feel positive and supported.
❤❤❤
I don’t have a friend group. I literally only have 3 people that I talk to. But I feel like they’re their own friend group. And that im just there. I really want to fit in with them.
i totally get that. but when you meet the right people, you won't ever have to force yourself to fit in with them. sending you so much love
Same💔🙂
hope things are going well with you and that you’ve made progress on seeing where exactly you fit in to this friendship group. just remember it shouldn’t have to feel like you have to make an anxious effort to not be excluded. your true people (and this circle will beautifully grow with LOTS time and patience) will have you never questioning your worth or place.
oh my same it happened to me yesterday 💔
when my friend invites a birthday party and im feeling that i dont belong their circle
Same. I'm in high school
If you ever feel lonely, just remember that there are trillions of cells inside you, that literally can't live without you
Thats a great way of putting it lol..makes me feel a little less worthless and lonely
That's an interesting perspective and a reminder of how intricate our bodies are. It's true that our bodies are made up of trillions of cells, each with their own unique functions and roles, all working together to keep us alive and healthy.
While this is a fascinating biological fact, it's also important to remember that our emotional well-being matters as much as our physical health. Feeling lonely or disconnected from others can have negative impacts on our mental and emotional health.
So while it's comforting to know that we have a whole ecosystem of cells inside our bodies, it's equally important to prioritize building connections and relationships with others to nourish our emotional well-being. Remember, seeking connection and support from others is a sign of strength and can lead to positive outcomes for our mental health.
The way this just made me cry...
Awwwwww thank you for this one lovely 🥰
That's cute 🥰
so true... because of how introverted i can be i feel like i just come across as a boring person to other people. i can't speak to people very well, not because im shy but i just can't move a conversation forward and then the relationship never progresses. and whilst most of the time i dont mind being by myself, and enjoy my own company, sometimes i wish i made a new friend or two after starting college to make it a bit more bearable. everyone is walking around in big groups and most of the time im by myself. even if i have friends they have their own friend group that i just cant see myself becoming a part of ever, and i start thinking that they'd rather be hanging out with them instead of me because im not as much fun. im happy most of the time tho, just those odd times you start thinking too much 😌
this exactly. it’s so sad how we feel like we are “boring” when we can’t speak to people as well as others. and yes i also feel this sort of envy with healthy friend groups, wishing that i had something like that. having friends will make things more bearable in life. but only quality friends tho. we just need to be patient with ourselves. if we stay true to ourselves, the right people will come ♥️♥️♥️ sending you so much love and tysm for sharing this
@@via.ilyouu thank you ! ☺i've not watched a lot, but your videos are really enjoyable
Have you read the book "How to win friends and influence people"? It really helped me.
Incredible book
I don't have a lot of friends( i had but they are not quality people). didn't get a girl to share my feelings even i shared to someone but they don't really care though that's why I thought everytime what is wrong happened to me?Am i not good enough to get some love?
Omggg this is so me in college and over all!! I totally get youu sometimes we do need friends in life to make it more fun!!!! I carve for people somewhere but most of the time I'm okay by myself it's just some days where I feel super lonely and sad:/
yep, I feel the same way, no friends in uni, introverted and also being neurodivergent all contribute to feeling like the wallflower, but it’s so crazy how many of us feel the same way and how we haven’t met each other :( just sucks that the best people are alone
Yup, hello
True 😢 your not alone though
True
Sad life
After watching this video , i highly suggest starting a podcast because even though the things you talk about are so relatable for so many people but also because your voice is so comforting , you are becoming my comfort person to watch and listen to😭🤍
aweee stoppp this is so nice of you to say😭🤚maybe someday i’ll start a podcast! but as for now, i do wanna post more here on youtube 🫶🫶🫶but thank u for telling me this ily
@@via.ilyouui’ll always wait for your podcast 🤧🤍lvyt
@@via.ilyouu if you do i’d totally listen to the podcast. i agree with this comment wholeheartedly!
Agree
I thought the same! Her voice is so comfortable!
It’s crazy how people from all over the world have the same worries. This is an amazing video. I definitely relate to this. Thank you
growing up as an autistic girl i feel like such an alien. always having to put myself through a filter and trying my hardest to be a certain way to make other people comfortable, but even when i put so much effort into masking every day of my life i feel like i’ll never be able to fit in properly with my peers. i feel like i’m missing something everyone else has, something that comes really easy to them but i can’t mimic properly no matter how badly i wish i could. being neurodivergent is so isolating for this, and i’m scared i’m gonna feel this kind of loneliness and separation my whole life. i know it sounds cliche, but i just want to be really, really normal.
As a person with social anxiety and adhd this resonates so much with my own life! I'm so sorry you feel this way.
Specially the part about "missing something that everyone else has". Every day feels like putting on a performance that you're never completely satisfied with.
I dearly hope that one day you will meet the people that truly value you for who you are ♥️
I started entertaining that I was on spectrum last year. I also know though I’m “different”, I also hold aspects\views that I wish humanity held. There’s something unique about us that makes not fitting in worth it at times. It’s lonely at times, but I learned to love my attributes and see my strengths and advantages.
This is so real. I feel like when people say stuff like ‘don’t be normal, be yourself ect..” they dont get how bad it is. Like i don’t want to be myself, i just want to be normal.
I feel you, but just know there's plenty of neurodivergent folks out there. For me and my friend group, being neurodivergent is normal, this is our normal. You don't have to mimic the others, spend that energy looking for your own people. I honestly think neurotypicals are boring (no offense), they lack the spark I see in other neurodivergents, they behave very similarly and are pretty much all the same. Neurodivergent people come in so many types, I've never met 2 similar neurodivergent people. If I had the choice to be born normal, I wouldn't choose it no matter what. Being neurodivergent is lonely, but it's also awesome, it's great to see life so differently and fully explore stuff, to have such passion. Have you ever met a neurotypical who could speak for hours and hours (literally) about an interest? Neither have I.
Don't focus on being lonely and neurodivergent, just focus on finding people like you. usually around 2 in 10 people are neurodivergent (if not more) so it's impossible you don't find some friends.
I feel like that too, sometimes when i think about it, i think that i am failure and the only thing i could do is just wait for something to kill me, like erasing a draft
I’m sooo sad when I see others having fun w their friends, when I try to fit in they just don’t care about my words like there’s a shield between us, and that makes me feel worse than watching others having fun. I’m so confused and always can’t figure out why.(i don’t think i can’t socialize with people, but i think they just kind of childish and mean sometimes.）
You’ve just described how I’ve been feeling my entire life that I couldn’t put into words.
Same here...this is how I felt until now. These same exact words from her and I'm glad that I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Omg same 😭😭
I'm glad that my words were able to resonate with you and help you put your feelings into words. Sometimes it can be difficult to articulate our emotions, and it's important to remember that you're not alone in how you feel.
It's okay to seek help and support from others, whether that's through talking to a therapist, reaching out to friends and family members, or joining support groups or communities where you can connect with others who share similar experiences. Remember, your emotions and experiences are valid and there are people who want to support you on your journey towards healing and growth.
I am literally crying you just described my entire life, watching this video and reading comments I have first realised that I am not alone like this
We are in the same boat
I'm really sorry to hear that you've been feeling so alone, but I'm glad that my video and comments have made you realize that you're not alone in your experiences. Remember that there are people out there who understand and empathize with what you're going through. You are never alone in this journey, and there is support available to you.
samee
The way she validates so much of my own experiences is one of the many reasons she'll forever be my favourite person on the internet
stoppp ilysmmm♥️♥️🫶💐💐💐
It's great to find someone who can relate to and validate our own experiences. Feeling understood and heard can be very powerful, and it can be especially helpful when we're going through difficult times.
It's important to have people in our lives who we can turn to for support and validation, whether that's a close friend, family member, therapist, or someone else. It's also helpful to find resources and communities, such as online spaces, where we can connect with others who have shared experiences.
Remember, you're not alone in your experiences, and there are people out there who understand and care. Keep reaching out and connecting with others who uplift and support you.
i also think people romanticize being like awkward and having social anxiety. not so fun when u lose opportunities because of it... and i felt this so much. even with my closest friends (i've known them for 12 yrs) i can't be fully open. I literally have a group chat where i send vocal messages to myself lmao.
Just 16 seconds of the video and I am crying “the need to constantly wanting to fit in,but at the same time you just don’t fit in,bc I felt like I don’t belong I feel like I shouldn’t stand out“ this is literally how I’ve felt this last two years of high school and until now I am facing the fact that that’s what I’ve been feeling all this time,I knew I didn’t fit in but I just couldn’t put it into words I just had the feeling but couldn’t even explica it to myself THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤
ILYSMMMMM SENDING HUGS
Me too
The reading a book to not feel like a loser is so true haha
I remember bringing a book to a HANGOUT I was invited to for the sole reason of using it whenever I felt left out again.
I was invited. To a hangout. And they didn't even give the effort to make me feel like I belong. They realized it later but still didn't really make an effort.
So yeah, reading a book to not feel like a loser IS real.
I straight up talked alone in lunch as a kid 😭
@@tiniduck2182 so real
Damn, being lonely is a struggle sometimes- I sat reading books at a lunch table for 4 years because.. All the “friends “ that I made last year and the year after never made the effort to talk to me ever again after those years… I’ve felt like a nuisance ever since they just simply forgot about me
@@tiniduck2182i had the exact same experience 😭i would always bring a book or deck of cards to play at parties/hangouts so i wouldn't "get in the way" and nobody even made an effort.
this is one of the times i love the internet because im able to find people like me, people who have the same experiences and thoughts as me when in real life it feels so isolating
I can confirm that when you grow up with this trauma, as an adult, it really handicaps you in the “real world.” We need more awareness of this, and we need people to stop feeling bad about being this way. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! You are your own unique being, and I wouldn’t change anything about you. Leave the trauma behind - of eating school lunches by yourself, of constantly comparing yourself to other people in your high school friend group - it does not define you (probably has only made you more beautiful on the inside, because you’ve learned how to have compassion for people who are struggling). Bring what you were into what you are now, and just shine like the beautiful you.
Fuck uniqueness
its really easy to say that when you have emotional support from others
Here i am again sharing my trauma lol, i was bullied when i was in school and i was always alone. I used to have a big friend group when i was really young but that friend group started making fun of me from elementary school to hs etc. I never felt i truly belonged and i actually started copying their mannerisms and they way they existed just to fit in. I always wanted a best friend or a shoulder to cry on, but i didn't find it yet. I am not talking about family, but friends. Now in college i have like 2 friends? And they told me that i am very unapproachable, they way that sit, stare and everything. At first i got sad because i really wanted to look fun and bubbly and i tried too hard to do so that my social battery started slipping through my hands and i was exhausted and sad and angry. I just came to the conclusion that idc if i look unapproachable, if someone wants to talk to me they can, even more if they know me. I feel like an alien and i always watch people having fun, talking yk chit chatting and i trully don't know how to do it. I always try to be more of everything which leads to just creating a fake personality of mine, that's why i feel like an imposter, because I don't know if they would like the real me and not the one i was always presenting. I'm trying to be myself and the closer i come to my true colours the more comfortable i feel with my own company. I don't say I don't want friends or anything but at this moment i want to be with me and find people who treat me kindly and with love, not people who just tolerate me and they show it . Via, you are so sweet and your videos make me feel better and i am happy seeing you gaining confidence and sharing your life with us 🩷✨🫶
i am so sorry to hear what you’ve been thru love. i truly get what you mean. as a kid, we just wanted to fit in. to do so we often change ourselves and sometimes turn into people pleasers. but that aspect leads us to not even know who we are anymore. it’s exhausting. but i am so happy to hear that you are learning to just accept yourself. because at the end of the day, that is the most important thing. ilysm and thank you so much for being here and sharing your thoughts. sending you a hug ♥️🫶🥹
@@via.ilyouu sending a hug back! Thank you✨🫶
i love this comment sm, you go girl !
@@flamingaish Aww thank you! Have a nice day!! You got this 😁
@@ray325 you too !! 🧡
As a middle schooler who rlly doesn’t have any friends, this video rlly made me happy. It gives us unpopular kids hope that we can become cool like u :)
Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad that my video brought you happiness and hope. Remember, "coolness" is subjective, and what's most important is being true to yourself and finding people who appreciate you for who you are. Keep being kind, confident, and pursuing your interests, and you'll find your own unique path to happiness and friendship.
I didn’t know that there are other people like me, all of this has always been so hard to put in to words. How I always feel like, nothing that the normal people do is meant for me. All I can do is watch the ”normal” ppl do things I’ve always dreamed of and just wish that I could someday experience all that. Like normal life, hanging with friends, dating, none of that belongs to me. I just can’t have any of that. I now finally have friends, but they never see me, and they do things with each other that I wish I could do. But they never invite me.
My dreams are so small and yet I still can’t have any of them come true.
I’m tired of watching other ppl do things I wanna do and just admiring others.
I’m trying so hard to belong, and well still today I was alone at the lunchbreak as usual.
Hey I see you, that must be sad just know you'll be ok, you'll find nice ppl
relatable, its crazy how hard it is to be just "normal", and i also always wondering "when" did i gonna achieve that kind of normal life as my faith getting decreased of how things still same/stuck on my life
:((
I can understand how frustrating and disheartening it can be to feel like you don't fit into what society considers "normal." It's not easy to watch others do things you wish you could do and feel like you're missing out. Remember that your dreams and desires are valid, no matter how big or small they may seem to others. Keep trying to find your place and pursue the things that bring you joy and fulfillment. It may take time, but with resilience and self-belief, you can create a life that feels meaningful and true to you. Don't give up on yourself, and keep searching for a sense of belonging. You deserve to find happiness and connections that are truly fulfilling.
Have been going through this since I was 16, it's terrible and isolating. My last year of high school was horrible, loneliness took a huge toll onto me that I isolated myself and talked few words a day, never had any friend groups in my class and felt out of place at times, couldn't even come up to someone due to my social anxiety. I'm currently in university and oh boy it's even far worse, it's utterly isolating and lonely, even more difficult to find someone to talk to, I'm one year in and have barely talked to anyone and haven't made a single friend. I don't know how to work in groups anymore and too scared to even reply to messages to the point I wait for hours to find the courage to reply. I feel like I am wasting my youth away, when I was told that it will be fun years of my life, which was a big lie.
I wish there was more groups and communities to join and find somebody, but those are unfortunately are very scarce. It's comforting to see that I'm not the only one going through this...
I hope things get better for u same for me i couldn’t find anyone in rl but online there are people don’t let that stop I just searched up things i like and found that other people liked them and joined communities that they had like on tiktok you will find them months, months agooo i found a horror community and I couldn’t be more happy to find people i have things i can talk about with I couldn’t do that in rl so don’t let that stop u
Sorry to hear that, yea the year of school without making any new friend, I know a thing or two about that, I hope the best for you
I feel the same way🙁
I'm really sorry to hear about the difficulties you've been facing. Loneliness can be incredibly tough, and it's understandable that it has taken a toll on you. Remember that you're not alone in this, and there are people who understand and empathize with what you're going through.
Hey how are things going now? It’s been a few months
I wish I had a friend like you. I'm also an introvert and it has been really hard for me to fit in anywhere. It feels like I'm annoying people. They never come talk to me. But I've realized that maybe having 1 real friend is so much better than having an actual friend group.
. Remember that it's not about the quantity of friends, but the quality of the connections you have. Having one true friend who accepts and understands you can be incredibly meaningful and fulfilling. It's about finding someone who appreciates you for who you are, even if that means being more introverted. Don't worry about trying to fit into a friend group; focus on nurturing the relationships that bring you genuine happiness and support. You deserve to have a friend who values and appreciates you just as you are.
I have never resonated with a video more than this one, in the past couple of years especially I've never felt so lonely. I'm someone that connects with others better one on one, groups have never really worked out for me - I'm usually left out of the loop & just can't seem to click in group situations, I always end up keeping to myself. It's just so mentally & emotionally draining to even just have a light convo with someone & need days alone to recharge my social battery. I'm still trying my best to be comfortable in my own company, of course its hard but it gets better :)
Good luck! Keep up the good vibes
Hey Via, this is a long post so bear with me. I went through a very similar situation as you did in terms of isolation, etc... I'm 23, I was very isolated my whole life despite being a mix of introvert and extrovert. I had some "friends" here and there but no one really stuck around. A considerable amount of time was spent where I was questioning my self worth - wondering if I was fundamentally "different" than everyone else which did manifest itself into anger later on. Lots of walking around alone, feeling lost, wanting to join with others, comparing myself to people on social media (I'm guilty of this).
Basically I understand you 100%. There's nothing wrong with us. What it is, is that we were pushed into isolation - and that isolation manifested itself into our growth. The only way to fix that, like you said is to be yourself and just keep meeting with people. That's it.
Hope you found this helpful 🙏
Thank you for sharing your experience. It's unfortunate that you have also faced isolation and questioning of self-worth. It's important to remember that there is nothing inherently wrong with us, and that our experiences of isolation have shaped us into who we are today. Being true to ourselves and continuing to connect with others is indeed a way to overcome these challenges. Your perspective is helpful and serves as a reminder that we are not alone in our struggles. Keep staying true to yourself and seeking connections that bring positivity and fulfillment to your life. Remember, you are deserving of love, acceptance, and belonging.
This is my first comment ever on youtube, with my other comments on internet maybe 3.
So its a huge step for me
Knowing that there are a lot of people feeling the same way made me feel less alone.
Thank you so much you all
(sry for my english)
I loved this video because I resonated so well with it. I’m a quiet, shy, introverted black kid from Boston but went to school in a predominantly white town on the south shore. All my life I felt like “the outcast”. I never really had the hottest things, kept up with trends, or had a solid friend group. Now that I’m in college, the pressure of trying to fit isn’t as present but sometimes it still lingers. It’s weird because I don’t like being lonely and think it would be nice just to have friends I can call or hang out with but at the same time, I love my solitude and I realize being alone is okay.
Social media really encourages that pressure of loneliness and trying to fit in. I found that cutting it out helps especially with self improvement.
I’ve never looked at an entire comment section before and been able to relate so much. Thank you. 🦋
I've seen so many influencers who can get to make me feel smtg but they're relatable at certain points of my life, not like truly relatable, and it feels so comforting to finally find someone who's authentically relatable to me🌹🐺
[im trying so hard not to cry rn]
stoppp you’re gonna make me cry too😭😭🫶🫶🫶ilysmmmmm muah
I'm really glad to hear that you find me authentically relatable. It's important to have someone who understands your experiences and can provide comfort and support. Remember, you're not alone, and there are people out there who can relate to what you're going through. It's okay to seek that connection and find comfort in knowing that others are going through similar situations. Stay strong and keep being true to yourself.
sorry I ruined the 111 😳
In my experience it comes down to if you like who you are as a person, if you do like who you are having no friends isn't as bad as society paints it out to be, it's better to keep your own company than to be in circles who are a toxic and abusive, self respect is more important than having fake people in your life, and the people in your life, how they treat you, shows and tells people whatyou tolerate,what you accept, and how you see yourself. If you're friends with losers who hurt you, you have low confidence, if you would rather be by yourself because of shit people, you have pride in yourself
I'm listening to the preview on loop crying because I feel just like that . I used to be alone having no friends ,and I really struggled In finding a group of people where I didn't feel out of place. Even now I often feel like I have to act in a certain way, or my friends won't want me
but girls r born social n extroverted though
@@jake9854 majority of the people relating to this including the person in the video are only "lonely" bc are unattractive and are too lazy to change it
@@jake9854 did you get hit in the head as a child
@@islixxn this is not the space to make braindead insults like this
@@frulflaly_s it's a fact ok?!
Sometimes I fear that I’m not teenaging correctly. I’m turning 17 in October and all I do is study, go to the gym, draw, game and bike. People my age/from my school are hanging out and stuff.. sometimes I really envy them but this video really reassured me that this is not just a me thing, thank you!!
Same. I'm turning 17 in July and I'm highkey friendless so I just entertain myself within the realm of my room as best as I can, if I get bored of everything I just go for a walk to listen to podcasts/audiobooks/music.
I was friendless ever since I was 13 I think, but only recently did this loneliness thing struck me to the bone because of TH-cam recommending me videos on the topic of loneliness/social awkwardness and such.
Dunno how I'll survive the rest of the summer
your videos are always posted at the right time for me. i’m a junior in college and i just finished an interview for an internship that i feel went horrible . i immediately wanted someone to talk to abt it but i only have two friends and i knew they were probably busy with classes. it really hit me how i rlly don’t have many ppl to turn to and talk to whenever and just when i was abt to feel down i saw you posted this. i rlly relate to everything in this video. i had a friend group in high school but things went bad and i learned im better off friends with people individually. however it does get lonely sometimes since i know even those friends i have individually have their own friend groups. i’ve come to accept that i’d rather feel comfortable with the few relationships i have rather than force myself into ones that feel toxic just for the sake of not being alone
i can totally relate. i’ve been dealing with constant rejections as well the past months. but we have to have hope in ourselves. rejection is redirection. we should never dictate rejections with our self worth which is what i’m trying to learn as well. and yes i relate with you on how being friends with people individually. it can get so lonely sometimes but it’s better than dealing with toxic people. sending you so much love ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️i hope things will go well for you luv 🫶
Tbh I feel so comforted by the fact that I’m not the only one who feels lonely (I’m super introverted)
this really resonates with me, i was homeschooled so i have basically lived my whole life so far without any friends (except some online friends). it's been really hard to deal with- going out and seeing other people my age all hanging out in their own little groups. i just feel like i'll never be able to have that experience. even if i try to hang out with people, i always feel so left out because i'm not as close as everyone else is. i'm basically just an outsider wherever i go. i don't think i'll ever truly "fit in" or have one of those close friend groups. but in 2023, i'm really trying to learn how to be okay with that. this video helps a lot :) thank you for sharing your thoughts. i'm glad i got this in my recommended!! i definitely needed it right now
Omg I relate sooo hard!! I had to switch to online school due to bad mental health, but I truly regret it. I don’t think my life could get any more miserable than it already is now. I have 0 friends, except for online ones, who I still barely talk to. I never see family members because I can’t leave my house due to severe anxiety, which leads to full blown panic attacks. It’s the absolute worst. Whenever I try to explain to someone it’s like they don’t get it at all. I wish I could just go to school and have friends like a normal person, but that’s not me and I’m ashamed of that everyday!
babes i feel u, i was never homeschooled but i never really had friends at all growing up. i was bullied over stupid stuff, like my name, my glasses, my clothes, my interests, etc. so most people never wanted to be associated with me, and even those few who did occasionally talk to me didn't stick around long. trust me, i have never fit in and i already know i never will lol. but over time, i've learned to look at that as a strength. it's a strength to be different and not just 'fit in' with everybody else. being unique is our power, it's not at all a weakness. and don't worry too much about missed experiences, because everyday is a chance to experience something new. it doesn't matter if you're on your own or not, personally i love going on little adventures alone and trying new things by myself. don't let not having friends stop you from living your best life. you can do whatever you want!! you don't have to have friends to have a good time. realizing that is what really made my life easier. i wish you well on your journey, and i hope someday you'll know that being able to thrive on your own is truly a superpower!!
I’m so happy I finally found someone who I can relate to. I’m currently in middle school and usually no one would sit with me so I would just sit alone and go on my phone to make people think I’m busy. Even in my class I wouldn’t have any friends so when it came to group projects I would be by myself or with people I’m not comfortable with. Even though I’m sad that via had gone through what I’m going through right now I’m also really relived because watching people with the same struggles really makes me feel more like a real person and that I’m not alone
Watching your videos and stories and TikToks made me more comfortable with being alone,and not trying to force relations with anyone, thank you so much ❤
i am so happy to hear this. ilysm
Damn gurl 0:35 hits hard because I feel the exact same way, "being shy and introverted, and growing up ugly". So so true, nobody told you how being ugly as a kid / teen impacted your social life and overall self-confidence no matter how significant your glow ups are in your adulthood.
You are not alone. We are all not alone. Our world is full of beautiful, kind and talented people who all feel lonely. It takes tremendous courage to admit that you are lonely. If you reach out, you will find many other lonely people willing to give you the gift of their friendship. Just be yourself. Hello friends all around the world!
Hello friend. I see you.
Really don't know what i did wrong. Even the "weird" kid has their own friends, their own little group, and im just simply there. I feel like im not supposed to belong in here
ReAal
I know exactly where you're coming from! At 9 years old I went to an all white school (I'm Filipina) and felt so ugly. Kids would comment negativities about my nose, my huge lips, eyes, and color. They literally called me ugly N...word. I was filled with self loathing. This went on for a few years until I moved away. Took me decades to heal myself through self-help books. Now that I'm 50, I've learned to embrace my uniqueness. Somewhere along the way, the features I once hated about myself are now considered attractive! Go figure! What I'm trying to say is embrace your uniqueness. Act confident even if you're not. You'll notice people will gravitate your way. Most important thing you can do is self love. Self acceptance will set you free from wanting validation from others. As you get older, validations from others doesn't matter as much. By the way, you are beautiful! Keep telling yourself that!
ME!!! I KNOW EXACTLY HOW U FEEL IM FILIPINA/ASIAN IN A PREDOMINATELY WHITE SCHOOL.
I feel this so much. I'm 26 now. I've always been introverted and shy, it's difficult for me to strike up and maintain conversations. The thing is, I do usually have friend groups and I even have a bestfriend. Despite that, I just know I'm not a priority in anyone's life, I know our values etc don't exactly match. But since I'm older I have noticed that it's one in a million that you'll find someone that matches you and your values 100% and most people just make sacrifices and learn to like others despite the differences. Anyhow, point is I also do feel lonely that my state of relationships are this way. And I genuinely feel like it will always be like this because I know myself.
It feels so comforting knowing that I’m not going through this alone but at the same time it makes me super sad that so many people can relate with this and are going through the same thing 😔
We have to normalize that some of us are really struggling to make real connections. The society stigmatizes loners too much and makes us think it's a personal problem but there are many factors that contribute to a person being almost or actually friendless, such as they enjoying solitude, friends moving away or growing apart for future pursuit, or just discovery of incompatibility to certain aspects with current friends.
I almost broke up with my only friend group the beginning of this year and now still trying to form a new friend group. But my ex friends have spread rumors about me within our bigger mutual circle and that definitely has affected how some perceive my character. Now I only have 3 friends i talk to individually. Still trying 😅
Wow! I could relate to so many aspects you shared. Struggling with the sense of belonging somewhere just gets worse due to social anxiety :'(
Anyone who's reading this rn know that you're not alone. There are so many of us who have similar stories. You never walk alone 🫂
Do you want to be friends?
A video has never described my life so well. I have a habit of not being able to maintain friendships just bcuz idrk how to show affection or just not enough energy to match them. And this has led me to being alone pretty much a lot of the time. Your video really points out all the things I couldn’t admit to myself a few months ago. But recently, from my experience, I’ve really came close to God by reading the Bible and praying and I realized I don’t feel so lonely anymore. It made me realize how I can’t force to belong somewhere just as you said in the video. Instead, I’m just going with the flow that God is taking me to and trying to better myself by being productive and not dwelling on how lonely i may seem. I also want everybody to know that there IS a God watching all of us and will be with us through the ends of the earth.
This video speaks to my soul, literally teared up. I'm in my second year of uni and completely let go of the idea of fitting in. I didn't have any real friends in high school, I lost my friend group that already made me feel trapped so I don't really care about them but it still hurts that I'm all by myself in a city far away from my family. I'm keeping myself occupied, training every day, trying to learn language, basically anything to avoid the fact that I'm lonely. It's almost like I've given up the idea that I'm compatible with people, although on the internet I see many like minded people. Seeing that other people feel similarly to me gives me hope that my life has the potential to change.
Uff that sounds tough.
And im sure you can find people you relate to in person as well, you sound like like a great person
I grew up living with my grandparents and mom and her siblings. As a 29 year old now, I relate most to people my parents age or older. I was an only child but I blended in almost like a sibling to my mom and her siblings? Anyway now I see it as such a blessing. I adore my grandparents, and I am similar to them and I don’t fit in.
i’m literally gonna cry because this finally explains what i’ve been going through my entire life and i feel relieved that other people could relate with me. being a hijabi girl in america is not the easiest, especially in highschool. it doesn’t help that i go to a predominantly white school. but everybody i know even the other muslim kids have their own friend groups. they’re social, they’re fun, they’re cool. i’m a sophomore in highschool and this entire year i’ve been friend group hopping. i also know individual people like i say hi to them in the halls and i talk to them in class but they don’t reciprocate the same energy i give them so this entire school year i’ve been hoping to find “the right ones.” a few days ago i realized i don’t need to find the right ones. i don’t need to have friends. if these people really actually cared about me and gave a damn about me, they would come up to me and say hi. yet none of them do. i’m not gonna chase after them like i have been for the past two years. starting junior year in the fall, im doing me. i’ll make friends but i won’t be reliant on them bc i’m not gonna risk getting my heart broken like i have been with the last 5 friend groups i’ve been in.
Thank you for making this video. Truly amazed by the comment section! Makes me feel less lonely so that you everyone ! Personally, I have grown up shy and introverted with very strict parents. Although I was not considered "ugly", I have always felt that it was hard for me to form meaningful friendships. I am slightly awkward and nervous in social settings and I hated myself for it. Just the other day I hung out with my closest coworkers and felt so out of place. The only thing that went through my mind were things like " I just wanna go home and be with my dog" or" If I drink more i wont feel time go by"... It is so exhausting yet I still crave for a close bond with someone. I also despise social or group events... I am much better hanging out with someone one on one. What I can say is take the time to get to know yourselves and what your boundaries are and if people cannot respect them , then let them go. If you keep hanging out with such individuals you will simply build up resentment (aka negative energy) inside! Learn to accept yourself and determine your strengths. Practice self- validation ; what I have started doing is writing down one thing that I did that I am proud of during my day in my journal before bed every night. You will in time acknowledge yourself more and more and will n:)
i have never related to someone so much! oh my goodness i’m so glad i’m not the only person that feels like this
I used to be like this too, I think I have an undiagnosed neurodivergent condition, when I was in middle school other kids would call me weird and bully me. I had (and still have to some degree) the lowest self esteem imaginable, I couldn't look in the mirror even when I had to brush my hair. The only way I could stand out was to make a fool out of myself, so that's what I was doing to get some attention even if it was at the cost of my dignity.
Highschool I was very depressed, didn't talk to anyone, managed to make like 1 or 2 friends. But at 17 something clicked, it was as if I had enough of it and wanted some change. I knew that people wouldn't approach me, so I went out of my comfort zone and started talking to new people, being as extroverted as possible, and it worked. I developed my sense of humor and kindness in the years prior, so making friends was easy. I now have tons of friends, and my close inner circle is around 5 people besides me. I can easily go talk to somebody, and I don't take it personally anymore. Talking to my friends made me realize that a lot of people just don't take initiative, they may see someone and think they're very cool but they still won't approach that person. Out of the dozens of people I know I'm the only one who does it, so it made me think that it's not actually me who was at fault. I wasn't too ugly, too lame, too whatever. It's just that people lack initiative and are afraid of approaching first.
So don't take it personally, there's nothing wrong with you, and I'm well aware I'm a happy case that was able to change. I still suffer from depression, and I highly suggest getting therapy if possible. If not keep in mind it's not YOU that makes people not approach you, it's other people not taking initiative to do so. I assure you there's been lots of people in your life that you met who thought you were cool af and never approached. And normal is subjective, my close friends are also neurodivergent, and for us this is the normal. Just find your normal, don't try to be something you're not, I assure you there's people just like you who you'd get along with greatly.
You belong to this beautiful community you created with your videos. 💞Watching your videos made me realize that I'm not alone, that there are so many people who share the same feeling with me. Thank you for your efforts!
this is so sweet. thank you for saying this. it means a lot 🩷🩷🩷ilysmmm
I’ve had social anxiety most of my life yet I was always fortunate to have friends around in some way. People kept wanting to “adopt” me I guess. But I never felt like I truly belonged in groups. It always felt like my friends didn’t get me and would often say so.
As I gotten older and worked on lowering my social anxiety, I knew exactly what to do to fit in different groups. And my long time friends and I came to understand each other a lot better. That said I still always felt a bit different.
It’s like everyone interests and way of thinking was still fundamentally different. Even though I can appear to be like everyone else at a party and my friends started to act more like me, it still didn’t feel quite the same.
That’s when I realized I feel that this is something internal I’m always gonna feel to some degree. And yea I’m always going to be a bit different and now I think that’s great. Fitting in at parties or with friend groups is a nice feeling. But it is not as fulfilling as you think if you don’t genuinely love the people you’re with. So just be you and focus on the people you know are good for you. They dont have to get you, they just have to care and be willing to try.
It feels a little better to know that i am not the only one who deals with loneliness or just feeling lonely. This video describes my situation perfectly in every second
I'm glad to hear that the video resonated with you and made you feel less alone. Loneliness is a common experience that many people face, and it's important to remember that you're not alone in your struggles. By sharing our stories and connecting with others who understand, we can find comfort and support. Stay strong and continue to reach out and seek connections that bring you joy and fulfillment. You deserve to feel seen, heard, and understood.
watching this felt so comforting, finally knowing I wasn't alone in this type of problem 🥹
I love how you perfectly worded everything. You literally said everything that I wish I could scream out to the world. I feel so seen and I’m glad that I’m not alone in this lonely journey.
Sometimes i isolate myself people around me because its comfort and ı realized when i isaolate myself too much i cant talk people “normal”. I judging myself because i cant feel and act “normal”. And its keep repeating it. Only way to get out this cicycle is accepting yourself and accepting anxiety is part of me, not me.
I'm so happy I found your channel. I'm a uni student far from home and I feel so lonely sometimes... The people around me (specifically my roomies) are not so caring... So I'm happy I found someone whom I understand where she's coming from ♥️🙂
but girls r born social n extroverted though
@@jake9854 Not my roomies 😂
This comment section is all what i needed. Whatever you said resonated so strongly with me. I have always been mostly on my own, never really having friends group to call my own or fall back on. I'm my own person. It gets lonely sometimes especially when i see others having the life i thought that im ought to have. But yes who tf cares about fitting in. Ive been feeling like an imposter, never really truly belonging anywhere. I didn't have anyone to confide in and or someone who'd understand my feelings. Well now im 22 and I don't wanna get stuck in this vicious cycle anymore. Thank you for this. Sending love to everyone.
My experiences in high school and college were a lot like yours, but reversed. I had a friend group in high school that I didn't feel like I belonged in because they were all wrapped up in their own relationship drama, but in college I didn't regularly hang out with anyone. That feeling of not belonging really sticks with you - for most of my twenties I held on to this belief that everybody else only tolerated me out of obligation or politeness, and that if I did something "wrong" or stood out too much then they would realize that I didn't belong and hate me or reject me.
I still struggle with being afraid to express myself or speak my mind; I got so used to being quiet and not speaking that it became my identity.
being held back by anxiety is the worst, sometimes i'd like to approach someone and maybe be friends but those thoughts pop up about what could go wrong, and it feels bad that the person in question could be going through loneliness and axniety too which could have been helped if i werent so anxious.
(on a brighter note, i feel proud that i could recognize some of the places that you showed in the video)
personally i also find having individual friends so much better for myself overall. i have 3 friends from my class that i suppose i could consider a mini friend group, and even with just the few of us i find it much more complicated than my individual friends.. i often feel left out because they are part of a much larger friend group outside of school that has a LOT of drama, and while i definitely dont wanna be part of the drama, they often talk about their other friends around me and it makes me feel almost lonely around them. but it also makes me feel so grateful for my friends that i can just be alone and comfortable with, and not feel pressured as i would in a group
yes i totally get what you mean! getting into friend group drama can be so exhausting and complicated. maybe we haven’t found the right friend groups but being friends with individuals is so much easier in my opinion.
you don't know how relieving it is to have someone finally verbalize what i've been feeling throughout 4 years of high school
its hard for me to even get close to people because i subconsciously sacrifice my own feelings and needs for the sake of fitting in, and it left me with no close friends that i can truly depend on, and ultimately an unfulfilling high school experience. now that im going into college, im so terrified of repeating this pattern of changing myself for others. im a very extroverted and energetic person that relies a lot on other people and other external things to make me happy, but i'm coming to a stage where i need to find peace with and within myself. thank you for helping me in this huge step of realization.
please please make these type of videos often -when you have time ofc♡- your videos are really healing for me. i feel connected what you've gone through in every videos??! i can relate so bad! idk how to describe it my eng is not good 😭 but your channel is like a therapy for me, im glad i found about your channel!!! thank you thank you 🩷
yes yes i will ilysmmm
i really have to thank you for making videos like this. i spent so many years thinking i was completely alone in this, like i was the only idiot in the world who just couldnt make friends or talk to people. it’s comforting to hear you speak and read the comments and know that this is, to an extent, normal. that its okay to not be perfect in social situations
you explained my life of 3 years in just 8 min ,this made me so relatable this is the first video i am watching of your channle thx
When you're both shy and introvert it's really hard to be in a group of people and its more comfortable to be alone eventho it can be awkward sometimes. I really enjoyed being alone at home but when going outside sometimes I do wish I have 1 or 2 friend to hang out with cause I have anxiety in public & I don't want to stand out.
Everything you said is exactly what I’ve been feeling/experiencing all my life.
I can relate a lot. Especially in school seeing everyone have a bunch of friends makes you feel like there's something wrong with you when in reality all those ''popular'' kids aren't even being themselves or like each other but settle because they want to liked so bad. As I grow older realize how nice being alone actually is. It is peaceful and you don't have that pressure of feeling like you have to be entertaining or constantly doing something. In the same bubble where I want to meet people who have the same drive and mindset for life but not feeling like I have to go out of my way and put myself in situations like parties or random things like that just to feel included. The right genuine people will come. The sooner we realize everyone is in their head worrying about themselves and not others anxiety will diminish.
When will those right genuine ppl come?
I relate with peoples' comments and experiences about feeling so alone all the time. Every day, I feel "not normal." When I see normal people joking around with their friends, when I see my friends interacting with other people as if everyone knows each other and everyone's friends except me... the feeling is sometimes unbearable.
For everyone here, who doesn't feel like they don't belong - stay strong. I know it's cliche but I mean it. I hope that these experienes don't get you down and define you, because you and I both know they don't. I hope that one day, you will not feel lonely and you can smile and laugh and have the happiness that you deserve. Please just stay strong with the hope of this happening.
This video made me feel less alone. I'm somewhat of an introvert-extrovert too. But really felt like you described my life here.
I used to walk around aimlessly or hide in a bathroom stall during lunch in high school. Grew up so shy and anxious and still am. Even in college I have long spurts of keeping to myself before I reach out to people. It's a challenging journey but as long as I build my confidence and be gentle with myself, I think I'll turn out alright :)
I have watched your video twice, bc sometimes I feel lonely in my own room, which I’m supposed to feel alone, but not lonely. I’m an ambivert I love talking to people, but I also like my own space. Ty for telling me ur story.
This is so me , i am literally going through what you've felt , i am studying in last year of high school in Belgium and i have no friends, because i was born in nepal and they were born here , so i dont fit in , your video is really helpful and i am shocked that we people in the comments and you have so many things in common.
Now what i do is just be in comfy space and accept my loneliness, and nowadays its less painful than before
I was literally having a terrible day today and then you just popped in my screen I’m so glad, I felt alone my entire life, doesn’t matter how many people I’m surrounded by that feeling never goes away. These vid brought a little relieve from my daily struggles, thank you so much ❤️
it's so comforting to know that so many other people feel this way
The "friend group" thing is so relatable… I used to have an all girls friend group when I was in school and it was the best time of my life - but there was also the drama and that was part of the reason why it ended. Now I‘m in college and I don‘t have a friend group anymore. It does get lonely tbh and I get jealous of people who have that :( I feel like I‘ve gotten even more picky about the people I befriend. Also, I genuinely enjoy my own company. I feel like ever since I left school and started college, the "weird" side of me has been showing more and more. I just care less about what people think. In school I was so self conscious about literally everything all the time. But I also fit in better back then. Because I tried harder I guess. Idk. Just felt like dumping this here :,) Thanks for the video anyways!!
I started entertaining that I’m neurodivergent, high functioning autistic. Would explain a lot for me, but yea this video speaks nothing but facts.
I also know though I’m “different”, I also hold aspects\views that I wish humanity held. There’s something unique about me,that makes not fitting in worth it at times. It’s lonely at times, but I learned to love my a attributes and see my strengths and advantages.
Your videos are so relatable, I'm actually autistic, and I relate so bad when you talk about trying to fit in and also trying to be fine by yourself and be independent but also how it gets lonely sometimes... I really agree with your advice in the end, just be yourself bc it's still better to not have friends than to force yourself to be something you aren't in order to have company
To be honest, i don't really like socializing but i feel the need to make some friends. Because i feel embarassed sitting myself alone; like you said, to not feel like a loser. I envy that people who are so comfortable with sitting only by theirself.
You may not know how I love your videos and the things you share with us, I feel like I'm not alone here, I needed this, it's healing
this is so sweet ilysmm muah 🫶🫶💐
My whole life I've struggled to make and keep friends, I've never really had a friend group. Last year people from my highschool aranged this meeting so we could get to know eachother better .We went to this park and I just sat down next to a tree, watching kids talk, but I had no idea how to do that, I was too scared. It is comforting to know that I'm not the only one who's felt this way
Feeling lonely and craving wanting to be in a friend group, but then when you find a group, you’ve been so socially isolated that it’s hard for you to remember how to socialize again is something I deal with a lot.
i can’t express how much your videos have helped me 😢you’re a great person Via! Thank u :) ❤
this is soooo relatable, it's so comforting, thank you for being vulnerable on the internet, you have no idea how much your videos helps me🥰🥰
i've always felt like an outcast especially when i turned 13, then i amplified my isolation during the covid years and my mental health got sm worse not only because of my own mistakes (locking myself up emotionally and physically, being an edgy angry kid at the world), but stressful external factors like trying to get into uni (i relate to what you said in your other vid about growing up ugly, having academia as your only goal and focus and not caring about anything else, being a 1st gen etc), family...
it's been almost a year since i've been actively trying to get better physically and mentally after that period of life ended (highschool), and now im done with my 1st year of uni and i definitely see improvements, even though i have setbacks i dont give up and i keep trying. i dont care anymore if im an outcast, i accept myself fully and unapologetically. i dont have a friendgroup and im kinda a loner but it's fine, nobody cares so i just do what makes me happy and keeps my soul and inner-child at peace, i mind my business and do what works for ME not what others do ;)
damn im rambling, im done now haha
as a introvert guy 25 having a same issues too , i often feel lonely and isolated when dont have many friends and no body call u or text u or ask to go out or play games together either male or female friends. Even right now in university still the same even i already 25 but trying my best to be happy and dont feel lonely even if it hurts a lot,
watching this makes me realise i’m not the only one going through this, sending you love xxx
I'm so glad to hear that others feel the same way as me! Always felt so alone so watching your videos and reading the comments makes me feel a little better about myself, thank you ♥️♥️♥️
Sis Thank Youu so much for posting. There are many people who really need to hear this. The moment i hear you, i felt like you are literally talking about me. You expressed yourself so clearly that i can resonate with each and every word you said. I seriously cried watching your video. My entire life i have felt exactly what you are felt. thank you for making this video.
Wow, this video has opened my eyes. I've been struggling a lot in my teenage years and early adulthood with this same situation. I thought I just had low self esteem in the past but even when I felt good about myself I wouldn't ever want to put myself out there. Like I wouldn't really comment on things online or in person cause I felt so different or like my opinion didn't matter, like I was some alien. I used to be alone a lot too because of it. I didn't really pin point what it was until I watched this.
Recently its been kinda tough and I was also trying to convinve myself that I dont need anyone but IT HURTS a lot. I guess my class teacher noticed that and brought it up to my parents which makes me feel even more of a loser now but seeing your video and these amazing comments has kinda made me feel a lil bit better. I just wish we all could someday meet we could create the most fun friendgroup ever ❤
Your videos are so comforting because it really feels relatable, and also i love watching these lil « vlogs » while listening to your voice in the background. Tysm for this 🫶
aweee this makes me so happy to hear! and yesss i thought making these journal entries in a more visual way is more fun 🤍
i'm so glad i found this video, it saved from having a depressive episode. knowing that i am not alone in feeling this way really comforted me.