Thank you for all the birthday wishes last week! I clearly leaned into my candle obsession in this video 😅 so many candles lol winter always gets me feeling cozy and wanting to create a comforting space and welcome in the light. Take care ❤
Love the candles and the advent calendars ♥️ your videos bring a sense of coziness to my life that I myself haven't been able to cultivate yet. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective on friendships and belonging, I feel like a lot of us need to just remember there are different ways to find connection and that it's okay to be on your own unique path.
I have often felt like I don't belong anywhere with anyone, except in my imagination lands..., but here, on this channel I have discovered that there are more people who haven't felt that they belong, so now we can feel that we belong ... Thank you for allowing yourself to rethink and renew your relationship with your videos! It is healthy! A late happy birthday to you, dear Paola!!
There's a lot of people in the world that do not choose to be alone, and sometimes once you are, it can be so incredibly difficult to encourage yourself to seek company even if you are lonely. So no, it isn't selfish at all. Some people just prefer a quiet life in this increasingly aggressive and loud ratrace of a world. Having the mindset that you always must have company, or be in a relationship can make you feel less of a person or like you haven't 'achieved'. It's an unnecessary social pressure. Some people thrive with company, but for others it can be very draining. We aren't 'created' for any purpose other than to experience life, in whatever capacity that is right for that person.
So true. In groups, I am invisible anyway, but the energy around me is so loud and fatiguing. Still, there is some loneliness to being alone. For once it would be grand to have someone understand....
@@jjjackson5183 Yes, loneliness and being alone can co-exist. But I find myself even more lonely when I'm surrounded by people who don't get me and sticking to them, because I 'should' have a (large) group of friends.
I don't have a single friend, I don't consider even my family members as my friends. . But I am ok with no friends. I love myself very much and I am my own friend ❤
I can actually pinpoint the times in my life when I've had no friends , and let me tell you something , id rather be alone than have the wrong friends in life.
Surprisingly, the points in my life where I have been the happiest were when I had close to no or a small circle of friends. I could focus on myself and not other people’s drama. It was very peaceful.
There is nothing called as wrong friends as such broski. It's self contradicting. Probably they were just some bunch of people who came into your life to teach you what not to be friends with and how not to live your life. I also have had quite similar experience. Sometimes finding people outside turns out to be a total disappointment. But just be in terms with that, accept and move forward without any resistance.
As a child I remember daydreaming about finding a friend just as quiet and introspective as myself. Someone who would also connect with me on a deep and peaceful level.
This was so comforting. I’ve always been called “the quiet one,” and I’ve felt out of place at school. It’s like any of the friendships I’ve had had withered away. I’m almost 30 and still feel like I haven’t found “my people.” I’m trying to be patient and to just go towards what brings me joy, even if I am doing most things alone.
Literally same. I’ll be 29 next year and I always wonder if I’ll ever find my tribe. & It seems harder to find the older you get. But I also try doing hobbies & find that focusing on my own happiness & growth brings me so much peace. I’m sure I’ll make that connection somewhere along the way :)
Absolutely nothing wrong with that Embrace your introverted nature I remember reading a quote by a famous pianist (Mitsuko Uchida) once who said that she ‘finds socialising tedious’ And the comfort I derived from that I can not begin to tell you It is perfectly ok to enjoy one’s solitude, to be more comfortable alone or in v small intimate settings Embrace it and do what makes you feel good! Nothing wrong with you at all!!!
Maybe you will never find this tribe of yours or your people. But maybe it's because you are not of this world but something else. I think this sometimes earth is not our home but heaven is which brings me comfort. If you ever need a friend or someone to talk to I am also alone with autism and people have hurt me so much because of this so now I am shutting myself away from it all.
I’m 55 and female and have lived a solitary existence for most of my adult life. I haven’t had a lot of friends and those I have had have used and taken advantage of me whereby now I don’t bother anymore. I don’t live this way by choice, but when you have lived in my shoes perhaps you would understand. I would rather be a lone wolf than be surrounded by fake and shallow people who take advantage of your situation. I am also an introvert but again not through choice. I count my partner and my daughter as my best friends. Unfortunately, society judges people like me where I’m considered weird and different. In my opinion, it’s society who has the problem in not being accepting. I don’t feel as though I’m hurting anyone being a solitary person, nor is it stopping others getting on with their lives. I’ve learned the only one you can count on and trust is yourself.
I’m losing my sight til i have surgery..I have lost family that can’t deal with it..I can’t drive anymore..I miss sewing,creating,painting and looking at my home..but I have my husband of 40 years..thank God everyday for him..I love these videos🥰Becca M
And takes time and effort to maintain. Sometimes you don’t feel necessarily “recharged”, conversations turn repetitive or you engage in behaviors that are not in your best interest (talk about other people, stay up late, drink).
Im glad you acknowledged this , social media tends to glorify friendships a lot and it makes you feel like scum when you don't have the same things to share.
@@anacorona2527 For me too many conversations feel one way. You’re talked at vs with. IMHO bc so many are suffering and lonely they’ll overshare too soon too often. I try to be aware we all have issues to deal with. Time and place. If I walk away knowing some more about the other person I feel like I actually listened. Did I contribute? I do own I’m very private and dont trust easy so a bit hard to get close to. I’m 55 and don’t have close trusted friends but some was by choice. My husb is the opposite and agrees with this video. Peace and health.
Oh, Paola, this video really hit home for me. I am 48 and have felt much the same all my life and am content to only have couple of close friends, most of whom are of an older generation. I have seeked out a quiet life in the woods as well, working with plants and nature and am happy to surround myself with animals companions and focus on my home life. It took me decades to realize there was nothing wrong with me, I'm just an introvert and highly sensitive person. Much Love ❤️
I feel the same way. I am never happier than I when I am all alone in my little cabin in the woods. People think I am an extrovert because I am a public speaker who loves to share my historical research with interested others, and I do enjoy meeting new people and going to new places, but I also find it exhausting and am glad to get away from it. It's good to hear from others who aren't ashamed to say they prefer to be alone. Why are we taught that being alone means being lonely?
Wow you and I are so much alike. I'm 46. I am just learning about myself that there's nothing wrong with me, this is the only kind of life that makes me happy.
Oh, Paola, me too! I'm 77, retired from art licensing (which was an at-home job), and I also had a needlework and framing shop years ago, as well as doing many art and craft shows. When I had my shop and when my husband and I did shows, it was so much easier to meet people. I have friends, but only a couple of very close ones, plus a dear friend from across the country who is a kindred spirit and we both wish we lived closer to one another. I'm alone much of the time now, I still work at designing needlework, so I am busy and fulfilled. But now it is harder to meet friends in my community, as I also have a lot of physical issues that make it difficult for me to get around. I know people because we have lived here for almost 30 years, but given my circumstances, I'm glad I have my designing since I don't get out much. You are so blessed to also have your art and all of the creative things you do. Believe me, they will sustain you throughout your life. They are such gifts to cherish. Mine have gotten me through cancer, as well as my husband's passing a little over 2 years ago. I too am an introvert who loves people, but my mind is like a sponge and having too much activity can be draining for me, resulting in sleeplessness. Finding other kindred spirits is truly a blessing, although a rare one. I so enjoy your videos. Your gentle way of approaching life and sharing it with us is so NEEDED today. Your videos are a respite from the banality of what's "out there" on offer today. Keep on keeping on because you and your creative spirit are appreciated. Diane
This is so relatable. I used to try so hard to have friends just to avoid loneliness. Now I see I was lonelier when I tried to fit into groups I didn't belong in.
I love it that all of us introverts can come to this channel and be “alone together”!!! ❤️🥰 It is so peaceful and quiet here....being understood and accepted...you put such beautiful words to how we feel...thank you and bless you Paola...you are such a gift!☺️❤️
Alone, together. Nice! I know a wonderful couple that shared they “don’t get out much/don’t socialize much”. I suggested we start a “social” group…..and never meet. HA! We all had a good laugh! 🕊
To me, being alone - not lonely - is the purest form of being in touch with reality and life. When I'm alone, I feel like I'm truly living my life; and anything else I do, is for making these alone times more high quality and longer.
One of my favorite quotes that has always stuck with me has been "As we grow older, we realize it's less important to have lots of friends and more important to have real friends."
Being alone is not as bad as others think, being alone allows you to do your own thing, learn new things and reach new heights in your spiritual growth.
Just wanted to say that scrolling through these comments is like looking at one beautiful flower after another. You are a group of amazing souls. Thank you for sharing your stories. I feel less alone tonight.
I'm a shy, HSP introvert who always struggled to make and keep friends and always felt that no one understood me. I love being alone. It is nice to see more people like me. It seems there are more introverts than we think. Cheers to all my fellow introverts. Thanks for this lovely video.
I’d far rather spend time creating art or carving wood. In my 81 years I’ve had many acquaintances, but few that I’d call friends. I find true joy in solitude. You’re certainly not alone Paola. While we may not be friends, there are more than a million of us who enjoy our visits with you! Gracias🙏🏼
It always feels good to hear that others feel the same way. Especially when we're young we often tend to think that we have to adhere to societal standards, that we have to go clubbing and partying because that's what you do in your 20s. I caught myself telling someone once: "I'm so glad I'm past 30 now, now I don't have to pretend to like clubbing anymore." People will often ask me why I go hiking in the woods by myself and think that I must be very lonely when in reality, this is when I am most at peace. Channels like yours are an important contribution to reaching people and showing them that there are more people like us out there who just enjoy other things in life and that this is perfectly okay. Sending much love 💕
I am 53yrs old. Moved to a small town in southeast Texas. I can relate to so much of what you are saying. I dont have any friends still after living here for 10-1/2yrs. Nobody has time for deep relationship. People talk about transparency and they are anything but transparent. Society says you need a tribe yet I dont have one and I have felt like there is something wrong with me because I do not want one nor desire one. I have gone to events and have felt very alone in a room full of people. I do not have time for these surface level relationships that most people have the time for. I would rather be alone. I am ok with it. In this stage of my life. I have embraced it. My husband is my best friend and I am grateful for him. The Lord is my strength. He is always with me and I am never alone.
Omg you have described my life down to a T! I'm 34 and live in the U.K. Ive felt this way since I was 15 years old. I'm always alone, no matter where life takes me. I tried my best to have a fun happy life, but the whole of my 20's where filled with loneliness, sadness and bad company literally wherever I went. I learnt and understood my fate and into my 30's I've learnt to embrace being alone whether I like it or not.
I thought that is something wrong with me... Thank you for sharing your eksperience. I know whatbare you talking about. Sometimes its dificult, to be honest...Greetings:)
My cat Imogene is my solid rock. No matter the struggles I'm going through, even in the hardest times when friends and family feel distant and the relationships strained, my little kitty is there for me. I think human friends are important, but an animal friend who's always there for you is a priceless gift.
Paola, this video made me cry. I am 25 and very introverted. Despite that, most of my childhood I had a lot of friends and the fondest memories playing and creating fantasy worlds with others. But when I became a teen and into my early 20, while everyone around me was partying and clubbing, I struggled to make friends because that wasn't who I was. From 18 to 24 I was very depressed, wondering what was wrong with me and how I could get that sense of childhood camaraderie back. Thank you for this lovely video that shows how there are beautiful souls out there who also value quality over quantity and who value being alone. Today, I am comfortable with myself and I consider my pets, partner, family, and 2 others my closest friends and I am quite content. Books are also great friends :)
Hello ! I love your comment, it really describes what I exactly feel. I am a 19 years old university student who is currently living in the campus dorm and I struggle with making friends because I am not the type to just hang out, I crave something deeper. A connection that lasts a life time maybe, I know that sounds so hard to find yet I can’t stop myself from yearning. I am also a introvert who likes to spend her time in quiet and peace preferably in nature. Growing up I had lots of friends and was a very social child but all my friendships were very superficial, couldn’t really make a connection with anyone. I never felt alone by myself until I stated university 2 months ago, I see people going out and clubbing yet I cant bring myself to enjoy that no matter how hard I try. I see people hanging with their friends or their partners and it makes me question myself whether there is something wrong with me. I don’t like small talk or superficial conversations, I want a friend and a partner where I could truly open myself up and expect the same in return yet I struggle a lot these days. I am also struggling with mental illness issues since I was 14 and they don’t really help my situation as well. I truly don’t know what to do, I tried to be more like everyone else yet I don’t feel comfortable when I pretend. Your comment made me think maybe there is a hope for me. Would you mind sharing your thoughts on this matter, I really would like your opinions and advices on this matter. Thank you so much. I wish you a beautiful day ! ☺️
Tears came running my cheeks reading your comment. I am 30 and i really understand your words and feel them very close to my own experience. I had lot of friends but the years passed and i struggle to maintain friendships or find people that I can connect with. So books have been my friends and two close friends that live in a different city. But it's good to see we are not "alone" in our way of life. Thank you 🙏🌼
All the things you write about are very close to my heart. I'm almost 50 and it's only now that I've realised what friendship and close people are all about. It's taken a complete change of environment. Only now I realise that those who I thought were friends were not...I also realise that you can't be close to many people...if you are close to 2-3 people, you are very lucky.
There is a reason so many of us gravitate to your channel. You bring hope, peace and gratitude to this unsettling world. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
I am mostly friendless, the exception being the constant companionship of my cat. I consider all of you fellow viewers and Paola as friendly spirits that touch mine. ❤
I can SO relate to the love and companionship of your cat… I too had a special cat who lived 18.5 years; I threw Sweet 16 birthday 🎉 party for him, much to my husb & daughter’s amusement! He’s been in Cat Heaven for many years but I still hang his collar on my Christmas tree 🎄
I was surrounded by friends growing up. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized most people suck. And the genuine ones tend to be alone and not want attention from others. I realized there was power to being alone - finding a sense of personal identity, more time to build skills, solitude brings creativity, etc.
I love this video. I don't call myself introverted. I call myself inward, contemplative and reflective. I don''t call myself anti-social. I call myself deeply social, because i love a good conversation with another person but not aimless chitchat at a party, so much. LIke-minded souls and kindred-spirits are gifts along the way, whom i treasure dearly.
Your video is beautiful! I'm 69 and don't have friends. Acquaintances, maybe. I love animals, books and art. I cherish being alone. I provide positive behavior support to children who have suffered trauma and struggle in school. I live in a small coastal village where there is way too much gossip. Being alone is amazing. Thank you for your videos.
I am in my 40's and alone also with no true friends. I was an artist and sold my art all over the world including my self published books but I realize now nothing is more cherished than being able to be alone and content with one self as I get closer to the earth through helping it with feeding the animals and planting trees and native plants I find solace through this and comfort in God and my faith. I live on an Island and yet I wish to travel far away one day. If you ever need a friend please reach out to me but I wish you all the best in life.
I enjoy being alone. I like socializing but being alone is the best time. People have hurt me along the way and when I try to have a friendship it all happen again. Then, I realize that being alone is the best choice even thought some people see me as weird, depressed, antisocial, etc...they judge without knowing the reasons why I prefer to be alone ..
I , too, have been hurt by people in my life , but then I shifted my perspective and spent time with myself, with my sweet solitude and now i have a brand new perspective of finding and tracing my own kindred spirits, my own tribe ... I wish you all the best ahead in your journey and may you find your kindred spirits:")
❤At the age of 45, after going through very critical moments, choosing your journey well and staying away from toxic people who do not share your good intentions towards nature is essential. I chose to live in a world I created. I talked so much that I couldn't hear myself; Today, I talk less, I have almost no friends to trust. but I trust myself! in my choices! and I know I'm not alone. I'm a great person for myself.
I was emotionally neglected as a child, so it has taken me a long time to figure out who I am and realize that there is nothing "wrong" with me, and it is still a continuing journey (at 30 years old), so videos such as yours are so encouraging and beautiful. Thank you!
Im 29! And feel the exact same way I didnt realise till about a year ago that i was an introvert , I always just thought there's something wrong with me not wanting to spend time with people 24/7
You are blessed to have realised this fairly early in life. I am 57 and carried this burden on my back for a very, very long time, but finally the light came on and it changed everything for me. Everything.
I'm one of those quiet people on the Internet that rarely talk to anyone here but recently my therapist told me that I am a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and now everything that made me that "broken" person makes so much sense and I'm just so happy to share it with this channel's community as I think that there are so many more fellows like me here. This channel of yours it's a safe space for me to feel understood and I love to hear your thoughts on being sensitive during my new journey to know more about myself. Thank you so much Paola!!❤❤❤
I relate 100%! I used to think that everything I feel was the result of trauma that I had to heal, until I started reading about HSPs. It blew my mind to realize that there's nothing wrong with me; I just naturally experience life a bit differently than many others. Love and support from one HSP to another!
@@autumnidle5412 I had to wait until I was over 70 to make this discovery.- since then my life had become better and better. I feel we are so fortunate to know what sort of people we are. I love and admire Paolo so much for having the courage to share her HSP reality with a TH-cam audience. She's an inspiration. Also as a huge change agent without trying to be that.
You just described my entire life...introverted, needing deep connections, animals and plants give me more connection than humans, feeling more at home in nature than most other areas, in my golden years and haven't met my people. Alone time is healing ☺
I agree with most of the things you say here: Good friends are irreplaceable. Sometimes, it takes a long time and a lot of failures to find true friends. Do not forget, good ones always show up along the way.
This video was so needed for me today. Being introverted while also craving social connection is both wonderful and difficult. Some days I worry I am not enough, but I am. And so are you and all of the lovelies in the comments here. ♥
It's interesting- that thing about social connection & being introverted. I find that when I do get to have a good, deep heart-to-heart conversation, it's so fulfilling! But more shallow social situations are very draining.
Thank you for showing that it is possible to be happy and fulfilled without being "popular," as in part of the in-crowd. I have always been somewhat ashamed of not having many close friends. People do assume that if you don't have a circle of best friends around you at all times that something is wrong with you. Being alone does not necessarily mean you are lonely, or unhappy.
Yes I have always felt shame too. So pleased I am not alone in that. I’ve felt that there’s something wrong with me for years and I’m learning it’s not true. Such internal conflict which can be so uncomfortable. The fact is I like my own company and I think that’s a gift. You can never be lonely then.
I haven't had a single friend for over 30 years. I am not shy, I'm sociable, but I abhor superficial communications. I've not been able to find a woman of intelligence and emotional depth for a long time so I forego friendships. I'm just not interested in wine Wednesday, Girlz Nite Out at the club, or group spa dates. So it's just me and my dog.
I can relate, especially to the "wine Wednesday, Girlz Nite Out at the club...". Not that there's anything wrong with those activities, I just find them tiring and overwhelming, rather than enjoyable. I'm glad to know there are other people who feel the same. I have a parent and grandparent who either try to pressure me into these activities or belittle me for not being "the life of the party" like they were at my age.
Same! I’m 52 and I’ve never had a best friend, never did a girls night out or weekend getaway, never been in someone’s wedding.. I’m single and I have my dog.. peaceful quiet life
Anti-social myself and my mother always tried to fix me in some way, telling me it's wrong to be cooped up in my own shell. Past age 16 though reading Rilke's ideas on solitude and interacting with people more like me, started to realize there's actually great power being alone, and that there's no need to force yourself to put on some persona and pretend you like socializing. I've always felt my mind is enough to stimulate me ("normal"(mind I put it in quotes) socialization for others overstimulates me, same goes for most sort of media) but your video is calming and just right for my fragile mind. Lovely peaceful vid!
I have been a lone wolf my entire life, and until the age of 23 I was constantly depressed because I knew that I am socially awkward and people just tend to avoid me. However, now that I come close to my 30's, I have a wife and just couple friends that I keep close to me and that's all I need. After I managed to build my house, buy my dream car and make myself more visible among others, people that hated me somehow started to like me because I am financially stable now. I feel sad for them, and happy for myself that I learned to live alone, and now I have absolutely no problems spending time with only my wife, or alone when she is gone somewhere.
@@ldive you dont. Thats the thing. Either way it shouldn't bother you, you live your life how you want, make yourself happy not others. You will soon find those who actually care about you, they will be their for you when you least expected it but once you do that when you make friends.
I’m an introvert and I much prefer spending time alone than with people I don’t even know or like. When I’m alone, I can appreciate the quiet, peaceful moments more than with a room full of loud, annoying strangers.
I have often wondered if I were 'broken ' or 'inferior ' somehow but after watching your videos I have come to realize that I am just my own version of 'normal ' and that's alright. Thank you for that.
I’ve come upon articles and videos on the subject of ‘how to deal with introverts’, as though we introverts aren’t half of the population. The irony with introverts is we take longer to make friends, but in the end, we make for excellent, loyal friends. Excellent video
Your videos always make me feel like I could cry. This one feels very familiar. My teen daughter is the same way. The most sweet, thoughtful, talented and deep little soul who has a hard time in the friend department. She said to me recently, "mom I just want a friend who I can talk about life with." 🥺 That kind of friend is a rare find and I hope that it happens for her one day, she truly deserves it.
This video has the most wholesome comment section I’ve ever seen. This channel has clearly cultivated an amazing fanbase. As an INFJ it brings me comfort to know that there are others like me out there - lonely but never alone. Befriending yourself is the best relationship you’ll ever have. Stay true to yourself and I wish you all the best for 2024! ❤
I think everybody in this community can relate ❤. Alone time is heaven. I even travelled around the world by myself and never felt lonely. And met beautiful people on the way.
Being quiet and cozy in one’s own company, with our animal, book, and garden fairy friends is such a richly populated universe of friends. Blessings for a beautiful winter solstice season.
If there’s one good thing that has come of TH-cam, it’s that I’ve finally found kindred spirits in the world that are like me. I always thought I was alone in wanting solitude and not having friends.
there are real people in the outside world, too, that are kindred spirits to you. Find them and make real life friends, the internet can be a nice space, but it isn't the real life
When I tell people I’m an introvert they always try to “help” me. “Why don’t you try this or that” they say… as if being an introvert is wrong. I love that I’m a kind gentle old soul who loves being surrounded by animals and nature. ❤❤❤ The world is too loud for me.
@cherishedcatlover2943 I think being introvert is only a part of feeling comfortable with someone, and then there are other qualities too. I suppose some people who are introverts do like being in social settings or having more things going on even if they do need quiet time afterwards - I used to try being friends with people who seemed calm but I then discovered they actually like going out and doing stuff with people, and had different qualities too. So it might be about 'seeing value in peace and calm "
you know y're on the right channel when you scroll through the comments and want to like all of them because they so resonate with you. many thanks Paola for creating this awesome video xx
I can totally identify. Being alone most of the time allowed me to create a safer, healthier and peaceful space for myself. I connect a lot through reading literature, music and watching entertainment programs (operas, TH-cam videos, & etc ).
This is not just a regular video but a therapy to so many people out there including me and all the comments in this video are beautiful and inspiring ❤
I’m 63, and live in The Villages, Florida - a large retirement community where everyone seems to have tons of friends. I thought to myself, “at last, I can make friends”. But you know what? I came to realize I’m a true loner, and purposely don’t even want any friends. I’m even a bit of a hermit, and am very happy, thank you. I’m never bored, I have too many interests! I don’t need any company, though I do have a wonderful husband. Yet I’m happiest when I’m home alone.
I think when people is older more difficult to find friends. I'm 63 and I never could't find a friend in my enterely life, so I stayed not alone at all, but with myself.
I'm so introverted (and an empath) that writing a comment here was something I still had to force myself to do. If not for that book "Quiet" which I happened to purchase a few months back but haven't gotten the chance to read it yet due to toxicity at work. Thank you for sharing all that you do, Paola. I so get you and your journey as it had been mine as well while growing up, and still is. I had been a subscriber since 2020 but had remained silent 99% of the time. But I've loved you and your content from the very first time I came across it (literally when you just started). I love the peace and quiet that surrounds your content/videos; your voice that's so calming for my soul/spirit; your quiet yet soulful background music that both uplifts and weirdly saddens me at times; your life's simplicity yet bountiful that's inspiring to those who prefer the sidelines and live quietly yet meaningfully. Your being an introvert yet able to put yourself out in the world with your videos is something so courageous and bold. So inspiring. Keep it up, Paola. God bless!
Can’t express enough how much better I feel after watching your video, knowing that I am not the only person who prefers solitude, peace and close circle of people that are important to me to many, often superficial relationships. Thank you!
How wonderful is it, that I, along with all the other introverts, can come here and be inspired by your life. The comments make me feel so validated! It’s like, oh! There you are! All my people !”
I found this was at the right time. Thank you so much for making this video!!! Growing up I didn't have any kind of spirits to call my friends and in a situation where I was mentally and emotionally abused for my teachers growing up and abused by my dad at home. When I wasn't at my mom's house, it took a lot out of me to try to be in normal kid and still think well of myself enough that I can make friends and maintain things even though i didn't really even know what I enjoyed for myself until I got out of public school when I was in high school. Back then I was also taking care of my grandmother at my mom's house and I was a huge responsibility that most people didn't understand and thought I was lying to get out of hanging out and social situations which was not true. I just had a responsibility that most people my age couldn't understand yet. That being said, for a long time when I was in elementary school for example, I had to believe that I had to earn my friends and I had to be friends with people who constantly bullied me, I felt like it was a rite of passage almost until I could be accepted and they were just horrible talks with people but they were literally all I had. A middle school I realized that I wasn't going to take that treatment anymore. I was so tired of being treated so negatively by everyone except for my mom and trying to defend my siblings when they were mistreated for any limitations they might have. The others simply did not understand. In middle school I really didn't have any real friends. Some acquaintances perhaps but no one that I could really trust. And for the longest time I didn't have anyone who would ask me first how I was doing. Never mind shared interests. When my grandma passed away in first year of high school, a man that had to move from my childhood home and when we moved to a completely different state I knew no one and then covet hit and quarantine affected us in a major way. Not only could I not meet new people or try new things, I was stuck in a place that I'd never been to before. Limited to nothing and being able to share and find spaces with a family who was just on an emotional roller coaster. It was a lot and though I'm finishing high school this year, and figure out when next steps. I still haven't made any friends my own age and I had to accept that. This is a time for me to learn about myself and grow and figure out what I like for myself without the world's consent or pressure, and I learned really love to read and it doesn't mean that I'm non-sociable or an outcast or recluse. It just means that I value my self-time and then being alone does not mean lonely, Yes, I miss having friends and I really want to make meaningful connections with people that I would in a heart be agreed to go on an adventure with or to have the conversations into the night but until I reach that stage in my life and I'm just not there yet. I know that when I find those right friends that they're going to be the kind that come once in a lifetime and it'll be worth the wait for. But until then this video has really helped me know that I'm not alone because so often especially in today's world with or without social media, meeting the angle that society is built for us is stressful and hard, but everyone in their own way whether they voice it or not feels the same way either traps and just trying to make ends meet or realizing the peace within themselves making room to be vulnerable for the time to come when things will happen for them and ways that they never expected, but will fall in love with.
I have never had, nor still don't really have friends. I've always been a very solitary, anti-social person who finds their peace alone. I have never felt lonely, nor do I experience feelings of loneliness. Even when I moved to the other side of the world to a country I had never been to, and a place where I knew absolutely NO ONE, I felt perfectly at peace. I had one friend who I saw maybe a couple of times per month, but other than that, had almost zero social interactions other than the market and restaurants I went to. I honestly feel like it's a bit of a superpower. 😊 Could have to do with being autistic, but I feel happy being my own best friend. I have found belonging within myself. I'd still like to have a small group of close friends and a community one day, of course, but I'm perfectly fine being my hermit self. 🥰 Thanks for another lovely video, Paola!
I think you are right: the capacity to be happy, all by yourself, is a power many people do not have. Good for you! And thanks for speaking up about it.
My son has high functioning autism and has no friends. He went to college and never made one friend. It is so hard as a mother to watch that. I worry he is lonely.
The world and people can be really nasty. That is why I stay to myself. I have always been that way. Tired of being abused and traumatized by the world. Even my family. You are precious. Very happy for you Paola. ❤
A good dog could be your best friend. They love you unconditionally, will never tell your secrets or pains of your heart and they don’t judge you. ❤ My doggie is my best friend!
expectations > reality (You always have the rest of the Toxic/ 0 remorse Normies to ruin ur life in secs) staying alone seems the best option these days
This video is going to prove to be invaluable to my teen daughter who is an introvert and just wants to be in a cottage doing art and living with her cats…just like you!!!! I can’t wait to show her that there’s nothing wrong with her but to embrace this. Thank you Paola!!!😻😻
Your sweet girl sounds like me I am in my 40's now and I was an artist and author but autistic my dream was to live in a cottage with cats and chickens and still is. She is a gem and worth so much love and care. What a dear girl you have. Please tell her this she is special beyond words when those whom wish to escape this world to find peace they are the ones whom shall heal this earth with their kindness and compassion. ❤I know this as truth from God.
I must note down your words into my dairy book..I am also introvert person. 'Being alone gives you more time to reflect n learn more than yourself on a deeper level'.
I’m living alone in my medical college hostel since past 3 years since I discovered what a toxic group of batchmates I’ve got…and believe it…being alone is sooo peaceful 🍀
I feel the same as you. I've been in the military for 30+ years and honestly might have one person I can honestly call a true friend. Mainly because the people I've met over those years were not even closely like minded, they drank, smoked, and just had their own lives they were consumed with. It is so much better being alone because I've been able to solely focus on my own personal and professional development as a leader in my organization and I am totally happy with where I am.
I spend my first year medical college trying to make new friends but it was all not worth it i got hurt ,deceived,made fun of because of who I am ...it taught me so much and living alone peacefully is better then hanging out with people who torture and bring metal distress
I like to hear you..the same as mine...for years I met only three friends ..I'm 74 year old grand ma..I'm spending a peaceful life..I wish you good luck !❤❤
There's a difference between loneliness and solitude. Solitude is good and should be encouraged, loneliness is just bad. However, wallowing in one's introverted nature reminds me of people who are proud of some spurious psychosomatic 'illness', it makes them feel as though they belong.
I am 69 and have not had many friends. Most everyone was out to get something from you which I never fell into that and if I did, I bailed out real quick!!!!! Myself, I love giving, never asking for anything in return. But when I just need someone to talk to I totally rely on Jesus and my husband of 43 years!!!! You are not alone!
@@MidnightHero64 OH Beverly, I am so so sorry over the loss of your husband! Mine is going through health issues also!!!! We just celebrated our 43rd Anniversary!! I wish you the very best dear!!!! Although at times we do not understand God's reasons for things, HE is ALWAYS with us!! Take care and keep your head on a swivel!!! As far as friends go, we are much better off with some of the "so called" friends!!!! Merry Christmas and hope you have a Blessed New Year!!!
Praise the Lord! He is my only true friend, my true love and beloved I have nobody but Him, thank you for sharing this Gail. You are blessed to have a husband.
What a beautiful and soothing video. This video appeared in my feed this morning. It's the first video I've seen of yours. I'm going to sit with this one and watch more. Owls, fox and bunnies are my spirit animals (hawks too) - your video was also a way for them to remind me they're with me 😊 Thanks for all the good you are contributing to life. Blest be, Daniel
@@SonetLandman this is what I have learned and the best thing to do. I don't even look them up on facebook to see what they are doing....including family (I have unfriended them). Why should I care about people who care nothing for me? Even if that means I have no one. I don't need to be always reminded about how none of these people care about me. For me they no longer exist and I am happier.
The Susan Cain book “Quiet” really helped me. Unfortunately my parents weren’t very understanding of my introverted nature as a child, and that has made it harder to accept myself. This video is great! I feel uplifted having watched it. I too get a lot of healing from being out in nature. It’s a shame so many people out there still have misconceptions about introverts and “quiet” people. My biggest irritation is someone who thinks it ok to patronise me or talk down to me because of my quieter nature. Or they don’t seem to value you as much. Their loss. So many people out there that are similar to me and that gives me strength, thank you x
@@luz5058 when I was young, most of my classmates always wonder why I'm so quiet, they don't understand that I'm an introvert, even my teacher suggested that I should try to be more friendly... I actually followed her advice but end up getting hurt by people, I used to befriend my classmates but I experienced betrayal and they're trying to change my whole personality. I decided to embrace myself and cut ties with them. My life is so beautiful without them, I realized I just need to accept myself and it doesn't matter if they're not.
@@balitapelikulapinas_youtube Beautiful. And there is nothing wrong with being quiet, but society makes us believe is wrong, and then the struggles of trying to fit follow. Being happy with oneself is great. I even discovered that many people really would like to be quiet but they are not out of restlessness, they are scare of themselves. Additionally, there are harmful psyche aggregates that present themselves as human beings.
I used to be a quiet and shy person, in my childhood and teenage. When I grew up and started to work, I gradually became more expressive and confident. I only have a few good friends besides my husband. But I feel very contented. I always thank God for His grace throughout the years.
Being alone is freedom. Yes there are times we want to talk to someone once in while. But I value this tranquility that I have earned. Through this alone time, we build or discover wisdom. Thanks for validation. I love the way you live.
Quality not quantity for true friends is so precious! I love to be at home with my cats and garden animals and plants, sometimes it's a real effort to meet up even with friends that I am close with. After an hour or so in company I'm longing for solitude. I'm highly sensitive too, big crowds and loud people exhaust me. I'm so happy to have found your channel and the other sensitive souls who watch 💗💗💗
I completely agree with quality over quantity for true friends- and what you said about longing for solitude after an hour of company (especially, for me, if it includes conversation that's more shallow- I love the sharing of deep thoughts!)
Crowds like in an arena are exhausting to me too. Too many people talking at once is also exhausting like a reception. I can take it just so long and then i need to leave. Ears ringing. A couple glasses of wine 🍷 does help.
Thank you for helping to normalize those of us that are quiet and need time alone. I was once called mute as a child by a mean boy at school. Not many understand what it was like.
i’m 21, i have spent the youthful years without having any friends as i struggled with socialising a lot. i prefer my own company more than what others could give which never sat with me properly, i thought i was just different. after many years i began to realise i really don’t have to need “friends” in order to enjoy life. i’m doing absolutely fine, i have a great great family and two pets. i enjoy life like how i’m supposed to. thank you for sharing this beautiful message!! ⭐️
Сейчас мне 33 и у меня только в этом году появились новые друзья спустя долгие годы. Но я не чувствовала себя одиноко. Лучше одной, чем с теми, кто тебя постоянно разочаровывает. Мне всегда есть чем себя занять. Я занимаюсь каллиграфией, учу иностранные языки, вышиваю, тренируюсь, бегаю, иногда путешествую и тд. Я много смотрю аниме, фильмов, сериалов, читаю и сделала дома целую библиотеку и мне никогда не бывает скучно одной. У меня никогда не было апатии иди депрессии из-за того, что я провожу время одна. Как можно скучать и грустить, когда мир такой огромный и в нём столько интересного. ❤
I absolutely feel this in my soul. Thank you for making me feel I’m not alone. I’m 28 and still haven’t quite found my kindred spirits but I do hold hope they are out there
Introverts are comfortable with their own company, mostly. Friends are precious to them and animals nature and relaxation to unwind is important. I think introverts have a harder time when they were young than as they get older. But people like you who help the baby introverts are incredibly needed and special! Thankyou for what you do!♥️♥️♥️
On one is it’s perfect but everything has a limit ., when u understand that when u real learn to alone ., I do have friend and use friends I haven’t never I regret having a friend ., each one of them I have taught me something about myself ., we are human and we make mistakes but don’t let anyone destroy your happiness ., go out there and enjoy it.
I am a preschool teacher, and often feel alone in my classroom while my assistants are off talking with others. I thank you for this video as a time to be tranquil, silent and acceptance.
My situation is, in a way, a reversal of yours. I had no problem having personal friendships as a kid/teen but as I've come into my adult years I've definitely fallen into spending most of my time longing to be with myself and struggling to maintain personal friendships. I needed this video very much, thank you Paola💚
This has always been me. I've struggled socially since I was little. I always loved people but struggled to relate. I found out this year at 41 that I am autistic. Soooo many things make sense now, and I've found a whole tribe of people who are just like me in that sense. It has been so freeing to learn I'm not broken, just wired different. God bless!
So happy TH-cam suggested your channel. Everything you've talked about goes back to exactly who I feel I am and who I know I am. My third-grade teacher once told my parents that I'd be just as happy sitting at the edge of the woods daydreaming. I know that nature is my place, and for years, I have been away from the thing that renews my soul. I have six more years before I retire from the military and can officially get back into nature. Additionally, I have a few people I can call friends, but like yourself, most of the people I know and work with outside of family are mere acquaintances. Thank you again for your words, as they certainly struck a chord with me and the acceptance of who I am as a person.
Dear Paola...this comment is a bit irrelevant. My grandmother has breast cancer and a risky surgery next week. I have important exams too. Altogether, the stress, fear and anxiety is overwhelming. My friends, quite justifiably, can't quite understand what I'm feeling and I just find it hard to pretend everything is normal. In the midst of this, your video today brought me peace..and connection. Thanks a lot for that. Sending love ❤️
Dear Alma, My Grammy Josie noticed a lump in her breast while visiting us in Hawaii, and I was the one she chose to share the news with. She ended up needing a radical mastectomy. My heart goes out to you at this difficult time. Please know that I will be praying for you & her as the days & weeks ago by. Grammy Josie lived through her ordeal and for many years afterwards. Aloha, Sue🌺💜🦋
I am an HSP woman as well. Your journey mirrored much of mine. I need the quiet to reflect, recharge, recuperate and be creative. A quiet life is a different path from many but it is definitely a beautiful route to grow and thrive. Thank you for the serenity of your videos and sharing your journey with us. It always brings me peace.
You might be autistic. Female and male autistic’s have different traits, I have read that book by Elaine Aron and what she describes as a hsp person is a autistic female to a tee.
Thank you for sharing this. As a child I would take books to look at or read and sit between the piano and radiator and spend time in my own little world. When you spoke about yourself as a child and then growing older I feel good to know I was not the only one to feel akward. When I went to college I thought that if I looked good on the outside everything would be fine. I did make many wonderful friends in college but forgot that I will always be myself. I am older now and I do like to socialize, however, I value those authentic friendships most of all. I also read the book, "Quiet". I saw the author on Ted Talks and she said how her teachers would always say, "We wish she would talk more, we wish she would participate with others more". After we lost my dad I was going through the attic and found my old gradebooks and it said the same things about me. Like you, I taught preschool for many years. It is such an important time in a child's schooling. Young children are by nature their true, authentic selves and I loved that about the profession. That and the sand table!
Thank you for all the birthday wishes last week! I clearly leaned into my candle obsession in this video 😅 so many candles lol winter always gets me feeling cozy and wanting to create a comforting space and welcome in the light. Take care ❤
Love the candles and the advent calendars ♥️ your videos bring a sense of coziness to my life that I myself haven't been able to cultivate yet. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective on friendships and belonging, I feel like a lot of us need to just remember there are different ways to find connection and that it's okay to be on your own unique path.
Happy Birthday! ♐
Sorry I missed it! Happy belated! 🎈
I have often felt like I don't belong anywhere with anyone, except in my imagination lands..., but here, on this channel I have discovered that there are more people who haven't felt that they belong, so now we can feel that we belong ...
Thank you for allowing yourself to rethink and renew your relationship with your videos! It is healthy!
A late happy birthday to you, dear Paola!!
ENJOYED every second of this video, glad U had a memorable birthday! 💝😊👍🏽🎂☃️🎄Short and sweet.
I am 72 yrs old and just now accepting the reality that it’s OK to be alone and not lonely. Thank you for validation !
Proud of you :)
People are created for relationships, .we are not always really lonely, and being alone to much can be selfish
There's a lot of people in the world that do not choose to be alone, and sometimes once you are, it can be so incredibly difficult to encourage yourself to seek company even if you are lonely. So no, it isn't selfish at all. Some people just prefer a quiet life in this increasingly aggressive and loud ratrace of a world. Having the mindset that you always must have company, or be in a relationship can make you feel less of a person or like you haven't 'achieved'. It's an unnecessary social pressure.
Some people thrive with company, but for others it can be very draining. We aren't 'created' for any purpose other than to experience life, in whatever capacity that is right for that person.
@@MeggsFilms Amen 🙏
@@adrianar4260 Is it really selfish to want to be alone and enjoy either nature or solace I think not?
I'd rather be alone than being in groups or relationships where I FEEL alone. Thank you Paola for being you ❤
So well said 💕
Same..#ihavebeencalledaloaner
same here. i think 90% of my life i have been alone, i am contented
So true. In groups, I am invisible anyway, but the energy around me is so loud and fatiguing. Still, there is some loneliness to being alone. For once it would be grand to have someone understand....
@@jjjackson5183 Yes, loneliness and being alone can co-exist. But I find myself even more lonely when I'm surrounded by people who don't get me and sticking to them, because I 'should' have a (large) group of friends.
Introverts can find peace with their own company and still make space for others.
Ditto
I am an introvert to
I refuse
true😺👍🏻
Yes maam.🤑
I don't have friends in my life..
Sometimes, I felt lonely about it.
I'm glad to know that there are many people who are similar to me in this world😊
I love my own company, enjoy being alone
me too, i always feel not comfortable to be in a group of people, and i have no friends
You are not alone with that feeling :D
I feel the same way 💕
I don't have a single friend, I don't consider even my family members as my friends. . But I am ok with no friends. I love myself very much and I am my own friend ❤
I can actually pinpoint the times in my life when I've had no friends , and let me tell you something , id rather be alone than have the wrong friends in life.
💯👍
@@toyeshverma2299very true
Surprisingly, the points in my life where I have been the happiest were when I had close to no or a small circle of friends. I could focus on myself and not other people’s drama. It was very peaceful.
There is nothing called as wrong friends as such broski. It's self contradicting.
Probably they were just some bunch of people who came into your life to teach you what not to be friends with and how not to live your life.
I also have had quite similar experience. Sometimes finding people outside turns out to be a total disappointment. But just be in terms with that, accept and move forward without any resistance.
Agreed
As a child I remember daydreaming about finding a friend just as quiet and introspective as myself. Someone who would also connect with me on a deep and peaceful level.
Wish I could know you
I think you found that friend within YOU; in all others we unconsciously seek ourselves.
@@writerforlifeify oh that's deep
You sound just like me
I hope you found your people.
This was so comforting. I’ve always been called “the quiet one,” and I’ve felt out of place at school. It’s like any of the friendships I’ve had had withered away. I’m almost 30 and still feel like I haven’t found “my people.” I’m trying to be patient and to just go towards what brings me joy, even if I am doing most things alone.
Literally same. I’ll be 29 next year and I always wonder if I’ll ever find my tribe. & It seems harder to find the older you get. But I also try doing hobbies & find that focusing on my own happiness & growth brings me so much peace. I’m sure I’ll make that connection somewhere along the way :)
Absolutely nothing wrong with that
Embrace your introverted nature
I remember reading a quote by a famous pianist (Mitsuko Uchida) once who said that she ‘finds socialising tedious’
And the comfort I derived from that I can not begin to tell you
It is perfectly ok to enjoy one’s solitude, to be more comfortable alone or in v small intimate settings
Embrace it and do what makes you feel good! Nothing wrong with you at all!!!
Same here
I'll be 30 this year, and while I accept myself for who I truly am I don't believe I fit in anywhere. And I'll never find a 'group' I belong to.
Maybe you will never find this tribe of yours or your people. But maybe it's because you are not of this world but something else. I think this sometimes earth is not our home but heaven is which brings me comfort. If you ever need a friend or someone to talk to I am also alone with autism and people have hurt me so much because of this so now I am shutting myself away from it all.
I’m 55 and female and have lived a solitary existence for most of my adult life. I haven’t had a lot of friends and those I have had have used and taken advantage of me whereby now I don’t bother anymore. I don’t live this way by choice, but when you have lived in my shoes perhaps you would understand. I would rather be a lone wolf than be surrounded by fake and shallow people who take advantage of your situation. I am also an introvert but again not through choice. I count my partner and my daughter as my best friends. Unfortunately, society judges people like me where I’m considered weird and different. In my opinion, it’s society who has the problem in not being accepting. I don’t feel as though I’m hurting anyone being a solitary person, nor is it stopping others getting on with their lives. I’ve learned the only one you can count on and trust is yourself.
So well said❤
Amen to all that. I'm in the same boat. F em all
True friendship is rare. You find out who your friends are when you need them most.
I’m losing my sight til i have surgery..I have lost family that can’t deal with it..I can’t drive anymore..I miss sewing,creating,painting and looking at my home..but I have my husband of 40 years..thank God everyday for him..I love these videos🥰Becca M
So true... I found out who were my true friends during Covid....
@@carolinelawrie7142 ❤️
Correct.
I found out who my true friends (and family) when I was diagnosed with cancer.
If you don't have friends just know, you're not missing anything. I've had all types of friends & 95% of them turn out to be a disappointment.
Yep
And takes time and effort to maintain. Sometimes you don’t feel necessarily “recharged”, conversations turn repetitive or you engage in behaviors that are not in your best interest (talk about other people, stay up late, drink).
Im glad you acknowledged this , social media tends to glorify friendships a lot and it makes you feel like scum when you don't have the same things to share.
@@anacorona2527
For me too many conversations feel one way. You’re talked at vs with. IMHO bc so many are suffering and lonely they’ll overshare too soon too often. I try to be aware we all have issues to deal with. Time and place. If I walk away knowing some more about the other person I feel like I actually listened. Did I contribute? I do own I’m very private and dont trust easy so a bit hard to get close to. I’m 55 and don’t have close trusted friends but some was by choice. My husb is the opposite and agrees with this video. Peace and health.
@@anacorona2527Couldn't agree more. I started to wonder if there is such thing as a "friend cycle". Lol.
Oh, Paola, this video really hit home for me. I am 48 and have felt much the same all my life and am content to only have couple of close friends, most of whom are of an older generation. I have seeked out a quiet life in the woods as well, working with plants and nature and am happy to surround myself with animals companions and focus on my home life. It took me decades to realize there was nothing wrong with me, I'm just an introvert and highly sensitive person. Much Love ❤️
I feel the same way. I am never happier than I when I am all alone in my little cabin in the woods. People think I am an extrovert because I am a public speaker who loves to share my historical research with interested others, and I do enjoy meeting new people and going to new places, but I also find it exhausting and am glad to get away from it. It's good to hear from others who aren't ashamed to say they prefer to be alone. Why are we taught that being alone means being lonely?
Me too ❤.
Eu também busco uma vida tranquila.
Wow you and I are so much alike. I'm 46. I am just learning about myself that there's nothing wrong with me, this is the only kind of life that makes me happy.
Oh, Paola, me too! I'm 77, retired from art licensing (which was an at-home job), and I also had a needlework and framing shop years ago, as well as doing many art and craft shows. When I had my shop and when my husband and I did shows, it was so much easier to meet people. I have friends, but only a couple of very close ones, plus a dear friend from across the country who is a kindred spirit and we both wish we lived closer to one another. I'm alone much of the time now, I still work at designing needlework, so I am busy and fulfilled. But now it is harder to meet friends in my community, as I also have a lot of physical issues that make it difficult for me to get around. I know people because we have lived here for almost 30 years, but given my circumstances, I'm glad I have my designing since I don't get out much. You are so blessed to also have your art and all of the creative things you do. Believe me, they will sustain you throughout your life. They are such gifts to cherish. Mine have gotten me through cancer, as well as my husband's passing a little over 2 years ago. I too am an introvert who loves people, but my mind is like a sponge and having too much activity can be draining for me, resulting in sleeplessness. Finding other kindred spirits is truly a blessing, although a rare one. I so enjoy your videos. Your gentle way of approaching life and sharing it with us is so NEEDED today. Your videos are a respite from the banality of what's "out there" on offer today. Keep on keeping on because you and your creative spirit are appreciated. Diane
This is so relatable. I used to try so hard to have friends just to avoid loneliness. Now I see I was lonelier when I tried to fit into groups I didn't belong in.
Yes it's a horrible feeling being around people you can't be yourself and comfortable with. That alone in a crowd feeling is miserable.
You are not alone , me too😢
That's right. I guess there exist a group for people who don't belong to regular groups. I grew up trusting this.
I love it that all of us introverts can come to this channel and be “alone together”!!! ❤️🥰
It is so peaceful and quiet here....being understood and accepted...you put such beautiful words to how we feel...thank you and bless you Paola...you are such a gift!☺️❤️
I love that thought. :) haha We can all come & be alone together. :)
Best comment! Such a sweet sentiment. Wishing everybody a very wonderful, magical and cosy holiday season!❤🌲❄
@@mirisucree4163 gracias!! lo mismo deseamos para ti
Alone, together. Nice!
I know a wonderful couple that shared they “don’t get out much/don’t socialize much”.
I suggested we start a “social” group…..and never meet.
HA! We all had a good laugh! 🕊
Being alone together… exactly 🙏🏼 Paola, the Voice of introvert people ❤
To me, being alone - not lonely - is the purest form of being in touch with reality and life. When I'm alone, I feel like I'm truly living my life; and anything else I do, is for making these alone times more high quality and longer.
I love how you said that, Hamid.
Alone is very calming and soothing. One can learn a lot about oneself when alone.
🎉❤😊
Thanks for motivating that's why I deleted my statement 🙏
Alone, al one, all one.
One of my favorite quotes that has always stuck with me has been "As we grow older, we realize it's less important to have lots of friends and more important to have real friends."
Hello, I live in Vietnam, I also live alone, I receive sympathy through your videos, I really like them. Thanks ❤
Being alone is not as bad as others think, being alone allows you to do your own thing, learn new things and reach new heights in your spiritual growth.
Great comment. People unfortunately have let me down many times
Needed that reminder, especially today.
Anyone here from Suu Zealand
Its better to be alone than with wrong people, less people less drama, it works for me
Edit: omg ive never had so many likes tysm guys
Same here.
Very true , lots of love from India.
Same 😊
'Less people less drama' great words.
@@video_and_motion thank you ❤️❤️
Just wanted to say that scrolling through these comments is like looking at one beautiful flower after another. You are a group of amazing souls. Thank you for sharing your stories. I feel less alone tonight.
We have millions of cells in our own body to communicate with - how can I feel lonely? 😀
It’s so nice, isn’t it? I had no idea there were so many of us out there 😌
Such a lovely comment! 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
@@kimlangenderfer7493 I agree
@@SonetLandman 😊
People often confuse solitude with loneliness and boredom when in reality it's quite the opposite 💜
I'm a shy, HSP introvert who always struggled to make and keep friends and always felt that no one understood me. I love being alone. It is nice to see more people like me. It seems there are more introverts than we think. Cheers to all my fellow introverts. Thanks for this lovely video.
Cheers!
Same brother
We're many HSPs here seemingly xD sending you much love!
I'm a HSP introvert as well. I've been seen as shy and quiet. Cheers to my feel HSPs!
Are you me?
I’d far rather spend time creating art or carving wood. In my 81 years I’ve had many acquaintances, but few that I’d call friends. I find true joy in solitude. You’re certainly not alone Paola. While we may not be friends, there are more than a million of us who enjoy our visits with you! Gracias🙏🏼
Perfectly expressed 💫
I'm in my 70s and feel the same.Best Wishes to you !
the one thing about loneliness is that you are never alone in that.
@@stellajohnson5301 well said 💕
It always feels good to hear that others feel the same way. Especially when we're young we often tend to think that we have to adhere to societal standards, that we have to go clubbing and partying because that's what you do in your 20s. I caught myself telling someone once: "I'm so glad I'm past 30 now, now I don't have to pretend to like clubbing anymore." People will often ask me why I go hiking in the woods by myself and think that I must be very lonely when in reality, this is when I am most at peace. Channels like yours are an important contribution to reaching people and showing them that there are more people like us out there who just enjoy other things in life and that this is perfectly okay. Sending much love 💕
I so relate, love!!
I agree completely!
I totally agree. Plus I also like to hike alone. 🌲🌳🦌
@@bonniebinsky6666 It's the best, isn't it? Glad to hear there are kindred spirits out there 🥰
I'm 30 now i love it ❤
Being likethatmyself I realized that somepeople are just meant to be alone. It's a lifetime learning process.
I am 53yrs old. Moved to a small town in southeast Texas. I can relate to so much of what you are saying. I dont have any friends still after living here for 10-1/2yrs. Nobody has time for deep relationship. People talk about transparency and they are anything but transparent. Society says you need a tribe yet I dont have one and I have felt like there is something wrong with me because I do not want one nor desire one. I have gone to events and have felt very alone in a room full of people. I do not have time for these surface level relationships that most people have the time for. I would rather be alone.
I am ok with it. In this stage of my life. I have embraced it. My husband is my best friend and I am grateful for him. The Lord is my strength. He is always with me and I am never alone.
Thank you for telling us about yourself
Amen.
Omg you have described my life down to a T!
I'm 34 and live in the U.K.
Ive felt this way since I was 15 years old.
I'm always alone, no matter where life takes me.
I tried my best to have a fun happy life, but the whole of my 20's where filled with loneliness, sadness and bad company literally wherever I went.
I learnt and understood my fate and into my 30's I've learnt to embrace being alone whether I like it or not.
I thought that is something wrong with me... Thank you for sharing your eksperience. I know whatbare you talking about. Sometimes its dificult, to be honest...Greetings:)
Very true. Superficial friendship is a waste of time. We all can cultivate cultivate friendship with nature and animals.
My cat Imogene is my solid rock. No matter the struggles I'm going through, even in the hardest times when friends and family feel distant and the relationships strained, my little kitty is there for me. I think human friends are important, but an animal friend who's always there for you is a priceless gift.
Kitties 🐈⬛ and dogs 🐕 are the best.
I also had a pet cockatiel. 💕
Paola, this video made me cry. I am 25 and very introverted. Despite that, most of my childhood I had a lot of friends and the fondest memories playing and creating fantasy worlds with others. But when I became a teen and into my early 20, while everyone around me was partying and clubbing, I struggled to make friends because that wasn't who I was. From 18 to 24 I was very depressed, wondering what was wrong with me and how I could get that sense of childhood camaraderie back. Thank you for this lovely video that shows how there are beautiful souls out there who also value quality over quantity and who value being alone. Today, I am comfortable with myself and I consider my pets, partner, family, and 2 others my closest friends and I am quite content. Books are also great friends :)
Hello ! I love your comment, it really describes what I exactly feel. I am a 19 years old university student who is currently living in the campus dorm and I struggle with making friends because I am not the type to just hang out, I crave something deeper. A connection that lasts a life time maybe, I know that sounds so hard to find yet I can’t stop myself from yearning. I am also a introvert who likes to spend her time in quiet and peace preferably in nature. Growing up I had lots of friends and was a very social child but all my friendships were very superficial, couldn’t really make a connection with anyone. I never felt alone by myself until I stated university 2 months ago, I see people going out and clubbing yet I cant bring myself to enjoy that no matter how hard I try. I see people hanging with their friends or their partners and it makes me question myself whether there is something wrong with me. I don’t like small talk or superficial conversations, I want a friend and a partner where I could truly open myself up and expect the same in return yet I struggle a lot these days. I am also struggling with mental illness issues since I was 14 and they don’t really help my situation as well. I truly don’t know what to do, I tried to be more like everyone else yet I don’t feel comfortable when I pretend. Your comment made me think maybe there is a hope for me. Would you mind sharing your thoughts on this matter, I really would like your opinions and advices on this matter. Thank you so much. I wish you a beautiful day ! ☺️
Tears came running my cheeks reading your comment. I am 30 and i really understand your words and feel them very close to my own experience. I had lot of friends but the years passed and i struggle to maintain friendships or find people that I can connect with. So books have been my friends and two close friends that live in a different city. But it's good to see we are not "alone" in our way of life. Thank you 🙏🌼
Me too 😢
Very relatable, me too
All the things you write about are very close to my heart. I'm almost 50 and it's only now that I've realised what friendship and close people are all about. It's taken a complete change of environment. Only now I realise that those who I thought were friends were not...I also realise that you can't be close to many people...if you are close to 2-3 people, you are very lucky.
In my experience, it is very hard to find real friendship and once you find it, sometimes is hard to stay close.
There is a reason so many of us gravitate to your channel. You bring hope, peace and gratitude to this unsettling world. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
I am mostly friendless, the exception being the constant companionship of my cat. I consider all of you fellow viewers and Paola as friendly spirits that touch mine. ❤
That is so sweet!
I can SO relate to the love and companionship of your cat… I too had a special cat who lived 18.5 years; I threw Sweet 16 birthday 🎉 party for him, much to my husb & daughter’s amusement! He’s been in Cat Heaven for many years but I still hang his collar on my Christmas tree 🎄
@@rrhines3151 18 1/2 years is amazing bless your heart
This is beautiful! 💛
Totally relatable!!
I was surrounded by friends growing up. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized most people suck. And the genuine ones tend to be alone and not want attention from others. I realized there was power to being alone - finding a sense of personal identity, more time to build skills, solitude brings creativity, etc.
I love this video. I don't call myself introverted. I call myself inward, contemplative and reflective. I don''t call myself anti-social. I call myself deeply social, because i love a good conversation with another person but not aimless chitchat at a party, so much. LIke-minded souls and kindred-spirits are gifts along the way, whom i treasure dearly.
Flowergirl this is me 100%.
Its me
That is my personality also
My reflection
Your username fits well with the kind of person you are 🌸🌺
Your video is beautiful! I'm 69 and don't have friends. Acquaintances, maybe. I love animals, books and art. I cherish being alone. I provide positive behavior support to children who have suffered trauma and struggle in school. I live in a small coastal village where there is way too much gossip. Being alone is amazing. Thank you for your videos.
I am in my 40's and alone also with no true friends. I was an artist and sold my art all over the world including my self published books but I realize now nothing is more cherished than being able to be alone and content with one self as I get closer to the earth through helping it with feeding the animals and planting trees and native plants I find solace through this and comfort in God and my faith. I live on an Island and yet I wish to travel far away one day. If you ever need a friend please reach out to me but I wish you all the best in life.
it’s universal that every small town or tiny village has nothing but gossip… 😂
Same here. 60, Lincolnshire, England. X
Have you read books by Thich Nhat Hanh? If you haven't yet,do take time to read them, they are amazing.
Hello friends
I enjoy being alone. I like socializing but being alone is the best time. People have hurt me along the way and when I try to have a friendship it all happen again. Then, I realize that being alone is the best choice even thought some people see me as weird, depressed, antisocial, etc...they judge without knowing the reasons why I prefer to be alone ..
I , too, have been hurt by people in my life , but then I shifted my perspective and spent time with myself, with my sweet solitude and now i have a brand new perspective of finding and tracing my own kindred spirits, my own tribe ...
I wish you all the best ahead in your journey and may you find your kindred spirits:")
Totally related
I find people that are extra social don't understand and tell me to be sociable. I don't justify myself to them. They think they are right.
a9
…totally relate
❤At the age of 45, after going through very critical moments, choosing your journey well and staying away from toxic people who do not share your good intentions towards nature is essential. I chose to live in a world I created. I talked so much that I couldn't hear myself; Today, I talk less, I have almost no friends to trust. but I trust myself! in my choices! and I know I'm not alone. I'm a great person for myself.
Your comment brings me comfort
Love this.
Love your comment
Sometimes we’re our own best friends and that’s perfectly okay
Great comment is your health good to
I was emotionally neglected as a child, so it has taken me a long time to figure out who I am and realize that there is nothing "wrong" with me, and it is still a continuing journey (at 30 years old), so videos such as yours are so encouraging and beautiful. Thank you!
Im 29! And feel the exact same way
I didnt realise till about a year ago that i was an introvert , I always just thought there's something wrong with me not wanting to spend time with people 24/7
You are blessed to have realised this fairly early in life. I am 57 and carried this burden on my back for a very, very long time, but finally the light came on and it changed everything for me. Everything.
I'm one of those quiet people on the Internet that rarely talk to anyone here but recently my therapist told me that I am a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and now everything that made me that "broken" person makes so much sense and I'm just so happy to share it with this channel's community as I think that there are so many more fellows like me here. This channel of yours it's a safe space for me to feel understood and I love to hear your thoughts on being sensitive during my new journey to know more about myself. Thank you so much Paola!!❤❤❤
I relate 100%! I used to think that everything I feel was the result of trauma that I had to heal, until I started reading about HSPs. It blew my mind to realize that there's nothing wrong with me; I just naturally experience life a bit differently than many others. Love and support from one HSP to another!
@@autumnidle5412 I had to wait until I was over 70 to make this discovery.- since then my life had become better and better. I feel we are so fortunate to know what sort of people we are. I love and admire Paolo so much for having the courage to share her HSP reality with a TH-cam audience. She's an inspiration. Also as a huge change agent without trying to be that.
You just described my entire life...introverted, needing deep connections, animals and plants give me more connection than humans, feeling more at home in nature than most other areas, in my golden years and haven't met my people. Alone time is healing ☺
Are you Turkish just curious
Sometimes we need a real connection as a humans being 🙌✨
I agree with most of the things you say here: Good friends are irreplaceable. Sometimes, it takes a long time and a lot of failures to find true friends. Do not forget, good ones always show up along the way.
It's better to have no friends than to have friends taking advantage of our goodness😊
true
🛑🛑🛑 Please PRAY FOR THE WORLD .KJV 🙏🙏🙏
Да в наше времялудше дружить только с животными .кошка тебя больше поймет чем подруга .
Yes sir ☺️😺
So true
This video was so needed for me today. Being introverted while also craving social connection is both wonderful and difficult. Some days I worry I am not enough, but I am. And so are you and all of the lovelies in the comments here. ♥
It's interesting- that thing about social connection & being introverted. I find that when I do get to have a good, deep heart-to-heart conversation, it's so fulfilling! But more shallow social situations are very draining.
@@sincerelyheatherlynne Thank you Heather, very well said, I feel that way too about social connection and being introverted
Thank you for showing that it is possible to be happy and fulfilled without being "popular," as in part of the in-crowd. I have always been somewhat ashamed of not having many close friends. People do assume that if you don't have a circle of best friends around you at all times that something is wrong with you. Being alone does not necessarily mean you are lonely, or unhappy.
Yes I have always felt shame too. So pleased I am not alone in that. I’ve felt that there’s something wrong with me for years and I’m learning it’s not true. Such internal conflict which can be so uncomfortable. The fact is I like my own company and I think that’s a gift. You can never be lonely then.
나쁜 친구들과 함께 있는 것보다 혼자 있는 것이 낫다
well said 👍🏼
ABSOLUTELY!!! ❤
Yes. That's true. If you haven't Good friends your lives, live alone.
But there are many good people who can be your best friend ...
@@imfahreeif we could find them, we wouldn’t choose to be alone. We just failed too many times and got hurt too much trying to find them.
I haven't had a single friend for over 30 years. I am not shy, I'm sociable, but I abhor superficial communications. I've not been able to find a woman of intelligence and emotional depth for a long time so I forego friendships. I'm just not interested in wine Wednesday, Girlz Nite Out at the club, or group spa dates. So it's just me and my dog.
sounds like my kind of people. unfortunately I don’t think we’ll ever meet 😢
Same here. Where I live people are always at the bar and I'd much rather be with my dogs and my cats.
Con người chỉ làm bạn hoặc kết nối với người họ cảm thấy thích hoặc có lợi gì đó cho họ
I can relate, especially to the "wine Wednesday, Girlz Nite Out at the club...". Not that there's anything wrong with those activities, I just find them tiring and overwhelming, rather than enjoyable. I'm glad to know there are other people who feel the same. I have a parent and grandparent who either try to pressure me into these activities or belittle me for not being "the life of the party" like they were at my age.
Same! I’m 52 and I’ve never had a best friend, never did a girls night out or weekend getaway, never been in someone’s wedding.. I’m single and I have my dog.. peaceful quiet life
Anti-social myself and my mother always tried to fix me in some way, telling me it's wrong to be cooped up in my own shell. Past age 16 though reading Rilke's ideas on solitude and interacting with people more like me, started to realize there's actually great power being alone, and that there's no need to force yourself to put on some persona and pretend you like socializing. I've always felt my mind is enough to stimulate me ("normal"(mind I put it in quotes) socialization for others overstimulates me, same goes for most sort of media) but your video is calming and just right for my fragile mind. Lovely peaceful vid!
I have been a lone wolf my entire life, and until the age of 23 I was constantly depressed because I knew that I am socially awkward and people just tend to avoid me. However, now that I come close to my 30's, I have a wife and just couple friends that I keep close to me and that's all I need. After I managed to build my house, buy my dream car and make myself more visible among others, people that hated me somehow started to like me because I am financially stable now. I feel sad for them, and happy for myself that I learned to live alone, and now I have absolutely no problems spending time with only my wife, or alone when she is gone somewhere.
I pray i have that kind of life, solitude and harmony
How did you make friends? People keep saying join clubs... college life is lonely
Happy for you!
@@ldive you dont. Thats the thing. Either way it shouldn't bother you, you live your life how you want, make yourself happy not others. You will soon find those who actually care about you, they will be their for you when you least expected it but once you do that when you make friends.
Am very proud of you :) i hope my life turns out that way am 16
I’m an introvert and I much prefer spending time alone than with people I don’t even know or like. When I’m alone, I can appreciate the quiet, peaceful moments more than with a room full of loud, annoying strangers.
I have often wondered if I were 'broken ' or 'inferior ' somehow but after watching your videos I have come to realize that I am just my own version of 'normal ' and that's alright. Thank you for that.
I’ve come upon articles and videos on the subject of ‘how to deal with introverts’, as though we introverts aren’t half of the population. The irony with introverts is we take longer to make friends, but in the end, we make for excellent, loyal friends. Excellent video
Your videos always make me feel like I could cry. This one feels very familiar. My teen daughter is the same way. The most sweet, thoughtful, talented and deep little soul who has a hard time in the friend department. She said to me recently, "mom I just want a friend who I can talk about life with." 🥺 That kind of friend is a rare find and I hope that it happens for her one day, she truly deserves it.
Maybe, thats a conversation she can share with U. At least U have each other. 🙂
Oh, I feel the same way she does! (but I'm 40) haha
It's not easy to find a friend like that, but they're sooo valuable when you come across them!
I hope so for her as well. My first close friend happened for me at 23. It is so difficult to experience as a teenager.
@@esthersanchez2264 oh yes! We are best friends 😊
@@EquineHeart22 That's so special, wonder what thats like. Glad to know U are related to Ur close friend. 😊
This video has the most wholesome comment section I’ve ever seen. This channel has clearly cultivated an amazing fanbase. As an INFJ it brings me comfort to know that there are others like me out there - lonely but never alone. Befriending yourself is the best relationship you’ll ever have. Stay true to yourself and I wish you all the best for 2024! ❤
Hello fellow INFJ ❤
I think everybody in this community can relate ❤.
Alone time is heaven.
I even travelled around the world by myself and never felt lonely. And met beautiful people on the way.
Being quiet and cozy in one’s own company, with our animal, book, and garden fairy friends is such a richly populated universe of friends. Blessings for a beautiful winter solstice season.
If there’s one good thing that has come of TH-cam, it’s that I’ve finally found kindred spirits in the world that are like me. I always thought I was alone in wanting solitude and not having friends.
Yes it makes me feel although I’m alone and ok with this path. I am not lonely ❤
there are real people in the outside world, too, that are kindred spirits to you. Find them and make real life friends, the internet can be a nice space, but it isn't the real life
I'm 29 years old. I live with my mom. She is 49 years. I love her so much. ❤ Love you mom 💞
Incest is wrong.
She is a young Mum x
Same here
So lucky
You're lucky!
When I tell people I’m an introvert they always try to “help” me. “Why don’t you try this or that” they say… as if being an introvert is wrong.
I love that I’m a kind gentle old soul who loves being surrounded by animals and nature. ❤❤❤ The world is too loud for me.
Where are you from, if you don’t mind me asking. Because introverts being forced to be more social is a very American view
@@rachel_espinoza I’m from the states
Glad to know I am not the only one like that
Omg you described me
@cherishedcatlover2943 I think being introvert is only a part of feeling comfortable with someone, and then there are other qualities too. I suppose some people who are introverts do like being in social settings or having more things going on even if they do need quiet time afterwards - I used to try being friends with people who seemed calm but I then discovered they actually like going out and doing stuff with people, and had different qualities too. So it might be about 'seeing value in peace and calm "
you know y're on the right channel when you scroll through the comments and want to like all of them because they so resonate with you. many thanks Paola for creating this awesome video xx
I can totally identify. Being alone most of the time allowed me to create a safer, healthier and peaceful space for myself. I connect a lot through reading literature, music and watching entertainment programs (operas, TH-cam videos, & etc ).
This is not just a regular video but a therapy to so many people out there including me and all the comments in this video are beautiful and inspiring ❤
I’m 63, and live in The Villages, Florida - a large retirement community where everyone seems to have tons of friends. I thought to myself, “at last, I can make friends”. But you know what? I came to realize I’m a true loner, and purposely don’t even want any friends. I’m even a bit of a hermit, and am very happy, thank you. I’m never bored, I have too many interests! I don’t need any company, though I do have a wonderful husband. Yet I’m happiest when I’m home alone.
That’s so lovely
I think when people is older more difficult to find friends. I'm 63 and I never could't find a friend in my enterely life, so I stayed not alone at all, but with myself.
Can i get your contact . Need yoi
Me too! Very well put.
It is fine, but not the same back ground feeling when one is alone without anyone coming home and thus without a partner. It is not the same
There are more of us like you Paola than you think. ❄️ 🐿 🐇 🦌✨🤍✨
X2
💐
😊
I'm one too! Just need a few, close bosom-buddies for life.
✌️
I'm so introverted (and an empath) that writing a comment here was something I still had to force myself to do. If not for that book "Quiet" which I happened to purchase a few months back but haven't gotten the chance to read it yet due to toxicity at work. Thank you for sharing all that you do, Paola. I so get you and your journey as it had been mine as well while growing up, and still is. I had been a subscriber since 2020 but had remained silent 99% of the time. But I've loved you and your content from the very first time I came across it (literally when you just started). I love the peace and quiet that surrounds your content/videos; your voice that's so calming for my soul/spirit; your quiet yet soulful background music that both uplifts and weirdly saddens me at times; your life's simplicity yet bountiful that's inspiring to those who prefer the sidelines and live quietly yet meaningfully. Your being an introvert yet able to put yourself out in the world with your videos is something so courageous and bold. So inspiring. Keep it up, Paola. God bless!
I'm the same way. I've realized a lot of people I follow on you tube are also introverted
Can’t express enough how much better I feel after watching your video, knowing that I am not the only person who prefers solitude, peace and close circle of people that are important to me to many, often superficial relationships. Thank you!
It’s better to be alone than to be with people who make you feel alone. I’d rather have no friends than ones that are fake.
Amen.
you are right
How wonderful is it, that I, along with all the other introverts, can come here and be inspired by your life. The comments make me feel so validated! It’s like, oh! There you are! All my people !”
I agree!
Agreed!
Couldn’t agree more
Wow her voice feels like a therapy. It's charming and calm. I can hear her all day long
I found this was at the right time. Thank you so much for making this video!!! Growing up I didn't have any kind of spirits to call my friends and in a situation where I was mentally and emotionally abused for my teachers growing up and abused by my dad at home. When I wasn't at my mom's house, it took a lot out of me to try to be in normal kid and still think well of myself enough that I can make friends and maintain things even though i didn't really even know what I enjoyed for myself until I got out of public school when I was in high school. Back then I was also taking care of my grandmother at my mom's house and I was a huge responsibility that most people didn't understand and thought I was lying to get out of hanging out and social situations which was not true. I just had a responsibility that most people my age couldn't understand yet.
That being said, for a long time when I was in elementary school for example, I had to believe that I had to earn my friends and I had to be friends with people who constantly bullied me, I felt like it was a rite of passage almost until I could be accepted and they were just horrible talks with people but they were literally all I had.
A middle school I realized that I wasn't going to take that treatment anymore. I was so tired of being treated so negatively by everyone except for my mom and trying to defend my siblings when they were mistreated for any limitations they might have. The others simply did not understand.
In middle school I really didn't have any real friends. Some acquaintances perhaps but no one that I could really trust. And for the longest time I didn't have anyone who would ask me first how I was doing. Never mind shared interests.
When my grandma passed away in first year of high school, a man that had to move from my childhood home and when we moved to a completely different state I knew no one and then covet hit and quarantine affected us in a major way. Not only could I not meet new people or try new things, I was stuck in a place that I'd never been to before. Limited to nothing and being able to share and find spaces with a family who was just on an emotional roller coaster. It was a lot and though I'm finishing high school this year, and figure out when next steps. I still haven't made any friends my own age and I had to accept that. This is a time for me to learn about myself and grow and figure out what I like for myself without the world's consent or pressure, and I learned really love to read and it doesn't mean that I'm non-sociable or an outcast or recluse. It just means that I value my self-time and then being alone does not mean lonely, Yes, I miss having friends and I really want to make meaningful connections with people that I would in a heart be agreed to go on an adventure with or to have the conversations into the night but until I reach that stage in my life and I'm just not there yet. I know that when I find those right friends that they're going to be the kind that come once in a lifetime and it'll be worth the wait for. But until then this video has really helped me know that I'm not alone because so often especially in today's world with or without social media, meeting the angle that society is built for us is stressful and hard, but everyone in their own way whether they voice it or not feels the same way either traps and just trying to make ends meet or realizing the peace within themselves making room to be vulnerable for the time to come when things will happen for them and ways that they never expected, but will fall in love with.
Being able to be alone and happy with yourself shows a strong sense of self actualization. You have accomplished what most people never achieve. ❤❤❤❤
I have never had, nor still don't really have friends. I've always been a very solitary, anti-social person who finds their peace alone. I have never felt lonely, nor do I experience feelings of loneliness. Even when I moved to the other side of the world to a country I had never been to, and a place where I knew absolutely NO ONE, I felt perfectly at peace. I had one friend who I saw maybe a couple of times per month, but other than that, had almost zero social interactions other than the market and restaurants I went to. I honestly feel like it's a bit of a superpower. 😊 Could have to do with being autistic, but I feel happy being my own best friend. I have found belonging within myself.
I'd still like to have a small group of close friends and a community one day, of course, but I'm perfectly fine being my hermit self. 🥰
Thanks for another lovely video, Paola!
I think you are right: the capacity to be happy, all by yourself, is a power many people do not have. Good for you! And thanks for speaking up about it.
I love your description, being your own best friend, being your superpower ❤️🎄❤️ Blessings from Ireland ☘️
My son has high functioning autism and has no friends. He went to college and never made one friend. It is so hard as a mother to watch that. I worry he is lonely.
@@wildflowerwind6941 Have that conversation, maybe he needs to connect with others like minded people. Blessings to you 🎄❤️🎄
Your solitude will be a support and a home for you, even in the midst of very unfamiliar circumstances, and from it you will find all your paths.
The world and people can be really nasty. That is why I stay to myself. I have always been that way. Tired of being abused and traumatized by the world. Even my family. You are precious. Very happy for you Paola. ❤
YES ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!!!
I agree, however my personal goal in this world is to help kids and animals.
@@luu9159 I wish you best of luck and success with your life goal!
@@diediedice Thank u
Omg and I thought I was hurt by many people only bcos am in india
I always thought it would be amazing to experience a best friend, at least once in life.
I found one in a game
A good dog could be your best friend. They love you unconditionally, will never tell your secrets or pains of your heart and they don’t judge you. ❤ My doggie is my best friend!
expectations > reality (You always have the rest of the Toxic/ 0 remorse Normies to ruin ur life in secs) staying alone seems the best option these days
I have the same deep wish of having one true soulmate, that values the same things as I do.
I always wanted a best friend. I thought I had one when I got married. But she left after 18 years because I wasn't social enough.
This video is going to prove to be invaluable to my teen daughter who is an introvert and just wants to be in a cottage doing art and living with her cats…just like you!!!! I can’t wait to show her that there’s nothing wrong with her but to embrace this. Thank you Paola!!!😻😻
Sounds like me when I was a teen, hope she finds peace and happiness within herself.
Your sweet girl sounds like me I am in my 40's now and I was an artist and author but autistic my dream was to live in a cottage with cats and chickens and still is. She is a gem and worth so much love and care. What a dear girl you have. Please tell her this she is special beyond words when those whom wish to escape this world to find peace they are the ones whom shall heal this earth with their kindness and compassion. ❤I know this as truth from God.
@@secretdoorgaming2024 😻😻😘😘
@@GlassCaskett 😻😻😻
We all want to be friends with you, in some way. Being alone gives you more time to reflect and learn more about yourself on a deeper level.
I'd argue that being around people does the same! It allows you to find out what you think and how you react to certain people and situations
I must note down your words into my dairy book..I am also introvert person. 'Being alone gives you more time to reflect n learn more than yourself on a deeper level'.
If you want to be friends with a stranger on the internet, you don t know what friendship is
@@Karincl7 online friendships exist too. Are you really gatekeeping something so simple as friendship?
Yup, nothing equals some quality time with one's self 💙
I’m living alone in my medical college hostel since past 3 years since I discovered what a toxic group of batchmates I’ve got…and believe it…being alone is sooo peaceful 🍀
I feel the same as you. I've been in the military for 30+ years and honestly might have one person I can honestly call a true friend. Mainly because the people I've met over those years were not even closely like minded, they drank, smoked, and just had their own lives they were consumed with. It is so much better being alone because I've been able to solely focus on my own personal and professional development as a leader in my organization and I am totally happy with where I am.
I spend my first year medical college trying to make new friends but it was all not worth it i got hurt ,deceived,made fun of because of who I am ...it taught me so much and living alone peacefully is better then hanging out with people who torture and bring metal distress
I like to hear you..the same as mine...for years I met only three friends ..I'm 74 year old grand ma..I'm spending a peaceful life..I wish you good luck !❤❤
Hallo medical studen you spend first year in medical but i preparation for medical test God bless you..
There's nothing wrong with enjoying solitude in nature. It's an innate need for artists and philosophers who need to connect with beauty.
Well said 👏👏👏
Amen, well said!
I prefer to be a lone wolf than be surrounded by ‘friends’ who betray or try to use me. There is immense strength in being comfortable alone
Story of my life, story of my life, I've attracted the some of the worst ppl.
Same story.. different author
Facts
Yeah I always yearned for true friends. Sadly, I ended up used. Now I just vibe alone, or with someone who feels like they're ok with me
There's a difference between loneliness and solitude. Solitude is good and should be encouraged, loneliness is just bad. However, wallowing in one's introverted nature reminds me of people who are proud of some spurious psychosomatic 'illness', it makes them feel as though they belong.
I am 69 and have not had many friends. Most everyone was out to get something from you which I never fell into that and if I did, I bailed out real quick!!!!! Myself, I love giving, never asking for anything in return. But when I just need someone to talk to I totally rely on Jesus and my husband of 43 years!!!! You are not alone!
🌼💮🌸🌼💮🌸✨✨✨So true!!!
🥰🙏🏻
Amen.
@@MidnightHero64 OH Beverly, I am so so sorry over the loss of your husband! Mine is going through health issues also!!!! We just celebrated our 43rd Anniversary!! I wish you the very best dear!!!! Although at times we do not understand God's reasons for things, HE is ALWAYS with us!! Take care and keep your head on a swivel!!! As far as friends go, we are much better off with some of the "so called" friends!!!! Merry Christmas and hope you have a Blessed New Year!!!
Praise the Lord! He is my only true friend, my true love and beloved I have nobody but Him, thank you for sharing this Gail. You are blessed to have a husband.
What a beautiful and soothing video. This video appeared in my feed this morning. It's the first video I've seen of yours. I'm going to sit with this one and watch more. Owls, fox and bunnies are my spirit animals (hawks too) - your video was also a way for them to remind me they're with me 😊 Thanks for all the good you are contributing to life.
Blest be,
Daniel
"our path is our own and we will find our way" i needed that. thank you
Crying now as I’m typing this😢 I really needed to hear that 😪
You know that you have found a kindred spirit when you can go without seeing each other for years and pick up again right where you left off. ❤️
True.
yessssss
When I tried to pick up where I left off no one was interested. No one interested in resuming our friendship. I no longer look for old friends.
@@loricampbell1164 😓. I find that people just keep on disappointing me. I let people go, sending them off like a sail boat down the river.
@@SonetLandman this is what I have learned and the best thing to do. I don't even look them up on facebook to see what they are doing....including family (I have unfriended them). Why should I care about people who care nothing for me? Even if that means I have no one. I don't need to be always reminded about how none of these people care about me. For me they no longer exist and I am happier.
The Susan Cain book “Quiet” really helped me. Unfortunately my parents weren’t very understanding of my introverted nature as a child, and that has made it harder to accept myself. This video is great! I feel uplifted having watched it. I too get a lot of healing from being out in nature. It’s a shame so many people out there still have misconceptions about introverts and “quiet” people. My biggest irritation is someone who thinks it ok to patronise me or talk down to me because of my quieter nature. Or they don’t seem to value you as much. Their loss. So many people out there that are similar to me and that gives me strength, thank you x
unnecessary and even harmful to follow parents/people's expectations, our own self is the one to be followed 🙂
@@luz5058 when I was young, most of my classmates always wonder why I'm so quiet, they don't understand that I'm an introvert, even my teacher suggested that I should try to be more friendly... I actually followed her advice but end up getting hurt by people, I used to befriend my classmates but I experienced betrayal and they're trying to change my whole personality. I decided to embrace myself and cut ties with them. My life is so beautiful without them, I realized I just need to accept myself and it doesn't matter if they're not.
@@balitapelikulapinas_youtube Beautiful. And there is nothing wrong with being quiet, but society makes us believe is wrong, and then the struggles of trying to fit follow. Being happy with oneself is great. I even discovered that many people really would like to be quiet but they are not out of restlessness, they are scare of themselves. Additionally, there are harmful psyche aggregates that present themselves as human beings.
I used to be a quiet and shy person, in my childhood and teenage. When I grew up and started to work, I gradually became more expressive and confident. I only have a few good friends besides my husband. But I feel very contented. I always thank God for His grace throughout the years.
Being alone is freedom. Yes there are times we want to talk to someone once in while. But I value this tranquility that I have earned. Through this alone time, we build or discover wisdom. Thanks for validation. I love the way you live.
Quality not quantity for true friends is so precious! I love to be at home with my cats and garden animals and plants, sometimes it's a real effort to meet up even with friends that I am close with. After an hour or so in company I'm longing for solitude. I'm highly sensitive too, big crowds and loud people exhaust me. I'm so happy to have found your channel and the other sensitive souls who watch 💗💗💗
I completely agree with quality over quantity for true friends- and what you said about longing for solitude after an hour of company (especially, for me, if it includes conversation that's more shallow- I love the sharing of deep thoughts!)
Crowds like in an arena are exhausting to me too. Too many people talking at once is also exhausting like a reception. I can take it just so long and then i need to leave. Ears ringing. A couple glasses of wine 🍷 does help.
Thank you for helping to normalize those of us that are quiet and need time alone. I was once called mute as a child by a mean boy at school. Not many understand what it was like.
I know this feeling. I was, all of my childhood, labeled as mute, quite.
i’m 21, i have spent the youthful years without having any friends as i struggled with socialising a lot. i prefer my own company more than what others could give which never sat with me properly, i thought i was just different. after many years i began to realise i really don’t have to need “friends” in order to enjoy life. i’m doing absolutely fine, i have a great great family and two pets. i enjoy life like how i’m supposed to. thank you for sharing this beautiful message!! ⭐️
Сейчас мне 33 и у меня только в этом году появились новые друзья спустя долгие годы. Но я не чувствовала себя одиноко. Лучше одной, чем с теми, кто тебя постоянно разочаровывает. Мне всегда есть чем себя занять. Я занимаюсь каллиграфией, учу иностранные языки, вышиваю, тренируюсь, бегаю, иногда путешествую и тд. Я много смотрю аниме, фильмов, сериалов, читаю и сделала дома целую библиотеку и мне никогда не бывает скучно одной. У меня никогда не было апатии иди депрессии из-за того, что я провожу время одна. Как можно скучать и грустить, когда мир такой огромный и в нём столько интересного. ❤
мне тоже 33, но пока что новых друзей не нашла.. где вы познакомились с новыми людьми? Интровертам тяжело..
@@12oqиз какого вы города?
Knowing that I am not alone, that I am not the only introvert in the whole world, makes me feel good
Isn't it the greatest feeling in the world to know we're normal and there is a whole world out there that feels the same way we do.
I absolutely feel this in my soul. Thank you for making me feel I’m not alone. I’m 28 and still haven’t quite found my kindred spirits but I do hold hope they are out there
I already accepted this goddamn reality. I know that I'm doomed to be alone till I die. I have lost my hope!
I can relate to it
Introverts are comfortable with their own company, mostly. Friends are precious to them and animals nature and relaxation to unwind is important. I think introverts have a harder time when they were young than as they get older. But people like you who help the baby introverts are incredibly needed and special! Thankyou for what you do!♥️♥️♥️
Absolutely 💙
On one is it’s perfect but everything has a limit ., when u understand that when u real learn to alone ., I do have friend and use friends I haven’t never I regret having a friend ., each one of them I have taught me something about myself ., we are human and we make mistakes but don’t let anyone destroy your happiness ., go out there and enjoy it.
Idk why but i am enjoying so much by sitting on my chair of my room and doing my stuffs rather than hanging out with friends
Same here🥰
I am a preschool teacher, and often feel alone in my classroom while my assistants are off talking with others. I thank you for this video as a time to be tranquil, silent and acceptance.
Hello 👋 Jacqueline
Teaching can be very lonely
Jacqueline.... I feel you very well. I was there in your shoes. Assistants can sometimes discourage you. My students were friends at School😊
Jacqueline.... I feel you very well. I was there in your shoes. Assistants can sometimes discourage you. My students were my friends at School😊
My situation is, in a way, a reversal of yours. I had no problem having personal friendships as a kid/teen but as I've come into my adult years I've definitely fallen into spending most of my time longing to be with myself and struggling to maintain personal friendships. I needed this video very much, thank you Paola💚
This has always been me. I've struggled socially since I was little. I always loved people but struggled to relate.
I found out this year at 41 that I am autistic. Soooo many things make sense now, and I've found a whole tribe of people who are just like me in that sense. It has been so freeing to learn I'm not broken, just wired different.
God bless!
So happy TH-cam suggested your channel. Everything you've talked about goes back to exactly who I feel I am and who I know I am. My third-grade teacher once told my parents that I'd be just as happy sitting at the edge of the woods daydreaming. I know that nature is my place, and for years, I have been away from the thing that renews my soul. I have six more years before I retire from the military and can officially get back into nature. Additionally, I have a few people I can call friends, but like yourself, most of the people I know and work with outside of family are mere acquaintances. Thank you again for your words, as they certainly struck a chord with me and the acceptance of who I am as a person.
Dear Paola...this comment is a bit irrelevant. My grandmother has breast cancer and a risky surgery next week. I have important exams too. Altogether, the stress, fear and anxiety is overwhelming. My friends, quite justifiably, can't quite understand what I'm feeling and I just find it hard to pretend everything is normal. In the midst of this, your video today brought me peace..and connection. Thanks a lot for that. Sending love ❤️
Dear Alma,
My Grammy Josie noticed a lump in her breast while visiting us in Hawaii, and I was the one she chose to share the news with. She ended up needing a radical mastectomy. My heart goes out to you at this difficult time. Please know that I will be praying for you & her as the days & weeks ago by. Grammy Josie lived through her ordeal and for many years afterwards.
Aloha, Sue🌺💜🦋
Prayers and blessings to you and your grandmother...🙏🏻❤️
I am praying for thee and thy grandmother. May God bless you both. ❤
Sending prayers 🙏🏼🤍
Just prayed for you both.
This is so refreshing. To accept ourselves as we are. Cozy ☕ little 📚 homebodies. 😊 It's such a freeing feeling.
I am an HSP woman as well. Your journey mirrored much of mine. I need the quiet to reflect, recharge, recuperate and be creative. A quiet life is a different path from many but it is definitely a beautiful route to grow and thrive. Thank you for the serenity of your videos and sharing your journey with us. It always brings me peace.
Same
You might be autistic. Female and male autistic’s have different traits, I have read that book by Elaine Aron and what she describes as a hsp person is a autistic female to a tee.
❤
Thank you for sharing this. As a child I would take books to look at or read and sit between the piano and radiator and spend time in my own little world. When you spoke about yourself as a child and then growing older I feel good to know I was not the only one to feel akward. When I went to college I thought that if I looked good on the outside everything would be fine. I did make many wonderful friends in college but forgot that I will always be myself. I am older now and I do like to socialize, however, I value those authentic friendships most of all. I also read the book, "Quiet". I saw the author on Ted Talks and she said how her teachers would always say, "We wish she would talk more, we wish she would participate with others more". After we lost my dad I was going through the attic and found my old gradebooks and it said the same things about me. Like you, I taught preschool for many years. It is such an important time in a child's schooling. Young children are by nature their true, authentic selves and I loved that about the profession. That and the sand table!