Communication can heal| Friendship with Sindy & Ntokozo
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024
- In this new episode, Mpoomy sits with longtime best friends Sindy and Ntokozo and unpacks how communication has affected their friendship. From both suffering valid hurt to acknowledging each others differences, we see what it takes to breakdown a friendship and rebuild it again.
Mpoomy always knows the type of content our heart needs and the right time to upload it ❤🙌🙌
Sindy is a lover with no limit😂😂😂😂😂❤❤❤❤ I had that kind of friend once and it feels overwhelming. I get it and I love that they reconciled.
Ntokozo struggled with communicating assertively. In that struggle, she wasn’t honest enough with herself in accepting that as her flaw or area she needed work in because it was easy to see Sindi as the problem. “Sindi doesn’t listen to me, she doesn’t give me space to express how I truly feel” etc…
Sindi is extroverted and by their very nature, extroverted people can be received as controlling. So with Ntokozo feeling overwhelmed by Sindi’s “controlling tactics” of suggesting to her what she could do in her new role, the resentment that had slowly been building EVERYTIME she struggled to express herself built a wall and shut out Sindi. Now Sindi being skilled in facing things head-on she asks what she’s done wrong because she’s genuinely concerned and Ntokozo again, with her communication struggles, she just keeps running away instead of teaching herself to communicate and to say to herself, if Sindi shuts me down I’m going to tell her right there and there so I walk away from this conversation heard.
I get this dynamic. They are both so very right and justified in their feelings but introverts need to address their flaws too because they get away with causing other people pain all in the name of “they are quite and reserved” and that’s just enabling their problematic behaviours more instead of teaching them to be better people.
Yoh sis you hit the nail.
People get busy and life evolves. But you can identify who your friends are when your life progresses. What I have learned is seasons change.
Even when things go South.
You will get people who will call you knowing that you are seeing flames. Just to brag about their milestones. Nothing wrong. But timing hey!!!
Yes!
Went through something similar recently and it has left me with so much hurt and loneliness. I pray that God brings restoration and peace for anyone who can relate. Not necessarily in the form of reconciliation, but acceptance and healing ♥️ pray for me too ya'll, its really hard being a new mom and not having your friends to lean on
Ezekiel 36:26 "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh!" Thank Heavens for Google akere... I think this was also a verse of the day just a few days ago.
I struggle with friendships. Genuinely struggle so much that I have decided to take a break and just work on my heart. It is never too late hey. Sometimes you get to a point where you just have no idea who was in the wrong and that is definitely not a good place. Firstly, I need to establish what a good friendship should look like and ironically, this goes back to child-hood trauma. That can really re-wire the way you handle yourself and being in tune with the inner child is important. I admire Sindy and Ntokozo for being so frank about their friendship and sharing such deep elements of their relationship with us. Thank you guys. Thank you to all of you. Sometimes removing yourself from friendships is more to really preserve the dignity that could be left of the friendship. You know that residue of love + respect + chances of reconciliation. Stepping back helps and then just re-evaluate later when you and relevant friend have had time to work on yourselves.
Beautiful conversation, I love how they both took accountability for their wrongs and how they extended grace for each other when it was time to have the conversation without any of them feeling invalidated. That’s maturity 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 amazing season Mrs Mom👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I’m not sure there was true accountability of how her insecurities also played a role in how she vilified her friend. Her resentment was on the basis of her feeling inadequate to step into the role which manifested as resentment towards the person who gave her the role. Then she went to meet a friend with the intention of breaking a friend and only relinquished that desire when her tears showed she was already broken. The key to healing this relationship is most certainty communication but it’s also two people fully loving themselves so they know how to meet people in love.
Often when we don’t love ourselves it’s hard to accept the love others have for us. Only love begets love. I pray healing for both.
I’m unfortunately feeling this way …there’s something I’m not feeling but maybe it’s just me
Friendship breakups are the worst, but this was certainly healing❤
Mpoomy eyes in friendship fall out discussion... I could sense pain in her eyes more strength to you mamas ... friendship breakups are not easy at all. Nice Conversation with the ladies, Thanks once again for this ❤
Cindy is a lover and I feel like she also has that overpowering character
True, these two traits of her come in one package imagine 😂
“My pain matters in its totality and your pain matters in it’s totality”, totally agree with this.
When your pain is disregarded resentment is inevitable and if not communicated it leads to failure in friendships eventually.
Enjoyed this episode ❤.
The maturity in this friendship is just too beautiful and priceless 💯💯🤗🤗
This just made me so emotional, I love the openess and honesty shared here...This was an uncomfortable conversation yet freeing. I still find it really hard to talk about my feelings. I don't like hurting people with my words that I end up invalidating my own feelings in the process and it makes me just shut down, feel unheard, misunderstood and I am always left with resentment "so my feelings dont matter but yours matter, I am the only bad person here?" But nowadays I am getting better at validating my own feelings while still validating another person's feelings..I greatly believe no one is bad, we are just broken people who desire to feel heard and loved but use wrong methods to manifest those desires ..
Communication is where i am still really struggling ..I liked the part where Sindy said we should learn to validate our friend's feelings without invalidating our own feelings....
2022 was the year I had to face my own demons and learn to be strong for myself and lean more on God rather expecting soo much from people around when they are only human.
God had to break down many walls in my life and in the process I had no time for friendships....I am a kind of person who really needs space to process each and every feeling, every loss, that instead of communicating I just shut down and end up hurting friend's feelings unintentionally...Friendships are honestly are not easy, I respect people who can say out their feelings openly. Sending love♥️♥️♥️
This is a God centered friendship ❤️
mrs mom 😭😭we need more episodes on friendships yohhh re bona dust 💀great episode as always ❤️❤️
Ijoh
Thank you for sharing this friendship conversation. I currently don't have people I can call friends @ age 32 I hope one day I'll meet my tribe. As an introvert and a person who's not good with conversations, who also has trust issues from previous friendship traumas it's tricky for me to make friends but I'll work on my blindspots and be a better person to others as well... ❤️
Let's be friends dear 😘
@@naomimkhutche4856 I'd appreciate making a friend 😘
please add me in your friendship tribe ladies ☺️😊
@@Sedzani.N join dear
Me and you same same shame …I don’t have friends and it’s a bad thing hey
It’s true about introverts we are fed that we are good people no matter what because of our personality. But I’m learning to be accountable and knowing I will disappoint others and wrong them. It’s tough. 🙃
Fact
Personally the friendship I will like to see being restored is that of Yolz and Mpoomy. I know Mpoomy has been villianized and if you ask me the entertainment vloggers couldn’t be far from the truth coz Mpoomy is such a sweetheart. She genuinely cares for people and she means well. I have had few interactions with her beyond just watching her videos and hence I can confidently say I see her heart.
You said what I was thinking hey, every time a friendship break up conversation comes up , I think about them a lot, I really love both of them shem but because we might never really know the full depth of what occurred from both sides, it's best we accept that season has passed and it was really beautiful to witness 🥺❤
I appreciate the last part🌸
I also constantly keep hoping they will reconcile... I love them both so much.. M still hoping it will happen even if it takes time...Ntokozo & Sindy took time to get where they are now so m hoping Mpoomy and Yolz will also get there.. With time
Conversation is relatable 😊... Didn't realize l was carrying friendship hurt and made me examine current friendships as we go into the new year.
Friendship breakups are the worst💔. Especially if there is no account of how and why it happened. Thank you for such s deep conversation , definitely a thought provoking one. I hope we all get to heal and reconcile if need be.,
I went through a similar situation. It's not easy for me, worst we stay in the same street. What Ive learned today is that for a relationship to work, we need to Communicate and put some work. I'm glad that they both listened to the Holy Spirit.
Sindy is so gorgeouus maan and her voice and style yuuhh😭❤✋
“To break up a friendship and not tell the other person is not fair” felt that. ❤
As a South African in China, I live for these podcasts, I cnt even wait for another episode. Informative, challenging and purpose driven talks😍
Okay Mpoomy really is spirit led, girl I'm uNtokozo and the thing about being introverted is that you easily go to I'm ready for things to end, I admire how extroverts genuinely pursue, it's a gift! So challenged to do better in my own friendships🥰
Thanks for this 😅, didn’t know it was an introvert thing, thought it was just me ❤
Omg this is me. I'm always ready, ha ke batle confrontation, discussion. I hate it about myself, however I'm trying to change.
@@babhekilem1784 we are in the same boat, I even hate the word confrontation. But we have to do better to have sustainable relationships in general🤗
But how are you okay to lose valuable relationships? Do they not mean anything to you? Genuinely curious
Friendship break ups are the worst, more especially if you are not told what you did wrong😢
Yah no shame, i cried😥.So glad about the restoration.
I'm going through this and I really feel like reconciling after this episode. Beautiful conversation ladies ❤️❤️
Same
Let me finish and see if I’ll feel like reconciling though I doubt it 😅
Same here
Thank you for shedding light on the sensitive side of extroverts and the importance of not dismissing your own feelings. That conclusion 💯 thank you Mpoomy for helping us with wisdom for this life. God bless 🙏
You always know what questions to ask. They are so strategic and empathetic. I'm so hooked up on all your wisdom and wellness video.
Thank you.
May God protect this beautiful friendship. I love them so much. Thank you, Mpoomy, for bringing this conversation to our screens ❤
This was really good I shared a tear. I have a friendship fall out with my childhood friend we last spoke 6years. she stays two house away from my mom's house I see her almost every weekend when I go home we don't even look at each other. This episode made me emotional I don't know why but it did, I think I miss her but it's that thing of am not going to be the first one to talk to her.
Another thing thats gonna kill us is “I am not gonna be the first one” deep we are dying we can even sleep at night we see them in our dreams coz we really miss them.Make i move i am making mine today
@@ntlametlwanamokgohloa384 how did it go?
@@NomsLoots we made up from the dat i said i made i move we were only able to meet i think a week ago coz shes was not in right space..its a work in progress we agree to both work on it and admitted that our separation was hurtful n ver very painful but it needed to happen ..we are healing together
Yho! This conversation was somewhat triggering for me. But I love that they are working at building their relationship anew.
Mrs Mom when are you having your own television show🤔🤔😍😍😍😍😘😘 I have to say you've inspired me in a lot of ways and you keep inspiring me🤞🤞🤞 growing up I wasn't really into TH-cam but I started my TH-cam channel because of you, while you were starting when you used to upload a lot of vlogs going to weekend getaways with Brenden😍😍 when you planned your wedding and got pregnant again, your 2nd baby shower yoooooooh Mpoomy o tswa kgole I've been smiling with your videos ever since I bumped into your channel, there's something special about you keep shining looooooooove you lots🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️
Getting soo emotional when sis sindy speaks 🥺
Mpoomy God bless you & surrendering your life, for being a vessel, sometimes going through experiences to be able to be so impactful
This was such an interesting episode and Sindy has such a big heart because i don't think if i was in her shoes i would have pursued.
This was a tough conversation in and of itself. But Mpoomy you did so well. Your interviewing skills are unmatched, to me personally. Well done to you all.
Hugs for Sindy. 😭😭💜💜💕I feel shes big energy and it can feel overwhelming to introverts. But I get both ladies. Bt yho shes been hurting.. And was hurt..
🫂🫂🫂
Honestly trying to rebuild a friendship and the story you guys shared is similar to our and this is helpful and comforting to know that these things happen and they can be fixed ❤️
It takes time and talk to make any relationship to work learnt a lot from this wonderful ladies
My best friend of 18 years is an introvert and I am an extrovert... communication is everything to keep it alive, being honest and vulnerable ALL the time. Never leave things hanging... TALK.
Thank you guys for sharing your story ❤ 😊 and thank you Mrs mom.
What a tense episode. So beautiful 🥲
This definitely felt like a breath of fresh air thank you for a beautiful show .I currently don't have friends because of past hurt and betrayal, but I have hope I'm to soften up my heart again and open myself up to genuine friendship , I learned that in any relationship we choose whether or not you are willing to work through your differences and reach common ground and let God be the foundation be it friendship,marriage,parent and child .
Wow Mpoomy is so good at this. I always get shook every time i have to listen to her. I can get used to it 😅😭😭
Sila…as always 📍 early squad where ya at?!
Hey Zimi🤍🤍🤍
@@MpoomyLedwaba hey my love 🥰 thank you for the upload 🙏🏾
Checked in 😘✅
I love the statement ethi introverts always get validated coz they are reserved so it’s always a “uyasukelwa” coz the extrovert is loud about her feelings. It’s something to retrospect as introverts coz somethings can easily be resolved but go for a year coz me the introvert did not communicate. Shuu
And also as introverts opening up depend on the other part willing to listen and be open to receive your concerns well coz at times you reach out but the other part is not ready to listen or forever invalidate your feelings or concerns and as an introvert you will grovel back to your shell and reach a point where you feel like ahh let me just withdraw and once an introvert get to that space most times they are tired and it will be hard to get them back to the place you were once in and it is fortunate when both parties are matured when there is a breakout both will be vulnerable and open up and work on their habits to accommodate each other if the intentions are good...or if the other one doesn't try to dominate the other one
@@queenmpho1461 💯 definitely. With all that said, i do think as introverts we just need to hold ourselves accountable. Because I know i easily go to my shell of “she doesn’t listen to me anyways” I learned to send messages lol. I text a long message on my feelings then request a “sit down” because even if i can’t say it to your face coz you maybe overpower me with words, should I decide to walk away, i walk with a clear conscience because i told you oksalayo. Agh its tough but we learn as we grow i guess.
@@Mbaliekeswa oooh soo true hey I totally get you,I am an introvert and I always do introspection in a situation and I account where I should, I'm soo much self aware in such a way that if I don't feel safe in a friendship/relationship I'm very honest and i will consider all aspects as to why i feel that way if it is worth working on i will do the work but if it drains me i will walk away after addressing the issue to avoid just leaving someone with no closure my biggest strength/weakness is that I give it my all before giving up on someone and also it depends coz honestly there are people who have too much pride and can gaslight you a lot soo at times its okay to walk with no closure for your own sanity.
Such an apt episode😭😭. Friendships/ break ups have been a theme in my life esp for the past year. A painful theme if I may add. Thank you for discussing this topic.
Am I the only one who felt all sorts of emotions listening to this conversation?
I was crying throughout
I don't know Sindi, but am just loving her.......
Friendships have been my pillar, I love good friendships. Had a fallout too with two friends, one scenario shook two of my friends. Didn't know friendship breakups can be more heartbreaking than relationship ones. Managed to fix them, wish I could vent, talk it through with them because I know there are cracks that weren't fixed but we good now with both of them!
Just came from Spotify to see the faces behind the voices,,, beautiful people
I relate with Sindy sooo much
Enjoyed this so much. Thank you for such a relatable episode…your content Mpoomy is always on point. Nto and Sindi, thank you for sharing pieces of you with us…
❤
This is an eye opener
So Grateful for this conversation Mpoomy. Friendship is a lot of work, and without proper communication,most friendships end. Learnt so much from this episode.🤗
I enjoyed this conversation so much also learned a lot. It made me think if I am really a good friend 🤔🤔
Today, this video found me...and I learnt so so much, it's so funny how we always talk about love languages when we refer to romantic partners but yet those love languages apply to our friendships... greatly appreciated this talk❤️❤️I will do better as a friend.
Mpoomys topics are always just in time in my life... Haibo sisi ur God, i respect Him❤️
Hey wena yesterday i was like looking for a mediator between me and a special friend..And i come home to find this episode..If i dont get it then I am a disobedient child.
There you have it
This conversation hits me hard, Thank you Mrs mum for bringing this up ❤️❤️🙏
Thank you for this conversation.
Ntokozo said I'm an Administration guru" somewhere she said " I love administration". I felt a load getting off my shoulders.
She has made a life out of it. I love it too. I've always thought it's weird. It is not.
I would really like to know how to professionalise mine too.
Hey Kamo, just volunteer yourself up to helping out friends in their startups. That will expose you to how much you can do. Once you've mastered it then you can start charging for your work
I enjoyed this episode, its eye opening not only on friendships but even on myself.
Mpoomy Ledwaba you know which conversations to pursue and we thank you for that queen.
On this episode; thank you so much for this. Some key areas that are fundamental in every relationship, accountability, validating each other’s experiences and effective honest communication. This is a Life long journey that two people have to continue coming into agreement on. Without these, who are we kidding?
Love love how Mpoomy spoke on how us outspoken people are quickly seen as the villains in relationship break outs but it really takes two to make something work. I pray we can take accountability. Even the introverts.
Such an honest conversation. Loved it
Adulting at its best. I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. Communication is truly healing.
this was such a relatable conversation, and I've learned a lot from my friendship break ups but I think the maturity these ladies have was lacking in my scenario.
Was literally checking the channel after your IG post😭😭love it here
Thank you so much for this episode, it's exactly what I am going through in my friendship. I always love your content❤.
Wisdom and Wellness Wednesday 🥳🥳💃
Thank you Mpoomy. We truly appreciate this content. It's very fruitful.
The foundation of a friendship 💯 Oh yes! Enjoyed this conversation
Kuyadelelwa 😂😂. I love how how Mpoomy listens listens 🙌. Beautiful conversation
25:48, that "Hi" though 😂😂😂😂😂 it would send me back home.
😂😂😂
This conversation Really hit home and I loved every part of it.
Yhuuu this was heavy n so genuine. This friend ship represents all our friendships. Wow! So eye-opening on many tngzzz. I'm glad these grlz bounced back hey, cz the way tngz hpnd they Wer not supposed to reconcile. But I'm glad they here now
Really enjoyed this episode. There is so much beauty in this friendship 💜
She's a safe space 😊❤
This was so beautiful ❤️. Thanky Mpoomy for having this conversation
This conversation made me cry...genuinely.
Let me mark the register ✅🙋🏻♀️
What a beautiful conversation. We all can learn something about accountability and vulnerability. Definitely believe that everything is a choice. every relationship needs two willing committed participants to see it through the seasons of life, much like with a marriage.
This was a therapy session for me🥰🥰
I really needed this😊Thank you very much Sis Mpoomy
Such an amazing conversation
This episode touched me though. Cos both Ladies are so mature. Sometimes the pressures of life can make us reject our help. I am actually mostly Sindy to my friends bt personality m Ntokozo... I keep to myself. Bt when I am in I want to hold on...il keep coming to this episodes
I don’t regret watching your content 🔥🔥
I appreciate that🤍
I love Sindy❤ But I am more like Ntokozo. It's hard admitting that you have been deeply hurt, not sure why.
People often say that "People know exactly what they are doing". And, that then makes it seem like they are intentional even about hurting us, which isn't always true. I think this has been a great example of that. Grace in friendships and relationships is very important. Curiosity as well - asking what people mean by/when they do things. Loved this. Thank you!
I really loved this episode ....."same grace we give to our partners, we should extend the same grace to friends"
Yhuu!! 😩😩Loved this and i could relate so much🥰😊❤️beautiful conversation.👏👏
I am in love with this with this episode 🥰
Just what i needed.. Thank you so much
I really love this 😢 , wow wow thank you Mpoomy
This is a beautiful conversation and it is so deep that I shared a tear for the two of you. Communication is indeed very key. An interesting one for me is the different personalities - like how do you really draw the line. Thank you for the lessons. Keep safe during the festive season.
This conversation 🥺powerful ladies ❤
Wholesome friendship content ❤️❤️❤️
Beautiful episode !! 💚
Wooow true... Friendship breakups are hard and real.
Beautiful end to a lovely season
We are here 😍😍