The most unhappiest period of my life was when I tried to fulfil all the expectations my friends, family, social circle, and the world had for me. I actually quit my job to work part-time. I don't even make half as much as I used to. But I finally feel like I can breath for a bit and live my own life now
@@doob.If that’s really how you feel, then you do indeed need to improve in 2024. Elisha is speaking to guys that have been there and done that, and have plateaued. Guys ready for something more. This rat race is killing us. Unplug.
right, it’s like you gotta improve by doing the fundamentals, kicking bad habits, staying healthy, staying consistent etc. but you just don’t want to let the self improvement pill consume you if that makes sense
Dude, lately I've been noticing that a lot of people that I've known for years (friends and family members) have become so lost in tension, stress, and worrying about things that are absolutely out of their control. Growing up and understanding that some of these peers have sort of lost their way to the "noise", as Eli diligently reminds us to avoid, makes me realize that being temperate and calm are some of the best traits one can have these days
I remember that line from the movie Fight Club "self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction".. I never thought about what it meant, but now I realize. You gotta get rid of the self and let go of everything you think you need. You're not your money, your job, your body, your looks, etc. All of that can be taken away from you. It's like you said "who are you when you let go of all of that?". Exactly, people are wasting their time building a false sense of self that they then become attached to. Everything you add just inflates the ego and becomes another part of the false identity.
Idk man the "false identity" seems to have a lot of dedication and effort to achieve, that seems more real to me than the soul core you're talking about
@@granda3649 explain this "core" to me that everyone seems to be having so much trouble stripping down to. Ive always assumed that I was the sum total of my actions and experiences
Well I skateboard and self destruction is pretty easy to do if you follow the antihero ways (skateboard camping trip). I just was on a trip like that for a month on the north east coast of Australia. Backpack + Tent + Yoga Matt + Skateboard. Camping at the skateparks parks and going to spots. Skateboarding out in the sun 4-6 hours morning and night, swimming in the oacen. Many many good sessions. I hitched hicked where ever I had a destination. Stay for a couple days to destroy the park and my self. Slammed loads. My hip got cronic. To all of this. Comes drinking, smoking, partying, girls. Bad sleep cause the tent gets so hot after the sun rises. Mosquito bites. I saw poison Spiders and Snakes. it don’t fucking matter what you still skate the next day. Sore af. Drink Coffee. Do yogo. Shred on. Skate It was rad. Felt like i was in the army on that trip. Ups and downs. Very good time and many hard times. Over all very self destructive. I was so happy when I got home into the city. Soon after I got back home I got sick with fever for a few days.
I already stopped reading self help books and all that, I recognize the more I dig deep into it, the more my brain thought something was wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me.
@@avoid222 see I’ve been trying to get some fiction to read. Is there anything you would recommend? I read King Arthur and loved it so anything along those lines.
Based. Those fuckers write that shit to fuck up your head and make you dependent on their subversive crap. Read fiction or history. Enjoy the read, get something from it that you dig. The rest is horseshit. Head up bro. Fuckem' and enjoy life.
Refreshing message. My overall health (and gains) got better once I started weightlifting 2-3 times per week instead of 4, and with a much smaller routine. Chasing the right thing for the wrong reason is almost as bad as chasing the wrong thing. Happiness comes from within. Stop chasing. Be happy and at peace.
"Chasing the right thing for the wrong reason is almost as bad as chasing the wrong thing" Exactly! This is what I always think when I hear about super healthy people that suddenly get ill and die. Likewise about people with unhealthy habits who live to be 100 just because they're totally at peace with their lifestyle. Physical health is relative to how you feel inside.
I've just been thinking about that lately. When we do self-improvement, we risk falling in the trap on never being enough. Always needing to improve oneself, to be better everyday. Nothing wrong with the sentiment in and of itself, but when it gets obsessive, we lose that calmness because we are always in a state of lacking-- making us feel incomplete until we reach that milestone, that goal. It also robs us from the present moment, leaving us chasing a better tomorrow that never truly comes.
Yep i Had that Feeling of never being where i wanted to be, No Matter what i did, it felt Like a waste, Meeting Friends i already thought of what i would do later the day and Not enjoy the momemtn
I see what you're saying, ie don't get crazy obsessive! We must live presently! But when we say we don't want to "fall into a trap of never being enough", it sounds like we're using that as a reason to NOT improve. Like a proverb to make us feel better on the inside. "Nobody is perfect don't worry!" When in reality we are nothing BUT UNIQUE PERFECT BEINGS! You can still improve daily, hourly, and not come from a place of lack! I can observe right now in this present moment, that there is always something to do, always room for improvement, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS SOMETHING to work on, and I'm totally cool with that. I looked at this dudes channel, he makes videos to help people yet this one is titled stop trying to improve. But I get what we're talking about here, tension. And ie look at people trying to improve their dating skills when in reality no book will get you laid! And as a human being, all that shit in those books should come naturally!!! But yes, SOME GOOD POINTS, some tips can help, just like these self improvement books, videos BUT WE DON'T NEED A LOT OF IT. I'm goin off because he's not the only dude online saying stuff like stop trying to improve! But on that note too, when you try hard you die hard. So keep improving but don't try toooooo hard. And for example, say you have a schedule, you're trying to improve, and miss a day of doing something, relax go with the flow, don't let something like that cause more tension.
This is the best message you’ve put out there yet man. The self improvement binging can lead to a lot of unhappiness, overthinking, and uncertainty. People that feel stressed by it are placing a lot of expectation on themselves and comparing themselves to people telling them how to think. Best thing we can do is to cultivate an internal compass that sets us on our own path for glory. An external force telling you what to do and listening to this or that advice doesn’t make you into a self reliant man. Forcing situations doesn’t always end well either. Sometimes the answer is just to unplug and find out what you really want/need to do, and forget the noise. High thumos brother. This is one of the best messages you’ve spread yet.
Bros I went full Tyler durden mode and stopped giving a F for like 8 months and it was the happiest time of my life. Granted I drank too much and made some stupid mistakes I grew so much from it. Started all my “good habits” up again and after one month I was extremely unhappy and overthinking everything. Live your life gents, live like the men used to live. Intuition and gut. You don’t need the lambos and hyper disciplined lifestyle. Enjoy it man, we only get one go at it.
@@AdolfHitler-lk4voYou can do that if you want. But you'll probably discover, through your own experience, that it is not the best way to live your life. But you might also discover that NEVER doing that stuff is also not the best way to live your life.
I don't even want a super car lol. But cars barely even matter to me at all. They get you from point A to B, and stress your finances worse than almost any other depreciating asset. I just want financial freedom and a fairly comfortable life
I think it’s about balance. I went too far on the other side of the chill spectrum with no tension and my life stagnated for about a decade - no progress in career and no real goals. I just chilled and didn’t push myself. I think complete lack of tension can also create internal tension and a nagging feeling of being unfulfilled. Striving for a balance of tension and just being okay with how you are right now is good. Some tension, seeking to better yourself in healthy doses while cutting yourself some slack, can lead to growth in the long run. For example, you don’t have to go running a million miles like Goggins, just take a daily walk of a few miles and cut back on sugary drinks if your goal is to lose some weight. Maybe lift a few days but and the maintain a consistent habit and have fun with it.
For the man living in the gym, this message is key. Personally, working out 5-6 times a week for 30-45 minutes each day, gives me the energy I need to tackle my life head on. I take a 1 week break from lifting ~ every 2 months. Improving is a natural by-product of being consistent & enjoying myself. Fulfillment, matters more than "improving". HIGH THUMOS!
“To find God, take away all that is not God” KISS principle to the T. Thanks brother. Jeremiah 29:13 “ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
I’ve been realizing lately that “awakening“ is not a process or journey that ends in finding who or what you are, but a sudden self-revolution where there’s a recognition and shedding of the false layers of a “self” that was built up over time by society, and then discovering we were perfect as can be to begin with. So self-improvement is more about not destroying what you already had, or a returning to that state from distraction. To discover the truth, one must destroy what is false. This may shake the individual to the core, because one must really question and destroy not only ideas, beliefs that one thought were true, but whatever identity or role that has been assigned to them by society, which they may hold near and dear. Furthermore, discovering, facing, and accepting who you really are requires you to destroy, or let go, who you thought you were, which can be a truly courageous act. All this must be done without any intentional efforts to “improve” oneself, or any intentional efforts at all, else it just becomes another trick of the ego to take credit, and so the ego, and the identification with it, still persists.
You're on the pulse of what needs to be said Elisha, not "Self Improvement" but embodying True Self. This is infinitely a better message than someone like Hamza calling you a "Jeffrey" for having a cheat meal once this week. Not only is that cringe but like you said there's no happiness living that way, Imagine you lived like that and maybe even got successful you'd still look back with resentment because you never obtained happiness. Being Healthy and having a community is the staples of this like you said, Thanks Elisha you're a real one.
At the beginning of the video, I was going to comment about how much I disagree. I decided to wait and just listen though, and started to slowly understand what you mean. I completely agree. Without saying too much, I went through some typical late-teens early 20s type shit that everyone hears stories about. My mind took the most stupid route possible. Thanks for making this vid Eli because it really changed my thinking a bunch. Needed to hear some real wisdom for once. I always look at the mirror with judging eyes but I think things will be a little different now. High thumos guys. Cheers to 2024
@@marvin2678 2 year breakup, butting heads w/ parents, going broke, you name it. It was a couple months ago so im still mentally recovering but im doing better now for sure.
I heard this quote once from another video which really resonated. A quote from Oliver Burkeman: "I fyou can't live a life fulfilled, at least you can live a life filled FULL." In other words, if you are in a constant cycle of trying to improve oneself, it indeed becomes you identity like Elisha said. The road to improvement is endless because you'll never be complete, nothing is ever complete in that sense, its an endless road. So live a life filled full by enjoying what you have, you dont HAVE/NEED do to anything. Go get a cigar, enjoy life because this is everything you have.
Wow, brilliant message. I feel like you put into words something I've started to feel the last few months. It's not healthy to take life so seriously and make all these things your identity. I love your advice and I want to work on letting things go and do what's true to me without getting overwhelmed by the noise. This video came out at a perfect time
People are putting way to much pressure on themselves and letting the internet and social media make them feel like pieces of crap. I think we just need to stay away from social media and live our lives. We are taking things too far.
Straight facts. This constant need to "become better/become someone" is itself tension. This chronic tension can destroy you completely, facing it myself right now. We are not meant to be releasing cortisol 24/7. This has been drilled into our mind by the matrix, the relentless "need" to progress. That so called progress is destroying us.
Great video Elisha. I realised this when I was in a mushroom trip. I thought about my life, and all I did was trying to become someone else, because I thought I wasn't good enough. I still like to workout but i decreased the amount of workouts. It became a real obsession and I think this happens to a lot of people. I also realised during that trip, that al I ever wanted, I already had. You are already good enough. It's hard to maintain this believe sometimes, because the ego keeps getting in, but we need to become present enough to feel this.
Amazing message! I dont think guys back in the old days were out here overthinking every action or habit. They had stuff to do. And if they didnt they were enjoying the fruits of their labor. Let's live and enjoy today guys! Wish you all an amazing day 💪
i can honestly relate to this so much. there was a point where self-improvement made my life worse than it was previously. just last year i was consuming so much self-imporvement content, being feeded so much information on how to fix my life that it was overwhelming and made me constantly on edge. it also made me think i had more problems than i really did. I think the cure is to step back from all this bombardment of information and take a look at your problesm from your own perspective. often the gurus online only offer bandaids to larger wounds and it's up to each individual to sit in silence and think about how to solve their problems, and avoid adopting/believing whatever you're told on the internet will help you.
It sounds like you had low-self esteem, and deep insecurities. That no matter how much you’d improve, or how many flaws you fix. That you’ll never be enough, and that there would always be another defect, that insecurities had convinced you, you had. Which further exaggerated the low self image of yourself.
like elisha said i think most people hop on self improvement due to financial reasons but also i believe it’s due to social reasons. at least for me i went into self improvement because i didn’t feel socially accepted, especially after the pandemic when my loneliness peaked and my social skills severely deteriorated. despite following self improvement for almost 3 years i still felt like shit because i lacked clarity on where my problems really came from such as a severe lack of self love and confidence it was only until i took a step back and actually introspected that i was able to finally feel somewhat good and have substance in the habits i was following. something that helped was to frame self improvement as a path to help you enjoy your life more, not as something you do to FIX your life
In some ways, everything we do is meaningless. But being someone who used to not do shit. I’ve come to realize my fitness and healthy oriented life bring me peace and a purpose to work towards.
I burnt myself out with things I "needed" to do. Not only that but my lazy friends who didn't do these things were succeeding with women. At 28, I made possibly the best decision and stopped "self improving" and began to approach women authentically. -I went from working out 6 days a week to 3 or 4 -stopped dragging myself to bars to "nightgame" and did stuff an introvert enjoys like going for walks. When I forced myself to go out I'd stay at the club until 2 am then wait for a 3am bus after being blown out. -ingored my friends telling me to "be more alpha" and similar rhetoric. I think the newest "Maxx" as internet culture likes to put it is doing nothing. Then when you stop valuing yourself on societies expectations you can truly be a free agent in life. And just to make sure I'm being clear: Stop trying doesn't mean get obese, stay in your bedroom and never workout. Stay fit, keep your job
what is "succeeding" with women? were they getting laid often or were they happy with what they got from women in general? what did you do to change specifically? how did your every day change?
@adrianoss.bougas3720 General contentment with how much genuine interest they get from women. Getting dates, "pulling" etc. I remember in my early 20s hanging out with dudes who low key trolled me for having a non existent dating life. Then when I tried to "self improve", they made fun of me or my attempts. For me "stop trying" meant socially isolating myself from these people. They took away my energy so I skipped workouts and ate junk food because it was too much to juggle work, the gym and a social life. I decided to stick with the essentials and give myself the space to focus on my problems. I don't party anymore and quit all chat rooms or groups because they functioned as destractions. Used my time off to relax and go for walks, then spurts of energy to get in a good workout. After becoming a lone wolf, the genuine interest I get from girls is going up. Since I'm not with people that increase my blood pressure I'm calm and in a flow state, hard to describe feeling. Since there's nobody to bank on or laugh at my failures
@adrianoss.bougas3720 I was getting many dates. Through approaching and getting rejected. I was very silly and just acted according to intuition. I also had some dates online. Some lead to 3rd-4th base some didn't
I just had an animal companion pass in my arms the other day. It was a glorious experience. I will carry that experience with me to the grave and remind my baby of our time on earth when I reunite with her. Compassion is the greatest skill to develop. With compassion, I prayed for my enemies in silence. With compassion, I never have to look over my shoulder. With compassion, I can excuse my neighbor's insecurities and projections. With compassion, I can become so strong that I inflict pain on my abusers by turning my cheek. With compassion, I can set an example. With compassion, I am at peace.
You need to be competent so you (and those who are dependent on you) don't get eaten by society. Anything you achieve above competence is extra, and not everyone is built for those things. So if you do go for those achievements then make sure you go for them for the right reasons.
Eli, this may be your greatest video ever, I've watched it a couple of times to really hammer the message in. Being at peace within yourself is priceless, and I feel like it actually makes you more likely to be successful as you realize you don't need anything, you want some things, which sets you free to go for what you really want and reframes it as something you want, not something you need, thus you are less frantic. It has somehow also made me a bit more in peace with my own beliefs, I always wondered how after death one would not be able to keep improving for ever and ever, but this is it, it will be, at last, being fully at peace within yourself and not needing to be bothered with anything that the flesh was bothered by. About reading, I've found that there are some works of fiction that tune you into a more imaginative, creative state, and they're the ones that you should turn to.
Man this is one of my favorite videos you’ve put out and I’ve been watching you since 2019. I’m 27 now and have been thinking this way for about the last year now. I spent a lot of my early 20s trying way too hard following all the self improvement stuff and being someone I’m not all for the sake of ego. More young guys gotta hear this. Live your life.
I see what you're saying, but personally, if I don't keep to a schedule, if I don't physically challenge myself, if I just "let go" of this measure of tension in my life, my brain goes to shit and so goes my appreciation of life.
Love that message. I got to the same thought sometime ago. However i think "self-improvement" was really important part of my life and it gave me many experiences. Now I focus on getting healthier and more social, live is getting better. Long-short story: I am a owner of pretty big (big because it's around 1000 people from Poland only) discord server that was self improvement centered, but few months ago came to us a dude that just flip over whole server and most of the people leave... It was because they couldn't handle the truth about health and themselves. Funny thing is that He was not the only one who started and continued this small revolution. I am so grateful to know these people, big brains together stronger :) Have a nice day and stay healthy!!!
I was in horrible shape for many years, ate like shit, was deep in depression, and mad as fuck that my life wasnt where it was I thought it was supposed to be. Im former combat arms, so I leaned first into plate carrier runs and calisthenics, I am not a weight lifter like I was in my 20s. Now I am perpetually in fighting shape, From 239 to 166, shredded. Calisthenics, plate carrier runs, and kettlebells. I fast from 6pm til noon the next day, and eat until surplus by 6. I am in the best shape of my life at 41, people respond to me in a much different way, I dont feel disrespected in person anymore, most times I am told I intimidate people now. I walk up right, wear fitted clothes, and carry myself with a level of respect people can recognize from a mile away. Its led me places, got me in circles I was not previously in, and provided me opportunity to leave my old ways for a better life. I maintain it now, because I have become an icon to people, an example of what it looks like when you keep going after it. I dont give a rats ass about anyone else's reason, but that's my reason. Most importantly, I have a daughter, and I'll be damned if her father is some fucking pathetic worm and she goes into life with that poor expectation of a man. I've seen what that looks like in women, and its almost worse than never having a father at all.
I self improve because what else is there to do? I just spawned on this earth one day and I’m here, existing. Might as well level up in this game of life if I’m gonna be here, that’s what makes it fun, leveling up your character/avatar. Overcoming pain and adversity is the game. I like challenges. I don’t want to live a happy peaceful smooth life, that’s boring. I want some potholes in the road. I want the adversity of pushing yourself past your perceived limits to reach your goal. I think everyone should be this way, at least to some extent
This is the second video I've seen touch on this topic. I feel like it's easy to say stop "self improving" when all the self improvement you did is a big part of what got you to the level you're at now. I agree that you can over work yourself to a point of too much tension but there's also a thing called hormesis i.e "healthy stress" that everyone needs in their lives. I hope you can articulate the importance of finding that balance in a future video because telling young men to completely stop self improving is not the move!
The problem is it's difficult for a young person to conceptualize the state of being he finds himself in now, after having gone through the process. He does actually state the balance though, which is being physically healthy and removing 'noise'. When you do this you realize that you were already fine to begin with, it was actually just society convinced you in your youth that you weren't and needed products, women, etc. Society also does its best to diminish and toxify your body and mind, to keep you stuck and dependent. Tension is important - the eunuch doesn't have it. The trick is to understand how it influences your thinking and leaves the door open for society to get its tentacles into your mind. Young men need faith more than self improvement, but faith in ones Self and not any externality.
There’s something in this for a lot of people I’m sure. But I went through a self-improvement phase and I’m way happier now. Less things bother me, I’m more capable and competent, and now I’m conditioned to prioritizing my mission and not falling to temptations as much. I did the cold showers, meditation, and whatever else fits under modern trendy self improvements. If I mess up, no big deal. Every bad day builds character.
It’s all coming full circle. We’re so into self improvement, take that away and what are you? So whenever you’re not improving yourself (out shopping with family, going to the movies, etc.) or doing something productive, you don’t feel like a man, you feel like crap because that’s what you identify as. You shouldn’t build your Identity around anything or you feel like nothing without it, this is good advice. Instead workout for your body and health that way you don’t identify as that. It’s simply a mental change. And while it’s better to be obsessed with self improvement than taking drugs or something, Identifying with anything in your life isn’t a healthy way.
I think you’re right, I’ve felt over the past 4 years I’ve become lost in the noise of all this crazy shit the world throws at us. My girl has taught me this without really saying it, and I took it for granted, she’s not a modern worldly woman and loves fiction. I think it’s time to unsubscribe from the BS and get stuck into a book, breathe and be happy for the ones around me. Thanks for this video bud, it really helped me come back.
thank you brother. I needed to hear that, especially right now. My life is drastically changing and spiritually different and just my whole BEING, physically and mentally, financially and emotionally, there is just so much but brother, THANK YOU FOR THAT MESSAGE. It ended opened loops in my mind about cold showers, ice cream only sometimes, actually RELAXING and stop STRESSING, tensing up, having PEACE inside, and certain things you said I realized recently but also things you said that I REALLY NEEDED TO HEAR and it's as if you heard my mind and spoke over it!! Thank you BROTHER! God bless you Man...I am not one to get real with suicidal thoughts or actions, but this is the most, just UN REAL dark and odd but peaceful and good season and I've never been SOOOO angry at GOD and Jesus and the devil is just lingering closer and closer. I still seek GOD and LOVE JESUS, but I'm so ANGRY and STRESSED TF out and my mind sometimes just can't deal with it but I KEEP GOIN, never GIVE UP as a SPARTAN WARRIOR FOR THE LORD, yet I feel like I have no stance to even say I'm a Warrior for Jesus cuz I'm so mad at him for reasons I'm not going to share here...anyway, thank you, Farewell Comrade!!
bro i totally get that feeling of anger you have. just remember, Christ is a peaceful God who wants to help you let go of that stress and tension. sometimes it takes time, but He’s there in the process. John 14:27
We need tension to rise, but at some point we need to let it go and see the landscape a bit, get a bit comfy, maintain a bit. But then you have to voluntarily decide if you want the tension again or not. Most don't want the tension again, but pressure creates diamonds, and most people don't want pressure, for a good reason. Jerry Seinfeld has a story about how when you're exceptional, you look into the average family life, and you don't want that, you don't want the health and the kids, you want the tension. It takes a rare human being to be like that, but talking down to them doesn't make sense. Nietzsche talks about "down-going", and how the greatest of men constantly confront the weakest part of themselves to self-transcend, to become the opposite of a last man. In the landscape of consumerism and last men, it doesn't make much sense to discourage self improvement. You also have to remember that there is physical as well as spiritual improvement, most today focus on the former not the latter, which can lead to burnout. Even the monks in the monasteries had the goal of improving their spiritual life, to get spiritually nourished. You get spiritual nourishment through community and a functioning church, which is becoming increasingly rare, but it's clearly something you've identified as equally important, and it is, so I appreciate the message.
I am happy I stumbled upon this particular video.Improvement should come naturally,gradually and easy,from a place of healthy self-love,it shouldn't become an obsession,we should be happy with becoming our becoming.
The problem is inflation is gonna get worse.. So I get an urgue feeling pushing myself making money. But deep down money means nothing to me. It gives me a little bit freedom from this brainwashed society@@TheCrusader_
I quit reading self help books about a year ago. Some things can be learned but by and large you’re not going to “unlock” some hidden secrets no one else knows by reading every self help book under the sun.
You are whole! You think in the future you will be better. You are whole NOW. You are awesome Now! BE PRESENT! BE WHO YOU ARE NOW. ACCEPT IT AND BE AT PEACE
this actually made me think. feel like ive been living the past two years in spite of my ex gf, I look like a beast right now but on second thought my whole mentality might be fucked up. I've lost sight of goals I had just because I wanted or was inspired by something, a lot of them have become about being better than the rest, being a step ahead of them on the journey. Weak shit.
"The way you discover yourself is by removing things that are not your own thoughts." Deeply appreciate this message, the same as in the video about quitting podcasts. Cut down on podcasts myself, which helped quite a bit in gaining better mental clarity. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, High Thumos!
💯 Too much of anything is bad for you. That includes personal development and self improvement in access/extreme amounts to the point where you’re not even happy with yourself.
I already know all of this for some time now, but I keep forgetting it. Its like every morning I wake up I have a kind of amnesia and im back to "grinding". Thaks for reminding me brother :)
There are some really excellent observations in this vid. I loved the part where you talk about "the common denominator" in pretty much 99.9% of the self-help gurus, motivational gurus, and content creators. What do they all have in common? The belief that at the end of it all, the thing that will ultimately matter the most in your life, is money and material success. They try to avoid such an indictment by saying, "money matters". And yes, yes money DOES matter, TO A POINT. It's good to have solid earning power. It's good to have money saved up for what the bible refers to as "the evil day". But we have plenty of examples of men who have more money than they could ever conceivably use, and men who are utterly destitute and have nothing. The one truth that we all tend to shy away from and avoid is that all men share a common fate, and that is mortality and DEATH. Whatever you earn, whatever you acquire, whatever you create, whatever you do, you are going to leave it ALL behind. And to whom? You don't know. You may think you know. You may think you can control what happens after your death, by leaving some sort of "legacy". And you wouldn't be the first fool to believe it. Study ancient Egyptian history. Each Pharoah that ascended to the throne, made a point to build monuments to himself, to try and one up the previous Pharoah. Going one step further, each ascending Pharoah would have the name of the previous one struck from monuments in order to emphasize his own "greatness". So it goes with men. One last point. The wealthiest man to ever have lived was supposed to be King Solomon, and in the end, it made him BITTER. Men, choose wisdom, and remember your place before God.
I cannot lie, I've never seen a video like this and after listening deeply to this video will never listen to this video again. I've never seen someone say you don''t need money. How does one take care of their family without it. Self improvement brings tension and blocks creativity. Self improvement pillars focusses on mindful meditation, presence in social situations, deep breathing allows you to calm your nerves and remove the tension inside of you. I'm not sure what videos or who you follow but self improvement has ironically improved. I trust Men who are on self improvement than not.
For me it's about being in the moment. All things in moderation. My woman likes the way I am and let's face it, were not youngsters. I work in a busy industry and I just need to keep focused, stay healthy and happy.
'i had to observe this to my own self first and then i saw it on other people too . I was putting others expectations ahead of my own all the time , mostly on my dating life . Then i realized i just had to look deep within myself and i had to ask what are the things i want to express , what are the gifts that "I" want to give to other people around me . With my actions it was like telling myself to "shut up just do what the other people might want from you , so you get validation and love " . As i started though listening to myself , i realized that i already have everything that i want , i am already enough and going from this base i can ask myself now "what experiences would you like to create in the short amount you are going to live , who do you want to become ?" . Then i had my epiphany , because i stopped asking other people (parents , relatives , siblings etc) if what i was doing with my life is good , i was looking within myself .
The Zen philosopher Alan Watts said that self improvement is a contradiction, because the person doing the improving is the very person in need of improvement.
"improving yourself is a contradiction because if you do it it's because you need to" is the dumbest, most self defeating and fatuous nonsense ever spewed forth from a human cakehole. I suppose you'd think "Medicine is a contradiction because only people who are unwell need it" is a wise statement if you heard some pompous Englishman say it in a "wise and intelligent" in a condescending, smug tone of pomposity too?
The leanest I think I ever got was like 10 to 12% bf and maintained it for years and ended up with gut health problems and not great mood swings. I’d rather just be around 15 to 20% and feel better, and not feel exhausted all the time
Spot on! Literally realized this after years of improvement! All I was stressed all the time! I got super lean last year and realized all it did was make me more insecure!
Sound perspective 👌. I had seen "self improvement" as improvement from the inside to the outside. The perspective you had on it was completely different to how I view it. But I see how that can be a trap that you can fall into. The self improvement begins when You break down your "ego". You explained it extremely well. And you gave me further insights and a great reminder to take a step back and enjoy life. My curiosity of the mind, life, music and our experience here, is what drives me forward. Although there are similar traps in this pursuit of exploration also. A healthy reminder to let be be, so you can be.
3-4 days is going to be the sweet spot for many. Lifting 5-6 days a week can be fine, but a lot of people are going to run into recovery issues and actually make worse progress.
Feels good to be ok with where you are rn. How many days and events i made harder for myself and my family.stuck in the clouds, wishing i was somewhere else in stature. Life is literally better than it has ever been for me.
Normally I try to not stop till the end of videos before commenting but just here to say your way of telling things and speaking has really improved in these last videos. Like when you were telling about Jujitsu and said "If you are tense, you tire yourself up much quicker" it was really thought provoking and linked to subject even though you were telling it like a normal thing in your life. I think the theme of your last video "I'm quitting podcasts" (you mentioned the importance of conversations rather than a passive listening ) also improved your ability to talk.
I think it’s important to emphasize the reduction of stress. Enjoying life doesn’t mean you have to constantly feel happy. This’ll only lead to hedonism. Enjoying life is about being content with who you are as a man or a woman. To not be ashamed and to not stress about things you don’t have to stress about. Your life becomes a lot simpler if your goal is to be able to look back on your life and think damn, this was good.
I appreciate this message because I’m taking February to reset my overwhelming thoughts and just get healthy. I’ve been working a labor intense job far away from family and friends and I haven’t given myself the time to settle in.
My theory: Get as many indoor and outdoor survival skills as possible. When the world-wide system collapses and is finally finished you will easily be adapted to living that costs you less and even then, living off the grid will be a doddle!👍💯
I needed to hear this,man Having the biggest wallet, biggest muscles and all these things to look attractive and justify our existence Not living life for ourself. Life can be extremely shallow these days but it doesn’t have to be
"He who subdues himself, shall be free" ~The Buddah -Good video, well said bro, perfection is not when there is nothing more to add, but nothing more to take away.
Buddha received enlightenment from the serpent under a tree no thanks Whoever Believes has eternal Life ✅ believing in the death burial resurrection blood ALONE Romans 3,19,26 Amen
The most unhappiest period of my life was when I tried to fulfil all the expectations my friends, family, social circle, and the world had for me. I actually quit my job to work part-time. I don't even make half as much as I used to. But I finally feel like I can breath for a bit and live my own life now
I still dont See the Problem with self improvem t
@@marvin2678, there's nothing wrong with it. people make it their personality to be the "self improvement guy".
You survive on part time wages? Where do you live? Have roommates?
f that. get a high paying job as much as u can, grind it out til u can reach financial independence and than u can really enjoy fruits of ur labor
@@highlevelproductions Unless you die before you get to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Ecclesiastes is the most sobering book in the Bible to me, "all is vanity" "there is nothing new under the sun"
Written by one of the most absurdly prosperous kings of the ancient world. He knew.
And one of the wisest :)
Nice profile picture
Woah. Real.
Buddha said something quite similar .
World is suffering .
2024: Stop self improving, enjoy your life
“enjoy your life” is too vague bro
Enjoy your life and self improve
@@doob.If that’s really how you feel, then you do indeed need to improve in 2024.
Elisha is speaking to guys that have been there and done that, and have plateaued. Guys ready for something more. This rat race is killing us. Unplug.
right, it’s like you gotta improve by doing the fundamentals, kicking bad habits, staying healthy, staying consistent etc. but you just don’t want to let the self improvement pill consume you if that makes sense
That cat looks so nice and friendly, I want to pat it
Dude, lately I've been noticing that a lot of people that I've known for years (friends and family members) have become so lost in tension, stress, and worrying about things that are absolutely out of their control. Growing up and understanding that some of these peers have sort of lost their way to the "noise", as Eli diligently reminds us to avoid, makes me realize that being temperate and calm are some of the best traits one can have these days
Society is very sick. But yes its a very beneficial trait to be able to ignore it.
I remember that line from the movie Fight Club "self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction".. I never thought about what it meant, but now I realize. You gotta get rid of the self and let go of everything you think you need. You're not your money, your job, your body, your looks, etc. All of that can be taken away from you. It's like you said "who are you when you let go of all of that?". Exactly, people are wasting their time building a false sense of self that they then become attached to. Everything you add just inflates the ego and becomes another part of the false identity.
Idk man the "false identity" seems to have a lot of dedication and effort to achieve, that seems more real to me than the soul core you're talking about
@@omniXenderman But you can't build your house on the sand. If your core is bad, everything else is vanity. But there is another way. ✝️
@@omniXenderman just because you put a lot of effort into it doesn’t mean it’s more real or has more value.
It’s a castle of sand.
@@granda3649 explain this "core" to me that everyone seems to be having so much trouble stripping down to. Ive always assumed that I was the sum total of my actions and experiences
Well I skateboard and self destruction is pretty easy to do if you follow the antihero ways (skateboard camping trip). I just was on a trip like that for a month on the north east coast of Australia. Backpack + Tent + Yoga Matt + Skateboard.
Camping at the skateparks parks and going to spots. Skateboarding out in the sun 4-6 hours morning and night, swimming in the oacen. Many many good sessions. I hitched hicked where ever I had a destination. Stay for a couple days to destroy the park and my self. Slammed loads. My hip got cronic. To all of this. Comes drinking, smoking, partying, girls. Bad sleep cause the tent gets so hot after the sun rises. Mosquito bites. I saw poison Spiders and Snakes. it don’t fucking matter what you still skate the next day. Sore af. Drink Coffee. Do yogo. Shred on. Skate
It was rad.
Felt like i was in the army on that trip. Ups and downs. Very good time and many hard times.
Over all very self destructive. I was so happy when I got home into the city.
Soon after I got back home I got sick with fever for a few days.
I already stopped reading self help books and all that, I recognize the more I dig deep into it, the more my brain thought something was wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me.
You’re better off just reading books on the Crusades or ancient cities.
This is facts. Read a fiction book and enjoy it. Way better for you
@@avoid222 see I’ve been trying to get some fiction to read. Is there anything you would recommend? I read King Arthur and loved it so anything along those lines.
You are not perfect mate.
Based. Those fuckers write that shit to fuck up your head and make you dependent on their subversive crap.
Read fiction or history.
Enjoy the read, get something from it that you dig. The rest is horseshit. Head up bro. Fuckem' and enjoy life.
Refreshing message. My overall health (and gains) got better once I started weightlifting 2-3 times per week instead of 4, and with a much smaller routine.
Chasing the right thing for the wrong reason is almost as bad as chasing the wrong thing.
Happiness comes from within. Stop chasing. Be happy and at peace.
Interesting. Did you decrease the volume too?
"Chasing the right thing for the wrong reason is almost as bad as chasing the wrong thing"
Exactly! This is what I always think when I hear about super healthy people that suddenly get ill and die.
Likewise about people with unhealthy habits who live to be 100 just because they're totally at peace with their lifestyle.
Physical health is relative to how you feel inside.
@@profundus8946Those are exceptions though. Statistically speaking.
I've just been thinking about that lately. When we do self-improvement, we risk falling in the trap on never being enough. Always needing to improve oneself, to be better everyday. Nothing wrong with the sentiment in and of itself, but when it gets obsessive, we lose that calmness because we are always in a state of lacking-- making us feel incomplete until we reach that milestone, that goal. It also robs us from the present moment, leaving us chasing a better tomorrow that never truly comes.
Yep i Had that Feeling of never being where i wanted to be, No Matter what i did, it felt Like a waste, Meeting Friends i already thought of what i would do later the day and Not enjoy the momemtn
I see what you're saying, ie don't get crazy obsessive! We must live presently! But when we say we don't want to "fall into a trap of never being enough", it sounds like we're using that as a reason to NOT improve. Like a proverb to make us feel better on the inside. "Nobody is perfect don't worry!" When in reality we are nothing BUT UNIQUE PERFECT BEINGS! You can still improve daily, hourly, and not come from a place of lack! I can observe right now in this present moment, that there is always something to do, always room for improvement, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS SOMETHING to work on, and I'm totally cool with that. I looked at this dudes channel, he makes videos to help people yet this one is titled stop trying to improve. But I get what we're talking about here, tension. And ie look at people trying to improve their dating skills when in reality no book will get you laid! And as a human being, all that shit in those books should come naturally!!! But yes, SOME GOOD POINTS, some tips can help, just like these self improvement books, videos BUT WE DON'T NEED A LOT OF IT.
I'm goin off because he's not the only dude online saying stuff like stop trying to improve! But on that note too, when you try hard you die hard. So keep improving but don't try toooooo hard. And for example, say you have a schedule, you're trying to improve, and miss a day of doing something, relax go with the flow, don't let something like that cause more tension.
💯💯
This is the best message you’ve put out there yet man. The self improvement binging can lead to a lot of unhappiness, overthinking, and uncertainty.
People that feel stressed by it are placing a lot of expectation on themselves and comparing themselves to people telling them how to think.
Best thing we can do is to cultivate an internal compass that sets us on our own path for glory.
An external force telling you what to do and listening to this or that advice doesn’t make you into a self reliant man. Forcing situations doesn’t always end well either. Sometimes the answer is just to unplug and find out what you really want/need to do, and forget the noise.
High thumos brother. This is one of the best messages you’ve spread yet.
Bros I went full Tyler durden mode and stopped giving a F for like 8 months and it was the happiest time of my life. Granted I drank too much and made some stupid mistakes I grew so much from it. Started all my “good habits” up again and after one month I was extremely unhappy and overthinking everything. Live your life gents, live like the men used to live. Intuition and gut. You don’t need the lambos and hyper disciplined lifestyle. Enjoy it man, we only get one go at it.
so we should just drink and not do good habits? i dont think thats the way to go
@@AdolfHitler-lk4voLol, be disciplined in the work you do, otherwise do not be so rigid you fail to see the beauty in life’s unexpected events.
@@AdolfHitler-lk4voYou can do that if you want. But you'll probably discover, through your own experience, that it is not the best way to live your life. But you might also discover that NEVER doing that stuff is also not the best way to live your life.
I don't even want a super car lol. But cars barely even matter to me at all. They get you from point A to B, and stress your finances worse than almost any other depreciating asset. I just want financial freedom and a fairly comfortable life
I think it’s about balance. I went too far on the other side of the chill spectrum with no tension and my life stagnated for about a decade - no progress in career and no real goals. I just chilled and didn’t push myself.
I think complete lack of tension can also create internal tension and a nagging feeling of being unfulfilled.
Striving for a balance of tension and just being okay with how you are right now is good. Some tension, seeking to better yourself in healthy doses while cutting yourself some slack, can lead to growth in the long run.
For example, you don’t have to go running a million miles like Goggins, just take a daily walk of a few miles and cut back on sugary drinks if your goal is to lose some weight. Maybe lift a few days but and the maintain a consistent habit and have fun with it.
For the man living in the gym, this message is key. Personally, working out 5-6 times a week for 30-45 minutes each day, gives me the energy I need to tackle my life head on. I take a 1 week break from lifting ~ every 2 months. Improving is a natural by-product of being consistent & enjoying myself. Fulfillment, matters more than "improving". HIGH THUMOS!
“To find God, take away all that is not God” KISS principle to the T. Thanks brother. Jeremiah 29:13 “ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
I’ve been realizing lately that “awakening“ is not a process or journey that ends in finding who or what you are, but a sudden self-revolution where there’s a recognition and shedding of the false layers of a “self” that was built up over time by society, and then discovering we were perfect as can be to begin with. So self-improvement is more about not destroying what you already had, or a returning to that state from distraction. To discover the truth, one must destroy what is false. This may shake the individual to the core, because one must really question and destroy not only ideas, beliefs that one thought were true, but whatever identity or role that has been assigned to them by society, which they may hold near and dear. Furthermore, discovering, facing, and accepting who you really are requires you to destroy, or let go, who you thought you were, which can be a truly courageous act.
All this must be done without any intentional efforts to “improve” oneself, or any intentional efforts at all, else it just becomes another trick of the ego to take credit, and so the ego, and the identification with it, still persists.
You're on the pulse of what needs to be said Elisha, not "Self Improvement" but embodying True Self. This is infinitely a better message than someone like Hamza calling you a "Jeffrey" for having a cheat meal once this week. Not only is that cringe but like you said there's no happiness living that way, Imagine you lived like that and maybe even got successful you'd still look back with resentment because you never obtained happiness. Being Healthy and having a community is the staples of this like you said, Thanks Elisha you're a real one.
At the beginning of the video, I was going to comment about how much I disagree. I decided to wait and just listen though, and started to slowly understand what you mean. I completely agree. Without saying too much, I went through some typical late-teens early 20s type shit that everyone hears stories about. My mind took the most stupid route possible. Thanks for making this vid Eli because it really changed my thinking a bunch. Needed to hear some real wisdom for once. I always look at the mirror with judging eyes but I think things will be a little different now. High thumos guys. Cheers to 2024
What early 20s Type Shit do you mean ?
@@marvin2678 2 year breakup, butting heads w/ parents, going broke, you name it. It was a couple months ago so im still mentally recovering but im doing better now for sure.
Amen
I heard this quote once from another video which really resonated. A quote from Oliver Burkeman: "I fyou can't live a life fulfilled, at least you can live a life filled FULL."
In other words, if you are in a constant cycle of trying to improve oneself, it indeed becomes you identity like Elisha said. The road to improvement is endless because you'll never be complete, nothing is ever complete in that sense, its an endless road. So live a life filled full by enjoying what you have, you dont HAVE/NEED do to anything. Go get a cigar, enjoy life because this is everything you have.
Elisha you’ve been an instrumental force in my life this past year. God bless you.
Wow, brilliant message. I feel like you put into words something I've started to feel the last few months. It's not healthy to take life so seriously and make all these things your identity. I love your advice and I want to work on letting things go and do what's true to me without getting overwhelmed by the noise. This video came out at a perfect time
People are putting way to much pressure on themselves and letting the internet and social media make them feel like pieces of crap. I think we just need to stay away from social media and live our lives. We are taking things too far.
Straight facts. This constant need to "become better/become someone" is itself tension. This chronic tension can destroy you completely, facing it myself right now. We are not meant to be releasing cortisol 24/7. This has been drilled into our mind by the matrix, the relentless "need" to progress. That so called progress is destroying us.
Great video Elisha. I realised this when I was in a mushroom trip. I thought about my life, and all I did was trying to become someone else, because I thought I wasn't good enough. I still like to workout but i decreased the amount of workouts. It became a real obsession and I think this happens to a lot of people. I also realised during that trip, that al I ever wanted, I already had. You are already good enough. It's hard to maintain this believe sometimes, because the ego keeps getting in, but we need to become present enough to feel this.
Amazing message! I dont think guys back in the old days were out here overthinking every action or habit. They had stuff to do. And if they didnt they were enjoying the fruits of their labor. Let's live and enjoy today guys! Wish you all an amazing day 💪
i can honestly relate to this so much. there was a point where self-improvement made my life worse than it was previously. just last year i was consuming so much self-imporvement content, being feeded so much information on how to fix my life that it was overwhelming and made me constantly on edge. it also made me think i had more problems than i really did.
I think the cure is to step back from all this bombardment of information and take a look at your problesm from your own perspective. often the gurus online only offer bandaids to larger wounds and it's up to each individual to sit in silence and think about how to solve their problems, and avoid adopting/believing whatever you're told on the internet will help you.
What Problems did you discover ?
It sounds like you had low-self esteem, and deep insecurities. That no matter how much you’d improve, or how many flaws you fix. That you’ll never be enough, and that there would always be another defect, that insecurities had convinced you, you had. Which further exaggerated the low self image of yourself.
like elisha said i think most people hop on self improvement due to financial reasons but also i believe it’s due to social reasons. at least for me i went into self improvement because i didn’t feel socially accepted, especially after the pandemic when my loneliness peaked and my social skills severely deteriorated.
despite following self improvement for almost 3 years i still felt like shit because i lacked clarity on where my problems really came from such as a severe lack of self love and confidence
it was only until i took a step back and actually introspected that i was able to finally feel somewhat good and have substance in the habits i was following.
something that helped was to frame self improvement as a path to help you enjoy your life more, not as something you do to FIX your life
@@Renj-1 yea i've only recently realized that too. thanks this really helped affirm my thoughts
In some ways, everything we do is meaningless. But being someone who used to not do shit. I’ve come to realize my fitness and healthy oriented life bring me peace and a purpose to work towards.
The best advice on youtube and the only 'self-help' youtuber i actually trust.
”If you seek tranquility, do less” -Marcus Aurelius
Well needed video in today's times. Thanks
I burnt myself out with things I "needed" to do. Not only that but my lazy friends who didn't do these things were succeeding with women. At 28, I made possibly the best decision and stopped "self improving" and began to approach women authentically.
-I went from working out 6 days a week to 3 or 4
-stopped dragging myself to bars to "nightgame" and did stuff an introvert enjoys like going for walks. When I forced myself to go out I'd stay at the club until 2 am then wait for a 3am bus after being blown out.
-ingored my friends telling me to "be more alpha" and similar rhetoric.
I think the newest "Maxx" as internet culture likes to put it is doing nothing. Then when you stop valuing yourself on societies expectations you can truly be a free agent in life.
And just to make sure I'm being clear: Stop trying doesn't mean get obese, stay in your bedroom and never workout. Stay fit, keep your job
what is "succeeding" with women? were they getting laid often or were they happy with what they got from women in general?
what did you do to change specifically? how did your every day change?
@adrianoss.bougas3720 General contentment with how much genuine interest they get from women. Getting dates, "pulling" etc. I remember in my early 20s hanging out with dudes who low key trolled me for having a non existent dating life. Then when I tried to "self improve", they made fun of me or my attempts.
For me "stop trying" meant socially isolating myself from these people. They took away my energy so I skipped workouts and ate junk food because it was too much to juggle work, the gym and a social life.
I decided to stick with the essentials and give myself the space to focus on my problems. I don't party anymore and quit all chat rooms or groups because they functioned as destractions. Used my time off to relax and go for walks, then spurts of energy to get in a good workout.
After becoming a lone wolf, the genuine interest I get from girls is going up. Since I'm not with people that increase my blood pressure I'm calm and in a flow state, hard to describe feeling. Since there's nobody to bank on or laugh at my failures
"stop trying" is also "you're gonna lose, slow down."
time supposedly speeds up when you go fast, but slows down when you go slow, methodically.
@adrianoss.bougas3720 I was getting many dates. Through approaching and getting rejected. I was very silly and just acted according to intuition. I also had some dates online. Some lead to 3rd-4th base some didn't
I just had an animal companion pass in my arms the other day. It was a glorious experience. I will carry that experience with me to the grave and remind my baby of our time on earth when I reunite with her.
Compassion is the greatest skill to develop.
With compassion, I prayed for my enemies in silence. With compassion, I never have to look over my shoulder. With compassion, I can excuse my neighbor's insecurities and projections. With compassion, I can become so strong that I inflict pain on my abusers by turning my cheek. With compassion, I can set an example. With compassion, I am at peace.
Sorry for your loss. We often underestimate exactly how much love and joy we nurture between our pets and ourselves. Outstanding mentality.
You need to be competent so you (and those who are dependent on you) don't get eaten by society. Anything you achieve above competence is extra, and not everyone is built for those things. So if you do go for those achievements then make sure you go for them for the right reasons.
Eli, this may be your greatest video ever, I've watched it a couple of times to really hammer the message in. Being at peace within yourself is priceless, and I feel like it actually makes you more likely to be successful as you realize you don't need anything, you want some things, which sets you free to go for what you really want and reframes it as something you want, not something you need, thus you are less frantic.
It has somehow also made me a bit more in peace with my own beliefs, I always wondered how after death one would not be able to keep improving for ever and ever, but this is it, it will be, at last, being fully at peace within yourself and not needing to be bothered with anything that the flesh was bothered by.
About reading, I've found that there are some works of fiction that tune you into a more imaginative, creative state, and they're the ones that you should turn to.
Man this is one of my favorite videos you’ve put out and I’ve been watching you since 2019. I’m 27 now and have been thinking this way for about the last year now. I spent a lot of my early 20s trying way too hard following all the self improvement stuff and being someone I’m not all for the sake of ego. More young guys gotta hear this. Live your life.
I see what you're saying, but personally, if I don't keep to a schedule, if I don't physically challenge myself, if I just "let go" of this measure of tension in my life, my brain goes to shit and so goes my appreciation of life.
Love that message. I got to the same thought sometime ago. However i think "self-improvement" was really important part of my life and it gave me many experiences.
Now I focus on getting healthier and more social, live is getting better.
Long-short story: I am a owner of pretty big (big because it's around 1000 people from Poland only) discord server that was self improvement centered, but few months ago came to us a dude that just flip over whole server and most of the people leave... It was because they couldn't handle the truth about health and themselves. Funny thing is that He was not the only one who started and continued this small revolution.
I am so grateful to know these people, big brains together stronger :)
Have a nice day and stay healthy!!!
I was in horrible shape for many years, ate like shit, was deep in depression, and mad as fuck that my life wasnt where it was I thought it was supposed to be. Im former combat arms, so I leaned first into plate carrier runs and calisthenics, I am not a weight lifter like I was in my 20s. Now I am perpetually in fighting shape, From 239 to 166, shredded. Calisthenics, plate carrier runs, and kettlebells. I fast from 6pm til noon the next day, and eat until surplus by 6. I am in the best shape of my life at 41, people respond to me in a much different way, I dont feel disrespected in person anymore, most times I am told I intimidate people now. I walk up right, wear fitted clothes, and carry myself with a level of respect people can recognize from a mile away. Its led me places, got me in circles I was not previously in, and provided me opportunity to leave my old ways for a better life. I maintain it now, because I have become an icon to people, an example of what it looks like when you keep going after it. I dont give a rats ass about anyone else's reason, but that's my reason. Most importantly, I have a daughter, and I'll be damned if her father is some fucking pathetic worm and she goes into life with that poor expectation of a man. I've seen what that looks like in women, and its almost worse than never having a father at all.
I self improve because what else is there to do? I just spawned on this earth one day and I’m here, existing. Might as well level up in this game of life if I’m gonna be here, that’s what makes it fun, leveling up your character/avatar. Overcoming pain and adversity is the game. I like challenges. I don’t want to live a happy peaceful smooth life, that’s boring. I want some potholes in the road. I want the adversity of pushing yourself past your perceived limits to reach your goal. I think everyone should be this way, at least to some extent
Been watching you for years bro and seeing how you are developing too. Thank you for these videos bro, you’re doing great!
This is the second video I've seen touch on this topic. I feel like it's easy to say stop "self improving" when all the self improvement you did is a big part of what got you to the level you're at now. I agree that you can over work yourself to a point of too much tension but there's also a thing called hormesis i.e "healthy stress" that everyone needs in their lives. I hope you can articulate the importance of finding that balance in a future video because telling young men to completely stop self improving is not the move!
The problem is it's difficult for a young person to conceptualize the state of being he finds himself in now, after having gone through the process. He does actually state the balance though, which is being physically healthy and removing 'noise'. When you do this you realize that you were already fine to begin with, it was actually just society convinced you in your youth that you weren't and needed products, women, etc. Society also does its best to diminish and toxify your body and mind, to keep you stuck and dependent.
Tension is important - the eunuch doesn't have it. The trick is to understand how it influences your thinking and leaves the door open for society to get its tentacles into your mind. Young men need faith more than self improvement, but faith in ones Self and not any externality.
There’s something in this for a lot of people I’m sure. But I went through a self-improvement phase and I’m way happier now.
Less things bother me, I’m more capable and competent, and now I’m conditioned to prioritizing my mission and not falling to temptations as much. I did the cold showers, meditation, and whatever else fits under modern trendy self improvements.
If I mess up, no big deal. Every bad day builds character.
It’s all coming full circle. We’re so into self improvement, take that away and what are you? So whenever you’re not improving yourself (out shopping with family, going to the movies, etc.) or doing something productive, you don’t feel like a man, you feel like crap because that’s what you identify as. You shouldn’t build your Identity around anything or you feel like nothing without it, this is good advice. Instead workout for your body and health that way you don’t identify as that. It’s simply a mental change. And while it’s better to be obsessed with self improvement than taking drugs or something, Identifying with anything in your life isn’t a healthy way.
Doing less. Best I ever looked and felt no tracking calories lifting running based on feel eating organic Whole Foods.
I think you’re right, I’ve felt over the past 4 years I’ve become lost in the noise of all this crazy shit the world throws at us.
My girl has taught me this without really saying it, and I took it for granted, she’s not a modern worldly woman and loves fiction.
I think it’s time to unsubscribe from the BS and get stuck into a book, breathe and be happy for the ones around me.
Thanks for this video bud, it really helped me come back.
be who you are and turn the world off that is where confidence comes from
God bless you, man. I think a lot of people need to hear this. 🙏
This is no joke, straight up, sound advice! I have lived this way for a long time, I get told all the time I’m the most joyful/happy person they know.
Absolutely love your talks brother. Needed this one today. God bless you sir
thank you brother. I needed to hear that, especially right now. My life is drastically changing and spiritually different and just my whole BEING, physically and mentally, financially and emotionally, there is just so much but brother, THANK YOU FOR THAT MESSAGE. It ended opened loops in my mind about cold showers, ice cream only sometimes, actually RELAXING and stop STRESSING, tensing up, having PEACE inside, and certain things you said I realized recently but also things you said that I REALLY NEEDED TO HEAR and it's as if you heard my mind and spoke over it!! Thank you BROTHER! God bless you Man...I am not one to get real with suicidal thoughts or actions, but this is the most, just UN REAL dark and odd but peaceful and good season and I've never been SOOOO angry at GOD and Jesus and the devil is just lingering closer and closer. I still seek GOD and LOVE JESUS, but I'm so ANGRY and STRESSED TF out and my mind sometimes just can't deal with it but I KEEP GOIN, never GIVE UP as a SPARTAN WARRIOR FOR THE LORD, yet I feel like I have no stance to even say I'm a Warrior for Jesus cuz I'm so mad at him for reasons I'm not going to share here...anyway, thank you, Farewell Comrade!!
bro i totally get that feeling of anger you have. just remember, Christ is a peaceful God who wants to help you let go of that stress and tension. sometimes it takes time, but He’s there in the process. John 14:27
We need tension to rise, but at some point we need to let it go and see the landscape a bit, get a bit comfy, maintain a bit. But then you have to voluntarily decide if you want the tension again or not. Most don't want the tension again, but pressure creates diamonds, and most people don't want pressure, for a good reason. Jerry Seinfeld has a story about how when you're exceptional, you look into the average family life, and you don't want that, you don't want the health and the kids, you want the tension. It takes a rare human being to be like that, but talking down to them doesn't make sense. Nietzsche talks about "down-going", and how the greatest of men constantly confront the weakest part of themselves to self-transcend, to become the opposite of a last man. In the landscape of consumerism and last men, it doesn't make much sense to discourage self improvement. You also have to remember that there is physical as well as spiritual improvement, most today focus on the former not the latter, which can lead to burnout. Even the monks in the monasteries had the goal of improving their spiritual life, to get spiritually nourished. You get spiritual nourishment through community and a functioning church, which is becoming increasingly rare, but it's clearly something you've identified as equally important, and it is, so I appreciate the message.
“Tension destroys spontaneity” that’s a bar
Spot on man. People have forgotten what's really important in life. It's really a shame.
I am happy I stumbled upon this particular video.Improvement should come naturally,gradually and easy,from a place of healthy self-love,it shouldn't become an obsession,we should be happy with becoming our becoming.
Alot of people attempt to say that word “spontaneity” and you hit it right on the button good shit bro
Just treat yourself like you love yourself enough to take care of yourself
THE ONLY PROBLEME IS THAT WE ARE BROKE
Broke? What is it that you think you need? How many Jordan’s or homes will you buy before you’re actually happy? How comfortable can you be?
The problem is inflation is gonna get worse.. So I get an urgue feeling pushing myself making money. But deep down money means nothing to me. It gives me a little bit freedom from this brainwashed society@@TheCrusader_
@@TheCrusader_ WE NEED MONEY ANYWAYS
@@Ventryx why would you want to live in a big city? I recommend you look at the true origins of urbanism and modern society.
@@Ventryx boredom is easier than truth, far easier. The reasons for why our society is so diabolical should interest you.
Appreciate this man
I quit reading self help books about a year ago. Some things can be learned but by and large you’re not going to “unlock” some hidden secrets no one else knows by reading every self help book under the sun.
You are whole! You think in the future you will be better. You are whole NOW. You are awesome Now! BE PRESENT! BE WHO YOU ARE NOW. ACCEPT IT AND BE AT PEACE
There are people that must improve otherwise they face desolation.
This comment right here. Some of us Have to chase Improvement! Or we'll die. I'm 100% one of those people
@@andreas8201success relies on a mindset.
The LORD is my strength
this actually made me think. feel like ive been living the past two years in spite of my ex gf, I look like a beast right now but on second thought my whole mentality might be fucked up. I've lost sight of goals I had just because I wanted or was inspired by something, a lot of them have become about being better than the rest, being a step ahead of them on the journey. Weak shit.
Self improvement is just the rest of society saying you're not good enough. Fuck them and just live your life.
"The way you discover yourself is by removing things that are not your own thoughts."
Deeply appreciate this message, the same as in the video about quitting podcasts. Cut down on podcasts myself, which helped quite a bit in gaining better mental clarity.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, High Thumos!
Brotha hit the nail on the head!!!!
💯 Too much of anything is bad for you. That includes personal development and self improvement in access/extreme amounts to the point where you’re not even happy with yourself.
I already know all of this for some time now, but I keep forgetting it. Its like every morning I wake up I have a kind of amnesia and im back to "grinding". Thaks for reminding me brother :)
One of if not, your most powerful videos
"tension blocks spontaneity" important to get loose!
There are some really excellent observations in this vid. I loved the part where you talk about "the common denominator" in pretty much 99.9% of the self-help gurus, motivational gurus, and content creators. What do they all have in common?
The belief that at the end of it all, the thing that will ultimately matter the most in your life, is money and material success. They try to avoid such an indictment by saying, "money matters". And yes, yes money DOES matter, TO A POINT. It's good to have solid earning power. It's good to have money saved up for what the bible refers to as "the evil day". But we have plenty of examples of men who have more money than they could ever conceivably use, and men who are utterly destitute and have nothing. The one truth that we all tend to shy away from and avoid is that all men share a common fate, and that is mortality and DEATH.
Whatever you earn, whatever you acquire, whatever you create, whatever you do, you are going to leave it ALL behind. And to whom? You don't know. You may think you know. You may think you can control what happens after your death, by leaving some sort of "legacy". And you wouldn't be the first fool to believe it. Study ancient Egyptian history. Each Pharoah that ascended to the throne, made a point to build monuments to himself, to try and one up the previous Pharoah. Going one step further, each ascending Pharoah would have the name of the previous one struck from monuments in order to emphasize his own "greatness". So it goes with men.
One last point. The wealthiest man to ever have lived was supposed to be King Solomon, and in the end, it made him BITTER. Men, choose wisdom, and remember your place before God.
I cannot lie, I've never seen a video like this and after listening deeply to this video will never listen to this video again. I've never seen someone say you don''t need money. How does one take care of their family without it. Self improvement brings tension and blocks creativity. Self improvement pillars focusses on mindful meditation, presence in social situations, deep breathing allows you to calm your nerves and remove the tension inside of you. I'm not sure what videos or who you follow but self improvement has ironically improved. I trust Men who are on self improvement than not.
I just watched this video x4 times this morning. The message is true and simple. Money does not bring happiness.
For me it's about being in the moment. All things in moderation. My woman likes the way I am and let's face it, were not youngsters. I work in a busy industry and I just need to keep focused, stay healthy and happy.
'i had to observe this to my own self first and then i saw it on other people too . I was putting others expectations ahead of my own all the time , mostly on my dating life . Then i realized i just had to look deep within myself and i had to ask what are the things i want to express , what are the gifts that "I" want to give to other people around me . With my actions it was like telling myself to "shut up just do what the other people might want from you , so you get validation and love " . As i started though listening to myself , i realized that i already have everything that i want , i am already enough and going from this base i can ask myself now "what experiences would you like to create in the short amount you are going to live , who do you want to become ?" . Then i had my epiphany , because i stopped asking other people (parents , relatives , siblings etc) if what i was doing with my life is good , i was looking within myself .
I’ve followed you for a long time. This might be my favorite video. Perfect and real. Keep doing your thing brother I appreciate everything you do!
The Zen philosopher Alan Watts said that self improvement is a contradiction, because the person doing the improving is the very person in need of improvement.
"improving yourself is a contradiction because if you do it it's because you need to" is the dumbest, most self defeating and fatuous nonsense ever spewed forth from a human cakehole.
I suppose you'd think "Medicine is a contradiction because only people who are unwell need it" is a wise statement if you heard some pompous Englishman say it in a "wise and intelligent" in a condescending, smug tone of pomposity too?
The subtle art of not giving a f*ck really helps put this into perspective
"All you need is some children and some woman you love" yeah good luck with that
Yoo this video was really eye opening, i needed this. Aint gone lie doe the moment you said "youu need to stop working out" i started laughing 😭 0:06
This is true. Down the line it's all about what's inside of you and your personality.
I really needed to hear this. Thank you.
The leanest I think I ever got was like 10 to 12% bf and maintained it for years and ended up with gut health problems and not great mood swings. I’d rather just be around 15 to 20% and feel better, and not feel exhausted all the time
Such a powerful video man , thanks so much
Spot on! Literally realized this after years of improvement! All I was stressed all the time! I got super lean last year and realized all it did was make me more insecure!
man, you are a real gold mine tbh
First time on your page but looking forward to your other videos. This was great. Life is about simplicity. Well explained
Love how your message has changed over the years Elisha. Keep up the great vids man
Sound perspective 👌.
I had seen "self improvement" as improvement from the inside to the outside.
The perspective you had on it was completely different to how I view it.
But I see how that can be a trap that you can fall into. The self improvement begins when You break down your "ego". You explained it extremely well. And you gave me further insights and a great reminder to take a step back and enjoy life.
My curiosity of the mind, life, music and our experience here, is what drives me forward.
Although there are similar traps in this pursuit of exploration also.
A healthy reminder to let be be, so you can be.
I have once heard , by removing the most important thing that you think makes you happy. Will make you be the actual person you’re looking for .
If you dont improve there will be no life to live
really like how you emphasize simplying it. thank you man.
Excellent video, especially the 2nd half
Same boat with lifting. Was obsessed for years. Now 3 times a week is the sweet spot.
3-4 days is going to be the sweet spot for many. Lifting 5-6 days a week can be fine, but a lot of people are going to run into recovery issues and actually make worse progress.
Feels good to be ok with where you are rn. How many days and events i made harder for myself and my family.stuck in the clouds, wishing i was somewhere else in stature. Life is literally better than it has ever been for me.
Normally I try to not stop till the end of videos before commenting but just here to say your way of telling things and speaking has really improved in these last videos. Like when you were telling about Jujitsu and said "If you are tense, you tire yourself up much quicker" it was really thought provoking and linked to subject even though you were telling it like a normal thing in your life. I think the theme of your last video "I'm quitting podcasts" (you mentioned the importance of conversations rather than a passive listening ) also improved your ability to talk.
I think it’s important to emphasize the reduction of stress. Enjoying life doesn’t mean you have to constantly feel happy. This’ll only lead to hedonism. Enjoying life is about being content with who you are as a man or a woman. To not be ashamed and to not stress about things you don’t have to stress about.
Your life becomes a lot simpler if your goal is to be able to look back on your life and think damn, this was good.
I appreciate this message because I’m taking February to reset my overwhelming thoughts and just get healthy. I’ve been working a labor intense job far away from family and friends and I haven’t given myself the time to settle in.
My theory: Get as many indoor and outdoor survival skills as possible. When the world-wide system collapses and is finally finished you will easily be adapted to living that costs you less and even then, living off the grid will be a doddle!👍💯
Thank you for this video. These are great points.
I love this, being at peace. Thank you
I needed to hear this,man
Having the biggest wallet, biggest muscles and all these things to look attractive and justify our existence
Not living life for ourself.
Life can be extremely shallow these days but it doesn’t have to be
Omg. Lol. I think we are simultaneously ok the way we are and completely "f"ed
"He who subdues himself, shall be free" ~The Buddah -Good video, well said bro, perfection is not when there is nothing more to add, but nothing more to take away.
Buddha received enlightenment from the serpent under a tree no thanks Whoever Believes has eternal Life ✅ believing in the death burial resurrection blood ALONE Romans 3,19,26 Amen