Being Deaf & Being Blind - Chatting Disability Stuff w/ Jessica Kellgren-Fozard!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 มี.ค. 2021
- Make sure to go check out Jessica!
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I'm Molly, a typical sushi, makeup, and fashion loving millennial girl who just so happens to be blind! I was diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa at just 4 years old and began public speaking at age 5. I started just doing motivational speaking, but now I make videos and even model! Even though I can’t see, I know that there are bright spots in everything we face. Let’s find them together. 💕
Who should I collaborate with next? :)
All of Jessica's links are in the description box, make sure to follow this GEM of a human.
Footless Jo!
LiveAccessible. Her name is Carrie and she has a rare eye condition like I do called Andiridia.
@@sarahelizabeth7547 She already did her I believe.
Let’s talk IBD or the raw life
DissociaDID or another DID TH-camr
“My body is useless but at least I’m gay!” THIS IS MY NEW LIFE MOTTO
I'm bi but I need to use it too lol
@@lightpinkmommy same lol
@@ceceliakittyface5301 it's kinda perfect right?
YASS QUEEN
Me too, well I'm not gay but I'm not cishet
alternative title: Molly fan girls over Jessica for 40 minutes
To be fair, it's kind of impossible not to fangirl over Jessica.
100% can relate!
Aren't we all fangirling over Jessica?
@@emilydana5021 Yes, we are. The whole time I was just like omg omg crushing so hard omg can’t contain my gayness omg
Jessica is fucking GORGEOUS, though! It’s hard not to fangirl.
37:46 “The disability community is the only minority that anybody can join at any point in life.” -Molly Burke
So true. 100%
Not only one minority. What about LGBTQ+ community? You can also join it at any point in life.
@@bellahoptale925 I’m not part of that community so I can’t comment about that experience. Although I will say that some people will argue that it’s not really something you choose; rather, it’s something you have always been and just didn’t recognize or wasn’t able to live out just yet. Any human can get a disease or have an accident or have a stressful situation trigger an autoimmune response and end up in the disabled community, literally at any point in life.
@@schoenesmaedchen I understand what you are saying and I completely agree about both communities.
@@bellahoptale925 Thank you. I’ve been thinking more about your comment too, and I can understand how someone might say that you can join the LGBTQ+ community at any point in life. Like maybe when you either recognize it in yourself or it’s finally safe to do so.
Thank you for having this conversation with me. ☺️💕
@@bellahoptale925 not the same tho
"Hey so I'm Deaf, prone to period of paralysis, fainting, migraines, cardiac problems, dislocating, and my memory kinda sucks. How do you feel about that?"
"I just need to know, are you good around trees"
The wholesomeness is too real
THEY FINALLY DID A COLAB!!!!!!
Probably 2 of my biggest idols on TH-cam!
Yesssssss I’ve been waiting for this!!!!!!
Day made! 😍
I’m so glad!
I love Jessica & we have some of the same health conditions too! And I love Molly and her content !
since no one has said it yet memento mori
“my sexuality only brought me joy”
this is how it should be for everyone and it’s so upsetting that it isn’t
"I'm a left nostril specialist, I don't talk to the right nostril specialist next door."
😂
It can really be like that. I once had a conversation with a psychotherapist (first session), who almost got mad when I repeatedly asked him to get certain information confirmed by my psychiatrist, because he thought that step was unnecessary and the information from my psychiatrist would not related to his work. He also told me I was addicted to cannabis, because I had been prescribed cannabis based medication by my psychiatrist.
I now have a different psychotherapist, one who understands what a psychiatrist is, aswell as what a prescription is, but it took years to get here.
I had a friend with what turned out to be a cyst sitting on a nerve in her forearm. Originally, it was thought it could possibly be cancerous, and needed to be removed or treated. She went to a doctor that specialized in nerves in the hands and forearms. He took one look at her chart and went "oh... THAT nerve isn't part of my specialty, actually. Let me refer you to someone else."
“The disability community is the only community that anyone will join at any time.” Is a true statement that is not addressed enough in our society. I truly wish there were classes in primary education that taught people on disabilities and how to assist them. Including teaching everyone how to sign. Education is the key and I am glad to be learning on how I can help and treat those with disabilities so they can live a normal life.
yes! pbs used to have a show for that. I still sign "thank you" when cars let me pass lmao
so true, kids were definitely ostracized in my public school if they had disabilities, if not bullied. so many just truly don't understand, while others find the opportunity to make themselves "bigger". education is everything!!!
I agree, I realized especially with mask wearing this year how much more difficult communication is with my deaf and hard of hearing coworkers are having. I feel so bad that I can’t talk and socialized and communicate with them equally like my able bodied coworkers. I’ve been trying to learn sign language, and I’ve been try to be more mindful of able -ism in my day to day behaviors.
I completely agree! Public places would be so much more accesible if this was true. That's one of the reasons I learned to sign.
So very true. I’m not registered as disabled but wear hearing aids and have very bad osteoporosis, chronic knee, foot and finger pain, and am on Warfarin after two blood clots. I also have pre diabetes, high blood pressure and fast heart beat. I had unsuccessful surgery to cure the Endocrine disease that caused these problems and am hoping to travel abroad to a specialist surgeon for further surgery. The problem is while I’m waiting on my Covid 19 vaccine all of the issues caused by this disease are getting progressively worst. And if this next surgery fails or all of the glands involved in this disease are removed I will keep getting worse and will never be cured.
Marvel: We have the most ambitious crossover event in history.
Molly and Jessica: Hold my drink!
Jessica doesn't drink because she thinks her body is a temple - some journalist who completely missed the point 😂
Including the recent occupant of the Lucasian chair at Cambridge would have been an extremely ambitious disability crossover. But unfortunately, he passed.
YES YES YES LMAO
@@quintecence I’ve know edited it to say drink instead.
@@guyliver1056 you're the sort of person the world needs more of ❤️
"My body is useless, but at least I'm gay, so I have that going for me." - Jessica Kellgren-Fozard
You could do a fashion style swap, so Molly shops for Jessie and Jessie for Molly, so you don't need to meet, but can just ship your orders to the other one :)
This needs more up votes so it happens.
That's would be awesome!
this is a great idea
Yes please
Ooooo Jessica did something like this with another yter.
The way you know Molly is not faking blindness: no one can stay calm and ignore the cute dog randomly showing up.
Or we could just not question someone’s disability in the first place
This! I was so dumb to think for a second "how does she not react to the cute dog", and then I was like obviously she doesn't, how could I forget 😂
@@jasmineleopard7593 nobody is questioning anybodys disability really. It was a joke. Allow people to stay light hearted please.
@@jasmineleopard7593 she wasn’t questioning. I’m pretty sure she said this because of everyone else who questions it.
@@daniellesmith6802 Sweetie. Reading comprehension matters. This person is criticizing the people who **do** think Molly is faking it. Please think critically before insulting people out of anger. Thanks kid
I just Googled it, and less than 8% of disabilities require the use of a wheelchair.
And something that’s also interesting- 95% of wheelchair users are not paralysed. I’m not good enough to figure out 5% of 8% though.
I’m one of the 95%. And also one of the 8% too, I guess.
@@katherinemorelle7115 .004!
Growing up with disabled brothers and being a part of so many family support groups I know a lot of people with a wide range of disabilities.. only 2 of the people I know use wheelchairs. The same goes for people part of chronic illness gang like me 🙃
Not a single one of the wheelchair users I know or are my friends is paralized and even in my school full of disabled we have only like 5 wheelchair users out of hundreds of adult students.
Most of our disabilities seen to be invisible because I sure as hell can't see what's "wrong" which most people in my school but I know they have some kind of issue or they wouldn't be there.
Not like I even need that to just be respectful and kind of strangers. If someone tells me they are struggling I don't need a full diagnosis to help them.
You can't see my disabilities either yet I still have a walking disability even being able to walk.
Unless you have x-ray vision and can somehow also see literally everything that could possibly cause issues in a human body just try to be mindful of other people and don't assume anything.
also there's plenty of people who only sometimes use a wheelchair and at other times might walk independently or use a variety of other mobility aids
Molly THANK YOU SO MUCH for literally saying "type 1 diabetic" out loud. As a T1D, while I know that I am disabled, I often feel like an outsider to the disability community, that invisible disabilities are somehow "lesser". I am literally crying for being included. THANK YOU.
I love the "not every disability is visible" stickers. I probably would have given dirty looks to people coming out of the toilets a few years ago if it came up, but I realise now you can't always see their struggle.
I have a few invisible disabilities and one of them makes me unable to use stairs that have more than like 5 steps. I finally got an elevator pass for my school but I’m kinda tired of telling people “oh no I actually have a pass because I have rheumatoid problems”
I’m gonna order a sunflower lanyard which is for people who have invisible disabilities ❤️
"she's animated, but you do you" lol i love it
I love how that was the problem they had with it, lol
Me waiting for Molly to say something about Jessica's dog when it jumped up on her lap...
Whoops LOL
Hahaha. I have been following Molly forever and wondered if she was going to point out how physically animated Jessica is when she talks. 🤪
SAME BASHDHSDA
@K Dow07 My friend does that, I think it might be because she knows sign language, if you get used to communicating via actions, it can be hard to stop xD
@@amedeacatpaw5987 Yeah. I am fluent in ASL and have always been very animated with my hands when speaking English.
But it isn't just signers who gesture when speaking only English. I notice Molly gesturing a lot too. It is typical of people to gesture.
Same 😭😂
Being legally blind but also not really being all that into fashion, I admit that I skip a lot of your more fashion related videos, but I have absolutely no issue with you doing them. It’s your channel and I think that you doing fashion videos does as much to break down barriers as doing ones specifically about disabilities. It is possible to skip a video that you’re not interested in without having to make negative comments! LOL.
Molly actually has me care about fashion on occasion, eventhough I would never search for any fashion related content. Her perspective on fashion is just so interesting to me that I end up watching stuff on make up pallets regardless of the fact that I wear make up about once or twice a year.
Jessica's impression of Claudia's thoughtful nod at 28:55 before asking "Do you still like to go on walks in the woods" was so accurate
I know right! I easily imagined Claudia saying it.
When I was younger before I was diagnosed with Stargardts, everyone called me clumsy and thought I was annoying. I never realized that other people could see in the dark. And I always thought everyone couldn’t see when they looked straight. I’m happy that I wasn’t the only child that was considered clumsy or dumb because of something nobody knows about. Thank u! I love this collab! You are amazing Molly! Have a great day!
Definitely not alone! I have spacial recognition issues. I can't tell how far away things are. I run into stuff and knock things over all the time. Always have bruises.
You're definitely not alone
I also have really bad depth perception so I’ve almost walk in the middle of the road Bc I didn’t realize how close it was
@@annalisalaphen3585 yesss! I've done this so many times. My husband is constantly putting his arm in front of me lol
I don't have Stargardts, but I do have other balance and spacial issues that turned out to be actual physical issues. More than once I got yelled at for not paying attention or being careful enough.
Jessica’s voice is SO relaxing!!!
AGREED!
I agree, but for some reason my husband can't stand her voice. He drives me nuts
@@kallisteinbarge5656 He's jealous IMO 😂
There's an ongoing demand for her to read books because everyone was in love with her bit on being Quaker
Talking about making topics outside of disability, I found Jessica while trying to find a video about the best red hair dye. But I ended up with amazing insight on disability.
same
i found molly via the Iud story (not as bad, but my body hated it too). Jessica i found via someone sharing the plastic straw video, i kept watching because i loved her british humour/sarcasm.
I found her because i was looking for Vintage Fashion and stayed for the polite exasperation
I found Jessica because I was looking for LGBTQ+ content. I used to be absolutely clueless about disability before that. I think her just being her has helped a bunch of different communities learn about and understand each other
I started watching her for the vintage gay brit but then found out she had 2 conditions and then learned she was deaf. 3 separate occasions. I love this lady
Angry Mom: Hmmm. Not disabled or a parent, I see.
Jessica: Oh, no! Cindy! I left her in the car! *runs off*
Wait what I'm confused
@@happyplace8382 in one video an angry mom got upset over Jessica using the disabled toilet and said "Not disabled or a parent, I see"
Yeah, this comment! Lol fr I'm so tired of the assumption that the only disabled people that exist are wheelchair users. Like sorry Karen, I'd rip out my spine and show you the damage if I could.
As a mom I had the opposite experience. I was hastily changing the nappy and clothes of my baby who had just pooped all over herself while an impatient grandma in a wheelchair was waiting outside mumbling about the lack of toilet noises and what was taking them so long in the inside... The shared disabled toilets and baby changing stations aren't working in anyones favour.
@@Peeeeweeeherman ohhh ok thanks for explaining
I love how Jessica is aggressively nodding at someone who can't see her 😂
"my body is useless, but at least I'm gay!"
can we get merch. I want this on a mug and a shirt. actually no, I need this on a mug and a shirt. please. pretty please with sugar on top.
I'm not gay, so... I'm only useless? 🤧
@@WhoAmI2YouNow you can substitute the gay with anything that makes you happy
Tag me if they come out with merch I'm buying lol
my dad makes shirts, mugs, hoodies, tumblers, coasters, flasks, little picture board things that you can put on your wall, stickers, etc. You could probably get that on something.
now I want that on something, lol I'm gonna have to ask him if he'll make me something like that
@@WhoAmI2YouNow You’re certainly NOT useless. Although society does everything to make us feel like garbage, don’t ever think of you as useless. It wouldn’t surprise me, for example, if you were a very empathetic person. That is something a lot of disabled people are. Having empathy is good an important. So no, you’re not useless at all.
I live in Canada, arguably the politest country in the world we are litterally known as being to friendly ...
I am a part time wheelchair user and a couple times I've stood up to reach something because it's easier then asking for help these days, and I've had people yell at me that I was faking being disabled, I just about burst into tears because it was a horribly bad pain day, I composed myself enough to not cry but kinda flipped out on the person because I would give anything to not be in pain all day every day..
People are so quick to judge
I've had this exact thing happen to me. I mostly use a cane or walker but there are days when I'm in so much pain I need a chair. It's hard when people are so hateful and have no idea what we're dealing with.
@@isawthesign4421 it truly is! I have an emotional support dog who is task trained for anxiety and panic attacks, (i need to change her registration) but I've had people say things like (what could YOU possibly actually NEED a service dog for??) And not that she's started picking up on my takycardia I take her almost everywhere and people always tell me that I'm to "young" or "normal" to need a mobility aid or service animal... I have even been told I should have to wear some kind of pin or label so that people know I'm disabled and don't have to be concerned about what I'm doing...
I think people who are ignorant should have to wear a pin or label so us disabled people know to avoid them...
How did they react when you corrected them?
@@RagDollCookie I'm not sure how they react to her. But I usually get 1 of 3 options.
1. They get mad at me for correcting them and making them look like ass hats.
2. They get embarrassed and tell me I don't look disabled.... As if that's a good excuse for them to be rude to someone.
Or
3. They start asking way too many personal questions about my disability and then still think I'm faking
@@isawthesign4421 thank you for the answer. If I was that person I would be so ashamed and apologise a lot.
Me and my partner both have mental illnesses and that first date story reminded me of us. Like I was, “yeah I have pretty serious depression and anxiety and probably autism but never have gotten a diagnosis” and she was “ok, I have ocd and anxiety. But what anime do you like?” And now we are about to become engaged.
The judgment when you have an invisible ilness that requires you to use the acessable stalls in restrooms is so real! I have multiple invisible illnesses EDS, Dysautonomia, and Scoliosis just to name a few. I need to use the taller toilet and assistive bars but everyone else just sees a person that looks normal.
Same! And people can be so hateful.
I always feel guilty when someone else tries the door when I'm using it! Sometimes it's simply needing the extra space to maneuver, while other times, I really do need the extra height and support bars.
I hate being 24 with an invisible disability.
Yes, this! It gives me major anxiety. I've been on full trains before, and I need to be seated, and someone old or visibly disable comes in. And the looks I get are so horrible since I don't offer up my seat. It makes me feel guilty when I'm not in the wrong at all. Then I start getting scared that someone might verbally tell me to give it up or the conductor might demand it, simply because I look "healthy". And so, it's very difficult and you can't help feeling neglected and wrongfully judged.
@@fionacoin5329 I feel that and honestly just because someone is older doesn't necessarily mean they're in worse shape than you. My grandpa is 81 years old and there are some days where he is in way better shape than me. It took me a long time to get over (a frankly I'm still not completely over it) my interalized ableism and let my grandpa help me on days when I'm in a bad flair cause the truth of the mater is that I needed help and he was able to give it.
@@rabbit__ I feel ya. I'm 21 and I hate living with invisible illnesses too. It especially sucks when you have a whole collection of them. At one point it broke down all my conditions, illnesses and such individually and aded them up. It came out to like 29ish conditions. It's somewhat less now. Technically I was able to get 15 of them into remission but there's always a chance they could come back.
That moment when Molly's voice broke as she was talking about "not looking disabled enough", that hit me hard.
Jessica out in these covid hallways looking like a 1950s magazine cover😍😍
Same. Same. Same. It’s very hard when you look able bodied but need the handicap bathroom, can’t stand in long lines, and need help in an airport. Ppl look at me and go, “there’s nothing wrong with you”, I’m like, “would you like to see the large scar on my hip from my hip replacement”... quickest thing I can say instead of explaining my entire disease 😂😂😂
Girl. I have chronic back pain. I have a disc in my lower back that is out of place. I’m 25 and I’ve gained a large amount of weight (ppl assuming I’m lazy bc I’m bigger) bc I can’t work out or even move a significant amount everyday. After getting ready for the day I’m sitting/laying down bc I’m in pain that brings me to my knees and crying. Growing up my dad always believed me if I was in pain and said “she’s really sick bc that girl handles pain like no other” bc I was tough and didn’t let a little something get to me. Now I’m out with a minute of just picking up my living room from my 2 year old. Anyway all that going against you saying explaining it all. Lol I dont even have a scar to save me that time. No one believes hahaha I feel the pain girl. I feel you!!!
I have yet to be questioned but I've been thinking that if someone questions me I'd show them my (about 10 cm) scar that aligns with my spine after the two surgeries I've had on my spine. Though, I don't know if I'd want to do it or not. 😄
When I need to use the bathroom I can’t wait. Kinda makes me want to crap on someone so they get the point. Well, no not really but it’s frustrating
I have a weird relationship with disability I guess. I have ADHD and anxiety and they're technically disabilities (especially since I'm on the crippling end of the spectrum). It just feels weird though even if sometimes I nearly burn down my apartment, get in an accident, get sent to collections, and just start to wonder if anyone should have ever let me grow up and live alone. It sucks when I get overwhelmed in public and just can't do something "normal" because of it. I can't keep friends to save my life. I can keep a job only if it involves a lot of deadlines and feedback. But I only "feel" disabled sometimes. Usually when I'm under supported and can't accomplish something. It makes me feel worse because there's no way to look at me and see how I struggle or why.
Same..I have anxiety, panic attacks, depression, adhd and borderline personality 🙈🤣🤯😱 and during this video I was thinking if I have the right to say that I have some sort of disability, but I actually have, many times I couldn't do something because of my mental health issues, I couldn't left the house or was "paralyzed" in a busy city center because of my anxiety, one day a "friend" left me alone at a bus stop in a capital city when I had a panic attack because she thought I was just joking and doing it just to not go with her somewhere...I literally didn't know where I was, I was so scared and it could be dangerous for me, thankfully I called my husband and he instructed me over the phone what to do where to go etc so I could come back home safely. Thank you both for sharing your stories Molly and Jessica ❤
Same. I have depression and anxiety that can be very debilitating (especially the depression), but I don't call it a disability because people around me and others in the disabled community don't think it's a disability. It's so bad that I, personally, consider my depression to be worse than my blindness.
Anxiety, depression, Disruptive Mood Disregulation Disorder, Autism.
I resonate so much with this entirely, I'm also at the severe end of the spectrum along with probably autism. Its so tough some days, it's easier to get overwhelmed and your nerves feel raw. But I'm learning good coping skills to calm myself before or bring myself down after a meltdown. Executive dysfunction kicks my ass every damn day but I'm doing the things. I've been doing much more regular self care and finding ways to rev my engine into starting up easier.
I've certainly struggled with feeling invalid in the "disabled" title, its so tough when the world seems to love invalidating us so much. But in very recent years I've noticed a very gradual shift in understanding of how invisible our struggles can be and you never know how much pain, mentally or otherwise, someone is experiencing. I'm glad they've started putting more inclusive or de-stigmatizing stickers or signs, that will do a world of good and maybe teach some compassion to judgy folks who play parking police.
I hope your journey has followed a more positive route or starts looking up for you soon, if it affects your daily life activities negatively its a disability, period, the end. You do not need to verify the existence of your disability or dictate how you feel or experience life to people who do not stand in your shoes. Sending you warm positive vibes :)
ADHD is like a nice summer sold, buy 1 get 7 free :)
Best way to enjoy a Friday after surviving an 80 point exam plus a 45 point quiz and trying not to fall apart from anything vision related that gets mentioned in school
Manifesting everything goes well for you ❤️
@@brookepage3752 thanks I guess it just how life goes
Are you in my house? Because my day was practically the same lol I feel ur pain
@@lindsayh8374 haha no today was just really rough
Same! Just got out of an Orgo Exam.
I love that phrase, disability is a minority community where anyone can join at any point in their lives. That is so true. No one thinks about disabilities until it happens to them.
Being a disabled person that stems from a genetic disorder, I resonate so much with how you two explained living with a disability. I don’t constantly think that oh I have DiGeorge Syndrome repeatedly, it’s only when I’m asked about how I’m disabled is when I think about it. I loved this SO MUCH!! 😍😍
Loving the pfp 💖💜💙
@@marcus.... thank u! 😍🙏🏼
The Internet got me my POTS diagnosis after 11 years of gaslighting. I don’t trust any doctors that make fun of “Google diagnoses”. When explaining my POTS diagnosis to an ER doctor who’d never heard of it he said “wow, you sure seem to have googled it” then told me my doctors are wrong and it’s just anxiety.
Totally agree. I don't think there's anything wrong with researching what's going on with you. The only point where it is bad is if you suddenly think you have cancer or something and it causes more stress than just asking a doctor.
But most doctors don't know every single condition, so having an idea isn't bad. And educating them shouldn't be looked at as "Dr. Google" but as a patient advocating for themselves.
I need to get evaluated for that 😅
Once you have one, theyre bound to invite their friends 🙃
@@cre-k8-ive I think for most women and other marginalised people, self-research and patient advocacy is the one and only way we can ever access care. It took me 11 years, dozens of doctors, years lost when I was too disabled to work or study, and many thousands of dollars just to convince someone I wasn’t making up my symptoms!
'You sure seem to have googled it' oh my god what a jerky thing to say. Sorry for trying to be informed and in control about my own health!
ive heard that often doctors can be so stuck up their butts that they'll ignore a patients very serious symptoms because "I've never heard of it, it must not be real", "You must be overreacting, you probably just googled that", "You're overexaggerating its not that serious" and so on. I understand that doctors often see so many patients that they're desensitized by many people actually over-reacting and actually find out that the issue with said over-reacting patient wasnt as "serious" as they initially thought that they start treating everyone like that. But not everyone is like that, and often people with actually very serious problems get ignored or pushed to the sidelines because of that.
My god Jessica is SO eloquent! And Molly is too but their energies are so different! Molly is professional and polished and efficient, and Jessica is languorous and elegant x
Molly, right Now i need to paint a picture for you. When you were complimenting Jessica for her fashion And vintage style she had such a huge smile on her face.
During that her little white dog, sitting on her lap, looked up to her. His head straight up, ears are flipping back. The dog just had an expression filled with love and pride Just Like: "yeah, jessica my love, she is talking about you! Be proud girl!"
Even if the changing tables are elsewhere, parents with babies still have to use the disabled stall because they can't leave their stroller with their baby outside unattended, and unless you're in an airport, the stroller won't fit in any other stall.
I always feel guilty when the only parent change option is in a disabled loo or that's the only loo that has space for a pram. Like sometimes there's a baby change room but it has no loo in it (I mean whyyy?) so the only option for a parent who needs to use the loo and is on their own has to use the disabled loo. Not helpful for disabled people at all! (On another note don't get me started about when the baby change is only in the women's loo and not the men's!)
Another issue is that change tables aren’t always for babies- there are plenty of disabled people who need them as well. Because there are people of all ages who have continence issues. And I know that some of those change tables are for people of all ages (though not all. Which is frustrating)
@@katherinemorelle7115 yes I have a friend with a son who is adult age but needs a change table unfortunately usually the ones in disabled loos aren't suitable; big enough or strong enough., there's no hoist etc. The provision available is really not good enough it's always an afterthought it seems. 'We'll stick a change table in the disabled loos so that parents can change children in there but not one that's actually useful for disabled adults'.
@@sarahelizabeth7547 that’s just so awful. I find access generally to be so sub par.
Ever since I was a child (I was raised by my dad, but only from age 8) I wondered why the changing tables were usually in the women's toilets. I think it's a bit different now as this was in the 90s but even as a child I could see it was wrong?? Why didn't adults designing the toilets see that? But in terms of disabilities vs childcare I hadn't really thought about that so much, thank you for the insight.
@@RagDollCookie it is much better now than it was and usually it's old fashioned places like national trusts that have the baby change in the loos but it's irksome! When we used to be able to go to places like that it was like oh so it's always my turn to change the nappy 😂 heaven forbid a single man or a gay male couple should need to change their child!
I just think it's so frustrating that facilities like loos and public transport etc are made to be shared as it seems to pit parents against disabled people which is completly wrong and all because when planning spaces they want to allow as little space as possible to disabled users as possible🙄
I come from Jessica's channel and... you talking about how PTSD is disabling to you makes me feel less bad for feeling disabled by my own PTSD. I honestly sometimes break down crying because of flashbacks, but people don't consider it because "it can be cured" and it's more like "It can be managed". Thank you.
Same for me. I’ve had to accept that I’m working through ptsd and I’ve had to finally extend myself some grace. I wish all good things for you.
Yep, it's really frustrating. Also the people who think you can't have PTSD because you weren't a soldier. Like you don't need to go to war to go through trauma. So many people, medical "professionals" included (quotes because it's very much not professional) reduce my PTSD caused by doctors (yes, multiple) to a fear of needles. I'm not scared of needles, I mean I don't like them, but who does?
What I have learned from this collab: these two fangirl over each other's content just as much as I fangirl about both of their content 👍👍👍👍
I’m so grateful for this collaboration. My name is Jess and I have EDS and POTS as well as multiple other mental and chronic illnesses so I see a lot of myself in Jessica. Molly is one of the main reasons I started accepting the label of disabled and becoming a part of the disabled community. I’m working on making content about my life and things I enjoy and this has given me more motivation to do so. I had it in my head I had to wait until I was at a better point or had better things but Molly recently brought up that she films on her phone and now I feel like nothings stopping me. I started watching Molly when she was making videos in the backyard of her parents house so I don’t know why I convinced myself I had to put out super high quality videos to be worth it. I want to document my experience as it is and where I’m at now, like Molly did and continues to do. I’m so grateful to have great role models like the two of you. Amazing video! Thank you! ❤️
I was pulled to watch Molly because of a deep fear of becoming blind from an accident. I have pretty bad vision (I don't think I count as blind) and as a kid I was terrified about it getting worse. This channel made that idea way less terrifying and if I happen to end up blind due to an accident in the future I feel I'll be much more prepared.
Honestly anyone can get a disability in the future and it's hard but it's not the end.
THE COLLAB OF THE YEAR!!
The "deaf"accent is because people never heard them selfs speak or others speak when they have been deaf from birth. When you turn deaf you already learned how to speak and how a voice 'supposed' to sound. Only people don't seem to see the difference between those cases. But you sure know this😉
I was literally commenting about how I think it’s ridiculous that the accessible stalls are used for changing stations, and Jessica addressed it. THANK YOU. I’m not disabled, nor do I have children, but I definitely think they need to be separate.
And be in more than just the woman's bathroom!
@@rabbit__ This!
Or just have more stalls! Imagine the disabled toilet is occupied, and the change room isn't. But the change room is not accessible. I don't mind if they're both, as long as there's enough of them.
I’m not disabled but I do a lot of Diversity and Equity work on my campus and I learn so much from you and Jessica that I’m able to bring into my work to try and make sure we’re paying attention to the issues of disabled students
We need people like you! Thank you!
You must be made of platinum and diamonds! ❤️❤️❤️
TWO OF MY FAVORITE CREATORS IN ONE VIDEO??? 😍 I'm so excited to watch this
I love watching molly and other people with disabilities and learning about their lives. ❤️
I have Hoshimoto's disease which affects everything. I don't even feel like I have a community to help and support because I got diagnosed when I was 14 while most people get diagnosed at 35+. It's hard to not have anyone like you. I live in Alabama and doctors refused to see me because I was young so I had to drive to a specialty hospital in Florida to see me. It's crazy. Nobody looks at me and thinks "wow, she passes out, has an autoimmune disorder, is on blood pressure medication at 14, ect.". They look at me and say "she's only 21. Why is she here?" Thank you both for telling your story and for always posting amazing videos.
Hey hon,
I'm 25 and got diagnosed with Hashimoto's at 23. It's rough. It's one of several conditions I have, but it's like the worst one.
I have Hashimotos, Endometriosis, PMDD, Asthma, Fibromyalgia, Atypical Complex Chronic Migraine, a sleep disorder, depression, anxiety, PTSD, and a uncorrectable vision impairment. And seriously the Hashimotos will kill me the fastest, pisses all the other things off, it's awful. My best friend had Hashimotos and Addison's disease. They removed her thyroid because it became so unstable. I'm gunna push to get mine removed as well. I'm tired of blood work every 8 weeks and it always changing.
If you ever need to chat with someone closer in age who's dealing with "an old people" disease, my email is sadie-nna@hotmail.com
Internet stranger here, this is the first time I heard of Hashimoto's. Thank you for sharing your story, l'll research later to learn.
Hey I got diagnosed at 11 I feel thiiiis so hard. No one understands why I’m always tired why i can’t function sometimes cause the brain fog is so bad I just can’t think. Or why I get crippling anxiety. I also have adhd both invisible disabilities with a lot of the same effects and some days I’m really on and can do everything perfect but some days I feel like I’m gonna fall apart. my coworker who also has adhd noticed last night and he said to me you need to talk to the managers I hate seeing you try to push yourself when you’re clearly struggling and stressing yourself out. I guess I feel like I’m 30 I should be normal. I should be able to do these things but really I have problems that prevent me from being able to do them like everyone else. So I I push myself because I don’t want to let my disabilities define me. If you ever wanna chat about your hashimotos you can dm me we can start our own community.
My cousin (who i treat like a sister) was diagnosed with Hashimoto's a few years ago. She's in her upper 20s, and is incredibly healthy. The way she has been managing her symptoms, is through a gluten free diet. But of course being a young, very thin, very fit white women, she gets judged a lot for requesting gluten free options. Even though if she has gluten, she will become severely ill and pass out. But because of her diagnosis, now the other women in my family have been routinely getting our thyroids checked with that specific test and raising awareness of it.
I know that with my own disability/chronic illness journey is pretty unique. Being a black woman, medical racism almost didn’t give me a chance to figure out my illness because my mother demanded a scan and they told me that I have lesions in my intestinal tract and a week later, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. With that, it has been a big impact in my life. It gives me a platform to educate people about Inflammatory Bowel Disease. Also dealing with mental health disorders along with it, presenting as able-bodied can be frustrating because of hearing “oh you don’t look sick” or “oh you don’t seem sick”.
It’s nice to see someone who also has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and POTS and can actually explain it well ! It’s so important to advocate for our rare diseases :)
As someone married to a person with incurable arthritis and chronic pain, thank you for mentioning the pain and invisible things to deal with side of this. It is greatly appreciated.
My work place has a disabled stall... WITH A POST IN IT. If *I* sit on the toilet with no mobility aids or disabilities my knees almost bump this post. It's a government office and it makes me frustrated every time I think about it.
I'm a graphic designer and the talk about the disability icon is such a great topic to bring up. Definitely a challenge to think of new ways to visually convey disabilities.
I'll never forget when my small child ran into the disabled toilet before I got there. I had two toddlers, so I usually took them in there so we'd all fit (we're in a rural area, so theyres not many people in general. Someone came in and I had to extract my toddler from the toilet... I felt so bad, we had an honest conversation and it's just hard in the bathrooms.
I love what Jessica said about creating stories for people and not making it about their disability. I've turned on videos from both Molly and Jessica around my boyfriend and he had no idea Molly was blind until she mentioned it randomly. He also requests the history videos Jessica makes all the time. So awesome seeing you 2 collab!
The disability bathroom is never a disabled toilet alone, it’s ALWAYS a “family bathroom” I deal with invisible illnesses that make people think I’m able bodied and the people who look down on disabled people using the disabled toilet even if they don’t look it is ableist. We don’t ask to be this way. IT freaking SUCKS
Reading these comments is so validating! I have mild cerebral palsy that affects me on a daily basis and it is very much invisible.
There seems to be an assumption that people have around CP that everyone who has it is in a wheelchair and cannot speak or move. When I was born, my parents were told this might be the case. However, I can walk, talk, and even write (these things took a long time to master, but it was worth it)
As a kid, my parents being too afraid to tell me my diagnosis, I was told by peers that I was faking. Not only with the physical aspects (having a narrow airway added onto that in a way that isn't enjoyable) but with the mental ones as well, which often go unnoticed.
To this day, as a teenager with an invisible disability, I get called stupid for having difficulty with basic things like directions, or knowing when I'm hungry/thirsty, and have received countless weird looks for attempting to explain that I need to hold a railing, or need more space on the sidewalk.
In theory, I knew there were others like me, but Molly's channel really opened my eyes to how significant that number is. To all these lovely people who have commented sharing their stories, you are incredibly brave, and I wish you the best going forward. I believe we as a community, can make a difference in this world and it all starts with coming together.
It is hard having that hidden disability. I have mild CP too and I can relate to what you're saying as I got weird looks as a teenager. People give you weird looks but that's just because they haven't come into contact with CP/disability before. You deserve all the support you need and you did the right thing explaining. I'm in my 20s now and while I still find it a bit tricky to state what I need, I got a lot better at it with age. Keep being you :) xx
Hey other person with mild CP! Nice to see us here :)
@@eliseesther4986 I was so nervous writing this comment ngl, so I'm glad some people actually enjoyed it
@@faithreece8857 I honestly felt like I was the only one 😂
@@alwaysnamjooning1899 Nope! You absolutely are not alone and I’m glad we found each other
I have a mobility disability/chronic pain and am working on a universally accessible digital theatre project at the moment, and this was SUCH as useful conversation to hear. Thank you. I found myself nodding along with you both so often too. I love hearing we have the same irritations or bugbears while navigating the world. Thanks again. Stay excellent.
Regarding folk who have sex in disabled toilets: stop. It’s not funny or cheeky or lol. It’s disgusting to us who have to use them afterwards, or wait outside while you finish, and it’s a really ignorant look on you. I’ve sat on the floor outside a disabled toilet and wet myself before while having to wait. Get a room that isn’t a legally mandated access space.
(I’m guessing very few of this audience have or ever would do that, but yeah. That’s my rant.)
Cannot wait to see Molly in vintage!
When Jessica talks about watching content with disabled person doing something they love.....this is how I subscribed to Jessicaoutofthecloset.
Jessica was so accurate about people learning/discovering disability information by accident. I discovered her channel while trying to learn how to do victory rolls 😅 and it's really opened my eyes as to how accessible certain things are especially as a person who's hard of hearing. Still can't do the victory rolls but I'm happier having someone talking and normalizing disability
Glad to see awareness being made for EDS and POTS. Thanks for doing this video, Molly.
“You look more capable than you sometimes are”
That really hit me in the feels, I live that daily. It definitely made me cry a little.
My neurodevergent self appears plenty more able than actually accurate since I struggle with random basics (dyslexia, emotional intelligence, noise sensitivity) people hardly think about in the interactions we have!
I SO love this video!!!! I am legally blind and I always go for the disability restroom stall because I am able to find it easier but I have had people be rude to me for using it. It feels so good to know I am not alone. Just because I am not in a wheelchair doesn’t mean I am disqualified from being restroom. Again thank you for this video!
Ive had a dead ear most of my life and at 25 Im just starting to understand how my own disability effects me. Its mind boggling to me how little we talk about what a disability can look like. we can take care of eachother so much better
my body doesn't work but at least I'm gay is probably the most relatable sentiment I've ever heard.
when you're a killer bee and also part of the lovely people 😍💕
i had the EXACT SAME experience where my Dr didn't want to refer me to a geneticist/specialist because EDS isn't curable and there's "no point" 🙃🙃🙃
My doctor isn't diagnosing me because "It wouldn't change how we treat it". Like okay, but I can't get accommodations for a disability without being able to say what it is lol
Which is so not ok
🙄🙄🙄 How incredibly frustrating. I have experienced it on a smaller scale, but for chronic illness this inexcusable.
Why do they both have such great teeth it isn’t fair
hehe Jessica's wife is a dentist
Jessica's wife is a dentist lol
Exactly! I always feel jealous when I watch them.
Third time's a charm, Jessica's wife is a dentist.
Seizures: added issues: Mental illness, fatigue, amnesia/memory loss, forgetfulness, injury. There's more, of course, but those are the main ones, I'd say.
When I read Jessica last name I was like "Hm Kellgren sounds a Swedish" and then I few seconds later, she confirmed it haha
The country where I live has something called a "Help Mark" available for people with disabilities or health conditions. It's a red tag with a medical cross and heart that you can attach to your bag or somewhere visible. It boosts visibility for people who may need a seat on public transport, to use the disabled restroom, or may need assistance in other areas. I really, really think this should be universally used!
I fully recognise that physical and mental disabilities affect people widely differently, I have severe dyslexia and struggled to get a diagnosis when I was young because I was intelligent and could explain verbally what I wanted to say but not write it down as my peers could. I was labeled as lazy and unfocused, but my disability was invisible to those around me as they put it down to child like behaviour and not that there was anything wrong with me. I love these videos Molly they are amazing, and relate to Jessica's story quite closely, listening to these conversations you have with other people with disabilities very often helps me to understand and validate my own struggles and better understand those around me ❤️❤️❤️
Jessica and Molly: *talking and answering questions about really interesting, awesome stuff*
Me: "Vital question!" *thinking* "Is that... Walter or Tilly?"
Tilly :)
@@RagDollCookie Thank you! :)
@@dyndan19 It is sometimes difficult but Walter has curlier hair and has a few discoloured patches because he is quite old now unfortunately :( Love them both though!
OMG she's too cute!!! Can't handle how she looks at Jessica!! 😱💖💖💖
Jessica looks like Ariel from the little mermaid and I LOVE IT
She reminds me so much of The Age of Adeline and I am 100% here for it!
I agree with the diverse labeling.
Everyone please support this.
I've been waiting for this collab for so long!
I'm not disabled but I love watching your content since it's entertaining and educational. You cannot imagine how much i learn from you every single video. This video for instance i learned why blind or deaf people NEED to sit on public transportation and I never knew. Many of us are not inconsiderate just ignorant. And if you only made blind related content i would've probably never stayed as a viewer simply cause i can't relate. But because I stayed now i watch you and other creators from the community. Thank you
It's the first time i see anyone talk about irritable bowel syndrome! i've dealt with it since i was 7 years old, even ended up in the hospital because of it, and it can be really hard to control
It must have caused a lot of stigma because of it. Hopefully the world becomes more open, and make it easy for people with different disabilities (visible or invisible).
Control is a foreign word to my tummy 💩
Had you both not made content that isn't only disability related I would have never watched both of your channels. I am an able bodied woman with no connections to the disability community. I was very ignorant and uneducated on disability topics but your fun and educational videos have taught me so much! Thank you 😊
"The disability community is the only minority that anybody can join at any point in life."
- Molly Burke, 2021
Aaah!!!! I asked for this collab!!!
Everyone did! LOL
Molly, you didn't laugh when Jessica talked about her parent's reaction to her announcement about wanting to date an animated character! I nearly peed my pants! Jessica can be SO funny! I just adore both of you!
Once a “friend” snatched my phone & read off my medical emergency info when I wasn’t paying attention. iPhones had just updated, and made that feature available while locked. I only noticed when they started mocking very specific to me conditions. It was awful, because that information is so personal, and 1/2 of it they didn’t even understand. They just jumped to conclusions and tried to joke about it. Such an invasion… my mental/physical health isn’t up for advertising. 👿
Okay so I have to relate to Jessica on the bit about adults not listening to kids when they explained that they have something wrong with them. I have a distinct memory of telling my camp counselors that I had a migraine and then laughing at me and saying do you even know what a migraine is? And I did because my mom had told me and because I had them. And it was so frustrating not to be taken seriously and also not to be given medication
Omg my two favorite youtube ladies!!! Hope you both are well!💖 I love how all you had to say in the title was "Jessica", because we all know she's the best girl to do disability girl talk with!😂
Same! Two of my faves too! 😍
Combining the baby changing and disability toilet makes sense from a practical perspective. Both need a larger room carved out of the building, both have to be unisex (because single fathers exist).
I agree that a single-stall family restroom is a wonderful idea. I think she was more referring to a large stall within a multi-stall gendered bathroom, though.
But even then and with the lower utilisation it's not necessarily easy to navigate.
I agree. It sounds like they just need more of them
A comment regarding Molly pointing out the whole "able-bodied people using disabled washrooms" problem; I've seen recently that with more acceptance of non-binary people there's been some signs that make the disabled bathrooms or the family bathrooms also the only gender neutral bathroom option. I feel like this could start to present problems with these bathrooms becoming too "multi-purpose" and having availability issues. like, people with disabilities and people with young children may have some very specific bathroom needs whereas non-binary people (who don't also fit into those two categories) just need a bathroom that's for everyone, ya know?
My psychology professor in college is the one that diagnosed my hEDS. I feel like most of us have similar stories when it comes to encounters with doctors. They need to be doing better with these things, no one deserves to struggle with health conditions and no help. I love this video! ❤️❤️ So much love!
I love that Jessica shared her story with "coming out" when she never really had to, because that was the way I "came out" too! I don't ever hear about people with coming out stories like mine and it feels good to not feel like the odd ball for it, because I was always just very open and I knew my family would love and support me no matter what so I just very matter of factly stated things about liking women and being gay and not being able to fathom choosing to love someone based on their genitals...I started having these talks with my family around age 10 or so?? So it was always just an accepted part of me. Like you both said, I truly hope we hear more stories like this in the future as hopefully the world slowly becomes more inclusive. I love that "coming out" can be a very celebratory thing but you also don't have to have a specific coming out day to make you special or valid. xoxo
I am not truly disabled, I do have mild/moderate EDS. I cannot walk down the stairs without holding myself up on the rails. I got screamed at at a trainstation for 'hogging the rails' and slowing everyone down. An old lady just approached from the other side and told me to get out of the way, to the middle of the stairs. I was so scared and upset. Same with seating in a train/bus. I simply cannot stand up. 50 year olds yelling at me that I"m rude when I don't stand up, because 'they are older'. You don't know what someone is dealing with. Thank you for this talk.
Also, had the same talk with my GP. He said he couldn't refer me cause there wouldn't be a cure or a definite diagnosis for it. But he said, I agree that you probably have it cause you have all the symptoms for it, and I give you permission to tell people you have it. So that's what I'm sticking with now. Took 20 years to just accept that I will not get a straight forward answer ever, and that doens't mean that it's all in my head, and that I do still have it. Even when there's no 1+1 test for it.
"A person in a wheelchair and we're done" boy did that hit home for me! I had a minor melt-down at my workplace not that long ago when an "equal treatment plan" was being presented, but all it spoke of was gender, age and parent/non parent. The only thing mentioned about disability was that "it's important that our building is accessible". First of all, it is not. Second of all, where are blind/visually impaired, deaf/hard of hearing, neuopsychiatric diagnosis, dyslexics and all the ones even I don't think about?! Grrr!
Molly, I didn't know that you have IBS as well! Do you think you could make a video on how you have to live differently with that, and tips for what helps you manage it? I got diagnosed with IBS in July but have suffered with it my whole life, I'm still not doing well and need some tips if you have any
I have IBS too, and ginger lemon honey drops (brand Upspring, they're called Stomach Settle drops, on Amazon) have been a lifesaver. Try cutting out dairy. Get a stool to put your feet on when you go to the bathroom. Try going to a kinesiologist to find out what your body specifically is sensitive to (not the same as an allergy). Finally, consider a lifestyle diet change--I've been on a zero-carb diet for six months, and it's very slowly helping.
Hi! You NEED to check out the Queen of IBS...and I will give you a link.
First things first, keep record of what you eat, so whenever you get a flair you can determine why. Eating regular meals, drinking the proper amount of water, and (as much as you can) getting full and regular sleep, are all helpful. They won't cure it by any means, but they definitely help!
Find natural remedies for things like heartburn, so that you can take them more regularly if needed.
For me, I've found that highly seasoned meat (especially pork) messes with my stomach. I tend to respond better to whole grains, low grease, softer foods.
I wish you best of luck with your journey, it's not easy for anyone, but you're not alone!
I would say make sure you drink your 2L of water everyday. This is SO important!
Also don't cut out foods like gluten or dairy, unless they're actually causing problems and it's been proven you have an intolerance to them (this is done through your dietician (highly recommend a dietician) by way of low fodmap diets etc). The reason being everyone reacts to different food differently, and once you cut it out, it may be hard to eat it again. I literally can't eat wheat anymore and i HATE it. Everyone says being gluten free is great, but I honestly don't know what planet they're on 😅
Listen to your body. Foods can build up in our system over the course of 2 weeks. So I can eat spicy kimchi no problems for 4 days straight. On the 5th day I'm having a full on painful upset/attack. This makes it hard to pinpoint foods that may be a problem. But again I'd see a dietician and record what you eat.
Also go with the flow, what's going to happen is going to happen. Avoid stress as much as you can, it always upsets my tummy.
Also, try not to eat too much rubbishy stuff. I used to have a lot of reactions to unknown foods when I was a teenager. But I was drinking things like coke, store made jelly, random brands of snacks and drinks that were really processed.
Now I rarely have an attack. I still eat snacks and fun things, but I stick more to well known brands, less processed food and just eat better. Like if I want a snack, I'll make a cake or buy one from the bakery, rather than a pre packaged one with a lengthy expiry date that could pretty much survive an apocalypse 😅
And just, don't drink coke. Just don't. It's so rough on our bodies.
I hope that helps 🙂 I'm happy to try to help with any questions you have! I've had IBS for 25 yrs now so hopefully can help a bit!
Obviously this isn't medical advice, I'm not a medical practitioner!
Disability discrimination is insane. My mom was recently diagnosed, with a condition she has probably had since childhood but has gotten progressively worse over the years, and people were terrible to her when she started carrying her cane. She doesn't necessarily need it for walking, but her condition causes bouts of vertigo and severe loss of balance, especially on uneven ground so she usually carries it. People who see her with it and not actually using it to walk tend to act really nasty towards it. She also had coworkers who tried to say her disability made her incapable of doing her job, which is just untrue. I don't know why people have to be so awful
I am an example of a person who came across both channels not looking for disability content, then stayed and learned a lot about it along the way, so having mixed topics is working to reach wider audience!