My 1st thought was "If someone brought me a 'pot plant', I'd be looking around for police or candid camera b/c this Must be a set up or a joke." Then I replayed the video so I could focus on your great content. 🤷♀️ "Pot" ( marijuana) isn't legal here. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Fascinating to hear your point of view, Mark. I’m struggling with receiving anything without any reason, because I’m conditioned to receive only because I did something to deserve it first. I feel obligated to give back or do something in return, so most of the time I reject things from men because I think I will owe them something, usually in the form of sexual orientation, in return as a thank you. After watching your video and listening to how you explain giving and receiving, I realized that I need to learn how to just be in the receiving mode and not overthink things and not feel like I need to do anything in return unless I actually want to do something with this person. Thank you, Mark. 🤗🙏
I am in a new relationship and I’ve always taken turns paying for dates and opening doors. Like, whoever gets there first. But I noticed this guy seemed a little irritated about it. Finally, he just told me, nicely, “If you keep opening a man’s door, he’ll stop doing it for you bc he thinks you don’t need him.” Now, even if I’m at the door first, I wait and he opens it for me. Gotta say, I’m all about feminism, but it’s amazing to be treated like a queen ❤️ He also always makes sure he’s attentive to me, but not smothering, and even walks on the outside part of the sidewalk. He’s so awesome!
I'm married to a wonderful man we both love giving and receiving we are balanced. But I must say we both have had several relationships where this never happened. I'm so thankful to have him in my life at the age of 69.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Omg! I've spent the whole day wondering "Do I deserve this??" and also "Does he think I deserve this?! These questions were stuck iny head and I felt desperate. Thank you so much Mark! Really, thank you!
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Mark, this is probably one of your best videos. You sank deeply in psychology and opened a number of wow effects. I havent found anything similiar and covering this topic! Well done!
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
This is amazing. I've been a giver my whole life. I think it's from the teaching in religion that better give than receive but the context is to give wealth and be caring to poor and people who need most. But we tend to do it to all people we know and not realizing that they have to learn to be a giver too. I really have to set boundaries not only in relationships with men but also friends who trap me in pseudo receiving. I really have to learn to say no and walk away now. Thank you this makes me feel more understanding about what I'm feeling now
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
This is the best video I’ve viewed on your channel. I cried and cried. Everything you said is how I have felt the last 6years but have never been able to put it into words. Thank you ❤️ Ive been a giver all my life, especially during the last 6years when I was constantly around a man who was solely a receiver, these events have left me feeling the lowest and emptiest I have ever felt. The man had no respect for me- he never took me seriously and never cared enough. Having an emotionally unavailable mother growing up didn’t help either. I’ll be watching part 2!
I'm a giver. Always have been as far as I can remember. It got me used and taken advantage of. I was manipulated and emotionally/verbally abused and bullied. This led to low self esteem and not being able to accept compliments. I've 'grown' since those days and I love to give to those who appreciate it and have learned to take compliments. Its about self respect, self worth as you said Mark. And I can be independent and still lady enough to enjoy having doors opened for me etc.
I agree with you. I'm more independent now, yet I appreciate a man who will treat me like a lady and open doors, pull out my chair, help me with my coat,and even keep me to the inside of the curb. Yes, ladies! They do still exist! I've had two.
Another great video, Mark. I've had to do a lot of work on this one, being an introvert. I grew up with little to no self-esteem. Not good enough. Not attractive enough. Wish I was more like... I was lucky enough to find a husband who loved me the way I was and made me feel better about myself. After he passed, I had to fight my way back through depression. I'd lost my friend, my lover, my cheerleader, the man who spoiled me rotten and made me feel beautiful. I got into counseling and began working on the grief and working on myself. It's been 8 years now. I love myself. I'm comfortable in my own skin. I'm comfortable in my own company. I'm quite a growing personal growth library and have 3 relationship coaches I respect and listen to on TH-cam. I'm loving my journey of getting to know myself and to keep working on myself. So grateful to you and the others out there who encourage us to be our best self. I found another gentleman who treats as well as my husband did. I feel so blessed.
I grew up as a trained giver... and have been plagued with doing and giving too much for most part of my adulthood :( But I have learned lots and have improved significantly and videos like this are super helpful reminders!! Thank you for your great work and for not choosing to stay at home with your cat instead 😅
This is an amazing video! I too am an avid giver raised on the principles that it is better to give than receive. As of recent, I can feel my soul starving to receive more as being an avid giver becomes exhausting. So that is what I intend to do. Start receiving more! Allow myself to be deserving & accepting of it all! Thank you Mark 🙏🏾❤
I can't believe how good this video is. Thank you so much for the great insights! I especially loved the part where you talked about conditioned giving as a way to show love and about the discomfort of receiving because it triggers a fear of being/feeling indebted. Those are things that can easily apply to friendships as well, which makes the information even more useful.
Thanks so much, Marina! Glad it resonated with you. I'm always happy to share my thoughts and knowledge with others, and I'm glad that you found it helpful. xx
I so love this one, Mark ‼️ The thought about protection against the covert pseudo receiver....showed me how I have hard times receiving. I was raised to be a giver.
This video resonated with me on several levels! The analogies you gave about growing up were right on target with me, and the way you explained that giving is a control made me look at giving in a TOTALLY different light! Loved it! Also, I've lately been thinking about my reasons for giving.... I was raised "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you..." Which then makes me think of my giving is more selfish rather than genuine...?
When you date a guy who has a lot of money and very little expenses, yet that man makes you feel bad for giving anything to you or for paying for your meals, this is the biggest red flag.
I have noticed that in my 2 marriages, I gave too much and I was not loved. I have noticed that I have continued doing that. I am stepping back and want to receive, if he chooses to give.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Yes this is golden! I've had to separate myself from my family in order to figure out my issues and how to resolve them. It was definitely affecting my dating life and I had to do a lot of inner work.
I am being "taught" by a friend, I reconnected with after 20 years, that yes! I deserve compliments and being told nice things and to accept them as being honestly meant . And you know what? I am learning that ! That not everything nice someone does/says has a price or is a lie, that there are some people that are real and that it is nice and good to just receive , and damn a heartfelt compliment really accepted lifts ones spirit! 😁😜am rambling, but I hope I made what I meant understandable
Better to give than receive is Biblical. Acts 20:35 "In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” It has taken many years to deliberately think differently, allow myself to receive, with this verse stuck in my head in my childhood. Thank you for acknowledging this related to feminine energy
I love your analogy about the potted plant debt, and especially the description of a boundary-less childhood creating an adult who gives too much because we didn’t receive enough love and affection from our family growing up.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Thanks for the message. Working on being a better receiver. Sorry. Got distracted - "Pot plant " may have a different meaning in the US vs Australia. 😄
Very true, and I really struggle with receiving. In fact, I push gifts away because I don’t trust that there won’t be a debt to be repaid (childhood and former marriage trauma). But it makes sense that you need to be able to receive because if you don’t, the only people you’ll attract and feel comfortable with are the chronic takers who won’t give you anything. Nobody wants that. Looking forward to the next video. Thx so much 😊
As a native English speaker living in a Latin culture, I observe that native English-speaking women tend to go after love by Giving, whereas Latin women tend to go after love by Receiving (with a few exceptions, obviously). So there's a cultural aspect also. Maybe cause in many Latin countries, women don't have the same financial leverage/purchasing power as women in English-speaking countries, so they have no choice but to receive. How ironic then that women in English-speaking (and Germanic also) countries tend to have superior career opportunities and financial independence, and, yet, often, are so busy giving, being in their masculine energy I guess, that they find it harder to receive and be vulnerable. Another super important issue is motherhood. Women who are mothers learn to be giving, to put others first, and to control. Difficult then to learn how to be a bit selfish, receive more and be vulnerable. (Am writing a book called "The Selfish Mother".....) But, hey, it is only by receiving that we can allow our male partners to give, which they SOOOOO yearn to do, but they sometimes find it difficult with self-sufficient women like ourselves..... It is indeed an art to be (re-) learned! Looking forward to concrete suggestions/tools for cultivating that ! One of your many strengths as a coach, and a great feature of many of this channel's videos! Cheers
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
Its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 5 years ended, but i couldn't just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
I am loving your videos and I’ve been binge watching Markflix 😂 This video convicted me to look at how I receive instead of constantly being a giver. Thank you Sir! 💓🙏🏽😁
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Felt like you were taking to me. I am a great giver and I do get taken advantage of. I grew up in the very house you used as an example-you should be glad you have a roof over your head. “Giving is better than receiving”…..I’ll be working on changing my mindset. Thank you for this video.
The Bible in Acts 20:35 states that “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive” which teaches that there is joy in the act of giving when it is done with pure motives.
Thank you for this!!! I was raised by a narcissistic mother, which that’s all I did was give to her and take care of her, my emotions, needs, wants, opinions didn’t matter. So I am thankful you made this video. Coming from that upbringing, it feels wrong receiving, but I have been undoing the programming in counseling and watching your channel to know that is NOT wrong. Thank you so much, and I appreciate you. 😁❤️❤️ Keep doing what you do best! Thank you Mark! 😁❤️🎉🙌
Have a completely different perspective on the saying: "it is better to give than receive." And that selfishness is fine, as long it coexists equally with selflessness. And that your self-esteem, whether good or bad, affects whether you see your love life from a scarcity or abundance point of view.
Brilliant, thank you Mark! I’ve been a giver all my life, and the men I’ve attracted is proof of my fear of vulnerability! I am learning so much from you... and enjoy all the eye candy as well!
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Of course. I ignored it. Thank you for your work. I’m in the biggest growth period of my life. You are so knowledgeable Mark. I really appreciate all of your help! ♥️
This is the one of the best videos you've made connecting more psychological reasons into your content. I know you do this a lot and that is a lot why you are one of my aboslute favorites on relationship psychology and advice. But still in a very easy clear format. Great work on the rethoric. Much appreciated!
Omgosh thank u so much for this Mark ! I feel like almost all the points you mentioned I struggle with! Especially about the pseudo receiving and it being a vulnerable action to receive. Thank u so much for explaining it in a way that i truly got it 😊🥰
Mark, What you are saying here makes perfect sense and I am a little nonplussed over this video. This is because the quote you gave is from the Apostle Paul in Acts 20:35. Since I was raised in a very conservative Christian church, this admonishment rattles around in my subconscious and perhaps I am driven by it. I have workeda lot on refraiming these Bible verses in a more humane, loving way. For instance, Jesus said "Love others, as you love yourself" and it has been pointed out to me that means that we must love ourselves first. Virginia Satir, on of the founding grandmothers of family therapy, said that "you can't give out of an empty bean pot (I.e., our inner self). I do invariably give more than I receive (still working on recovering from the codependence I was taught back to my birth). And, I have a hard time being given compliments for my beauty. I am practicing saying, " Thank you", on dating apps, and, first, I don't believe it, and, second, I think I am so much more than my looks. I labored and rewrote my profile and I don't remember one man commenting on anything I so carefully wrote. 🤦♀️ I know that men have to be attracted physically to want to connect and yet 🙅♀️
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Ive been listening to you more and more and really appreciate your clear way of communicating and sharing, plus speaking from real in depth experience, and can tell you have a heart to really help your followers.
I actually have a problem in receiving, it has been difficult for me, because i have always been a giver... And i don't know, how to receive, as somebody does something for me, i feel extremely overwhelmed, i guess because of childhood upbringing, thank u mark, such a great advice, i definitely need to work upon it
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Interesting video. As a child my mum was on her own and working 2 jobs. I learnt very early that helping out kept things sweet. Have spent my life 'giving' by looking after others and find it hard to accept kindness or even compliments and affection.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Thanks Mark. You made some very good valid points. I resonated with about 4 of them. Ouch. I grew up being like an emotional empty bucket with holes in it. So I was taught about giving more than receiving and it really felt uncomfortable because how can you give when you have nothing to give in the first place. Fortunately when it came to my two sons it wasn't a difficult thing to do as I made sure they got the love and attention they deserved. Outside that I felt depleted.
Hello! My name is Mary and I would like to thank you for this video. Recieving was a difficult thing for me as I had been conditioned to think of receiving anything with the attachment of nothing is for free. After watching your video I decided that I would try receiving keeping in mind your video. I was an older music store looking for sheet music. The owner offered me some old music he had and when I went to pay for it he said just take it. I thanked him and as I left I immediately got the urge to do something for him. I told myself I didn't have to, got in my car and went home. I struggled with that for the rest of the. It was wonderful to better understand myself a little more. Thank you!
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
I appreciate you clarifying about giving and receiving. Great and useful info. I got a kick out of the reference to bringing the neighbor a pot plant. I live in Hawaii and here we refer to pot plant as Marijuana but I had a sense you meant “potted plant”. Very cute! Or did you mean MJ? ThAnks for all you videos.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
I have an issue in receiving but I don't have a problem in giving! I have experienced receiving which in other hand, I need to pay in one way or the other and I don't like that, it now makes me feel like it's not genuine! Thanks though 💕
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
I really needed this because keep having this problem about trying to hard in my personal feelings over someone that I don't even know that I can't have in my life what is the best advice on loving someone that would've had known for awhile
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
I love your work. I struggle with receiving. Im dating a wealthy man who asked me what I want for my birthday or what I like. I find it very uncomfortable to ask for anything. He told me the other day that since I’m uncomfortable with gifts, he’ll reserve gifting for birthdays and Christmas. Im not thrilled about it but I also don’t know how to approach the topic to change things. Help!
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
It’s better to give than receive is a Bible verse in Acts 20:35 and its all about helping the vulnerable. Sick people, poor people who need help, homeless people, orphans, solo mothers and solo parents, widows etc :)
I know a lot of mine is because I am used to the bad treatment. How I was raised and I keep choosing men that start out good but end up abusive. But why do I choose neglectful men? I think that has to do with the low self worth. How do I fix that?
Some of us are brought up to be a giver and trained to look down at selfishness. It can be difficult to distinguish for some people, especially if you came from an ethnic religious cultural background. Your videos are amazing, light hearted at times yet it hits the cores! Would you have an office or team where a follow up can be referred? Thank you.
Hey Mark right now I am receiving your all points but not sure l apply all these in my life or not because now the situation which l handle right now l don't want to give anything to anyone as well not interested to receive anything from anyone , anyway interesting vdo and I also know these all things are very important in life. Thank you.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
All my male friend treat me well except one man. And may be it because i put him on the pedestal but after he chose for marrying a new girl. I am too sad and too silent n ignore tht man. Now they chase me. But i dont want him anymore because i dont like liar. For me, a liar is not expensive man. I need an honest n trusthworty man. I like chasing something and always ignore who is chasing me. But now.. i realized LOVE is not like tht. Cause of heartbreak he made. I realized.. we can love all if we want love. Love is here in our heart dont have to chase. Whoever is loved is beautiful, but doesnt mean whoever beautiful is loved.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
An answer to your question - “It’s better to give than receive” from the Bible, in the book of Acts. And yes, it’s not useful because the core of it is missing as you stated. Excellent episode
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book). 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
God said it is better to give than receive, and on its face value it does sound a bit backwards, but if everyone is “giving” then everyone is “receiving.” It’s a community statement, not meant for intimate relationships.
Wow! You explain things in such easy and impactful ways, Id love to have you as my coach! I was trained to be a giver and thus receiving is hard for me. Need to work on that.
As always leave your story below! and what are your thoughts on this video? I'd love to know :D
Im fed up when i do good i get bad in return what to do🇯🇲🙄
Great video post
Such a great video
My 1st thought was "If someone brought me a 'pot plant', I'd be looking around for police or candid camera b/c this Must be a set up or a joke." Then I replayed the video so I could focus on your great content.
🤷♀️ "Pot" ( marijuana) isn't legal here. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Fascinating to hear your point of view, Mark. I’m struggling with receiving anything without any reason, because I’m conditioned to receive only because I did something to deserve it first. I feel obligated to give back or do something in return, so most of the time I reject things from men because I think I will owe them something, usually in the form of sexual orientation, in return as a thank you. After watching your video and listening to how you explain giving and receiving, I realized that I need to learn how to just be in the receiving mode and not overthink things and not feel like I need to do anything in return unless I actually want to do something with this person. Thank you, Mark. 🤗🙏
I am in a new relationship and I’ve always taken turns paying for dates and opening doors. Like, whoever gets there first. But I noticed this guy seemed a little irritated about it. Finally, he just told me, nicely, “If you keep opening a man’s door, he’ll stop doing it for you bc he thinks you don’t need him.” Now, even if I’m at the door first, I wait and he opens it for me. Gotta say, I’m all about feminism, but it’s amazing to be treated like a queen ❤️ He also always makes sure he’s attentive to me, but not smothering, and even walks on the outside part of the sidewalk. He’s so awesome!
I'm married to a wonderful man we both love giving and receiving we are balanced. But I must say we both have had several relationships where this never happened. I'm so thankful to have him in my life at the age of 69.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
😮
I'm a giver, so I got taken for granted. I've now learnt not to give so much.
Omg! I've spent the whole day wondering "Do I deserve this??" and also "Does he think I deserve this?! These questions were stuck iny head and I felt desperate. Thank you so much Mark! Really, thank you!
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
I hope your in a better place xxxx
@@sidneyh11 Thank you Beckie! You made me realise how much I've grown since that video. I'm in a much better place now, thanks 😊
@@kiki59400 aww I was hoping so , I'm made up for you . Xx
Mark, this is probably one of your best videos. You sank deeply in psychology and opened a number of wow effects. I havent found anything similiar and covering this topic! Well done!
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
I had the same thoughts
This is amazing. I've been a giver my whole life. I think it's from the teaching in religion that better give than receive but the context is to give wealth and be caring to poor and people who need most. But we tend to do it to all people we know and not realizing that they have to learn to be a giver too. I really have to set boundaries not only in relationships with men but also friends who trap me in pseudo receiving. I really have to learn to say no and walk away now. Thank you this makes me feel more understanding about what I'm feeling now
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
This is the best video I’ve viewed on your channel. I cried and cried. Everything you said is how I have felt the last 6years but have never been able to put it into words. Thank you ❤️ Ive been a giver all my life, especially during the last 6years when I was constantly around a man who was solely a receiver, these events have left me feeling the lowest and emptiest I have ever felt. The man had no respect for me- he never took me seriously and never cared enough. Having an emotionally unavailable mother growing up didn’t help either. I’ll be watching part 2!
I'm a giver. Always have been as far as I can remember. It got me used and taken advantage of. I was manipulated and emotionally/verbally abused and bullied. This led to low self esteem and not being able to accept compliments. I've 'grown' since those days and I love to give to those who appreciate it and have learned to take compliments. Its about self respect, self worth as you said Mark. And I can be independent and still lady enough to enjoy having doors opened for me etc.
"And I can be independent and still lady enough to enjoy having doors opened for me etc."
I agree with you. I'm more independent now, yet I appreciate a man who will treat me like a lady and open doors, pull out my chair, help me with my coat,and even keep me to the inside of the curb. Yes, ladies! They do still exist! I've had two.
Another great video, Mark. I've had to do a lot of work on this one, being an introvert. I grew up with little to no self-esteem. Not good enough. Not attractive enough. Wish I was more like... I was lucky enough to find a husband who loved me the way I was and made me feel better about myself. After he passed, I had to fight my way back through depression. I'd lost my friend, my lover, my cheerleader, the man who spoiled me rotten and made me feel beautiful. I got into counseling and began working on the grief and working on myself. It's been 8 years now. I love myself. I'm comfortable in my own skin. I'm comfortable in my own company. I'm quite a growing personal growth library and have 3 relationship coaches I respect and listen to on TH-cam. I'm loving my journey of getting to know myself and to keep working on myself. So grateful to you and the others out there who encourage us to be our best self. I found another gentleman who treats as well as my husband did. I feel so blessed.
I grew up as a trained giver... and have been plagued with doing and giving too much for most part of my adulthood :( But I have learned lots and have improved significantly and videos like this are super helpful reminders!! Thank you for your great work and for not choosing to stay at home with your cat instead 😅
The part about giving being a control thing was a light bulb moment for me. Thank you for the vid
This is an amazing video! I too am an avid giver raised on the principles that it is better to give than receive. As of recent, I can feel my soul starving to receive more as being an avid giver becomes exhausting. So that is what I intend to do. Start receiving more! Allow myself to be deserving & accepting of it all! Thank you Mark 🙏🏾❤
I can't believe how good this video is. Thank you so much for the great insights! I especially loved the part where you talked about conditioned giving as a way to show love and about the discomfort of receiving because it triggers a fear of being/feeling indebted. Those are things that can easily apply to friendships as well, which makes the information even more useful.
Thanks so much, Marina! Glad it resonated with you. I'm always happy to share my thoughts and knowledge with others, and I'm glad that you found it helpful. xx
I so love this one, Mark ‼️
The thought about protection against the covert pseudo receiver....showed me how I have hard times receiving. I was raised to be a giver.
This is me! I'm the Giver in most of my relationships. Then when men turn into takers, I'm turned off! Receiving is vulnerable, it put you out there!
This video resonated with me on several levels! The analogies you gave about growing up were right on target with me, and the way you explained that giving is a control made me look at giving in a TOTALLY different light! Loved it! Also, I've lately been thinking about my reasons for giving.... I was raised "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you..." Which then makes me think of my giving is more selfish rather than genuine...?
When you date a guy who has a lot of money and very little expenses, yet that man makes you feel bad for giving anything to you or for paying for your meals, this is the biggest red flag.
Sheesh! You deserve better than this man! 🙄
I have noticed that in my 2 marriages, I gave too much and I was not loved. I have noticed that I have continued doing that. I am stepping back and want to receive, if he chooses to give.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Yes this is golden! I've had to separate myself from my family in order to figure out my issues and how to resolve them. It was definitely affecting my dating life and I had to do a lot of inner work.
I am being "taught" by a friend, I reconnected with after 20 years, that yes! I deserve compliments and being told nice things and to accept them as being honestly meant . And you know what? I am learning that ! That not everything nice someone does/says has a price or is a lie, that there are some people that are real and that it is nice and good to just receive , and damn a heartfelt compliment really accepted lifts ones spirit! 😁😜am rambling, but I hope I made what I meant understandable
Actually you’re perfect and you didn’t ramble at all
@@rebeccahjohnson9339 thank you so much, I am blessed to have such a friend, even if there is an ocean between us.
Better to give than receive is Biblical. Acts 20:35 "In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” It has taken many years to deliberately think differently, allow myself to receive, with this verse stuck in my head in my childhood. Thank you for acknowledging this related to feminine energy
I love your analogy about the potted plant debt, and especially the description of a boundary-less childhood creating an adult who gives too much because we didn’t receive enough love and affection from our family growing up.
🙏🙏🙏
I felt like that “you are beautiful!” was just for me 🥰😂
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Thanks for the message. Working on being a better receiver. Sorry. Got distracted -
"Pot plant " may have a different meaning in the US vs Australia. 😄
😂
I got a good chuckle 🤭!
I don’t get it 😅
@@Quntah888 a pot plant in the US is marijuana!
All this pot plant talk is pretty standard on the west coast.....pretty funny though :)
Very true, and I really struggle with receiving. In fact, I push gifts away because I don’t trust that there won’t be a debt to be repaid (childhood and former marriage trauma). But it makes sense that you need to be able to receive because if you don’t, the only people you’ll attract and feel comfortable with are the chronic takers who won’t give you anything. Nobody wants that.
Looking forward to the next video. Thx so much 😊
Right, Christine. Keep working on it. 🙂 Thanks for sharing! x
As a native English speaker living in a Latin culture, I observe that native English-speaking women tend to go after love by Giving, whereas Latin women tend to go after love by Receiving (with a few exceptions, obviously). So there's a cultural aspect also. Maybe cause in many Latin countries, women don't have the same financial leverage/purchasing power as women in English-speaking countries, so they have no choice but to receive. How ironic then that women in English-speaking (and Germanic also) countries tend to have superior career opportunities and financial independence, and, yet, often, are so busy giving, being in their masculine energy I guess, that they find it harder to receive and be vulnerable. Another super important issue is motherhood. Women who are mothers learn to be giving, to put others first, and to control. Difficult then to learn how to be a bit selfish, receive more and be vulnerable. (Am writing a book called "The Selfish Mother".....) But, hey, it is only by receiving that we can allow our male partners to give, which they SOOOOO yearn to do, but they sometimes find it difficult with self-sufficient women like ourselves..... It is indeed an art to be (re-) learned! Looking forward to concrete suggestions/tools for cultivating that ! One of your many strengths as a coach, and a great feature of many of this channel's videos! Cheers
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Latinex
Who gives this a thumbs down? It is stunning advise.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
Its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 5 years ended, but i couldn't just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
Intriguing! I'm curious, how did you find a spiritual counselor, and what's the most effective way for me to reach him?
Meet father Akunna, a renowned spiritual counselor acclaimed for his talent in bringing back ex-partners.
Thank you for this valuable information.
I love this video, it’s not just about how to get a man to treat you right its about friendships and family too
I am loving your videos and I’ve been binge watching Markflix 😂 This video convicted me to look at how I receive instead of constantly being a giver. Thank you Sir! 💓🙏🏽😁
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
@@Markrosenfeld I knew it wasn’t you Mark, I reported it anyway 😊
Felt like you were taking to me. I am a great giver and I do get taken advantage of. I grew up in the very house you used as an example-you should be glad you have a roof over your head. “Giving is better than receiving”…..I’ll be working on changing my mindset. Thank you for this video.
The Bible in Acts 20:35 states that “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive” which teaches that there is joy in the act of giving when it is done with pure motives.
exactly. its about being human
Thank you for this!!! I was raised by a narcissistic mother, which that’s all I did was give to her and take care of her, my emotions, needs, wants, opinions didn’t matter. So I am thankful you made this video. Coming from that upbringing, it feels wrong receiving, but I have been undoing the programming in counseling and watching your channel to know that is NOT wrong. Thank you so much, and I appreciate you. 😁❤️❤️ Keep doing what you do best! Thank you Mark! 😁❤️🎉🙌
This is so true Mark. I used to give all the time and receive nothing till the day I ended that marriage. It was unhealthy relationship.
Have a completely different perspective on the saying: "it is better to give than receive." And that selfishness is fine, as long it coexists equally with selflessness. And that your self-esteem, whether good or bad, affects whether you see your love life from a scarcity or abundance point of view.
Brilliant, thank you Mark! I’ve been a giver all my life, and the men I’ve attracted is proof of my fear of vulnerability! I am learning so much from you... and enjoy all the eye candy as well!
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Of course. I ignored it. Thank you for your work. I’m in the biggest growth period of my life. You are so knowledgeable Mark. I really appreciate all of your help! ♥️
This is the one of the best videos you've made connecting more psychological reasons into your content. I know you do this a lot and that is a lot why you are one of my aboslute favorites on relationship psychology and advice. But still in a very easy clear format. Great work on the rethoric. Much appreciated!
That's a beautiful comment, Emma. Thank you! Means a lot! x
@@Markrosenfeld You're truely welcome! You deserved it :)
Omgosh thank u so much for this Mark ! I feel like almost all the points you mentioned I struggle with! Especially about the pseudo receiving and it being a vulnerable action to receive. Thank u so much for explaining it in a way that i truly got it 😊🥰
Mark, What you are saying here makes perfect sense and I am a little nonplussed over this video. This is because the quote you gave is from the Apostle Paul in Acts 20:35. Since I was raised in a very conservative Christian church, this admonishment rattles around in my subconscious and perhaps I am driven by it. I have workeda lot on refraiming these Bible verses in a more humane, loving way. For instance, Jesus said "Love others, as you love yourself" and it has been pointed out to me that means that we must love ourselves first. Virginia Satir, on of the founding grandmothers of family therapy, said that "you can't give out of an empty bean pot (I.e., our inner self). I do invariably give more than I receive (still working on recovering from the codependence I was taught back to my birth). And, I have a hard time being given compliments for my beauty. I am practicing saying, " Thank you", on dating apps, and, first, I don't believe it, and, second, I think I am so much more than my looks. I labored and rewrote my profile and I don't remember one man commenting on anything I so carefully wrote. 🤦♀️ I know that men have to be attracted physically to want to connect and yet 🙅♀️
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
@@Markrosenfeld I realized it probably was a scammer!
Ive been listening to you more and more and really appreciate your clear way of communicating and sharing, plus speaking from real in depth experience, and can tell you have a heart to really help your followers.
I actually have a problem in receiving, it has been difficult for me, because i have always been a giver... And i don't know, how to receive, as somebody does something for me, i feel extremely overwhelmed, i guess because of childhood upbringing, thank u mark, such a great advice, i definitely need to work upon it
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Interesting video. As a child my mum was on her own and working 2 jobs. I learnt very early that helping out kept things sweet. Have spent my life 'giving' by looking after others and find it hard to accept kindness or even compliments and affection.
This video made alot of sense.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Great advice as always Mark! I grew up pseudo-receiving by a narcissistic mother and having a hard time with relationships as an adult.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Thanks Mark. You made some very good valid points. I resonated with about 4 of them. Ouch. I grew up being like an emotional empty bucket with holes in it. So I was taught about giving more than receiving and it really felt uncomfortable because how can you give when you have nothing to give in the first place. Fortunately when it came to my two sons it wasn't a difficult thing to do as I made sure they got the love and attention they deserved. Outside that I felt depleted.
@@MarcoGuedes-r9h Thanks for asking. I'm having psychological help. Can only take it day by day. See how things go.
Hello! My name is Mary and I would like to thank you for this video. Recieving was a difficult thing for me as I had been conditioned to think of receiving anything with the attachment of nothing is for free. After watching your video I decided that I would try receiving keeping in mind your video. I was an older music store looking for sheet music. The owner offered me some old music he had and when I went to pay for it he said just take it. I thanked him and as I left I immediately got the urge to do something for him. I told myself I didn't have to, got in my car and went home. I struggled with that for the rest of the. It was wonderful to better understand myself a little more. Thank you!
BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE!! 👍👍❤️❤️‼️THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
I appreciate you clarifying about giving and receiving. Great and useful info. I got a kick out of the reference to bringing the neighbor a pot plant. I live in Hawaii and here we refer to pot plant as Marijuana but I had a sense you meant “potted plant”. Very cute! Or did you mean MJ?
ThAnks for all you videos.
Very well explained Mark, selfishness or self fulfilled, 🙂, the feminine, open to receiving, the masculine, giving, we are both, yin/yang
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
I read something: Life involves series of giving and taking, taking and giving 🙏🏻 I.Am a good receiver but I see to it I can reciprocate it.
I have an issue in receiving but I don't have a problem in giving!
I have experienced receiving which in other hand, I need to pay in one way or the other and I don't like that, it now makes me feel like it's not genuine!
Thanks though 💕
Gosh this video is definitely for me!
Can't wait for your next video about this topic!!! Thanks Mark ☺️🤠
Thank you, baby1! Glad you got something from the video. x
@@Markrosenfeld 🙌☺️
Sooo good!! Thank you.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
All great advice!!! I wish I had seen all this years ago, but I’m still going to listen
Thank you!!
Thanks Mark! So many light bulb moments 💡Never thought of giving as a control thing before 😬 Look forward to your next video 👍🏻😊
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
More videos about long distance relationship mark please 🙏🏻❤️
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Very insightful
Learned so
Much that I never knew about my self.
wow. pseudo receiving my mind is being blown with this video realizing my hiccups in dating.
Thanks , that’s depend on the relationship between the giver and receiver
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Fabulous insight. Particularly regarding receiving. Going on a first date today. Will be open to all the ideas here. Thanks Mark
Ooh, lucky you! We are just opening up where I live- it's weird to think about socialising!
Yes I deserve better
Excellent video, thanks!❤
this was an interesting video Mark
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
This is video is IMPORTANT. Not kidding, it is. Thanks Mark!
Thank you, Judith! x
How do you pull
Those sleeves through 😂 sorry I got distracted but yes I hear you be a good receiver
😂😂 Possibly they are elastic
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
I really needed this because keep having this problem about trying to hard in my personal feelings over someone that I don't even know that I can't have in my life what is the best advice on loving someone that would've had known for awhile
Pinned by Mark Rosenfełd huh
Pinned by Mark Rosenfełd um thx
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
I love your work. I struggle with receiving. Im dating a wealthy man who asked me what I want for my birthday or what I like. I find it very uncomfortable to ask for anything. He told me the other day that since I’m uncomfortable with gifts, he’ll reserve gifting for birthdays and Christmas. Im not thrilled about it but I also don’t know how to approach the topic to change things. Help!
100% family; friends & loves over my entire life 🇦🇺👍🏻
Yep! That's ME! A sucky receiver! Love this video! GREAT shirt btw!
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
It’s better to give than receive is a Bible verse in Acts 20:35 and its all about helping the vulnerable. Sick people, poor people who need help, homeless people, orphans, solo mothers and solo parents, widows etc :)
I Enjoyed Watching This Video it’s Help Me Out Lot Thank you 🌹❤️🌹
I know a lot of mine is because I am used to the bad treatment. How I was raised and I keep choosing men that start out good but end up abusive. But why do I choose neglectful men? I think that has to do with the low self worth. How do I fix that?
Interesting ! Im gonna
Take this to Heart !
This I'll look at again
To get the concept .
Thanks keep Teaching .
That's a beautiful comment, Lorrie! Thank you! Glad you got something from the video. x
Some of us are brought up to be a giver and trained to look down at selfishness. It can be difficult to distinguish for some people, especially if you came from an ethnic religious cultural background. Your videos are amazing, light hearted at times yet it hits the cores! Would you have an office or team where a follow up can be referred? Thank you.
Brilliant Mark, I've learned so much from this and your other videos. Thank you.
Thank you so much Mark. You have an excellent way of explaining. This video is helping me so much!
This is a FANTASTIC video! Thank you 🙏
I over give and I’m terrible at receiving. Wow that’s eye opening.
Thanks for watching and writing in, Tiffany! x
Hey Mark right now I am receiving your all points but not sure l apply all these in my life or not because now the situation which l handle right now l don't want to give anything to anyone as well not interested to receive anything from anyone , anyway interesting vdo and I also know these all things are very important in life. Thank you.
Your videos are so helpful! Thank you so much! I was wondering if you currently do a podcast? Would be amazing to listen!
Awesome video, Mark. ❤️
I always was a giver got abused lot by men because of it. Don't worry though I am being selfish from now on 😆 thank you for the video xx
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
When a person shows/tells you who they are believe them the first time. - Slightly modified, Maya Angelou quote.
Great reminders! 🌹
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
This is a really useful and great video!!!
One of my favourite videos so far. Thank you! :) x
You’re a great coach Mark! 👏🙏
Aww thank you, Negar! x
Number 5 is so deep in me I can not change it at all, I am 50 and I was thinking about this just the other day, how to train myself to receive :/
All my male friend treat me well except one man. And may be it because i put him on the pedestal but after he chose for marrying a new girl. I am too sad and too silent n ignore tht man. Now they chase me. But i dont want him anymore because i dont like liar. For me, a liar is not expensive man. I need an honest n trusthworty man. I like chasing something and always ignore who is chasing me. But now.. i realized LOVE is not like tht. Cause of heartbreak he made. I realized.. we can love all if we want love. Love is here in our heart dont have to chase. Whoever is loved is beautiful, but doesnt mean whoever beautiful is loved.
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
I really love your videos is good and it has really changed my perspective i am happy to learn.....thank you I deserve better😊
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Great video, thank you!
Looking forward to the next video!
🙏🙏🙏
Wow! Super insightful
An answer to your question - “It’s better to give than receive” from the Bible, in the book of Acts. And yes, it’s not useful because the core of it is missing as you stated. Excellent episode
❗️❗️❗️ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓: I would never ask for any kind of payment other than products and services relating directly to relationship coaching with me personally (or an online product I've built and branded; example, my book).
𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Lol in American English vernacular, a “pot plant” is a “weed plant aka a cannabis 😋🤩😂🥰😁
Thank you so much for sharing!! You’re very informative!
Thanks so much for the comment, Paula! Means a lot! x
Love this video. ❤️
God said it is better to give than receive, and on its face value it does sound a bit backwards, but if everyone is “giving” then everyone is “receiving.” It’s a community statement, not meant for intimate relationships.
Wow! You explain things in such easy and impactful ways, Id love to have you as my coach! I was trained to be a giver and thus receiving is hard for me. Need to work on that.