Mirror their silence/ match their energy… never nag or chase a man bcs they run and take you for granted….. keep moving and if they don’t reach out to you…… he’s immature or toxic
@@ramonaherring4271 African movie is offensive I'm Puerto Rican 100%. I know for a fact I Got Roots African and Ghana in my blood so all races are the bomb
A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, period. So if he ignores me I will step back & he will lose me. I don’t play these controlling mind games. I will only be with a man who values & appreciates me because I am a good woman who knows my worth.
Not necessarily men are completely irrational when it comes to Love. They can be in Love yet withdraw due to their own insecurities. This is why we are all listening to dating coaches on TH-cam.
- A man trades his time for the things he values! - A man doesn’t change his behavior unless something has changed in his life! - Do Not REWARD “Bad” behavior!
My boyfriend ghosted me a year ago after being with him for 15 years. I did exactly that I stopped communicating and pulled my energy back. He still hasn’t reached out, but at least I still have my dignity.
I remember when my ex ghosted me for no reason at all. I didn't say anything cos at that point, I had had my full of his inconsistencies and nonchalant behaviour. I deleted his contact and erased his existence from my life. About a month later, he started to call me to get closure on why I stopped talking to him. Almost 5 years later now and he still keeps calling and messaging me talking about how he misses me of which I don't even give a single fuck cos he barely even exists to me. People wanna play games with genuine people till their game backfires on them and they become the ones on their knees.
A man did this to me, we had been texting for some weeks & he kept “trying to plan a date” but he never did.. he asked about my availability & then never answered & he randomly ghosted me for 2 weeks straight… I simply never texted, called or pleaded… I let him be. He came back after 2 weeks like Nothing happened, asking how my day went & said “Sorry I was outta town for a bit for work” So I simply waited 6 hours & then texted him : “I understand you got busy with work but Its obvious you may not value my time. While I would have liked to have been told this directly through proper communication, I still wish you the best in your future dating pursuits !” He called me IMMEDIATELY .. apologizing & started explaining a whole story about family Issues, mom being sick randomly & etc… I still decided to move forward. Bc he could’ve communicated that
They 😂 always call immediately when you hold them accountable for ghosting or not communicating but not letting your emotions get the best of u. U did good and I’m glad u stood on business.
If a man ignores me, gives silent treatments, or is just breadcrumbing i will warn him 1 time i wont tolerate that behavior and if he doesnt heed that warning i walk away i will breakup and never look back. Even if it hurts like hell. Ive learned the hard way not to tolerate this.
@@marrie_may talk through your feelinfs with good friends or a therapist, and process them. Sometimes it takes a while but that over the moon butterflies feeling that you miss is not love its infatuation and anxiety. That feeling in the extreme is a red flag that this person is not good for you longterm and that feeling is actually addictive. A real, healthy relationship that feeling is still there, there is still chemistry but not as strong as a toxic connection and you feel safe and at peace. Just keep reminding yourself of all the bad times, all the time he didnt text you back for hours or days, all the dates he canceled and how that felt, and how it felt when you needed him and he disnt show up. In a good relationship your partner will not make you feel that rollercoaster of highs and lows. But longterm you will be happier and more emotionally healthy. It helps if you can learn to spot the warning signs like inconsistency early on before you are super invested and walk away then, even if there is alot of chemistry.
@@marrie_may oh the memories and flashbacks suck, when you start reminiscing about the good times you had with them also remind yourself of the bad... The times they didnt text or call for days, the canceled dates, whatever they did to hurt you. Keep reminding yourself of that. Those behaviors are not treating you like a queen. Also build your own self esteem, thinking that youll never find someone who will treat you well comes from a sense of low self worth. You can find better. Stop chasing chemistry, super strong chemistry in the beginning is a big red flag that you are being love bombed or that there is a push pull dynamic. Both of which are toxic.
I experienced this recently… I dated this guy for almost a year and this past Monday I listed all the things he wasn’t doing anymore. He ignored all my messages and I have not heard from him again. We are broken up because he has a toxic way of dealing with conflict in a relationship. I deserve so much more!
@ChildrenOfLightMinistries Your honesty is courageous. 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 The blessing is you know and are aware of where you are. Hopefully and prayerfully, you have begun taking steps to truly heal and be set free.🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Usually when they do this they are cheating or dealing with another woman. It's pretty simple. They all suck . Just disappear like a ghost when they do this and never respond again.
Not always. Maybe for a player, but I usually ignore women I like because maybe I'm just not in a talkative move. So I would rather keep my distance plus most women chase men now.
@@beachlover9705 look at today's attraction methods bro. It's usually 85% of the time the woman initating phone numbers, dates, or talking to the man first. 40 years ago it was opposite the man was the one who showed interest in pursuit. Now to clear up my opinion on why a Guys is silent, sometimes as a man it helps me eliminate foolishness. Now the difference between a player and a real man is that a player will lead a woman on with lies, a real man is going to tell the truth and lead by example and there's no gimmicks behind his action. Real men want Real women too, so if this lady or women are use to playing games it may not go past friendship
No you don't ladies. Never tell a man to call u in a timeframe. Let him show u. Who he is. How he feels. If u here, watching this. U already know your outcome.
1. Dont beg your lover nor ask them why theyre silent. - mirror his silence 🔕 until hes ready to communicate like an adult. If he doesnt take action, hes not right for you. 2. Address his behavior (not your feelings/emotions...ie 🚫"you made me feel") Discuss it from an intellectual direct point. 3. Use 'I' statements rather than 'you' statements. " I saw you did this and it made me feel this way.......I want this..." 4. "If you were me, what would you do if this happened" If the lover is not interested in resolve, hes not ready for a healthy relationship.
I noticed that you are not responding to my text ,I don't have a problem with you responding to my text , this explains should I continue calling or texting ? - I have noticed that you are pulling away ? That's fine - If you were me, what would you do if this happened? - if you were me what would you do to lie to me ?
Sadly, most females are emotional creatures. When a woman learns how to get her emotions under control and match the energy that is being given. Then, that’s when she gains power. Never chase, never ask why, but always keep your head to the sky. Don’t allow yourself to fall in a hole, because of a man. Always love yourself enough, to know when it’s time to fall back. Never allow a man to drag you through the mud, because you are just as important as he is. Don’t question anything or anyone, move on to the next.
Leave him alone for good, every time he meet or see someone new he’s interested in he will ghost you over and over again because he is confused, if it dont work out with the new person he will try to come back, every man got and is dealing with someone he didn’t meet you and was interested in you and you only
If They Don't Reciprocate Take The Break. if they show no interest just leave it be no matter how much you align with each other and you love and care for them.
Why to be behind a man is ignoring u.. When a guy is ghosting ir because obviously he is seeing someone else. When the guy do this I just delete and block him. Move on.. Life is too short to wait for a ghost when u can lose many other opportunities... Is what I do.
1-Do not beg or ask why 2-always address the behavior but never the emotions 3- Identify what u saw and how you felt about what u saw. 4- Use the: "If u were me' technique.
My husband has ghosted me and we live in the same house. Normally I would pursue him because the silence is killing me. This has been the pattern for 20 years. We usually come back together, but never really talk about what tore us apart. I can’t do that anymore. I’m not going back to the way things were. Our marriage counselor recommended we each get individual counseling. Our last counseling session we got “into it” and my husband walked out, came back 5 minutes later and said he would be willing to work it out if I get individual counseling and in a moment of self awareness he said he would seek counseling as well. I started laughing because I was sitting in a counseling session, while he was walking out throwing a fit. This really upset him. He left ,and I had to call an UBER to get home. I agree I need counseling and have since signed up and attended my first session. He has not signed up for counseling. I have to be ok with this. I’m not going back to the way things were. Only forward. This might be the end, so be it.
Y'all I did it all wrong. I chased ,I begged, crying. I did it all. I feel like a fool. This was behind my ex husband who left me with our 2 small kids. I wish I had these videos
You were not a fool.. you were just inloved and was not appreciated. You were taken for granted. At least he left. There is some that never leave and make the wife's life miserable.
You stronger now and he will reap what you sow. You sowed tears he will reap them in a few years. Don’t worry hun you did all in according to your love. Never feel bad for loving just switch who you love. Your babies need that love. He will miss your love. Mark my words. He will reap pain. Don’t worry. Thank God you are free!
My mistake was that I showed my feelings. Like begging for time. And he showed me a pattern same bs..Now I don't feel anything anymore. I guess my tears and feelings dried out. I'm ok. God got me. They're a man meant for me.less drama.
Your mistake wasn't showing your feelings, your mistake was exposing your weakness to someone with narcissistic tendencies. He knew you wanted to so much that you literally had to resort to begging him for attention and affection. He knew it hurt and kept repeating it. That's when it's emotional abuse.
The guy i was recently talking to well wasted my time on was all the wrong things for me. I wasted a year and a half of my Life on this immature guy. He recently told me let's have some space and see what happens so i said fine and i hung up and i haven't spoke to him since that day. We haven't reached out to one another and i'm okay with that. I was drained of him emotionally and mentally trying to Communicate with a guy who wasn't capable of being able to Communicate like an Adult. STAY SAFE EVERYONE. GOD BLESS US ALL 🙏🏽 🙏🏽.
Very emotional and expressive! From my experience, when your partner ignores you, it means he doesn't respect you. And if there is no respect and communication - then why continue the relationship? This is not resuscitation! It's a one-sided game. Is it interesting for confident and fulfilled women? I think, no. Therefore, we close one page of the book and move on.
Who has times to play these games? If I reach out to a man several times & he doesn't respond, f$ck him! Why would I ask him if I should keep texting/calling? He obviously doesn't care and neither should I.
OMG!!! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!! I'VE BEEN DOING EVERYTHING COMPLETELY WRONG!! DATING IS SOOO DAMN HARD NOWADAYS! IT'S ALMOST WORTH MORE JUST TO STAT SINGLE.
Even better! I just blocked, delete, and move the fk on. Treat him like he dead. Move the fk on and never look back and give any more energy and attention 💯. Peace the fk out! I'm so sick of how he has been treated me. I'm so fn done. ✌
I don't put his number in my personally phone i have another number so if he ignores me I just throws that number away imediately! If he come back one day oops that number is not exist !!! Then if he saw me at the malls or somewhere the truth is I don't know him and I will scream for Help!!!!
I've had a couple of times when we both did not communicate but we survived. We all have similar journeys but for me I'm not dwelling so much on him. I am in ministry and focusing on my relationship with God. I can't worry about what's he's doing and not doing. He is a filmmaker and busy busy. I respect hos position andhe does his best to reach out even if it's late. We are imperfect people. I decided he's worth the wait.
If you can go a day without speaking to me checking on me to see if I’m alive keep going not chasing nothing but my bread and butter ! Just dum my boyfriend keep the childish games over there I’m not a checker broad ! I’m a queen I will not tolerate that madness! 🙌🏾
@@CoachKenCanion** recap let's just say you help me pick up on stuff really quick... on to the next that was fast wasn't it? Your methods help a lot and I see things very clearly now! Those patterns I've created... Mercy... 😆
I’m confused if he got silent he need time, if he abandons you he got another women. Like which one is it? Everybody giving different advice like this is why we as people so emotional and confused we don’t know what to do
I agree what your saying. It's sad that in today's society the behavior of people is outlandish. The respect is gone. We do have a devil that does not like godly relationships so he will attack it. It's best to take advice from God who is the true source in relationships. Put it in his capable hands and not our clingy hands. God bless
DR KEN!!! I haven't heard from this dude in 3-4wks and just ignored him. I sent the exact words on this video!! IT WORKED!! HE CALLED ME and I am so not interested. I AM GOING TO WATCH EVERY VIDEO. I'm getting ke a husband next year. This year imma spend spoiling me lol. Thanks Doc!!
Yep I did that, kept txting why or lets talk about it,I finally gave up and feel so much better,2 months relationship was 2 long, Single life is Beautiful ❤
My ex ignored my text and calls for 10 days. However, he has been inconsistent throughout our relationship. I did reach out in the 10 days he only responded once via text. I did screw up and text him that ignoring me was hurtful. I did call him because I wanted answers and he blocked me.. that was a cowardly action of him.. I feel so stupid for begging him.
Sometimes , u don’t need answers. He was entertaining other folks or have his mind not there mentally. Learn to create ur own closure and never be scare to walk way.
@@mercymuli8058 that’s what I have decided as well. That is not love and it’s better to give that love to myself. I’m doing things that I enjoy doing and being kind to me💜
You did nothing wrong!! Don't listen to these people. You had a right to ask him what was going on. Nobody has time yo play games and wait for a man to contact them. This guy was an immature coward, that had no respect for you or himself.
The only thing I’ll take from this video is “if you were me” part, everything else is too much energy to give to someone move on. Life is too short to try and convince someone to stay in your life who doesn’t want to there.
I needed this video two days ago. I did the very thing you said not to do regarding emotions. I divulged too much about my feelings. I didn't ask, "If you were me" but I did say, "if the tables were turned".
I hadn’t heard from him for 7 days. I sent a very similar message addressing the behavior. He called that evening right after work. We actually had a great conversation.
This video is by far the best advice I have listened to and I have used it and tried it out 🎉as much as hard as it was to confront this way versus the old ways ..my conclusion is this one actually works and gives you strength while your dignity stays in tact moving forward❤ thank you so much
I just used this your formula and I just realized that my boyfriend has been going through a lot, and the sister died, I had no idea 🥺 Thank you so much for teaching me not to use my emotions to address the issue 🙇♀️🙏
He is your boyfriend, he should have communicated to you that his sister had died. He doesn't think to much of you not to tell you something that sentimental and you "finally found out"...hmmmm
@alexusrichardson318 that's so true. But what I've found out, some men have a hard time expressing their feelings. Not sure why this guy withheld that type information, but some men just don't know how to communicate. I think at some point when he's ready, that needs to be discussed. Because this could happen again...that's not healthy.
I definitely could've used this advice not even a month ago. I didn't grow up with any male figure around to teach me such things and at 37, I am still learning. Thank you for this advice. It's greatly appreciated. Shalom. ♥
What you do is... move on. Period. Don't give it anymore of your energy. Don't try to manipulate, play games, get some get back. I know it's easier said than done, but give it up, turn it loose. Deal with your emotions, but disengage with them.
His behavior changed because he was cheating with his ex. I stopped calling him for a week. When he called, I told him i would call him back, when he called again i told him I would call him back, then i blocked him. Good bye 👋 like you NEVA seen it before.
Hi Coach Ken, I just wanted to say I crafted a message to someone following your steps and it helped me feel more secure within myself to be able to draw the line between what I will tolerate and what I won’t, and not wait for someone to make a choice about me. Thank you thank you thank you for your amazing advice. ❤️
This doesn’t really apply to marriage only for courting situations….thank goodness I hated these kind games….for me marriage is free from these actions….just open communication and mutual respect….but those who are not there yet, I pray your journey as easy and that u find someone who is crazy about u and doesn’t avoid u.
Creating boundaries and make it become a way of life, that's the solution, it's a form of defense mechanism, don't let your guard down and just know it's god alone you can trust!!🙏
Oh I'm gonna identify the behaviour express my feelings about it and move on.. I'm not going to deny how your actions has affected me.. If you don't adjust I'm out .. Simple as that . I can show you better than I can tell you
I went no contact and when he tried to send me an email...I sent him a picture of a handsome guy I met on a dating site and said." He has a bigger boat than yours and I am going to see how it goes !!!! " Not putting up with this crap any more !!! :)
No lies detected always use logic when you are speaking to your man or men in general. when you do that they got to come correct they can't come no other way or they won't come at all but you will get your answers without having to hurt yourself through the process!!
I was always told I was a different type of woman because I would approach a man, or the man I just happen to be in a relationship with in the same exact way, you’re speaking of.
When they ghost, I respect the dead and let them rest in peace. This is not a difficult concept to grasp, but I suppose it depends on an individual’s level of self respect. And it applies to anyone and everyone, not just a romantic partner or a spouse.
First video of yours I’ve watched Coach Ken and you’ve blown me out of the water. I clearly was meant to listen to every word, now I just need to put it into action. Thank you once again.
I wished I watched this earlier hehehehe 😜 😂. Another dating coach said the same thing. Control ur impulse. Pull back. Slow down on communication and enjoy ur life
I have mirrored behaviour in the past. 😂 and the guy did a settled let me text less. So I started texting less back. 🤣 He said I’m also downplaying my emotions. I stop overly expecting and enjoy my time ❤ the moment.
MESSAGE HIM! DON'T MIRROR HIS BEHAVIOR! CAUSE THEN YOU WILL BE TRAPPED IN A CYCLE OF MIND GAMES. WHEN YOU MESSAGE HIM IT WILL HELP YOU TO DECODE IF HE IS A JERK OR A GENUINE MAN. IF HE DOESN'T RESPOND DELETE HIS MESSAGE AND CONTINUE WEIGHING YOUR OTHER OPTIONS.
I actually feel like if mirror their behaviour, you are letting them control you. He keeps quiet, you keep quiet. When hes good and ready then communicates, you also communicate back or you dont communicate. If he is dealing with someone else on the side, he actually wont care or even notice that you are palying these games
If I have to call a men out 3 times. I don’t want him. 1 time calling out is enough 😊. Then I treat him like a friend. Ain’t no man gonna dominate my feelings always with games. Now I understand why some women delete and blocked. Some women prefer to date casually instead of games. I will always be positive but next relationship or talking stage 😂 I date wisely.
I am absolutely going to use this advice. Never go to a woman to understand a man. I keep being told (by other women) that I need to share my feelings and emotions to get him to understand. Honestly, this makes more sense. Thank you.
Been healing from heartbreak thank you for opening my eyes and helping me seek better ways to find a deserving man who is prepared for me so help me God.
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Mirror their silence/ match their energy… never nag or chase a man bcs they run and take you for granted….. keep moving and if they don’t reach out to you…… he’s immature or toxic
My grandmother always told her granddaughters to never chase a man
AMEN
best African movies
No contact no level
@@ramonaherring4271 African movie is offensive I'm Puerto Rican 100%. I know for a fact I Got Roots African and Ghana in my blood so all races are the bomb
A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, period. So if he ignores me I will step back & he will lose me. I don’t play these controlling mind games. I will only be with a man who values & appreciates me because I am a good woman who knows my worth.
Not necessarily men are completely irrational when it comes to Love. They can be in Love yet withdraw due to their own insecurities. This is why we are all listening to dating coaches on TH-cam.
❤
Thank you for justifying my actions and adding to them. I'm definitely going to implement your suggestions.
I wish I was there
My Husband was coming home every night after work ,calling also during work
Dude wanted to play ghosting me,so I deleted him on fb , his contact, and never contacted him again, I'm respecting the dead,
Period 💯
This is the comment!!! 😂😂😂
This is the answer I was looking for...kept him as a friend on Facebook in hopes of him reaching out to me.
R.i.p😅😅
😂😂😂😂girl I’m on the floor right now 😂😂 I feel the same way . Blocked / deleted don’t have time either you want me or not . 💪
- A man trades his time for the things he values!
- A man doesn’t change his behavior unless something has changed in his life!
- Do Not REWARD “Bad” behavior!
Not if he's a narcissist.
@@TYP1970 preach I am married to one
🎉 FACTS!🤸🏽♀️@@TYP1970
DO NOT REWARD BAD BEHAVIOR
Never be an enabler. If he pull back or acts cold. Let him be. Focus on ur friends and make time for friends.
Never be an enabler ....this is it
Make time for urself...that is lost
This some real shit
What if you dont have friend 😢
Or family
My boyfriend ghosted me a year ago after being with him for 15 years. I did exactly that I stopped communicating and pulled my energy back. He still hasn’t reached out, but at least I still have my dignity.
15 years a boyfriend? 🤔
😂😂😂imagine 15 years as a boyfriend 😮😮😮@carlel121
@@deathislandinspector2639 yeah crazy! 🙄
Mmmh. I will never stay a girlfriend for so many years. It says alot about his plans for the relationship
@@BUHLEBUZILE exactly, 15 years without any commitment? What she waited for so long.
I remember when my ex ghosted me for no reason at all. I didn't say anything cos at that point, I had had my full of his inconsistencies and nonchalant behaviour. I deleted his contact and erased his existence from my life. About a month later, he started to call me to get closure on why I stopped talking to him. Almost 5 years later now and he still keeps calling and messaging me talking about how he misses me of which I don't even give a single fuck cos he barely even exists to me. People wanna play games with genuine people till their game backfires on them and they become the ones on their knees.
lol he wanted u to chase
I'm glad you were able to get over him and move on. His behavior was immature and insensitive.
😂 he had someone in the picture
@@feliciaallen6228 he was not ready to cut it off. Had someone in the picture and wanted to keep her around
Omggg facts the game backfires!! Boo they taught us to play the game we played them at their own game
Save yourself time and leave that player alone cause If he directly wanted you he wouldn’t place you in a predicament to lose you
Well said👌
Out of all the women he can have why you
Matching energy is the way to go. That goes for family, friendship and relationship.
Amen coz family and friends do that too all the time and we need to watch out for that.
Period 💯
💯
Facts 💯I’m leaving to apply that to everyone 💯
Hell yes! I do it all the time! Only THEN they all have a problem with that mirrored energy and want to address it! SMDH
A man did this to me, we had been texting for some weeks & he kept “trying to plan a date” but he never did.. he asked about my availability & then never answered & he randomly ghosted me for 2 weeks straight… I simply never texted, called or pleaded… I let him be. He came back after 2 weeks like
Nothing happened, asking how my day went & said “Sorry I was outta town for a bit for work”
So I simply waited 6 hours & then texted him :
“I understand you got busy with work but Its obvious you may not value my time.
While I would have liked to have been told this directly through proper communication, I still wish you the best in your future dating pursuits !”
He called me IMMEDIATELY .. apologizing & started explaining a whole story about family
Issues, mom being sick randomly & etc…
I still decided to move forward. Bc he could’ve communicated that
❤
They 😂 always call immediately when you hold them accountable for ghosting or not communicating but not letting your emotions get the best of u. U did good and I’m glad u stood on business.
That's the spirit baby girl love you big time ❤❤❤
Similar situation. You've given me inspiration to give a similar response. Very mature. Very responsible. Love it.
This is too much. When they ignore, I just cut them off completely. Silly rabbit tricks are for kids.
I agree with you... send them a goodbye message... then cut them off
Thank. Play dumb and ignore. I have try this method before
I agree.
@kimberlygordon7150 x2😂
Lmao😊 yup
Biggest takeaway - Don't reward bad behaviour!!!
I've asked, "If you were me" and he responded, "I'm not you, though ". I had to walk away. He showed no empathy or validated my concerns.
He is right though 😅
@@martapiano428 the point is empathy and he failed
He sucks. Glad you left.
But, he was right. You’re yourself. My beloved husband taught me that.
The question to ask is, " How would you feel...?"
If a man ignores me, gives silent treatments, or is just breadcrumbing i will warn him 1 time i wont tolerate that behavior and if he doesnt heed that warning i walk away i will breakup and never look back. Even if it hurts like hell. Ive learned the hard way not to tolerate this.
@@marrie_may talk through your feelinfs with good friends or a therapist, and process them. Sometimes it takes a while but that over the moon butterflies feeling that you miss is not love its infatuation and anxiety. That feeling in the extreme is a red flag that this person is not good for you longterm and that feeling is actually addictive. A real, healthy relationship that feeling is still there, there is still chemistry but not as strong as a toxic connection and you feel safe and at peace. Just keep reminding yourself of all the bad times, all the time he didnt text you back for hours or days, all the dates he canceled and how that felt, and how it felt when you needed him and he disnt show up. In a good relationship your partner will not make you feel that rollercoaster of highs and lows. But longterm you will be happier and more emotionally healthy. It helps if you can learn to spot the warning signs like inconsistency early on before you are super invested and walk away then, even if there is alot of chemistry.
@@marrie_may oh the memories and flashbacks suck, when you start reminiscing about the good times you had with them also remind yourself of the bad... The times they didnt text or call for days, the canceled dates, whatever they did to hurt you. Keep reminding yourself of that. Those behaviors are not treating you like a queen. Also build your own self esteem, thinking that youll never find someone who will treat you well comes from a sense of low self worth. You can find better. Stop chasing chemistry, super strong chemistry in the beginning is a big red flag that you are being love bombed or that there is a push pull dynamic. Both of which are toxic.
@@jessicajackson1200thank you. Makes a lot of sense to me - the love bombing at the beginning. 😮
When he ignores you, ignore him forever ladies 🙄
This!
right
You are right. I am also not into that game
True that 😅😅😅😅
Very true..😅
I experienced this recently… I dated this guy for almost a year and this past Monday I listed all the things he wasn’t doing anymore. He ignored all my messages and I have not heard from him again. We are broken up because he has a toxic way of dealing with conflict in a relationship. I deserve so much more!
I agree I am that man 😢 we need therapy
You deserve better🙏
@@ChildrenOfLightMinistriesquestion…why do you think you’re like that? Scared of accepting your flaws? Wanting to win?
@@ChildrenOfLightMinistries😮
@ChildrenOfLightMinistries Your honesty is courageous. 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 The blessing is you know and are aware of where you are. Hopefully and prayerfully, you have begun taking steps to truly heal and be set free.🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Usually when they do this they are cheating or dealing with another woman. It's pretty simple. They all suck . Just disappear like a ghost when they do this and never respond again.
U are exactly right.
Not always. Maybe for a player, but I usually ignore women I like because maybe I'm just not in a talkative move. So I would rather keep my distance plus most women chase men now.
Yep. Dealing with another woman 😂 cause don’t have enough time to entertain or manage the relationship. Few percentage of men do that
@@christianhenry4173 What are you talking about ?
@@beachlover9705 look at today's attraction methods bro. It's usually 85% of the time the woman initating phone numbers, dates, or talking to the man first. 40 years ago it was opposite the man was the one who showed interest in pursuit.
Now to clear up my opinion on why a Guys is silent, sometimes as a man it helps me eliminate foolishness. Now the difference between a player and a real man is that a player will lead a woman on with lies, a real man is going to tell the truth and lead by example and there's no gimmicks behind his action.
Real men want Real women too, so if this lady or women are use to playing games it may not go past friendship
Handle him lord because I can't, leave it all in your hands!!
I literally just told God this 😢
Yes and amen! In the meantime, the joy of the Lord is my strength so I am going to get lost in Him. If he looks for me, that is where he'll find me!
Am hurting guys I can't lose him
Haha same 😂😂😂😂😂 girl same , like god handle this man
@@Maggiesworld24 me too girl like 😢
No you don't ladies. Never tell a man to call u in a timeframe. Let him show u. Who he is. How he feels. If u here, watching this. U already know your outcome.
Yeah 😂
Fr😂
I give attention to who gives it back in tired of begging
😢
Right!
If he ignores you move on he's just not into you!!!
1. Dont beg your lover nor ask them why theyre silent. - mirror his silence 🔕 until hes ready to communicate like an adult. If he doesnt take action, hes not right for you.
2. Address his behavior (not your feelings/emotions...ie 🚫"you made me feel") Discuss it from an intellectual direct point.
3. Use 'I' statements rather than 'you' statements.
" I saw you did this and it made me feel this way.......I want this..."
4. "If you were me, what would you do if this happened"
If the lover is not interested in resolve, hes not ready for a healthy relationship.
I believe in this
Mirror till he is ready to talk
Exactly
I noticed that you are not responding to my text ,I don't have a problem with you responding to my text , this explains should I continue calling or texting ?
- I have noticed that you are pulling away ? That's fine
- If you were me, what would you do if this happened?
- if you were me what would you do to lie to me ?
I cab tell they would not answer number 4
Sadly, most females are emotional creatures. When a woman learns how to get her emotions under control and match the energy that is being given. Then, that’s when she gains power. Never chase, never ask why, but always keep your head to the sky. Don’t allow yourself to fall in a hole, because of a man. Always love yourself enough, to know when it’s time to fall back. Never allow a man to drag you through the mud, because you are just as important as he is. Don’t question anything or anyone, move on to the next.
Solid ❤
Needed this. Thank you
This is exactly what I do. ❤ Ain’t got time.
That’s right
That's definitely been my problem. Way too emotional and volatile. I'm much better now as God has taught me self control.
Thank you for this information, it hurts different when you are ignored,yet you do treat them right but you don't get the same treatment.
That one-sided love. That's what I'm dealing with right now. I'm sad and tired.
Me too, I rather stay in a relationship with myself, than one with a grown child
It doesn’t work on narcissists and manipulators, it will only work on people who has a healthy mindset and can communicate well.
Hey i said like exact same thing really, wanna be friends and chat ? U seem to get it
Leave him alone for good, every time he meet or see someone new he’s interested in he will ghost you over and over again because he is confused, if it dont work out with the new person he will try to come back, every man got and is dealing with someone he didn’t meet you and was interested in you and you only
On point
If They Don't Reciprocate Take The Break. if they show no interest just leave it be no matter how much you align with each other and you love and care for them.
Why to be behind a man is ignoring u.. When a guy is ghosting ir because obviously he is seeing someone else. When the guy do this I just delete and block him. Move on.. Life is too short to wait for a ghost when u can lose many other opportunities... Is what I do.
1-Do not beg or ask why
2-always address the behavior but never the emotions
3- Identify what u saw and how you felt about what u saw.
4- Use the: "If u were me' technique.
I JUST LEARNED SOMETHING
address the PROBLEM not my feelings/emotions 👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽
I agree with this.
You make so much sense thank you 😊
He not lying
I'm not addressing sh** I'm just leaving once he starts acting different 🎯
If someone ignores/ghosts me, I literally treat them like they're DEAD.
My husband has ghosted me and we live in the same house. Normally I would pursue him because the silence is killing me. This has been the pattern for 20 years. We usually come back together, but never really talk about what tore us apart. I can’t do that anymore. I’m not going back to the way things were. Our marriage counselor recommended we each get individual counseling. Our last counseling session we got “into it” and my husband walked out, came back 5 minutes later and said he would be willing to work it out if I get individual counseling and in a moment of self awareness he said he would seek counseling as well. I started laughing because I was sitting in a counseling session, while he was walking out throwing a fit. This really upset him. He left ,and I had to call an UBER to get home. I agree I need counseling and have since signed up and attended my first session. He has not signed up for counseling. I have to be ok with this. I’m not going back to the way things were. Only forward. This might be the end, so be it.
Wow sounds very familiar to me .
Silent treatment and leaving you stranded are abusive behaviors. I’m sorry you are going through this. Good luck
Your husband is a narcissist love
So be it honey. Focus on yourself . He is abusive. Imagine calling an Uber home. He is immature. How are you feeling now?
@@denisecatlett7203 sounds like the end unless you want more years of his inconsiderate, disrespectful treatment??!!!
I'm 60 years old I don't play mind games just delete and block
It's that Simple lol
Let the church say Amen ❤
Some do tho. They just watch you deteriorate for fun
Walk away !
Having Self respect its called.
Y'all I did it all wrong. I chased ,I begged, crying. I did it all. I feel like a fool. This was behind my ex husband who left me with our 2 small kids. I wish I had these videos
I’m sorry you went through that love💜all will be well!
You were not a fool.. you were just inloved and was not appreciated. You were taken for granted. At least he left. There is some that never leave and make the wife's life miserable.
Don’t feel bad. You’re not the only one.
Is it better than i atleast am not married and dont have kids with him , or does it make it worse 😮
You stronger now and he will reap what you sow. You sowed tears he will reap them in a few years. Don’t worry hun you did all in according to your love. Never feel bad for loving just switch who you love. Your babies need that love. He will miss your love. Mark my words. He will reap pain. Don’t worry. Thank God you are free!
My mistake was that I showed my feelings. Like begging for time. And he showed me a pattern same bs..Now I don't feel anything anymore. I guess my tears and feelings dried out. I'm ok. God got me. They're a man meant for me.less drama.
Your mistake wasn't showing your feelings, your mistake was exposing your weakness to someone with narcissistic tendencies. He knew you wanted to so much that you literally had to resort to begging him for attention and affection. He knew it hurt and kept repeating it. That's when it's emotional abuse.
The guy i was recently talking to well wasted my time on was all the wrong things for me. I wasted a year and a half of my Life on this immature guy. He recently told me let's have some space and see what happens so i said fine and i hung up and i haven't spoke to him since that day. We haven't reached out to one another and i'm okay with that. I was drained of him emotionally and mentally trying to Communicate with a guy who wasn't capable of being able to Communicate like an Adult.
STAY SAFE EVERYONE. GOD BLESS US ALL 🙏🏽 🙏🏽.
Just went thru the same thing these are man boys
True
Very emotional and expressive! From my experience, when your partner ignores you, it means he doesn't respect you. And if there is no respect and communication - then why continue the relationship? This is not resuscitation! It's a one-sided game. Is it interesting for confident and fulfilled women? I think, no. Therefore, we close one page of the book and move on.
I HATE WHEN I FOUND MYSELF WANTING MORE FROM RELATIONSHIP THAN PARTNERS.
For sure!
The best advice EVER
I don't know if addressing the behaviour is even worth it. Asking them if you should continue texting or not ... I don't know, still gives him power.
Yeah I think his advice is dumb makes us still look like groveling dogs at a man’s feet
Who has times to play these games? If I reach out to a man several times & he doesn't respond, f$ck him! Why would I ask him if I should keep texting/calling? He obviously doesn't care and neither should I.
How do you deal with this situation when it is my Husband of 50 yrs.
@@MsYingyang2Your husband of 50yrs is ignoring you, in your own home ?
@@TruePathLiving Yes, it is so unsettling.
OMG!!! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!! I'VE BEEN DOING EVERYTHING COMPLETELY WRONG!! DATING IS SOOO DAMN HARD NOWADAYS! IT'S ALMOST WORTH MORE JUST TO STAT SINGLE.
Srly wth happened to relationships
When he ignores you, walk away!
Period
If they want to play these games , its wise to let it go early before your feelings get involved.
Exactly 👍👍👍
whatever the situation is reciprocate the same energy it's not hard to do
Don’t you just LOVE when they start to notice the SAME energy you give them?🤡😂
He’s still waiting on me to call him back!! 😂😊❤🎉
This is so true; he tried to manipulate to control my emotions, even arrogantly admitted to the game.
Address the behavior not the emotions is key 🔑
Mercy, a man doesn't change his behavior unless something has changed in his life! My beloved, you spoke a word. Talk about make it plain!
Even better! I just blocked, delete, and move the fk on. Treat him like he dead. Move the fk on and never look back and give any more energy and attention 💯. Peace the fk out! I'm so sick of how he has been treated me. I'm so fn done. ✌
The tables have turned. I now ignore him. I don't have time for that!
What annoys me is when I haven't heard from him all day I just feel like turning my phone off and thinking ok we can all play that game
I don't put his number in my personally phone i have another number so if he ignores me I just throws that number away imediately! If he come back one day oops that number is not exist !!! Then if he saw me at the malls or somewhere the truth is I don't know him and I will scream for Help!!!!
He responds but he doesn’t initiate sometimes, so I stopped initiating.
Baby , block him and turn your location off... Let them know that whatever they give you will multiply😂
I do that too shutting off my phone when I’m mad
I've had a couple of times when we both did not communicate but we survived. We all have similar journeys but for me I'm not dwelling so much on him. I am in ministry and focusing on my relationship with God. I can't worry about what's he's doing and not doing. He is a filmmaker and busy busy. I respect hos position andhe does his best to reach out even if it's late. We are imperfect people. I decided he's worth the wait.
If you can go a day without speaking to me checking on me to see if I’m alive keep going not chasing nothing but my bread and butter ! Just dum my boyfriend keep the childish games over there I’m not a checker broad ! I’m a queen I will not tolerate that madness! 🙌🏾
Yes🎉
You are helping a 52 y/o learn to date again. Thank you. (I am amazed at the behavior of these folks)
Wow, thank you!
@@CoachKenCanion** recap let's just say you help me pick up on stuff really quick... on to the next that was fast wasn't it?
Your methods help a lot and I see things very clearly now! Those patterns I've created... Mercy... 😆
I’m confused if he got silent he need time, if he abandons you he got another women. Like which one is it? Everybody giving different advice like this is why we as people so emotional and confused we don’t know what to do
I agree what your saying. It's sad that in today's society the behavior of people is outlandish. The respect is gone. We do have a devil that does not like godly relationships so he will attack it. It's best to take advice from God who is the true source in relationships. Put it in his capable hands and not our clingy hands. God bless
Do not reward bad behavior! Golden nugget!
DR KEN!!! I haven't heard from this dude in 3-4wks and just ignored him. I sent the exact words on this video!! IT WORKED!! HE CALLED ME and I am so not interested. I AM GOING TO WATCH EVERY VIDEO. I'm getting ke a husband next year. This year imma spend spoiling me lol. Thanks Doc!!
"You are in a game the other party is worthy of your affection”
Best quote ever!
Yep I did that, kept txting why or lets talk about it,I finally gave up and feel so much better,2 months relationship was 2 long, Single life is Beautiful ❤
My ex ignored my text and calls for 10 days. However, he has been inconsistent throughout our relationship. I did reach out in the 10 days he only responded once via text. I did screw up and text him that ignoring me was hurtful. I did call him because I wanted answers and he blocked me.. that was a cowardly action of him.. I feel so stupid for begging him.
Sometimes , u don’t need answers. He was entertaining other folks or have his mind not there mentally. Learn to create ur own closure and never be scare to walk way.
@@eveheart2876 ❤️❤️❤️
I've decided to love myself
@@mercymuli8058 that’s what I have decided as well. That is not love and it’s better to give that love to myself. I’m doing things that I enjoy doing and being kind to me💜
You did nothing wrong!! Don't listen to these people. You had a right to ask him what was going on. Nobody has time yo play games and wait for a man to contact them. This guy was an immature coward, that had no respect for you or himself.
Absolutely right!!! Feed them
The same Energy and ghost their azz….
The only thing I’ll take from this video is “if you were me” part, everything else is too much energy to give to someone move on. Life is too short to try and convince someone to stay in your life who doesn’t want to there.
I needed this video two days ago. I did the very thing you said not to do regarding emotions. I divulged too much about my feelings. I didn't ask, "If you were me" but I did say, "if the tables were turned".
Same here.. Was in this table for a week
I hadn’t heard from him for 7 days. I sent a very similar message addressing the behavior. He called that evening right after work. We actually had a great conversation.
And then what happened?
Kudos 👏
My favorite saying Dont reward bad behavior
This video is by far the best advice I have listened to and I have used it and tried it out 🎉as much as hard as it was to confront this way versus the old ways ..my conclusion is this one actually works and gives you strength while your dignity stays in tact moving forward❤ thank you so much
I just used this your formula and I just realized that my boyfriend has been going through a lot, and the sister died, I had no idea 🥺 Thank you so much for teaching me not to use my emotions to address the issue 🙇♀️🙏
He is your boyfriend, he should have communicated to you that his sister had died.
He doesn't think to much of you not to tell you something that sentimental and you "finally found out"...hmmmm
@alexusrichardson318 that's so true. But what I've found out, some men have a hard time expressing their feelings. Not sure why this guy withheld that type information, but some men just don't know how to communicate. I think at some point when he's ready, that needs to be discussed. Because this could happen again...that's not healthy.
It’s ver odd that he wouldn’t share with his girlfriend. I would question this relationship.
Soooo true😢
I definitely could've used this advice not even a month ago. I didn't grow up with any male figure around to teach me such things and at 37, I am still learning. Thank you for this advice. It's greatly appreciated. Shalom. ♥
You're so welcome!
What you do is... move on. Period. Don't give it anymore of your energy. Don't try to manipulate, play games, get some get back. I know it's easier said than done, but give it up, turn it loose. Deal with your emotions, but disengage with them.
His behavior changed because he was cheating with his ex. I stopped calling him for a week. When he called, I told him i would call him back, when he called again i told him I would call him back, then i blocked him. Good bye 👋 like you NEVA seen it before.
Why didn't you block him the first time 😂😂
Because i wanted him to see how it felt to be ignored. He needed to have his Ego checked.. 😊 @@TheTiscali1
@@TheTiscali1at least she realized now and didn’t waste her time anymore.
@@TheTiscali1so that he’ll anticipate the call back that’ll never come.
Hi Coach Ken, I just wanted to say I crafted a message to someone following your steps and it helped me feel more secure within myself to be able to draw the line between what I will tolerate and what I won’t, and not wait for someone to make a choice about me. Thank you thank you thank you for your amazing advice. ❤️
Fantastic!🥰🥰
Whatever…invest in yourself and always ignore them.
This doesn’t really apply to marriage only for courting situations….thank goodness I hated these kind games….for me marriage is free from these actions….just open communication and mutual respect….but those who are not there yet, I pray your journey as easy and that u find someone who is crazy about u and doesn’t avoid u.
This entire message has been all facts 💯
Yes, Thanks Tierra
Thanks for your wisdom Coach Ken
Never let him know ur hurting....address the issue oh yes...im always putting my feelings in first..omg...
One thing am sure of is that this video came to me at the right moment .... thank you
❤❤
Thanks for the care
This is the time to love myself
Me too!!
I would not even ask if he still wants to communicate if I address his behavior. I’d just walk away after. ❤
YEAH IT WORKS UNTIL THEY GET BACK IN YOUR PRESCENCE. THEN THEY ACT A FOOL AGAIN.
Creating boundaries and make it become a way of life, that's the solution, it's a form of defense mechanism, don't let your guard down and just know it's god alone you can trust!!🙏
😂
Very busy indeed 😅
😂
Oh I'm gonna identify the behaviour express my feelings about it and move on.. I'm not going to deny how your actions has affected me.. If you don't adjust I'm out .. Simple as that . I can show you better than I can tell you
This video looked for me not the other way around 😅😅 exactly what I needed to hear !
Oh gosh…. I have done everything wrong! Lol I wonder why I have not learned this long ago! Thank you!
If he doesn't comunicate authentically, he ain't worth it - SUM UP 🤣😂🤣😂🤣
They do ignore and you feel so down
Wtfys
I went no contact and when he tried to send me an email...I sent him a picture of a handsome guy I met on a dating site and said." He has a bigger boat than yours and I am going to see how it goes !!!! "
Not putting up with this crap any more !!! :)
Wow what was his response...
No lies detected always use logic when you are speaking to your man or men in general. when you do that they got to come correct they can't come no other way or they won't come at all but you will get your answers without having to hurt yourself through the process!!
I was always told I was a different type of woman because I would approach a man, or the man I just happen to be in a relationship with in the same exact way, you’re speaking of.
When they ghost, I respect the dead and let them rest in peace. This is not a difficult concept to grasp, but I suppose it depends on an individual’s level of self respect. And it applies to anyone and everyone, not just a romantic partner or a spouse.
First video of yours I’ve watched Coach Ken and you’ve blown me out of the water. I clearly was meant to listen to every word, now I just need to put it into action. Thank you once again.
Wow, thank you!
Facts❤ I just just did this. And now he stalking 😂
How long before the tables turned in your favor
@@allisonpaige4786 oh they're coming lol. Trust. I'm dealing with a situation now.
I wished I watched this earlier hehehehe 😜 😂. Another dating coach said the same thing. Control ur impulse. Pull back. Slow down on communication and enjoy ur life
Yes!!
Damn so I shouldn’t slash his tires? Ok I’ll behave 😂
😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 omg I'm so dead lmao
@@kimberlyboakye342 He will always remember me 😆
😅😅😅😅No don't do anything criminal 😅😅😅
I do not care to invest into someone who does not invest in me.
I have mirrored behaviour in the past. 😂 and the guy did a settled let me text less. So I started texting less back. 🤣 He said I’m also downplaying my emotions. I stop overly expecting and enjoy my time ❤ the moment.
Thanks for sharing!!
Ladies. We need to value our time also
I don't agree I don't agree with addressing them and asking them should I continue texting you or not that sounds pathetic lol
😂yes
I agree with you…fk that.
Right like sir I’m not begging you like who are you?😂
You are truly right...silence is golden...it works everytime😮
Now my energy is back🤭😍😍
Idk how but this man is actually helping me to change my thoughts about sum big things
MESSAGE HIM! DON'T MIRROR HIS BEHAVIOR! CAUSE THEN YOU WILL BE TRAPPED IN A CYCLE OF MIND GAMES. WHEN YOU MESSAGE HIM IT WILL HELP YOU TO DECODE IF HE IS A JERK OR A GENUINE MAN. IF HE DOESN'T RESPOND DELETE HIS MESSAGE AND CONTINUE WEIGHING YOUR OTHER OPTIONS.
I actually feel like if mirror their behaviour, you are letting them control you. He keeps quiet, you keep quiet. When hes good and ready then communicates, you also communicate back or you dont communicate. If he is dealing with someone else on the side, he actually wont care or even notice that you are palying these games
I agree.
I’ve been doing this naturally with no advice for years and yet still by myself, I guess I just haven’t found someone with my same moral values 🤷♀️
@@kimberleyjones704 sometimes it takes a very long time!!
@@kimberleyjones704 sometimes it takes a very, very long time
I can't even explain how well this has worked for me.. I would say it saved and helped my relationship for the best.. thanks 🤗
Can u give me a pointer please my guy has gone quiet for 8 days
Don't chase
Match energy
Don't show emotion
If I have to call a men out 3 times. I don’t want him. 1 time calling out is enough 😊. Then I treat him like a friend. Ain’t no man gonna dominate my feelings always with games. Now I understand why some women delete and blocked. Some women prefer to date casually instead of games.
I will always be positive but next relationship or talking stage 😂 I date wisely.
*It's about understanding each other and working through challenges together. Appreciate the valuable insights!*
I am absolutely going to use this advice. Never go to a woman to understand a man. I keep being told (by other women) that I need to share my feelings and emotions to get him to understand. Honestly, this makes more sense. Thank you.
Some men don’t have emotional intelligence 😊
Been healing from heartbreak thank you for opening my eyes and helping me seek better ways to find a deserving man who is prepared for me so help me God.