Hello Thrivers!! For anyone that resonates with this... if you have found yourself watching video after video and yet still feel stuck OR if you've tried several different video courses and just can't seem to feel like you've broken through the traumatized personality that narcissistic abuse ingrains in you - then I'd like to invite you to Thrivers School of Transformation - this is a monthly membership where we meet LIVE on zoom and we do the inner work TOGETHER!!! I'll leave the link here for anyone that wants to check it out and see if it's a good fit for you: www.micheleleenieves.com/school-of-transformation
Have you ever worked with people that are recovered attics and continue to stay recovered and you understand what addiction truly is and or mental health also, I understand and hear what you were all saying this is information and a lot of symptoms obsession of the mind I have to daily recover by staying in fit spiritual condition Did he practises I would say my relationship with myself is walking on eggshells when I take someone through the 12 steps if they do exactly as I say, and exactly what this directions and instructions in the book 100% guarantee they will recover from addiction, but staying staying that way is another thing it takes daily disciplines recovered and continuing to do the work is what’s important otherwise you return back to whatever your drug choices relationships alcohol gambling sex that goes on and on if you’re an addict you transfer your addictions, codependency addiction, so my question is, can you help someone like me, is there 100% success rate if I do exactly every single thing you tell me to do like a man drowning in the ocean I have to trust you 100% if I do what you tell me
@@user-pr3us8kk7i Um, "professional licensed therapists" retraumatized me.. they were a nightmare, every one that I tried. I just found this particular video and channel for the first time but I can tell you that I've healed and learned more over the past few months from watching another channel, similar to this, than I have in the past 3 decades. Everyone is different and I can tell you that no text book learning can take the place of real-life experiences. If you haven't lived it then you wouldn't know
It was so hard to heal when everyone defended the covert narcissist, who is so nice to them - they think something is wrong with you instead of something wrong has been done to you. It took many years to be myself again. The key is to love yourself silly - the narc doesn’t love themselves, so they project that shame onto you. It’s good to be to normal. Hang in there!!!
It was always me left holding the bag while they always played the angel. Everyone believed them; of course I would never defend myself. I would just add anotherr measure of shame and guilt, then move on hoping it would somehow be different the next week. It never was.
I have seen many people deal with this by isolating themselves, from everyone. This type of abuse usually goes on for a long time, and it leaves you exhausted, confused, untrusting of others and unwilling to even try again. The silence and serenity you gain from being alone seems to fit where your head is at. It seems to be all you can handle. You are a broken person, and you know it.
This is so true, married to a covert narc for nearly 50 years. When I finally discovered what I was dealing with, it has taken me ten years to heal and break the trauma bond. Isolating myself became so easy, I just didn’t want to be around anyone. There was no joy in my life, anxiety level was always high, hence I was put on antidepressants and anti anxiety meds. I never realized my brain was in overdrive helping me to cope with this covert insidious abuse. Silence and serenity was exactly what I needed, thank you for sharing your perspective, it really does help. This video, along with many others, and books on this subject have helped me heal from this trauma. I can honestly say I’m putting back the pieces of my broken self and moving on.
Yes. I got so tired of people saying that you don’t have to do it alone. Because the only way to get through this is alone. Especially when you have a terrible therapist as I had stated above. When the whole world seems to be against you, all you want to do is die and be alone. I’m glad that I have been able to find some really helpful programs that have been able to help me with my mental health so that I no longer have to do all the work alone. Because I still have trauma trapped in my body. I didn’t get it there by myself, so I know I can’t heal it myself. But telling people that they don’t have to be alone is not helpful.
This is definitely me right now. Constantly walking on eggshells, being attuned to the narcissist's moods 24/7, feel like I'm in high alert all the time. I can't ever relax unless they are not in house. I never sleep well. And I seem to overreact to little things. Yet I feel so drained and exhausted. My entire personality right now is a trauma response. And I'm trying so hard to find the real me.
Post discard trauma for me was intense. I spent most hours of the day walking around outside, very restless, chain smoking and I don't smoke, going to the gym lifting, eating once a day and not enough, sleeping four hours a night. I was completely worthless at work and somehow I got through that and maintained my job. It took eight months before I was able to start laughing at funny stuff again. It was after that PTSD seemed to just go away. It was one hell of a journey that almost killed me. I know it was me but it wasn't the normal me.
Thank you! When I was 23 I fell in love with a borderline 10 years, then 34 a overt narcissist got me for 12 years then 46 a covert narcissist got me. I just left her 2 months ago. 25 years I've been dealing with these people. I'm free now and in a narcissist recovery program and reading everything I can about narcissism, codependency, love addiction and being a high empath. Getting better but my god childhood scares really do follow us into adult lives. My well earned advice is save yourself and leave the narcissist ASAP. They will devour you like a parasite and not think twice about it. All you may have left is your corpse...
I'm listening to the part about hypervigelance and "scanning." This is why I'm always scanning for escape routes and for things that can be used as defensive weapons...
I know this sound strange, but I know I was healing when I started to feel anger. I was the walking dead for almost all my life. anyways, thank you so much for your content! one of my fav.
Hello. I was married to a covert narcissist. I made lists to tell her positive things. Do positive things. I could not do anything right. Ever. And I am a healthcare provider with my own practice. It was my job to MAKE her happy. I was constantly ducking bullets. I felt like crap all the time. Thank you for this video.
Does narcissistic abuse change you forever? It turns you into someone who puts you into a life of servitude to an abusive bully who absolutely does not deserve it. You never deserved to be treated this way. When you heal from it you are a completely different person. You get back to who you were meant to be. A much stronger person who doesn't mind if someone gets angry at you. If something isn't perfect it's now fine if someone doesn't like you. It's now fine to be yourself. It's now fine to put yourself first. It's now fine to say NO
Agree, I used to take life not too seriously, although I've been through a lot already before the relationship. But the person definitely destroyed my inner peace, attacked and scarred my identity, and I started to absolutely despise myself, became self destructive and definitely started to take life very very seriously. I have now started to finalize the end of the 21 year relationship (I initiated separation/divorce proceedings). But, I don't think I will have that lighthearted attitude ever again. And honestly, after I have learnt how cruel people can be, I think it is prudent to take their actions, words, or subtle threats and innuendo's very seriously.
If it helps, you are not alone. I’ve only been in my relationship for 7 years but am in the same place as a broken person. I feel the same as you. I haven’t started divorce though, and don’t know how I’m going to keep going and be the happy person I once was. At least you will be away from your abuser soon if not already. Take each day at a time and you will eventually heal and be that person who you want to be again. Remember to love yourself each day, you deserve happiness and love. Also remember to be patient, kind and forgiving to yourself, you deserve all of that.
Michele, Thank You. As a victim of serious Narcissistic Abuse I identify with everything you stated in todays video. And yes it is a stuggle to relax, and unwind the reaction to the memory of abuse both recent and long ago. Fortunately I never doubted myself, I knew how much artistic talent I possessed. But if you possess tremendous artistic talent, abusers who have no talent will denigrate you mercilessly.
You are so right about that. The narcissists in my life constantly criticized my dream of being a novelist even though they've seen how creative and good I am. Never give up on something you love and are good at.
When I told my covert narcissist mother I wanted to be a writer when I was a teenager she told me I would never be anything but someone's secretary...@@kimberlychristine9284
Does narcissistic abuse change you forever? It turns you into someone who puts you into a life of servitude to an abusive bully who absolutely does not deserve it. You never deserved to be treated this way. When you heal from it you are a completely different person. You get back to who you were meant to be. A much stronger person who doesn't mind if someone gets angry at you. If something isn't perfect it's now fine if someone doesn't like you. It's now fine to be yourself. It's now fine to put yourself first. It's now fine to say NO
This is exactly what I have/am experiencing for the last 57 years! I am so exhausted! I also have a hyper-awareness to any kind of gaslighting, boundary crossing, projection, deflection, red flags now that I am extremely informed. I am/was a talented artist before severe, repeated, cycled narc abuse. I hope to get that part of me back soon!!
Does narcissistic abuse change you forever? It turns you into someone who puts you into a life of servitude to an abusive bully who absolutely does not deserve it. You never deserved to be treated this way. When you heal from it you are a completely different person. You get back to who you were meant to be. A much stronger person who doesn't mind if someone gets angry at you. If something isn't perfect it's now fine if someone doesn't like you. It's now fine to be yourself. It's now fine to put yourself first. It's now fine to say NO 46 years
They could change my behavior but then i discovered they couldn't touch my core. These creatures never change, they only get more skilled more covert with their abuse.
I really resonate with not laughing. It's been years since I've laughed. I recently went no contact with my narcissistic mother and your videos help. I am also seeing a therapist and I'm lined up for EMDR treatment, because I feel the constant fear in my body, even during my sleep. Just can't relax.
😳😳 I had to teach myself how to laugh and smile and for the longest time it felt so strange to force myself to learn these things that I normally used to be
Sounds like me, yeah. The hardest part about it is that my parents never admitted any fault at their side. In their eyes, it's as if everyone had a fate that other humans couldn't change. Meaning, they could be horrible as they could, it would not affect me. For example, if my fate was to be a successful artist, because I was always kind of gifted in that area and not much in anything else, the fact that my father told me that I'm not gifted enough to be an artist and highly encouraged his hobbies and area of work, would not affect me. I would be an artist anyway, because artists are stubborn. Well- it could be true in a way because I failed to get the degree from the college he chose for me. And I went no contact with him so I'm free to make art. But I lost three years of life on a college I hated. And I am dealing with mental health issues. SO HE DID AFFECT ME. Negatively. I could do my thing way sooner. And thrive.
My husband's mother was a narcissist who forced him to go through med school or she would cut him off financially. He did not want to be a doctor. He was miserable for the entirety of med school but he got a scholarship and studied physics without her money. He moved to another continent and basically cut her out of his life. A narc parent will never admit to any mistakes in parenting. They could literally leave you unattended and let something bad happen and find a way to blame everyone else. It's never their fault. You got free. Hooray. Go make some art. That will be the only justice you get ...the best justice is being happy despite them.
I can totally relate to what you are saying. I can’t believe how long it is taking to heal but I was in it for over 3 decades. The feeling of being afraid bothers me the most and I used to be a very confident person, so I really want that to go away.
Hi Paula. I was in for 35 years and have been on my own for almost 5. I can relate to the fear thing. Something that helped me get past a lot of the fear is looking at all the ways I was provided for in my day-to-day life. Like the times my technology would go wonky and I had to figure out how to make it work again on my own. Or the time I bought a car by myself and the salesman was so helpful and the service department was totally honest. Or the time I needed different housing and how all the pieces came together. That built my confidence gradually and also being grateful for all the small and big blessings that happen almost daily. My faith in God grew and my faith in my ability to navigate life grew. Faith grew and fear shrank. I still have times of fear when a new issue arises, but then I remind myself of past victories and move forward in the present. You have this! You survived abuse and have the rest of your life to celebrate victory over everything that would try to pull you down.
Does narcissistic abuse change you forever? It turns you into someone who puts you into a life of servitude to an abusive bully who absolutely does not deserve it. You never deserved to be treated this way. When you heal from it you are a completely different person. You get back to who you were meant to be. A much stronger person who doesn't mind if someone gets angry at you. If something isn't perfect it's now fine if someone doesn't like you. It's now fine to be yourself. It's now fine to put yourself first. It's now fine to say NO 46years
My mom is a covert narcississt and I put 500 miles between us 30 years ago but my personality is still frozen in trauma response. Instead of getting better, it's gotten worse as I've gotten older. The coping mechanisms that worked when I was younger are failing as I go through menopause and my executive function takes a nose dive with my hormones. For the first time in my life I'm having panic attacks. No coincidence that my mother's partner recently had a medical emergency and it meant I had to have a lot more communication with her on her terms recently....I went out of town last week-end without telling her, which honestly is a coping mechanism I've always had. Hide away and be secretive. I feel guilty about it usually but it's the only way I can function sometimes. I'm a freeze or fawn disaster without it...
It feels like my soul was touched by Evil the narcissistic abuse that I went through was from the true hell began when I file for divorce I know my ex is a covert narcissist I did a lot of research watch lot of videos hearts and prayers go out to the people who experience this kind of hell
This is so helpful Michele, thank you. I am experiencing exactly this at the moment. I find happy, joyful people irritating because I feel so anxious, angry, grieving, depressed, hypervigilant. I can't relate to most people currently and vice versa. I find society stressful and I'm always on high alert when I leave my house. I'm lonely but can't connect well to most humans. I've experienced a lot of scapegoating and abuse, mostly emotional. It's good to know its possible to overcome this.
Thank you for this. I already had a somewhat low view of myself and then I met the covert narcissist. The despair I’ve been through has been incredible at times.
So once we realize all this, and realize this is where we are, how do we fix it? How do we heal, and reverse all these things? I want to get me back! I'm willing to put in the work. I want my old self back, and to feel free and alive again.
This is me right now. I am not myself and act just like the broken person with PTSD you describe. I feel I can’t ever be the person i previously was and I can’t keep living like this.
My mom has disassociative identity disorder from her own severe childhood abuse. It mimics covert narcissistic symptoms and everything is about her. She is charming to everyone and presents 24/7 like a pleasantville style woman and I appear to be the oppositional person. This video is so very helpful recovering from CPTSD. Thank you!
This is 110% correct! You describe perfectly what i was thinink today so its funny that this video poped up because today i thought im still the same after all this sick shit the Narc Woman did with me that i dont need to change myself becaue im good as i am. You are very cool and im from Germany and i think we have the same kind of wounds or brain damage left from the shit we went though its awesome how you tell this things i think in a way you are thinking and thats good to hear for my soul that im not alone with those kind of thoughts so thank you for this video! You seem a very cool person and a way better therapist you got my respect!
Wow, Michele. What an incredible video. I really feel like I understand the neurology of trauma (resulting from Narcissistic abuse) for the first time. You are such a gifted content provider on TH-cam, Thank you!
This describes my MIL so accurately. Sadly, she isn’t self aware; she isn’t trying to heal (even though the person who abused her died several years ago). She has all 5 signs of CPTSD. Since she isn’t working on herself, she often drags the people closest to her into her whirlwind. It’s hard seeing my husband persuaded into her ways of “thinking”. It’s hard knowing that if I don’t vigilantly push back against the nonsense-if I give in and fawn over her like she used to fawn over her abuser and how she likes when people fawn over her-I’d end up with the same narcissistic imprint on myself. So I have to distance myself in order to keep myself alert and to try to break the cycle for my children’s sake.
Yep. This describes everything perfectly. I have been stuck in lifelong narc abuse, with no way out, so my personality will always be this way. It is hard to develop friendships with others, when you don't have a strong identity or sense of self.
Does narcissistic abuse change you forever? It turns you into someone who puts you into a life of servitude to an abusive bully who absolutely does not deserve it. You never deserved to be treated this way. When you heal from it you are a completely different person. You get back to who you were meant to be. A much stronger person who doesn't mind if someone gets angry at you. If something isn't perfect it's now fine if someone doesn't like you. It's now fine to be yourself. It's now fine to put yourself first. It's now fine to say NO
So very true. I’m 62. 44 years with this man. My personality is always different just to mold myself to keep him from complaining. I finally almost had a nervous breakdown. Now I have found my voice and I am not backing down anymore. I screamed at him saying you have traumatized me and I never want a relationship with you again. Trying to find a place to live. I’m over it! This marriage was a horror movie from the very beginning
This but a thousand times worse, because for me it's not been simply getting over a narcissistic partner, it's been losing my entire support system at the same time all while struggling with chronic health issues and thus struggling to meet the most basic needs. Being the victim of narcissistic parents is awful. I wasn't raised around my extended family and my parents have always been the ones not to build me up but to make things worse and kick me while I'm down and due to autism and other related issues it's been almost impossible to form alternate deep and meaningful connections or even trust others enough to take the chance. But since because I'm basically the only one experiencing the problems with my "parents" and they usually deny or justify the crazy shit that happened, it's awful. It's like being banished from society while being surrounded by people.
My husband is on the Autism Spectrum, too. I am praying for you to find support. He only has me, but one person does help. It is possible to heal, so I encourage you to really just love yourself back to life, you deserve it! God bless!
This is exactly what we all feel. Having narcissistic parents is the worst! I imagine having austism might make a bit worse, but you communicate pretty well for yourself. It’s a good thing that you found us. TH-cam is what started my healing journey as well. Please check out more videos on the topic. I pray that you will find freedom and healing.
7:03 ... That hit me really hard. I have all the symptoms you listed, and have felt like such a failure at every thing I do, it never occurred to me that who I truly am is OK, and still there, under all the pain.. I constantly feel pain, like my heart has been cut out of my chest and I'm spewing blood everywhere, as I go through life pretending to be fine. People ask what's wrong and I don't know, because life is good, yet I'm so sad. I realize now it's just unprocessed trauma and grief stuck in my body. I'm finally at 31 admitting how traumatized I really am. Both my parents had seriously abusive parents, and because THEY had it soooo bad, I've always felt guilty feeling that I had it pretty bad too. No one was breaking my bones, and my parents tried soo hard, and loved me sooo much, they "tried to be the best parents they could be" so they'd be livid if I told them I'm traumatized by my childhood too. My mom was very sick and became bedridden after having me, she was so sick and very bitter and angry. It was nearly impossible to feel happy at home, and many times I was made to feel guilty for not being more concerned, sad for, helping my sick mom. Anyway. I've wondered for a while if I have cptsd and if my mom had some narcissistic qualities, and this video confirms it. Thank you.
And if you were raised by an abusive narc? Where is the real you? Your whole life is one of trying to appease, trying to avoid punishment and banishment from the family. It is only recently this disorder was widely understood. Many of us went on to marry narcs who could notice 'the footprints in the sand' and know we had been abused so already 'broken in'. I've been through a narc mother and a 25 year marriage to a narc before I could break free. I left him 7 years ago and I still am hyper-alert and expecting bad things to happen (because up until now only bad things DID happen as I was oblivious to the behind-the-scenes sabotaging......) I would like to feel joy.....
More than a year ago my coach said "you say 'should' a lot. Try to notice when you are should-ing" and it has been slowly opening the door to the "I want" voice. When this voice is heard as loudly as the panic I will celebrate finding the "real me"
Yes, I think I was raised by a very controlling mother who expected me to be like her. It was so difficult to unlearn what I had been told by her. It caused so much inner conflict when I got married and had a family. I though I owed her everything. I had a nervous breakdown at 38. Lost my teaching career. Now I'm 67. Still in therapy.
I’m 35 years old and for over 25 years I had been depressed. I didn’t even know why I was depressed, it just seemed like it was part of my personality. But my psychiatrist asked me when it started and that really through me for a loop! I had to go way back into my memories and try to remember when I first felt depressed. Now I have a family of 7 people. Myself, my mom and dad, and my 4 brothers. And I distinctly remember feeling so lonely when I was about 9 nine years old. This was about the time my mother started turning on me. I think it was actually on my 9th birthday. She was terrible to me for no reason. I don’t remember the exact details, but I remember being shocked at how she treated me on my birthday. This of course led to my loneliness because after that I realized that I had no one that I could trust. The only female member of our family had decided that it was going to be a misogynistic household. To make matters worse, she never let me have friends over. Her excuse was that my room was always dirty, but so were my brothers, and they we’re allowed to have friends. She said that girls were more critical than boys. Looking back, I know it was because she was afraid that I would figure out who she was. My friends would have told me. So yes. I do believe that my mom stole 25 years old my life. Now all I can do is cut her out of my life and try to start new from here. It’s hard, but at least now I finally know what happened. I look at people from more prominent households, and with better jobs, at an earlier age, and yes I am truly upset. But at least I can see it for what it is. I can stop being as depressed as I was and realize that all of those feelings were my subconscious trying to figure out what was wrong. I can laugh and I can love. My mom has wasted even more than 25 years of her life because she doesn’t even have the capacity to love. That’s why she had to steal my love. She is alive, but inside she is dead.
@@adenaroach6265I feel like I lived this. I never did get a teaching career. I am a substitute teacher. But we seem to have very similar stories. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
@@adenaroach6265Im so sorry you’ve suffered so much. I’m the oldest daughter in a family of 8 children. My mother is 93 yrs old and I’m 74. I survived because of a loving father but I’m just beginning to find myself I see you, I hear you. You are a beautiful human being.
Thank you so much for this video Michele.I confirm all these symptoms.I' ve suffered for more than a year thinking that something was wrong with me,maybe I was having a burn out,or long covid symptoms. I was so shocked when I learned that I've been a narc abused victim,I still am shoked. Moreover that my depression all those years was a symptom and not the desease. The best gift I have ever given to myself is my subscription to your Thrivers School. I've been helped so much through my healing journey,validated and feel safe. You are such a kind hearted,gentle person. Thank you for the bottom of my ❤.🙏💫
Omg! When you explained hypervigilance that is exactly what I've been doing for the last 3 years. I'm a super social person and over the last few years I could not stop "Scanning the environment" and not being present. I have not figured out why I was doing that! Now that I've discovered the trauma from narcissistic abuse this answers that question!
Thank you for sharing your story, I find myself writing down parts of my own experience as a victim of parental narc abuse, psychologic violence and abandonment wounds from an early child's age and CPTSD as a consequence of that and then deleting the comment because I feel so vulnerable and keep second guessing my decisions. I'm happy there are people who can help me find my way and who understand how I feel. There's even scientific facts about what I've become and I feel hope. I just wish that people who had a tough life, the way I did or in any different way can someday heal and be their most loving, trusting and peaceful selves. Whoever abuses others most likely got abused in a very painful way themselves sometime before, maybe even as a little, helpless child and they never really healed. It's not an excuse, but for me it helps accepting what happened to me and being less angry about it. I've lived in this state of survival and emergency self for almost all my 33 years of life, but the moment I learned about narcissism and CPTSD a few months back I felt understood. I got hope and I've actually enjoyed a lot of little things since then like breathwork, qigong, Yoga, meditation and gaining knowledge about my mental illness. I learned that whatever people did to me and however bad I felt, my baseright for dignity and inner peace was always there for the taking. Hope it helps. ❤
15 years in an mentally abusive relationship gradually strained my creativity. Within 5 years my "fauced" had dried up. I just couldn't get any creative work done. I used to create music ever since I was 11 years old, and I used to draw. I always found time for those regardless of what was going on in my live. For 10 years there was nothing. Not until I began disregarding the abuse and do things my way did my fountain of creativity start to fill up again. Last year I took on a 100 day sketching challenge and completed that. Now 7 months after the divorce is final I've managed to start getting back into music again, and I've actually created three pieces of music earlier this year. Even though they're remixes of my older tracks from 1997 and 1998, I've began to find joy rather than frustration in music creation. I've also learned to play the piano, and I've been more or less actively practicing that for 2.5 years now. I've gotten good enough that it brings me joy. Anyhow, as you may have guessed, I am also one who says to Michele "I get you."
Omg. I have the same story. I went to get help thinking I was the problem and the therapist told me I was in a abusive relationship and it was one of the worst she’s heard of. Next meeting she told me she had to talk to another lead about me to figure out how to help me. I told my ex narc and he said I was a liar to her and I must be telling her half truths for her to say that. I didn’t go back to her. It took me 3 more years after that to leave him, which resulted in me getting a restraining order which was the catalyst of my healing journey. It took 2.5 years after that , a trauma therapist and EMDR for me to release the triggers I had around him. People use the word narcissist was too casually and it’s upsetting. If you’ve been with one , you realize later how much they turn your whole mind inside out.
I wouldn't say it is just narcissistic abuse but any form of abuse. I understand the walking on eggs shells which definitely can feel like you are on a heightened state of alert at all times. This is what spouses or partners feel of people who have drug addictions/alcohol problems/mental issues etc.
“ What do you do when you realize that, yes I now have the personality of someone who has been through narcissistic abuse.” didn’t realize that the video had ended, because she ended on a question, so I’m going to answer that question because I know exactly how it feels. I’m 35 and have been depressed ever since I was at least 9 years old from having both narcissistic parents and other narcissistic family members and just being a narcissistic magnet in general. It can be easy to regret all the time that you have lost being depressed and unhappy because you weren’t genuinely living your life, but we’re rather living in the shadow of your past. But you somehow learned to thrive and love yourself even though all of that adversity. Now you can be your authentic self. But it’s still hard not to ruminate about what could have been if your life had been yours from the very beginning. But here’s the thing, you don’t need to have regrets in this life, because, in the end, it was never about you. The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. That doesn’t mean that it’s all about God either. In the beginning, God had himself and that wasn’t enough. He wanted to be in unity and create people like me and you. It’s all about teamwork. Sports teams are good examples of this and so are marriages. That is why the Bible refers to Christ as the Bridegroom, and the church as His Bride. 🥰 The narcissist was always about self and never knew how to be on a team.
dealt with 6 therapist over a decade...they constantly put the blame on me to say I was bipolar which seems to be code for narcissist, another one said "No such thing as narcissism", 2 others created false imprisonment situations by blocking the exit. I now realize I'm constantly a target and the mental health field is loaded with therapists looking to be validated. Maybe its just the area I live in also.
I went to 3 psychologist and 7 counsellors over a 30 year span for the problem of being bashed senseless from October 1964 to August 1975. Basically they said, "there, there". I went to bed wanting to die every night the last 8 of those years and many subsequent suicidal thoughts over the past 55 years. 4 months ago I find out l had CPTSD. I've lived a stolen life. At 64 it feels like just one big 💩
@@Chapps1941 As Joyce Meyers says you may not have a good beginning but you can have a good ending. Yeah my life has been stolen too. 45 years with a narcissistic father. Little girl in me just wants her Daddy back but I've been told he will never change. So I've had to separate myself not only from him but the rest of the family. God is your help God is your source. She will help you like He's helping me.
Be careful of therapist, psychologists and psychiatrists. Some are good, some aren't. Forty years ago not much was really known about narcissism but I tried the best I could to describe what was happening at home and how it was effecting me. Of course my mother refused to talk to the doctor so it was just my very-traumatized account. In the end, I came out thinking I was the one who was ill. I remember him talking about Borderline Personality Disorder but to this day I don't know if he was referring to my mother (who he said he couldn't diagnose properly without her willing to speak to him) or whether he was referring to me ( many C-PTSD patients are erroneously diagnosed with Borderline) I ended up in a worse state than before I talked to him. Fast forward 35 years and I got the help, and diagnosis of narcissistic abuse from a women's shelter counsellor. Not all in the field should be in the field. Don't hesitate to keep on looking until you find the help you need.
Absolutely fascinating. It seems if our brains reacted in these ways to the input from the chaotic experience, we have another check mark in the normal box even if thats already been resolved. As time goes on away from our own experience, we still see examples of it daily. It also seems society is normalizing abhorrent behavior if their megaphone is loud and repetitive enough. The narc has no understanding of any other way to live.
i HAVE BEEN WONDERING why i felt so anxious all the time like im doing something wrong. I keep having flash backs of a bunch of emotional hurts and feeling like I am stuck in as loop. I cant stand it and when I brought it up to her to address how she has pushed me to the limit with-in the relationship /. I was then gaslit again for her to say ok just blamed her. I told her that how can I not blame someone who has gaslit me at everyturn and fought me on the most silliest things creating conflicts and beingso extremely selfish in the instances. She lacks basic human empathy in the situations and so the cycle repeats. when I bring something to her attention , I am attacked and then I react to her defensive nature and then the cycle repeats. I have never been so frustrated in a relationship and yes I feel liker I am walking on eggshells. its like general common sense is not there. I told her that we are just not compatible in to many departments and that we have reached an empass, befor doing this I was terrified because she used to threathen me so much in so many ways that I was terrified to even mention leaving or since she lives with me her leaving. But shes being nice again and I dont want to fall for the traps.
When both your parents are Narcissists, it does a number on you, there is constant belittling of your thoughts, shunning your individuality, the invalidation, for years was like I don't know what I want, what is wrong with me? Am I crazy? I became a Nihilist. I only wanted to be free, the one and only thing I wanted was self autonomy.
Yes, Michele, this is me. It has been so many years and my personality is stuck. I am grateful to you for helping me to identify my next step in my healing.
Thank you Michele, Thank you God for giving us these experiences so we have compassion for one another Thank you Michelle for bringing a definition to the situation. I love your video it's so funny I like the man that you got hiding behind a tree and then he sees something scary and runs away Great video! ❤😂
My mother was one of those abusers went on to meet another' abuser just like her who riducukled me for years also he turned my kids against me im so tired n shocked at the reality of what they did to me i want to unthink reality and i cant im constantly feeling hyperviligance terror no hope
I didn’t laugh for soooo long. I didn’t know someone could cry so many times a day for a year. I remember when it was reduced to just a couple of times a day. Still dealing and triggered right now do looking for some support. This video helped! Thank you.
Thank you so much for making this video, it has ticked a lot of boxes for me, l found it to be very helpful and illuminating issue's I thought I was the only one feeling like this. Once again Thank you, finding this video has been a true gift. Please keep up the good work you are doing. You are making a positive change in people's lives.
You got it , right. the living in fear is what wakes you up in some sort of fearful state, with no reason for this! in the middle of the night. sleep gets really messed. Great information. Thank you.
Oh wow! I so get you! I’m always scanning for danger, looking for exit doors and the “what ifs?,” I’m always looking at peoples motives and why they want to know my business… I have an extreme hard time opening up and sharing… when I was a kid I was funny, creative, I’ve found myself saying many times that I’ve lost myself… I thought maybe it was because I spent years raising kids, being wife, mom… thar I just lost who I am. This was very enlightening to me.
I was in a church which did not believe in psychology when younger, and they often tried to deny members access to mental healthcare. It did not help when I met the ex-narc and thankfully, I was no longer an attending member by then. The temporary stopping of prefrontal abilities during narcissistic abuse really describes the mind fog which can persist for months and even years.
Thank you for all of your videos. Now I'm out of living with a covert narcis for almost 2 months. It'd been taking nearly 13 years to find out that I haven't been the reason of the fear. I'm trying hard to make-up/repair/heal, also because of my beautiful awesome daughters..Sometimes I don't know, if I ever can smile or even laugh without an acting again. But what is the biggest problem for me? I scare my neighbours..for example I wait for or get of an elevator and when there's someone on the other side of it's door, I always scream very loudly, just because of I'm really appaled or startled by that person. I'm always appologize them, however I'm feel very bad for days.
Wow thank you Michelle, I feel seen. all of the things you said I totally relate to. And a lot of that is stuff I have never really been able to put words to. I really feel like you get it from my perspective and I feel a lot less alone.
I can relate to most of what she is saying, my ex wife is a Covert Narc.. Sadly, for men, you cant really "get away" from the hurt and hyper sensitivity because the court system are on the woman's side. At any moment i could walk to my mailbox or check my email and find some new court document filed against me over whatever the ex wife wants to do. And the courts, will help them do it. Me, I will have to be financially ruined because of it. I have paid 85k so far to defend my rights and life with my children but because she's a control freak narc, I do not have my kids turning the school years and have been forced to be a Disney Land Dad by the "family" court system.
I'm sorry about your experiencen and I know it's often true, but courts listen to pitiful connections as well, so in my case, not to women Most of all I hope the children get what they need so that it all ends for you when they're 18
tried get a civil protection order with proof she cross files heinous crimes no proof hearsay bias guess what system did pity pathological liar remove me petioner with audio video rage letters delusions and perjured only empowered her house co owned dismissed both no consequences 3 weeks out till court feedback?
Wow, it's like you're reading my life like a book. 23 years on I've been unable to change those things you listed. In many ways it's gotten worse through the years though I've never been in another abusive relationship.
Does narcissistic abuse change you forever? It turns you into someone who puts you into a life of servitude to an abusive bully who absolutely does not deserve it. You never deserved to be treated this way. When you heal from it you are a completely different person. You get back to who you were meant to be. A much stronger person who doesn't mind if someone gets angry at you. If something isn't perfect it's now fine if someone doesn't like you. It's now fine to be yourself. It's now fine to put yourself first. It's now fine to say NO
This helped me understand why my personality and mental health has declined so much since being in a long-term toxic relationship. I am not the same person I used to be, and I don't like it at all.
Getting back out there and dating after 7 years of a narc is no easy task. Its hard to just let go and trust again. Lots of apprehension but loving yourself and choosing happiness thats the key.
Thank you so much for this video. This is exactly how I feel. I too felt that I was the problem after so long of being told o was the problem. So I went to seek for help. After I began to feel better and gain some confidence then again I was being told at home I do everything wrong and how I was the problem, so I went again for a second opinion. Both therapist were able to help me navigate this and work through this. Still to this date I am told constantly I am wrong and my fault, I don’t take it personal anymore and just ignore it, I don’t engage as well so I don’t let her trigger me. I learn that those are projections of who they really are everything they say to abuse the other person verbally and emotionally.
My boss was a narcissist. Unbelievable how quickly they were able to erode my confidence in myself, and pretty much destroyed me. I’m still recovering from the horrible experience. I’m finding it extremely difficult to look for other positions as my self-worth is gone.
Very good job with this, i have helped several overcome this whole thing, and its hard for even some clinicians to grasp. What alqays blows me away about this is the level of damage on the brain.
What a nightmare today is. I live with narc brother that I bake out of. He's trying to throw me out, when I'm already planning on moving out. Today, he turned off the oven, which I just turned on to bake orders. I then turned on video for sound to prove to others. He's trying to claim my furniture too. God help me. He hid it well, and I divorced a narc 7 years ago.
Lord I pray that you will help this woman be able to move along with all of her belongings to a safe place. Do NOT tell your brother or anyone where you're going. Unless it's a trusted friend.
Interacting with narcissists DOESN'T FEEL SAFE. The state of hyper alert and constant fear is real. Thank you, Michelle, for shedding some light on the science of trauma.
Thanks for uploading Michele, just started the process of going through the break up of a hardcore Covert Narciccist and its been hard but your videos have really been helping me make sense of everything.
This vid has me ugly-crying dudeeee!! Lol... I've been trying to find a way to explain to people in my life why and how I am this way. Trying to understand myself while being made to feel like my emotions are a nuisance rather than them trying to understand me.. and me trying to "fix" it for so long, being the only one who gets told that their issues need fixing, while they all continue suppressing themselves and their trauma... But.. finally, I think I found the video to send to all the apathetic selfish jerks in my life lol... Thank you so much 💙 truly
Thank you very much. You are correct. When you feel a little normality for a day or two, you start to feel complacent and think, it's going to come again and surely does. The drama, the accusations, the blaming, the shaming, the put downs and the cycle continues. You pity them, you get resentful at their hypocrisy. Sweet in public, demon in private. It's cruelty and you always talk yourself out of leaving, for me anyway and you feel guilty for having these thoughts and start you say to yourself. It's me that's wrong or bad. Again thank you very much, an angel sent from heaven. Take care and have a beautiful life ahead.
I didn't feel safe and was walking on eggshells, which he accused me of doing to him. Creativity got me through, but I went through hell. I didn't buy his gaslighting. Hypervigilent? Yes.
Hello Thrivers!! For anyone that resonates with this... if you have found yourself watching video after video and yet still feel stuck OR if you've tried several different video courses and just can't seem to feel like you've broken through the traumatized personality that narcissistic abuse ingrains in you - then I'd like to invite you to Thrivers School of Transformation - this is a monthly membership where we meet LIVE on zoom and we do the inner work TOGETHER!!! I'll leave the link here for anyone that wants to check it out and see if it's a good fit for you: www.micheleleenieves.com/school-of-transformation
Have you ever worked with people that are recovered attics and continue to stay recovered and you understand what addiction truly is and or mental health also, I understand and hear what you were all saying this is information and a lot of symptoms obsession of the mind I have to daily recover by staying in fit spiritual condition Did he practises I would say my relationship with myself is walking on eggshells when I take someone through the 12 steps if they do exactly as I say, and exactly what this directions and instructions in the book 100% guarantee they will recover from addiction, but staying staying that way is another thing it takes daily disciplines
recovered and continuing to do the work is what’s important otherwise you return back to whatever your drug choices relationships alcohol gambling sex that goes on and on if you’re an addict you transfer your addictions, codependency addiction, so my question is, can you help someone like me, is there 100% success rate if I do exactly every single thing you tell me to do like a man drowning in the ocean I have to trust you 100% if I do what you tell me
@@user-pr3us8kk7i
Um, "professional licensed therapists" retraumatized me.. they were a nightmare, every one that I tried.
I just found this particular video and channel for the first time but I can tell you that I've healed and learned more over the past few months from watching another channel, similar to this, than I have in the past 3 decades.
Everyone is different and I can tell you that no text book learning can take the place of real-life experiences.
If you haven't lived it then you wouldn't know
Thank you
It was so hard to heal when everyone defended the covert narcissist, who is so nice to them - they think something is wrong with you instead of something wrong has been done to you. It took many years to be myself again. The key is to love yourself silly - the narc doesn’t love themselves, so they project that shame onto you. It’s good to be to normal. Hang in there!!!
I would be like, take him. No hard feeling, let him love them the way he loved you. Lol
🙋🙏
If it's member of your family, it takes longer to heal
@@fmw13 I'm going through this and am back living in the same house as them due to financial problems. How did you overcome the family one?
It was always me left holding the bag while they always played the angel. Everyone believed them; of course I would never defend myself. I would just add anotherr measure of shame and guilt, then move on hoping it would somehow be different the next week. It never was.
I have seen many people deal with this by isolating themselves, from everyone. This type of abuse usually goes on for a long time, and it leaves you exhausted, confused, untrusting of others and unwilling to even try again. The silence and serenity you gain from being alone seems to fit where your head is at. It seems to be all you can handle. You are a broken person, and you know it.
This is so true, married to a covert narc for nearly 50 years. When I finally discovered what I was dealing with, it has taken me ten years to heal and break the trauma bond. Isolating myself became so easy, I just didn’t want to be around anyone. There was no joy in my life, anxiety level was always high, hence I was put on antidepressants and anti anxiety meds. I never realized my brain was in overdrive helping me to cope with this covert insidious abuse. Silence and serenity was exactly what I needed, thank you for sharing your perspective, it really does help. This video, along with many others, and books on this subject have helped me heal from this trauma. I can honestly say I’m putting back the pieces of my broken self and moving on.
Yes. I got so tired of people saying that you don’t have to do it alone. Because the only way to get through this is alone. Especially when you have a terrible therapist as I had stated above. When the whole world seems to be against you, all you want to do is die and be alone. I’m glad that I have been able to find some really helpful programs that have been able to help me with my mental health so that I no longer have to do all the work alone. Because I still have trauma trapped in my body. I didn’t get it there by myself, so I know I can’t heal it myself. But telling people that they don’t have to be alone is not helpful.
So true ... and people say, "You gotta move on ..." Wouldn't we if we could? Definitely broken here ...
This is exactly where I'm at. I feel like I'm a shattered person
That's me too. I'm also Broken.
This is definitely me right now. Constantly walking on eggshells, being attuned to the narcissist's moods 24/7, feel like I'm in high alert all the time. I can't ever relax unless they are not in house. I never sleep well. And I seem to overreact to little things. Yet I feel so drained and exhausted. My entire personality right now is a trauma response. And I'm trying so hard to find the real me.
Me too.
Time to leave@@sohara....or make a longterm plan to leave with good supports.
It may be too late. Get out now, but you may be a shell of a person forever. Good luck.
@@ericlarousse1149 Psalms 37 : 10 11 29 offers hope
Get out then rebuild. No sense in cleaning the car while it's still parked under the pigeons roost.
Post discard trauma for me was intense. I spent most hours of the day walking around outside, very restless, chain smoking and I don't smoke, going to the gym lifting, eating once a day and not enough, sleeping four hours a night. I was completely worthless at work and somehow I got through that and maintained my job. It took eight months before I was able to start laughing at funny stuff again. It was after that PTSD seemed to just go away. It was one hell of a journey that almost killed me. I know it was me but it wasn't the normal me.
☝️☝️ I know a hacker who can hack into
your partner or anyone else's phone or device and make you see everything going on,on that device
I am right there. 6 months post discard. Its getting better but everything you described was so true. Very very difficult time.
I’ve been trying to heal for almost 20 years. Isolated and alone. Afraid to date. No friends. Walls way up
That time when a life coach knows you better than most of your family and friends combined. Damn, you've described me perfectly.
Yeah, I subscribed immediately after watching the “how nice guys attract narcissistic women” video. She’s brilliant. Described my marriage to a tee.
Thank you!
When I was 23 I fell in love with a borderline 10 years, then 34 a overt narcissist got me for 12 years then 46 a covert narcissist got me. I just left her 2 months ago. 25 years I've been dealing with these people. I'm free now and in a narcissist recovery program and reading everything I can about narcissism, codependency, love addiction and being a high empath. Getting better but my god childhood scares really do follow us into adult lives. My well earned advice is save yourself and leave the narcissist ASAP. They will devour you like a parasite and not think twice about it. All you may have left is your corpse...
☝️☝️ I know a hacker who can hack into
your partner or anyone else's phone or device and make you see everything going on,on that device
Me too I don’t know who I am
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is caused by the brain being in constant fight flight.
I'm listening to the part about hypervigelance and "scanning." This is why I'm always scanning for escape routes and for things that can be used as defensive weapons...
I know this sound strange, but I know I was healing when I started to feel anger. I was the walking dead for almost all my life. anyways, thank you so much for your content! one of my fav.
Exactly. peeling off the layers. my real personality was always in there but unavailable to me.
Hello. I was married to a covert narcissist. I made lists to tell her positive things. Do positive things. I could not do anything right. Ever. And I am a healthcare provider with my own practice. It was my job to MAKE her happy. I was constantly ducking bullets. I felt like crap all the time. Thank you for this video.
Dear Sir
Keep going, you are as important and as equal at that other person.
Look after no.1 . Good luck and take care of yourself.
Does narcissistic abuse change you forever?
It turns you into someone who puts you into a life of servitude to an abusive bully who absolutely does not deserve it.
You never deserved to be treated this way.
When you heal from it you are a completely different person.
You get back to who you were meant to be.
A much stronger person who doesn't mind if someone gets angry at you.
If something isn't perfect it's now fine if someone doesn't like you.
It's now fine to be yourself.
It's now fine to put yourself first.
It's now fine to say NO
Agree, I used to take life not too seriously, although I've been through a lot already before the relationship. But the person definitely destroyed my inner peace, attacked and scarred my identity, and I started to absolutely despise myself, became self destructive and definitely started to take life very very seriously. I have now started to finalize the end of the 21 year relationship (I initiated separation/divorce proceedings). But, I don't think I will have that lighthearted attitude ever again. And honestly, after I have learnt how cruel people can be, I think it is prudent to take their actions, words, or subtle threats and innuendo's very seriously.
If it helps, you are not alone. I’ve only been in my relationship for 7 years but am in the same place as a broken person. I feel the same as you. I haven’t started divorce though, and don’t know how I’m going to keep going and be the happy person I once was.
At least you will be away from your abuser soon if not already. Take each day at a time and you will eventually heal and be that person who you want to be again. Remember to love yourself each day, you deserve happiness and love. Also remember to be patient, kind and forgiving to yourself, you deserve all of that.
Michele, Thank You. As a victim of serious Narcissistic Abuse I identify with everything you stated in todays video. And yes it is a stuggle to relax, and unwind the reaction to the memory of abuse both recent and long ago. Fortunately I never doubted myself, I knew how much artistic talent I possessed. But if you possess tremendous artistic talent, abusers who have no talent will denigrate you mercilessly.
You are so right about that. The narcissists in my life constantly criticized my dream of being a novelist even though they've seen how creative and good I am. Never give up on something you love and are good at.
When I told my covert narcissist mother I wanted to be a writer when I was a teenager she told me I would never be anything but someone's secretary...@@kimberlychristine9284
Does narcissistic abuse change you forever?
It turns you into someone who puts you into a life of servitude to an abusive bully who absolutely does not deserve it.
You never deserved to be treated this way.
When you heal from it you are a completely different person.
You get back to who you were meant to be.
A much stronger person who doesn't mind if someone gets angry at you.
If something isn't perfect it's now fine if someone doesn't like you.
It's now fine to be yourself.
It's now fine to put yourself first.
It's now fine to say NO
It’s been two years since she ghosted me. And I think about her every second of the day. And I haven’t smiled since then
This is exactly what I have/am experiencing for the last 57 years! I am so exhausted! I also have a hyper-awareness to any kind of gaslighting, boundary crossing, projection, deflection, red flags now that I am extremely informed. I am/was a talented artist before severe, repeated, cycled narc abuse. I hope to get that part of me back soon!!
Does narcissistic abuse change you forever?
It turns you into someone who puts you into a life of servitude to an abusive bully who absolutely does not deserve it.
You never deserved to be treated this way.
When you heal from it you are a completely different person.
You get back to who you were meant to be.
A much stronger person who doesn't mind if someone gets angry at you.
If something isn't perfect it's now fine if someone doesn't like you.
It's now fine to be yourself.
It's now fine to put yourself first.
It's now fine to say NO 46 years
They could change my behavior but then i discovered they couldn't touch my core. These creatures never change, they only get more skilled more covert with their abuse.
I don't need a new me, the person I am underneath the trauma personality is FINE❣THIS TOOK AWAY SO MUCH PRESSURE❣ THANK YOU❣❣❣❣💙🦋💙
I went to a therapist thinking I had autism because after any family event, I would completely shut down for a week at least
I really resonate with not laughing. It's been years since I've laughed. I recently went no contact with my narcissistic mother and your videos help. I am also seeing a therapist and I'm lined up for EMDR treatment, because I feel the constant fear in my body, even during my sleep. Just can't relax.
☝️☝️ I know a hacker who can hack into
your partner or anyone else's phone or device and make you see everything going on,on that device
😳😳 I had to teach myself how to laugh and smile and for the longest time it felt so strange to force myself to learn these things that I normally used to be
☝️☝️ I know a hacker who can hack into
your partner or anyone else's phone or device and make you see everything going on,on that device
Sounds like me, yeah. The hardest part about it is that my parents never admitted any fault at their side. In their eyes, it's as if everyone had a fate that other humans couldn't change. Meaning, they could be horrible as they could, it would not affect me. For example, if my fate was to be a successful artist, because I was always kind of gifted in that area and not much in anything else, the fact that my father told me that I'm not gifted enough to be an artist and highly encouraged his hobbies and area of work, would not affect me. I would be an artist anyway, because artists are stubborn. Well- it could be true in a way because I failed to get the degree from the college he chose for me. And I went no contact with him so I'm free to make art. But I lost three years of life on a college I hated. And I am dealing with mental health issues. SO HE DID AFFECT ME. Negatively. I could do my thing way sooner. And thrive.
☝️☝️ I know a hacker who can hack into
your partner or anyone else's phone or device and make you see everything going on,on that device
My husband's mother was a narcissist who forced him to go through med school or she would cut him off financially. He did not want to be a doctor. He was miserable for the entirety of med school but he got a scholarship and studied physics without her money. He moved to another continent and basically cut her out of his life. A narc parent will never admit to any mistakes in parenting. They could literally leave you unattended and let something bad happen and find a way to blame everyone else. It's never their fault. You got free. Hooray. Go make some art. That will be the only justice you get ...the best justice is being happy despite them.
I've been out of the relationship for years and I still have this trauma.
I can totally relate to what you are saying. I can’t believe how long it is taking to heal but I was in it for over 3 decades. The feeling of being afraid bothers me the most and I used to be a very confident person, so I really want that to go away.
Hi Paula. I was in for 35 years and have been on my own for almost 5. I can relate to the fear thing. Something that helped me get past a lot of the fear is looking at all the ways I was provided for in my day-to-day life. Like the times my technology would go wonky and I had to figure out how to make it work again on my own. Or the time I bought a car by myself and the salesman was so helpful and the service department was totally honest. Or the time I needed different housing and how all the pieces came together. That built my confidence gradually and also being grateful for all the small and big blessings that happen almost daily. My faith in God grew and my faith in my ability to navigate life grew. Faith grew and fear shrank. I still have times of fear when a new issue arises, but then I remind myself of past victories and move forward in the present. You have this! You survived abuse and have the rest of your life to celebrate victory over everything that would try to pull you down.
Does narcissistic abuse change you forever?
It turns you into someone who puts you into a life of servitude to an abusive bully who absolutely does not deserve it.
You never deserved to be treated this way.
When you heal from it you are a completely different person.
You get back to who you were meant to be.
A much stronger person who doesn't mind if someone gets angry at you.
If something isn't perfect it's now fine if someone doesn't like you.
It's now fine to be yourself.
It's now fine to put yourself first.
It's now fine to say NO 46years
My mom is a covert narcississt and I put 500 miles between us 30 years ago but my personality is still frozen in trauma response. Instead of getting better, it's gotten worse as I've gotten older. The coping mechanisms that worked when I was younger are failing as I go through menopause and my executive function takes a nose dive with my hormones. For the first time in my life I'm having panic attacks. No coincidence that my mother's partner recently had a medical emergency and it meant I had to have a lot more communication with her on her terms recently....I went out of town last week-end without telling her, which honestly is a coping mechanism I've always had. Hide away and be secretive. I feel guilty about it usually but it's the only way I can function sometimes. I'm a freeze or fawn disaster without it...
It feels like my soul was touched by Evil the narcissistic abuse that I went through was from the true hell began when I file for divorce I know my ex is a covert narcissist I did a lot of research watch lot of videos hearts and prayers go out to the people who experience this kind of hell
I have been like that for half a century, and I tried to heal my traumas many many times,,,,,
This is so helpful Michele, thank you. I am experiencing exactly this at the moment. I find happy, joyful people irritating because I feel so anxious, angry, grieving, depressed, hypervigilant. I can't relate to most people currently and vice versa. I find society stressful and I'm always on high alert when I leave my house. I'm lonely but can't connect well to most humans. I've experienced a lot of scapegoating and abuse, mostly emotional. It's good to know its possible to overcome this.
☝️☝️ I know a hacker who can hack into
your partner or anyone else's phone or device and make you see everything going on,on that device
Thank you for this. I already had a somewhat low view of myself and then I met the covert narcissist. The despair I’ve been through has been incredible at times.
I can so relate!!!!
So once we realize all this, and realize this is where we are, how do we fix it? How do we heal, and reverse all these things? I want to get me back! I'm willing to put in the work. I want my old self back, and to feel free and alive again.
This is me right now. I am not myself and act just like the broken person with PTSD you describe. I feel I can’t ever be the person i previously was and I can’t keep living like this.
My mom has disassociative identity disorder from her own severe childhood abuse. It mimics covert narcissistic symptoms and everything is about her. She is charming to everyone and presents 24/7 like a pleasantville style woman and I appear to be the oppositional person. This video is so very helpful recovering from CPTSD. Thank you!
This is 110% correct! You describe perfectly what i was thinink today so its funny that this video poped up because today i thought im still the same after all this sick shit the Narc Woman did with me that i dont need to change myself becaue im good as i am. You are very cool and im from Germany and i think we have the same kind of wounds or brain damage left from the shit we went though its awesome how you tell this things i think in a way you are thinking and thats good to hear for my soul that im not alone with those kind of thoughts so thank you for this video! You seem a very cool person and a way better therapist you got my respect!
She is absolutely correct and truly accurate - An Active, Engaged and Contributing Narcissist. Stay Safe!!! & Prayers
☝️☝️ I know a hacker who can hack into
your partner or anyone else's phone or device and make you see everything going on,on that device
Yes! I get it! I lost smiling and laughing. But enjoying them now.
I had to learn to laugh again too. Today, I was triggered. I'm still processing it. But, I will be okay. Thank you for this video. I will be okay.
Wow, Michele. What an incredible video. I really feel like I understand the neurology of trauma (resulting from Narcissistic abuse) for the first time. You are such a gifted content provider on TH-cam, Thank you!
This describes my MIL so accurately. Sadly, she isn’t self aware; she isn’t trying to heal (even though the person who abused her died several years ago).
She has all 5 signs of CPTSD. Since she isn’t working on herself, she often drags the people closest to her into her whirlwind.
It’s hard seeing my husband persuaded into her ways of “thinking”. It’s hard knowing that if I don’t vigilantly push back against the nonsense-if I give in and fawn over her like she used to fawn over her abuser and how she likes when people fawn over her-I’d end up with the same narcissistic imprint on myself.
So I have to distance myself in order to keep myself alert and to try to break the cycle for my children’s sake.
Yep. This describes everything perfectly. I have been stuck in lifelong narc abuse, with no way out, so my personality will always be this way. It is hard to develop friendships with others, when you don't have a strong identity or sense of self.
Does narcissistic abuse change you forever?
It turns you into someone who puts you into a life of servitude to an abusive bully who absolutely does not deserve it.
You never deserved to be treated this way.
When you heal from it you are a completely different person.
You get back to who you were meant to be.
A much stronger person who doesn't mind if someone gets angry at you.
If something isn't perfect it's now fine if someone doesn't like you.
It's now fine to be yourself.
It's now fine to put yourself first.
It's now fine to say NO
So very true. I’m 62. 44 years with this man. My personality is always different just to mold myself to keep him from complaining. I finally almost had a nervous breakdown. Now I have found my voice and I am not backing down anymore. I screamed at him saying you have traumatized me and I never want a relationship with you again. Trying to find a place to live. I’m over it! This marriage was a horror movie from the very beginning
It is nuts to go thru what we go thru then get blamed for it all. Never allowed to be a victim.
This but a thousand times worse, because for me it's not been simply getting over a narcissistic partner, it's been losing my entire support system at the same time all while struggling with chronic health issues and thus struggling to meet the most basic needs. Being the victim of narcissistic parents is awful. I wasn't raised around my extended family and my parents have always been the ones not to build me up but to make things worse and kick me while I'm down and due to autism and other related issues it's been almost impossible to form alternate deep and meaningful connections or even trust others enough to take the chance. But since because I'm basically the only one experiencing the problems with my "parents" and they usually deny or justify the crazy shit that happened, it's awful. It's like being banished from society while being surrounded by people.
My husband is on the Autism Spectrum, too. I am praying for you to find support. He only has me, but one person does help. It is possible to heal, so I encourage you to really just love yourself back to life, you deserve it! God bless!
This is exactly what we all feel. Having narcissistic parents is the worst! I imagine having austism might make a bit worse, but you communicate pretty well for yourself. It’s a good thing that you found us. TH-cam is what started my healing journey as well. Please check out more videos on the topic. I pray that you will find freedom and healing.
I want to give you the biggest hug.
Makes complete sense. Your sharing is a real gift and a sign you are comfortable being yourself at last. Me too. Thankyou.😊
You are beautiful inside and out. I’m glad you are aware and healed from the abuse. Keep sharing truth!❤️
Thank you for lending hopeful insight to this most devastating life experience.
7:03 ... That hit me really hard. I have all the symptoms you listed, and have felt like such a failure at every thing I do, it never occurred to me that who I truly am is OK, and still there, under all the pain.. I constantly feel pain, like my heart has been cut out of my chest and I'm spewing blood everywhere, as I go through life pretending to be fine. People ask what's wrong and I don't know, because life is good, yet I'm so sad. I realize now it's just unprocessed trauma and grief stuck in my body. I'm finally at 31 admitting how traumatized I really am. Both my parents had seriously abusive parents, and because THEY had it soooo bad, I've always felt guilty feeling that I had it pretty bad too. No one was breaking my bones, and my parents tried soo hard, and loved me sooo much, they "tried to be the best parents they could be" so they'd be livid if I told them I'm traumatized by my childhood too. My mom was very sick and became bedridden after having me, she was so sick and very bitter and angry. It was nearly impossible to feel happy at home, and many times I was made to feel guilty for not being more concerned, sad for, helping my sick mom. Anyway. I've wondered for a while if I have cptsd and if my mom had some narcissistic qualities, and this video confirms it. Thank you.
And if you were raised by an abusive narc? Where is the real you? Your whole life is one of trying to appease, trying to avoid punishment and banishment from the family. It is only recently this disorder was widely understood. Many of us went on to marry narcs who could notice 'the footprints in the sand' and know we had been abused so already 'broken in'. I've been through a narc mother and a 25 year marriage to a narc before I could break free. I left him 7 years ago and I still am hyper-alert and expecting bad things to happen (because up until now only bad things DID happen as I was oblivious to the behind-the-scenes sabotaging......) I would like to feel joy.....
More than a year ago my coach said "you say 'should' a lot. Try to notice when you are should-ing" and it has been slowly opening the door to the "I want" voice. When this voice is heard as loudly as the panic I will celebrate finding the "real me"
Yes, I think I was raised by a very controlling mother who expected me to be like her.
It was so difficult to unlearn what I had been told by her.
It caused so much inner conflict
when I got married and had a family. I though I owed her everything. I had a nervous breakdown at 38. Lost my teaching career. Now I'm 67. Still in therapy.
I’m 35 years old and for over 25 years I had been depressed. I didn’t even know why I was depressed, it just seemed like it was part of my personality. But my psychiatrist asked me when it started and that really through me for a loop! I had to go way back into my memories and try to remember when I first felt depressed. Now I have a family of 7 people. Myself, my mom and dad, and my 4 brothers. And I distinctly remember feeling so lonely when I was about 9 nine years old. This was about the time my mother started turning on me. I think it was actually on my 9th birthday. She was terrible to me for no reason. I don’t remember the exact details, but I remember being shocked at how she treated me on my birthday. This of course led to my loneliness because after that I realized that I had no one that I could trust. The only female member of our family had decided that it was going to be a misogynistic household. To make matters worse, she never let me have friends over. Her excuse was that my room was always dirty, but so were my brothers, and they we’re allowed to have friends. She said that girls were more critical than boys. Looking back, I know it was because she was afraid that I would figure out who she was. My friends would have told me. So yes. I do believe that my mom stole 25 years old my life. Now all I can do is cut her out of my life and try to start new from here. It’s hard, but at least now I finally know what happened. I look at people from more prominent households, and with better jobs, at an earlier age, and yes I am truly upset. But at least I can see it for what it is. I can stop being as depressed as I was and realize that all of those feelings were my subconscious trying to figure out what was wrong. I can laugh and I can love. My mom has wasted even more than 25 years of her life because she doesn’t even have the capacity to love. That’s why she had to steal my love. She is alive, but inside she is dead.
@@adenaroach6265I feel like I lived this. I never did get a teaching career. I am a substitute teacher. But we seem to have very similar stories. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
@@adenaroach6265Im so sorry you’ve suffered so much. I’m the oldest daughter in a family of 8 children. My mother is 93 yrs old and I’m 74. I survived because of a loving father but I’m just beginning to find myself I see you, I hear you. You are a beautiful human being.
Thank you so much for this video Michele.I confirm all these symptoms.I' ve suffered for more than a year thinking that something was wrong with me,maybe I was having a burn out,or long covid symptoms. I was so shocked when I learned that I've been a narc abused victim,I still am shoked. Moreover that my depression all those years was a symptom and not the desease.
The best gift I have ever given to myself is my subscription to your Thrivers School. I've been helped so much through my healing journey,validated and feel safe. You are such a kind hearted,gentle person. Thank you for the bottom of my ❤.🙏💫
Omg! When you explained hypervigilance that is exactly what I've been doing for the last 3 years. I'm a super social person and over the last few years I could not stop "Scanning the environment" and not being present. I have not figured out why I was doing that! Now that I've discovered the trauma from narcissistic abuse this answers that question!
Michele, Thank you for loving humanity. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story, I find myself writing down parts of my own experience as a victim of parental narc abuse, psychologic violence and abandonment wounds from an early child's age and CPTSD as a consequence of that and then deleting the comment because I feel so vulnerable and keep second guessing my decisions. I'm happy there are people who can help me find my way and who understand how I feel. There's even scientific facts about what I've become and I feel hope. I just wish that people who had a tough life, the way I did or in any different way can someday heal and be their most loving, trusting and peaceful selves. Whoever abuses others most likely got abused in a very painful way themselves sometime before, maybe even as a little, helpless child and they never really healed. It's not an excuse, but for me it helps accepting what happened to me and being less angry about it. I've lived in this state of survival and emergency self for almost all my 33 years of life, but the moment I learned about narcissism and CPTSD a few months back I felt understood. I got hope and I've actually enjoyed a lot of little things since then like breathwork, qigong, Yoga, meditation and gaining knowledge about my mental illness. I learned that whatever people did to me and however bad I felt, my baseright for dignity and inner peace was always there for the taking. Hope it helps. ❤
I get you and I hear you, thank you for your help.
15 years in an mentally abusive relationship gradually strained my creativity. Within 5 years my "fauced" had dried up. I just couldn't get any creative work done. I used to create music ever since I was 11 years old, and I used to draw. I always found time for those regardless of what was going on in my live. For 10 years there was nothing. Not until I began disregarding the abuse and do things my way did my fountain of creativity start to fill up again.
Last year I took on a 100 day sketching challenge and completed that. Now 7 months after the divorce is final I've managed to start getting back into music again, and I've actually created three pieces of music earlier this year. Even though they're remixes of my older tracks from 1997 and 1998, I've began to find joy rather than frustration in music creation. I've also learned to play the piano, and I've been more or less actively practicing that for 2.5 years now. I've gotten good enough that it brings me joy.
Anyhow, as you may have guessed, I am also one who says to Michele "I get you."
Omg. I have the same story. I went to get help thinking I was the problem and the therapist told me I was in a abusive relationship and it was one of the worst she’s heard of. Next meeting she told me she had to talk to another lead about me to figure out how to help me. I told my ex narc and he said I was a liar to her and I must be telling her half truths for her to say that. I didn’t go back to her. It took me 3 more years after that to leave him, which resulted in me getting a restraining order which was the catalyst of my healing journey. It took 2.5 years after that , a trauma therapist and EMDR for me to release the triggers I had around him. People use the word narcissist was too casually and it’s upsetting. If you’ve been with one , you realize later how much they turn your whole mind inside out.
Omg
This is so clear to me
Thank you for this clarity ❤
I wouldn't say it is just narcissistic abuse but any form of abuse. I understand the walking on eggs shells which definitely can feel like you are on a heightened state of alert at all times. This is what spouses or partners feel of people who have drug addictions/alcohol problems/mental issues etc.
“ What do you do when you realize that, yes I now have the personality of someone who has been through narcissistic abuse.” didn’t realize that the video had ended, because she ended on a question, so I’m going to answer that question because I know exactly how it feels. I’m 35 and have been depressed ever since I was at least 9 years old from having both narcissistic parents and other narcissistic family members and just being a narcissistic magnet in general. It can be easy to regret all the time that you have lost being depressed and unhappy because you weren’t genuinely living your life, but we’re rather living in the shadow of your past. But you somehow learned to thrive and love yourself even though all of that adversity. Now you can be your authentic self. But it’s still hard not to ruminate about what could have been if your life had been yours from the very beginning. But here’s the thing, you don’t need to have regrets in this life, because, in the end, it was never about you. The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. That doesn’t mean that it’s all about God either. In the beginning, God had himself and that wasn’t enough. He wanted to be in unity and create people like me and you. It’s all about teamwork. Sports teams are good examples of this and so are marriages. That is why the Bible refers to Christ as the Bridegroom, and the church as His Bride. 🥰
The narcissist was always about self and never knew how to be on a team.
dealt with 6 therapist over a decade...they constantly put the blame on me to say I was bipolar which seems to be code for narcissist, another one said "No such thing as narcissism", 2 others created false imprisonment situations by blocking the exit. I now realize I'm constantly a target and the mental health field is loaded with therapists looking to be validated. Maybe its just the area I live in also.
I went to 3 psychologist and 7 counsellors over a 30 year span for the problem of being bashed senseless from October 1964 to August 1975. Basically they said, "there, there".
I went to bed wanting to die every night the last 8 of those years and many subsequent suicidal thoughts over the past 55 years.
4 months ago I find out l had CPTSD.
I've lived a stolen life. At 64 it feels like just one big 💩
@@Chapps1941 It pisses you off doesn't it. I'm hella pissed about how these retards get away with it.
@@Chapps1941 As Joyce Meyers says you may not have a good beginning but you can have a good ending. Yeah my life has been stolen too. 45 years with a narcissistic father. Little girl in me just wants her Daddy back but I've been told he will never change. So I've had to separate myself not only from him but the rest of the family. God is your help God is your source. She will help you like He's helping me.
Be careful of therapist, psychologists and psychiatrists. Some are good, some aren't. Forty years ago not much was really known about narcissism but I tried the best I could to describe what was happening at home and how it was effecting me. Of course my mother refused to talk to the doctor so it was just my very-traumatized account. In the end, I came out thinking I was the one who was ill. I remember him talking about Borderline Personality Disorder but to this day I don't know if he was referring to my mother (who he said he couldn't diagnose properly without her willing to speak to him) or whether he was referring to me ( many C-PTSD patients are erroneously diagnosed with Borderline) I ended up in a worse state than before I talked to him. Fast forward 35 years and I got the help, and diagnosis of narcissistic abuse from a women's shelter counsellor. Not all in the field should be in the field. Don't hesitate to keep on looking until you find the help you need.
@@l.5832 I'm now going to a German-trained Psychologist who is helping with the issues. Plus this channel, Patrick, Anna and Les Videos
Absolutely fascinating. It seems if our brains reacted in these ways to the input from the chaotic experience, we have another check mark in the normal box even if thats already been resolved. As time goes on away from our own experience, we still see examples of it daily. It also seems society is normalizing abhorrent behavior if their megaphone is loud and repetitive enough. The narc has no understanding of any other way to live.
i HAVE BEEN WONDERING why i felt so anxious all the time like im doing something wrong. I keep having flash backs of a bunch of emotional hurts and feeling like I am stuck in as loop. I cant stand it and when I brought it up to her to address how she has pushed me to the limit with-in the relationship /. I was then gaslit again for her to say ok just blamed her. I told her that how can I not blame someone who has gaslit me at everyturn and fought me on the most silliest things creating conflicts and beingso extremely selfish in the instances. She lacks basic human empathy in the situations and so the cycle repeats. when I bring something to her attention , I am attacked and then I react to her defensive nature and then the cycle repeats. I have never been so frustrated in a relationship and yes I feel liker I am walking on eggshells. its like general common sense is not there. I told her that we are just not compatible in to many departments and that we have reached an empass, befor doing this I was terrified because she used to threathen me so much in so many ways that I was terrified to even mention leaving or since she lives with me her leaving. But shes being nice again and I dont want to fall for the traps.
When both your parents are Narcissists, it does a number on you, there is constant belittling of your thoughts, shunning your individuality, the invalidation, for years was like I don't know what I want, what is wrong with me? Am I crazy? I became a Nihilist. I only wanted to be free, the one and only thing I wanted was self autonomy.
This was 100% spot on and very helpful. Thank you 🩷
Yes, Michele, this is me. It has been so many years and my personality is stuck. I am grateful to you for helping me to identify my next step in my healing.
I understand, I totally relate. Thank you so much for explaining this about C-PTSD.
Thank you Michele, Thank you God for giving us these experiences so we have compassion for one another Thank you Michelle for bringing a definition to the situation. I love your video it's so funny I like the man that you got hiding behind a tree and then he sees something scary and runs away Great video! ❤😂
My mother was one of those abusers went on to meet another' abuser just like her who riducukled me for years also he turned my kids against me im so tired n shocked at the reality of what they did to me i want to unthink reality and i cant im constantly feeling hyperviligance terror no hope
I didn’t laugh for soooo long. I didn’t know someone could cry so many times a day for a year. I remember when it was reduced to just a couple of times a day. Still dealing and triggered right now do looking for some support. This video helped! Thank you.
Thank you so much for making this video, it has ticked a lot of boxes for me, l found it to be very helpful and illuminating issue's I thought I was the only one feeling like this. Once again Thank you, finding this video has been a true gift. Please keep up the good work you are doing. You are making a positive change in people's lives.
You got it , right. the living in fear is what wakes you up in some sort of fearful state, with no reason for this! in the middle of the night. sleep gets really messed. Great information. Thank you.
I am so glad I’ve been away from those toxic people.. 1.5 years and counting ! I feel like I am free and becoming myself again
I get you. Married to a narc 25 yes, divorced now 16, still have bad dreams about the SOB but did finally get ME back.
Thank you so much beautiful soul. My mother is a narcissist and my sister and I married a narcissist. I have been away from him for 5 years
Love your eyebrows!🖤
Oh wow! I so get you! I’m always scanning for danger, looking for exit doors and the “what ifs?,” I’m always looking at peoples motives and why they want to know my business… I have an extreme hard time opening up and sharing… when I was a kid I was funny, creative, I’ve found myself saying many times that I’ve lost myself… I thought maybe it was because I spent years raising kids, being wife, mom… thar I just lost who I am. This was very enlightening to me.
It is so hard. It is the most difficult. Although i feel a bit better i juy cant seem to shake off thi cloud over me. 😢
I was in a church which did not believe in psychology when younger, and they often tried to deny members access to mental healthcare. It did not help when I met the ex-narc and thankfully, I was no longer an attending member by then. The temporary stopping of prefrontal abilities during narcissistic abuse really describes the mind fog which can persist for months and even years.
Its incredibly intense what ones experiences in these situations
Thank you for all of your videos. Now I'm out of living with a covert narcis for almost 2 months. It'd been taking nearly 13 years to find out that I haven't been the reason of the fear. I'm trying hard to make-up/repair/heal, also because of my beautiful awesome daughters..Sometimes I don't know, if I ever can smile or even laugh without an acting again.
But what is the biggest problem for me? I scare my neighbours..for example I wait for or get of an elevator and when there's someone on the other side of it's door, I always scream very loudly, just because of I'm really appaled or startled by that person. I'm always appologize them, however I'm feel very bad for days.
Wow thank you Michelle, I feel seen. all of the things you said I totally relate to. And a lot of that is stuff I have never really been able to put words to. I really feel like you get it from my perspective and I feel a lot less alone.
I can relate to most of what she is saying, my ex wife is a Covert Narc.. Sadly, for men, you cant really "get away" from the hurt and hyper sensitivity because the court system are on the woman's side. At any moment i could walk to my mailbox or check my email and find some new court document filed against me over whatever the ex wife wants to do. And the courts, will help them do it. Me, I will have to be financially ruined because of it. I have paid 85k so far to defend my rights and life with my children but because she's a control freak narc, I do not have my kids turning the school years and have been forced to be a Disney Land Dad by the "family" court system.
☝️☝️ I know a hacker who can hack into
your partner or anyone else's phone or device and make you see everything going on,on that device
I’m so sorry for your suffering.
I'm sorry about your experiencen and I know it's often true, but courts listen to pitiful connections as well, so in my case, not to women
Most of all I hope the children get what they need so that it all ends for you when they're 18
tried get a civil protection order with proof she cross files heinous crimes no proof hearsay bias guess what system did pity pathological liar remove me petioner with audio video rage letters delusions and perjured only empowered her house co owned dismissed both no consequences 3 weeks out till court feedback?
Wow, it's like you're reading my life like a book. 23 years on I've been unable to change those things you listed. In many ways it's gotten worse through the years though I've never been in another abusive relationship.
Does narcissistic abuse change you forever?
It turns you into someone who puts you into a life of servitude to an abusive bully who absolutely does not deserve it.
You never deserved to be treated this way.
When you heal from it you are a completely different person.
You get back to who you were meant to be.
A much stronger person who doesn't mind if someone gets angry at you.
If something isn't perfect it's now fine if someone doesn't like you.
It's now fine to be yourself.
It's now fine to put yourself first.
It's now fine to say NO
This helped me understand why my personality and mental health has declined so much since being in a long-term toxic relationship. I am not the same person I used to be, and I don't like it at all.
Getting back out there and dating after 7 years of a narc is no easy task. Its hard to just let go and trust again. Lots of apprehension but loving yourself and choosing happiness thats the key.
Thank you so much for this video. This is exactly how I feel. I too felt that I was the problem after so long of being told o was the problem. So I went to seek for help. After I began to feel better and gain some confidence then again I was being told at home I do everything wrong and how I was the problem, so I went again for a second opinion. Both therapist were able to help me navigate this and work through this. Still to this date I am told constantly I am wrong and my fault, I don’t take it personal anymore and just ignore it, I don’t engage as well so I don’t let her trigger me. I learn that those are projections of who they really are everything they say to abuse the other person verbally and emotionally.
My boss was a narcissist. Unbelievable how quickly they were able to erode my confidence in myself, and pretty much destroyed me. I’m still recovering from the horrible experience. I’m finding it extremely difficult to look for other positions as my self-worth is gone.
I just wanted to thank you for your videos they have been very helpful great knowledge.
This hit the nail on the head for me! Makes so much sense! Thank you for the video! 🥰
☝️☝️ I know a hacker who can hack into
your partner or anyone else's phone or device and make you see everything going on,on that device
Very good job with this, i have helped several overcome this whole thing, and its hard for even some clinicians to grasp. What alqays blows me away about this is the level of damage on the brain.
OMG you’re right. I didn’t laugh for years. My ex didn’t like laughter. He always felt he was being made fun of. Even though it was nothing about him.
What a nightmare today is. I live with narc brother that I bake out of. He's trying to throw me out, when I'm already planning on moving out. Today, he turned off the oven, which I just turned on to bake orders. I then turned on video for sound to prove to others. He's trying to claim my furniture too. God help me. He hid it well, and I divorced a narc 7 years ago.
Lord I pray that you will help this woman be able to move along with all of her belongings to a safe place. Do NOT tell your brother or anyone where you're going. Unless it's a trusted friend.
Covert narcissist slowly kills.
I've been stuck in these survival modes and been in a lot of dark places. I've learned a lot in a short amount of time. I thank you for this video🙏
Interacting with narcissists DOESN'T FEEL SAFE. The state of hyper alert and constant fear is real. Thank you, Michelle, for shedding some light on the science of trauma.
Because narcissists always know your vulnerability and just how to attack you. It's horrible.
Thanks for uploading Michele, just started the process of going through the break up of a hardcore Covert Narciccist and its been hard but your videos have really been helping me make sense of everything.
This vid has me ugly-crying dudeeee!! Lol... I've been trying to find a way to explain to people in my life why and how I am this way. Trying to understand myself while being made to feel like my emotions are a nuisance rather than them trying to understand me.. and me trying to "fix" it for so long, being the only one who gets told that their issues need fixing, while they all continue suppressing themselves and their trauma...
But.. finally, I think I found the video to send to all the apathetic selfish jerks in my life lol... Thank you so much 💙 truly
Thank you very much. You are correct. When you feel a little normality for a day or two, you start to feel complacent and think, it's going to come again and surely does. The drama, the accusations, the blaming, the shaming, the put downs and the cycle continues.
You pity them, you get resentful at their hypocrisy.
Sweet in public, demon in private. It's cruelty and you always talk yourself out of leaving, for me anyway and you feel guilty for having these thoughts and start you say to yourself. It's me that's wrong or bad.
Again thank you very much, an angel sent from heaven. Take care and have a beautiful life ahead.
Absolutely spot on Michelle God Bless You! A mention aboit the depression that can result, when things seem hopeless, might also help. 🙏
following you for four years. thx for giving me the info to save myself. so Grateful
I didn't feel safe and was walking on eggshells, which he accused me of doing to him. Creativity got me through, but I went through hell. I didn't buy his gaslighting. Hypervigilent? Yes.