As someone who has chronic pelvic pain as well as mental health diagnoses, I appreciate your openness on this video. It is really hard to deal with pain and disfunction when it is in your reproductive system... For me, I know I deal with a lot of shame, because I feel like I shouldn't have problems in that area. I feel like it should just work properly! But that is not my reality, and it is really hard to accept that even after more than a decade of issues. It definitely took a toll on my mental health, and it can be hard to give myself compassion and understanding when I get really low and am trapped in a pain cycle. Please know that you are not alone, and that talking about this subject helps the rest of us who are suffering feel less alone too. None of us are perfect, pain and mental health is a difficult and messy journey. You can make it to more better days than bad days, but don't forget to let yourself heal with grace.
as someone who's struggled with chronic depression and female reproductive issues for over a decade i really resonated with you telling your story and struggles. it's such a scary thing to do especially when our jobs are centred around creating a safe happy space for others online. Just wanted to say that you're a badass and such a strong person for not only going through this with your head held high but for also sharing this with everyone. everything will be okay, just keep reminding yourself of that fact. i can tell you from experience that there is no feeling better than when you get to the other side of that tunnel. stay strong Amanda, always here if you need a chat 💕
8:56 omg! in the end of 2019, because my iron was so low, i had to get 5 weeks of iron injections. like 1 per week. i’ve never heard of anyone getting this before. thanks so much for talking about it..🥺 *edit* 14:47 amanda. this video was definitely meant for me.. i’ve been back and forth with the hospital trying to get an ultrasound for my ridiculously heavy periods. i thought i was the only one on the earth who bl*eds an insane amount. i actually have to wear adult diapers and i get my periods every 2 and a half to 3 weeks. i could go on and on about the weird symptoms that i get such as shortness of breath and like chest pains but i’ll spare you. *amanda* you have no idea how much this video means to me. i’m gonna show part of this to my mom because she’s been trying to figure what’s wrong with me too and doing whatever she can to take care of me.. thanks soooo much… i wish i could come to canada just to hug you.😢😢 -jamie
Sharing is caring. Seriously, Amanda, it is brave of you to share. It may also help you overcome the depression. It is an illness just like the flu, or high blood pressure, or the diseases that are too terrible to name. I am honored to have watched your brave discussion about your health issues. I am also here to say that my own depression got really bad in 2016 and I started seeing a psychiatrist because I was having some pretty dark and frightening thoughts. Together we worked through the causes of my situation and I was given a medication that allowed me to feel “normal” again. There is hope for those with depression. Reaching out is the hardest part. Your sharing this message may also help save others from suffering in silence. I’m very proud of you. ❤
one of the most validating things i’ve been told is that ur mental illness does not define you - u are still the same person with all the many unique gifts, talents, skills & characteristics that make u who u are ! u just happen to be facing this new obstacle that will require a lot of time & energy to work through & hopefully overcome. but don’t let that false perception of being a burden to others stop u from reaching out, talking abt it, & getting the help u deserve. u are surrounded by people who love n care abt u, and there is always a way. find the light at the end of the tunnel & follow it. trust that things will always get better ♥️ u r stronger than u think ! sending u love
Amanda, it hurt my heart so much seeing this. I'm SO proud of you for talking about it--all of it. I know it's hard but the good you're doing for others by sharing it really does reduce the barrier for other folks trying to open up about their own experiences. I was diagnosed with GAD and general depression in 2019 and, like you mentioned in your video, thought I would always feel that way. I didn't even realize how bad it had gotten. How I'd accepted for myself a quality of life I would never let any of my loved ones accept. And it still is so hard--meds nor therapy nor lifestyle changes will rewire my brain. BUT reaching out for help improved my life immensely and I truly have a much richer & more beautiful life now because I was brave enough to ask for help & to allow people to help me: I hope you are *so* proud of yourself for taking that step. It will get easier. Nearly 5 years later I can really see how truly bad things got. What a compassionate thing for your doctor to tell you "you never have to feel like this again". I remember the relief and tears I cried hearing that for the first time. Thank you thank you thank you for sharing this with us. Hoping things get easier for you--step by step and brick by brick you'll be able to step into a life you've built intentionally with self-love. Extending the same care and kindness to yourself as you do to others is hard, but you've done hard things before and you are capable. & we'll be rooting for you all the way.
First topic…I have always had horrible periods. When I was 15 my mom took me to the family doctor. HE just laughed, quite literally, when I told him how much pain I would be in. I hated him after that. Three times in my 20s I was taken to the ER because I either fainted, lost feeling in parts of my body, or was just doubled over from pain that I couldn’t walk home from school. It was never figured out the cause, even with all the tests you mentioned and more. Second topic….as a person with depression, I know how lonely you can feel. But I want you to truly know that you are not alone. It can feel paralyzing to think about talking to someone about your true inner thoughts. It took me years to get the courage. And still to this day I take medication for it, and I think the hardest thing I ever do is talk to anyone, including my husband, about my deep inner feelings. I wish you the very best with your physical and mental health. Thanks for opening up. ❤❤❤❤❤
there is so much to takeaway from this video, so don’t say there’s nothing! i love happy endings as much as you do, but the truth is life is always in progress and continuing every moment we’re alive, so as many tough things there are i truly believe just as many good things are waiting, little or big. (even if that’s really cheesy and idealistic!) thank you for sharing your experience amanda!!! i think it’s really important to process struggles as heavy as this by sharing, and for us as watchers it’s just as important because we feel less alone. i wish you the very very best in every step you take forward. ❤❤
I went through exactly that with my periods. Polips are the story of my life. I have undergone surgery to remove them twice, you HAVE to check yourself at least once a year, sooner if you present symptoms, because they can make a comeback. My doctor told me they’re a mistery, they can come and go, reappear or never come back… and it’s rare to have cancerous ones. My doctor advised me to cut dairy and chicken from my diet, eat them like once a month if I crave them too much and try to have organic ones. So far that has worked for me, I still have kind of abundant periods so I take leafy greens every day because iron supplements kinda ruined my stomach. It’s an ordeal but I’ve learned to accept and adapt, I also share my story with most young women who struggle with their periods, it’s paramount to check yourself constantly, we’re together in this!
I'm so proud of you for taking care of your physical and mental health. I've gone through a diabetes and high blood pressure diagnosis over the last year and I totally get being exhausted by doctors appointments. It's draining, and to deal with poor mental health on top of that is so tough. Love you Amanda, hope the steps you have taken lead to happier days ahead. Blue skies are coming ❤
i am so proud of you for speaking up about this, i feel like it is so taboo that people, especially people who have periods. Heavy periods are so over normalized it's hard to get the proper help for them. I am getting a bunch of screenings this month because of mine and I recently got a bunch of iron infusions as well. I feel like so seen right now I have felt like no one understands how physically draining these health problems are and its so often glanced over... i am so happy youre feeling better thank you so much and I am sending you so much love
Thank you for sharing your journey here. The period issues are something I have struggled with for years, and last year I also ended up in the ER after a ridiculously heavy period, with very low hemoglobin, resulting in a blood transfusion, and iron injections. I had an ablation that failed completely, and in December ended up having a hysterectomy. ( I am older and my children are grown up now, so childbearing was not an issue for me anymore.) Glad you found a doctor who is listening to you and helping you move forward. That makes all the difference. Take care of you!
I’ve been a subscriber for ages and never commented. Thank you so much for sharing, I’m sure you’ll have helped so many people feel less lonely. Your videos have always helped me feel calm and relaxed. Sending lots of love 💕
Thank you for sharing, Amanda. People need to talk about period problems and mental health as there is such stigma around them. Someone out there is watching you and realising they are not alone in what they are experiencing ❤ i wish you all the best, and hope you take care and take it easy
Love your channel Rach. I think it is a good thing you shared openly and honestly about your health issues because I don’t think there is as much honestly out there as there needs to be. Depression and anxiety are scary when going through a bad time with them, and honesty is key. Keep sharing as your heart feels ready, and know your viewers support you. ❤
I'm so glad you were able to go to your doctor and talk about what you're going through. That's one of the hardest and most important steps to long term healing, and you already accomplished it!! That's awesome! I kinda went through something similar right at the start of this year (mental breakdown, health ruined, had to quit my job because I couldn't leave the house without being sick to my stomach with anxiety) and I made the decision to get medication that I probably should have made years ago. It already feels like I have more of my life back than I ever thought I could. Please just be patient with yourself, and know that we're rooting for you. What your doctor said is absolutely true. Now that you've opened up this conversation, things can and will improve. You got this. :)
i don't comment much on your videos despite loving them, but as someone who has struggled with the mental health portion of your discussion, i just wanted to remind you that it does get better and your brain eventually will stop lying to you! and i'm sure you already know all of this, but we are so proud of you for what you have managed to do for yourself, and what you'll continue to do for yourself moving forward. all the best, amanda! sending all my love
A huge fuzzy bear hug to you. I am grateful that you talked about such sensitive things. Amanda, you are so brave and strong to go through all of this and be able to talk about it! I also have some issues and don't know if I am strong enough to talk about them to anyone yet, but your video helped. love you. and thank you so much.
i’m sending you so much love, amanda 💗 i’ve also dealt with some scary and confusing health issues over the last few years that took a toll on my mental health, and even though things have been better recently, i’m still figuring out where i stand mentally. i hope you start feeling better soon, both physically and mentally 💗💗
I was anxious to watch this video because of the title and the warnings, but i'm glad I did end up watching the whole thing. thank you, amanda, for sharing and opening up albeit the difficulty of everything. i'm glad this channel is still your safe place, and i pray that nothing and no one will take that away from you (and us lil doodles). i wish i can give you a hug :(( i've been a fan for a few years and knowing that you've been struggling for awhile breaks my heart. though it's good to know that you're moving forward and i'm proud of your progress ! please always prioritize yourself because we also want what's best for you. there's so much more i can comment but basically we still love you! what you're feeling is valid !
I have fibroids and I understand your pain. May God helps you to recover completely and heal from that depression. People cannot really understand your mental issues. I lost my job because of my fibroids. Now I am better thanks to God. He is my Strength everyday
Thank you for sharing this, I cope so similarly. This video just motivated me to reach out for help, thank you. Wishing only the best for you and hope things get better.
Hey Amanda, I want to let you know that I am so proud of you that you opened up about your mental and physical health. It is such a brave thing to do because it can be a scary thing to talk about, especially in public. Thanks to you more people will start too make health problems, especially the mental health ones, more talked about and less taboo. I wish you a good recovery, and you can do it! You are a good person and a fighter. It takes time but there will be light again. It will be a process, but do not be angry or dissapointed at yourself when you are not feeling well after good days. You will become a happier and mentally more healthy eventually. Just take good care of yourself next to being extra kind. You deserve good things and the world has a lot to offer you, and you should be alive to see it all.
You'll get a happy ending! Keep your treatment, your medication, and have faith in a better future! We'll always be here to support you and remind you how great you are! Take your your time and don't pressure yourself, because depression is very hard and at the time you're diagnosed with it is very life changing, so it really is a rolller coaster! And thank you very much for sharing your problem with periods. As someone who grew up having all kinds of periods, this is really helpful for us, our friends and family. Hope you'll get better soon! ❤
This reminds me of Megan Bowen (now Moon) who had a similar story of really intense bleeding, and lost the ability to conceive. She has the two cutest twins now through egg donation. There is always hope. Thanks for sharing your experience, it is so brave. As someone who has recently been diagnosed of PCOS, I totally can relate about being on the fence about kids, and then now not having that choice/option is truly so sad. Keep your head up! 💖
Amanda, I have loved your channel and getting to know you over the years and I just wanted to say you are so brave. Thank you for sharing with us. I am praying for you, stay strong. ❤
Thank you so much for sharing, I've watched you for so many years and you've brought so much joy with your videos! It's so brave of you to share something so personal and we all appreciate it so much! You've created this amazing community and we are all here for you!❤❤
Thank you for sharing this Amanda. Went through all of this in the same order. Somehow hearing your story makes me feel less alone and seen. Also it is so comforting to see how strong you are and proving me that I can help myself. What you do is so important in so many ways. Thank you for being here for us. But remember you are first always. Love you.
Hey, I hope you have the help and support you need! That said, if you think you might have ADHD, please still go through the process of getting a diagnoses or knowing you don't have it. Depression and anxiety is often a result of undiagnosed ADHD. I myself have been home from work due to burnout, depression and anxiety mainly caused by undiagnosed ADHD (have been diagnosed a few months ago). And about the polips, my doctor told me they come back sometimes, so if you have similar symptoms during your life, please get checked out again! Take care and don't forget to take time for yourself, allow yourself to do fun things (without guilt). And really focus on relaxing and having a good time. (I have to actually plan doing fun things because I wont allow myself otherwise).
I just want to say that I see myself in what you said. I have been throught the same depression thing the past few months and it's feels good to see people who I never thought going on thing like this. I find you so brave to share about this! Thank you from France (sorry for my mistakes aha) ❤🩹
Sending you love! I had to leave my job this year because of depression and anxiety. I thought I had ADHD, too. Make sure that you are taking care of yourself.
We love you so much. I'm glad you are getting the help you need and you are on the path to better health. Sending you lots of love and support! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I also had endometrial polyps and had them taken out. They came back a year later and I had them taken out again. Doctors told me that using an IUD would help prevent them from growing potentially but it’s really just a theory since polyps are so understudied. DM if you wanna chat more about it. I rarely meet someone with the same issue as me so happy to chat and share info. ❤
Hello❤️you’re so brave, you’re gonna get through this because you are STRONG.Never forget it.Maybe sometimes it’s gonna be difficult but you’ll make it.Physical and mental health issues can be so hard to handle, realising what’s happening is a huge part of the process and being able to talk about it is impressive.You are impressive Amanda,and little doodles will always be here for you❤️💛💜
I can relate to so much of what you said, particularly about your mental health struggles. I too have had those "fleeting thoughts". I remember feeling so confronted by those questionnaires too. Therapy and meds are helping me so much right now, but definitely lots of time is needed to relearn who I am and how to move forward in a healthy way. A close friend of mine recently went through a VERY similar experience to your physical health story! There was just so much I related too here. Thank you for sharing, Amanda. Love, hugs, and positive vibes your way! It's so difficult to share this stuff, but it can be very healing too. ♥️
I love the video, Is ok speak about mental health, you are brave, strong and amazing... believe me as a person that had depression a few years ago, you can handle this and at the end of the journey you will be proud of yourself
I am sad to learn of your health issue but want to acknowledge your bravery and generosity in sharing. Please know you are not alone, sometimes knowing this can still feel lonely as your situation is still unique to you even though there are other’s experiencing something similar. Finding the right people to talk to and taking action for your own well-being, I feel, is showing yourself self-love & kindness, which you really do deserve. - or so I keep trying to tell myself. - I am overdue 3 years waiting on my endometriosis surgery - sometimes the waiting is the hardest part. You have got this, on the hard days do something tiny to make you smile and count it as a win - even if that win is taking a sofaday with yourself or eating a banana 😉 wishing you kindness and strength, Varsha
You're very strong to be able to say all of this. We'll always support you no matter what. And please don't ever feel hesitant or obligated when you're posting something. More power to you Amanda!
I’m in the same boat as you. I’ve had nonstop periods since 2014. I’ve done an ultra sound and they didn’t find anything. In the US, it’s expensive for me to try to figure out what’s wrong with me which kind of stinks. I feel fatigued and tired all of the time but I try to push through it because that’s all I can do… thanks for sharing your story. I know it’s hard because it’s such a hard topic. I also have those thoughts that if I died, I’d be okay. Or I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up. I also have a lot of fears of whether or not I can have kids. I feel like it’s a hormonal imbalance that causes me to feel this sad but again thanks for sharing..
Amanda, I wish I could give you a hug. Thank you so much for sharing, this must be so hard for you. You are not alone, all of us Lil Doodles supporting you❤
❤❤❤ I hope you can start feeling better soon both mentally and physically. I’m sure this was a very hard video to make. I feel you are very brave and strong. I try to tell myself that all things are temporary- they come and go. So by sharing your struggles, I hope it helps life the burden off you and makes this hard time in your life pass by more quickly.
I think you are such an amazing person and I really appreciate your transparency.. I'm excited for your next steps and journey thru all of these things. Keep going!...😊
I hope this message reaches you, but I have almost the exact story you told us. I’m 40 now, but dealt with polyps, severe anemia, and crazy painful periods (as well as weight gain and hair loss) when I was in my late 20s/early 30sAnd like you, during this time I felt down and thought it was just the health issues. But after I had my polyps removed I was still very down. So like you, a few months later, I was also diagnosed with depression. It’s hard. I’m Latina and also of a generation that isn’t very open about mental health, so I was in denial of the diagnosis for some time until I started seeing a new doctor and she asked me those same questions. At this time, I was 34 and had a 1yr old (yes, I was still able to have a child after all the period problems so hold onto that hope) and I remember thinking death would be easier, but I could never leave my child. The thought had never crossed my mind in that way, so concise a manner, like what I was saying was so normal, and I started balling in front of this doctor. While my period problems were a thing of the past, I still felt unmotivated. I would get a day with a burst of energy and then do nothing but survive (the bare minimum for me, my husband, and child) for like 4 months. (Didn’t realize that was just mania.) But finally being diagnosed was such a big step. Going through different medications to find what would work for me, while also trying to find a therapist that I could vibe well with was such a big hurdle to climb as well. There’s no quick fix in this journey, but once you find something that works, YOU WILL BE OK! I can say now, at age 40, now that I’m properly medicated and have a great therapist, I’m a person that has been suffering with depression, anxiety, and a multitude of other mental health issues since I was a teenager and things only got worse because they went unchecked. But now, I’m on the other side of things. I’m able to function so much better and enjoy life in a way I didn’t think was possible. I’m always going to be someone suffering with depression, but I’m not letting the depression control my life the way it once did. You will get on the other side of this also. You’re a beautiful soul and you’ll be okay once it all gets sorted. Your openness and transparency is so welcomed, because so many people suffer in silence. This may encourage them to also seek help. But please don’t blame yourself for this and please don’t feel like you owe anyone any kinds of explanations. We are all here to support you in any ways we can. ❤
Ofta, I 've had a few of those periods where you pass out in my life. But I've never had that for more than 2 days. Having that for as long as you did seams so miserable!
I've been a physician for 16 years now and I can tell you what you went through is so hard but know that you are on the road to better health and it will get better over time and talking about it with a professional who can monitor you and make sure you are eating right and taking good care of yourself is really important .. Pro tip If you are having a big emotion like you feel like you're going to cry call someone it will really help just talking to someone in that moment to validate those feelings and perhaps to take a very tense situation and make it better. I am always around if you ever need someone to ramble to I too have been on TH-cam for almost 18 years now and I've seen it all ... the best advice I can tell you is go into TH-cam creator studio and go to settings then community scroll down and write in the blocked words list all the naughty things you dont want people to say in your comments and then when people type them only the person who said them will see them :) take that haters .. and remember when you're having a really bad day that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to lift your middle finger and tell people to bite me 😆 I hope you feel better soon and dont be afraid to ask for help when you need it . Life is hard they never said it would be easy they just said it would be worth it
amanda I don't know if you'll see this...but just know that we love u and we'll always be there for u.....hang in there....everything will get better and we will be a big happy family again.❤
Admitting that you are struggling with depression does not, in any way, make your channel any less the positive place that it’s always been, Amanda!!!!!! As someone with a platform, it’s so helpful for you to talk about your experience because it reminds your viewers that they are not alone in their struggles either. Hang in there, we love you and we want you to be happy, healthy, and safe!
"Admitting that you are struggling with depression does not, in any way, make your channel any less the positive place that it’s always been" absolutely, facing a reality, thats a massive positive.
That's so true. Talking about it hopefully makes you free and eventually get you to a place where you are healed. Rooting for you and others suffering from depression
I’ve been a silent supporter/viewer for yearsssss now but I wanted to comment today to let you know you are so loved and so supported. It takes a lot of bravery to be open and vulnerable like this and although it is hard, I appreciate you so much for being honest about things like this. I think it can be so easy for people to get caught up in comparisons or even just the illusion of picture perfect lives on social media, from influencers and non influencers alike. So thank you for normalizing this topic and bringing awareness to it and letting your viewers know NO ONE has a “picture perfect” life. I am wishing you nothing but the best during this time. Be gracious with yourself, show yourself love and patience. We are ALL rooting for you. Sending you so much love
this is the best comment ever, i wish i were so eloquent. my thoughts and feelings are the same for Amanda so glad you chose to speak up this time Emily.
Oh, Amanda 😔 I’m so sorry you’ve been facing these health issues, both physical and mental, for so long. I’m so glad you’re finally in a place of treatment and have hope on the horizon that things will get better. Depression is so hard to live with and seeing all you continue to accomplish despite your brain working against you is something to be so so proud of ❤ please be kind to yourself, because you really do deserve that self compassion. I’m always a text message away if you want to talk through some of that messy hard sad stuff. Sending you the biggest hug 🫂
Depression creeps up on people. It’s silent but deadly. Never ignore the signs and don’t be afraid to ask help. You’re not alone. And you got this, Amanda! 💪🏽
Very true I feel honoured to be one of her little doodles and someone she trusts not to bottle up her emotions but share and lift off a weight. That takes courage
i had my period for 6 months in 2020, went to the hospital twice and had 2 surgeries for the same reason!! i also had a way thicker lining than normal in addition to the polyps. i dealt with this for a year before it was resolved fully. if these things grow outside of your uterus it is considered cancerous and they will have to remove ur uterus completely, so if you experience any symptoms that amanda mentioned PLS get checked out asap!!
Thank you for sharing! I have some family, since young adults and even a young adult since young, that experience similar extreme menstruation. And it often pained me, because since they're not married, there's always this either taboo or unnecessary justifications for not going to a gynae and especially not any sort of internal exam. Women's reproductive health is truly something I'm sure all over the world we need to be more open about speaking about. Like an aunt was going through a medical difficulty and didn't want anyone to know. But her daughter started feeling desperate because of the circumstances, and guess what, just sharing it in a safe space, appropriate advice from someone who had the exact issues ended up helping her immensely.
As a Doctor working in OBGYN, I commend you on how maturely and concisely you spoke about such a difficult period for you. You definitely will bring greater awareness to this, just by sharing your experience and hopefully enlighten healthcare professionals who fail to advocate for both Women’s health and Mental health, especially amongst the youth. Thank you for this, and always remember to listen to your body - you have been with it longer than any healthcare professional has.
Amanda, you don't know how much this video speaks so much to me. I've also experienced the same thing last year with all the heavy bleeding, being low in iron, feeling so down and all that. I was really scared with the results as well and what will happen with the future. Thankfully, my doctor said it was nothing serious. But still, I know how hard it is to go through all of these things happening in our physical and mental health. I hope you know that you are not alone and that just by existing in this platform, you're already helping a lot of us out here to keep pushing and fighting. You are amazing and you are needed in this world. Sending you lots of love from Japan! ❤
Hemoglobin is the molecule inside the red blood cells that carries oxygen to the cells of your body, a vital step for most metabolism pathways. It's a very important little buddy! I'm so sorry you had to go through all that experience, Amanda. I can't imagine how hard it must have been. You've got our support and love
It's amazing to see the majority of the comments being positive as I scroll down, this feels so nice knowing that this community definitely gives space to nurture
So many women's issues are overlooked. Lots of women have fx endometriosis but doctors never check them out properly and just accept the pain / problems. I hope you find the cause and preventive solutions like maybe microbiom or other. God bless ❤️
th-cam.com/video/coxBNJxBUeo/w-d-xo.html 😂 Sorry to meddle! Here is a video about the microbiom being connected to polyps / pcos / hormonal imbalance and the microbiom is definitely connected to our mood. So I was wondering what changed when your periods first became so extreme. Did you have to take lots of antibiotics fx...
It takes a lot from someone to be so vulnerable on camera. I just hope you’re feeling better and continue to do so. We’re rooting for you as Lil Doodles.
Hi Amanda. FWIW from my fifty-year-old perspective and as a fan, I think you are handling all of this with grace and strength. And generosity because so many of us can relate to what you're talking about and hearing someone with your platform share your own experiences helps us all to feel less alone. So thank you and bless you! You got this!
I can relate so much to your situation. I had 3-5yrs where I felt like "my uterus was attacking me". Women's health issues really are not talked about enough. How our hormones maintain the delicate balance in our bodies, how that is tied to our mental health, these things should not be mysterious to us. Please take the time to focus on getting better, lean on your family, therapist. Take every day as it comes. Be gentle with yourself. All us Lil Doodles are happy you exist and support you continuing to do that ❤❤❤ Thanks for sharing. You are not alone.
The ability for you to come out and speak about this - all of this - can, and most likely will save and help other people. It’s refreshing to know that we are all human, and we all have issues, as different and diverse as they are. I mean, I’m 40 years old, watching you do journaling. I am married, I have a daughter and 3 dogs. BUT…YOU helped me get back into my artistic talent, YOU are a breath of fresh air in my life of chaos. I know that many of us will support you, pray for you, and be patient with you on this journey. Thank you for this video, and I do hope this relieves your fears as much as our concerns. And Thank You for everything you do!!!! (oh, and you need a puppy!)
As someone also struggling with this, I can tell you this. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! It’s one thing to admit it, and it’s another to fight it and see where it take you; and that’s one of the bravest things to do, ever!! We have all got your back no matter what. Sending you the biggest hug my darling, you’ve got this
i've also mostly been a silent supporter but the last half of this video really resonated with me. i've been seeing a therapist for anxiety and have only recently discovered i may have major depressive disorder. the scariest thing was the day i went to bed and thought hey, if i didn't wake up that might not be the worst thing. it's an absolutely terrifying mindset to be stuck in and i'm so glad you've found a supportive doctor to help you through this. sending you so much love.
Depression is so hard. When you start to come out of it, you begin to realise how you weren’t by yourself at all, it was just the illness putting a veil over your eyes. We all love you here no matter what! You are my personal OG bullet journal TH-camr, and the reason I got started in the first place, and I couldn’t imagine that journey without you and your positive vibes helping me along the way. Please don’t go anywhere, because we certainly won’t ✨
I get the fleeting thoughts of death. I don’t want to die and I don’t want to harm myself but it’s exactly what you said - “it would be easier if I was dead.” There’s moments of highs and lows. Be gentle with yourself. Take care and lean on those you can count on. You’re so loved.
Depression does sneak in. I got help & now I’m fine & back to myself. I also have uterus issues. Glad you finally found a doctor who took it seriously and was able to help you.
I’ve never commented on one of your videos before (even though I’ve been following for years). You are so brave to share your story and it will help so many others. I am a teacher and one thing my students tell me is that when influencers share their stories, it has a gigantic impact on the lives of others. You telling your own story, with all of the details, validates others too. You got this!
Talking about period/menstruation normalizes it, and empowers women to advocate for themselves rather than being embarrassed or thinking "I'm weird." Thank you for sharing, I understand it CANNOT be easy.
I had the opposite issue - after high school, mine just stopped. No real answer was ever found, I was on birth control for decades to regulate it. Now, at 47 - it's randomly come back and is fairly regular. No woman is exactly the same, if something seems off, please go get it checked out ❤
Hi amanda💓💓 im Francisca from chile, and i ‘ve been watching your videos since 2017 when i was 17 years, now im 23 and im so happy than you could finally talk about your feelings and just all the things that has been going on in your life💓 Now im graduating from psycology and i really know it takes so much brave to talk about your really deep feelings and througs. I just want to say thank you for your bravery and for staying here. Its okey to not be ok, and its ok to tell the people you are not ok when you need it. Thank you so much for all these years🥺💓 and i really want to you to be healthy and happy, so take all the time you need and just talk about whatever you want and need.
Illness trauma is real, there is a lot of things to face and process. The “death would be easier” thought moment, been there because of illness and it is scary. Being honest with yourself and others is important and therapy has helped me immensely through my own struggles. All the best and all the luck!
last September I also underwent surgery almost similar as yours (myomectomy surgery, English is not my first language so it's my assumption that it's similar). Doctor found 8 centimeters myoma in my uterus. (Myoma = fibroids, non-cancerous tumors). The fact that the size is 8 centimeters make it has to be taken out. Women have so many silent killers so I think it is good that you share your story and raise awareness about this. I'm wishing you full recovery at your own pace. Recovering from surgery is a long journey, but you are definitely strong and you will get through this. Sending love 🤍
Amanda ❤ as someone with medical trauma that i didnt even know about for years, just to say i really recommend talking the idea of medical trauma through with a therapist when you feel ready... Medical stuff is no joke, even if its 'not that bad' it's so stressful and scary for our brains to handle. But with the support of a therapist it doesn't have to be insurmountable! I found that my brain had been turning my stressful medical experiences into some really shitty self narratives that i wasn't even aware of, but together we worked out how to be more compassionate and take my experiences seriously. And i dont think about death so much anymore. Sending you so much love and support from across the ocean, im so sorry all that happened to you. you got this and things can only get better ❤
So raw. We're so proud of you for reaching out for help and also sharing this on the internet . I hope youre proud of yourself as well. Youre amazing ... We're all here for you ❤
I love you Amanda 🌸💗. You have my support for every decision you will ever make you’re so brave and I’m so proud of you 🌷🌹. The internet really is a scary place .
Passive suicidal ideation is tough to go through. I get it, I know some friends of mine who went through the same thing..Fleeting suicidal thoughts are a warning sign. I am glad you are getting help. Depression is something a lot of people go through, you are not the only one. You have a lot of bravery and strength to admit that you are going through depression. We know you can get through this, Amanda. There is always hope for recovery and happiness. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel and we know you will come out happy and healthy, on the other side. Proud of you, girl. You got this. 💪🏻
I'm so glad you're doing this, because it means that you've headed on the way to getting better. I got a depression for the first time in my life when I was about your age and I had not the slightest idea that it was in fact that - a depression. I also thought that this is just how I'd feel for the rest of my life and it was so bad. I'm so so glad that you're getting help. It is true - you will feel better again. ❤ I'm sending you all the hugs and wish you all the best! We're here with you ❤
Hi Amanda, I just want to say that before I become severely depressed and get my diagnosis, I was in denial about mental health problems in general. That's because in Greece, my country, the majority of people wouldn't be aware that it is an actual disease. Fortunately, that has changed the past few years. I am very sorry to hear that you struggle, I know from personal experience that it can make someone feel lonely and hopeless without any specific reason. Usually, advice is better from a professional who has more knowledge on the topic, but what helps me see the positive side, is to see depression as a journey to figure out more about myself. We, Humans can be very complex, and some of us might get confused while trying to figure out our purpose. Don't worry, thought it can get tough sometimes, it is also something that makes you stronger and, interestingly, helps you learn surprising stuff about yourself. I'm sending all my love to you and everyone who has a hard time with their mental health. Small tip for the friends and loved ones: all you need to do is listen, be patient, accept the situation and try not to judge. But most importantly, in order to help someone who struggles, your priority MUST be to take care of your own mental health first
You are so strong, Amanda. ♥ I'm sorry you were dismissed and discounted by doctors for so long. It feels like every time a woman suffers, the doctors just write her off. It took me over 6 years of being told "it's all in your head", "it's just your period", "you're just being hysterical", etc. before I got an actual diagnosis on what was wrong with me. Please take care of yourself! Healing vibes to you~
Thank you for sharing this Amanda. I went through the same experience when I was in high school, and the doctor said the same thing to me. It's been a crazy ride dealing with this over the years. Thank you for sharing so candidly. Post whatever you want and your loyals will always be here to support you. Sending lotsa love your way! :)
hi amanda! you’ve been a source of relaxation and happiness for me because of yours videos. your voice calms me down and whenever i watch your content i always feel safe and at home. it pains me to watch this and see you go through all that physical and mental pain. i am super proud of you for getting help and for being so strong in conquering all your battles. i hope that you constantly surround yourself with loved ones and people who make you genuinely happy. we love you so much and we are willing to wait for your content because a few videos is nothing compared to wanting you to have a full and easy recovery. health is always the priority. love you!
Oh, dear Amanda, I’m sending you a big, big hug. I’m not sure if you realize how brave it is to make such a confession, face everything you’ve been through and seek help. You’re a warrior! Be nice to yourself ❤ Lots of love and support ❤
❤I don’t comment often but want to say thank you for this! And send a big as hug!!!I wish this kind of sharing existed when i was younger, especially as someone who never opened up about my problems with sadnes, loneliness’s and constant anxiety, Thinking this is just how i am. I just always thought I was different…. Finally went to a psychologist in my late 20is but it took several more years and a friends su***, before i finally went to a psychiatrist and actually got a diagnosis, it was freeing. And after finally starting with meds, i understood that there was another way to feel… and I finally understood what “normal” was…. Lol … have to laugh cause I didn’t think it was posible… so know i tell anyone who asks, I’m open about it and if people can’t deal that’s on them. Share, care and let people know there is hope so they know they can share too!
Oh honey. You’re precious and so brave. Depression is awful, but it’s also very treatable and you are certainly not alone. I’ve been through it. No one has to suffer or ‘deserves’ it. It’s verrrry difficult to make the first step to get help, and you did it. ❤ Please take meticulous baby care of yourself, Amanda. I’m a stranger, but I’m proud of you. edit: p.s. I had a surgical procedure on my uterus too. You’re definitely not alone there either!!
My dear Amanda, I want to start this comment by saying I feel so much empathy for you. ❤ I also suffer from depression, anxiety and got diagnosed with hypothyroidism just a few years ago. I am so, so proud of you for sharing your journey with us, both physical and mental. It is totally okay to be struggling and not have a resolution at hand. Most of the time there really isn't one and that's also totally okay. You don't owe us anything. I honestly feel so honored to be part of the audience who gets to hear about your life situation and feelings, I hope you know that. You are not alone in this, I promise. You will feel better again, I can also promise you that. Take care and I'll see you again when you stream ❤
I've heard it said, we're only as sick as our secrets, so now you've opened up about it. You truly are on the road to healing. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to open that conversation and normalize it enough that people will realize why they need to get support and help. End the stigma.
Amanda, i know you probably won’t see this but i want you to know truly how strong you are not only for going through all of this but also for sharing this with the world. in the last year i’ve gotten a PCOS diagnosis (which has affected my periods since they started and will also most likely affect my fertility in some way) and a hypothyroidism diagnosis, which took three years of constant fatigue and 80 lbs of weight gain to finally get diagnosed. i also have always had a depression diagnosis, but in the last year i also had a suicide scare and was shortly after diagnosed with ADHD. dealing with all of these things has been extremely exhausting and stressful, especially because it’s a combination of mental and physical health issues. i know we don’t have the exact same medical issues but i can relate to the fatigue and stress that you’ve been feeling and i’m so proud of you for surviving through it ❤
please keep this comment section positive ❤ love u guys so much
Love u ❤❤ we are here to support ❤
I think it was very brave of you to post it and shows how strong you are. Praying for your recovery and sending you good vibes always ❤
im so sorry people are dumb enough to be rude as hell....
Sending lots of love and prayers for you. ❤❤❤.
As someone who has chronic pelvic pain as well as mental health diagnoses, I appreciate your openness on this video. It is really hard to deal with pain and disfunction when it is in your reproductive system... For me, I know I deal with a lot of shame, because I feel like I shouldn't have problems in that area. I feel like it should just work properly! But that is not my reality, and it is really hard to accept that even after more than a decade of issues. It definitely took a toll on my mental health, and it can be hard to give myself compassion and understanding when I get really low and am trapped in a pain cycle. Please know that you are not alone, and that talking about this subject helps the rest of us who are suffering feel less alone too. None of us are perfect, pain and mental health is a difficult and messy journey. You can make it to more better days than bad days, but don't forget to let yourself heal with grace.
as someone who's struggled with chronic depression and female reproductive issues for over a decade i really resonated with you telling your story and struggles. it's such a scary thing to do especially when our jobs are centred around creating a safe happy space for others online. Just wanted to say that you're a badass and such a strong person for not only going through this with your head held high but for also sharing this with everyone.
everything will be okay, just keep reminding yourself of that fact. i can tell you from experience that there is no feeling better than when you get to the other side of that tunnel.
stay strong Amanda, always here if you need a chat 💕
That’s super nice 😊
Omg my heart💖✨️ I'm so happy to see you on here supporting our queen. I love you even more now. 💓
8:56 omg! in the end of 2019, because my iron was so low, i had to get 5 weeks of iron injections. like 1 per week. i’ve never heard of anyone getting this before. thanks so much for talking about it..🥺
*edit* 14:47 amanda. this video was definitely meant for me.. i’ve been back and forth with the hospital trying to get an ultrasound for my ridiculously heavy periods. i thought i was the only one on the earth who bl*eds an insane amount. i actually have to wear adult diapers and i get my periods every 2 and a half to 3 weeks. i could go on and on about the weird symptoms that i get such as shortness of breath and like chest pains but i’ll spare you.
*amanda* you have no idea how much this video means to me. i’m gonna show part of this to my mom because she’s been trying to figure what’s wrong with me too and doing whatever she can to take care of me.. thanks soooo much… i wish i could come to canada just to hug you.😢😢
-jamie
Sharing is caring. Seriously, Amanda, it is brave of you to share. It may also help you overcome the depression. It is an illness just like the flu, or high blood pressure, or the diseases that are too terrible to name. I am honored to have watched your brave discussion about your health issues. I am also here to say that my own depression got really bad in 2016 and I started seeing a psychiatrist because I was having some pretty dark and frightening thoughts. Together we worked through the causes of my situation and I was given a medication that allowed me to feel “normal” again. There is hope for those with depression. Reaching out is the hardest part. Your sharing this message may also help save others from suffering in silence. I’m very proud of you. ❤
one of the most validating things i’ve been told is that ur mental illness does not define you - u are still the same person with all the many unique gifts, talents, skills & characteristics that make u who u are ! u just happen to be facing this new obstacle that will require a lot of time & energy to work through & hopefully overcome. but don’t let that false perception of being a burden to others stop u from reaching out, talking abt it, & getting the help u deserve. u are surrounded by people who love n care abt u, and there is always a way. find the light at the end of the tunnel & follow it. trust that things will always get better ♥️ u r stronger than u think ! sending u love
Amanda, it hurt my heart so much seeing this. I'm SO proud of you for talking about it--all of it. I know it's hard but the good you're doing for others by sharing it really does reduce the barrier for other folks trying to open up about their own experiences. I was diagnosed with GAD and general depression in 2019 and, like you mentioned in your video, thought I would always feel that way. I didn't even realize how bad it had gotten. How I'd accepted for myself a quality of life I would never let any of my loved ones accept. And it still is so hard--meds nor therapy nor lifestyle changes will rewire my brain. BUT reaching out for help improved my life immensely and I truly have a much richer & more beautiful life now because I was brave enough to ask for help & to allow people to help me: I hope you are *so* proud of yourself for taking that step. It will get easier. Nearly 5 years later I can really see how truly bad things got. What a compassionate thing for your doctor to tell you "you never have to feel like this again". I remember the relief and tears I cried hearing that for the first time. Thank you thank you thank you for sharing this with us. Hoping things get easier for you--step by step and brick by brick you'll be able to step into a life you've built intentionally with self-love. Extending the same care and kindness to yourself as you do to others is hard, but you've done hard things before and you are capable. & we'll be rooting for you all the way.
First topic…I have always had horrible periods. When I was 15 my mom took me to the family doctor. HE just laughed, quite literally, when I told him how much pain I would be in. I hated him after that. Three times in my 20s I was taken to the ER because I either fainted, lost feeling in parts of my body, or was just doubled over from pain that I couldn’t walk home from school. It was never figured out the cause, even with all the tests you mentioned and more. Second topic….as a person with depression, I know how lonely you can feel. But I want you to truly know that you are not alone. It can feel paralyzing to think about talking to someone about your true inner thoughts. It took me years to get the courage. And still to this day I take medication for it, and I think the hardest thing I ever do is talk to anyone, including my husband, about my deep inner feelings. I wish you the very best with your physical and mental health. Thanks for opening up. ❤❤❤❤❤
there is so much to takeaway from this video, so don’t say there’s nothing! i love happy endings as much as you do, but the truth is life is always in progress and continuing every moment we’re alive, so as many tough things there are i truly believe just as many good things are waiting, little or big. (even if that’s really cheesy and idealistic!) thank you for sharing your experience amanda!!! i think it’s really important to process struggles as heavy as this by sharing, and for us as watchers it’s just as important because we feel less alone. i wish you the very very best in every step you take forward. ❤❤
I went through exactly that with my periods. Polips are the story of my life. I have undergone surgery to remove them twice, you HAVE to check yourself at least once a year, sooner if you present symptoms, because they can make a comeback. My doctor told me they’re a mistery, they can come and go, reappear or never come back… and it’s rare to have cancerous ones. My doctor advised me to cut dairy and chicken from my diet, eat them like once a month if I crave them too much and try to have organic ones. So far that has worked for me, I still have kind of abundant periods so I take leafy greens every day because iron supplements kinda ruined my stomach. It’s an ordeal but I’ve learned to accept and adapt, I also share my story with most young women who struggle with their periods, it’s paramount to check yourself constantly, we’re together in this!
I'm so proud of you for taking care of your physical and mental health. I've gone through a diabetes and high blood pressure diagnosis over the last year and I totally get being exhausted by doctors appointments. It's draining, and to deal with poor mental health on top of that is so tough. Love you Amanda, hope the steps you have taken lead to happier days ahead. Blue skies are coming ❤
i am so proud of you for speaking up about this, i feel like it is so taboo that people, especially people who have periods. Heavy periods are so over normalized it's hard to get the proper help for them. I am getting a bunch of screenings this month because of mine and I recently got a bunch of iron infusions as well. I feel like so seen right now I have felt like no one understands how physically draining these health problems are and its so often glanced over... i am so happy youre feeling better thank you so much and I am sending you so much love
Thank you for sharing your journey here. The period issues are something I have struggled with for years, and last year I also ended up in the ER after a ridiculously heavy period, with very low hemoglobin, resulting in a blood transfusion, and iron injections. I had an ablation that failed completely, and in December ended up having a hysterectomy. ( I am older and my children are grown up now, so childbearing was not an issue for me anymore.) Glad you found a doctor who is listening to you and helping you move forward. That makes all the difference. Take care of you!
I’ve been a subscriber for ages and never commented. Thank you so much for sharing, I’m sure you’ll have helped so many people feel less lonely. Your videos have always helped me feel calm and relaxed. Sending lots of love 💕
Thank you for sharing, Amanda. People need to talk about period problems and mental health as there is such stigma around them. Someone out there is watching you and realising they are not alone in what they are experiencing ❤ i wish you all the best, and hope you take care and take it easy
Love your channel Rach. I think it is a good thing you shared openly and honestly about your health issues because I don’t think there is as much honestly out there as there needs to be. Depression and anxiety are scary when going through a bad time with them, and honesty is key. Keep sharing as your heart feels ready, and know your viewers support you. ❤
I'm so glad you were able to go to your doctor and talk about what you're going through. That's one of the hardest and most important steps to long term healing, and you already accomplished it!! That's awesome! I kinda went through something similar right at the start of this year (mental breakdown, health ruined, had to quit my job because I couldn't leave the house without being sick to my stomach with anxiety) and I made the decision to get medication that I probably should have made years ago. It already feels like I have more of my life back than I ever thought I could. Please just be patient with yourself, and know that we're rooting for you. What your doctor said is absolutely true. Now that you've opened up this conversation, things can and will improve. You got this. :)
i don't comment much on your videos despite loving them, but as someone who has struggled with the mental health portion of your discussion, i just wanted to remind you that it does get better and your brain eventually will stop lying to you! and i'm sure you already know all of this, but we are so proud of you for what you have managed to do for yourself, and what you'll continue to do for yourself moving forward. all the best, amanda! sending all my love
A huge fuzzy bear hug to you. I am grateful that you talked about such sensitive things. Amanda, you are so brave and strong to go through all of this and be able to talk about it! I also have some issues and don't know if I am strong enough to talk about them to anyone yet, but your video helped. love you. and thank you so much.
i’m sending you so much love, amanda 💗 i’ve also dealt with some scary and confusing health issues over the last few years that took a toll on my mental health, and even though things have been better recently, i’m still figuring out where i stand mentally. i hope you start feeling better soon, both physically and mentally 💗💗
I was anxious to watch this video because of the title and the warnings, but i'm glad I did end up watching the whole thing. thank you, amanda, for sharing and opening up albeit the difficulty of everything. i'm glad this channel is still your safe place, and i pray that nothing and no one will take that away from you (and us lil doodles).
i wish i can give you a hug :(( i've been a fan for a few years and knowing that you've been struggling for awhile breaks my heart. though it's good to know that you're moving forward and i'm proud of your progress ! please always prioritize yourself because we also want what's best for you. there's so much more i can comment but basically we still love you! what you're feeling is valid !
Chronic health issues are so draining! I hope you find great doctors that are empathetic and care for you well! ❤
I have fibroids and I understand your pain. May God helps you to recover completely and heal from that depression. People cannot really understand your mental issues. I lost my job because of my fibroids. Now I am better thanks to God. He is my Strength everyday
Thank you for sharing this, I cope so similarly. This video just motivated me to reach out for help, thank you. Wishing only the best for you and hope things get better.
Hey Amanda, I want to let you know that I am so proud of you that you opened up about your mental and physical health. It is such a brave thing to do because it can be a scary thing to talk about, especially in public. Thanks to you more people will start too make health problems, especially the mental health ones, more talked about and less taboo.
I wish you a good recovery, and you can do it! You are a good person and a fighter. It takes time but there will be light again.
It will be a process, but do not be angry or dissapointed at yourself when you are not feeling well after good days. You will become a happier and mentally more healthy eventually. Just take good care of yourself next to being extra kind. You deserve good things and the world has a lot to offer you, and you should be alive to see it all.
You'll get a happy ending! Keep your treatment, your medication, and have faith in a better future! We'll always be here to support you and remind you how great you are! Take your your time and don't pressure yourself, because depression is very hard and at the time you're diagnosed with it is very life changing, so it really is a rolller coaster!
And thank you very much for sharing your problem with periods. As someone who grew up having all kinds of periods, this is really helpful for us, our friends and family. Hope you'll get better soon! ❤
This reminds me of Megan Bowen (now Moon) who had a similar story of really intense bleeding, and lost the ability to conceive. She has the two cutest twins now through egg donation. There is always hope. Thanks for sharing your experience, it is so brave. As someone who has recently been diagnosed of PCOS, I totally can relate about being on the fence about kids, and then now not having that choice/option is truly so sad. Keep your head up! 💖
Amanda, I have loved your channel and getting to know you over the years and I just wanted to say you are so brave. Thank you for sharing with us. I am praying for you, stay strong. ❤
Thank you so much for sharing, I've watched you for so many years and you've brought so much joy with your videos! It's so brave of you to share something so personal and we all appreciate it so much! You've created this amazing community and we are all here for you!❤❤
Thank you for sharing this Amanda. Went through all of this in the same order. Somehow hearing your story makes me feel less alone and seen. Also it is so comforting to see how strong you are and proving me that I can help myself. What you do is so important in so many ways. Thank you for being here for us. But remember you are first always. Love you.
Hey, I hope you have the help and support you need!
That said, if you think you might have ADHD, please still go through the process of getting a diagnoses or knowing you don't have it. Depression and anxiety is often a result of undiagnosed ADHD. I myself have been home from work due to burnout, depression and anxiety mainly caused by undiagnosed ADHD (have been diagnosed a few months ago).
And about the polips, my doctor told me they come back sometimes, so if you have similar symptoms during your life, please get checked out again!
Take care and don't forget to take time for yourself, allow yourself to do fun things (without guilt). And really focus on relaxing and having a good time. (I have to actually plan doing fun things because I wont allow myself otherwise).
I just want to say that I see myself in what you said. I have been throught the same depression thing the past few months and it's feels good to see people who I never thought going on thing like this. I find you so brave to share about this!
Thank you from France (sorry for my mistakes aha) ❤🩹
Sending you love! I had to leave my job this year because of depression and anxiety. I thought I had ADHD, too. Make sure that you are taking care of yourself.
We love you so much. I'm glad you are getting the help you need and you are on the path to better health. Sending you lots of love and support! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I also had endometrial polyps and had them taken out. They came back a year later and I had them taken out again. Doctors told me that using an IUD would help prevent them from growing potentially but it’s really just a theory since polyps are so understudied. DM if you wanna chat more about it. I rarely meet someone with the same issue as me so happy to chat and share info. ❤
Hello❤️you’re so brave, you’re gonna get through this because you are STRONG.Never forget it.Maybe sometimes it’s gonna be difficult but you’ll make it.Physical and mental health issues can be so hard to handle, realising what’s happening is a huge part of the process and being able to talk about it is impressive.You are impressive Amanda,and little doodles will always be here for you❤️💛💜
I can relate to so much of what you said, particularly about your mental health struggles. I too have had those "fleeting thoughts". I remember feeling so confronted by those questionnaires too. Therapy and meds are helping me so much right now, but definitely lots of time is needed to relearn who I am and how to move forward in a healthy way.
A close friend of mine recently went through a VERY similar experience to your physical health story! There was just so much I related too here. Thank you for sharing, Amanda. Love, hugs, and positive vibes your way! It's so difficult to share this stuff, but it can be very healing too. ♥️
I love the video, Is ok speak about mental health, you are brave, strong and amazing... believe me as a person that had depression a few years ago, you can handle this and at the end of the journey you will be proud of yourself
This was one of the bravest videos I’ve ever seen! I hope you feel better soon.
I am sad to learn of your health issue but want to acknowledge your bravery and generosity in sharing. Please know you are not alone, sometimes knowing this can still feel lonely as your situation is still unique to you even though there are other’s experiencing something similar. Finding the right people to talk to and taking action for your own well-being, I feel, is showing yourself self-love & kindness, which you really do deserve. - or so I keep trying to tell myself. - I am overdue 3 years waiting on my endometriosis surgery - sometimes the waiting is the hardest part. You have got this, on the hard days do something tiny to make you smile and count it as a win - even if that win is taking a sofaday with yourself or eating a banana 😉 wishing you kindness and strength, Varsha
You're very strong to be able to say all of this. We'll always support you no matter what. And please don't ever feel hesitant or obligated when you're posting something. More power to you Amanda!
I’m in the same boat as you. I’ve had nonstop periods since 2014. I’ve done an ultra sound and they didn’t find anything. In the US, it’s expensive for me to try to figure out what’s wrong with me which kind of stinks. I feel fatigued and tired all of the time but I try to push through it because that’s all I can do… thanks for sharing your story. I know it’s hard because it’s such a hard topic. I also have those thoughts that if I died, I’d be okay. Or I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up. I also have a lot of fears of whether or not I can have kids. I feel like it’s a hormonal imbalance that causes me to feel this sad but again thanks for sharing..
Amanda, you are SO BRAVE. Things WILL get better. Thank you for sharing ❤
Stay strong, Amanda ❤ We love you 💕
Thank you for sharing your story ❤️ we are here for you 100%! You are so strong, you got this!
We love u Amanda and we are always with u❤❤❤
Amanda, I wish I could give you a hug. Thank you so much for sharing, this must be so hard for you. You are not alone, all of us Lil Doodles supporting you❤
Sending lots of love and support to you Amanda! Thank you for sharing! Wishing you healing and rest. ❤️❤️❤️✨️
❤❤❤ I hope you can start feeling better soon both mentally and physically. I’m sure this was a very hard video to make. I feel you are very brave and strong. I try to tell myself that all things are temporary- they come and go. So by sharing your struggles, I hope it helps life the burden off you and makes this hard time in your life pass by more quickly.
BIG hugs!!!
we are always here and always rooting for you, amanda. we are gonna get through it together 💜
I think you are such an amazing person and I really appreciate your transparency.. I'm excited for your next steps and journey thru all of these things. Keep going!...😊
Ur my inspiration in life
Thank you for inspiring me
Love you❤❤❤
I hope this message reaches you, but I have almost the exact story you told us.
I’m 40 now, but dealt with polyps, severe anemia, and crazy painful periods (as well as weight gain and hair loss) when I was in my late 20s/early 30sAnd like you, during this time I felt down and thought it was just the health issues. But after I had my polyps removed I was still very down. So like you, a few months later, I was also diagnosed with depression.
It’s hard. I’m Latina and also of a generation that isn’t very open about mental health, so I was in denial of the diagnosis for some time until I started seeing a new doctor and she asked me those same questions. At this time, I was 34 and had a 1yr old (yes, I was still able to have a child after all the period problems so hold onto that hope) and I remember thinking death would be easier, but I could never leave my child. The thought had never crossed my mind in that way, so concise a manner, like what I was saying was so normal, and I started balling in front of this doctor.
While my period problems were a thing of the past, I still felt unmotivated. I would get a day with a burst of energy and then do nothing but survive (the bare minimum for me, my husband, and child) for like 4 months. (Didn’t realize that was just mania.)
But finally being diagnosed was such a big step. Going through different medications to find what would work for me, while also trying to find a therapist that I could vibe well with was such a big hurdle to climb as well. There’s no quick fix in this journey, but once you find something that works, YOU WILL BE OK!
I can say now, at age 40, now that I’m properly medicated and have a great therapist, I’m a person that has been suffering with depression, anxiety, and a multitude of other mental health issues since I was a teenager and things only got worse because they went unchecked. But now, I’m on the other side of things. I’m able to function so much better and enjoy life in a way I didn’t think was possible. I’m always going to be someone suffering with depression, but I’m not letting the depression control my life the way it once did.
You will get on the other side of this also. You’re a beautiful soul and you’ll be okay once it all gets sorted. Your openness and transparency is so welcomed, because so many people suffer in silence. This may encourage them to also seek help. But please don’t blame yourself for this and please don’t feel like you owe anyone any kinds of explanations.
We are all here to support you in any ways we can. ❤
Ofta, I 've had a few of those periods where you pass out in my life. But I've never had that for more than 2 days. Having that for as long as you did seams so miserable!
Sending so much love Amanda 💕
I've been a physician for 16 years now and I can tell you what you went through is so hard but know that you are on the road to better health and it will get better over time and talking about it with a professional who can monitor you and make sure you are eating right and taking good care of yourself is really important .. Pro tip If you are having a big emotion like you feel like you're going to cry call someone it will really help just talking to someone in that moment to validate those feelings and perhaps to take a very tense situation and make it better. I am always around if you ever need someone to ramble to I too have been on TH-cam for almost 18 years now and I've seen it all ... the best advice I can tell you is go into TH-cam creator studio and go to settings then community scroll down and write in the blocked words list all the naughty things you dont want people to say in your comments and then when people type them only the person who said them will see them :) take that haters .. and remember when you're having a really bad day that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to lift your middle finger and tell people to bite me 😆 I hope you feel better soon and dont be afraid to ask for help when you need it . Life is hard they never said it would be easy they just said it would be worth it
amanda I don't know if you'll see this...but just know that we love u and we'll always be there for u.....hang in there....everything will get better and we will be a big happy family again.❤
Thank you for sharing❤
Thank you for sharing.
Admitting that you are struggling with depression does not, in any way, make your channel any less the positive place that it’s always been, Amanda!!!!!! As someone with a platform, it’s so helpful for you to talk about your experience because it reminds your viewers that they are not alone in their struggles either. Hang in there, we love you and we want you to be happy, healthy, and safe!
"Admitting that you are struggling with depression does not, in any way, make your channel any less the positive place that it’s always been" absolutely, facing a reality, thats a massive positive.
That's so true. Talking about it hopefully makes you free and eventually get you to a place where you are healed. Rooting for you and others suffering from depression
I’ve been a silent supporter/viewer for yearsssss now but I wanted to comment today to let you know you are so loved and so supported. It takes a lot of bravery to be open and vulnerable like this and although it is hard, I appreciate you so much for being honest about things like this. I think it can be so easy for people to get caught up in comparisons or even just the illusion of picture perfect lives on social media, from influencers and non influencers alike. So thank you for normalizing this topic and bringing awareness to it and letting your viewers know NO ONE has a “picture perfect” life. I am wishing you nothing but the best during this time. Be gracious with yourself, show yourself love and patience. We are ALL rooting for you. Sending you so much love
this is the best comment ever, i wish i were so eloquent. my thoughts and feelings are the same for Amanda so glad you chose to speak up this time Emily.
This comment is exactly what I wanted to say. 🫶
Same here , I just subscribe to u
I couldn't relate to a comment more, we love and support you @amandaRachLee
Oh, Amanda 😔 I’m so sorry you’ve been facing these health issues, both physical and mental, for so long. I’m so glad you’re finally in a place of treatment and have hope on the horizon that things will get better. Depression is so hard to live with and seeing all you continue to accomplish despite your brain working against you is something to be so so proud of ❤ please be kind to yourself, because you really do deserve that self compassion. I’m always a text message away if you want to talk through some of that messy hard sad stuff. Sending you the biggest hug 🫂
Depression creeps up on people. It’s silent but deadly. Never ignore the signs and don’t be afraid to ask help. You’re not alone. And you got this, Amanda! 💪🏽
That is very true.
Very true I feel honoured to be one of her little doodles and someone she trusts not to bottle up her emotions but share and lift off a weight. That takes courage
i had my period for 6 months in 2020, went to the hospital twice and had 2 surgeries for the same reason!! i also had a way thicker lining than normal in addition to the polyps. i dealt with this for a year before it was resolved fully. if these things grow outside of your uterus it is considered cancerous and they will have to remove ur uterus completely, so if you experience any symptoms that amanda mentioned PLS get checked out asap!!
Thank you for sharing! I have some family, since young adults and even a young adult since young, that experience similar extreme menstruation. And it often pained me, because since they're not married, there's always this either taboo or unnecessary justifications for not going to a gynae and especially not any sort of internal exam. Women's reproductive health is truly something I'm sure all over the world we need to be more open about speaking about. Like an aunt was going through a medical difficulty and didn't want anyone to know. But her daughter started feeling desperate because of the circumstances, and guess what, just sharing it in a safe space, appropriate advice from someone who had the exact issues ended up helping her immensely.
As a Doctor working in OBGYN, I commend you on how maturely and concisely you spoke about such a difficult period for you. You definitely will bring greater awareness to this, just by sharing your experience and hopefully enlighten healthcare professionals who fail to advocate for both Women’s health and Mental health, especially amongst the youth. Thank you for this, and always remember to listen to your body - you have been with it longer than any healthcare professional has.
AMEN
So true!! As an OB/GYN nurse, i absolutely concur, Doctor!
Amanda, you don't know how much this video speaks so much to me. I've also experienced the same thing last year with all the heavy bleeding, being low in iron, feeling so down and all that. I was really scared with the results as well and what will happen with the future. Thankfully, my doctor said it was nothing serious. But still, I know how hard it is to go through all of these things happening in our physical and mental health. I hope you know that you are not alone and that just by existing in this platform, you're already helping a lot of us out here to keep pushing and fighting. You are amazing and you are needed in this world. Sending you lots of love from Japan! ❤
Hemoglobin is the molecule inside the red blood cells that carries oxygen to the cells of your body, a vital step for most metabolism pathways. It's a very important little buddy!
I'm so sorry you had to go through all that experience, Amanda. I can't imagine how hard it must have been. You've got our support and love
Sending hugs. You have a lot on you , thank you for sharing your story. I really needed to hear this tonight. Thank you.
You can post anything. No matter what we will all love you
Exactly! We will always support you, so I hope you can have this safe space you’ve had for over 10 years 💗🙏🏻. Sending love ❤️
It's amazing to see the majority of the comments being positive as I scroll down, this feels so nice knowing that this community definitely gives space to nurture
So many women's issues are overlooked. Lots of women have fx endometriosis but doctors never check them out properly and just accept the pain / problems. I hope you find the cause and preventive solutions like maybe microbiom or other. God bless ❤️
th-cam.com/video/coxBNJxBUeo/w-d-xo.html 😂 Sorry to meddle! Here is a video about the microbiom being connected to polyps / pcos / hormonal imbalance and the microbiom is definitely connected to our mood. So I was wondering what changed when your periods first became so extreme. Did you have to take lots of antibiotics fx...
It takes a lot from someone to be so vulnerable on camera. I just hope you’re feeling better and continue to do so. We’re rooting for you as Lil Doodles.
Hi Amanda. FWIW from my fifty-year-old perspective and as a fan, I think you are handling all of this with grace and strength. And generosity because so many of us can relate to what you're talking about and hearing someone with your platform share your own experiences helps us all to feel less alone. So thank you and bless you! You got this!
I can relate so much to your situation. I had 3-5yrs where I felt like "my uterus was attacking me". Women's health issues really are not talked about enough. How our hormones maintain the delicate balance in our bodies, how that is tied to our mental health, these things should not be mysterious to us. Please take the time to focus on getting better, lean on your family, therapist. Take every day as it comes. Be gentle with yourself. All us Lil Doodles are happy you exist and support you continuing to do that ❤❤❤ Thanks for sharing. You are not alone.
The ability for you to come out and speak about this - all of this - can, and most likely will save and help other people. It’s refreshing to know that we are all human, and we all have issues, as different and diverse as they are. I mean, I’m 40 years old, watching you do journaling. I am married, I have a daughter and 3 dogs. BUT…YOU helped me get back into my artistic talent, YOU are a breath of fresh air in my life of chaos. I know that many of us will support you, pray for you, and be patient with you on this journey. Thank you for this video, and I do hope this relieves your fears as much as our concerns. And Thank You for everything you do!!!! (oh, and you need a puppy!)
As someone also struggling with this, I can tell you this. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! It’s one thing to admit it, and it’s another to fight it and see where it take you; and that’s one of the bravest things to do, ever!! We have all got your back no matter what. Sending you the biggest hug my darling, you’ve got this
i've also mostly been a silent supporter but the last half of this video really resonated with me. i've been seeing a therapist for anxiety and have only recently discovered i may have major depressive disorder. the scariest thing was the day i went to bed and thought hey, if i didn't wake up that might not be the worst thing. it's an absolutely terrifying mindset to be stuck in and i'm so glad you've found a supportive doctor to help you through this. sending you so much love.
Depression is so hard. When you start to come out of it, you begin to realise how you weren’t by yourself at all, it was just the illness putting a veil over your eyes.
We all love you here no matter what! You are my personal OG bullet journal TH-camr, and the reason I got started in the first place, and I couldn’t imagine that journey without you and your positive vibes helping me along the way. Please don’t go anywhere, because we certainly won’t ✨
I get the fleeting thoughts of death. I don’t want to die and I don’t want to harm myself but it’s exactly what you said - “it would be easier if I was dead.” There’s moments of highs and lows. Be gentle with yourself. Take care and lean on those you can count on. You’re so loved.
Depression does sneak in. I got help & now I’m fine & back to myself. I also have uterus issues. Glad you finally found a doctor who took it seriously and was able to help you.
I’ve never commented on one of your videos before (even though I’ve been following for years). You are so brave to share your story and it will help so many others. I am a teacher and one thing my students tell me is that when influencers share their stories, it has a gigantic impact on the lives of others. You telling your own story, with all of the details, validates others too. You got this!
Yes! Well put. I second your comment, wonderful teacher ❤
Talking about period/menstruation normalizes it, and empowers women to advocate for themselves rather than being embarrassed or thinking "I'm weird." Thank you for sharing, I understand it CANNOT be easy.
I had the opposite issue - after high school, mine just stopped. No real answer was ever found, I was on birth control for decades to regulate it. Now, at 47 - it's randomly come back and is fairly regular. No woman is exactly the same, if something seems off, please go get it checked out ❤
Hi amanda💓💓 im Francisca from chile, and i ‘ve been watching your videos since 2017 when i was 17 years, now im 23 and im so happy than you could finally talk about your feelings and just all the things that has been going on in your life💓 Now im graduating from psycology and i really know it takes so much brave to talk about your really deep feelings and througs. I just want to say thank you for your bravery and for staying here. Its okey to not be ok, and its ok to tell the people you are not ok when you need it. Thank you so much for all these years🥺💓 and i really want to you to be healthy and happy, so take all the time you need and just talk about whatever you want and need.
Illness trauma is real, there is a lot of things to face and process. The “death would be easier” thought moment, been there because of illness and it is scary. Being honest with yourself and others is important and therapy has helped me immensely through my own struggles.
All the best and all the luck!
last September I also underwent surgery almost similar as yours (myomectomy surgery, English is not my first language so it's my assumption that it's similar). Doctor found 8 centimeters myoma in my uterus. (Myoma = fibroids, non-cancerous tumors). The fact that the size is 8 centimeters make it has to be taken out.
Women have so many silent killers so I think it is good that you share your story and raise awareness about this. I'm wishing you full recovery at your own pace. Recovering from surgery is a long journey, but you are definitely strong and you will get through this. Sending love 🤍
Having a ''positive'' space on the internet does not mean toxic positivity of nothing is ever wrong
Amanda ❤ as someone with medical trauma that i didnt even know about for years, just to say i really recommend talking the idea of medical trauma through with a therapist when you feel ready... Medical stuff is no joke, even if its 'not that bad' it's so stressful and scary for our brains to handle. But with the support of a therapist it doesn't have to be insurmountable! I found that my brain had been turning my stressful medical experiences into some really shitty self narratives that i wasn't even aware of, but together we worked out how to be more compassionate and take my experiences seriously. And i dont think about death so much anymore. Sending you so much love and support from across the ocean, im so sorry all that happened to you. you got this and things can only get better ❤
So raw. We're so proud of you for reaching out for help and also sharing this on the internet . I hope youre proud of yourself as well. Youre amazing ... We're all here for you ❤
I love you Amanda 🌸💗. You have my support for every decision you will ever make you’re so brave and I’m so proud of you 🌷🌹. The internet really is a scary place .
Passive suicidal ideation is tough to go through. I get it, I know some friends of mine who went through the same thing..Fleeting suicidal thoughts are a warning sign. I am glad you are getting help. Depression is something a lot of people go through, you are not the only one. You have a lot of bravery and strength to admit that you are going through depression. We know you can get through this, Amanda. There is always hope for recovery and happiness. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel and we know you will come out happy and healthy, on the other side. Proud of you, girl. You got this. 💪🏻
I'm so glad you're doing this, because it means that you've headed on the way to getting better. I got a depression for the first time in my life when I was about your age and I had not the slightest idea that it was in fact that - a depression. I also thought that this is just how I'd feel for the rest of my life and it was so bad. I'm so so glad that you're getting help. It is true - you will feel better again. ❤ I'm sending you all the hugs and wish you all the best! We're here with you ❤
Hi Amanda, I just want to say that before I become severely depressed and get my diagnosis, I was in denial about mental health problems in general. That's because in Greece, my country, the majority of people wouldn't be aware that it is an actual disease. Fortunately, that has changed the past few years. I am very sorry to hear that you struggle, I know from personal experience that it can make someone feel lonely and hopeless without any specific reason. Usually, advice is better from a professional who has more knowledge on the topic, but what helps me see the positive side, is to see depression as a journey to figure out more about myself. We, Humans can be very complex, and some of us might get confused while trying to figure out our purpose. Don't worry, thought it can get tough sometimes, it is also something that makes you stronger and, interestingly, helps you learn surprising stuff about yourself. I'm sending all my love to you and everyone who has a hard time with their mental health. Small tip for the friends and loved ones: all you need to do is listen, be patient, accept the situation and try not to judge. But most importantly, in order to help someone who struggles, your priority MUST be to take care of your own mental health first
You are so strong, Amanda. ♥ I'm sorry you were dismissed and discounted by doctors for so long. It feels like every time a woman suffers, the doctors just write her off. It took me over 6 years of being told "it's all in your head", "it's just your period", "you're just being hysterical", etc. before I got an actual diagnosis on what was wrong with me.
Please take care of yourself! Healing vibes to you~
Thank you for sharing this Amanda. I went through the same experience when I was in high school, and the doctor said the same thing to me. It's been a crazy ride dealing with this over the years. Thank you for sharing so candidly. Post whatever you want and your loyals will always be here to support you. Sending lotsa love your way! :)
hi amanda! you’ve been a source of relaxation and happiness for me because of yours videos. your voice calms me down and whenever i watch your content i always feel safe and at home. it pains me to watch this and see you go through all that physical and mental pain. i am super proud of you for getting help and for being so strong in conquering all your battles. i hope that you constantly surround yourself with loved ones and people who make you genuinely happy. we love you so much and we are willing to wait for your content because a few videos is nothing compared to wanting you to have a full and easy recovery. health is always the priority. love you!
Oh, dear Amanda, I’m sending you a big, big hug. I’m not sure if you realize how brave it is to make such a confession, face everything you’ve been through and seek help. You’re a warrior! Be nice to yourself ❤ Lots of love and support ❤
❤I don’t comment often but want to say thank you for this! And send a big as hug!!!I wish this kind of sharing existed when i was younger, especially as someone who never opened up about my problems with sadnes, loneliness’s and constant anxiety, Thinking this is just how i am. I just always thought I was different…. Finally went to a psychologist in my late 20is but it took several more years and a friends su***, before i finally went to a psychiatrist and actually got a diagnosis, it was freeing. And after finally starting with meds, i understood that there was another way to feel… and I finally understood what “normal” was…. Lol … have to laugh cause I didn’t think it was posible… so know i tell anyone who asks, I’m open about it and if people can’t deal that’s on them. Share, care and let people know there is hope so they know they can share too!
Oh honey. You’re precious and so brave. Depression is awful, but it’s also very treatable and you are certainly not alone. I’ve been through it. No one has to suffer or ‘deserves’ it. It’s verrrry difficult to make the first step to get help, and you did it. ❤ Please take meticulous baby care of yourself, Amanda. I’m a stranger, but I’m proud of you. edit: p.s. I had a surgical procedure on my uterus too. You’re definitely not alone there either!!
My dear Amanda, I want to start this comment by saying I feel so much empathy for you. ❤ I also suffer from depression, anxiety and got diagnosed with hypothyroidism just a few years ago. I am so, so proud of you for sharing your journey with us, both physical and mental. It is totally okay to be struggling and not have a resolution at hand. Most of the time there really isn't one and that's also totally okay. You don't owe us anything. I honestly feel so honored to be part of the audience who gets to hear about your life situation and feelings, I hope you know that. You are not alone in this, I promise. You will feel better again, I can also promise you that. Take care and I'll see you again when you stream ❤
I've heard it said, we're only as sick as our secrets, so now you've opened up about it. You truly are on the road to healing. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to open that conversation and normalize it enough that people will realize why they need to get support and help. End the stigma.
Amanda, i know you probably won’t see this but i want you to know truly how strong you are not only for going through all of this but also for sharing this with the world. in the last year i’ve gotten a PCOS diagnosis (which has affected my periods since they started and will also most likely affect my fertility in some way) and a hypothyroidism diagnosis, which took three years of constant fatigue and 80 lbs of weight gain to finally get diagnosed. i also have always had a depression diagnosis, but in the last year i also had a suicide scare and was shortly after diagnosed with ADHD. dealing with all of these things has been extremely exhausting and stressful, especially because it’s a combination of mental and physical health issues. i know we don’t have the exact same medical issues but i can relate to the fatigue and stress that you’ve been feeling and i’m so proud of you for surviving through it ❤