friendly reminder: there's no such thing as having a logical conversation with your anxiety. If you're feeling frustrated or silly because you feel anxious or have panic attacks for 'stupid' reasons, they're not stupid. There aren't any things you 'should' or 'shouldn't' feel anxious about.
I am crying while typing this. There are many "mental health" chats on youtube but most people don't open up like you have. As someone who has many issues I salute you for your bravery. This video felt like a hug.
For someone like you who’s constantly perceived as “productive”, I’m really happy that you’re shedding light on the reality of mental health. Excited to hear your meaningful insights, always looked up to you as a role model. Love you, Ruby!💕
if you see someone who seems to be in distress , if they’re alone then lightly , very gently ask them if they’re okay and try to calm them down , if they’re already with someone , KEEP ON MOVING PLEASE DONT EVEN LOOK AT THEM IT WILL MAKE IT WORSE JUST GO THEYRE BEING LOOKED AFTER
Sometimes I wish I was strong and stable enough to talk to someone who is feeling anxious or depressed and tell him/her everything is going to be okay...but first I have to work with my own depression and anxiety, because that words only make me feel sick because I know I'm not okay... But someday I believe I will be able to do It and I will be so happy to help others
I did great in the first semester, and then when Corona occured I was really depressed. Wouldn't study, wasn't motivated and kept keeping up with the news. I came around, but I still have so many restrictions in order not to catch the flu as it was dangerous for my sick brother to get it... I just want to pull through right now. And be outdoors as much as possible. Ruby you helped loads. I'm glad I found you on YT (it's been a year now). You genuinely help me go through with my studying 🤗
Could you share what you did to come around? I'm pretty much in the same situation, only an year ahead. Did great in the first 3 semesters, Corona happened and now I've no idea what's happened and how.
i was in a similar situation. last fall i took a break from college bc of health reasons (i have generalized anxiety disorder, gastritis, and at the time i also had lyme disease). i got the rest i needed and when i returned to school for spring 2020 semester i was doing better than ever with my grades and with how happy i felt. once we switched to online i regressed in mental health and the classes i was getting A's in before were dropping to C's and D's. i ended up having to drop half my classes. i was just so depressed trying to work at home. like i could never fully motivate myself and i also could never fully relax. but i got through the classes i stayed in. i wish i had some helpful tips but all i can really say is that you're not alone in this. be gentle to yourself and be proud of the little things. if all you do today is survive and stay home to keep others safe, you should feel accomplished. if all you do the next few months is survive, that's okay. i dont think any employer is going to judge someone for having incompletes or lower grades during a pandemic bc we all suffered through it. i hope something in this ramble was helpful and i hope you all stay safe, healthy, and happy ❤️❤️
@@SoumilSahu well the first step for me was to stop being so harsh on myself and understand I'm not under normal circumstamces. So I relaxed and found new hobbies and new things to learn. Them Ruby spoke about how I should ask myself why I study what I study, what is my goal -- and my motivation started crawling back, little by little. I eventually got tired of tv shows and wanted better accomplisments. Also, if you like writting by hand - study at least by doing that. I studied very little every few days but at least I did some of the work by writing down notes and thoughts. Try anything and dont give up 😊😊😊
i struggle with depression and ever since i found your channel you have motivated me to be organized and i spent the whole day cleaning my room to your videos and it gave me so much motivation. i love u so much ruby and mental health is ever so important and im so proud of you for coming out about this
@Cherry Cola You don't really need to be so called officially diagnosed...I mean I haven't since, if I do I might have just ruined my career and future...since, mental heath is stigmatized...especially where I am from...I suffer depression and panic attack. I just treat myself without any medication and occasionally visit my therapist secretly.....
I put off watching this for a little while just because I knew it would affect me- I'm currently in year 12 and I've struggled with perfectionism and similar issues with compulsions alongside regular panic attacks (more frequently in year 11, at one point I was having 2-3 a week). Ruby, it meant so much to me to hear you talk about mental health, in this video and the wooden spoon podcast. in y9-11 I almost much idolised the version of yourself that you showed in your 15 hour study days, when it wasn't healthy for me to be studying for so long. it's helped me so much to see you discuss how that has changed and it's helped me accept myself and work towards a more healthy mindset- you've inspired me so much, especially this year. Your mention of mental health before an exam and underperforming brought me to tears, I have year 12 PPE's in a fortnight, and for the first time, I think I'm actually facing the fact that I will not be in a well enough state to get the grades that I'm capable of, which is quite distressing for me as I'm very much a perfectionist when it comes to my academic performance. I'm going to try my best to accept that I'm working as hard as I can in these circumstances. :)
I've been feeling so unmotivated lately. I can't bring myself to do my work for online school, and then as it piles up and I fall behind I get even more overwhelmed. Thank you for sharing, talking about mental health is really important.
Hi Mazie, I'm not Ruby, but your comment caught my eye. I've struggled with feeling unmotivated and those feelings of feeling overwhelmed. I also know how difficult online school can be. Please remember you can do the work. You are capable and you are loved. Try breaking one task into smaller tasks, even if its just turning on the computer or tablet and logging in. Do you like lists? Make a list of all the smaller tasks you need to do and crossing off each one might help ease that overwhelmed feeling. Remember you are not alone. These are unusual times and we have to adjust constantly in an uncertain world. Reach out if you need to vent or rant or just need some homework help.
I never comment on TH-cam videos, but I want you to know how genuinely comforting this was to hear. In school I was always seen as the girl who had her life together and her whole future figured out, which was very isolating because I do struggle with anxiety. No one is perfect, and it's so important that we keep that in mind, especially in the age of social media!
I think personally mental issues don't always have to be connected to clinical issues. I would say I am a very positive person, but inside I am very depressed especially during quarantine, but I don't think I necessary have clinical depression. Mental health is the most important thing in our lives, and thank you for sharing your experience.
@Lara Theumatt bc the cat is starving, the cat wants food, no not that nasty dry food, the good food, no you didnt just feed me 15 min ago, no you did not, you absolutely have not fed me in days... weeks... forever... do you see any delicious wet food in that food bowl? Me neither ... and you never fed me today, nope, I am wasting awayyyy... why why why are you letting me starve....meow meow MEOWWWWW
I'm autistic, I have anxiety and I've had depression. I think it's important for people to let others be open about what you're going through. When I was at my worst, I always felt alone.
It was really nice to hear you talk about therapy at the start, because my experience with therapy has been quite similar and I think a lot of people underestimate how hard it is to firstly accept the help you're getting, and secondly finding a therapist you really bond with. I've had three counsellors, the first was the school nurse at my secondary school, who made things a lot worse for me and I really hated talking with her because she invalidated everything I said and treated me like I was stupid. The second therapist I had one session with privately and she only wanted to talk about my family dynamic and nothing else, and at the time that was a hugely sore subject. I'm currently half way through a course with a college therapist and he's amazing, my mental health is so much better since seeing him and he's definitely the right guy for me - I've really never felt better, in all honesty. I have major depression, general anxiety disorder and have had panic disorder in the past, and nobody took me seriously until I tried to end my life when I was 15, and even then CAHMS wouldn't come to see me in hospital so I left and vowed I'd never seek recovery again because that experience taught me that nobody cared enough to try and keep me alive. I'd never had anyone validate my experiences, the trauma I'd been through and the illnesses I clearly had, so finding my current therapist who immediately sat me down and said 'you are sick, you need help, you aren't making this up' was so validating that I started crying. I turn 18 very soon and I've had mental health issues since I was 12, and I really do think attention to the wellbeing of young teenagers is so important. I don't think I would've been nearly as s*icidal at the times I have been if that school nurse paid attention to what I was saying rather than just telling me it was hormones and I wanted attention - it can and does save lives. This is a really raw subject for me but since therapy has unburdened me of all the baggage I was holding onto I wanted to write this out in case anyone reads it - you are capable and deserving of recovery. You are not doing this for attention, you aren't exaggerating or making it up, you are valid and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Please, allow yourself to seek recovery because you are so worth it, even if you feel insignificant, there are so many people who love you and want you to be the happiest you can be. If nothing else, I believe in you.
As someone with three different mental illnesses I don’t have a issue with the “labels”. Diagnosis is important for treatment. You do need to to know what your dealing with to be able to treat it.
Same. I was diagnosed with ASD when i was 12, and for a while we queried ADHD. But my mum was uncomfortable with all the labels, so i wasnt followed up with an assessment for ADHD. I dont mind the labels, if it means i get the help i need.
I agree, the amount of relief I felt when I was finally diagnosed was a form of treatment itself. I understand the other viewpoint, that all symptoms are a spectrum and all people fall someplace on that spectrum. I think that idea is favoured by people who struggle occassionally with their mental health but aren't necessarily suffering from mental illness, for example feeling depressed and having major depressive disorder are two very different things. As a psych student, it's also important to have diagnoses so we can engage effectively in research. It's difficult to measure 'how many people suffer from x' or 'what's the best treatment for y' if we don't have a definite understand of what x and y actually are. This goes doubly for diagnoses which have an identifiable cause (think PTSD, DID, etc).
Me too. I was diagnosed with a serious mental illness two days ago, so from now on I can access treatment and my pain is taken seriously. Diagnoses can be so important.
I think in terms of labels you can really have two types of situations. On the one hand, I do agree that a spectrum and less “trying to fit this into a box” would benefit all of us, on the other hand there is the promise of a diagnosis that explains what exactly is going on with you. As someone who struggles with diagnosed depression and social anxiety disorder getting a diagnosis has helped me so so so much. I was questioning my mental health because I had been really bad in the past, and so when I got “better” (but not well) I was questioning whether I had issues in the first place - and being told that my issues and struggles were valid and that there was a word for it, that it wasn’t just “oh this is life, being this unhappy” was so helpful. Similarly with my social anxiety, i used to tell people “oh i’m really anxious about speaking to people and eating in front of people and generally doing anything” and they usually responded with “oh me too i hate presentations too” and I thought that my struggles were normal and me complaining/venting about them was attention seeking and asking for help with them was rude and inconsiderate until I got that diagnosis. That’s usually what convinces people otherwise, it distinguished between normal struggles and struggles severely impacting day to day life. And personally I have benefitted from these diagnosis.... I think there are two sides of things.
I had quite a similar experience to you in your first therapy session(s) in a way: I had a 6 week "trial" with a therapist in year 8- my mum is a psychologist so she knew some people. Honestly, I was really open to it, because I felt miserable. I found it really unhelpful, though, and she was extremely patronising, which just made the whole experience another chore. It also, ironically, made me even more anxious, and i felt like i couldn't be honest because she would tell my parents a lot. I would really like to have a therapist now, this wasn't super long ago, but the problem is largely the money. I really admire you for sharing this, and I'm so glad that I've found someone who has had similar experiences to me. This is really brave, well done and thank you so much!
I'm not sure where you live and I'm not sure if your still looking for therapist but I would highly recommend MIND it really helped me and it was all free on the NHS 🙂
İ'm a psychology student and i have seen so many people in bad conditions. One thing that i can say is asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of. There will always be someone to help you. Proud of you ruby💕
You're so real in this video. So human. Vulnerable, strong and open. Thank you for talking about these issues and topics in such an educated, smart yet casual way! It feels like you got a bit nervous about opening up about your personal experience but I think it really makes viewers connect and feel seen more easily. All in all, it's a great video! You're amazing.
As someone who has a brother with Asperger's and untreatable depression and someone who has nighttime panic attacks and sleep paralysis nightmares I really appreciate you being willing to talk about these things. The academia media rarely discusses the rampant mental health problems caused by it and often portray very unhealthy behaviors regarding school
Panic attacks are so scary. I have them fairly regularly. Once I had to go home because I was genuinely scared of being stalked home by people who had stalked me earlier in the day. Great that you are able to share your own experiences.
I reckon this pandemic's going to open up a whole pandora's box of issues for years and maybe even a generation or two to come, with issues like hand-washing, contamination, social anxiety, agoraphobia etc.
Very interesting especially right now. Especially what you said about labeling placing a lack of empathy. I’m fully vax’d but I’m disgusted by the term anti vaxers. People making private decisions about their own bodies should not be dehumanized because you don’t agree with their decision and watching this has helped me to realize exactly how much that is happening right now. Fabulous video. Much love ! ❤️
I have seen this video pop-up so many times and I have always been afraid to watch it as I was worried that it would be triggering hearing someone talking about mental health. Why did I worry? Ruby, you delivered that video in such a sensitive way, it was a comfort. I have severe OCD and often feel quite ostracised but inaccurate representations of OCD in the media and it was wonderful to hear some speak about their experience in such an honest and non-glamorised way. Thank you 💖
Thank you for this! I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder when I was 7, so it's always been part of my life, but in the last 5 or so years there's been so much change in regard to how mental illness is spoken about that it's become so much less stigmatized. I've loved seeing that change and how it's positively impacted people and I'm glad you're contributing :)
Thank you so much for being so honest. I really often thought about how you deal with mental health because saw so much perfection in you. I am amazed how you deal with it and how positive you stay. You are a strong woman! You inspire so many people out there every day. Thank you so much!
So happy that someone really had the courage to talk so openly about that. Thank you, Ruby! You are an inspiration for all of us, not just for me, as i see from the comments. I struggle with anxiety since a year ago. It was really hard realising that I have it, realising that I need to go see a therapist. I had a huge panic attack which lead me to faint and that was the time when I found out. Been struggling with that since then and to be really honest I am not in a very good state of mind but I learned that life doesn’t mean just bad days and paintful experiences. Now I can’t believe that I am preparing to be a therapist. I would have laughed so hard if someone would have told that little girl from years ago who wanted nothing but to be on big stages acting that she would want to become a therapist. So for everyone who needs this: Life is full of paintful experiences, awful people who will hurt you but the power is in your hands. You may not think like that but you are strong enough to overcome your fears, your insecurities and don’t forget, good days are coming. Don’t give up after a bad day or more bad days, or even an awful year or more years. If you get here, thank you for reading all of this, I felt like I needed to share my experience here. With love, a girl who didn’t gave up
Hi Ruby, it's so good to know that I am not the only one who found staying home by myself terrifying, this makes me feel so much less alone, thank you for sharing this! :)
The first few times my father had panic attacks, he thought he was dying. So I am glad more people know what panic attacks can feel like so if it happens to them for the first time hopefully they know what it is. Anxiety and panic attacks are very scary but it won't last forever and you'll be okay.
I really felt scared today when I had an interview for my undergraduate course admission. I was so tensed and nervous that I answered a few questions wrong. Then I realized that I would never get into any college for that matter. I thought if I cry about it I will be fine. But I can't even make muself cry. When this video came on my recommendation I waz relieved to be honest. Thank you Ruby. You have been this support to me and to millions out there. During these times I come here, to your channel looking for positivity.
Radha Mn you can get into almost any college to do almost anything and if you were tensed and nervous then it shows the place wasn’t/isn’t right for you especially as it’s undergraduate I feel as though you are expected to get stuff wrong and they guide you to the answers. I know this probably won’t help you out. But having faith and trust that things will go well. Is really helpful. I hope you have nice days. Life is and never will be a race😌😊
For anyone out there struggling, there is hope and help. I had severe OCD and had to be hospitalized. With therapy, medication, honesty, vulnerability, and time, I’ve gotten so much better. I’m happier than I have ever been ❤️
I agree with you about labelling individuals with mental health disorders! It creates a self-fulfilling prophecy in that they have to live up to those labels which could make their mental health worse! Thank you so much for speaking out about your own mental health! If more people speak out about their struggles, hopefully mental health will become less stigmatised.
Maybe but I think labels also allow you to have the language to describe and legitimise how you are feeling. If you have they label in all likelihood your symptoms were sever enough to warrant it because most professionals don’t take diagnosing someone lightly. There’s nothing to live up to because you are already ill. There is not self fulfilling prophecy because you fulfilled it even before you received the label. You just probably didn’t realise just how and things were until then
Hey Ruby, I didn't do well at school because I had some family alcoholism issues at home and wish, wish, WISH I'd told someone at the time - I told nobody! I'm 30 years old now and even though you're younger than me, your productivity and calm manner is inspirational and helpful even now since these past problems still affect me. There will be young people who are going through problems like I did, and you will be making a great difference to their lives - helping them focus and do the best for themselves - thanks for being you and for your honesty x
You have a very compassionate voice and input on mental health. I agree that labels segregate and they can cause one to feel even more isolated. As someone who has had OCD and Panic attacks i know that it is so important to take care of ourselves and to practice self love...Allowing for ourselves not to try to reach Perfection but rather to see ourselves always as "works in progress". This is so much kinder and so much more Freeing...After all, what we see as errors or mistakes are simply learning tools on our way towards Growth...Thank you for this heart felt and compassionate video...
As someone who nearly lost her battle with mental health a few months ago this video is so so relieving to watch, knowing that even if it appears online that someone is okay, they might not be and it feels so much less lonely for me. I sometimes forget that what you see online isn’t always how it is in real life. Thank you for making this video, Ruby. It has been so nice to listen to you talk about this sort of thing & use your platform for such important things! 💛
Thank you so much for this video Ruby ! I am a very anxious person and it can't be really hard to deal with sometimes. It feels good to see that I am not alone. Everyone should be open about mental health without feeling ashamed or anything. Love from France ! ♥
Honestly talking about the difficulties is one of the most confident thing one suffering from any mental health problems could do. I am so thankful for this, Ruby.
Hi Ruby thank you so much for sharing your very difficult experiences. I am a mental health nurse and so appreciate your discussions around the need for better mental health support and psychology and I love your suggestions. Keep being your gorgeous self. I really love watching your journey and have teenage daughters who I am always trying to reassure about the future and that their grades are not the be all and end all. Xx
Thank you so much for furthering the discussion of mental health and adding your own opinions on topics. Personally I found it so beneficial to hear you talk about your experiences with therapy and also with panic attacks and feeling overly anxious. I have anxiety myself so panic attacks are no stranger to me. After having one, especially when at school, I can’t help but feel embarrassed. I felt as though everyone was watching me. I hated it. I’ve slowly began to accept it is not something to be embarrassed about, and since you are somebody whom I look up to so much I really love how openly you spoke about your feelings before and after the attacks you’ve had previously. Thank you so much for creating this video, and shedding light on the issues there are in the world of mental health and things related. Xx
This is really well worded. What I like in particular is that you have mentioned the problems but also the solution! A proposition for a solution shows that you have an open mindset and want get better and help others get better. Inspiring!
Thank you, I deal with very similar things (major depression, anxiety disorder + ocd tendencies) and it always kills me when it interferes with my academics. I really appreciate your openness, and it was definitely very comforting to hear. It’s a reminder that I can pull through it and be productive when it happens, but if I just need to take a step back I shouldn’t beat myself up over it, either.
This is really weird but whenever I talk about panic attacks and mental health with people, I feel even more anxious than I usually do, and then suddenly get the symptoms of a panic attack. It’s horrible
I experience somehting simoliar. I have autism, and whenever i talk about it, whether that be with my Occupational therapist, or cognitive behaviour therapist or even just family memeber, i begin to fidget and twitch, and my senses heighten (the sympotms of my autistic meltdowns). Sometimes it even builds up into a fullblown meltdown. I think its because when we talk about something we're bringing it to the forefront of our mind, and focussing on it. Its like if someone points out that youve got a bruise on your arm, it suddenly starts hurting, because noe youre focussed on it, and you notice the pain, amplifying it. These are just guesses, but i think they make sense. Also, youre not weird, and youre not alone in this 💙
Thank you so much for talking about this!! Mental health is such an important topic to discuss and it truly makes me feel better knowing that there are people willing to talk about it. Also, the collar on your shirt is absolutely adorable!!!
I watched this to calm myself down. I had some personal stresses in the past few days and today, I watched something really upsetting that completely thew me of my balance again... So thank you for giving me a sense of comfort.
Thank you for being so open. I think, many people still struggle with admitting, they would profit from therapy, including myself, but I overcame my pride after years and start therapy this week. Because it's not a sign of weakness and I am not "giving in" to my bullies, when I admit their actions damaged me to a point that I am over five years later still struggling because of it.
I have clinically-diagnosed OCD and have definitely felt a kindred spirit to you, your struggles, and habits. Thanks so much for sharing :) It really does mean a lot to see obsessive compulsive tendencies portrayed on social media.
I’m really glad you have made this video, mental health is something we really need to talk about especially with the pandemic going on and it’s important for people to open up but because of the stigma and romanticisation of mental illness it’s harder for people to open up about these things because people don’t want others to think they are being attention seekers, also I think it’s rather brave of you to talk about your own experiences
Thank you for posting this Ruby. I love your openness and honesty about your own mental health path. My eldest struggles with his mental health which is complicated by ASD and attending a high demand single sex grammar school (Note: He chose it himself and loves it. It was not something put on him. I would NEVER make those choices for either of them). This has been especially the case this academic year and I CANNOT say how proud of both children I am for coming together as a family to support and encourage him to receive the best treatment modalities for him, which have been, overall, positive. I think hearing more young people like him (perfectionistic at times and over critical of himself at times too) say and express their own struggles and letting him know he is not alone helps a great deal! He is here with me now and listened to every word you said. Thank you.
I can so relate to this, I really struggled with panic attacks since year 9 as well and I had so many it became unhealthy. It’s affected me in my confidence and people have made fun of me thinking I was ‘faking it’. It feels so humiliating having a panic attack in front of everyone. Today actually I got my results and they were overall positive but I overthink and for some reason I think the feedback is not real and that I’m not good enough. Idk if anyone can relate to this. People say also that you seem confident and happy when it’s mainly my skills that I lack confidence even tho I get told I’m semi decent. Well done for making this x
School and grades stressed me out so much that I burned myself out. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety disorder and panic attack disorder and had to take 3 gap years in a row before I was well enough to start university. Thank you for shedding light on mental health in relation to education ❤️
its so nice that she talked about ocd as i have struggled with it grately and it got to the point where i wouldn't speak and just count to four instead-contstantly. it really makes me feel not alone! thanks so much!
Thank you. I needed that. I struggle with depression, I am in therapy but is sooo valuable to hear things like that from a young person who is also studying.
Ruby, thank you so much for posting this. Your story is so similar to mine - I first went to therapy in year 10 for anxiety. I was so stressed and panicked about GCSEs, had social anxiety and based all of my self worth on exam results. I had panic attacks before most of my GCSEs. I finished year 13 recently and I’m now in so much of a better place! It’s still not easy, I still obsess over grades more than I should and get anxious but going through cbt and taking medication has really helped. I got through my last set of exams without panic attacks and am now so so much happier!
Thank you for talking about this! It’s so devastating that the CAMHS waiting list for a therapist in my area is 12 months, I’ve been let go from mental health services because they cannot see the point in waiting so long for help to come. However, things will always get better, the sun will shine again and happiness will come. Stay safe everyone
When doing my GCSE’s I used to get stressed to the point of throwing up. I think it was exacerbated by my nana dying and a break up straight before them. I came out with good grades, but I look back and I was so ill. I lost nearly two stone and literally sobbed every night. Looking back, I should have been more open and sought help. This video is amazing, you should be very proud of yourself ❤️
Ruby, I used to be in exactly the same situation as you. Toxic all-consuming perfectionism that left me depressed and burnt out and hating myself if I was anything less than the top of the top. I had no real world experience, I was a very sheltered child with strict parents that didn't let me do anything BUT study, so it was where I got all my validation and love and self worth from. I was nothing if I didn't have grades. I didn't realise how much it was sucking my soul out of my body. I didn't realise that there was so much more to life than school. I struggled for 5 years because I kept holding on to this ideal that I was taught and I was just holding on to it so hard when the world wanted to shake it out of me. That was not my path. I was meant to do well at school but to not get my self worth from it, and the Universe made sure I let go of that habit and learned to do better. Life is always happening for you, not to you. You grew. You learned. You got stronger. And that's the point of life. I am so much more positive and happy, and its a feat because I have Negative Nancy for a mother. I truly consider it the achievement of my life to have grown and shed all the nonsense I was taught and finding my own path and my own way. You suffered, you learned, and now you are using your platform to hep others. That shows that you have come full circle, even if you struggle with it from time to time. Be proud!
I'm watching and re-watching this video just now because I needed something like this after my father's death. I'm struggling a lot with bad thoughts, sleeping issues and some health issues, but this video helps me a lot with overcoming my fears of living and I just had a really good night sleep, thanks to you. I hope people in Russia and all around the world will be more open about mental health because sometimes it's really important to see that's your problems don't mean that you're a bad person and that others also have bad days/weeks/months sometimes.
What a lovely video! Thanks so much for opening up about your mental health like this, as someone who struggles with obsessive-compulsive tendencies myself i found it really helpful. One thing I want to add is that there's actually a lot of new research in neuroscience to back up what you said about mental health being a spectrum. I'll leave a link to this one paper in particular but in short it's about this network of different brain areas called the default-mode-network (DMN). The DMN is the part of our brains that basically helps us to function efficiently in everyday situations and ensures our survival, but in order to do that it has a suppressive influence on pretty much all other parts of the brain. It's the filter that determines what information enters consciousness and it's also the seat of the ego. The paper proposes that high DMN activity is linked to anxiety, OCD and eating disorders while low DMN activity is linked to depression. It provides some really fascinating insight into the neural correlates of mental health so maybe give it a read if you're interested (figure seven *spectrum of cognitive states* in particular describes just what you were talking about. (The entropic brain - Carhart-Harris/Leech www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2014.00020/full)
So incredible that you were able to share this! I agree with your points especially for mental health services being accessible to all - I know I struggle to talk about my own problems with my mental health, in the society we live in it can be difficult to share experiences. As well as that, I wish people would see “mental health” as a positive thing - we see “physical health” as a good thing. We all have both mental and physical health, as well encountering issues in both of these areas, which we all need a bit of help with from time to time. Great video as always Ruby, thank you!
Hi Ruby! As soon as I saw your instagram story post, I've been really excited for this video because I think people on this platform censor the negatives and only show the positives, and I think videos like these encourage people to be more open and less hesitant when discussing mental health. So thank you for this, it's helped alot of people including myself!
Hi Ruby. I've really enjoyed this video. I was diagnosed at the age of 16 with a learning disability and since last year i've decided to be more open about it, and about mental health. Hearing other people talking about their own experiences with mental health, really helps. Thank you.
Thank you for being so candid! I don’t really talk about myself much but I feel openness is important. My mental health has been on the floor since... well, before living memory, but it came to a head from Year 12 onwards. I taught myself a fifth A level in a year to try to show that I was the best (not bragging - it was a HORRIBLE and impulsive idea) because I was such a maladaptive perfectionist with massive diagnosed depression and anxiety. I had an obsession with having to be perfect and better than everyone else. Studying was also a distraction from the rapid (and sudden) decline and death of my beloved grandmother from cancer and my rejection from Cambridge shortly thereafter. I expected myself to get 5A*s, and pressure from my teachers and my peers was immense. I cried in my teachers’ offices on the regular, and I never got access to therapy. I got A*AAAA in the end, and was distraught on results day - but people just assumed I was an ungrateful brat from my rather visceral reaction. (It probably did come across as such, to be fair.) Nobody realised how ill I was. I am now recovering well. I am a student at the University of Birmingham, I’ve made good friends and am enjoying myself for the first time in a long time. I am proud of my results and my current path, and I am proud of anyone fighting the same fight. People expect problems less in people with excellent grades, but the suffering is real.
actually, therapy made me worse, but that might because I have a rare developmental disability that affects theright hemisphere of brain ( due to brain damage) and I was misdiagnosed by therapists who didn't pick up this right hemisphere brian damage
Ruby this video means a lot. Thank you for speaking out about such an important topic. Seeing that you, someone with what can be interpreted as a perfect life, speak about such raw problems is so helpful. Personally, it makes me feel less shame around experiencing similar things that you have described, while simultaneously motivating me by showing that with these problems, a productive, positive and successful life can still be lived! All my love ❤️
Thank you for this! I have severe anxiety disorder and get really bad panic attacks, & I am a perfectionist for everything, pictures being straight, cupcake cups being the same color, literally everything, so thanks for shedding some light on it, love the video as always!
I've finally admitted to myself I need help because I feel pretty much every day anxious about something, burst into tears, can't stop obsessively thinking about bad things and make them worse than they really are and once even had a panic attack. After that one time I haven't gotten any panic attacks but I've felt hints of it. I've trouble leaving my house because of my anxiousness and haven't been out with friends for at least half a year and every time I think about it I start feeling so bad mentally, scared even. So yeah, finally asking for help and I've started to accept this all.
thank you for sharing Ruby, it's so important to not stigmatise mental health, and to speak about experiences in order to help others feel they are not alone xxx
I have OCD concerning contamination and fear of germs. I've been dealing with it for about eight years now. Sometimes it's manageable, and sometimes it's completely unbearable. Lots of mental illnesses work in cycles. Mine certainly seems to. The current situation in the world initially wasn't a bother for my OCD. In fact, I was happy that other people were washing there hands more. I thought it was funny that people would cover their hands to open doors, because that's one of my compulsions. But it's been going on so long now that I have moments when I'm more aware of germs and cross-contamination. Mental health is weird. It doesn't necessarily get easier, you just learn to understand yourself more, and then you find ways to cope. Personally I don't trust psychology professionals. But to be fair, my last counsellor told me I have trust issues. She was probably right. Doesn't mean I want to go back there though. Haha. But yeah, mental health can be difficult to deal with, and everyone has their own way to manage it. As a side note, I just finished reading The Shock of the Fall which is about grief and schizophrenia. I found it really interesting. It was written by a mental health nurse. I usually find stories about mental health to be kind of negative about mental illnesses. But this one was good. :)
I had quite a rough episode of bad mental health that really impacted my results and hearing you talk about not beating yourself up about results because it was all you could do at the time really put my mind more at rest. Thanks 😊
It is amazing that you are being really open and vulnerable when it comes to your mental health journey at this time of crisis, thank you for that one x :) as someone who got a real kick of panic attack on the first week of quarantine and some smaller kicks up until this moment, I just want to say this video helps me a lot! plus, to read the comment section that is somewhat funny and heartwarming is great :) I am about to start my master course on August and it is just haunting me that I only have 2 years of the course, not like the bachelor degree that lasted for 4 years, to really understand everything and write a thesis. With this crisis I am MORE afraid that we would have to start the whole thing online and I know it by heart that I am not that great with online class so I have been really panicking over that and the whole deal with protecting myself and others from the virus. it is a lot but I think what help me the most is to live it day by day and never forget to be grateful for little things. But I also want to give credit to your family, it was SO amazing to hear that your mum was the first to get you a therapist which left the sense that your family have been very supportive about you getting help :) I am grateful for you! And to everyone reading this, hold on beautiful :) it is gonna pass, it is going to get better. Always remember that you are doing great! it is okay to feel a bit lazy or living a day or two with zero motivation to work, take it slow and love yourself :)
As someone who worked in mental health for years, the good news is what you have described is fairly mild and normal in terms of mental health issues. The panic attacks werent mental health related, more a normal response to unwanted stress. The tiggers were clear. It was actually a good idea not to withdraw after them as that cant set up a situation whereby everytime you go back to the place you had one, it triggers another setting up an avoidance cycle. One thing to note is that caffiene is strongly linked to panic attacks. So if you are prone then thats a consideration. So much so that therapists see high caffiene drinks as anxiety in a can. In terms of obsessive traits, they can either be part of your overall personality make up, or they can surface during stress with the coping mechanisms helping reduce the anxiety. The bonus of having a certain level of obsessiveness is it can be associated with success, but also perfectionism which isnt as good. Again theres nothing in the video which sounded worrying. As far as CAMHS goes, they usually have a very high threshold for seeing kids which is why most are never taken on by them and many services wouldn't have flagged these issues as being too concerning.
It's a little stupid but I get REALLY anxious at night, I sort of have anxiety about dying. I have no reason whatsoever to worry about this but I have bad anxiety and I worry about random sensations such as a twinge in my ear and I wonder about if thats cancer. I remember just last night feeling nauseous and then not being able to breathe because of anxiety. I also have compulsive tendencies as well. Thank you for the motivation and your openness about mental health. SO IMPORTANT. Books can also set me off as well. Love you!!! you are a star!!!!!
Thank you for being so honest - it can be such a vulnerable thing to discuss - you're very brave for opening up, and hopefully others will be encouraged to do so xxxx
Thank you so much for posting this video, it's great to see influential people talking about this. I found your ideas about labels really interesting. I think one problem with rejecting labels is that they're a very useful way for people to access support. For example, a person with a severe depressive condition IS different from a 'normal' person psychologically, and even though they both deserve psychological support, the former will probably need more resources. From personal experience, I know that it can be very hard to be taken seriously as a person with mental health conditions, and having a diagnosis does help with that. That being said, I think I understand your perspective, and I really respect it + think it has a lot to offer. Your ideas about workplace therapy are really great. The only problem I can see logistically is with small businesses. Maybe businesses with 50+ employees have to comply with these regulations and then people working in smaller businesses are also able to access NHS resources? I do think it's a great idea though - as you say I think it would work logistically for the most part and it's such a shame that it probably won't ever happen! I wish you so much luck with your own mental health journey, from watching your videos it feels like you've come so far, and I really respect that. I think you're going to do great things. Keep growing (+ looking after yourself) x
When i get panic attack, I have listened to Surah Duha which helps me relieving my stress. The point is you need to find your own way to overcome your fear either by watching/reading or listening to other.
This video really just felt like a nice, comforting hug :) I've been in a really bad place mentally for the last month or so, and this made me feel a lot better. Thank you for opening up about your experiences! Love your videos xx
I'm currently studying a Mental Health course and you making this video and sharing your own experiences honestly makes such a difference in combating stigma. Thank you💚
Ruby, you mean so much to me. So proud of you for posting this 💛
She's so precious! 🥺💞 I'm very happy she spoke about it! We need to normalize speaking on this topic 💕
@@evaxmila I agree. Mental Health is still a stigma in my country and not enough help is available 😔😔
@@affanshikoh5069 Where are you from?
Awwww
@@affanshikoh5069me too
Everyone else: kitty collar
Me: is there an owl hanging from the ceiling???
yes yes there is!
İt's hedwiiiigg😂💕
😂😂
@@RubyGranger8 What career are you gonna go into
friendly reminder: there's no such thing as having a logical conversation with your anxiety. If you're feeling frustrated or silly because you feel anxious or have panic attacks for 'stupid' reasons, they're not stupid. There aren't any things you 'should' or 'shouldn't' feel anxious about.
Aw Ruby liked and then I edited a typo 😅 come back Ruby!
Thank you
I am crying while typing this. There are many "mental health" chats on youtube but most people don't open up like you have. As someone who has many issues I salute you for your bravery. This video felt like a hug.
For someone like you who’s constantly perceived as “productive”, I’m really happy that you’re shedding light on the reality of mental health. Excited to hear your meaningful insights, always looked up to you as a role model. Love you, Ruby!💕
if you see someone who seems to be in distress , if they’re alone then lightly , very gently ask them if they’re okay and try to calm them down , if they’re already with someone , KEEP ON MOVING PLEASE DONT EVEN LOOK AT THEM IT WILL MAKE IT WORSE JUST GO THEYRE BEING LOOKED AFTER
Sometimes I wish I was strong and stable enough to talk to someone who is feeling anxious or depressed and tell him/her everything is going to be okay...but first I have to work with my own depression and anxiety, because that words only make me feel sick because I know I'm not okay... But someday I believe I will be able to do It and I will be so happy to help others
I did great in the first semester, and then when Corona occured I was really depressed. Wouldn't study, wasn't motivated and kept keeping up with the news. I came around, but I still have so many restrictions in order not to catch the flu as it was dangerous for my sick brother to get it... I just want to pull through right now. And be outdoors as much as possible. Ruby you helped loads. I'm glad I found you on YT (it's been a year now). You genuinely help me go through with my studying 🤗
Trust me you are amazing
Could you share what you did to come around? I'm pretty much in the same situation, only an year ahead. Did great in the first 3 semesters, Corona happened and now I've no idea what's happened and how.
What u studying?
i was in a similar situation. last fall i took a break from college bc of health reasons (i have generalized anxiety disorder, gastritis, and at the time i also had lyme disease). i got the rest i needed and when i returned to school for spring 2020 semester i was doing better than ever with my grades and with how happy i felt. once we switched to online i regressed in mental health and the classes i was getting A's in before were dropping to C's and D's. i ended up having to drop half my classes. i was just so depressed trying to work at home. like i could never fully motivate myself and i also could never fully relax. but i got through the classes i stayed in. i wish i had some helpful tips but all i can really say is that you're not alone in this. be gentle to yourself and be proud of the little things. if all you do today is survive and stay home to keep others safe, you should feel accomplished. if all you do the next few months is survive, that's okay. i dont think any employer is going to judge someone for having incompletes or lower grades during a pandemic bc we all suffered through it. i hope something in this ramble was helpful and i hope you all stay safe, healthy, and happy ❤️❤️
@@SoumilSahu well the first step for me was to stop being so harsh on myself and understand I'm not under normal circumstamces. So I relaxed and found new hobbies and new things to learn. Them Ruby spoke about how I should ask myself why I study what I study, what is my goal -- and my motivation started crawling back, little by little. I eventually got tired of tv shows and wanted better accomplisments. Also, if you like writting by hand - study at least by doing that. I studied very little every few days but at least I did some of the work by writing down notes and thoughts. Try anything and dont give up 😊😊😊
i struggle with depression and ever since i found your channel you have motivated me to be organized and i spent the whole day cleaning my room to your videos and it gave me so much motivation.
i love u so much ruby and mental health is ever so important and im so proud of you for coming out about this
I have 4 anxiety disorders, major depression, ocd and bpd. I’m not ashamed 💕
Cherry Cola yes. I’m 22. I was diagnosed with depression at 14, my anxiety disorders at 16, my bpd at 18 and my ocd recently at 22.
@Cherry Cola You don't really need to be so called officially diagnosed...I mean I haven't since, if I do I might have just ruined my career and future...since, mental heath is stigmatized...especially where I am from...I suffer depression and panic attack. I just treat myself without any medication and occasionally visit my therapist secretly.....
You need not be deary you're special and you're amazing!😊
Jemma G how did u get better
Just Kosrat I didn’t lol
“If I’m having a bad mental health day, don’t go on social media” damn I need to write that one down!🖊
I put off watching this for a little while just because I knew it would affect me- I'm currently in year 12 and I've struggled with perfectionism and similar issues with compulsions alongside regular panic attacks (more frequently in year 11, at one point I was having 2-3 a week).
Ruby, it meant so much to me to hear you talk about mental health, in this video and the wooden spoon podcast. in y9-11 I almost much idolised the version of yourself that you showed in your 15 hour study days, when it wasn't healthy for me to be studying for so long. it's helped me so much to see you discuss how that has changed and it's helped me accept myself and work towards a more healthy mindset- you've inspired me so much, especially this year.
Your mention of mental health before an exam and underperforming brought me to tears, I have year 12 PPE's in a fortnight, and for the first time, I think I'm actually facing the fact that I will not be in a well enough state to get the grades that I'm capable of, which is quite distressing for me as I'm very much a perfectionist when it comes to my academic performance. I'm going to try my best to accept that I'm working as hard as I can in these circumstances. :)
A therapist you can really connect to is truly a wonderful lifesaver
I've been feeling so unmotivated lately. I can't bring myself to do my work for online school, and then as it piles up and I fall behind I get even more overwhelmed. Thank you for sharing, talking about mental health is really important.
Hi Mazie, I'm not Ruby, but your comment caught my eye. I've struggled with feeling unmotivated and those feelings of feeling overwhelmed. I also know how difficult online school can be. Please remember you can do the work. You are capable and you are loved. Try breaking one task into smaller tasks, even if its just turning on the computer or tablet and logging in. Do you like lists? Make a list of all the smaller tasks you need to do and crossing off each one might help ease that overwhelmed feeling. Remember you are not alone. These are unusual times and we have to adjust constantly in an uncertain world. Reach out if you need to vent or rant or just need some homework help.
Thank you so much. You literally are one of the reasons I'm now motivated. 😸
Take care.
I never comment on TH-cam videos, but I want you to know how genuinely comforting this was to hear. In school I was always seen as the girl who had her life together and her whole future figured out, which was very isolating because I do struggle with anxiety. No one is perfect, and it's so important that we keep that in mind, especially in the age of social media!
I think personally mental issues don't always have to be connected to clinical issues. I would say I am a very positive person, but inside I am very depressed especially during quarantine, but I don't think I necessary have clinical depression. Mental health is the most important thing in our lives, and thank you for sharing your experience.
Is it weird that I can't stop staring at the cat around her neck 😂
A little bit 😂
@Lara Theumatt bc the cat is starving, the cat wants food, no not that nasty dry food, the good food, no you didnt just feed me 15 min ago, no you did not, you absolutely have not fed me in days... weeks... forever... do you see any delicious wet food in that food bowl? Me neither ... and you never fed me today, nope, I am wasting awayyyy... why why why are you letting me starve....meow meow MEOWWWWW
@@citigirlmichebudgets3357 my cat XD
I'm autistic, I have anxiety and I've had depression. I think it's important for people to let others be open about what you're going through. When I was at my worst, I always felt alone.
It was really nice to hear you talk about therapy at the start, because my experience with therapy has been quite similar and I think a lot of people underestimate how hard it is to firstly accept the help you're getting, and secondly finding a therapist you really bond with. I've had three counsellors, the first was the school nurse at my secondary school, who made things a lot worse for me and I really hated talking with her because she invalidated everything I said and treated me like I was stupid. The second therapist I had one session with privately and she only wanted to talk about my family dynamic and nothing else, and at the time that was a hugely sore subject. I'm currently half way through a course with a college therapist and he's amazing, my mental health is so much better since seeing him and he's definitely the right guy for me - I've really never felt better, in all honesty. I have major depression, general anxiety disorder and have had panic disorder in the past, and nobody took me seriously until I tried to end my life when I was 15, and even then CAHMS wouldn't come to see me in hospital so I left and vowed I'd never seek recovery again because that experience taught me that nobody cared enough to try and keep me alive. I'd never had anyone validate my experiences, the trauma I'd been through and the illnesses I clearly had, so finding my current therapist who immediately sat me down and said 'you are sick, you need help, you aren't making this up' was so validating that I started crying. I turn 18 very soon and I've had mental health issues since I was 12, and I really do think attention to the wellbeing of young teenagers is so important. I don't think I would've been nearly as s*icidal at the times I have been if that school nurse paid attention to what I was saying rather than just telling me it was hormones and I wanted attention - it can and does save lives. This is a really raw subject for me but since therapy has unburdened me of all the baggage I was holding onto I wanted to write this out in case anyone reads it - you are capable and deserving of recovery. You are not doing this for attention, you aren't exaggerating or making it up, you are valid and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Please, allow yourself to seek recovery because you are so worth it, even if you feel insignificant, there are so many people who love you and want you to be the happiest you can be. If nothing else, I believe in you.
I’m so happy that your college therapist is supporting you now and I agree with you totally early intervention is so key!
As someone with three different mental illnesses I don’t have a issue with the “labels”. Diagnosis is important for treatment. You do need to to know what your dealing with to be able to treat it.
Same. I was diagnosed with ASD when i was 12, and for a while we queried ADHD. But my mum was uncomfortable with all the labels, so i wasnt followed up with an assessment for ADHD. I dont mind the labels, if it means i get the help i need.
Pam Rizzo 100% agree. Also the relief in knowing you have something that is medically identified is amazing.
I agree, the amount of relief I felt when I was finally diagnosed was a form of treatment itself. I understand the other viewpoint, that all symptoms are a spectrum and all people fall someplace on that spectrum. I think that idea is favoured by people who struggle occassionally with their mental health but aren't necessarily suffering from mental illness, for example feeling depressed and having major depressive disorder are two very different things. As a psych student, it's also important to have diagnoses so we can engage effectively in research. It's difficult to measure 'how many people suffer from x' or 'what's the best treatment for y' if we don't have a definite understand of what x and y actually are. This goes doubly for diagnoses which have an identifiable cause (think PTSD, DID, etc).
Me too. I was diagnosed with a serious mental illness two days ago, so from now on I can access treatment and my pain is taken seriously. Diagnoses can be so important.
Same, I think you could combine the spectrum view ruby has with distinct disorders too.
I think in terms of labels you can really have two types of situations. On the one hand, I do agree that a spectrum and less “trying to fit this into a box” would benefit all of us, on the other hand there is the promise of a diagnosis that explains what exactly is going on with you. As someone who struggles with diagnosed depression and social anxiety disorder getting a diagnosis has helped me so so so much. I was questioning my mental health because I had been really bad in the past, and so when I got “better” (but not well) I was questioning whether I had issues in the first place - and being told that my issues and struggles were valid and that there was a word for it, that it wasn’t just “oh this is life, being this unhappy” was so helpful. Similarly with my social anxiety, i used to tell people “oh i’m really anxious about speaking to people and eating in front of people and generally doing anything” and they usually responded with “oh me too i hate presentations too” and I thought that my struggles were normal and me complaining/venting about them was attention seeking and asking for help with them was rude and inconsiderate until I got that diagnosis. That’s usually what convinces people otherwise, it distinguished between normal struggles and struggles severely impacting day to day life. And personally I have benefitted from these diagnosis.... I think there are two sides of things.
I had quite a similar experience to you in your first therapy session(s) in a way: I had a 6 week "trial" with a therapist in year 8- my mum is a psychologist so she knew some people. Honestly, I was really open to it, because I felt miserable. I found it really unhelpful, though, and she was extremely patronising, which just made the whole experience another chore. It also, ironically, made me even more anxious, and i felt like i couldn't be honest because she would tell my parents a lot. I would really like to have a therapist now, this wasn't super long ago, but the problem is largely the money. I really admire you for sharing this, and I'm so glad that I've found someone who has had similar experiences to me. This is really brave, well done and thank you so much!
I'm not sure where you live and I'm not sure if your still looking for therapist but I would highly recommend MIND it really helped me and it was all free on the NHS 🙂
Who on earth would bully a lovely beautiful girl like you ???
Honey i wish you all the happiness and success this world could offer.
So glad you’re uploading this. I’m having a rubbish day and honestly just need a hug lol
Virtual hug for you darling ✨🌹
im giving you a hug through the screen, all my love xx
Here I'll give u a hug 🤗
Sending you a hug and much support🤗
Sending you a hug lovely ❤️❤️
Ruby thank you so much for being the open and honest TH-camr that you are. I aspire to be half as great of a content creator as you are 😊
Aye, I just saw your comment on captain Sinbad's productivity TH-camr video. Haha so much love and light.
İ'm a psychology student and i have seen so many people in bad conditions. One thing that i can say is asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of. There will always be someone to help you. Proud of you ruby💕
You're so real in this video. So human. Vulnerable, strong and open. Thank you for talking about these issues and topics in such an educated, smart yet casual way! It feels like you got a bit nervous about opening up about your personal experience but I think it really makes viewers connect and feel seen more easily. All in all, it's a great video! You're amazing.
As someone who has a brother with Asperger's and untreatable depression and someone who has nighttime panic attacks and sleep paralysis nightmares I really appreciate you being willing to talk about these things. The academia media rarely discusses the rampant mental health problems caused by it and often portray very unhealthy behaviors regarding school
Panic attacks are so scary. I have them fairly regularly. Once I had to go home because I was genuinely scared of being stalked home by people who had stalked me earlier in the day. Great that you are able to share your own experiences.
As a psych major I’m really glad you made a video on this :)
you have a unique way of putting things into perspective
I reckon this pandemic's going to open up a whole pandora's box of issues for years and maybe even a generation or two to come, with issues like hand-washing, contamination, social anxiety, agoraphobia etc.
I have hypochondria and the pandemic is hell for my mental health
Congratulations! You are correct!!! 🎉🎉🎉
Okay, but can we talk about how cute her shirt is?😍
Very interesting especially right now. Especially what you said about labeling placing a lack of empathy. I’m fully vax’d but I’m disgusted by the term anti vaxers. People making private decisions about their own bodies should not be dehumanized because you don’t agree with their decision and watching this has helped me to realize exactly how much that is happening right now. Fabulous video. Much love ! ❤️
I have seen this video pop-up so many times and I have always been afraid to watch it as I was worried that it would be triggering hearing someone talking about mental health. Why did I worry? Ruby, you delivered that video in such a sensitive way, it was a comfort. I have severe OCD and often feel quite ostracised but inaccurate representations of OCD in the media and it was wonderful to hear some speak about their experience in such an honest and non-glamorised way. Thank you 💖
Thank you for this! I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder when I was 7, so it's always been part of my life, but in the last 5 or so years there's been so much change in regard to how mental illness is spoken about that it's become so much less stigmatized. I've loved seeing that change and how it's positively impacted people and I'm glad you're contributing :)
Thank you so much for being so honest. I really often thought about how you deal with mental health because saw so much perfection in you. I am amazed how you deal with it and how positive you stay. You are a strong woman! You inspire so many people out there every day. Thank you so much!
Thank you for talking about your experience with panic attacks, people speaking out about them make me feel less alone
So happy that someone really had the courage to talk so openly about that. Thank you, Ruby! You are an inspiration for all of us, not just for me, as i see from the comments. I struggle with anxiety since a year ago. It was really hard realising that I have it, realising that I need to go see a therapist. I had a huge panic attack which lead me to faint and that was the time when I found out. Been struggling with that since then and to be really honest I am not in a very good state of mind but I learned that life doesn’t mean just bad days and paintful experiences. Now I can’t believe that I am preparing to be a therapist. I would have laughed so hard if someone would have told that little girl from years ago who wanted nothing but to be on big stages acting that she would want to become a therapist. So for everyone who needs this: Life is full of paintful experiences, awful people who will hurt you but the power is in your hands. You may not think like that but you are strong enough to overcome your fears, your insecurities and don’t forget, good days are coming. Don’t give up after a bad day or more bad days, or even an awful year or more years. If you get here, thank you for reading all of this, I felt like I needed to share my experience here. With love, a girl who didn’t gave up
Hi Ruby, it's so good to know that I am not the only one who found staying home by myself terrifying, this makes me feel so much less alone, thank you for sharing this! :)
The first few times my father had panic attacks, he thought he was dying. So I am glad more people know what panic attacks can feel like so if it happens to them for the first time hopefully they know what it is. Anxiety and panic attacks are very scary but it won't last forever and you'll be okay.
I really felt scared today when I had an interview for my undergraduate course admission. I was so tensed and nervous that I answered a few questions wrong. Then I realized that I would never get into any college for that matter. I thought if I cry about it I will be fine. But I can't even make muself cry.
When this video came on my recommendation I waz relieved to be honest. Thank you Ruby. You have been this support to me and to millions out there. During these times I come here, to your channel looking for positivity.
Radha Mn you can get into almost any college to do almost anything and if you were tensed and nervous then it shows the place wasn’t/isn’t right for you especially as it’s undergraduate I feel as though you are expected to get stuff wrong and they guide you to the answers. I know this probably won’t help you out. But having faith and trust that things will go well. Is really helpful. I hope you have nice days. Life is and never will be a race😌😊
For anyone out there struggling, there is hope and help. I had severe OCD and had to be hospitalized. With therapy, medication, honesty, vulnerability, and time, I’ve gotten so much better. I’m happier than I have ever been ❤️
It makes me really happy to hear this!! i’m studying psychology and counselling at university. This comment has made my night 💕
Gabi Z you will make such a difference!! My therapist and psychiatrist have completely changed my life. I am so thankful
I agree with you about labelling individuals with mental health disorders! It creates a self-fulfilling prophecy in that they have to live up to those labels which could make their mental health worse! Thank you so much for speaking out about your own mental health! If more people speak out about their struggles, hopefully mental health will become less stigmatised.
Maybe but I think labels also allow you to have the language to describe and legitimise how you are feeling. If you have they label in all likelihood your symptoms were sever enough to warrant it because most professionals don’t take diagnosing someone lightly. There’s nothing to live up to because you are already ill. There is not self fulfilling prophecy because you fulfilled it even before you received the label. You just probably didn’t realise just how and things were until then
Hey Ruby, I didn't do well at school because I had some family alcoholism issues at home and wish, wish, WISH I'd told someone at the time - I told nobody! I'm 30 years old now and even though you're younger than me, your productivity and calm manner is inspirational and helpful even now since these past problems still affect me. There will be young people who are going through problems like I did, and you will be making a great difference to their lives - helping them focus and do the best for themselves - thanks for being you and for your honesty x
You have a very compassionate voice and input on mental health. I agree that labels segregate and they can cause one to feel even more isolated. As someone who has had OCD and Panic attacks i know that it is so important to take care of ourselves and to practice self love...Allowing for ourselves not to try to reach Perfection but rather to see ourselves always as "works in progress". This is so much kinder and so much more Freeing...After all, what we see as errors or mistakes are simply learning tools on our way towards Growth...Thank you for this heart felt and compassionate video...
As someone who nearly lost her battle with mental health a few months ago this video is so so relieving to watch, knowing that even if it appears online that someone is okay, they might not be and it feels so much less lonely for me. I sometimes forget that what you see online isn’t always how it is in real life. Thank you for making this video, Ruby. It has been so nice to listen to you talk about this sort of thing & use your platform for such important things! 💛
Thank you so much for this video Ruby ! I am a very anxious person and it can't be really hard to deal with sometimes. It feels good to see that I am not alone. Everyone should be open about mental health without feeling ashamed or anything. Love from France ! ♥
Honestly talking about the difficulties is one of the most confident thing one suffering from any mental health problems could do. I am so thankful for this, Ruby.
You literally described panic attacks so perfectly, I have the same thing where I can't breathe. Kudos for talking about it so openly.
Hi Ruby thank you so much for sharing your very difficult experiences. I am a mental health nurse and so appreciate your discussions around the need for better mental health support and psychology and I love your suggestions. Keep being your gorgeous self. I really love watching your journey and have teenage daughters who I am always trying to reassure about the future and that their grades are not the be all and end all. Xx
a reality check on mental health is so refreshing💜
Thank you so much for furthering the discussion of mental health and adding your own opinions on topics. Personally I found it so beneficial to hear you talk about your experiences with therapy and also with panic attacks and feeling overly anxious. I have anxiety myself so panic attacks are no stranger to me. After having one, especially when at school, I can’t help but feel embarrassed. I felt as though everyone was watching me. I hated it. I’ve slowly began to accept it is not something to be embarrassed about, and since you are somebody whom I look up to so much I really love how openly you spoke about your feelings before and after the attacks you’ve had previously. Thank you so much for creating this video, and shedding light on the issues there are in the world of mental health and things related. Xx
This is really well worded. What I like in particular is that you have mentioned the problems but also the solution! A proposition for a solution shows that you have an open mindset and want get better and help others get better. Inspiring!
Thank you, I deal with very similar things (major depression, anxiety disorder + ocd tendencies) and it always kills me when it interferes with my academics. I really appreciate your openness, and it was definitely very comforting to hear. It’s a reminder that I can pull through it and be productive when it happens, but if I just need to take a step back I shouldn’t beat myself up over it, either.
This is really weird but whenever I talk about panic attacks and mental health with people, I feel even more anxious than I usually do, and then suddenly get the symptoms of a panic attack. It’s horrible
I experience somehting simoliar. I have autism, and whenever i talk about it, whether that be with my Occupational therapist, or cognitive behaviour therapist or even just family memeber, i begin to fidget and twitch, and my senses heighten (the sympotms of my autistic meltdowns). Sometimes it even builds up into a fullblown meltdown. I think its because when we talk about something we're bringing it to the forefront of our mind, and focussing on it. Its like if someone points out that youve got a bruise on your arm, it suddenly starts hurting, because noe youre focussed on it, and you notice the pain, amplifying it.
These are just guesses, but i think they make sense. Also, youre not weird, and youre not alone in this 💙
Thank you so much for talking about this!! Mental health is such an important topic to discuss and it truly makes me feel better knowing that there are people willing to talk about it.
Also, the collar on your shirt is absolutely adorable!!!
I watched this to calm myself down. I had some personal stresses in the past few days and today, I watched something really upsetting that completely thew me of my balance again... So thank you for giving me a sense of comfort.
Thank you for being so open. I think, many people still struggle with admitting, they would profit from therapy, including myself, but I overcame my pride after years and start therapy this week. Because it's not a sign of weakness and I am not "giving in" to my bullies, when I admit their actions damaged me to a point that I am over five years later still struggling because of it.
I have clinically-diagnosed OCD and have definitely felt a kindred spirit to you, your struggles, and habits. Thanks so much for sharing :) It really does mean a lot to see obsessive compulsive tendencies portrayed on social media.
I’m really glad you have made this video, mental health is something we really need to talk about especially with the pandemic going on and it’s important for people to open up but because of the stigma and romanticisation of mental illness it’s harder for people to open up about these things because people don’t want others to think they are being attention seekers, also I think it’s rather brave of you to talk about your own experiences
Thank you for posting this Ruby. I love your openness and honesty about your own mental health path. My eldest struggles with his mental health which is complicated by ASD and attending a high demand single sex grammar school (Note: He chose it himself and loves it. It was not something put on him. I would NEVER make those choices for either of them). This has been especially the case this academic year and I CANNOT say how proud of both children I am for coming together as a family to support and encourage him to receive the best treatment modalities for him, which have been, overall, positive. I think hearing more young people like him (perfectionistic at times and over critical of himself at times too) say and express their own struggles and letting him know he is not alone helps a great deal! He is here with me now and listened to every word you said. Thank you.
I can so relate to this, I really struggled with panic attacks since year 9 as well and I had so many it became unhealthy. It’s affected me in my confidence and people have made fun of me thinking I was ‘faking it’. It feels so humiliating having a panic attack in front of everyone. Today actually I got my results and they were overall positive but I overthink and for some reason I think the feedback is not real and that I’m not good enough. Idk if anyone can relate to this. People say also that you seem confident and happy when it’s mainly my skills that I lack confidence even tho I get told I’m semi decent. Well done for making this x
I'm living for your room, it's so peaceful.
School and grades stressed me out so much that I burned myself out. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety disorder and panic attack disorder and had to take 3 gap years in a row before I was well enough to start university. Thank you for shedding light on mental health in relation to education ❤️
its so nice that she talked about ocd as i have struggled with it grately and it got to the point where i wouldn't speak and just count to four instead-contstantly. it really makes me feel not alone! thanks so much!
Darling Ruby. You are so brave to put this out there and being real. I am older then your mom probably, yet I feel i learn so much from you.
Thank you. I needed that. I struggle with depression, I am in therapy but is sooo valuable to hear things like that from a young person who is also studying.
Ruby, thank you so much for posting this. Your story is so similar to mine - I first went to therapy in year 10 for anxiety. I was so stressed and panicked about GCSEs, had social anxiety and based all of my self worth on exam results. I had panic attacks before most of my GCSEs.
I finished year 13 recently and I’m now in so much of a better place! It’s still not easy, I still obsess over grades more than I should and get anxious but going through cbt and taking medication has really helped. I got through my last set of exams without panic attacks and am now so so much happier!
Thank you for talking about this! It’s so devastating that the CAMHS waiting list for a therapist in my area is 12 months, I’ve been let go from mental health services because they cannot see the point in waiting so long for help to come. However, things will always get better, the sun will shine again and happiness will come. Stay safe everyone
When doing my GCSE’s I used to get stressed to the point of throwing up. I think it was exacerbated by my nana dying and a break up straight before them. I came out with good grades, but I look back and I was so ill. I lost nearly two stone and literally sobbed every night. Looking back, I should have been more open and sought help. This video is amazing, you should be very proud of yourself ❤️
Ruby, I used to be in exactly the same situation as you. Toxic all-consuming perfectionism that left me depressed and burnt out and hating myself if I was anything less than the top of the top. I had no real world experience, I was a very sheltered child with strict parents that didn't let me do anything BUT study, so it was where I got all my validation and love and self worth from. I was nothing if I didn't have grades. I didn't realise how much it was sucking my soul out of my body. I didn't realise that there was so much more to life than school. I struggled for 5 years because I kept holding on to this ideal that I was taught and I was just holding on to it so hard when the world wanted to shake it out of me. That was not my path. I was meant to do well at school but to not get my self worth from it, and the Universe made sure I let go of that habit and learned to do better. Life is always happening for you, not to you. You grew. You learned. You got stronger. And that's the point of life. I am so much more positive and happy, and its a feat because I have Negative Nancy for a mother. I truly consider it the achievement of my life to have grown and shed all the nonsense I was taught and finding my own path and my own way. You suffered, you learned, and now you are using your platform to hep others. That shows that you have come full circle, even if you struggle with it from time to time. Be proud!
I'm watching and re-watching this video just now because I needed something like this after my father's death. I'm struggling a lot with bad thoughts, sleeping issues and some health issues, but this video helps me a lot with overcoming my fears of living and I just had a really good night sleep, thanks to you. I hope people in Russia and all around the world will be more open about mental health because sometimes it's really important to see that's your problems don't mean that you're a bad person and that others also have bad days/weeks/months sometimes.
What a lovely video! Thanks so much for opening up about your mental health like this, as someone who struggles with obsessive-compulsive tendencies myself i found it really helpful. One thing I want to add is that there's actually a lot of new research in neuroscience to back up what you said about mental health being a spectrum. I'll leave a link to this one paper in particular but in short it's about this network of different brain areas called the default-mode-network (DMN). The DMN is the part of our brains that basically helps us to function efficiently in everyday situations and ensures our survival, but in order to do that it has a suppressive influence on pretty much all other parts of the brain. It's the filter that determines what information enters consciousness and it's also the seat of the ego. The paper proposes that high DMN activity is linked to anxiety, OCD and eating disorders while low DMN activity is linked to depression. It provides some really fascinating insight into the neural correlates of mental health so maybe give it a read if you're interested (figure seven *spectrum of cognitive states* in particular describes just what you were talking about. (The entropic brain - Carhart-Harris/Leech www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2014.00020/full)
So incredible that you were able to share this! I agree with your points especially for mental health services being accessible to all - I know I struggle to talk about my own problems with my mental health, in the society we live in it can be difficult to share experiences. As well as that, I wish people would see “mental health” as a positive thing - we see “physical health” as a good thing. We all have both mental and physical health, as well encountering issues in both of these areas, which we all need a bit of help with from time to time. Great video as always Ruby, thank you!
Thank you, Ruby, for that video. I feel really depressed after psychiatric hospital, but this helped me a little. I feel like I’m not alone
I hope you are ok 💗
I hope your doing well!💞
Hi Ruby! As soon as I saw your instagram story post, I've been really excited for this video because I think people on this platform censor the negatives and only show the positives, and I think videos like these encourage people to be more open and less hesitant when discussing mental health. So thank you for this, it's helped alot of people including myself!
Hi Ruby. I've really enjoyed this video. I was diagnosed at the age of 16 with a learning disability and since last year i've decided to be more open about it, and about mental health. Hearing other people talking about their own experiences with mental health, really helps. Thank you.
Ruby, you're the best TH-camr in this world! I love you♡
Can't agree more👍
you talking about being home alone spoke to me. I’m 25 and my anxiety around being home alone and especially at night is overwhelming. Thank you.
Thank you for being so candid! I don’t really talk about myself much but I feel openness is important.
My mental health has been on the floor since... well, before living memory, but it came to a head from Year 12 onwards. I taught myself a fifth A level in a year to try to show that I was the best (not bragging - it was a HORRIBLE and impulsive idea) because I was such a maladaptive perfectionist with massive diagnosed depression and anxiety. I had an obsession with having to be perfect and better than everyone else. Studying was also a distraction from the rapid (and sudden) decline and death of my beloved grandmother from cancer and my rejection from Cambridge shortly thereafter. I expected myself to get 5A*s, and pressure from my teachers and my peers was immense. I cried in my teachers’ offices on the regular, and I never got access to therapy. I got A*AAAA in the end, and was distraught on results day - but people just assumed I was an ungrateful brat from my rather visceral reaction. (It probably did come across as such, to be fair.) Nobody realised how ill I was.
I am now recovering well. I am a student at the University of Birmingham, I’ve made good friends and am enjoying myself for the first time in a long time. I am proud of my results and my current path, and I am proud of anyone fighting the same fight. People expect problems less in people with excellent grades, but the suffering is real.
Hey,
Hope you had a nice day!
Take care of yourself and family,
Keep smiling Ruby!
I had seperation anxiety as a kid and I know exactly how you feel. So brave of you to share!
actually, therapy made me worse, but that might because I have a rare developmental disability that affects theright hemisphere of brain ( due to brain damage) and I was misdiagnosed by therapists who didn't pick up this right hemisphere brian damage
Ruby this video means a lot. Thank you for speaking out about such an important topic. Seeing that you, someone with what can be interpreted as a perfect life, speak about such raw problems is so helpful. Personally, it makes me feel less shame around experiencing similar things that you have described, while simultaneously motivating me by showing that with these problems, a productive, positive and successful life can still be lived! All my love ❤️
Thank you for this! I have severe anxiety disorder and get really bad panic attacks, & I am a perfectionist for everything, pictures being straight, cupcake cups being the same color, literally everything, so thanks for shedding some light on it, love the video as always!
I've finally admitted to myself I need help because I feel pretty much every day anxious about something, burst into tears, can't stop obsessively thinking about bad things and make them worse than they really are and once even had a panic attack. After that one time I haven't gotten any panic attacks but I've felt hints of it. I've trouble leaving my house because of my anxiousness and haven't been out with friends for at least half a year and every time I think about it I start feeling so bad mentally, scared even. So yeah, finally asking for help and I've started to accept this all.
I had panic attacks, so I feel very identify with you 💙 keep strong and keep journaling, that helps a lot!
thank you for sharing Ruby, it's so important to not stigmatise mental health, and to speak about experiences in order to help others feel they are not alone xxx
I have OCD concerning contamination and fear of germs. I've been dealing with it for about eight years now. Sometimes it's manageable, and sometimes it's completely unbearable. Lots of mental illnesses work in cycles. Mine certainly seems to.
The current situation in the world initially wasn't a bother for my OCD. In fact, I was happy that other people were washing there hands more. I thought it was funny that people would cover their hands to open doors, because that's one of my compulsions.
But it's been going on so long now that I have moments when I'm more aware of germs and cross-contamination.
Mental health is weird. It doesn't necessarily get easier, you just learn to understand yourself more, and then you find ways to cope.
Personally I don't trust psychology professionals. But to be fair, my last counsellor told me I have trust issues. She was probably right. Doesn't mean I want to go back there though. Haha.
But yeah, mental health can be difficult to deal with, and everyone has their own way to manage it.
As a side note, I just finished reading The Shock of the Fall which is about grief and schizophrenia. I found it really interesting. It was written by a mental health nurse. I usually find stories about mental health to be kind of negative about mental illnesses. But this one was good. :)
I had quite a rough episode of bad mental health that really impacted my results and hearing you talk about not beating yourself up about results because it was all you could do at the time really put my mind more at rest. Thanks 😊
It is amazing that you are being really open and vulnerable when it comes to your mental health journey at this time of crisis, thank you for that one x :) as someone who got a real kick of panic attack on the first week of quarantine and some smaller kicks up until this moment, I just want to say this video helps me a lot! plus, to read the comment section that is somewhat funny and heartwarming is great :) I am about to start my master course on August and it is just haunting me that I only have 2 years of the course, not like the bachelor degree that lasted for 4 years, to really understand everything and write a thesis. With this crisis I am MORE afraid that we would have to start the whole thing online and I know it by heart that I am not that great with online class so I have been really panicking over that and the whole deal with protecting myself and others from the virus. it is a lot but I think what help me the most is to live it day by day and never forget to be grateful for little things.
But I also want to give credit to your family, it was SO amazing to hear that your mum was the first to get you a therapist which left the sense that your family have been very supportive about you getting help :) I am grateful for you! And to everyone reading this, hold on beautiful :) it is gonna pass, it is going to get better. Always remember that you are doing great! it is okay to feel a bit lazy or living a day or two with zero motivation to work, take it slow and love yourself :)
I love listening to you speak, you're so articulate and your ideas are so well thought out and developed.
As someone who worked in mental health for years, the good news is what you have described is fairly mild and normal in terms of mental health issues. The panic attacks werent mental health related, more a normal response to unwanted stress. The tiggers were clear. It was actually a good idea not to withdraw after them as that cant set up a situation whereby everytime you go back to the place you had one, it triggers another setting up an avoidance cycle. One thing to note is that caffiene is strongly linked to panic attacks. So if you are prone then thats a consideration. So much so that therapists see high caffiene drinks as anxiety in a can. In terms of obsessive traits, they can either be part of your overall personality make up, or they can surface during stress with the coping mechanisms helping reduce the anxiety. The bonus of having a certain level of obsessiveness is it can be associated with success, but also perfectionism which isnt as good. Again theres nothing in the video which sounded worrying. As far as CAMHS goes, they usually have a very high threshold for seeing kids which is why most are never taken on by them and many services wouldn't have flagged these issues as being too concerning.
It's a little stupid but I get REALLY anxious at night, I sort of have anxiety about dying. I have no reason whatsoever to worry about this but I have bad anxiety and I worry about random sensations such as a twinge in my ear and I wonder about if thats cancer. I remember just last night feeling nauseous and then not being able to breathe because of anxiety. I also have compulsive tendencies as well. Thank you for the motivation and your openness about mental health. SO IMPORTANT. Books can also set me off as well. Love you!!! you are a star!!!!!
Thank you for being so honest - it can be such a vulnerable thing to discuss - you're very brave for opening up, and hopefully others will be encouraged to do so xxxx
Thank you so much for posting this video, it's great to see influential people talking about this.
I found your ideas about labels really interesting. I think one problem with rejecting labels is that they're a very useful way for people to access support. For example, a person with a severe depressive condition IS different from a 'normal' person psychologically, and even though they both deserve psychological support, the former will probably need more resources. From personal experience, I know that it can be very hard to be taken seriously as a person with mental health conditions, and having a diagnosis does help with that. That being said, I think I understand your perspective, and I really respect it + think it has a lot to offer.
Your ideas about workplace therapy are really great. The only problem I can see logistically is with small businesses. Maybe businesses with 50+ employees have to comply with these regulations and then people working in smaller businesses are also able to access NHS resources? I do think it's a great idea though - as you say I think it would work logistically for the most part and it's such a shame that it probably won't ever happen!
I wish you so much luck with your own mental health journey, from watching your videos it feels like you've come so far, and I really respect that. I think you're going to do great things.
Keep growing (+ looking after yourself)
x
Everyone, at some point and time in their life, would benefit tremendously by talking with a counselor.
When i get panic attack, I have listened to Surah Duha which helps me relieving my stress.
The point is you need to find your own way to overcome your fear either by watching/reading or listening to other.
Surah Duha is SO helpful Alhamdulillah !!
This video really just felt like a nice, comforting hug :) I've been in a really bad place mentally for the last month or so, and this made me feel a lot better. Thank you for opening up about your experiences! Love your videos xx
Thank you Ruby for opening up. It feels nice to see someone around my age talk about mental health.
I'm currently studying a Mental Health course and you making this video and sharing your own experiences honestly makes such a difference in combating stigma. Thank you💚