Join my Coaches Monthly Q&A call here: bit.ly/MonthlyQAsforCoaches My treat! Each Month we will discuss a Coaching Topic that will support your growth. Get access to the past recordings as well and get your free 1 Resource Development CCE for each month! Woot! 💝 You can also access the TH-cam Recordings with and without the Markers here: bit.ly/youtube-mcc-demos
Lyssa it is great to be able to watch your coaching demonstrations. In this video I particularly liked the way you held the space and gave Steve significant time to process your question, which clearly triggered deep thinking for him. You have such a warm supportive style.
This was so helpful. I AM just like this client. I feel I have a triple load to work through: oldest of 6; compassion is my primary energy; and I am a Pisces birth sign. I’m going to do the bookend practices, hands around the heart picture in my office and sticky notes around my home. Will listen to again. Thank you!
I love how other peoples coaching can be so helpful to us. :) Thank you for the comments and I love the image of the hands around the heart picture in your office. My big painting is a heart to me, so I get it. Again, thank you for commenting!
Lyssa, I want to commend you for being so forthcoming and honest about the session and what you could have done better. As someone going for my ACC and subjecting myself to the rigorous ICF standards for the first time, there is always sense of, what if I get something 'wrong'? But then seeing how even a master like you isn't 100% perfect and not afraid to just learn, but share your learning, humanizes you and encourages us that making course corrections is more important than plotting and flying the perfect course. Respect!
I really appreciate hearing this. It's at the core of a Coaching Mindset. I don't think there is anything called perfect coaching, it's the understanding that the imperfection is an opportunity to either learn or think about how we might want to tweak how we hold space. I am a different coach today than I was when I recorded this session, I too am evolving. :)
Lyssa IS THE BEST!!!!! I’m learning so much from these videos! I deeply appreciate the time taken to highlight the competencies shown!! As I progress watching the videos, I like pausing and asking my own question 😃 I have found that often they are what Lyssa asks, though expressed less beautifully by me 😂 THANK YOU!!!!
Thank you Sabina for the lovely comments. I am so happy that the videos are supporting your own self-reflection. I love that you stop and come up with your own choice points. That is fabulous!
Lyssa, thank you for sharing your valuable skills and insight. As I get ready for PCC credentialing your teaching technique has been immensely useful. You bring this all to life!
I think the reason the questions seem customized is that I am not worried about the question and they come directly from what the client is saying. That creates more competencies demonstrating trust/safety, presence, listening, and evoking awareness. It's all about the listening :)
I'm watching this demo as I'm preparing for the exam at the end of the coaching program. This really helps me in integrating challenging questions, that come from a good place and are elegantly formulated. That's what I feel you're doing here Lyssa! I also partially resonate with Steve's dilemma and it's very interesting to see his process on this subject.
You are so welcome! I'm delighted you are finding value in the content. Please reach out anytime with questions and if you have a topic you would like me to cover, please share with me. Thank you so much! Cheers, Lyssa
My fjrst love to coqcbing was health a d life coaching now am living out my new love executive coaching. Been figuring out how they all connect. Lisa thank you for helping figure out how to coach the whole person😮
Yay, coaching the whole person is what it's all about. I have yet to meet an executive who wasn't a whole person. :) I am so glad it's useful for you. Happy Coaching!
I haven't seen the transcript, but there seemed to be many segments where the coach provided more words to the session than the client? There just seemed to be some very wordy contributions from the coach
You got me thinking, I went back to RaeNotes and I spoke 12 minutes and the client spoke 22 minutes. That isn't to say that part of coaching is learning to be more concise. :) I could have probably still spoken less.
@@cadelawler3350@ cadelawler3350 I don't know what the best ratio is; it's not really about the ratio of time speaking, that's 1 data point. Another data point is whether the questions are useful and whether they invite the client to do the work. I have other recordings where the client speaks for 32 minutes, and I speak for 10 minutes. In another, the client speaks for 16 minutes, and I speak for 8... So again, the ratio tells you something, but the questions are more important. Do they invite the client to explore their relationship to the situation, or do they focus the client on the situation? In this recording, questions like 4:24 - What is being that for you and in as you consider that being that for you, do you have any images that show up are ideas that show up about times, maybe where you've been that for you? Wordy, yes, but the important thing is that I am asking the client to notice for himself what shows up from what he shared. A Choice Point (CP): Considering what you just said, what shows up for when you have been that for yourself? Coming up with CPs is how I continue to learn to become more concise in my questions. A less wordy example is 10:17 - What does it mean to love yourself? Again, the importance is that I am asking a question only the client can answer, which comes from what he offered. I hope that helps, and this would be a great video for me to do, so THANK YOU!!!! I love your asking and questioning; it's brilliant, and I love that you are thinking through these ideas.
@@LyssadeHart Thank you for clarifying that point. And thank you for responding to my curiosity with such professionalism. Very helpful. And, yes, it would be a helpful video if you get the chance 😉
I’m really working to get better at getting a clear outcome for my agreements and measures of success. Where would you say you got that part in this conversation? I’m wondering if I think it needs to be more overt than is necessary. Is the shift question it? If so, where do you ask about the meaningful part and what is in the way of success?
Hi @LisaDadd This is a really big question. So I went back to the transcript to see what I noticed. Lyssa: 01:12 What would shift look like if you were to have a shift in that? Client: 01:18 You know, I think about the different groups in the educational space or the training or where I lead teams and the experience that I have is I feel connected, I feel centered, I feel, I guess in the zone in the fully alive and that would be the experience that I want to create for me all the time. That is what the client wants to create the experience of fully alive all the time. Lyssa: 01:47 I love that idea Fully Alive and what when you hear yourself saying the words Fully Alive, What do you notice around this full aliveness that you're aiming towards? This is the exploration of an outcome, we are moving towards fully alive and I am asking specifically what will be the indicators. At this point he shares: I noticed I smile. Yeah. Yeah, I feel excited. I I mean I smile. I feel a sense of I mean I feel that sense of aliveness... If you are looking for a measure, feeling excited, smiling, and feeling a sense of aliveness are all part of a success measure. He will know we got where he wanted to go, if he has access to these things. I reconfirm at 02:58 Yeah. So then in our conversation today, just so I can clear get clarity. Is really this moving from not changing how you express it out to others. But really the shift into expressing it for yourself and having that. So we're moving towards Fully Alive if I'm hearing you correctly? From where you are to fully alive. So as you hear this this this idea of moving from where you are to Fully Alive. Where would be the first place that would be important for us to explore, that might be between where you are and being fully alive? This is an example, a bit wordy, but an example of reconfirming what the client wants to do and the directionality of what he wants to explore, that takes him towards the experience of being Fully Alive. I am not sure if this answers your question, but this is how I see the agreement setting in this conversation. Thank you so much for asking such a great question. :) L
Thank you for sharing this demonstration, it is very valuable to learn from experienced coaches. One question about how you express yourself in the demo: we were taught in training (according to ICF standards) not to use “I” messages. You say at various points things like “I’m curious…”, “I wonder… “ or “How this lands for me is…”. What is your view of this?
Hi Sibylle, Great question. I play with not using "I" sometimes, and other times it seems to be the naturally occurring pattern that I have. One thing that is probably important, and why your coaching school worked on training it out of you, is that the "I" can be used less than usefully. Example: "I wonder why you are choosing to do XYZ?" That question imparts judgment and isn't all that useful since it's also past tense. There are places where the "I" may not matter. Coaches, per Competency 7, 7.5: Coach shares, with no attachment, observations, intuitions, comments, thoughts, or feelings, and invites the client’s exploration through verbal or tonal invitation. So, using the "I" without attachment probably isn't going to negatively impact the client having their own learning. Example: 24:03 "I don't know, I think for me, I'm like, how do you hold like, you know because you had said a minute ago like it's so easy to default to the habit of being thoughtful and thinking and being external. What helps you to resonate with, tether or, I don't know, anchor yourself into this heart space of yours?" While this is not a concise question, the I is not about my "knowing" but about my still being curious and open. All the above being said, I do think that part of my own growth arch is dropping the "I wonder..." and "I'm curious..." and just asking the question. :) Thank you again for such a great question.
Join my Coaches Monthly Q&A call here: bit.ly/MonthlyQAsforCoaches
My treat! Each Month we will discuss a Coaching Topic that will support your growth. Get access to the past recordings as well and get your free 1 Resource Development CCE for each month! Woot! 💝
You can also access the TH-cam Recordings with and without the Markers here: bit.ly/youtube-mcc-demos
Lyssa it is great to be able to watch your coaching demonstrations. In this video I particularly liked the way you held the space and gave Steve significant time to process your question, which clearly triggered deep thinking for him. You have such a warm supportive style.
Thank you :) I really enjoyed him as well. Just a lovely person.
This was so helpful. I AM just like this client. I feel I have a triple load to work through: oldest of 6; compassion is my primary energy; and I am a Pisces birth sign. I’m going to do the bookend practices, hands around the heart picture in my office and sticky notes around my home. Will listen to again. Thank you!
I love how other peoples coaching can be so helpful to us. :) Thank you for the comments and I love the image of the hands around the heart picture in your office. My big painting is a heart to me, so I get it. Again, thank you for commenting!
Lyssa, I want to commend you for being so forthcoming and honest about the session and what you could have done better. As someone going for my ACC and subjecting myself to the rigorous ICF standards for the first time, there is always sense of, what if I get something 'wrong'? But then seeing how even a master like you isn't 100% perfect and not afraid to just learn, but share your learning, humanizes you and encourages us that making course corrections is more important than plotting and flying the perfect course. Respect!
I really appreciate hearing this. It's at the core of a Coaching Mindset. I don't think there is anything called perfect coaching, it's the understanding that the imperfection is an opportunity to either learn or think about how we might want to tweak how we hold space. I am a different coach today than I was when I recorded this session, I too am evolving. :)
Thank you for sharing this demonstration, it is very useful
I am so happy it was useful :) Thank you for the comment!
Lyssa IS THE BEST!!!!! I’m learning so much from these videos! I deeply appreciate the time taken to highlight the competencies shown!! As I progress watching the videos, I like pausing and asking my own question 😃 I have found that often they are what Lyssa asks, though expressed less beautifully by me 😂 THANK YOU!!!!
Thank you Sabina for the lovely comments. I am so happy that the videos are supporting your own self-reflection. I love that you stop and come up with your own choice points. That is fabulous!
Q😊213l
Lyssa, thank you for sharing your valuable skills and insight. As I get ready for PCC credentialing your teaching technique has been immensely useful. You bring this all to life!
Thank you Miles for your comment. I’m glad the videos are serving your growth! 😀
Lyssa, you make it look so easy!
LOL, thank you, and I am always a work in progress. :)
Lyssa the way you customize questions is remarkable.. thanks again for this amazing coaching session. Gratitude !!
I think the reason the questions seem customized is that I am not worried about the question and they come directly from what the client is saying. That creates more competencies demonstrating trust/safety, presence, listening, and evoking awareness. It's all about the listening :)
@@LyssadeHart Agreed !!❤
I'm watching this demo as I'm preparing for the exam at the end of the coaching program. This really helps me in integrating challenging questions, that come from a good place and are elegantly formulated. That's what I feel you're doing here Lyssa!
I also partially resonate with Steve's dilemma and it's very interesting to see his process on this subject.
Wonderful to hear and yes it's interesting that our clients often have dilemma's that resonate with our dilemma's :)
Your videos have been helping me alot for my coaching program.
I am glad to hear that. What has been the most helpful?
Thank you these sessions are so useful 🙏
Yay! I’m glad they are supporting you 😀
Lyssa so grateful, tomorrow I will have my PCC exam, and you help a lot. Thanks so much
Wonderful! Best of luck on the Exam :)
tks Lyssa, I think the worst way is the kind of answers that for a non native will have a lot of nuances. How can I overcame these things?😀
Lyssa, awesome ♥️
TYSM for sharing all these informative videos!
You are so welcome! I'm delighted you are finding value in the content. Please reach out anytime with questions and if you have a topic you would like me to cover, please share with me. Thank you so much! Cheers, Lyssa
My fjrst love to coqcbing was health a d life coaching now am living out my new love executive coaching. Been figuring out how they all connect. Lisa thank you for helping figure out how to coach the whole person😮
Yay, coaching the whole person is what it's all about. I have yet to meet an executive who wasn't a whole person. :) I am so glad it's useful for you. Happy Coaching!
Um, ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT! 🤗🌸💛
Thank you, :)
Lovely work!
Thank you so much! I'm delighted you enjoyed the video. If you ever have any questions, please reach out. Cheers, Lyssa
Great coaching session 👍 Learnt a lot 😊
Awesome. It is serving the intended purpose then :) Thank you for the comment!
I haven't seen the transcript, but there seemed to be many segments where the coach provided more words to the session than the client? There just seemed to be some very wordy contributions from the coach
You got me thinking, I went back to RaeNotes and I spoke 12 minutes and the client spoke 22 minutes. That isn't to say that part of coaching is learning to be more concise. :) I could have probably still spoken less.
@@LyssadeHart Ok. So that's about 35% coach, 65% client. Is that considered to be a good ratio?
@@cadelawler3350@ cadelawler3350 I don't know what the best ratio is; it's not really about the ratio of time speaking, that's 1 data point. Another data point is whether the questions are useful and whether they invite the client to do the work.
I have other recordings where the client speaks for 32 minutes, and I speak for 10 minutes.
In another, the client speaks for 16 minutes, and I speak for 8...
So again, the ratio tells you something, but the questions are more important. Do they invite the client to explore their relationship to the situation, or do they focus the client on the situation?
In this recording, questions like 4:24 - What is being that for you and in as you consider that being that for you, do you have any images that show up are ideas that show up about times, maybe where you've been that for you?
Wordy, yes, but the important thing is that I am asking the client to notice for himself what shows up from what he shared.
A Choice Point (CP): Considering what you just said, what shows up for when you have been that for yourself?
Coming up with CPs is how I continue to learn to become more concise in my questions.
A less wordy example is 10:17 - What does it mean to love yourself?
Again, the importance is that I am asking a question only the client can answer, which comes from what he offered.
I hope that helps, and this would be a great video for me to do, so THANK YOU!!!! I love your asking and questioning; it's brilliant, and I love that you are thinking through these ideas.
@@LyssadeHart Thank you for clarifying that point. And thank you for responding to my curiosity with such professionalism. Very helpful.
And, yes, it would be a helpful video if you get the chance 😉
:) I appreciate the thoughtful process of exploring with curiosity. Please never hesitate to ask. I enjoyed thinking about this with you.
I’m really working to get better at getting a clear outcome for my agreements and measures of success. Where would you say you got that part in this conversation? I’m wondering if I think it needs to be more overt than is necessary. Is the shift question it? If so, where do you ask about the meaningful part and what is in the way of success?
Hi @LisaDadd This is a really big question. So I went back to the transcript to see what I noticed.
Lyssa: 01:12 What would shift look like if you were to have a shift in that?
Client: 01:18 You know, I think about the different groups in the educational space or the training or where I lead teams and the
experience that I have is I feel connected, I feel centered, I feel, I guess in the zone in the fully alive and that would
be the experience that I want to create for me all the time.
That is what the client wants to create the experience of fully alive all the time.
Lyssa: 01:47 I love that idea Fully Alive and what when you hear yourself saying the words Fully Alive, What do you notice around this full aliveness that you're aiming towards?
This is the exploration of an outcome, we are moving towards fully alive and I am asking specifically what will be the indicators.
At this point he shares: I noticed I smile. Yeah. Yeah, I feel excited. I I mean I smile. I feel a sense of I mean I feel that sense of aliveness...
If you are looking for a measure, feeling excited, smiling, and feeling a sense of aliveness are all part of a success measure. He will know we got where he wanted to go, if he has access to these things.
I reconfirm at 02:58 Yeah. So then in our conversation today, just so I can clear get clarity. Is really this moving from not changing how
you express it out to others. But really the shift into expressing it for yourself and having that. So we're moving
towards Fully Alive if I'm hearing you correctly? From where you are to fully alive. So as you hear this this this idea
of moving from where you are to Fully Alive. Where would be the first place that would be important for us to
explore, that might be between where you are and being fully alive?
This is an example, a bit wordy, but an example of reconfirming what the client wants to do and the directionality of what he wants to explore, that takes him towards the experience of being Fully Alive.
I am not sure if this answers your question, but this is how I see the agreement setting in this conversation. Thank you so much for asking such a great question. :)
L
Thank you for sharing this demonstration, it is very valuable to learn from experienced coaches. One question about how you express yourself in the demo: we were taught in training (according to ICF standards) not to use “I” messages. You say at various points things like “I’m curious…”, “I wonder… “ or “How this lands for me is…”. What is your view of this?
Hi Sibylle, Great question. I play with not using "I" sometimes, and other times it seems to be the naturally occurring pattern that I have. One thing that is probably important, and why your coaching school worked on training it out of you, is that the "I" can be used less than usefully. Example: "I wonder why you are choosing to do XYZ?" That question imparts judgment and isn't all that useful since it's also past tense.
There are places where the "I" may not matter.
Coaches, per Competency 7, 7.5: Coach shares, with no attachment, observations, intuitions, comments, thoughts, or feelings, and invites the client’s exploration through verbal or tonal invitation.
So, using the "I" without attachment probably isn't going to negatively impact the client having their own learning. Example: 24:03 "I don't know, I think for me, I'm like, how do you hold like, you know because you had said a minute ago like it's so easy to default to the habit of being thoughtful and thinking and being external. What helps you to resonate with, tether or, I don't know, anchor yourself into this heart space of yours?"
While this is not a concise question, the I is not about my "knowing" but about my still being curious and open.
All the above being said, I do think that part of my own growth arch is dropping the "I wonder..." and "I'm curious..." and just asking the question. :) Thank you again for such a great question.