How Ghosting Triggers Abandonment Trauma

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ส.ค. 2024

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  • @DocSnipes
    @DocSnipes  11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    👌More videos can be found on this topic at
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  • @lavenderandgold8588
    @lavenderandgold8588 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    i got ghosted by a man this year after being intimate with him. i honestly don't think i'll ever be the same after enduring something like this and i wish i could back in time and do things so much differently

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That’s awful and I am sorry it happened to you

    • @laineymac8430
      @laineymac8430 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      This has just happened to me and I'm in bits. May I ask how you're doing now?

    • @lavenderandgold8588
      @lavenderandgold8588 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@laineymac8430 I’m in a better place since making this comment. I’ve completely distanced myself from him and went so far as to block him. Turns out he was behaving this way with other women and in some regard, that helps me in healing because now I know full well it’s a reflection on him and his behavior. It’s easier to move on when you can see how gross someone truly is lol. But it was an eye opener and I can see why people choose to be abstinent or wait until marriage. I’m sorry you’re going through this too though and I absolutely urge you to block the guy if you haven’t yet because they always end up coming back and just starting the cycle all over again. Guys like that don’t care who they’re hurting as long as they get what they want so you have to take care and love yourself here.

    • @ZaneBillings
      @ZaneBillings 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Ghosting is so toxic and it has caused me some real serious issues

    • @jessicahitchens6926
      @jessicahitchens6926 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You need to get through it... This happens all the time especially to women.

  • @DapperArtImagery
    @DapperArtImagery ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I'm glad this video popped up for me. I have an anxious attachment style so being ghosted, or feeling like I'm being ghosted by someone really triggers my fear of abandonment. In my particular situation, I can see I have no objective reason to feel this way, but the lack of consistent communication really started to trigger those feelings for me. I'm trying to deal with it by detaching myself from the situation to give myself space and process those feelings and emotions. But deep down... I wish I didn't have to deal with abandonment triggers. It's a work in progress I've been discussing in therapy and hope to overcome some day.

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

  • @anitach5901
    @anitach5901 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    When we are hungry of love we tend get into relationships where we are not valued .

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Interesting thought. Thanks for watching.

  • @anitach5901
    @anitach5901 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Lack of communication is basically a cause of breaking ups.

  • @rumpeldumpel675
    @rumpeldumpel675 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    How does this not have a million views. Seriously. All Tinder users should have to watch this video and then sign a waiver that they may be likely to trigger abandonment wounds and put their nervous system through hell.

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

    • @jessicahitchens6926
      @jessicahitchens6926 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Its offline as well. Everyone thinks dating was amazing before the apps. It wasn't 🤡

  • @AmerieFanbase
    @AmerieFanbase ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Thank you dad 🤦🏾‍♂️

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

  • @wintvrose
    @wintvrose ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I’m so grateful to have the tools I have to get thru being ghosted multiple times. I’m glad you made this video. It was very validating honestly.

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are so welcome. Thanks for watching.

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว

      You’re so welcome! Thank you for watching the video!

  • @HelloImEww
    @HelloImEww ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Ghosting happened a lot in my life. It really sucks when the relationship is super important but there wasn't a clear reason or beyond your control.

  • @fistOFjustice91
    @fistOFjustice91 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I have ghosted out of the need for safety. I had to block my ex-boyfriend when he was criticizing me and I did not have the tolerance at the time to handle it. I think in the future, I'd rather say something before ending a relationship.

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you for watching and for sharing

  • @anitach5901
    @anitach5901 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The worst what is happening when You ghosted ,that after many of these ,You do not expect anything better from others . Just let them go . Is not worth to waste energy.

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว

      I agree, it spreads as an expected behavior. I not acceptable by many peoples own standards.

  • @BillyWhitebread
    @BillyWhitebread ปีที่แล้ว +8

    What about the other side of things? What can someone do who knows they have this reaction based on prier relationship trauma/toxicity. For example, close friends, you trusted stealing from you overtly and unapologetically or you invest a lot of time and energy with someone only to find out about something relationship ending. it can be hard when you genuinely want to make connections with people, but have a hard time, trusting that they’re being authentic due to past experiences.

  • @Michael-iw3ek
    @Michael-iw3ek ปีที่แล้ว +6

    OMG i wish this would be shown to those user interface designers for Tinder -- where if someone "unmatches" you you are not only ghosted but the entire conversation thread becomes inaccessible and erased. I wish this would be shown to them Clockwork Orange style, with their eyes taped open until they finally get how it feels.

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว

      😀 Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you for watching the video!

    • @jessicahitchens6926
      @jessicahitchens6926 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's on you... how you respond and react. A thread on Tinder isn't important at all. It's meant to be disposable.

    • @Michael-iw3ek
      @Michael-iw3ek หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@jessicahitchens6926 I guess you do a lot of gaslighting in real life?

  • @fizzle06
    @fizzle06 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Your videos really help me figure out my triggers and understand why I react the way I do. Thank you !

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm so glad! Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

  • @Cowface
    @Cowface ปีที่แล้ว

    The title of this video alone is very validating to me so thank you

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video.

  • @wintvrose
    @wintvrose ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Doc Snipes you’re the best!! Thank you so much for this!! ❤❤

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว

      No problem 😊

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว

      You’re most welcome! I am grateful to be of service

  • @HandintheBoxInc
    @HandintheBoxInc ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It’s led me to not message in online dating anymore and to not use online dating in general

  • @anitach5901
    @anitach5901 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Once a week ? People do not contact for a weeks and they prove that is ok . Is difficult stay opened for a new connection whilst when loyalty is very important for You.

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

  • @huffysheraton
    @huffysheraton ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thanks for this video. It sure describes my single years, hope I never have to repeat that!

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

    • @huffysheraton
      @huffysheraton ปีที่แล้ว

      @@DocSnipes You too, Doc. You are doing alot of good in the world!

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว

      You’re so welcome. Thanks for watching

  • @danab172
    @danab172 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Lots of great videos.

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?

  • @slegendary7719
    @slegendary7719 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have ghosted a few people. The last person was leaving me totally exhausted after every interaction, complaining about her situation and I felt like she was a black whole where never my friendship was enough to her, she will complain about me not having enought time or her, when some night I will stay on the phone until 2 or 3 am when she goes to sleep, just listening to how depressed she was and trying to make her feel better about herself. The last stroke was when I made a bad desition and whitout asking her opinion she called me and started telling me how immature my desition was with those exact words and she was judging me pretty harsh without me even asking her opinion. I realized she was not adding anything good to my life but she was taking my time, my energy, my tranquility, and adding stress which i dont need. I probably should have tell her something, but when she started judging me so harsh without me asking for help or her opinion freed me from any loyalty to her. No that what I did was correct but it was my responsibility to rectify my own mistake.

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks for watching.

  • @violetniemiec1602
    @violetniemiec1602 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I get abandoned in most friendships and relationships ive had. All my friends that say they will stay leave at the end of the day.

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  หลายเดือนก่อน

      I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video

  • @valenciawalker6498
    @valenciawalker6498 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Great presentation

  • @user-ng9pi4dl4f
    @user-ng9pi4dl4f ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for the videos. They are in my cope-with-stress "tool box".

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks for watching.

  • @diverstalent
    @diverstalent ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks!

  • @nazcarcup
    @nazcarcup ปีที่แล้ว

    ...this video speaks to me. Thank you.

  • @fistOFjustice91
    @fistOFjustice91 ปีที่แล้ว

    My best friend since childhood ghosted me. I suspect it was to protect himself from the hastle of breaking up in person/ through text, but it felt like he didn't think about my feelings. It was so hurtful to me.

    • @fistOFjustice91
      @fistOFjustice91 ปีที่แล้ว

      He probably had his own "stuff" going on, and I no longer blame myself. I just hope he's able to figure out how to be more assertive with others in the future.

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I am sorry that happened to you and I am glad you are no longer blaming yourself

  • @ministertothechurch-thezea4552
    @ministertothechurch-thezea4552 ปีที่แล้ว

    I like this doctor

  • @lisalambert81865
    @lisalambert81865 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    How about if it’s your own daughter?

    • @cynthiastinson7059
      @cynthiastinson7059 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I am sorely tempted to ghost my mother because she keeps criticizing me. I’m 53 and still can’t please her. It’s rough not hating her. I have been trying to get loved my entire life to no avail. She’s not getting any younger, and I’m the type to care for here even though she keeps kicking me. Not that this is relevant to you. You are probably wonderful. But relationships are so complicated. 🤷🏻‍♀️ good luck.

    • @lisalambert81865
      @lisalambert81865 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@cynthiastinson7059 I completely understand your story, I stopped talking to my mom after years of doing anything I could to win her love and acceptance but when she chose $400 over her granddaughter’s well being, she almost died and my mom said that wasn’t her problem, that as they say broke the camel’s back.
      My daughter drained all my money and promised to pay it back when she sold her house, but did not, but she did and has given me the silent treatment for weeks now and I will miss my grandson’s 5th birthday tomorrow.

    • @jera9654
      @jera9654 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ​@@cynthiastinson7059I have been watching Jay Reid for awhile. He is dedicated to focusing on children who have been scapegoated. Three pillars: 1) Make sense of what happened 2) Distance/boundaries 3) Live in defiance of them.

    • @pamela60619
      @pamela60619 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@cynthiastinson7059I'm having this problem with my mom. I love and miss her and she lives 1 mile from me but we can't get along 😢😢😢

  • @user-ng9pi4dl4f
    @user-ng9pi4dl4f ปีที่แล้ว

    I read the previous post. A pretty sad one. Don't mean to hurt anybody, but isn't it a decent goal for a therapist to have tought clients to overcome their problems on their own and cope without the therapist ..... unless they've somehow managed to become friends?
    Thanks for the videos. They are in my cope-with-stress "tool box".

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks for watching and commenting.

  • @wanderer0617
    @wanderer0617 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Ghosting is becoming too much of trend now.

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you for watching the video. It's interesting that you've noticed ghosting becoming more common. How does this trend affect you personally, and what thoughts or emotions does it bring up for you?

  • @ghostworld89
    @ghostworld89 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for watching.

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you for watching the video!

  • @mariammahmoud5834
    @mariammahmoud5834 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    👏👏👏👏👏

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks for watching the video

  • @mrzgnilec5209
    @mrzgnilec5209 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Get feedback from auppoeritve ppl, yeah I lost you there, never had that, always f**** off with no chance to explain

    • @DocSnipes
      @DocSnipes  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks for watching the video and for sharing