Obsessed? LO is NOT your person
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 มี.ค. 2024
- I offer personal counseling with a scheduled appointment , please check:
followingfenna.com
Together we will make a plan how to beat limerence.
Hello there!
My name is Fenna van den Berg, I am a certified coach and counselor. I have worked in the mental health field for over 25 years.
Having been through episodes of Limerence, I have "earned my stripes" to help others with their recovery. I understand the obsession and suffering of Limerence. My passion is being able to share with you, and all limerents, a guided-way forward on your journey of healing. We do this through discovering and practicing self-love and compassion. As someone who has suffered through limerence, I have developed effective coaching for people with limerence. My Coaching has helped countless have a more purposeful life, and I want to help you. We will work together, so that you may have a life more in line with your values and integrity.
Together, we are blossoming a community of friendly people with the same debilitating feelings and experiences of Limerence. Here, we share with, support, and nurture each other in giving love to ourselves, perhaps for the first time.
When you’re ready to end your pain and suffering from seeking the "Other," I’m here to guide you in recognizing your true lovable self, with compassionate teaching, counseling and also private coaching.
For my help, please contact me: fenna@followingfenna.com or on followingfenna.com
Followingfenna.com for my help in your limerence
I know you are right, but my mind still wonders..
Yes, that's what it does. It's a symptom of limerence.
Omg..I love what you said about the law of attraction videos...
I'm working on getting my LO out of my head with therapy and such...I'm getting close..
When we first broke up...I got sucked into those FN specific person videos...they don't care about you...only the clics...talk about taking advantage of desperate people
Absolutely!! Maybe not even aware of the damage they can do
@tablespoon888: what does FN mean?
@@terrycraig6386 F**kin
These videos from Fenna are like having a best friend speaking wisdom and clarity. They have helped so much.
I'm so happy to read that 😀
Thank you I've been watching your videos and it greatly helped me get out of limerence and save my marriage and two kids.
Oh wauw !! I'm soooo glad to read this. Well done !
I thought I closed this chapter 2 years ago, then all of a sudden my brain decided to make me dream of LO last week, and in this dream I met him and I heard this deep solemn voice saying "He's the only one", like as if it was God telling me the "truth" about LO. I woke up so pissed off!!! I've worked so hard to get over him, please brain don't be this cruel and let me move on!!! 😢
The dream will wear off, vivid dreams are part of the process, unfortunately 😕 does not mean you are back to square 1.
Thank you for this video. Helped me see what i didn't want to. I'm in no contact now and looking for answers as to why i've been having such a hard time letting go of someone who i now believe is an Dismissive Avoidant and likely Narcissist. The trauma bond and dopamine dependence on them has been so hard to break but this has really shed light on my situation. You really made me look at the reality of things as opposed to the fantasy i wanted to believe in.
This is why I'm here, right this!
To stop people from continuing this unfulfilled love for years. Good for you!
Nearly 10 years.
Thank you for this video. I listen to your words, and I know that you are 100% right, but my mind wants to believe otherwise and it's hard to do what i, deep down, know it's the right thing (NC)
@@lunadurmiente that's how limerence works, we know what's best, and stil...
You understand this condition so well. I completely agree with the correlation of dopamine and hope. Both, I think, are the same thing - it's 'hopium', and it's very addictive and almost impossible to let go of. If your LO is a healthy (or neurotypical) person, they hopefully will instinctively know the importance of killing that hope quickly. However if you're dealing with a manipulative or disordered person, they might use that addictive cycle to their advantage to keep you hooked in, so they can extract more fuel from you.
I feel that my Limerence is fading day by day now. Finally! I think about my Dreams that have nothing to do with Lo, I want to write on my fantasy novel, and take the black belt in my martial arts. Lo giving me clarity definitely helped.
My advice, if you have any sort of friendship with Lo, and if Lo isnt a coworker or in a relationship, then PLEASE ask for clarity on how Lo see you!! It will feel really bad for a while afterwards if they reject you, or say you are a friend, but it will feel better after a while! 🎉
Oh yeah. Asking for clarity is the biggest gift 🎁 you can give yourself.
@@followingfennaI am someone's LO and I don't want to be. I have told the limerant person over and over again that our feelings aren't mutual and yet he keeps contacting me. It's going on 8 years now. So giving the limerant person clarity doesn't make a difference in my case and the LO suffers too. I don't want to be his LO. I wish he would just forget about me. I don't even like him and have told him so many times. He just doesn't believe anything I say and he insists I'm his soulmate. )-:
It really is! And especially when Lo still like you as a person and friend, bc then I dont have to go trough the abandonment trauma. 🎉 My lo literally thanked me for clarity as well as writing "No hard feelings, do what is best for you and take care!" In her last message. It feels so good to finally feel that the Limerence is fading. To focus on other things than her. 😊 @@followingfenna
@@KP-de6tdOh this sounds so hard for you! You have done nothing wrong in this situation! Does the limerent person live close to you?
@@marcusappelberg369 I'm happy for you :)
On your channel since last year.
You saved me, woman!
Really ? Did you walk away from Lo ??
Thank you for the compliment ☺️
After giving birth my wife went into a postpartum depression & fell into limerence with a coworker & nearly left me for the other man. When I found out it was like she snapped out of being hypnotized & acted like OMG what was I doing? Even still it took her over 6 months to get over her Limerence. Today I feel bad for the other man because he was a lonely Beta male & my wife & son were his only chance of having a family, my wife hurt him real bad when she left him.
I wouldn’t feel too bad for him, I take it he knew she was married and with a young child.
Limerence makes many victims for sure.
I'm happy she snapped out of it.
That’s a great way to warp your reality
Still, you should probably focus on your own growth instead of his problems tbh, if you feel the need to call other men beta males
Only a weak man would get excited over the thought of raising another dude's kid(S).@@wanjahe8749
But I’m afraid they will think badly of me. I agree you’re right. Thx for the insights.
When in limerence we overly care what Lo thinks of us, once we are out, we couldn't care less.
It's a great feeling :)
OMG you are so right, especially about the LOA manifesting videos. Since I understood that, I've been able to build much healthier relationships starting with myself!
Glad to hear that !
Thank you so much, I’ve seen several videos about the subject but no one describe it and helped me as much as your videos, you are incredibly amazing and i can feel your sweet soul!🤍 wish your voice reach millions and help them.🙏🏼
What a huge compliment Lama, thank you 😊 🙏
Unless you on your own twin flame journey, you can't possible comprehend how profound ,transformative and outerworldly it is.Its not a romantic love.In physical 3 D,they are polarities of divine energy.Masculine/Femine ,Ying/Yang,+-,.So at start first meeting,soul recognition,they attract,after about 1 month,energy climbs and settles ,then like 2 magnets turned around, they repel.Onc runs scared of intensity and depth of love ,feeling unworthy, one is left utterly destroyed. To reunite in this lifetime,,they have to transcend the mind,ego death, dark night of soul, and surrender to it balance their fear energy,.
This is a real struggle. I'm glad I found your channel. Thank you, your videos have helped me immensely.
I'm so happy to read this, thank you for taking the time to comment
Excellent tutorial, Cheers! 😊
Thank yiu !
Thank you Fenna! 🙏
Thank YOU 😊 Dana
My partner left me and our young son for a co worker 16 years younger. He’d known her for 4 months and it lasted less than 3 months out in the real world. It was the worst thing I’d ever experienced because I blamed myself. Our relationship had been in trouble for about a year before but I never expected what happened to happen. It’s blindsiding when someone leaves for someone they barely know. I do think it was limerance because within weeks of leaving he seemed to be less and less infatuated with her. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
Most of the time, people leave their family behind and the LO seems less interested after a while, it's a very sad dynamic. 😔
Did he ask you to take him back? How are you doing now?
Sweet voice
Great video, thank you!
Thank YOU for commenting
❤️Well said,see if that gets through about their so called Divine counterparts aswelp as not being their usual type,,from a dfferent culture or country or religion. and a highly likely 20 yr age gap
Ik twijfel of ik limerence heb. Ik heb het nooit gehad op dit niveau maar met 1 vriendin van mij ben ik wel meer bezig dan met andere. Ben vorig jaar ook heel veel met haar opgetrokken met haar en heb een sterk emotionele connectie en ben toen soort van gehecht aan haar geraakt, en zodra zij haar grenzen ging stellen en afstand wilde kon ik daar niet mee opgaan. Herspeel eindeloos van allerlei situaties in mn hoofd, moet wel zeggen dat ik over van alles in mn leven rumineer. Heb ook geworsteld met verslaving van medicijnen, heb ook een trauma en een slechte hechtingstijl (vermijdend) dit zijn denk ik allemaal dingen die niet meewerken. Ik merk wel dat ik nu onrustig ben als we appen.. we hebben nu nog lichtelijk contact, maar het is wel duidelijk dat ze afstand wilt en niet meer zo als vorig jaar dat close contact. Is een beetje contact mogelijk? Ik weet het niet, het is mss netzoals met drugs gebruik, kan ik wel een beetje cocaine gebruiken als ik cocaine verslaafd ben?! Nee wss ook niet. Ik ga het nog wel ff proberen. Kvind het gewoon pijnlijk om een persoon op te geven, tis geen middel wat je opgeeft het betreft ook een relatie dan. En er zijn al zoveel relaties in mn leven mislukt.. maar ik denk wel dat ze doorheeft dat het wat ongezond is van mij, dit heeft ze ook aangegeven. Ik voel me ook vast zitten, maar het is ook geen fantasie waar ik in leef de dingen die ik nog wil zoals een keer op vakantie gaan en dergelijke stonden ook op de planning maar zijn ook even van de baan.. er gaat wel veel tijd en moeite en en pijn in zitten maarja. Kweet het af en toe echt niet meer...
Wat mooi / fijn dat je dit deelt.
Inderdaad een beetje cocaïne gebruiken kan niet.
Als je lijd onder het gebrek aan contact is het misschien beter om haar los te laten en te rouwen. Om jullie vriendschap en de band die jullie hadden.
Ik wens je heel veel sterkte en dank je wel voor het delen.
But how do you never again go in limerence not just consciously but also subconsciously? What’s the root cure for this !?
There is a video comming this week on this subject
@@followingfenna looking forward to it ❤️
Is this why people with bipolar experience such extreme limerence? Because of dopamine?
That might be, I'm no scientist but when we are sensitive to hormones or are hsp or have depression we tend to be more vulnerable.
How is Limerence pain different from heartbreak or is the
both thing same?
It's the same but multiplied by 1000 in my opinion.
Warm safe sexy relationship👍
Yes!!
What is LO is it a even a word ?
It means limerent object. The person we are obsessed about