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You Contacted The Other in No Contact!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ส.ค. 2024
- We can't take any more, so we walk away, simple as that. End of story.
Nope, that's not how it goes. We wish it could be that easy. We walk away, we go back, to give them "just one more chance". Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
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[I offer personal counseling with a scheduled appointment or on an "emergency" basis.
For my help, please contact me: fennavdberg@hotmail.com]
Hello!
My name is Fenna van den Berg, I am a certified coach and counselor. I have worked in the mental health field for over 25 years.
Having been through episodes of Limerence, I have "earned my stripes" to help others with their recovery. I understand the obsession and suffering of Limerence. My passion is being able to share with you, and all limerents, a guided-way forward on your journey of healing. We do this through discovering and practicing self-love and compassion. As someone who has suffered through limerence, I have developed effective coaching for people with limerence. My Coaching has helped countless have a more purposeful life, and I want to help you. We will work together, so that you may have a life more in line with your values and integrity.
Together, we are blossoming a community of friendly people with the same debilitating feelings and experiences of Limerence. Here, we share with, support, and nurture each other in giving love to ourselves, perhaps for the first time.
When you’re ready to end your pain and suffering from seeking the "Other," I’m here to guide you in recognizing your true lovable self, with compassionate teaching, counseling and also private coaching.
For my help, please contact me: fennavdberg@hotmail.com
My editor is the best!! : Heymel Visual
Graphics: Studio Ilse van Klei ilsevanklei.nl/
Thank you, I used to get so angry at myself, thank you for this.
The struggle is so real! I always feel like I’m DONE!! Then every 10-14 days I have the desire to reconnect. It’s awful 😢
I just relapsed! After trying not to, for 4 weeks, only though about it 5000 times per minute. Thank you.
@@followingfenna Thats nothing!
Thank you! Your video came just at the right time. "My big loving limerants" it is so comforting, it almost makes me cry. I am 3 weeks of no contact now and struggling.
@@followingfenna Thank you for giving me hope.
Love what you are teaching about limerance. It’s important to educate people on what real love feels like and that is not habitual pain, longing, suffering, waiting for change and staying stagnant in your own life and at your tremendous experiential expense. Live your life, stop waiting that a mismatched person will suddenly see you! Peace and blessings all! 💞😊
Thanks. Went to the Contra dance last night. It was a blast. I am a good dancer
Yes, push and pull from both sides. It can also become vicious, and a lot of frustration.This is my experience. But than a nice word, sweet text, apologize, and it starts over again, and another time be sucked in.
Sometimes i think; was better that i never met him. This thoughts i have only 3 or 4 weeks. Maybe this is a sign to stop the limerence?!
Ja, het moet toch een keer lukken. Definitief.
Please advise me. There are videos promoting law of assumption , manifest, law of attraction , telling people to attract your specific person by focusing on visualization with that person and ignoring the 3D world. Don’t you think this kind of teaching is very dangerous for people who suffer from limerence like us?
It's all a deception. Making you feel even worse. Most things that you "manifest" will not be what you want at the end..
Yes, stay far away. And obviously there’s whole New Age areas intentionally feeding and feeding off the whole desperate world of limerence folk.
I did what you are not supposed to do. I set myself up to run into my LO after 14 months of nc. I wanted to dip my toe onto it again. I needed to have another conversation, any conversation with this person. I think it actually was a good thing. My LO looked a little worse physically than they did a year ago. And we had a normal conversation, and we even exchanged emails a week later. And it did not convince me that things are going to be hot or romantic between us. I guess it was a bit important to me to not feel 100% ghosted, but I'm still here and not going anywhere.
I don't feel like it was a relapse. I feel like I got the little break from the heartache, and yet my expectations are not high going forward. I know it's not going to get good, it's pretty much over. But there might be a casual friendship only, and I think I'm fine with that. It's about being honest and realistic about it, and not being trapped by fantasy of what can not be. It might not be any friendship either.
@@followingfenna That is very good advice. I got my mini fix for the moment, and now I need to simply continue on as I have been for the last year, working on myself and try to not even think about them very much.
Thank you so much for your videos! I'm starting to feel better, just hoping that she don't contact me either. In my case she's a good LO, so I'm afraid of relapse.
Any uppdate?
@@marcusappelberg369 hey, i had a few contacts here and there between this months, but lucky for me i was able to do my process of healing and now i don't feel the same for her. It was a long and hard road, for sure.
Yeah, I think my mind tricks me when I’m feeling better, happier, stronger. I start to think that a tiny contact couldn’t hurt anything. Wrong! I was thinking of trying that suggestion of talking to the limerence as if it’s a cloud or something. I could say,”Oh, you tricked me again. Trying to fool me again, eh? Well, I’m going to be watching you.”
Ugh, I was typing a message here and have sooo much to say and want to get off my chest from the limerence... But it got soo huge and typed this instead...I HATE limerence...
After watching many videos and reading a lot about limerence I (a betrayed spouse) do feel a certain amount of empathy for my limerent husband. As concerns the "relapses", however I have no further patience. The incessant lying which has lead to trickle truth about his affair have pushed me over the edge. If one is limerent and in a committed relationship with someone else, there is nothing "harmless" about relapsing. After 4+ years, I am done.
I totally get that, and you have my all empathy because that is really really difficult.
Good luck to you !!
I was wondering who else got nausea and diarrhoea when LO argued with them or ignored them…
while trying to break from my current limerence, i discovered that my body reacts by weaker knees, and vertigo at home. this makes me feel older and weaker than i should feel at my age. how to adress the connection?
Hi is it possible to just have a relapse of intense feelings, stomach aches but without actually desiring to reconnect or even thinking about this person? I just try to understand my feelings. It's been 2 years of no contact and sometimes when I watch something that reminds me of him I get those intense feelings.
@@followingfenna Thank you for the response :) the worst pain I've ever felt but it's good to know I am not crazy It's just how the process works :)
❤
Thanks Fenna. I’ve noticed progress over the many times I‘ve tried to go NC. However, what screws me up every time is dreams about LO. Any tips on how to deal with this?
Do you use twitter Fenna?
@@followingfenna I would recommend, it can be used as a advertisement tool and also can reach a much more larger audience base.
It is all completely your decision.
Some limerence tips would help me if posted on there.
Thanks.
@@followingfenna looking forward till then, keep up the good work 😀👍
I Want to Know What Love Is.Foreigner. 1984 release date
I've gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when I'm older
This mountain, I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
Through the clouds, I see love shine
Keeps me warm as life grows colder
In my life, there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me (hey)
Gotta take a little time
Little time to look around me
I've got nowhere left to hide
Looks like love has finally found me
In my life, there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
I wanna know what love is (I wanna know)
I want you to show me (I wanna feel)
I wanna feel what love is (I know, I know, and I know)
I know you can show me
Let's talk about love
I wanna know what love is
(Love that you feel inside)
I want you to show me
(I'm feeling so much love)
I wanna feel what love is
(And you know, you just can't hide)
I know you can show me
Oh, I wanna know what love is
(Let's talk about love)
I know you can show me
(I wanna feel)
I wanna feel what love is
(And you know you just can't hide)
I know you can show me
I wanna feel what love is (oh, I wanna know)
I want you to show me