I always think if I just have a friend's with benefits, they won't discover the real anxious attachment me because i keep my wall up, nor do I have to worry about any real rejection. I'm 59 now and don't think I could ever go through rejection and abandonment again.
I don't think anything is wrong with anxiously attached people. Securely attached, to me, is only authentic when there's a safe, trusting, communicative, transparent, relating, compassionate collaboration between two committed people with similar relationship needs, values, beliefs, and lifestyles. Perhaps you never had the opportunity to be secure in a relationship. I haven't, but I believe in it and have it to give. I won't again give that to someone who doesn't give it back.
What takes away loneliness isn't having friends. Friends don't do life with you. Friends don't give affection. Friends don't share life goals and collaborate together working on those goals. Friends have their own lives with their own people. Doing social events or coffee chats don't take away loneliness. What protects me from making stupid decisions while being lonely is just accepting the loneliness and the void and not trying to fill it with sub-par situationships, addictions, bad habits and distractions. Instead, putting energy into self-care and home care for healing, growth, personal responsibility, integrity and humility; and being of-service,-with boundaries, dignity, class and morals--when having to deal with people in public and at jobs. And maintain a really close, trusting relationship with God.
I so appreciate the work you do and have found your videos an invaluable source in my healing. One thing I’ve noticed lately is that I am struggling to relate to your letter writers as of late. I don’t know if that a sign that I’m moving into a different stage in my life. I hope this is the case because i have been in a place like Maggie where I was getting get thrashed around emotionally from liking people more than they like me. Also 25 is very young I’m not sure it’s noteworthy to not have been in many or any romantic relationships at that age my first and only one was when I turned 28.
We used to hike to 711 and get candy. I remember the grape bubble gum in a long stick. I think we paid for it. We stole elsewhere 🤭 it's a happy memory.
Friends with benefits isn't for everyone. I have been having flings for a couple of years now, and I don't like how the women I'm having flings with lie to themselves. They say that they CAN have a fling but then out of nowhere, they bring up the possibility of having something serious. If you're looking for something serious, make sure you find potential partners that are in agreement with those terms.
That’s one way to look at it another is that you could stop having flings with monogamous single women and become a part of a polyamory and/or swingers group. Plenty of non-committal flings to be had there.
I always think if I just have a friend's with benefits, they won't discover the real anxious attachment me because i keep my wall up, nor do I have to worry about any real rejection. I'm 59 now and don't think I could ever go through rejection and abandonment again.
I don't think anything is wrong with anxiously attached people. Securely attached, to me, is only authentic when there's a safe, trusting, communicative, transparent, relating, compassionate collaboration between two committed people with similar relationship needs, values, beliefs, and lifestyles. Perhaps you never had the opportunity to be secure in a relationship. I haven't, but I believe in it and have it to give. I won't again give that to someone who doesn't give it back.
Regardless of what some may say, anyone can be anxiously attached. Others can make you very anxious by being aloof or abusing you.
What takes away loneliness isn't having friends. Friends don't do life with you. Friends don't give affection. Friends don't share life goals and collaborate together working on those goals. Friends have their own lives with their own people. Doing social events or coffee chats don't take away loneliness.
What protects me from making stupid decisions while being lonely is just accepting the loneliness and the void and not trying to fill it with sub-par situationships, addictions, bad habits and distractions. Instead, putting energy into self-care and home care for healing, growth, personal responsibility, integrity and humility; and being of-service,-with boundaries, dignity, class and morals--when having to deal with people in public and at jobs. And maintain a really close, trusting relationship with God.
Sharing this with my viewers! Thank you for the work you do ❤
Thank you, Ana! God bless you ! ❤
How many times can I listen to this until it rewires my brain 😂 Love it!
You are so right on ! You describe my life and experience so surprisingly well Nice to know it’s not just me thank you
I so appreciate the work you do and have found your videos an invaluable source in my healing. One thing I’ve noticed lately is that I am struggling to relate to your letter writers as of late. I don’t know if that a sign that I’m moving into a different stage in my life. I hope this is the case because i have been in a place like Maggie where I was getting get thrashed around emotionally from liking people more than they like me. Also 25 is very young I’m not sure it’s noteworthy to not have been in many or any romantic relationships at that age my first and only one was when I turned 28.
First🎉 great content
Beautiful ❤thank you
Just Thank you 😊😊😊
You are amazing
We used to hike to 711 and get candy. I remember the grape bubble gum in a long stick. I think we paid for it. We stole elsewhere 🤭 it's a happy memory.
Friends with benefits isn't for everyone. I have been having flings for a couple of years now, and I don't like how the women I'm having flings with lie to themselves. They say that they CAN have a fling but then out of nowhere, they bring up the possibility of having something serious. If you're looking for something serious, make sure you find potential partners that are in agreement with those terms.
Women naturally absorb men's essence during sex. Is actually spiritual and deep. So it's very much biological and spiritually connected.
That’s one way to look at it another is that you could stop having flings with monogamous single women and become a part of a polyamory and/or swingers group. Plenty of non-committal flings to be had there.
Sex brings on feelings in a lot of people. Some think they can handle or avoid them until they hit a brick wall of emotions.
I wish each letter had its own timestamp