I'm still grieving. He's moved on. I have not. I'm missing him. The shell the body, I don't miss the lies the cheating the secrets. You said it clearly. I'm in tears as this hits me so close to home.
What sucks is when we make the narc our world and then they leave us and abandon us. I feel like I'm constantly wanting him but he doesn't want me and I don't want the bs he did. I'm going through trauma bonding. I hate feeling like a ping pong ball
We are grieving several losses. It felt almost like the grievance of the death of a close one, because it some shape or form it is a death. The death of a person we thought they were. Often times it's a thing called the fading affect bias, it's when our brains forget the bad before the good. If we went back to them, we would be quickly be reminded of why things ended.
Cognitive dissonance is so hard to break. When someone tries to tell you about it, it doesn't make sense. In my opinion, there is really no good advice that you will listen to, until you break cognitive dissonance. This is only my opinion.
So totally Over I know what you mean and remember people telling me things, or giving advice, which they're not meant to do, yet I couldn't stop wanting to be with the highly narcissistic exes! I'm beyond relieved that I managed to break the trauma bonds, even though it was excruciatingly painful. I believe that it was related to my highly narcissistic parents, so it's no wonder. I can clearly see it happening with other people now, which is heartbreaking. I don't and wouldn't tell anyone to leave though, unless their lives are in danger and just hope they'll be able to break away when they're ready. ❤
I was crying today cause I miss my ex as sometimes I usually do. I kept asking myself "why am I still crying? Why haven't I stopped? Why do I still miss them YEARS after no contact?" Then I thought about what parts of them is making me cry. Friendship, companionship, not being lonely... Maybe I don't miss them, maybe I miss the hole they filled in my life?
This hit me to my core! It actually helped me to realize how little I do miss him! Also makes me sick tht I allowed him to treat me like I was never good enough! I’m here to say to anyone going through this difficult time, it does get better and u start to enjoy ur freedom so much tht u start loving you!! Keep working on u, and watching these videos! Sure saved me! Good luck 🙏💪
I've been watching more of your extremely helpful videos while catching up on housework after breaking my collarbone, which was partly caused by stress over narcissistic people, then got bronchitis and became sick again after that. I could write a LOT on each video and need to curb it most of the time. I HAD to mention that you explained the process really well, then giving hope at the end was the icing on the cake, so to speak! I'm so glad you said that it's normal to miss them at first and it's good to cry, as it was the main thing (besides no contact) that assisted me to stop wanting any connection with the last highly narcissistic ex, and others with similar behaviour. I found that the crying stopped of it's own accord most of the time, or if I had to go out, or something else. It was becoming constant during the lockdowns though, until I managed to break it. I realise that it was a normal reaction to the pandemic as well. ❤
Thats interesting. I guess ive never been emeshed? I wanted to be around my exes a ton- yet i always hated numerous things they liked. Id do stiff with them i didnt want to do plenty, but like i never really just massively changed what i liked But feeling like youre floating in outerspace! Totally relatable. Felt like life was over meaningless pointless. Still does a lot just not as bad.
I can relate to the way you describe the pain and anguish and flooding of emotions released through crying non stop. I would cry while doing my piano practice because my narcicistic and codependent parents were constantly at war with each other and I felt torn and devastated.. i appreciate your interpretations. Thankyou.❤
Exactly..6 months have passed and I m still lost and shocked that my ex cheated lied and dumped me and went straight into a relationship with new supply...i feel so sad I can t recover 😢real trauma
I WAS ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT MY SISTERS, I SEEMED TO BE ADDICTED, YES ENMESHED WITH THEM, I WAS DEPENDENT ON THEM AND ALCOHOL AND DRUGS, WHEN I GOT SOBER OR TRIED TO MY MALIGNANT NARC. SISTER WAS NOT A HAPPY CAMPER, SHE HAD LOST ME TO AA, WE COULDN'T PARTY TOGETHER ANYMORE! THAT CONTINED TIL TODAY, I HAVE LITTLE TO DO W/HER THANK GOD APART FR BRIEF FONE!
Lol, self aware narcissist Lee Hammock whose channel is called Mental Healness calls it a “poop cake”.😂That’s really gross, but he said that your relationship with a narcissist and your life together is like this great cake that you’re decorating and is supposed to be really wonderful, but the reality is that it’s made of poop.😂He said that it’s a poop cake, and you need to just accept that and throw it away.
Hahaha. I listen to him and enjoy his content, but I had not heard that!! I have to say that I really think it’s more like a real cake with pieces of poop IN it, because that’s what confuses you and keeps you going back for more! Thanks for sharing.
It’s very confusing, so tired🥲🙏continues my reminded of the stealing, cleaned out my shed and storage Did so much damage. It’s been almost 2 years no contact, yes it was all pretending and stealing killing destroying I wish he never crossed my path, demons send them to end you
I'm still grieving. He's moved on. I have not. I'm missing him. The shell the body, I don't miss the lies the cheating the secrets. You said it clearly. I'm in tears as this hits me so close to home.
I’m so sorry.😢I know that’s really difficult.
What sucks is when we make the narc our world and then they leave us and abandon us. I feel like I'm constantly wanting him but he doesn't want me and I don't want the bs he did. I'm going through trauma bonding. I hate feeling like a ping pong ball
Missing someone who TREATED you with ABUSIVE and treated you BADLY.... Women need to focus on how horrible he was, and not the fake FAIRY TALE part.
We are grieving several losses. It felt almost like the grievance of the death of a close one, because it some shape or form it is a death. The death of a person we thought they were. Often times it's a thing called the fading affect bias, it's when our brains forget the bad before the good. If we went back to them, we would be quickly be reminded of why things ended.
Cognitive dissonance is so hard to break. When someone tries to tell you about it, it doesn't make sense. In my opinion, there is really no good advice that you will listen to, until you break cognitive dissonance. This is only my opinion.
So totally Over I know what you mean and remember people telling me things, or giving advice, which they're not meant to do, yet I couldn't stop wanting to be with the highly narcissistic exes!
I'm beyond relieved that I managed to break the trauma bonds, even though it was excruciatingly painful. I believe that it was related to my highly narcissistic parents, so it's no wonder.
I can clearly see it happening with other people now, which is heartbreaking. I don't and wouldn't tell anyone to leave though, unless their lives are in danger and just hope they'll be able to break away when they're ready. ❤
I was crying today cause I miss my ex as sometimes I usually do.
I kept asking myself "why am I still crying? Why haven't I stopped? Why do I still miss them YEARS after no contact?"
Then I thought about what parts of them is making me cry.
Friendship, companionship, not being lonely...
Maybe I don't miss them, maybe I miss the hole they filled in my life?
This hit me to my core! It actually helped me to realize how little I do miss him! Also makes me sick tht I allowed him to treat me like I was never good enough! I’m here to say to anyone going through this difficult time, it does get better and u start to enjoy ur freedom so much tht u start loving you!! Keep working on u, and watching these videos! Sure saved me! Good luck 🙏💪
I've been watching more of your extremely helpful videos while catching up on housework after breaking my collarbone, which was partly caused by stress over narcissistic people, then got bronchitis and became sick again after that.
I could write a LOT on each
video and need to curb it most of the time. I HAD to mention that you explained the process really well, then giving hope at the end was the icing on the cake, so to speak!
I'm so glad you said that it's normal to miss them at first and it's good to cry, as it was the main thing (besides no contact) that assisted me to stop wanting any connection with the last highly narcissistic ex, and others with similar behaviour.
I found that the crying stopped of it's own accord most of the time, or if I had to go out, or something else. It was becoming constant during the lockdowns though, until I managed to break it. I realise that it was a normal reaction to the pandemic as well. ❤
You are so very interesting and super smart for a young age. I think very black and white also. Thank you.
Thats interesting. I guess ive never been emeshed? I wanted to be around my exes a ton- yet i always hated numerous things they liked. Id do stiff with them i didnt want to do plenty, but like i never really just massively changed what i liked
But feeling like youre floating in outerspace! Totally relatable. Felt like life was over meaningless pointless. Still does a lot just not as bad.
I can relate to the way you describe the pain and anguish and flooding of emotions released through crying non stop. I would cry while doing my piano practice because my narcicistic and codependent parents were constantly at war with each other and I felt torn and devastated.. i appreciate your interpretations. Thankyou.❤
Outstanding ! " Focus on healing". 🙏💪
Your explanation of enmeshment was spot on.
Thank you!! Needed this today ♡
Thank you! This was very helpful and explained in a very straightforward and easy to relate to way! 💜💚💜
you are so good at explaining
& connecting to this pain 🌿🕊
Nail it again girl👍. What you said is soooo true.
Exactly..6 months have passed and I m still lost and shocked that my ex cheated lied and dumped me and went straight into a relationship with new supply...i feel so sad I can t recover 😢real trauma
How are you doing now, 4 months later. Any better?
This helps A LOT. Thank you so much!
Thank you. Very helpful.
The narcissistic keep victims in their spell and make victims attac to them .the victims only act according to narcist wish
I check occasionally for a death notice or obituary.
I WAS ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT MY SISTERS, I SEEMED TO BE ADDICTED, YES ENMESHED WITH THEM, I WAS DEPENDENT ON THEM AND ALCOHOL AND DRUGS, WHEN I GOT SOBER OR TRIED TO MY MALIGNANT NARC. SISTER WAS NOT A HAPPY CAMPER, SHE HAD LOST ME TO AA, WE COULDN'T PARTY TOGETHER ANYMORE! THAT CONTINED TIL TODAY, I HAVE LITTLE TO DO W/HER THANK GOD APART FR BRIEF FONE!
exactly, she liked to go hiking , i didn't, i had to stick to my guns.
Lol, self aware narcissist Lee Hammock whose channel is called Mental Healness calls it a “poop cake”.😂That’s really gross, but he said that your relationship with a narcissist and your life together is like this great cake that you’re decorating and is supposed to be really wonderful, but the reality is that it’s made of poop.😂He said that it’s a poop cake, and you need to just accept that and throw it away.
Hahaha. I listen to him and enjoy his content, but I had not heard that!! I have to say that I really think it’s more like a real cake with pieces of poop IN it, because that’s what confuses you and keeps you going back for more! Thanks for sharing.
It’s very confusing, so tired🥲🙏continues my reminded of the stealing, cleaned out my shed and storage
Did so much damage. It’s been almost 2 years no contact, yes it was all pretending and stealing killing destroying
I wish he never crossed my path, demons send them to end you