Exactly what my mom did. I actually felt shame when people throughout my life would treat me poorly or be cold, and I would try to "be better". Then my mom moved closer to me after I had children, and the abuse started again. It took me about 8 years to figure it out. Your videos have been a part of my healing journey. Now she's out of my life and I'm focused on loving my inner child and feeling amazing. Thank you Michelle!!
I think it's being hot 🔥 and cold 🥶 the ups and the downs, and the breadcrumbs, that leaves you stuck, and the soul ties.👍 Michele and survivors and thrivers 🙏
I can actually feel the anxiety that I felt when my best friend got mad at me and wouldn't speak to me (we were both in our 20's) and I had gone home and had a complete panic attack with constant vomiting and shaking and trying to figure out what I can do to make it right. It was exactly what I went through with my mom when she would be mad at me, such a horrible time. Thank you Michelle for your video's, everything you talk about is so spot on with what I've been through and how I feel 50 years later.
Yes, as she says, I have found that I try harder with people, especially men, when they are toxic. It feels weirdly codependent in such an automatic way.. ugh..
This is the best explanation I've ever heard. It is difficult to reflect on my experiences and have them described in such astounding clarity within your presentation. I've never heard anyone else explain trauna bonding as succinctly and accurately as this. I'm shook 😳 its like you looked inside my brain and told the basic outline of my life story, minutes the multiple autoimmune diseases that started a decade ago and are now killing me in my 40s.
Overt, Covert, psychopath. That's what really made me comment. Everything here is dead on... I don't know what I'd do without your videos.. Years now, your videos are what connected the dots.💯💯💯💯🙏🏼🎄🌠🥺🥺Merry Christmas.
This is exactly what my mum done to me and my twin sister. She would praise me and put emm adorn I hate that. Then she would go on about me cleaning Cooke studying I got all honours in my leaving , junior cert. My twin gave up 6wk before graduation. She was becoming Co dependent on her boyfriend then my fiance of we yr I was never allowed honour with my mother told me she kill herself if I stayed with Thomas. She ended up in a.e telling us we was no good bitches. Emotional abuse. People pleaser I became And then my mum ran away afraid after house went on fire . She was lost in feR over my twin sis had a stalker and he set our mum home on fire 🔥after 6wk of knowing my sis. Now I'm free healing nd learning to open with grief Thomas my fiance died 12yrs together he dies on my arms 💔😢sudden adult death syndrome 33yrs. I was 26yr old. My 2nd died to after 6yrs larwarce He was great at beginning but then he turned on me after we lost our baby 11half was pregnant then his grand da died so he took it of on me. Silent treatment. False assumption blamed in wrong. I started get ill over him. Seziers panic attacks .I'm 4yr alone now I suffer addiction to cope now I'm 4yrs free thank Jesus but now. I'm aware since 19yrs old and I saw everyone s behaviours I thought I was in a nightmare wen I got home from from retreat of self awareness and behaviours. Great video.i help ppl now. I see my trigger s and I'm Learning to cope. I was waking up vomiting 🤢just before my councillng session
You say it so clear, thank you! These are not easy things to explain. And so demanding to process. You have beautiful way of finding words to formulate what it is all about.
Michele I love u & I’ve followed u forever . I am an animal activist . It is considered the height of cruelty to torture animals & it is validating & encouraging to the abuser to site animal experiments / abuse & it enables it .!!! Please DO NOT EVER SITE animal experiments EVER ....... u will b enabling the abuse so I emplore u my beloved beautiful sister to never ever ever give them credibility please thank you ❤️
I love your videos and I will say this is the best video you have ever made. It's like you were describing my life.. And someone finally made trauma bond clear and easy for me! Bless you and thankyou x
Michele I am so grateful for the help you have given me. But I am not very confident that I will even get close to being a real person. I am 51 and for several years have been caring for my maternal parent (vulnerable/covert)abuser. Discovered a few yrs ago it was not me. Feel like I have woken up in a cult,alone. Knowledge is power but sometimes it’s more of a reality check. The magnitude of my issues,no self identity,misfit,nobody to no one….the more clarity I have just seems to increase my despair and dysregulation. The injustice,unfairness and no chance of responsibility or accountability sometimes makes it hard to breathe. And I don’t even want to anyway. I have no people,no support,not welcome wherever I go. Educating myself has ultimately backfired and is overwhelming. Reaching out for assistance has been invalidating and pointless. Feel like rabbit in headlights. Mostly just primal agony and despair. Bless you and yours Michele🙏you have a beautiful,compassionate and generous spirit👼💙thank you💕🙏
So how do we uproot the core beliefs, issues, subconscious memories that cause this? Was with a person With borderline personality disorder for almost 20 years and Most of the last five years With a female covert narcissist...
Yes this is so true I married someone like my mother but on a level of his psychopathy convert malignant and machiavelli. I've been in a disciplined daily recovery, learning myself over the last 3 years and finally regulating my nervous system programming. Finally breaking into my authentic me. Thank you Michelle. You're an inspiration for so many!❤️
Wow. Just wow! Explained so well. It finally clicked in my brain how I got trauma bonded to my ex partner who at the very least has many narcissistic traits. That hot and cold stuff and breadcrumbs after the love bombing phase kept me in a trauma bond state for 3 years. I couldn't figure out why I stayed so long because I left several other relationships that weren't in my best interest with no problems. I am now 4 months removed from my last relationship. It has been a huge struggle but finally went no contact 2 months ago. So hard, but I'm doing it.
Eerily; this is the story of my life. I continued to wind up with worse relationships. Mom was controlling. Then Peggy lied to police. Then Nancy was a psychopath and had a PHd in psychology. Lost millions and my sanity. How do I fix “core wounds?”
I needed this today. In the process of restructuring boundaries with my mom and so this holiday is going to be very stressful for me since my mom and two other narc family members are loud and aggressive. I keep panicking.
I'm trauma bonded. I don't sleep in our bed but sometimes one of the kids ends up crashed on the couch (my bed) and I do. A couple of early mornings ago he started to snuggle up to me and it felt so good for a minute and my head said "no. You are getting a scooby snack. Get out of bed." So I got up and started my day.
Ugh. After 15 years of housewifing I got a job. I have 4 bosses and hundreds of customers a day. A boss is similar to husband. Or it's just his bark. But either way, he lets out a bark in my general direction and my nervous system goes nuts. A customer will think he's being funny and will question me again and again about something they KNOW I have no control over and it is all I can do to not stangle them. I think my trauma bond in childhood was my brother and grandmother. I married my grandma/brother. I think husband was trauma bonded to his parents - maybe. Idk. But I feel like he thinks I'm like his mom. But he doesn't behave like I do. Maybe he does what she did. Maybe he does like his dad did to her. But there's no apologies or trying to make anything right. Not emotionally.
I went for the toxic hot and cold my whole life and all my relationships, my current relatiobship started that way, but then that dynamic stopped, we changed and healed a lot and now i dont get any ups and downs, its very flat and stable. its my longest relationship, 2 and a half years, he loves me so kindly and ive never had that. but now my brain tells me to leave and that i lost feelings and arent attracted, but i feel like its bc i miss the unhealthy crumbs. but then im confused if its self sabotage or if its actually my intuition telling me this isnt going to work and i just dont want to leave. now what? i cant find any content for " after getting out of unhealthy and into healthy"
My son is in a trauma bond with his narcissistic girlfriend/ex girlfriend..he keeps going back. I did not treat him like you described. He wasn't raised around his father. He is also an alcoholic. I always showed live to my kids. Not in crumbs. I don't know what to do. She abuses him physically..mentally and emotionally
Exactly what my mom did. I actually felt shame when people throughout my life would treat me poorly or be cold, and I would try to "be better". Then my mom moved closer to me after I had children, and the abuse started again. It took me about 8 years to figure it out. Your videos have been a part of my healing journey. Now she's out of my life and I'm focused on loving my inner child and feeling amazing. Thank you Michelle!!
I think it's being hot 🔥 and cold 🥶 the ups and the downs, and the breadcrumbs, that leaves you stuck, and the soul ties.👍 Michele and survivors and thrivers 🙏
I can actually feel the anxiety that I felt when my best friend got mad at me and wouldn't speak to me (we were both in our 20's) and I had gone home and had a complete panic attack with constant vomiting and shaking and trying to figure out what I can do to make it right. It was exactly what I went through with my mom when she would be mad at me, such a horrible time. Thank you Michelle for your video's, everything you talk about is so spot on with what I've been through and how I feel 50 years later.
Yes, as she says, I have found that I try harder with people, especially men, when they are toxic. It feels weirdly codependent in such an automatic way.. ugh..
This is the best explanation I've ever heard. It is difficult to reflect on my experiences and have them described in such astounding clarity within your presentation. I've never heard anyone else explain trauna bonding as succinctly and accurately as this. I'm shook 😳 its like you looked inside my brain and told the basic outline of my life story, minutes the multiple autoimmune diseases that started a decade ago and are now killing me in my 40s.
Overt, Covert, psychopath. That's what really made me comment. Everything here is dead on... I don't know what I'd do without your videos..
Years now, your videos are what connected the dots.💯💯💯💯🙏🏼🎄🌠🥺🥺Merry Christmas.
Great video. You explained the trauma bond connection very well. Thanks for sharing.
Crumbs never felt good to me, I always left crumbs right there.
I was literally advertising for a trauma bond before therapy and had no idea. I thought if only someone could just love me.
This is exactly what my mum done to me and my twin sister. She would praise me and put emm adorn I hate that. Then she would go on about me cleaning Cooke studying I got all honours in my leaving , junior cert. My twin gave up 6wk before graduation. She was becoming Co dependent on her boyfriend then my fiance of we yr I was never allowed honour with my mother told me she kill herself if I stayed with Thomas.
She ended up in a.e telling us we was no good bitches. Emotional abuse.
People pleaser I became
And then my mum ran away afraid after house went on fire . She was lost in feR over my twin sis had a stalker and he set our mum home on fire 🔥after 6wk of knowing my sis.
Now I'm free healing nd learning to open with grief Thomas my fiance died 12yrs together he dies on my arms 💔😢sudden adult death syndrome 33yrs. I was 26yr old.
My 2nd died to after 6yrs larwarce
He was great at beginning but then he turned on me after we lost our baby 11half was pregnant then his grand da died so he took it of on me. Silent treatment. False assumption blamed in wrong. I started get ill over him. Seziers panic attacks .I'm 4yr alone now I suffer addiction to cope now I'm 4yrs free thank Jesus but now. I'm aware since 19yrs old and I saw everyone s behaviours I thought I was in a nightmare wen I got home from from retreat of self awareness and behaviours.
Great video.i help ppl now. I see my trigger s and I'm Learning to cope. I was waking up vomiting 🤢just before my councillng session
You say it so clear, thank you! These are not easy things to explain. And so demanding to process. You have beautiful way of finding words to formulate what it is all about.
Michele I love u & I’ve followed u forever . I am an animal activist . It is considered the height of cruelty to torture animals & it is validating & encouraging to the abuser to site animal experiments / abuse & it enables it .!!! Please DO NOT EVER SITE animal experiments EVER ....... u will b enabling the abuse so I emplore u my beloved beautiful sister to never ever ever give them credibility please thank you ❤️
Thank you Michele, spot on! Clear, simple and powerful.
Idk what to do. I'll be honest. Idk why I lie to myself... I keep trying to not see what is so evident. Toxic asf and damaging on every level.
This is really well explained and accessible to everyone. Thanks for posting and also for staying on track 😊
I love your videos and I will say this is the best video you have ever made. It's like you were describing my life.. And someone finally made trauma bond clear and easy for me! Bless you and thankyou x
Michele I am so grateful for the help you have given me. But I am not very confident that I will even get close to being a real person. I am 51 and for several years have been caring for my maternal parent (vulnerable/covert)abuser. Discovered a few yrs ago it was not me. Feel like I have woken up in a cult,alone. Knowledge is power but sometimes it’s more of a reality check. The magnitude of my issues,no self identity,misfit,nobody to no one….the more clarity I have just seems to increase my despair and dysregulation. The injustice,unfairness and no chance of responsibility or accountability sometimes makes it hard to breathe. And I don’t even want to anyway. I have no people,no support,not welcome wherever I go. Educating myself has ultimately backfired and is overwhelming. Reaching out for assistance has been invalidating and pointless. Feel like rabbit in headlights. Mostly just primal agony and despair.
Bless you and yours Michele🙏you have a beautiful,compassionate and generous spirit👼💙thank you💕🙏
Hi Michele in your courses is there any one of them that helps to break the trauma bond maybe the trauma induced codependany maybe?
So how do we uproot the core beliefs, issues, subconscious memories that cause this? Was with a person With borderline personality disorder for almost 20 years and Most of the last five years With a female covert narcissist...
Yes this is so true
I married someone like my mother but on a level of his psychopathy convert malignant and machiavelli.
I've been in a disciplined daily recovery, learning myself over the last 3 years and finally regulating my nervous system programming.
Finally breaking into my authentic me.
Thank you Michelle.
You're an inspiration for so many!❤️
Wow. Just wow! Explained so well. It finally clicked in my brain how I got trauma bonded to my ex partner who at the very least has many narcissistic traits. That hot and cold stuff and breadcrumbs after the love bombing phase kept me in a trauma bond state for 3 years. I couldn't figure out why I stayed so long because I left several other relationships that weren't in my best interest with no problems. I am now 4 months removed from my last relationship. It has been a huge struggle but finally went no contact 2 months ago. So hard, but I'm doing it.
Tbh your so beautiful 😍❤️
Eerily; this is the story of my life.
I continued to wind up with worse relationships.
Mom was controlling.
Then Peggy lied to police.
Then Nancy was a psychopath and had a PHd in psychology.
Lost millions and my sanity.
How do I fix “core wounds?”
I needed this today. In the process of restructuring boundaries with my mom and so this holiday is going to be very stressful for me since my mom and two other narc family members are loud and aggressive. I keep panicking.
Hi Michele, thank you for your videos. I would like to attend your school of transformation. What is the coupon number?
So well explained, many thanks !
I'm trauma bonded. I don't sleep in our bed but sometimes one of the kids ends up crashed on the couch (my bed) and I do. A couple of early mornings ago he started to snuggle up to me and it felt so good for a minute and my head said "no. You are getting a scooby snack. Get out of bed." So I got up and started my day.
Brilliant! 💖
There is a link between this topic and people not wanting to go back to their place of employment , very simply put most work places are toxic.
Ugh. After 15 years of housewifing I got a job. I have 4 bosses and hundreds of customers a day. A boss is similar to husband. Or it's just his bark. But either way, he lets out a bark in my general direction and my nervous system goes nuts. A customer will think he's being funny and will question me again and again about something they KNOW I have no control over and it is all I can do to not stangle them.
I think my trauma bond in childhood was my brother and grandmother. I married my grandma/brother. I think husband was trauma bonded to his parents - maybe. Idk. But I feel like he thinks I'm like his mom. But he doesn't behave like I do. Maybe he does what she did. Maybe he does like his dad did to her. But there's no apologies or trying to make anything right. Not emotionally.
Wow
🙏🏻
I went for the toxic hot and cold my whole life and all my relationships, my current relatiobship started that way, but then that dynamic stopped, we changed and healed a lot and now i dont get any ups and downs, its very flat and stable. its my longest relationship, 2 and a half years, he loves me so kindly and ive never had that. but now my brain tells me to leave and that i lost feelings and arent attracted, but i feel like its bc i miss the unhealthy crumbs. but then im confused if its self sabotage or if its actually my intuition telling me this isnt going to work and i just dont want to leave. now what? i cant find any content for " after getting out of unhealthy and into healthy"
My son is in a trauma bond with his narcissistic girlfriend/ex girlfriend..he keeps going back. I did not treat him like you described. He wasn't raised around his father. He is also an alcoholic. I always showed live to my kids. Not in crumbs. I don't know what to do. She abuses him physically..mentally and emotionally
He didn't grow up that way though
bedragare