I’m glad I got it right. Thanks for your encouragement! Sorry for my delayed response. I’ve been away from TH-cam for several weeks … creating my new website: www.AWiseWomansGuide.com I hope you will stop by to check it out.
This is really good advice. It was hard (at first) to tell my husband what I wanted. He finally got across to me that he desperately wanted to bless me but it was hard because he didn't really know what I wanted (and was afraid to get it wrong?). And could I please tell him. I finally realized it was a love act to tell him 💕💕
I ignore anything that may be a hint because if I get it wrong, it could be very bad for me. She could be only playing a joke on me, which is usually the case.
It sometimes has to do more with leadership. It's expected of all bosses who see something that has to be done but who don't have the time to do it themselves, to tell a subordinate "this needs to be done, please do it, and report back Friday". If the boss doesn't, that's bad leadership. At the same time many bosses want to hire only "self-going" employees, that are full-fledged from day one and don't need to be given orders. A perfect example of "having the cake and eating it". Bad leadership. cheers! / CS (This time, I hope I'm in the right forum with this post.)
Why they should? i won't be more easly if the womans instead of having a childish behavior and throw hints, say the things straightfoward like a growing adults? why the mans have to bother trying to understand their hints? they make the things more hard that the necesary.
some men can't hear it, sometimes the tables are reversed They can't or don't want to hear it. Surreal, really. I need a man who respects a kind, honest and direct woman who respect herself and likes her own space and time to herself too. A man who can listen as well as he appreciates being heard.
Most of the time their behaviors aren't even hints. They have womanly feelings about something , they think men are aware of these feelings, they vaguely reference these feelings, and when men don't respond the right way, the women think the man is being rude. Women behave like they're trying to get you to guess Rumpelstiltskin's name without saying it outright. They'll do anything and everything except be direct, because it seems to cause them unfathomable pain and agony. Stop measuring my love for you based on how well I can guess or predict what you want before you say it. _That is not real._
I was with someone decades ago who was oblivious to how different I was to other women and he was *expecting* me to be a hinter despite having been in my company for years, and it should have been obvious that was not my style. I am a direct person. Back then I leaned a little to being meek and submissive but was nonetheless still direct. Until his own behavior forced me to choke back my transparent and honest communication style. I had zero desire to get married at that time, and was strongly under the impression that after 4 years we were growing apart and moving in very divergent directions (when earlier we'd had more compatible ideas of our futures). He was talking about moving to a big city to continue education and I was not silent about the topic. I encouraged him to follow his dreams. And stated I was not going to go there with him. He decided to stay where we were and go to grad school. He changed career trajectory and asked me how I'd like to host dinner parties for powerful men. I was agape that he even had to ask, and told him in very clear terms how disinterested I was in doing it, and, that he wouldn't like the conversations I'd start with *those* men he was referring to either. Nonetheless ..... and I found out much later, against the advice of a mutual friend who was one of his best friends, he proposed to me after staging a party under false pretenses with over 20 people we knew at a friend's house. I was the only person who was unaware. Until the second he reached for his pocket and the weird off kilter thing I had not been able to identify for hours finally came into clarity and horror washed over me. It went against every cell of my being but I couldn't humiliate him or put all those people in an awkward af situation. A group of girls saw through my shocked facade though, even though he didn't, and they mercifully swooped in and then dragged me out onto the deck under the pretense of fawning over the "happy bride-to-be" and over admiring the ring. The ways girls are stereotypically expected to behave. It worked, I could breathe out there. And while the girls carried on, creating space for me, I had the ability to silently (in my mind) try to come to terms with the predicament I was in, and to gain composure to finish the night, recognizing that later (another day and time, *privately),* I could sort out how to address the matter. As painlessly for others as was possible. After he finally would listen to me (you won't believe how long that took), and would let me ask him what I needed to understand, he told me he was certain I had dropped a hint that I wanted him to propose. [I'm convinced now that he wanted to get married for a handful of his own reasons and merely thought I was suitable -or something. Hell if I know.] He told me flat out, after I had to work really hard to get an honest and *simple* straight forward conversation, that he took a 100% random insignificant chat comment I'd made (as we walked past a Champagne display), as a dropped hint about getting married. Makes *no* sense. I'd wondered aloud if the alcohol could possibly be so much better than others that it'd be worth the price difference. I was literally expressing skepticism and mild curiosity, about if you spent that kind of money more than once, whether it would be merely due to status symbol dynamics, or, if it was instead that the quality and experience was so much better that the value derived was purely in quality of the product itself. And he didn't hear that. He heard, she wants to marry me.
I wonder where the women who do it get this: "Most of the time their behaviors aren't even hints. They have womanly feelings about something , they think men are aware of these feelings, they vaguely reference these feelings, and when men don't respond the right way, the women think the man is being rude. Women behave like they're trying to get you to guess Rumpelstiltskin's name without saying it outright. They'll do anything and everything except be direct," Are they getting brainwashed from some trash magazines or what? It seems to transcend generations from Boomer to maybe even GenZ? It's a mystery to me too, and I'm all woman, born and bred. I always had a few female friends. Had male friends too until teens and I was stunned when I found out (in a difficult way) that they didn't see me as a friend but as a sex object.
@@sparkythancztwise To me is very disturbing knowing that people that aren't related in any way have so similar behaviors, maybe it's something related with the diferences in the brain?
@@robertcastel1565 That depends a bit, or "for certain values of related", as some would say. In the beginning God created Adam and Eve. Therefore we are all descendants of Adam and Eve. Therefore we are all related to each other. On top of that, God created Eve from one of Adam's ribs, which means that Adam and Eve have the exact same gene setup. Talk about being inbred. We are all descendants of one and the same clone. No wonder we are having problems. The only one with any of what the young'uns call agency is God. I doubt it if He is going to come out and say "mea culpa, mea maxima culpa". cheers! / CS
It would be good if women could speak directly instead of vague, hints.
I am a guy Thank you for these words. You are so right on.
I’m glad I got it right. Thanks for your encouragement! Sorry for my delayed response. I’ve been away from TH-cam for several weeks … creating my new website: www.AWiseWomansGuide.com I hope you will stop by to check it out.
@@DrDebiSmith so why is it that women always think men are mind readers though
This is really good advice. It was hard (at first) to tell my husband what I wanted. He finally got across to me that he desperately wanted to bless me but it was hard because he didn't really know what I wanted (and was afraid to get it wrong?). And could I please tell him. I finally realized it was a love act to tell him 💕💕
If men get it wrong we might face serious social and legal consequences. Don't play games.
The answer is that we are two different species. Don't talk? No one Knows!
I ignore anything that may be a hint because if I get it wrong, it could be very bad for me. She could be only playing a joke on me, which is usually the case.
It sometimes has to do more with leadership. It's expected of all bosses who see something that has to be done but who don't have the time to do it themselves, to tell a subordinate "this needs to be done, please do it, and report back Friday". If the boss doesn't, that's bad leadership. At the same time many bosses want to hire only "self-going" employees, that are full-fledged from day one and don't need to be given orders. A perfect example of "having the cake and eating it". Bad leadership.
cheers! / CS
(This time, I hope I'm in the right forum with this post.)
Why they should? i won't be more easly if the womans instead of having a childish behavior and throw hints, say the things straightfoward like a growing adults? why the mans have to bother trying to understand their hints? they make the things more hard that the necesary.
We want communication not stupid childless games they play if you want to play games go get with your girlfriends but you women need to communicate
some men can't hear it, sometimes the tables are reversed
They can't or don't want to hear it.
Surreal, really.
I need a man who respects a kind, honest and direct woman who respect herself and likes her own space and time to herself too. A man who can listen as well as he appreciates being heard.
I'm a little less confused but still confused 🤔
Most of the time their behaviors aren't even hints. They have womanly feelings about something , they think men are aware of these feelings, they vaguely reference these feelings, and when men don't respond the right way, the women think the man is being rude.
Women behave like they're trying to get you to guess Rumpelstiltskin's name without saying it outright. They'll do anything and everything except be direct, because it seems to cause them unfathomable pain and agony. Stop measuring my love for you based on how well I can guess or predict what you want before you say it. _That is not real._
Those womans are so inmature and cowards.
I was with someone decades ago who was oblivious to how different I was to other women and he was *expecting* me to be a hinter despite having been in my company for years, and it should have been obvious that was not my style. I am a direct person. Back then I leaned a little to being meek and submissive but was nonetheless still direct. Until his own behavior forced me to choke back my transparent and honest communication style.
I had zero desire to get married at that time, and was strongly under the impression that after 4 years we were growing apart and moving in very divergent directions (when earlier we'd had more compatible ideas of our futures). He was talking about moving to a big city to continue education and I was not silent about the topic. I encouraged him to follow his dreams. And stated I was not going to go there with him. He decided to stay where we were and go to grad school. He changed career trajectory and asked me how I'd like to host dinner parties for powerful men. I was agape that he even had to ask, and told him in very clear terms how disinterested I was in doing it, and, that he wouldn't like the conversations I'd start with *those* men he was referring to either. Nonetheless ..... and I found out much later, against the advice of a mutual friend who was one of his best friends, he proposed to me after staging a party under false pretenses with over 20 people we knew at a friend's house. I was the only person who was unaware. Until the second he reached for his pocket and the weird off kilter thing I had not been able to identify for hours finally came into clarity and horror washed over me.
It went against every cell of my being but I couldn't humiliate him or put all those people in an awkward af situation.
A group of girls saw through my shocked facade though, even though he didn't, and they mercifully swooped in and then dragged me out onto the deck under the pretense of fawning over the "happy bride-to-be" and over admiring the ring. The ways girls are stereotypically expected to behave. It worked, I could breathe out there. And while the girls carried on, creating space for me, I had the ability to silently (in my mind) try to come to terms with the predicament I was in, and to gain composure to finish the night, recognizing that later (another day and time, *privately),* I could sort out how to address the matter. As painlessly for others as was possible.
After he finally would listen to me (you won't believe how long that took), and would let me ask him what I needed to understand, he told me he was certain I had dropped a hint that I wanted him to propose. [I'm convinced now that he wanted to get married for a handful of his own reasons and merely thought I was suitable -or something. Hell if I know.] He told me flat out, after I had to work really hard to get an honest and *simple* straight forward conversation, that he took a 100% random insignificant chat comment I'd made (as we walked past a Champagne display), as a dropped hint about getting married. Makes *no* sense. I'd wondered aloud if the alcohol could possibly be so much better than others that it'd be worth the price difference. I was literally expressing skepticism and mild curiosity, about if you spent that kind of money more than once, whether it would be merely due to status symbol dynamics, or, if it was instead that the quality and experience was so much better that the value derived was purely in quality of the product itself. And he didn't hear that. He heard, she wants to marry me.
I wonder where the women who do it get this:
"Most of the time their behaviors aren't even hints. They have womanly feelings about something , they think men are aware of these feelings, they vaguely reference these feelings, and when men don't respond the right way, the women think the man is being rude.
Women behave like they're trying to get you to guess Rumpelstiltskin's name without saying it outright. They'll do anything and everything except be direct,"
Are they getting brainwashed from some trash magazines or what? It seems to transcend generations from Boomer to maybe even GenZ? It's a mystery to me too, and I'm all woman, born and bred.
I always had a few female friends. Had male friends too until teens and I was stunned when I found out (in a difficult way) that they didn't see me as a friend but as a sex object.
@@sparkythancztwise To me is very disturbing knowing that people that aren't related in any way have so similar behaviors, maybe it's something related with the diferences in the brain?
@@robertcastel1565 That depends a bit, or "for certain values of related", as some would say.
In the beginning God created Adam and Eve. Therefore we are all descendants of Adam and Eve. Therefore we are all related to each other. On top of that, God created Eve from one of Adam's ribs, which means that Adam and Eve have the exact same gene setup. Talk about being inbred. We are all descendants of one and the same clone. No wonder we are having problems. The only one with any of what the young'uns call agency is God. I doubt it if He is going to come out and say "mea culpa, mea maxima culpa". cheers! / CS
Gee i guess we really are different
Sometimes the men just don't care !!!!!!!!
For goodness sakes, don’t give hints!!!
Don’t play this stupid manipulative childish mind games. Blooming talk. communication is important….Groan….