Yeah, exactly. With those examples she gave, you can always have a conversation with your friend, wishing them a late happy birthday, or go into school as an adult. The shit I regret has literally fucked up my psyche (which, yes, may be fixable with years of therapy) AND “tained” me in society’s eyes so to say. The crap I did will forever make people suspicious of me.
This helped me so much, im currently dealing with regret for something i deeply wish i didnt do but i am human and i make mistakes. Im learning from it and i will never do it again. Thank you. 💜
Exactly: we cannot go back. That's what's killing me. And I'm not talking about regretting a decision made years ago based on what we had that only involves us. I regret having expressed my feelings to my ex when I was supposed to keep things cool between us. Now he doesn't talk to me. I should have kept my mouth shut and just let time resolve things, but no, instead, I had to confess my feelings for him even though he no longer wanted me, because I couldn't hold it and thought it would be so romantic he'll fall for me too - I'm old enough to know you should NEVER confess your feelings! And now he hates me. He thinks I'm a lunatic, crazy, toxic, needy person and blocked me. How do you overcome that? I'll have to see this guy everyday and deal with my shame and stupidity.
Yes, you cannot go back but also the scale of your mistake may seem big to you now because you still have feelings for this person but when these feelings fade over time/become manageable within the routine of your life you will realize that this is not a deadly mistake.This is just one person.There are a lot of people whom you can have a similar connection with. Plus a confession should never be a regret. You had feelings and you told them. If you had to hide your feelings from a person, that person is simply not for you. Keeping your mouth shut could’ve helped you in the short run but in the long run something else would have definitely come up. So I think in your situation it was best that it ended when it did because how many times can you keep your mouth shut until you completely burst? aren’t you human too?
I was regretting everything I did to my Ex-GF and was suffering. But watching your video helps alot. Yes I am not the same person I was back then and I realized that regret is coming from my hindsight! Thank you!
Same here dude, glad you got some help from this video. It's been a couple of years and it still haunts me. Treated someone badly who only ever treated me well and never deserved it. Every day I wish I could go back and change what I did, to take away the hurt I caused. They have moved on and I have more than learnt my lesson, but the regret still lingers. I can't even apologise because it would probably only cause more hurt and I don't have a right to suddenly contact out of the blue. I take full responsibility and I know I have to live with it, but I do have a hard time with the hindsight and acceptance points explained in the video. If anyone is reading this please learn from these mistakes: don't ever treat someone badly, especially one you love and who loves you.
Does it ever go away? I never realized what I had until it was gone for good. I replay everything I could have done differently in my head 24/7. It’s my first thought when I wake up and my last before I go to sleep. I’ll never find someone like her and it sucks. I won’t let it happen again if I get the chance with someone else
What about regretting about missed opportunities? I’ve been having difficulties moving on from a missed opportunity before and it feels like I am already running out of time when I already had the grasp of that opportunity. I keep on repeating and repeating the the thought “what if I’ve known it before, would it have been different now?” in my mind and I can’t move on
Hi, I’m going through the same thing. Life is always full of new opportunities, allow life to bring you more. Forgive yourself, because you might be upset at yourself for not taking it. You’re human, we make mistakes. There’s no use on thinking about the past, you’re hurting yourself, self love is not hurting yourself like this and to not be tormenting yourself with your own thoughts! It might be difficult but understand your pain, take a couple positive perspective from it, and then decide to stop thinking about it. Give it time until your mind stops thinking about it naturally
Made a medication error with my little dog, she was my heart, she had to be put down. I tell my therapist I'm fine because I can't even talk about it yet. The Doctor was very helpful! Nothing fixes a thing so firmly in the memory.....as the wish to forget it. 🙏
And you said it (error) you did not purposely hurt your baby...mistakes happen...its hard when a mistake means losing the one we love cause we can never make ammends...but moving forward you'll do so much better....I know your pain I lost my fur baby a month ago and I regret and cry everyday I didn't take her to the vet sooner...is why I'm here looking for ways to heal...and it's true hindsight can really play tricks on your mind because she was acting normal in until the day she passed...but here I am nevertheless feeling guilty I should've picked up on any little sign...I may not have medicated her wrongfully but I do feel like I ended it for her based on my decision...but none of my regrets can change that now except keep.me sad and depressed...and.reality is that in order to move on and live and not just exist..we must let go of the things that are holding us.prisoners in our minds...
Well I've learned an important lesson from my regret. Don't let your anger ruin a moment. Control my anger and think about what will happen next if I get mad and uncontrolled.
In freshman year I did track. Although I wasn’t good at it, I completed the season. But all my friends and family told me not to continue it.. even thought I enjoyed it. I’m a senior now, and have so much regret. Thank you for this video.
I really love your healthy approach towards emotions! Not viewing them as good or bad, but rather, just neutral and with a PURPOSE. Thank you this helped me sooo much just subscribed :)
I regret something i did as a child.. I didn't know much then, but i made some animals that i love feel pain.. And it hurts me so damn much, i wish i knew what i did but i didn't. It's like an endless loop of regret. I can't forget the pain those animals have gone through. Today i know very well and deeply, but as a child I didn't know animals felt pain..
Hey it’s okay! You didn’t know. I did something when I was younger and I regret a lot.. I knew it wasn’t right. And I just regret it so much but I’m trying to improve.
Thank you for sharing this video I was dealing with so much regret I could’ve been with somebody if I notice more looking back. I let myself get in the way it absolutely destroys me, got depressed, lost body weight cause I wasn’t eating. I feel like a clown. I want to tell her my regret. But she seeing someone... I don’t know... I value the friendship a lot.
Thank you for this, I regret leaving my prom 5 minutes too early and not noticing my friend's call because after that, they had to take a final class photo without me and I really wish I was apart of that!
I had a regretful situation happen to me today that I couldn't reconcile in head. I went to youtube for tips on how to deal with regret and yours is the first video I watched and I really lucked out finding you. Your advice helped me to gain perspective and stop "should-ing" on myself. I can really get carried away with shame. After watching the video, I was able to dive into the event, find my regrets and make a list of things to do to make sure that doesn't happen again. Now, I must follow through. Thank you for your sound advice and for showing me a path to peace.
How does one cope with regret from doing something they knew was wrong but their feelings overpowered their logic and reasoning and did it anyway? That's what I'm dealing with. I deal with it on and off. And I will do so for the rest of my life on top of other regrets. But the thing I regret the most was something I had control over yet the way I felt at the time completely took over any rational part of me that existed. And I've only ever told one person about it, that being my mom. Who the one time I told her, told me she thought I was making the whole thing a lot worse in my head than it really was. And for a while I thought so too. But then I thought well what if that's just one of those things mom's say and she's just minimizing it. And this thing I regret, I know it will pop up in my head over and over and over until the day I die. But I also don't like the moments like I'm in right now, where I sit here telling myself how bad of a person I am over one stupid thing I did as a teenager. And even though I'll regret that moment forever, sometimes that regret completely takes over me for months at a time sometimes. I'm 30 now. And I'd like to move on from it. Because I know I'm a good person, but this one thing always makes the normal good me feel like I'm not. And I'm not sure how to manage that.
How do you deal with the fact that others WILL judge you for the stuff that you regret? Like seriously, this stuff is eating me alive. I did stuff that most would frown heavily upon and is generally considered immoral.
These tips are really helpful. I'm currently regretting a mistake I made with a neighbour/friend which i feel really bad about, so will try to apply your suggestions! Thanks Allison
@@DrAllisonAnswers Please Dr Allison , i hope that you see and respond to my comment. I am a 28 yo man that gets regreted very quickly! Any advice besides those in the video? pls im dying , i cant handle it anymore. The last regret was insulting my little brother and really harmed his emotions and now buying a phone that i liked it at the beggining but now i think i didnt need it ! Pls reply Dr Allison. Just say whatever you want , but reply cuz im dying inside
You understand so much.. i made a wrong choice in my uni major. I clearly dont have the talent, took 7 years to finish, really suck at my job, and get really anxious in doing the job as well. I dont work full time because of my anxiety, so i get very low income. Feeling ashamed to meet old friends. Ashamed to look for someone to date too. im single and pretty much jobless. Still trying to apply for other jobs, but u know these days its hard to change your career esp if the uni major is too specific like mine. I will try to follow your advice though its not going to be easy..
Wow! I'm amazed by your knowledge, presentation and beautiful aura! I am so happy that I found you and the timing was perfect at 64 years old! You are a breath of fresh air and I am full of Gratitude! Thank you very much! ♥️
I’m feeling so much pain, I turned down a life changing job opportunity through procrastination but it was too late to go back. I cannot believe how painful it feels, immediately after saying no I knew it was wrong.
I’ve spent so much money on other stuff rather than driving lessons etc that i should have spent it on, i need to make some money back somehow but don’t know how, i’ll look for a job after new years but until then i’m going to have to be scared and anxious, this video relaxed me a little though
I got a whole lot of Regrets some ranging from mild to ultra spicy and "Why the fuck would you think/do that?!? THATS FUCKING ILLEGAL AND IMMORAL AND INCREDIBLY STUPID!"
I DONT LIKE MYSELF FOR WHAT I DID TO MYSELF MANY YEARS AGO AS A YOUNG MOM, I ACTED WAY TOO HASTILY AND DIDNT LISTEN TO MY SPOUSE WHO IS A WONDERFUL PERSON! IT WAS JUST STUPID AND VERY WRONG! I really need to focus on the here and now and the many and truly blessings in my life, this planet is not my eternal home! 😢
I was drawn into this video right from jump. I've been a miserable son of a bitch lately but the way Dr Allison said Regret Sucks... It actually made me laugh. The problem that I have is that my regrets haunt me. I don't choose to think about it or let them camp out. They slip into my mind like a little gremlin and torment me. I know that this is a childish emotion but I sure do wish that I could have a do-over. It's going to take quite some time to heal this wound, and yes that sucks indeed. Anyway thanks for the laugh.
I feel you hurt I sold my house in Early 9:44 2020 and new I made a mistake ...Now I am dealing with what could have been if I waited 6 months.. I lost so much money selling early .. Hard to get over that .
Good video........Regret comes and goes but when it is here, it is really painful. There was that song years ago titled "What a Fool Believes"......Even after many years I'm going to try and find her.
my parents asked me if I wanted to move to us about a year and a half ago, I said yes and I regret it so much because I used to live a good life in Colombia and I had friends, and here I can count all of my friends in one hand and I only have one. I used to be a really cheerful funny person and now I'm so depressed. But i feel like my situation is different because i feel like if i let go of that regret im going to forget the good days or idk
Hey, well try me. I was once taken to my boss's office--with her and her chef colleague--for touching my coworkers too much ( *_casually,_* on arms or shoulders). I was always very outgoing and tactile at work. The chef told me that we need the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment. That I shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school or tell my stories, because they may be inappropriate or upsetting (can't remember her exact words) to others. Now yeah, I pretty much didn't have a filter, but I don't think I said anything *_horrible._* I only meant to have fun with my crew. I really didn't get specific information from the chef about subjects and references. She likes that I'm outgoing, but she made it sound risky and in need of limits. And again, that I shouldn't touch anyone without consent. I own my mistakes at work, but I don't want anyone twisting it around into I'm making the chef the only bad guy. I didn't _mean_ any harm or discomfort. If I had known anyone would feel either, (though technically no one showed signs), I would _not_ have touched them. I am not a creep. But the chef made me feel like one. See, she shouldn’t have been so firm and in my face. A gentle, respectful talk for a couple minutes was all I needed. She shouldn’t have restricted me to handshakes only. Casual taps or pats or whatever are actually ok, as long as you don’t overdo them and it’s to friendly people who clearly enjoy you. I always thought it was perfectly innocent and natural, and I still do, in certain ways. Happens a lot at the bar parties I go to-total strangers. Besides, two middle-aged workers from the dining department have done it to me; I don’t condemn it. Also, the chef did not have to ask my boss if there was anything she wanted to add. How did she think that would make me feel? Not disrespected and like a criminal? HeII, my boss shouldn’t have been in the room at all; I deserved some dignity and comfort. I felt horrible. But of course, whenever I expressed this side on other videos, people would continue faulting me or saying the chef was right. To them, it was this side over the other. I felt like no one understood me or the gray areas I still think exist.
I'm not sure if I want to let go of my regret. It is a painful reminder of all the bad things I've done. I am not okay with what I've done, but at least I can learn from it. It is just sometimes it gets overwhelming.
Everyone’s talking about what they said etc. I have a lot of regret about what I didn’t say and a lot of frustration towards what treatment I tolerated. While I don’t feel ashamed I am annoyed at myself for what was possibly cowardice. The problem is I am not sure if I can overcome this cowardice
I honestly don’t want to tell you what I regret. It’s very stupid and embarrassing. Let’s just say, it wasn’t in real life, it was in a game and it didn’t involve something I or someone else said.
How can I recover from shame? I have made decisions that have isolated me from my children, this was not my plan but still the result. Regret and shame are my daily reality, I have apologized and I am trying to work my way back into their lives. The feedback is not what I had hoped for, I plan on staying the course but I can’t shake the Devastation that I feel, I worked hard my whole life to do what I thought was the right thing to do but as it turns out I had it wrong somehow all I keep saying to myself is “ you truly did your best “ but it wasn’t good enough. Now what?
this was very helpful, this might sound stupid but i spent 10 dollars on robux, but the sad thing is that it was money my grandma gave me on easter, and i spent it straight away and used it for a stupid thing. overall this video was helpful.
Someone please answer. I’m going through a bad stage in my life and I quit a job the day I work and left her high and dry. I’m her only worker… I have so much regret!!!!! Please help
I regret reaching late for my sister's graduation party. I wish I had reached on time. I missed her speech and many other aspects of the function! What should I do? I feel very bad. Most of the pictures taken,I wasn't in them. It's painful. I'm hurting deeply!
Hi Dr. Alison, your videos have helped me a lot to stay positive and have changed my attitude towards certain things in life. So thank you! Currently, something is really bothering me. Can you please tell me how to deal with someone who apologizes for the same mistake, but doesn't change their behavior??? I neep your help. Thanks
But all of this doesnt get me my crush back.. I mean maybe when it happens i know what i dont want to do, but still. I dont think ill get a second chance here and i feel it every day. Have been feeling it for 3 years. EDIT: guess point 3 applies ._. ill try, thanks.
Hi doc My name is Gerald Randolph. Have a big problem with regrets and selfishness. Am dating and my date stays happy but in the heart hurt and I regret this feeling I put her into. It makes me feel she's not in love with me. What can I do to put my relationship in the right position
i have a question and i hope i get an optimistic answer from you. Do you think or even know whether people who have suffered from domestic violence and child sexual abuse are eligible for asylum in other countries? Not necessarily US. i found myself so impulsive deciding to do this. i’m so stuck in my environment and I don’t fit in at all. Mental health is soo stigmatized and i have no trust in the services anyways. Ppl like me just don’t matter and I believed it for so long. I have no support... i live in constant fear and insecurity. i never open up about anything and i feel so isolated. I don’t wanna see myself in ten years cuz i’m withering already. Thank you for your content, always. i relate to this in social situations and also the whole decision thing i’m so impulsive to do. But i’ve never ever done something for myself and to choose myself.
I wish I had an informed and helpful response to your question about asylum, but unfortunately, that's an area I'm not super knowledgeable in. There may be some online resources about this, but I don't know any off the top of my head. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful here. I know no words can provide instant comfort or change your experience or situation, so I won't try. But I will say that you matter. You being on this earth matters. And you're probably so much stronger than you think. I hope my channel can serve as a source of light for you, even when times are tough. Sending encouragement your way today!
Dr. Allison Answers thank you so much tho! it is tough and unimaginable. I’ve been researching and I’m optimistic even tho things might not go well but still, there’s a chance it will go well. it’s worth the risk anyway. Idk if you talked about this before on your channel but i hope you make videos about relationships in general and attachments in depth. it’s controlling my life how difficult it is to form connections n being okey with closeness therefore it’s so challenging to establish a support system. Thank youu
What if it’s better for a kid to just say tell an adult and it would go away but you would get in trouble and you don’t want to tell just get over it thx doc:)
Well the part of the puzzle your education has not provided you is that regret is more than emotional. Personally many of my past decisions of regret manifest themselves perpetually the rest of your life in either physical damage to your body which I'm still paying for and or financial loss that still cost me every month to this day for the rest of my life. So don't tell me that regret is something you can just wish Away by pretend like it's a good thing
Everyday I see beautiful girls in the street and I never take the opportunity to speak with them, and then I regret it all day...and I'm sad. And the next day, it's the same, again and again...
I'm only here because im drunk... Boys ususally don't get emotional. But it was a helpful video though... I got in bed with a girl that i didn't love and she didn't love me, and now my virginity is lost and wasted, (what happened was a mistake) I would do anything to "undo" that decision, but done is done, and it's in the past so there's nothing i can do about it. I regret it so much... It's almost been 1,5 years but i still can't get past it. The same "event" keeps "replaying" in my mind and each time it does: I don't know what to do, but i keep on blaming myself for what happened.
Regret has simply been the story of my life since I was in high school. Thank you Dr. Allison for helping me move forward today with your video. Although there is no quick fix for me, I can clearly see that I have a lot of work to do. ❤️🩹
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 88 | คู่เอก "ป้อมเพชร vs อัสลามจอน"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1ZqTVVbMgbo/mqdefault.jpg)
The worst regret is the kind where you don't have a chance to do a "redo". I agree with you we have to accept it and move on.
The worst regret is too when you know you knew better, but you didn’t do better
Yeah, exactly. With those examples she gave, you can always have a conversation with your friend, wishing them a late happy birthday, or go into school as an adult. The shit I regret has literally fucked up my psyche (which, yes, may be fixable with years of therapy) AND “tained” me in society’s eyes so to say. The crap I did will forever make people suspicious of me.
This helped me so much, im currently dealing with regret for something i deeply wish i didnt do but i am human and i make mistakes. Im learning from it and i will never do it again. Thank you. 💜
I hope and pray God sends you peace, I'm so sorry! I just take it a day at a time!
@@jeffreyferral3827 Thank you so much 💕
same
Exactly: we cannot go back. That's what's killing me. And I'm not talking about regretting a decision made years ago based on what we had that only involves us.
I regret having expressed my feelings to my ex when I was supposed to keep things cool between us. Now he doesn't talk to me. I should have kept my mouth shut and just let time resolve things, but no, instead, I had to confess my feelings for him even though he no longer wanted me, because I couldn't hold it and thought it would be so romantic he'll fall for me too - I'm old enough to know you should NEVER confess your feelings!
And now he hates me. He thinks I'm a lunatic, crazy, toxic, needy person and blocked me. How do you overcome that? I'll have to see this guy everyday and deal with my shame and stupidity.
Yes, you cannot go back but also the scale of your mistake may seem big to you now because you still have feelings for this person but when these feelings fade over time/become manageable within the routine of your life you will realize that this is not a deadly mistake.This is just one person.There are a lot of people whom you can have a similar connection with. Plus a confession should never be a regret. You had feelings and you told them. If you had to hide your feelings from a person, that person is simply not for you. Keeping your mouth shut could’ve helped you in the short run but in the long run something else would have definitely come up. So I think in your situation it was best that it ended when it did because how many times can you keep your mouth shut until you completely burst? aren’t you human too?
How does this video only have 700 views??!? This is one of the most helpful videos I’ve ever watched thank you so much
I was regretting everything I did to my Ex-GF and was suffering. But watching your video helps alot. Yes I am not the same person I was back then and I realized that regret is coming from my hindsight! Thank you!
Same here dude, glad you got some help from this video.
It's been a couple of years and it still haunts me. Treated someone badly who only ever treated me well and never deserved it. Every day I wish I could go back and change what I did, to take away the hurt I caused. They have moved on and I have more than learnt my lesson, but the regret still lingers. I can't even apologise because it would probably only cause more hurt and I don't have a right to suddenly contact out of the blue. I take full responsibility and I know I have to live with it, but I do have a hard time with the hindsight and acceptance points explained in the video.
If anyone is reading this please learn from these mistakes: don't ever treat someone badly, especially one you love and who loves you.
@@JJDoggett facts. going through this exact same thing, it will probably haunt me forever.
Does it ever go away? I never realized what I had until it was gone for good. I replay everything I could have done differently in my head 24/7. It’s my first thought when I wake up and my last before I go to sleep. I’ll never find someone like her and it sucks. I won’t let it happen again if I get the chance with someone else
What about regretting about missed opportunities? I’ve been having difficulties moving on from a missed opportunity before and it feels like I am already running out of time when I already had the grasp of that opportunity. I keep on repeating and repeating the the thought “what if I’ve known it before, would it have been different now?” in my mind and I can’t move on
You have to accept what ALLAH Decreed.
Hi, I’m going through the same thing. Life is always full of new opportunities, allow life to bring you more. Forgive yourself, because you might be upset at yourself for not taking it. You’re human, we make mistakes. There’s no use on thinking about the past, you’re hurting yourself, self love is not hurting yourself like this and to not be tormenting yourself with your own thoughts! It might be difficult but understand your pain, take a couple positive perspective from it, and then decide to stop thinking about it. Give it time until your mind stops thinking about it naturally
@@briedess55 you don't know how much this made me feel better. Thank you for validating my feeling
I have constant regret on the smallest things, thank you this means a lot.
You're so welcome!
Me too
It can turn into OCD, be careful
Me too
Made a medication error with my little dog, she was my heart, she had to be put down. I tell my therapist I'm fine because I can't even talk about it yet. The Doctor was very helpful! Nothing fixes a thing so firmly in the memory.....as the wish to forget it. 🙏
And you said it (error) you did not purposely hurt your baby...mistakes happen...its hard when a mistake means losing the one we love cause we can never make ammends...but moving forward you'll do so much better....I know your pain I lost my fur baby a month ago and I regret and cry everyday I didn't take her to the vet sooner...is why I'm here looking for ways to heal...and it's true hindsight can really play tricks on your mind because she was acting normal in until the day she passed...but here I am nevertheless feeling guilty I should've picked up on any little sign...I may not have medicated her wrongfully but I do feel like I ended it for her based on my decision...but none of my regrets can change that now except keep.me sad and depressed...and.reality is that in order to move on and live and not just exist..we must let go of the things that are holding us.prisoners in our minds...
I'm not sure if this makes any difference but I'm sure your late dog would forgive you a thousand times over. Wishing you all the best
Well I've learned an important lesson from my regret. Don't let your anger ruin a moment. Control my anger and think about what will happen next if I get mad and uncontrolled.
In freshman year I did track. Although I wasn’t good at it, I completed the season. But all my friends and family told me not to continue it.. even thought I enjoyed it. I’m a senior now, and have so much regret. Thank you for this video.
You are so welcome. I'm glad it was helpful!
HINDSIGHT was a big one for me. Thanks for this helpful video.
Agree
I lost my son 10 years ago. This video helps.
May God comfort you and give you His Peace.
I really love your healthy approach towards emotions! Not viewing them as good or bad, but rather, just neutral and with a PURPOSE. Thank you this helped me sooo much just subscribed :)
I regret something i did as a child.. I didn't know much then, but i made some animals that i love feel pain.. And it hurts me so damn much, i wish i knew what i did but i didn't. It's like an endless loop of regret. I can't forget the pain those animals have gone through. Today i know very well and deeply, but as a child I didn't know animals felt pain..
Hey it’s okay! You didn’t know.
I did something when I was younger and I regret a lot.. I knew it wasn’t right. And I just regret it so much but I’m trying to improve.
Thank you for sharing this video I was dealing with so much regret I could’ve been with somebody if I notice more looking back. I let myself get in the way it absolutely destroys me, got depressed, lost body weight cause I wasn’t eating. I feel like a clown. I want to tell her my regret. But she seeing someone... I don’t know... I value the friendship a lot.
Thank you. I regret breaking up with my girlfriend. This helped. 🙏
Thank you for this, I regret leaving my prom 5 minutes too early and not noticing my friend's call because after that, they had to take a final class photo without me and I really wish I was apart of that!
If that all you have to worry about your OK
I had a regretful situation happen to me today that I couldn't reconcile in head. I went to youtube for tips on how to deal with regret and yours is the first video I watched and I really lucked out finding you. Your advice helped me to gain perspective and stop "should-ing" on myself. I can really get carried away with shame. After watching the video, I was able to dive into the event, find my regrets and make a list of things to do to make sure that doesn't happen again. Now, I must follow through. Thank you for your sound advice and for showing me a path to peace.
How does one cope with regret from doing something they knew was wrong but their feelings overpowered their logic and reasoning and did it anyway? That's what I'm dealing with. I deal with it on and off. And I will do so for the rest of my life on top of other regrets. But the thing I regret the most was something I had control over yet the way I felt at the time completely took over any rational part of me that existed. And I've only ever told one person about it, that being my mom. Who the one time I told her, told me she thought I was making the whole thing a lot worse in my head than it really was. And for a while I thought so too. But then I thought well what if that's just one of those things mom's say and she's just minimizing it. And this thing I regret, I know it will pop up in my head over and over and over until the day I die. But I also don't like the moments like I'm in right now, where I sit here telling myself how bad of a person I am over one stupid thing I did as a teenager. And even though I'll regret that moment forever, sometimes that regret completely takes over me for months at a time sometimes. I'm 30 now. And I'd like to move on from it. Because I know I'm a good person, but this one thing always makes the normal good me feel like I'm not. And I'm not sure how to manage that.
How I’m feeling right now, you’re not alone and keep knowing that you’re only human!
i wish i had an answer for us bc im 30 and i regret hurting the person that loved me its alot of hate i have or mysef
Hey there. Im almost 30 yet still regretting my uni major choice.. I hope we will be able to overcome this unconfortable feeling soon
What a great lesson you just gave on “living with regret”. I loved step 2 about hindsight. So powerful. I just subscribed. Thank you. 🙏
"There is no such things as bad emotions". Love it❤
Thank you so much for this video! I have a tendency to spiral in regret about things that happened years ago, but this video really helped.
Glad it was helpful!
Please keep updating!!❤️❤️
De Thank you! This was so awesome! So plain so simple!
How do you deal with the fact that others WILL judge you for the stuff that you regret? Like seriously, this stuff is eating me alive. I did stuff that most would frown heavily upon and is generally considered immoral.
These tips are really helpful. I'm currently regretting a mistake I made with a neighbour/friend which i feel really bad about, so will try to apply your suggestions! Thanks Allison
Always a pleasant video to watch!!
Thanks, Doc!! Keep up helping people :)
Thank you so much; that makes my day!
@@DrAllisonAnswers Please Dr Allison , i hope that you see and respond to my comment. I am a 28 yo man that gets regreted very quickly! Any advice besides those in the video? pls im dying , i cant handle it anymore. The last regret was insulting my little brother and really harmed his emotions and now buying a phone that i liked it at the beggining but now i think i didnt need it ! Pls reply Dr Allison. Just say whatever you want , but reply cuz im dying inside
Wish this video was about 2 hours long. So helpful. Thank you.
You understand so much.. i made a wrong choice in my uni major. I clearly dont have the talent, took 7 years to finish, really suck at my job, and get really anxious in doing the job as well. I dont work full time because of my anxiety, so i get very low income. Feeling ashamed to meet old friends. Ashamed to look for someone to date too. im single and pretty much jobless. Still trying to apply for other jobs, but u know these days its hard to change your career esp if the uni major is too specific like mine.
I will try to follow your advice though its not going to be easy..
Very helpful❤❤Please, dr Alison, come back to youtube❤Your videos are so precious❤
This video really spoke to me. Thank you!
You are so welcome!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! I SUBSCRIBED IMMEDIATELY ❤️
Yay! Thank you!
Wow! I'm amazed by your knowledge, presentation and beautiful aura! I am so happy that I found you and the timing was perfect at 64 years old! You are a breath of fresh air and I am full of Gratitude! Thank you very much! ♥️
I appreciate that so so much; thank you!
The first comment i ever write on TH-cam. I love you lady, thank you for this.
thank you so much..this feels like sipping on a cold drink in this summer heat..
I’m feeling so much pain, I turned down a life changing job opportunity through procrastination but it was too late to go back. I cannot believe how painful it feels, immediately after saying no I knew it was wrong.
I regret something I did a few days ago. The worse thing is I tried my hardest to avoid this. It's more of what I did not do
This comment was from a year ago but I completely feel this
I’ve spent so much money on other stuff rather than driving lessons etc that i should have spent it on, i need to make some money back somehow but don’t know how, i’ll look for a job after new years but until then i’m going to have to be scared and anxious, this video relaxed me a little though
Good stuff as always - thank you Dr Allison for educating us : )
I got a whole lot of Regrets some ranging from mild to ultra spicy and "Why the fuck would you think/do that?!? THATS FUCKING ILLEGAL AND IMMORAL AND INCREDIBLY STUPID!"
Muchas Gracias por este video. Luego de escuchar este video me siento muy bien porque aprendí de mis errores para evitar cometerlos en el futuro.
I DONT LIKE MYSELF FOR WHAT I DID TO MYSELF MANY YEARS AGO AS A YOUNG MOM, I ACTED WAY TOO HASTILY AND DIDNT LISTEN TO MY SPOUSE WHO IS A WONDERFUL PERSON! IT WAS JUST STUPID AND VERY WRONG! I really need to focus on the here and now and the many and truly blessings in my life, this planet is not my eternal home! 😢
This was SO helpful thank you so much
Thank you
Thanks so much Doc, really helpful. God bless
You are so welcome; I'm glad it was helpful!
This video was very helpful
thanks a lot doctor!!!! Much love! 🏆🏆🏆🏆
Thank you, very good breakdown
Glad you enjoyed it!
I'm glad
Thank you so much for this.
Thank you very much, very helpful video
You are welcome!
I was drawn into this video right from jump. I've been a miserable son of a bitch lately but the way Dr Allison said Regret Sucks... It actually made me laugh. The problem that I have is that my regrets haunt me. I don't choose to think about it or let them camp out. They slip into my mind like a little gremlin and torment me. I know that this is a childish emotion but I sure do wish that I could have a do-over. It's going to take quite some time to heal this wound, and yes that sucks indeed. Anyway thanks for the laugh.
I don't know
we move on but some times it's coming back
Yes Regret is very very painful.
I sold my house and afterwards realised what a huge mistake id done x
@Kanya K hello do you even know me ass wipe.
I'm sorry to hear that love! Hope you can deal with the situation better now x
Me too !
I feel you hurt I sold my house in Early 9:44 2020 and new I made a mistake ...Now I am dealing with what could have been if I waited 6 months.. I lost so much money selling early .. Hard to get over that .
Same thing I am going through
Thank you for this! 🤍🤍🤍
This really helped me thanks...
Good video........Regret comes and goes but when it is here, it is really painful. There was that song years ago titled
"What a Fool Believes"......Even after many years I'm going to try and find her.
Thanks so much 💗
You’re welcome!
Thank you the 3 steps are good
More on regret
Thanks
my parents asked me if I wanted to move to us about a year and a half ago, I said yes and I regret it so much because I used to live a good life in Colombia and I had friends, and here I can count all of my friends in one hand and I only have one. I used to be a really cheerful funny person and now I'm so depressed. But i feel like my situation is different because i feel like if i let go of that regret im going to forget the good days or idk
I know the feeling. Perhaps you have time to go back to where you were
Thank you for this video. It helped me a lot.
THE ONLY REGRET I HAVE ALL MY LIFE IS BEING GOOD TO PPL!
IT HURTS LIKE HELL BUT THIS PAIN TURNED INTO THE IRON SHIELD FOR THE FEATURE.
You are regretting because you are the dumbest person to have ever existed. It's totally your fault for being good to people loser.
Hey, well try me. I was once taken to my boss's office--with her and her chef colleague--for touching my coworkers too much ( *_casually,_* on arms or shoulders). I was always very outgoing and tactile at work. The chef told me that we need the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment. That I shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school or tell my stories, because they may be inappropriate or upsetting (can't remember her exact words) to others. Now yeah, I pretty much didn't have a filter, but I don't think I said anything *_horrible._* I only meant to have fun with my crew. I really didn't get specific information from the chef about subjects and references. She likes that I'm outgoing, but she made it sound risky and in need of limits. And again, that I shouldn't touch anyone without consent.
I own my mistakes at work, but I don't want anyone twisting it around into I'm making the chef the only bad guy. I didn't _mean_ any harm or discomfort. If I had known anyone would feel either, (though technically no one showed signs), I would _not_ have touched them. I am not a creep. But the chef made me feel like one. See, she shouldn’t have been so firm and in my face. A gentle, respectful talk for a couple minutes was all I needed. She shouldn’t have restricted me to handshakes only. Casual taps or pats or whatever are actually ok, as long as you don’t overdo them and it’s to friendly people who clearly enjoy you. I always thought it was perfectly innocent and natural, and I still do, in certain ways. Happens a lot at the bar parties I go to-total strangers. Besides, two middle-aged workers from the dining department have done it to me; I don’t condemn it. Also, the chef did not have to ask my boss if there was anything she wanted to add. How did she think that would make me feel? Not disrespected and like a criminal? HeII, my boss shouldn’t have been in the room at all; I deserved some dignity and comfort. I felt horrible. But of course, whenever I expressed this side on other videos, people would continue faulting me or saying the chef was right. To them, it was this side over the other. I felt like no one understood me or the gray areas I still think exist.
I'm not sure if I want to let go of my regret. It is a painful reminder of all the bad things I've done. I am not okay with what I've done, but at least I can learn from it. It is just sometimes it gets overwhelming.
Everyone’s talking about what they said etc. I have a lot of regret about what I didn’t say and a lot of frustration towards what treatment I tolerated. While I don’t feel ashamed I am annoyed at myself for what was possibly cowardice. The problem is I am not sure if I can overcome this cowardice
I’m just here cuz I told my cousin I’m kinda questioning my sexuality 5 minutes ago and now I feel like it’s not true and I wish I could take it back
Holy Shit Dude, you help d me a lot right now, thanks girl
i could have saved my tooth if I wasn't so lazy and seen a dentist on time smh
I honestly don’t want to tell you what I regret. It’s very stupid and embarrassing. Let’s just say, it wasn’t in real life, it was in a game and it didn’t involve something I or someone else said.
How can I recover from shame? I have made decisions that have isolated me from my children, this was not my plan but still the result. Regret and shame are my daily reality, I have apologized and I am trying to work my way back into their lives. The feedback is not what I had hoped for, I plan on staying the course but I can’t shake the Devastation that I feel, I worked hard my whole life to do what I thought was the right thing to do but as it turns out I had it wrong somehow all I keep saying to myself is “ you truly did your best “ but it wasn’t good enough. Now what?
Thank you so much
You're most welcome; glad it was helpful!
I’m in a same situation like Sarah Steer if you read this Sarah please responded I hope to talk with you
this was very helpful, this might sound stupid but i spent 10 dollars on robux, but the sad thing is that it was money my grandma gave me on easter, and i spent it straight away and used it for a stupid thing. overall this video was helpful.
i regret resigning from my job, i shouldve try harder....
Regret is the ego not willing to accept the shadow.
What about the regret of wasting 40 years of my life,I'm 60 next year and the regret of wasting most of my life is hard to bare
Regret and repetance aren't the same? Sorry, english is my second language... Thanks for your video.
Someone please answer. I’m going through a bad stage in my life and I quit a job the day I work and left her high and dry. I’m her only worker… I have so much regret!!!!! Please help
I regret reaching late for my sister's graduation party. I wish I had reached on time. I missed her speech and many other aspects of the function! What should I do? I feel very bad. Most of the pictures taken,I wasn't in them. It's painful. I'm hurting deeply!
Hi Dr. Alison, your videos have helped me a lot to stay positive and have changed my attitude towards certain things in life. So thank you! Currently, something is really bothering me. Can you please tell me how to deal with someone who apologizes for the same mistake, but doesn't change their behavior??? I neep your help. Thanks
You deserve 100k subs
Don’t have to remind me to think of something 🙃
But all of this doesnt get me my crush back..
I mean maybe when it happens i know what i dont want to do, but still. I dont think ill get a second chance here and i feel it every day.
Have been feeling it for 3 years.
EDIT: guess point 3 applies ._. ill try, thanks.
Hi doc
My name is Gerald Randolph. Have a big problem with regrets and selfishness. Am dating and my date stays happy but in the heart hurt and I regret this feeling I put her into. It makes me feel she's not in love with me. What can I do to put my relationship in the right position
i have a question and i hope i get an optimistic answer from you. Do you think or even know whether people who have suffered from domestic violence and child sexual abuse are eligible for asylum in other countries? Not necessarily US.
i found myself so impulsive deciding to do this. i’m so stuck in my environment and I don’t fit in at all. Mental health is soo stigmatized and i have no trust in the services anyways. Ppl like me just don’t matter and I believed it for so long. I have no support... i live in constant fear and insecurity. i never open up about anything and i feel so isolated. I don’t wanna see myself in ten years cuz i’m withering already.
Thank you for your content, always. i relate to this in social situations and also the whole decision thing i’m so impulsive to do. But i’ve never ever done something for myself and to choose myself.
I wish I had an informed and helpful response to your question about asylum, but unfortunately, that's an area I'm not super knowledgeable in. There may be some online resources about this, but I don't know any off the top of my head. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful here.
I know no words can provide instant comfort or change your experience or situation, so I won't try. But I will say that you matter. You being on this earth matters. And you're probably so much stronger than you think.
I hope my channel can serve as a source of light for you, even when times are tough. Sending encouragement your way today!
Dr. Allison Answers thank you so much tho!
it is tough and unimaginable.
I’ve been researching and I’m optimistic even tho things might not go well but still, there’s a chance it will go well. it’s worth the risk anyway.
Idk if you talked about this before on your channel but i hope you make videos about relationships in general and attachments in depth. it’s controlling my life how difficult it is to form connections n being okey with closeness therefore it’s so challenging to establish a support system. Thank youu
Oh this was a year ago... I was hoping stay in touch
Or regret smth that u didn't do and it affects your future
I regret selling my house and can't seem to get over it
What if it’s better for a kid to just say tell an adult and it would go away but you would get in trouble and you don’t want to tell just get over it thx doc:)
Well the part of the puzzle your education has not provided you is that regret is more than emotional. Personally many of my past decisions of regret manifest themselves perpetually the rest of your life in either physical damage to your body which I'm still paying for and or financial loss that still cost me every month to this day for the rest of my life. So don't tell me that regret is something you can just wish Away by pretend like it's a good thing
This video won’t bring him back from death…
You got those alligator eyes. They are attractive.
Everyday I see beautiful girls in the street and I never take the opportunity to speak with them, and then I regret it all day...and I'm sad. And the next day, it's the same, again and again...
I'm only here because im drunk... Boys ususally don't get emotional.
But it was a helpful video though...
I got in bed with a girl that i didn't love and she didn't love me, and now my virginity is lost and wasted, (what happened was a mistake)
I would do anything to "undo" that decision, but done is done, and it's in the past so there's nothing i can do about it.
I regret it so much...
It's almost been 1,5 years but i still can't get past it.
The same "event" keeps "replaying" in my mind and each time it does: I don't know what to do, but i keep on blaming myself for what happened.
didn't help
Regret has simply been the story of my life since I was in high school. Thank you Dr. Allison for helping me move forward today with your video. Although there is no quick fix for me, I can clearly see that I have a lot of work to do. ❤️🩹