I turned FRANCE into the MOST POWERFUL EMPIRE in Crusader Kings 3

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 230

  • @Koifish
    @Koifish  ปีที่แล้ว +207

    *King Charles the BADDY*
    This video was honestly insane to record! HUGE EMPIRE? REFORMED RELIGION? RETURN OF HAESTEINN?! It has it all!
    More CK3 Coming very soon, including some action BEYOND THE WALL in Game of Thrones!

    • @donpollo3154
      @donpollo3154 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Charles the daddy 😏

    • @Ykan-dh5hl
      @Ykan-dh5hl ปีที่แล้ว +1

      By the way Koifish, Occitan is pronounced Ok-see-tan (kinda)
      Great video by the way

    • @mattparker9726
      @mattparker9726 ปีที่แล้ว

      Koifish lowkey hates Ohio?

    • @jacethegreat17
      @jacethegreat17 ปีที่แล้ว

      I appreciate you representing the most oppressed nation on earth 😂

    • @therealmrkrabs6413
      @therealmrkrabs6413 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sorry, will have to dislike this for continuing the existence of Fr*nce

  • @ohuckabee
    @ohuckabee ปีที่แล้ว +784

    "Less talking, and more Frenching." With lines like that, it's no wonder Mrs. Koifish fell for you!

    • @eagleowl833
      @eagleowl833 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Bro, that's savage. Don't kick a koifish while he's floating belly up💀🐠

  • @maxjohn6012
    @maxjohn6012 ปีที่แล้ว +363

    Koifish: Blackmails his doctor
    Doctor: Cuts off Koifish's leg
    Koifish: "Why would you do that???!"

  • @DUAXNinja
    @DUAXNinja ปีที่แล้ว +243

    The greatest tragedy of this video is that Brittany survived all the way till the end. A true French ruler would never stand for such a blunder.

    • @JamesL42
      @JamesL42 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Tbf the French did leave Brittany alone for almost 1000 years before they annexed them. And only then it was technically by inherentence.

    • @thalmoragent9344
      @thalmoragent9344 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@JamesL42
      Really? What's the history between them? I'm actually curious now, I'm gonna search it up now 😅

    • @Joel-lx2lw
      @Joel-lx2lw ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@thalmoragent9344History Matters has a great Video about the subject.

    • @noblenaveragemanointernet2582
      @noblenaveragemanointernet2582 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@thalmoragent9344 Long story short, fierce resistance, then the long game for the heir being a woman, and a marriage that unites both realm.

    • @leahryan5560
      @leahryan5560 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@thalmoragent9344So Anne inherited the duchy in 1488 at age 11 upon the death of her father. She was married to two kings of France: Charles VIII and Louis XII. She had no surviving children by her first husband so when he died, his cousin ascended the throne and Anne married him (her first marriage contract stipulated that she marry the next king of Charles VIII died without an heir).
      She and Louis had two surviving daughters: Claude and Renee. Anne wanted to keep Brittany free from France, so she betrothed Claude to the future Charles V. But later, when Louis became ill, he cancelled that engagement and betrothed Claude to his cousin and heir, the future Francis II. Anne wasn’t happy about this. She died in 1514 at age 36. Her will dictated that her younger daughter Renee get Brittany but Louis ignored this and Claude became Duchess of Brittany.
      Louis died in 1515 and Francis and Claude became King and Queen of France. Claude was not as active in policy making in Brittany as her mother had been and left a lot of those decisions to her husband. Claude died in 1524 and her eldest son Francis became Duke of Brittany (he did not live to become King of France). The title was later incorporated into the crown and the land became part of France.

  • @obscurekidney501
    @obscurekidney501 ปีที่แล้ว +241

    it's funny how the first Norman in this playthrough is tiny when "Rollo The Walker" the actual first Norman
    was called the walker due to being too big to get on his horse, having to walk

    • @thalmoragent9344
      @thalmoragent9344 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Wait, too big for his horse? Like fat, or just "big" and heavy?

    • @obscurekidney501
      @obscurekidney501 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@thalmoragent9344 I think he was just big and heavy idk about fat

    • @Xo-3130
      @Xo-3130 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@thalmoragent9344Powerlifter build so fat on top of muscle.

    • @Folcock
      @Folcock 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​​@@thalmoragent9344their "horses" were basically ponies he was just too tall see the statues of him in France and scriptures

    • @-._A2._-
      @-._A2._- 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@Xo-3130I hate that people compare a soldier to a powerlifter. He would look more like a strong man in the military than strong powerlifter. Both are strong but have different characteristics based on what their strength is for.

  • @bernard832
    @bernard832 ปีที่แล้ว +90

    The French Pope you were thinking of was the Avignon Papacy. Clement V, a Frenchman, was elected pope in 1309 and moved the papal residence to Avignon, which was then part of Burgundy under the HRE. Rome lost a lot of income and went into decline and unrest. Pressure from Italian political factions led to the election of Urban VI in 1378, but he alienated the cardinals by forbidding them from taking indulgences and the king of France by staying in Rome instead of Avignon. The French cardinals elected Clement VII as pope in Avignon, and there were two competing popes until the Western Schism was mended in 1417.

    • @Entropy__
      @Entropy__ ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nice info!

  • @MegaEarAche
    @MegaEarAche ปีที่แล้ว +52

    I love it. Even when he isn't doing a Haesting run. They still make it into the video.

  • @Rockstar-bq5fm
    @Rockstar-bq5fm ปีที่แล้ว +54

    Haha you actually gave Normandy to that little Viking Dwarf. We’re on the right timeline lol

    • @Rockstar-bq5fm
      @Rockstar-bq5fm ปีที่แล้ว +4

      IT HAPPENED!!!

    • @deusvult6920
      @deusvult6920 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      There is no such thing as more than one timeline

  • @2dogsandaDJ
    @2dogsandaDJ ปีที่แล้ว +6

    8:04 "Im being called to war, I'll accept but Im not gonna help"
    Suuuuuch a fuckin mood in this game

  • @frxstylgl
    @frxstylgl 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Saddest lines before knowing about the tragedy:
    "Why did i get Normandy?"

  • @Kasaaz
    @Kasaaz ปีที่แล้ว +97

    Sometimes I don’t know if Koifish is making a joke by saying things weird on purpose or if it’s just the way his brain works. I’m entertained regardless, like when he called the dwarf his King of the Hand.

  • @crazyhercules9442
    @crazyhercules9442 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    I was not expecting the son of Haestein to return, honestly. Boy what a surprise😂

  • @bowserhunter1
    @bowserhunter1 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    "There is one man to further unite all of Europe" ngl I thought the followup to that was going to be "Jarl Haesteinn"

  • @walnzell9328
    @walnzell9328 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    15:45 Koifish doing a historically accurate move here.

  • @Freedmoon44
    @Freedmoon44 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    There wasnt a time where France claimed the Papacy in itself (nor West Francia but heh thats just France but older) BUT there was a time in the middle ages where the French kidnapped the pope from Rome to send him to Avignon making him closer to France than Italy, at first he was the Legitimate Pope, but the thing is, the French didnt stay in Rome so shortly after leaving another pope appeared and it ended up in a sorta French sponsored pope vs normal Catholic pope war of influence won by Normal catholic pope at one point.
    It was a really fun time lol

  • @victorhino26
    @victorhino26 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Brittany just chugging along in the corner unscathed by Koifish's predation amaze me more than Ragnarr's return or the spawning of a dwarfen viking named Halfdan,granted the former brings out a chuckle out of me ngl

  • @herrnachbar81
    @herrnachbar81 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    if i remember correctly, charles' name "the bald" meant something like "the landless", because after the parlament in worms, he didn't get as much land as his brothers after francia was divided between them

  • @andreanecchi5930
    @andreanecchi5930 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    thanks for the video, it's always fun to hear you say the words of other languages in your own way😂 , If there is some empire that you don't normally see on the map, could you make a video trying to form one? , I mean one of the kind of that kingdom that you can form in India with the Jewish religion. , 27:24 is the count of the city where I live

  • @thebackup291
    @thebackup291 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I honestly am lost for words on this on I am highly entertained and never got bored during his video haven’t felt like this in a while keep up the good work man!

  • @Larbek24
    @Larbek24 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    So I know two theories why Charles was called the bald. The first is the one you explained in the video as with bald as crown- or landless. The other one is that he was called the bald because of his healthy and full hair and the nickname was just ironic.

  • @sheogorath6804
    @sheogorath6804 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    If you didn't know he was named Charles The Bald due to being extremely hairy. Classical French Humour.

    • @WilliamFarge
      @WilliamFarge ปีที่แล้ว

      Above all, it was because he had no kingdom before one of his brothers died without proper heir.

    • @caniblmolstr4503
      @caniblmolstr4503 ปีที่แล้ว

      Naah.. It was because he was the only brother without a crown when the kingdoms were split by Louis

  • @m00zesss
    @m00zesss ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Your renown didn't change after handing out the kingdom titles because they are not independent rulers. Apart from that great content as usual :)

    • @markfreenick
      @markfreenick ปีที่แล้ว +1

      They kqy have renown from court lvl even if they are youre vassals.

  • @jamiekamihachi3135
    @jamiekamihachi3135 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    A fruit basket would probably be a pretty impressive gift in the 9th century. Imagine getting a banana imported from god knows where.

  • @andresmadrid9260
    @andresmadrid9260 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Love your videos, i think it would been way harder if you pick up the last Karling in 1066 and try to restore the Empire, since you only start with one county.

    • @CatchTheMarmosets
      @CatchTheMarmosets ปีที่แล้ว

      That’d take forever coz hed have no claims

    • @factualdegree5450
      @factualdegree5450 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@CatchTheMarmosets there are many ways you can conquer without claims, or other ways to obtain claims.

    • @CatchTheMarmosets
      @CatchTheMarmosets ปีที่แล้ว

      @@factualdegree5450 yeah, but itd take forever to do that if you dont have claims. I have played this game before lol

    • @walterusalbus
      @walterusalbus ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@factualdegree5450 i did it by using the learning tree to get claims and also having my bishop make claims.

    • @factualdegree5450
      @factualdegree5450 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@CatchTheMarmosets I haven’t really tried, but if I did, I would try and stock up on men at arms and change my faith to commit war crimes lol

  • @jkepic9068
    @jkepic9068 ปีที่แล้ว

    6:50 YAY WARBAND MUSIC THE NOSTALGIA

  • @Jobama95
    @Jobama95 ปีที่แล้ว

    Your battle for rehab drove me to hit the like button. To help you help yourself would mean the world to me. Hoping to not see you relapse.
    Sincerely, a Hastein addict.

  • @factualdegree5450
    @factualdegree5450 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    When you said “French culture” I thought you said French creatures lol

  • @KingAusarII
    @KingAusarII ปีที่แล้ว

    19:53 That only happens if theyre independent rulers. Since theyre kings under your empire that makes them vassals, unlike italy before you invaded it

  • @LordMrPhantom
    @LordMrPhantom ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Tells a stammerer not to dwell on it too much. Koifish, that was an unintentional jab lol

  • @Wooper160atThePond
    @Wooper160atThePond ปีที่แล้ว +1

    there's something very entertaining about a Swedish man joking about "dropping Politics at the Thanksgiving party" Have you ever even been to a Thanksgiving dinner in the US?

  • @jito7377
    @jito7377 ปีที่แล้ว

    Yes, Coifchild. Keep droping those wisedoms!

  • @therealmrkrabs6413
    @therealmrkrabs6413 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    3:45 As an Ohioan, this is inaccurate. We do not stab each other, we shoot each other.

  • @ohNojames
    @ohNojames ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Strong alliance...1100 fighting men in his army. Such an optimist Koifish.
    Why were you losing 10 gold a month at the end?

  • @SuperAzoz99
    @SuperAzoz99 ปีที่แล้ว

    Literally the best CK campaign I ever seen

  • @jdmacdad5418
    @jdmacdad5418 ปีที่แล้ว

    I know this video is old, but I appreciate the Tropico 2 music in the beginning!

  • @Asenpopov
    @Asenpopov ปีที่แล้ว

    I've stammered ever since i could talk. Lold at the stammer joke. That's exactly how i got bullied at school 😆

  • @a7i_.
    @a7i_. ปีที่แล้ว

    "Thank you wife, your knowledge is impressive" 😂😂

  • @Takayama-sama
    @Takayama-sama ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for answering my question about schmunking Koifish!

  • @JaeSM97
    @JaeSM97 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    HOLY SHIT THE PLOT TWIST AT THE END!
    I'm actually laughing my ass off. This is literally too funny.
    I think in one Koifish's future playthroughs, he needs to pin Haesteinn and just sort of, observe what happens every few years.

  • @sizanogreen9900
    @sizanogreen9900 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    How the heck did Brittany survive this...

  • @sera1934
    @sera1934 ปีที่แล้ว

    Ragnarr coming back was insane. Whey keep following you))))))

  • @dragonking4756
    @dragonking4756 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    23:05 my home town got mentioned rahhhr🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

  • @battleonize
    @battleonize ปีที่แล้ว

    great video koifish!!!

  • @ObliviAce
    @ObliviAce ปีที่แล้ว

    SINCE WHEN DID KOIFISH HAVE A BABY 😭
    I STARTED WATCHING THIS DUDE SINCE I WAS 13 BRO SO MUCH TIME HAS PASSED

  • @Apollo1989V
    @Apollo1989V ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I would like to see a video of 1066 France restoring the Carolingian borders.

  • @sounakchatterjer4158
    @sounakchatterjer4158 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You can try to run from the Vikings but the vikings will always come for you with the Hasteinings

  • @fifagod4804
    @fifagod4804 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Love the videos ❤

  • @johnbgoode1605
    @johnbgoode1605 ปีที่แล้ว

    12:20 Koi Child!

  • @crusadingpie_8704
    @crusadingpie_8704 ปีที่แล้ว

    Beat up the Papacy and make a French Pope? Someone Cross off the Anti-Pope on the bingo card, Koifish is slowly hitting all the historical beats in his own way and time

  • @corentinboxho
    @corentinboxho ปีที่แล้ว +3

    1:09 If you really want to succeed at pretending to speak French, don't just say "the Bald" with a French accent, but actually translate it into "le Chauve"! 😜

  • @alexnunn2161
    @alexnunn2161 ปีที่แล้ว

    From what little i know, the nickname ‘The Bald’ is meant to be ironic since Charles was supposedly super fucking hairy

  • @mrdark619
    @mrdark619 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    To be honest I kind of expected you to play haestein and take over all of europe with him instead :P

  • @TheColombianSpartan
    @TheColombianSpartan ปีที่แล้ว

    Koifish you know very well rehab won't cure your Haesteinn addiction
    Nothing will
    and thats because its a glorious thing

  • @ShadowDragon1848
    @ShadowDragon1848 ปีที่แล้ว

    I did stammer and do it even know, when I´m very excited. Sooo yeah I feel a bit oooooooffffffended :D ^^

  • @matthewdamal2687
    @matthewdamal2687 ปีที่แล้ว

    Nicely done

  • @bakaky0
    @bakaky0 ปีที่แล้ว

    "letter C in the A to C challenge". It's finally over

  • @Iceican
    @Iceican ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I played an englishman in africa took me a bit to realize i just made an english colony

  • @pyurjenius6676
    @pyurjenius6676 ปีที่แล้ว

    "Bite his ankles!"

  • @Shansitan
    @Shansitan ปีที่แล้ว

    I recently did a play thru where I started in Ireland took all of Britannia founded my own religion that was similar and by the end date had most of the world under my empire and of my religion it is definitely broken to just constantly get free money

  • @Logan0503
    @Logan0503 ปีที่แล้ว

    Cool, now I know what schmonked means! This is like when I finally figured out what chuffed means…

  • @jkepic9068
    @jkepic9068 ปีที่แล้ว

    baby koifish sounds so cute lol

  • @DaimyoShi
    @DaimyoShi ปีที่แล้ว

    Koifish, you are a Emperor, there are no good guy emperors.

  • @joespears360
    @joespears360 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Being someone who lives in rural Ohio, it is quite possible for a liberal relative and a conservative relative to eventually stab the other when discussing politics, especially if alcohol is involved

  • @aaronzapol5253
    @aaronzapol5253 ปีที่แล้ว

    Koif-fish, the greatest medieval swede ever.

  • @m1sz3lpl24
    @m1sz3lpl24 ปีที่แล้ว

    CK3 Koifish video without Haestein? Hell yeah!

  • @LordAgamiS
    @LordAgamiS ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Please oh great koifish. Restore the ancient kingdom of celtica and unificate all the pictish people (same as the slawes).
    I beg of You, mighty Warrior of ck3, return the paganish celtic to all europe before evil romans destroyed it.

  • @connorbarton4308
    @connorbarton4308 ปีที่แล้ว

    With head of faith title you can make it always approve and divorce anyway

  • @Sylus_Domanni
    @Sylus_Domanni ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Haestinn death time stamp 9:34.

  • @pjoterem141
    @pjoterem141 ปีที่แล้ว

    the Warband music hit hard

    • @factualdegree5450
      @factualdegree5450 ปีที่แล้ว

      I love when he uses Warband music, brings me back to my all nighters of conquering the world

  • @RKGrizz
    @RKGrizz ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Koifish, the French get access to the Gendarmes heavy cavalry so the Armored Horseman is not the strongest Men-at-Arms unit for the French.

  • @YoshiaLubbe
    @YoshiaLubbe 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hey Koifish, here is a suggestion: why don't you next time make the Pope your vassal?

  • @ProbablyNot18
    @ProbablyNot18 ปีที่แล้ว

    this was great

  • @justinmalangoni
    @justinmalangoni ปีที่แล้ว

    keep these going... would like to see Robert the Fox

  • @Thanadeez
    @Thanadeez ปีที่แล้ว

    11:31 this was in fact, not dutch at all

  • @PraiseJ-Pope
    @PraiseJ-Pope ปีที่แล้ว

    Seems like Mrs. Koifish has really high Learning

    • @rapecel
      @rapecel ปีที่แล้ว +1

      koifish is playing tall rn

  • @Jayn0x
    @Jayn0x ปีที่แล้ว

    Napoleon is proud of ya

  • @deusvult8435
    @deusvult8435 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    12:29 ikr!

  • @mandinhapicles
    @mandinhapicles ปีที่แล้ว

    The first thing I do when playing as King Charles The Bald is shaving is hair.

  • @cptmiller132
    @cptmiller132 ปีที่แล้ว

    hilarious how you lost your gout right as you tried to off yourself lol

  • @luckyone7778
    @luckyone7778 ปีที่แล้ว

    Koifish yet again beaten whole world of CK3

  • @thefabviking
    @thefabviking ปีที่แล้ว

    Haven't watched the video yet, but I wonder if he's gonna evict hæsteinn as a neighbour lol.

  • @connorbarton4308
    @connorbarton4308 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The papacy has a lot of imagery depicting Satan and lucifer and they actively worship the antichrist you did the right thing koifish 25:48

  • @eliomarmion5485
    @eliomarmion5485 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    La Guerre (the war)

  • @Т1000-м1и
    @Т1000-м1и ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I read the thumbnail as blind a f

  • @angrypastabrewing
    @angrypastabrewing 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    King Charles now looks like Walter White

  • @Swedishmafia101MemeCorporation
    @Swedishmafia101MemeCorporation ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm sorry Koifish. But you need to flush the French out of you before the infection takes hold.

  • @bravebenson9262
    @bravebenson9262 ปีที่แล้ว

    I havent played the base game since the Elder Kings mod. Now with the AGOT who wants to play France when you have Targaryans?

  • @orirotem2298
    @orirotem2298 ปีที่แล้ว

    First time you call your favorite guy shmunk

  • @arno_grnfld455
    @arno_grnfld455 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Lmao haesteinn just wouldn't go away it seems

  • @Shansitan
    @Shansitan ปีที่แล้ว

    I thought the only letter in ck3 was H for.... you guessed it haestien

  • @kvshuzumaki382
    @kvshuzumaki382 ปีที่แล้ว

    It only helps your renown if they’re independent

  • @AquaticBigfoot8
    @AquaticBigfoot8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Sneak King 👑

  • @selen18126
    @selen18126 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    the...knight Templars were french mainly though XD

  • @germancardenas3068
    @germancardenas3068 ปีที่แล้ว

    it seems weird when koifish is not Haesteinn in a video

  • @holdencrowley3890
    @holdencrowley3890 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You should of named him noplian and made him short

  • @shadowofhawk55
    @shadowofhawk55 ปีที่แล้ว

    This timeline is basically just European Muhammed and I love it

  • @OompaL0ompa
    @OompaL0ompa ปีที่แล้ว

    I was stammering as a child because my evil father threw me on a chair when i was small so hard that the chair broke.
    Got rid of it during my childhood.
    I am not offended buddy, because stammering is never your fault, it's the parents fault.

  • @Teadrinker3445
    @Teadrinker3445 ปีที่แล้ว

    a to z? you missed Caustatin in scotland!

  • @DiaberlyDiablo
    @DiaberlyDiablo ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Please make more ck3 content.

  • @MaitreKorda
    @MaitreKorda ปีที่แล้ว

    How did you make the scene at the start?