“Tell Ea-Nasir: Nanni sends the following message: When you came, you said to me: “I will give fine quality copper ingots.” You left, but you did not do what you promised me. You put ingots which were not good before my messenger and said: “If you want to take them, take them; if you do not want to take them, go away!” What do you take me for that you treat me with such contempt? … … How have you treated me for that copper? You have withheld my money bag from me in enemy territory; it is now up to you to restore to me in full. Take notice that I will not accept any copper from you that is not of fine quality. I shall select and take the ingots individually in my yard, and I shall exercise against you my right of rejection because you have treated me with contempt.”
Haesteinn Fact: He was actually one of the tallest vikings, but only if you include his toenails. (Which the majority of the population did not at that time period.)
Not as bad, as modern archaeologists, who keep finding runestones in India, China, Japan, West Africa, Mesopotamia Mongolia,, and wherever else i have forgotten
IRL heasteein: didnt leave much of a mark in history Koifish heasteein: a literal God in human form that can conquer anywhere with but a swing of his axe and can reform a dead religion with the sheer power of his will
I hope PDX never patches this dude. Koifish doing crazy sheet with Haestann has become a light in my life. Given the actor and author strike, this really is the best entertainment.
Koifish straight up conquered Persia, and the first Persian dude to covert to Asatru is a descendant of the Sassanids. I guess Haesteinn is just too much of a chad.
btw, if you convert to Zoroastrianism, you can proclaim yourself as messiah (or saoshyant in avestan) after you conquer the Persian Empire. And yes, I tried to do someting similiar, but with the Finns... and I lost my mind invading Afghanistan. nice video btw.
I cant wait for the crossover episode when.. Jewsteinn King of Israel, Haesteinn Khan, Haestann "Back to nature"... etc.. working together to conquer one world in a interdimensional war
Probably the last ominous command heard by countless dynasties and nations shortly before they were struck down in countless alternate timelines: "RAISE THE LADS!"
Just wanted to let you know, now whenever I raise my troops (whether to raid or for battle), I always say, "time to raise the lads" in some weird, semi Scandinavian accent. Thank you Koifish lol.
I understand your haestin addiction. I played Haesteinn setlled in krete created the hybrid culture of the varangians(greek and norse), renamed my house Varangoi married my way into the byzantine royal family and my grandson eventually became a emperor. 😎 pretty koifishy move if i may say so myself
In game there is a mechanic, that allows zoroastrians, with iranian origin- culture to gain unique trait as a reconqueror of Persia. It would be funnier if made persian-norse hybrid culture and had zoroastrian ruler.
for anyone who wants to know mor Sumerian dog jokes, A dog entered a warehouse. The merchant broke his leg with a wooden door-bolt: "Get out of here!" The dog questioned his tail: "Is there something behind me?" "Those things which make you happy!" it was told. "Well then, let me go back again tonight and receive something!" And so, upon his return, his leg was again broken. He dragged his tail and sat in the street. A second time he questioned his tail: "Did the bolt just come out from in front of you, like before?" truly *COMEDY*
I also want to say kudoes to your son for beating up King Charles the Pitiful to defend your honor! As he should! 😊👍 Seriously, that was GOLD and super wholesome! 🤣🥰
This is the gaming equivalent of figure skating. Also 13:13 is basically "so you have a number in your name?" Edit: wrote this when he just conquered Mesopotamia. I meant the whole island hooping to Arabia sounds incredible and that he's maneuvering the game mechanics
I had a game where I witnessed ai controlled haestening live until 100 and conquered half of britain and left 3 kingdoms to his children... Absolute gigachad
Me: Trying to create the kingdom of Sweden in my first two generations. Koifish:I'm going to recreate the Persian empire in the first generation. Just for fun.
I want to see erik the heathen get an update with healthy trait added so he can live longer you can ask norway to vassalize you with a few more years added with mods then own all of scandinavia
EA NASIR WANTS TO KNOW YOUR LOCATION!
Do a run and start off in Nottingham and play as Robin Hood koifish I damned it
“Tell Ea-Nasir: Nanni sends the following message:
When you came, you said to me: “I will give fine quality copper ingots.”
You left, but you did not do what you promised me.
You put ingots which were not good before my messenger and said:
“If you want to take them, take them; if you do not want to take them, go away!”
What do you take me for that you treat me with such contempt? …
… How have you treated me for that copper?
You have withheld my money bag from me in enemy territory;
it is now up to you to restore to me in full.
Take notice that I will not accept any copper from you that is not of fine quality.
I shall select and take the ingots individually in my yard,
and I shall exercise against you my right of rejection because you have treated me with contempt.”
Hey, @Koifish ... how much longer could that Haesteinn live? Like, did he reach 100?
I ain’t buying ea nasir’s copper bro💀💀💀
Ea Nasir is a the Bronze Age equivalent to a sleazy used car salesman.
Haesteinn addiction is a real thing..
Hopefully it doesn't run through family 😬
This is your brain 🧠
This is your brain on haesteinn 🪓
Embrace the addiction
Not a addiction but a tradition
So it's genetic?
Koifish adding "as a Viking" to his video titles is the most redundant information on the internet.
how did you do that
@@VVane01 do what?
@@Fat_Paws add the emoji?
@@Nowhereman-dk6ew You get an emoji button when you reply on a PC. Pretty sure you can do it on a phone as well.
@@Fat_Paws I'm on PC. I don't got it
What really impressed me is that your son, a child, traveled all the way from Baghdad to Paris, just to break into the king's home and beat his ass.
He's like a one piece character
This kid is gonna be a demigod of war, I hope
It appears that in all Hæstenn games, Cagliari is just the bridge to everyone around the globe
"Ahh shit.. not again!"
all roads lead to cagliari or something such
It's a cannon event
All ships lead to Cagliari would be more fitting@@TheAderwolf
fair point@@BlazingFlame69
One moment you're just a wee lad in India, the next moment a Viking swoops you up and makes you a duke in Mesopotamia.
Well, just another big river i guess.
Haesteinn Fact: He was actually one of the tallest vikings, but only if you include his toenails. (Which the majority of the population did not at that time period.)
The ruler of Cagliari must have nightmares with Haesteinn in the lead role after all these invasions in alternate histories XD
Not as bad, as modern archaeologists, who keep finding runestones in India, China, Japan, West Africa, Mesopotamia Mongolia,, and wherever else i have forgotten
Oh no, Koifish is relapsing again. Blink twice if Haesteinn is keeping you hostage, Koifish.
You are asking the abduct-er to blink if the person he abducted is keeping him hostage? I'm alright with it.
But, what if Koifish has Haesteinn hostage?
What if Koifish is posessed by the spirit of Haesteinn who wants to relive his glorious days?
every Haesteinn adventure has:
1. Cagliari conquest
2. Björn Ironside funeral
3. Culture hybridnization
As "a Viking", as if you could fool us into believing you'd play anyone other than Haestein
Remember when he used to play Björn Ironside?
@@SennaAugustus Today he'd probably rename Bjorn into Haestein Ironside
Koifish: "Persia, REBORN!!"
Byzantine Empire: *Nervous Sweating*
IRL heasteein: didnt leave much of a mark in history
Koifish heasteein: a literal God in human form that can conquer anywhere with but a swing of his axe and can reform a dead religion with the sheer power of his will
I hope PDX never patches this dude. Koifish doing crazy sheet with Haestann has become a light in my life. Given the actor and author strike, this really is the best entertainment.
If they ever stop striking and get back to work, Koifish has the bar set pretty high.
So I’m Iraqi and watching you spell our city names and try to speak Arabic is so wholesome 😂😂😂♥️
Haesteinn: conqueror of lands, gaslighter of babes, kidnapper of children, speaker of Arabic, and KING of the GARLIC.
Haestein has at this point been all across the known world, but has he ever tried... to conquer France!?
Why would he want to?
@@demonkingbadger6689 Good point.
Dude don’t say that word that’s so fucked up
He actualy done that in the ck2 conqueror achievement run koifish did.
Another Haestein tall run... as count of Montaigu... wait what? 😂
I love Koifish & his editor’s humour, they compliment each other so well, & I love when his editor adds random shit in the middle of videos lmao
A French Viking walked into Mesopotamia and said “O yea this is mine”
He's not French he's a Viking Viking.
"I can't see a thing, I'll take over this one"
Guess Haestinn decided to do something about Ea-Nasir's shitty copper but didn't realize he was a few centuries too late.
Koifish straight up conquered Persia, and the first Persian dude to covert to Asatru is a descendant of the Sassanids. I guess Haesteinn is just too much of a chad.
FYI: You can capture way more with the Kingdom Invasion CB. Any lands you have occupied outside of the original kingdom get taken as well.
But all within the same empire right?
"I created the most broken tall kingdom" proceeds to reform Persia.
btw, if you convert to Zoroastrianism, you can proclaim yourself as messiah (or saoshyant in avestan) after you conquer the Persian Empire. And yes, I tried to do someting similiar, but with the Finns... and I lost my mind invading Afghanistan.
nice video btw.
tbh, losing your mind invading Afghanistan seems lore accurate
They don't call it the Graveyard of Empires for nothing!
"Subscribe so we can conquer Mesopotamia irl" is the best pitch to subscribe I've heard.
Mashallah, Koifish has done it again
“Tall kingdom”; Immediately tries to form Persia after forming Mesopotamia
Every haesting video is slowly becoming Koifish adoption simulator
I got bronze age shitposted so many times that I instantly laughed at the song in the intro. :'D
I cant wait for the crossover episode when.. Jewsteinn King of Israel, Haesteinn Khan, Haestann "Back to nature"... etc.. working together to conquer one world in a interdimensional war
When you think you’ve seen all Hæstinn scenarios, Koifish comes back and screams, “there is no such thing as enough Hæstinn!”
Hæstenn really is "the cradle of humanity" for Koifish.
Koifish, we've been over this. Not EVERY video has to be a Haestein video.
Probably the last ominous command heard by countless dynasties and nations shortly before they were struck down in countless alternate timelines: "RAISE THE LADS!"
Just wanted to let you know, now whenever I raise my troops (whether to raid or for battle), I always say, "time to raise the lads" in some weird, semi Scandinavian accent. Thank you Koifish lol.
Another part to Haesteinn's bizarre adventure! Awesome!
Koifish needs an intervention, he has fully fallen off the wagon and is hitting the hastings hard again.
That "random viking" his daughter was married to and gave lovers pox to her is none other than the actual "Rollo of Normandie" himself lol.
19:07 Look at the shape of his domain. Haesteinn made his own France, but better.
video name : "most broken tall kingdom"
*Proceeds to play war only*
I understand your haestin addiction. I played Haesteinn setlled in krete created the hybrid culture of the varangians(greek and norse), renamed my house Varangoi married my way into the byzantine royal family and my grandson eventually became a emperor. 😎 pretty koifishy move if i may say so myself
That’s awesome
Damn
Boost that algorithm baaaaaaybeeeee
In game there is a mechanic, that allows zoroastrians, with iranian origin- culture to gain unique trait as a reconqueror of Persia. It would be funnier if made persian-norse hybrid culture and had zoroastrian ruler.
watching Koifish turning my country into a war zone is very entertaining
Praying paradox adds more adventurers so Koifish can get over his addiction
He tricked us with Haesteinn once again, what a madman.
koifish casually hinting that he wants to build an army in the beginning of the video is crazy dawg 💀
1:00
ok as an Iraqi now i feel very anxious
Fun yet informative, random pieces of informations regarding the history of the area conquered is a welcome new addition 👍
I am fully prepared to raid Mesopotamia on a longboat with you
for anyone who wants to know mor Sumerian dog jokes,
A dog entered a warehouse. The merchant broke his leg with a wooden door-bolt: "Get out of here!" The dog questioned his tail: "Is there something behind me?" "Those things which make you happy!" it was told. "Well then, let me go back again tonight and receive something!" And so, upon his return, his leg was again broken. He dragged his tail and sat in the street. A second time he questioned his tail: "Did the bolt just come out from in front of you, like before?"
truly *COMEDY*
I think it lost a lot in the translation.
Amazing video, i love your ck3 adventures, continue like that haestenn fish.
love the relapse into haesteinn, thank you koifish
Weird that you made this. I was literally thinking about making a Mesopotamia run yesterday on CK3, but wasnt sure it was possible.
really love the aot info slide edits
Same
To the people of Cagliari, you have to like them very much, you always go to conquer them ...
You could say, they are "golden" people.
It's not an addiction, he can stop at any time
First Haesteinn campaign I've seen you done in a while where Haesteinn actually lives throughout the video.
Didn't even need to see the title, I KNEW it was a Koifish vid when I saw Haesteinn
10:30 i guess you totally bagged that 😂
Awe yessss....I love me some adventuring. I have literally been everywhere with one character.
I'm loving M&B soundtrack in background. 😂😊 Love your videos.
Nordic-Persian culture would have interesting food, pickled herring with kebab.
Poor koifish... I hope you can get back on the wagon soon, Haesteinn addiction is so real
An army of paradox fans trying to take over Iraq would be a 21st century mix of the people’s crusade and the children’s crusade
The way Koifish tries to tell Hasting 'No, don't take over India'. 'Hastings, what are you doing?'.
Never though i would hear Peter Pringle in a Koifish video, amazing
I also want to say kudoes to your son for beating up King Charles the Pitiful to defend your honor! As he should! 😊👍 Seriously, that was GOLD and super wholesome! 🤣🥰
Haesteinn deserves to be the khan of Cumania with the capital in Slutsk and to have at least 10 lovers of every shade, shape and size
I was inspired by your conquer China playthrough to conquer every island
I want to conquer Mesopotamia with you Koifish
I’m pretty sure that French spymaster colluded with King Charles to kill me my first time playing as this dude.
He feared your power.
16:44 Every producer of films in Europe and America about Vikings be like:
This is the gaming equivalent of figure skating. Also 13:13 is basically "so you have a number in your name?"
Edit: wrote this when he just conquered Mesopotamia. I meant the whole island hooping to Arabia sounds incredible and that he's maneuvering the game mechanics
The midroll "fun facts" like at 5:59 have to be an Attack On Titan reference
Did Koifish just call Rollo a ramdom guy lmao 😂 the father of Normandie
4:49 Haestein, Mr. Steal your Heir
This is good a good video. Now I also want a top 10 jokes of the Bronze Age video though.
As an Iraqi Ty for this episode ❤❤
The blood of Loki runs through your veins.
The sumerian joke in the beggining 💀💀💀
"you my good sir, you stumbled across that adventure of a lifetime" 😭
Have you ever done a Haestin varangian adventure into the Byzantine Empire? That would be awesome!
Good vid koi!
I had a game where I witnessed ai controlled haestening live until 100 and conquered half of britain and left 3 kingdoms to his children... Absolute gigachad
Best CK3 TH-camr!
I like to imagine Hesting has gone on every adventure
Another great video!
Very good channel
I fully expect you to pick me up tomorrow on the cape fear river
10:40 as an Iraqi you nailed it the pronunciation of the city of Hit
Me: Trying to create the kingdom of Sweden in my first two generations.
Koifish:I'm going to recreate the Persian empire in the first generation. Just for fun.
"You know - I'm in a GOOFY MOOD."
I love these Haesteinn videos
you should play Haesteinn in a Middle Earth mod and make him Lord of Mordor
The adventures of haesteinn continues!
Koifish casually declaring war on Iraq to conquer Mesopotamia irl
24:30 "a random guy" and it's literally Rollo of Normandy
Love ur videos there always fun to watch 🙂👍
I want to see erik the heathen get an update with healthy trait added so he can live longer you can ask norway to vassalize you with a few more years added with mods then own all of scandinavia