My mother has been using this as a sleep aid for years. I'm only 3 minutes in but I get it now. Much love to anybody else just discovering this gem now. Like myself
43:06 - the poppadoms! LOL. This is where it really hits its stride! Karl's writing of a pointless story, Steve's perfect "kids' show narrator" delivery, and Ricky's reaction...still makes laugh all these years later!
Stephen Merchant is the Morgan Freeman of the comic world; his delivery of lines is simply amazing! Love this trio that brings laughter into my life every day!
@@Justcanadianjanjanexactly. Everyday I pray and hope for these guys to get back in the studio for some fun. It makes me so sad that they did this WAY back in early 2000s
The fact Gervais and Merchant, two award winning, professional comedians are in absolute stiches constantly to Karls pure honest unadulterated thoughts is a testament to the genuine genius that is Karl Pilkington!
Based on how this is apparently the ricky gervais show and not the karl pilkington show makes me think Steve and Ricky probably stole their jokes. They're willing to make a show playing elitism to their clear superior, not a good look
@@arealhuman826 it's called the Ricky Gervais show because Ricky is a much bigger name world wide than Karl. It is simply an advertisement choice. Ricky even acknowledged this and agrees it should be called the Karl pilkington show
The most underrated part is where at the beginning Karl says, "it'll only be relevant to me" and you can hear the excitement in Ricky's voice as he realises what's about to unfold.
Hahah. I love how excited Ricky got when be found it. Karl is the most whinging person. No wonder an idiot abroad was such fun. Especially Route 66. His comments about appearance on Glee.
@@OneAndOnlyYesMan0pppp0app 0pp pp0ppp0pp0p0pppp00pppppp0p has p0pp0pp0pp0ppp0pppppp00ppp0ppp0s p0ppppppppp to fopp0pppppppr poppy oil to pppppp00ppp0ppppppppppppppppp0p0pp0p0ppppppp0p0p pleaspppppp0pe isx what please pp0pp0ppp0pppppp00 ppppp0p0ppp0p0pppppppppppp0pe ppppppppppppppp is ispapplee pop update is and you have ppppp0pppppppp0ppp0p00p0 ppppppppp0 updates and pppppppppppppppis ppoppy and pppppppppppppppis pppppp0pppp0pppppp00ppppppppppp0pe Peterborough please oppo us p0pppppppppp0pe p0ppppppppppppppppp00ppp0p ppppppppppppp0ppppppp p0ppppppppp ppppppppppppp0ppppppp pppppppppppppppis is Peterborough is going well ppppp00ppp0pp Peterborough peppers ppppp00ppp0pp to pay on pple pop 9pp0ppp0pp0p0pppp00pp 9plus for people ppppppppp0 ppppppppppppp0ppppppp in my mind reader ppppppppp0ppppppp pppppppppppppppis ppppppppppppp0ppppppp pppppppppppppppis in ppppppppppppp0ppppppp ppppppppp0ppppppp ppppppppppppp0ppppppp and please pppppppppppppppis pppppppppppppppis poppy pppppppppppppppis ppppppppppppp0ppppppp ppppppppppppp0ppppppp please ppppp99l
I play this most nights at bedtime. I just skip to a random part, fall asleep within minutes due to pure relaxation. It will never get old. Ever, it's timeless.
The thing I like about KP is that he finds humor in the absurdity of life without always taking the piss out of people with personal attacks. This takes intellect.
This is twaddle !! Karl don't see this as humor in life. This is what he see, and believe in. I got his diary, bought in PDF. Year's ago. You can probably get it cheep today. It's called "happy slapping by a jellyfish" Her you hear one long edit. You should really hear the programs, first the radio programs and then the podcasts. So you also get the comment's to all this !! Happy holidays 🎅❄️
I love how Ricky first sighs "ahhh this makes it into the diary" thinking it's just a boring anecdote about receiving post, before falling off his chair pissing himself laughing 😂
@@A12H1I always took it as Ricky had already heard about it previously from Karl and he was sighing about the fact that Karl actually took the time to write it down in his diary. Hence why Ricky said “I don’t know why that’s so funny!”… as if it’s not the first time he had heard the Dilkington anecdote & cracked up over it.
Feel like Stephen is well and truly underrated on these podcasts. I feel he enables Ricky and Karl to provide the content and chips in with some of the best witty one liners
These podcasts saved me during lockdown! Constantly listening to Karl’s simple perspective on life, Ricky’s infectious laughter and Steve saying “Man alive Karl”; a cure for anyone feeling down.
You are off course right in that we always see the same side of the moon. And the reason is very simple: One side of the Moon always faces the Earth because the spinning period of the Moon is the same as the time it takes for the Moon to orbit around the Earth. Called "tidal locking" 🌍
I get up in the morning. Quietly, quietly, sneak downstairs.... fix myself a cup of coffee... slip back upstairs in sock feet... slip on my headphones.... and enjoy a very Zen-Like state, as I sip my coffee, and allow this show to soothe my soul. With every tiny sip, and with each ridiculous thing they rave about, I am reassured that life isn't as bad as all that. Maybe life is a wonderful place after all. This brings me a little bit of joy. Before the kids get up. Ahhhh, yes. And the cat is curled up next to my little heater. And all is right with the world.
So true. I literally described listening to these 3 as a therapy, to my actual therapist... and now he listens to them during his kid's soccer practice.
Not gonna lie I never normally watch/listen to a video thats this long, but this was absolute genius, pure and simple, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time :)
wish i could go back to discovering karl. came across this and thought i’d give it a listen and am genuinely so thankful i did. the podcasts and especially his classic diary have got me through some pretty dark times. just wish i could relive the night i first watched this video dying of laughter
George Cantstandya I can see what Jamie B means a little bit, though, cos Karl frequently grates on me and gets on my tits. But I still listen though. 🤷♀️
There are some serious comedians out there with some funny shit. But the xfm shows from these guys can actually lift your mood! Even every time you listen after it's always just as funny. It's one of a kind
@@TH-iy9yb if you if you y your 0yuy I 0yucuyyyyyy you y guy u u yu uy7yyy you guy guy you you you you you you you you you you,yuyyuyyyyyyyu t8 ygyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy8yyuuyyygy t8 yuyyyy78 yu uuyyyy
The amazing thing about Karl is that you can listen to everything then come back a few years later and start again! It's still hilarious and makes me actually laugh out loud!
Can’t hcigdo xx) goin c the xh c7) the only only can cget Tx) but git xit xit xiu Tx g)9, worry g,babe cochcocgc(cjust xjust cyou you you cxgx oocoxoxxgxg)9g, and g and x) the 9only g)9), it’s x,ooor is she coming xh) with a g),)),)9,99, I I mean gx😪 h)99,9()9),high)f cocgyg,6ufy(;68;;8,x8(9687()x8uyûy
Try a few years on the trot mate! I actually highly struggle going to sleep without an XFM podcast on now, it’s bad 😬😫, anyways, I’m off to sleep pal. Goodnight 🤣
2:16:44 - Karl's idea about "old news" is one that actually happened! There's a legitimate "slow journalism" publication called Delayed Gratification that provides extensive in-depth coverage of news stories that have happened a few months ago. Once again, Karl is surprisingly insightful!
OMGosh! I, literally, found out about the great Karl Pilkington four days ago. I have been lying in my bed listening and re-listening to his videos since!
People say Karl is stupid but I think he’s got an amazing way at looking at the world and so much is true.. I’ve never met anyone like him..he’s hilarious without realising it and success and fame has had zero effect in his personality
That point Karl makes around 1:15:04 about not having lie ins because insects don't. I actually think that's quite profound. If you look up Marcus Aurelius on getting out of bed he pretty much makes the same point
I think it's pretty silly to compare our daily lives to insects that just eat shit have sex and sleep. We have more than a few extra sources of stress compared to ants. People call worker ants "drones" for a reason.
Ok genuine question: why DO we all fall asleep with these on? Does it make me feel safe? A laugh before sleeping? Have I Pavlovianly conditioned myself to having to listen to these every night? Who knows 🤷♀️
1. KARL writes a diary. 1:44 2. While writing, he brainstorms an idea for a watch that countdowns your life. 3. RICKY reads the diary and then asks Karl to explain the logistics of this watch. 4. Karl provides an explanation that Ricky finds unacceptable 5. Ricky says "you can't just say "pop it on your wrist" and then continues to berate him, saying the idea isn't detailed enough. I would counter that, in a diary, a person has the right to write whatever they want. Karl isn't hosting a TED Talk, he's brainstorming in a journal that was never meant to be public (at first,) I love Ricky, but he was in the wrong here. He has no place to tell Karl what he can and cannot write. That always bothered me. Even brilliant people can be idiots.
absolute GOLD!! fuckin love these 3. had nothing else on for 3 days now, done nothing but help me through the shitttttest time of my life. thankyou!! we need more of the trio.
Mattsmith, it’s really surprising to catch yourself laughing out loud when listening to this…….even at such a low point in life….as some of us find ourselves …….
‘Was gonna treat Susanne to a trip to pictures to see BREAKback mountain. But then remembered there’s a programme on about 2 headed kid tonight’ genius 😂😂
"I hate meetings, 'cos I can't concentrate on what people are saying and I get bored. I think Ricky was bored too, as he started wrestling me..." I fell on the floor. Can you imagine that meeting?! Two grown men in their forties, start wrestling! 🤣😂🤣😂
Hahaha 😂😂 I think Karl needs tested for innatentive adhd. And Ricky Is jst off the scale mixed with everything! 😂 genius. Poor Karl doesn't stand a chance.
I rarely laugh out loud but this made me laugh harder than I have in a while multiple times. Thank you Ricky for finding this incredible man. Thank you Karl for being so genuine constantly. Thank you to the uploader for this masterpiece.
the greatest thing about his diary is the fact that he has these moments of extreme clarity and intelligence hidden within a gigantic wasteland of idiocy and made up words
I had to look this up. Suzanne and Karl together 25 years ! I wonder if Karl stays this deadpan all the time ?! I would not be able to function. I would sound exactly like Ricky, laughing to the point of passing out 24/7. Chapeau, Mrs Pilkington !
The decision Steve makes to read the diary instead of Ricky is so underrated and makes this the perfection that it is
100% right from the minute he talks about the invention
Agreed they are all brilliant. Always cheers me up 👍
Yeah Ricky can't string a sentence together! Steve has solid comic timing.
Talent.. Steve's voice and timing draws me in immediately. What a storyteller.
100%!!
Ricky's "Look how big it is!" in the beginning is my favorite thing. I've heard this so many times and it never gets old.
Stephen Merchant’s comic timing absolutely makes this for me...the line “but we never saw his Wife” and the way he says it always gets me 😂😂
She said he looked a mess, and was embarrassed to be seen with him.
It's their ruby anniversary tomorrow!
@@sarahleask2478 am my am al
@@sarahleask2478L am my am al
O
Smerch is the GOAT!
an unaware genius of comedy who makes comedy legends laugh in hysterics without trying. this is a man like no other
Lty
Right right right. No I'm just saying . What a fkn bore .
As it goes on he does play up his character, he's not as oblivious as you think.
Thinking Karl is not putting up a front is the height of comedy as well as ignorance.
@paulfleming2957 ur comment asked me to translate to English. I got "Lt". That was handy... lol
My mother has been using this as a sleep aid for years. I'm only 3 minutes in but I get it now. Much love to anybody else just discovering this gem now. Like myself
43:06 - the poppadoms! LOL. This is where it really hits its stride! Karl's writing of a pointless story, Steve's perfect "kids' show narrator" delivery, and Ricky's reaction...still makes laugh all these years later!
Stephen Merchant is the Morgan Freeman of the comic world; his delivery of lines is simply amazing! Love this trio that brings laughter into my life every day!
Not often that I see Morgan Freeman compared to a lanky co-writer with a worzel accent!
Even Stephen couldn't get the "Did I tell you about the immune system?" line out,
Steve and Karl… that would be a harmonious reunion back on the radio
@@Justcanadianjanjanexactly. Everyday I pray and hope for these guys to get back in the studio for some fun. It makes me so sad that they did this WAY back in early 2000s
Now I need a remake of Shawshank Redemption starring Stephen Merchant and Clive Warren.
I woke up at 3am this morning and this was still playing. I think Ricky's laugh woke me up.
A beautiful sound to be awoken by
Sure you are not a bender?
Happens to me all the time
@@Godzilla00X was is are of yyyýyýyyyyyyýyyýý
This literally just happend to me lol
Anyone else go to sleep to this? It’s so soothing for some reason 😂
Katie Yvonne it’s Karl’s voice just kinda puts me to sleep 😂
Katie Yvonne Been trying to figure that one out for years. Have to turn the volume down a bit tho because of Ricky’s cackle.
@@stevechristie2569 how old are you? (feel free to not answer, as I understand its non of my business)
@@DanceySteveYNWA 36 and a week
Yes! So it isn't just me.
Nothing helps me relax before bed better than Karl’s Diary. I listen to it most nights. Don’t think I will ever get bored of it 😂
Same hahaha just got back into it
Same
The fact Gervais and Merchant, two award winning, professional comedians are in absolute stiches constantly to Karls pure honest unadulterated thoughts is a testament to the genuine genius that is Karl Pilkington!
Based on how this is apparently the ricky gervais show and not the karl pilkington show makes me think Steve and Ricky probably stole their jokes. They're willing to make a show playing elitism to their clear superior, not a good look
@@arealhuman826 it's called the Ricky Gervais show because Ricky is a much bigger name world wide than Karl. It is simply an advertisement choice. Ricky even acknowledged this and agrees it should be called the Karl pilkington show
@@timothyclark9586 I didn't know they acknowledged the talent, thank you
@@arealhuman826 I mean, I wouldn't call it a talent per-say, he doesn't rehearse this, nor does he seem to know it's funny.
The funniest people are usually your mates, not a professional on the TV.
Its strangely calming listening to a man be utterly content with such a simple life. We could all learn something from Karl!
Defo. Although not sure his life was so simple once he met rick
L
If I ever met ricky
I would inform him all apes are monkeys! GRRRRR 🤦♂️🤣
01:22:00 They dead body did have a hair styling product in it! THAT ONES 100% CORRECT!
@@jbri1 t
'Suzanne didn't laugh when I said her arse had the same problem".
Comedy. Gold.
Ussu
Iisiihsihsiiisisfhsiding fii
Iisiihsihsiiisisfhsiding fiii
Sishihiddxihshiif
Ospur
Best bit of advice Karl gives is about relationships, "If it's 'ard, it's not right." 🙌🏻🙌🏻
Preach 🙌🏻
Totally right.🤣
Not the kind of advice anybody needs for their sex life tbh...
Makes me wonder what your relationships are like 🤔🤣
It actually works
The most underrated part is where at the beginning Karl says, "it'll only be relevant to me" and you can hear the excitement in Ricky's voice as he realises what's about to unfold.
“If moths had eyes” will go down as one of the great opening lines in a poem
The One Who Laughs 1:22:01
The One Who Laughs You’re very welcome!
Hahah. I love how excited Ricky got when be found it. Karl is the most whinging person. No wonder an idiot abroad was such fun. Especially Route 66. His comments about appearance on Glee.
Also, without planes men would have wings.
@@OneAndOnlyYesMan0pppp0app 0pp pp0ppp0pp0p0pppp00pppppp0p has p0pp0pp0pp0ppp0pppppp00ppp0ppp0s p0ppppppppp to fopp0pppppppr poppy oil to pppppp00ppp0ppppppppppppppppp0p0pp0p0ppppppp0p0p pleaspppppp0pe isx what please pp0pp0ppp0pppppp00 ppppp0p0ppp0p0pppppppppppp0pe ppppppppppppppp is ispapplee pop update is and you have ppppp0pppppppp0ppp0p00p0 ppppppppp0 updates and pppppppppppppppis ppoppy and pppppppppppppppis pppppp0pppp0pppppp00ppppppppppp0pe Peterborough please oppo us p0pppppppppp0pe p0ppppppppppppppppp00ppp0p ppppppppppppp0ppppppp p0ppppppppp ppppppppppppp0ppppppp pppppppppppppppis is Peterborough is going well ppppp00ppp0pp Peterborough peppers ppppp00ppp0pp to pay on pple pop 9pp0ppp0pp0p0pppp00pp 9plus for people ppppppppp0 ppppppppppppp0ppppppp in my mind reader ppppppppp0ppppppp pppppppppppppppis ppppppppppppp0ppppppp pppppppppppppppis in ppppppppppppp0ppppppp ppppppppp0ppppppp ppppppppppppp0ppppppp and please pppppppppppppppis pppppppppppppppis poppy pppppppppppppppis ppppppppppppp0ppppppp ppppppppppppp0ppppppp please ppppp99l
Karl just taking the names down of ancient philosophers and not bothering studying their work is the kind of comedy I love.
I just heard this part lol
ZERO ADS! You're a legend bro
just use adblocker anyways
Um excuse me wtf is your profile picture? XD
I play this most nights at bedtime. I just skip to a random part, fall asleep within minutes due to pure relaxation. It will never get old. Ever, it's timeless.
I'm surprised you can get to sleep. It's brilliant, but Ricky's laugh can cause an avalanche if you played it in the Himalayas
The thing I like about KP is that he finds humor in the absurdity of life without always taking the piss out of people with personal attacks. This takes intellect.
This is twaddle !! Karl don't see this as humor in life. This is what he see, and believe in.
I got his diary, bought in PDF. Year's ago.
You can probably get it cheep today. It's called "happy slapping by a jellyfish"
Her you hear one long edit. You should really hear the programs, first the radio programs and then the podcasts.
So you also get the comment's to all this !!
Happy holidays 🎅❄️
@watashi - Personally, I like it when Karl sometimes stands up for himself & takes the piss out of them as he's ALWAYS the butt of their jokes.
@eddiewinehosen Too true well he is a Manc innie .
@eddiewinehosen karl is both an absolute mong and a genius
@@VirtanenDK
True.. Karl doesnt find humour in anything. You have to understand things to find them funny.
He is funny but its not on purpose.
17:07 The "Mr. Dilkington" bit kills me every time.
Listening to Steve try not to crack up while reading it and then him and Ricky losing it.
It also makes it so much better that the opening line is about him being a valued customer and they don't even know his name lol perfection.
@@MrMongoose221 that really is a "you can't write this" moment
I love how Ricky first sighs "ahhh this makes it into the diary" thinking it's just a boring anecdote about receiving post, before falling off his chair pissing himself laughing 😂
@@A12H1I always took it as Ricky had already heard about it previously from Karl and he was sighing about the fact that Karl actually took the time to write it down in his diary. Hence why Ricky said “I don’t know why that’s so funny!”… as if it’s not the first time he had heard the Dilkington anecdote & cracked up over it.
😂😂😂 Not to mention,
…”Hello, Kime!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Feel like Stephen is well and truly underrated on these podcasts. I feel he enables Ricky and Karl to provide the content and chips in with some of the best witty one liners
Thinking this while re-watching these.
Fair.
@@lewishardaker886 00
Yeah, agree.
deffo needed someone to tell Ricky to shut up when Karl is drivelling on about ‘monkeys’
I always love it when they laugh at him and he says "Good point though innit?" lol.
“...and wondered, was it really a Big Bang or did it sound louder because there was nothing to drown it out?”
it's cause when he actually made sense it was like a special occasion
@@titus17 tbh for me most of the times he makes perfect sense, so now I'm worried that I'm crazy too
I haver to
@@K4R007 oi oooooooo wewwwwfrrfff
Ricky:s reaction when he heard Karl has kept the diary going is priceless. He just knew he had comedy gold in his hands.
He wasn't wrong 🤣
He knew the moment Carl confirmed he made a diary, that "Carl!" Is him begging because he knows how good its gonna be xD
This is hysterical. I have been howling for over 90 minutes and it keeps getting better!
It does. It just gets better.
These podcasts saved me during lockdown! Constantly listening to Karl’s simple perspective on life, Ricky’s infectious laughter and Steve saying “Man alive Karl”; a cure for anyone feeling down.
“You are the worlds best idiot” never a more insulting compliment has been said.
He loves Karl, he loves Karl
About the mirror on the moon, the same side does always face Earth. Ricky blew that one. One for Karl
Yeah i spotted that. The moon is tidally locked to earth. Karl 1-0 Ricky.
the moon spins you fools.
@@sadbasturd99 Not from earth it don't
You are off course right in that we always see the same side of the moon. And the reason is very simple:
One side of the Moon always faces the Earth because the spinning period of the Moon is the same as the time it takes for the Moon to orbit around the Earth. Called "tidal locking" 🌍
@@sadbasturd99 The way the oribits work, the same side always faces earth. When you look at a diagram it makes sense. its called a "Tidal lock"
I get up in the morning. Quietly, quietly, sneak downstairs.... fix myself a cup of coffee... slip back upstairs in sock feet... slip on my headphones.... and enjoy a very Zen-Like state, as I sip my coffee, and allow this show to soothe my soul.
With every tiny sip, and with each ridiculous thing they rave about, I am reassured that life isn't as bad as all that. Maybe life is a wonderful place after all.
This brings me a little bit of joy. Before the kids get up. Ahhhh, yes. And the cat is curled up next to my little heater. And all is right with the world.
APIEngineering that sounds wonderful. Enjoy, my friend.
You have a nack for writing. Ty
Then China happened....
this is beautiful, thank you
Dear Mr K Dilkington brought back too much laughter i havent had in ages cheers pal. 👍
@Anglus Patria - Apparently you're in the wrong place. People here like to laugh. And sleep. And laugh. And sleep. So don't talk shiite!
Anglus Patria....???🤔🤔!!!
Anglus Patria anglus
Please ignore this guy @anglus his in every comment just being horrible to people for no reason
They should play this in mental health clinics. This has literally been the absolute remedy when feeling depressed #ThankYouKarl
Definitely
Josh Higgins but Ricky’s laugh may just be what’s needed to push a depressed man to suicide. Haha. But no, I can see your point.
Josh Higgins wonderful comment. Laughter is so therapeutic man.
Corey Mesham uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
So true. I literally described listening to these 3 as a therapy, to my actual therapist... and now he listens to them during his kid's soccer practice.
I use this at night. If it's in my ear playing and I'm asleep, I don't have nightmares. Weird af. But it works every time. Til it stops. Haha
The 3 voices are very soothing. Karl is especially calming, while Ricky's laughter lifts my spirits. Best wishes
Lorillewelly…… exactly my life too……. weird af
Not gonna lie I never normally watch/listen to a video thats this long, but this was absolute genius, pure and simple, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time :)
I love Ricky's laugh. My favorite part of listening to this story. You can feel the deep, genuine happiness through his laugh
wish i could go back to discovering karl. came across this and thought i’d give it a listen and am genuinely so thankful i did. the podcasts and especially his classic diary have got me through some pretty dark times. just wish i could relive the night i first watched this video dying of laughter
Have you seen his series? An Idiot Abroad.
Have u watched Sick Of It Karls own show. Very funny and on TH-cam 👍
I remember my first listen through, i couldnt get to sleep i was laughing so much
Karl's words are magic. Steve's voice brings it to life. Ricky's cackle puts the icing on the cake 😅
Very well said sarahleask
Bang on 🙏🏼
The diary parts are hilarious.. Karl writes it.. stephan reads it and ricky laughs at it lol
The perfect comedy team.
@@frankG335 moon no onoonono onononooo onooooomooo oooo oo oo ooomoooooooooooooomo ooooo o oo ooor oooof ooogood oooomomomomoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Oooooooooo
@@frankG335 ooooo
@@frankG335 oo
The holiday at the start is surely one of if not the best part of this diary
"but we never saw his wife" cracks me up
It's the way Steve reads it out. His voice just brings it to life 😂
@@sarahleask2478 arssiryeurarssyyyyyy
Also, why on earth would you call a café tattoos?!
Rickys reactions are some of my favourite bits.
Lov it. Classic lmao. Karl is brilliant
@Jamie B - I love his humor but I hate the bullying side when he wants to get his way with Karl.
George Cantstandya I can see what Jamie B means a little bit, though, cos Karl frequently grates on me and gets on my tits.
But I still listen though. 🤷♀️
Karl is a true gem of a human, it's all natural, everything he says is a stitch
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There are some serious comedians out there with some funny shit. But the xfm shows from these guys can actually lift your mood! Even every time you listen after it's always just as funny. It's one of a kind
It was magic in a bottle
“They’ve done loads of tests and stuff”
Said whilst discussing a man who appears invisible in photos 😂
Jellyfish is 97% water, so why not give it another 3% and make it all water haha brilliant
My children found a jellyfish on the beach the other day. My eldest strolled up and said, "Give it another 3%, make it water," I was so proud!
😂
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The way Steve read the diary made it so much funnier. He just tuned into karl
Z--
I love how Karl tried to explain slugs are insects because they’re in the same gang as spiders… who aren’t insects either lol
Eight legs six legs eight legs six legs!
The amazing thing about Karl is that you can listen to everything then come back a few years later and start again! It's still hilarious and makes me actually laugh out loud!
Can’t hcigdo xx) goin c the xh c7) the only only can cget Tx) but git xit xit xiu Tx g)9, worry g,babe cochcocgc(cjust xjust cyou you you cxgx oocoxoxxgxg)9g, and g and x) the 9only g)9), it’s x,ooor is she coming xh) with a g),)),)9,99, I I mean gx😪 h)99,9()9),high)f cocgyg,6ufy(;68;;8,x8(9687()x8uyûy
A man after my own heart...
Agree totally. 👍
@@PerfectMask1 bbhhh h hhhhhhhbbhbhbbb;b9bbb;bbvbhbbhbhbbhbbbbhbbhbhbbbbbbbbhbbbbb;;bbvbbbbbhhbbhbhbhbbbbbbb;;bbhb
Try a few years on the trot mate! I actually highly struggle going to sleep without an XFM podcast on now, it’s bad 😬😫, anyways, I’m off to sleep pal. Goodnight 🤣
The Mr Dilkington saga has never once failed to make me chuckle out loud 😂😂😂
Smerch cracking up while reading about the horse thats been banned from its local pub had me in stitches
I can just imagine Karl sitting there in silence listening the whole time with his mouth open 😂😂😂
Honestly, just completed a 3 hour work session at 7 in the morning. It felt like 20 minutes listening to this gem.
2:16:44 - Karl's idea about "old news" is one that actually happened! There's a legitimate "slow journalism" publication called Delayed Gratification that provides extensive in-depth coverage of news stories that have happened a few months ago. Once again, Karl is surprisingly insightful!
cant sleep without kp
james baird KP looks after me
Same bro.. I listen to it help me sleep.. it's just good ol humour to create good vibrations.
Same. Puts a smile on the face and melts the days troubles away.
OMGosh! I, literally, found out about the great Karl Pilkington four days ago. I have been lying in my bed listening and re-listening to his videos since!
joshualucas No. His voice is soothing. Similar to the voice on Headspace.
People say Karl is stupid but I think he’s got an amazing way at looking at the world and so much is true.. I’ve never met anyone like him..he’s hilarious without realising it and success and fame has had zero effect in his personality
Ignorance is bliss
"Did the big bang just sound louder as there was no other noise to drown it out".
Gotta love Carl.
Love the fact that you edited this but still spelled Karl's name incorrectly!
Karl***
Carl Dilkington
‘I couldn’t say oh it looks like ya. Cos that would be a diss’ 😂😂😂😂
What's with the dislikes? Anything this man says is gold.
Wooz Wooz could have something to do with the fact he’s an act. A funny act, but an act nonetheless.
@@idrinkmilk282 He's not an act. You're factually wrong.
The brilliance of Karl is that even when he retells a story told previously he embellishes more or differently and makes it fresh and/or more bonkers
What makes it more funny is the way Steve reads it 🤣
steve delivers the diary really well..
He does, he is also quite good at letting Karl finish what he has to say.
*well
Karl should be delivering it tho
All that voiceover work lol
@@cameronkoontz6393 great comment, true fan
01:02:39 "Don't talk shit all your life" ... after numerous listenings throughout the years, these little variations keep me coming back
It's the details you leave out..
Two things I've adopted in my daily vocabulary:
1. [deep sigh] aa'ight
2. ... knocking about...
condensity
Airy chinese kid
Well Read Bull- And " innet?"
"Don't talk shiite!"
"He dun you again!"
"Play a record."
@@loritracy1385 foodage
Play a record
That point Karl makes around 1:15:04 about not having lie ins because insects don't. I actually think that's quite profound. If you look up Marcus Aurelius on getting out of bed he pretty much makes the same point
'Some new sea thing has been found'.
I think it's pretty silly to compare our daily lives to insects that just eat shit have sex and sleep. We have more than a few extra sources of stress compared to ants. People call worker ants "drones" for a reason.
@@titus17 Comparing insects to people is 'pretty silly'? What about comparing Karl Pilkington to Marcus Aurelius?!
@@titus17 loads of people just eat, shit, have sex and sleep! Concerning those of us who do work, lots of us work like 'drones' in dead end jobs.
@@ministryofanti-feminism1493 ll
Karl's brilliant "but then, where's the rest of the crocodile" and everything that follows it, has me in stitches. It's so well timed xD
“I don’t understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture.”
Classic
How can you sleep to this? I’m literally crying from laughing so hard 😂😂
"the hotel's a bit odd, iv'e never seen as many crossed eyed people in one location"
Was there a convention?
That is the funniest thing for me 😂
The best diary out there by a fair mile.
'Saw a bloke with his hands on the wrong arms."...mental love these 3
I am so sad that I reached the end. What a treat, this compilation 😅😅😅
Of all the different features they ever had, this is probably my favorite. Wish there was much more.
Ooo, chimpanzee that!
Carls view on abstract and modern Art is spot on. This one is called “a load of triangles”
Brother
Ok genuine question: why DO we all fall asleep with these on? Does it make me feel safe? A laugh before sleeping? Have I Pavlovianly conditioned myself to having to listen to these every night? Who knows 🤷♀️
I've Pavlovianed myself! I cannot sleep without them. I can be tossing and turning for ages, but XFM on, and I'm out like a light
It probably takes your mind off whatever you would be worrying about if you were lying there in the silence.
@@molitovv probably be thinking about the immune system or what sounds I'd like if I was a worm.
Dani S Worms! What are they doing? Get rid of them!
@@molitovvworms. do we need um?
I listen to these compilations as calming relaxation
Had a drink in a local bar - everyone sat around to watch one of the local cats lick it's bollocks HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA
Oven!
Karl the best
Why not?
@@jondon83 ioiiiikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkikokikkkkkkkkioikioioiioiioooiiiooiiiiikkkookikooookiiiioooooiooiioiiiiiooiioiiiiiiioiiioooiooiiokoiikkkkkoiiioiiioooiiiiio I’m iioiii
@@jondon83 iioiiikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkokiiiiiiioiik
I love how Ricky gets Karl’s permission for the diary to be read on the podcast. That led to this popular segment. And book
Can we buy the diary anywhere?
It’s called ‘Happyslapped by a jellyfish’ if I remember correctly.
Ann Frank knocking summat up in a loft is the best statement ever made 😂
Genius getting Steve to read the diary, makes it so much funnier.
Steve reading…Karl enjoying listening to his journey and Ricky pissing himself👍🏼
Dont know how I found this or who they are besides Ricky, but this is GOLD!!!
What have we learned? I'll start. Every noise has been used at least five times.
There's a shadow pushing people off their bikes somewhere in America.
A robin need a cock!
Don't solve problems
When you talk, you can't hear your own voice because you're talking over it! :D
We need oldness
1. KARL writes a diary. 1:44
2. While writing, he brainstorms an idea for a watch that countdowns your life.
3. RICKY reads the diary and then asks Karl to explain the logistics of this watch.
4. Karl provides an explanation that Ricky finds unacceptable
5. Ricky says "you can't just say "pop it on your wrist" and then continues to berate him, saying the idea isn't detailed enough.
I would counter that, in a diary, a person has the right to write whatever they want. Karl isn't hosting a TED Talk, he's brainstorming in a journal that was never meant to be public (at first,) I love Ricky, but he was in the wrong here. He has no place to tell Karl what he can and cannot write. That always bothered me. Even brilliant people can be idiots.
Nice to see new KP videos being posted :D
The thumbnail with karls face on samuel pepys body is perfect 👍 bravo
Probably the best video on the internet. Good night!
absolute GOLD!! fuckin love these 3. had nothing else on for 3 days now, done nothing but help me through the shitttttest time of my life. thankyou!! we need more of the trio.
same x
Mattsmith, it’s really surprising to catch yourself laughing out loud when listening to this…….even at such a low point in life….as some of us find ourselves …….
This is gold!!! What goes on in Karl’s head is a gift. 😂😂
Too. Many. Woooords.
I always listen when I am in a shitty mood. Makes me smile 😊
Sames
Its calming and soothing,very enjoyable. Simple thoughts in complex times.
i might be responsible for at 200+ of these views and i love it every single time…comedy gold for three hours…
Only 200? If you've been listening for 14 years like I have that's only just over once a month!
My go too ‘feeling crappy’ lift. Easy listening & makes me feel more focused about life. I’d hate to think how many times I’ve heard it. Xxx
I have seen an elderly, educated man wearing tweed, with his eyes closed, spouting wisdom. Amen Karl.
I don't know how ricky didn't get what he meant!! Or maybe I do from living in tunbridge wells. They are just how carl describes
Best podcasts ever!
100%agreed. Just found this 2wks ago an carnt get anuff. Bedtime listening 11,30pm 5,30am wide awake lmao. 😂😂😂. Karl is brilliant
I always ask myself "How can u fall asleep when Ricky laugh so loud ?"
Still listening it sometimes to fall asleep
Your mum
The size of the diary. "Look how big it is!" 😂. Love it. My nightly routine 👌🏻✌🏻💤
The comedic timing at 1:50:12 is incredible. And I’m 90% sure it was completely unintentional.
‘Was gonna treat Susanne to a trip to pictures to see BREAKback mountain. But then remembered there’s a programme on about 2 headed kid tonight’ genius 😂😂
"I hate meetings, 'cos I can't concentrate on what people are saying and I get bored. I think Ricky was bored too, as he started wrestling me..."
I fell on the floor.
Can you imagine that meeting?! Two grown men in their forties, start wrestling!
🤣😂🤣😂
Hahaha 😂😂 I think Karl needs tested for innatentive adhd. And Ricky Is jst off the scale mixed with everything! 😂 genius. Poor Karl doesn't stand a chance.
Karl wasn't in his 40s in the early 00s!
I rarely laugh out loud but this made me laugh harder than I have in a while multiple times. Thank you Ricky for finding this incredible man. Thank you Karl for being so genuine constantly. Thank you to the uploader for this masterpiece.
the greatest thing about his diary is the fact that he has these moments of extreme clarity and intelligence hidden within a gigantic wasteland of idiocy and made up words
I had to look this up. Suzanne and Karl together 25 years ! I wonder if Karl stays this deadpan all the time ?! I would not be able to function. I would sound exactly like Ricky, laughing to the point of passing out 24/7. Chapeau, Mrs Pilkington !
Could you imagine if Karl has been updating his diary all this time!?....That would be a best seller best Diary ever!