I love stories about best friends falling in love. I asked God to let us start off as best friends and fall in love with one another. I don't think i've met her yet, but I have faith this is how my love story will be.
I feel like you're limiting God in some way. Anyways, let God determine how you and your partner fall in love and not you. Remember, he knows what's best for you
I honestly prefer being direct. It's a simple yes or no question. Everytime I've tried the friendship approach it's ended as a friend zone or they got into a relationship n elsewhere. I just don't want to waste anybody's time. I'm not saying it's a bad approach just with me I'm not looking for female friends. I'm looking for a spouse.
@@cassandra7170 that happened to my discipler (a idler sister in Christ who helps me with my walk with God to ensure I'm not falling back). She liked a brother and they went on encouragement dates a lot and were getting very close but another sister in the church as well liked him and began asking for encouragement dates with him within months the brother asked the other sister out and my discipler said she was heartbroken because she really liked him and he was going into the ministry which is what she wants, a guy in the ministry cuz she too is chasing after the female ministry. But she did say, it's cuz she didn't guard her heart but after seeking Godly advice she learnt to let God and trust God and understood that the brother wasn't meant to be hers. She's in her 30's now and still waiting on God and she goes on encouragement dates but not as much as she should. I kinda feel she's accepted singleness which isn't bad, but she verbally says she still wants to get married but if it's not meant to be then it's fine. I definitely don't want it to be just friendship, I want to make it clear to a brother in Christ that I like him by giving him the hints by encouragement dates (constantly) or speaking about my spiritual journey and improvements so he can see I'm doing better than I was. But I don't wanna scare the brother I like by making it too straightforward before he gets the wrong desperate vibe.
I knew a guy who was friends with another guy who had a younger sister. They were good friends for years. The kid sister had a crush on her brother's friend. As it happened, the girl grew into a wonderful woman and her crush started paying attention to her. Several years later they were happily married. It does happen.
Same thing with me the guy that I had a crush on got married to another girl I was devastated when I found out about it but I'm happy for him he then changed his cell phone number and now I can't get a hold of him anymore:;(
Met a woman like that for 2 years. Thought she was the one. And the reality ended up in an awesome brother/sister friendship. Now letting God take full control over me and my emotions. He knows what's best for me better then I know myself.
Here is my feedback for each point: 1. I am focusing on the guy himself yes, but we have *so* much in common it is incredible! 2. I am friends with his friends, but mainly because I wanted to be friends with them too 3. I have "adapted" and tried new things that he likes that are also beneficial to me, but I haven't changed my personality. Thanks for the tips, Mark!
Great point Mark! Attraction may be the usual/first spark between a man and a woman, but when you put it through the friendship test, you determine if what you have is real and not just lust. Also, as you said, it gives opportunity to see if you have more in common. I think the term "equally yoked" without a doubt applies to same belief as Christians, but also if you have compatibility in other things in life. Physical is not all the matters. We have a cultural saying that refers to this (translated): "Even beauty can be tiring". Friendship will help you see what is what, who is who...as much as possible.
The challenge here is that as you are being a friend, someone else will come and go straight to the point. And in most cases you will end up losing out. I hope one can be able to find a balance here.
Not necessarily. If you truly enjoy someone's company, the willingness to wait will naturally come. People who wait it out are best friends and have the best relationships :)
@@graceclara3696 but there's truth with the above comment. If you read God's word, then you have to admit that they didn't have a dating culture. Their yes was yes, their no was no...and you could put in between, a not yet. Now, if someone is wanting to be a friend AFTER expressing their interest, then of course. But not stating that you are friends with someone because you see a potential relationship....then you're leading yourself up to being hurt.
It's true,this is life anything can happened,life is full of surprises,one time we are up one time down,however you have to try anyway otherwise you'll never have a chance to meet the one.
Marriage is the second most important choice of your life. Treat the process with respect and don't date anyone you haven't known for at least six months as a friend. If you rush in there, your going to be blindsided by emotion in this important choice. Dating people isn't like finding a free app , trying it out, and becoming disappointed if you don't like it. If you know he/she is the one, its because you took time to know someone that you think more of than most anyone on this earth. They don't have to be perfect (no one is perfect), but they must be a choice in your mind as well as your heart...
I started working full time in an architectural firm and the moment she walked into the room, I immediately can't take my eyes off her, my heart always races when she is around. I couldn't do anything about it that I even fantasize everyday. You were right, I have to consider her friends, our boss and other colleagues. I thought I was just too shy to tell my feelings for her, but all this time I am on the right track, everything has to start in friendship. Thank you for this, I can sleep at peace tonight. I'm continuing to pray for God's best for me. God bless you all.
I give up on love, period, but this is great advice, wish I would have known this sooner. But I will be kind always. Good luck to everyone looking I hope it/you finds you/it. 😊
I have that with a person whose about 25 years younger than me and he loves the Lord with all his heart as I do, so when we talk on the phone or text there's always this opening to pray for our families, and just talk about the Lord which is very beautiful. This one lives too far away and I hardly ever see him, but he's a beautiful friend, in the Lord Jesus Christ, and I'm very grateful for that. So this video made very great sense to me.... thanks a lot. God bless and love you and yours.😊😇🌹💞
Love can be so blind. I met this guy and he told me in the very beginning that he wasn't looking for a relationship and I told him that I was just looking for friendship. He was also divorced for a couple of years and me not knowing dumbfoundedly ignored that. But as time went on I started liking him and wanting to be in a relationship with him after he already told me from the very beginning that he was not looking for that. Come to find out that he also wanted sex from me and of course I obstained from it with him....THANK GOD THAT I DID! The sad ending is that we both blocked eachother after that. But hey, you live and you LEARN! Thanks Mark!
Also be yourself don't try to be into interest the other person has to impress them I think that's the largest mistake a person can make in early stages of dating not being 1000 percent honest about if things really interest a person or not for example if a guy tells me he's into the same band I like but never listens to them I doubt he's being truthful.
I would like to respectfully disagree with much of this video. Its really difficult for most men to be platonic friends with attractive women without any feelings developing and to me it feels a bit disingenuous to pretend to want to be friends specifically to see if you want to date them but not reveal those intentions up front. You're basically leading the other person on. You're also massively in danger of being put in the "friendzone" when the woman thinks you're not interested in her romantically. Women like decisive men who know what they want. I see dating as a way to get to know someone and see if they're marriage material, so my preferred approach is to spend a LITTLE bit of time getting to know them, and then ask them out fairly early on before you get into thst awkward stage. Then take dating slowly and use it as a time to really get to know them properly, but with intentions fully communicated.
Mark, I really want to commend you on your perspective for this video as well. You express yourself well and I admire how you describe the potential blurring of lines so to speak when attractive women and a male get stuck in this pattern of unrequited feelings that inevitably develop on one parties part and the messy situation that unfolds. It's definitely very common and I think it's preferable for the parties try to make their interest known earlier on so that way they aren't wasting their time on someone who's interested. Of course, that time period of revealing one's interest is unique to the couple, but in general I feel that after several weeks or at least a month that people should broach the topic so as to know how the relationship will progress and if it should. It's unfortunate that people aren't willing to date and get to know someone to determine if they are marriage material and as a result, they wind up making themselves so lonely when they push that person away and they then push others away who may be good out of fear that they may get hurt. Personally, I'm still interested in eventually getting married and going through the preliminary stages of dating and getting to know a person deeper before determine if I want to commit to them. It's just been very difficult to find a good man. I'm trying to not lose out on hope, but it's hard to remain optimistic when I'm trying to be open as possible and showing signs that I am interested only to be rejected and ignored. sigh..Best of luck to all of us out there trying to find good love.
Crazy this came out because I have a friend I speak to every day only that he lives long distance but we are just friends but I love talking to him he makes me laugh and brings a smile to my face when we speak I want his friendship even if we don’t end up being together
I do appreciate and your Apply Gods Word advice is on point. Cant go wrong when God's word is applied. Thank you for putting out information that will help us with our relationships
@@justinTime077 "And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell." Matthew 5:30 Said by Jesus when He was talking about lust. Anyway, masturbation can always lead to more forms of sexual sin that can diminish sexual pleasure in marriage. It is also a way of telling our Creator "This is my body. I will do what I want with it, regardless of what You think."
I struggled to agree with the common interest aspect of friendship. That implies that if one party loses interest in the common interest then the friendship is over. I think emotional attachment via open and honest communication is what keeps people together, the activity is the setting that allows this to take place whether it be surfing, attending church or concert going.
I know this is 4 years old, but I watched another video of yours, and you said ask the Lord if he wants me to pursue this person, and the holy spirit said friendship which is good for me.
This again is a very good video. For the longest time in my life I have been wondering where and how to get to know decent people, marriage material, so to speak. God had an interesting way of liberating me and opening my eyes - so I healed in this area. Now I am praying and trying to figure out of how to be friends first when I meet those cool people. 😅 Guys, as an extrovert I never thought that would be such new kind of adventure for me. Never stop learning, I guess. 😂🎉
Me and my best friend we've been 13yrs.. Our relationship being bestfriend is stronger and stronger... I said if i want to marry someone... Like him... Same also to him... From LDR he want me to go with him... To help him in daily work... Now im thinking to sacrifice my job and carreer just because of him... But im happy to do it...
I respect your thought on this, and I think you communicate very well. Every time I watch a video of yours it’s great quality. For this topic I believe being genuine is key. I’m with Dr. Cloud on this. You can read more on his book, “Boundaries in Dating.” You have to be clear. If you want friendship be their friend. If you become their friend because you want money, car rides, or to later date them, that is deceptive. Your friendship is false because it is just a bridge to get what you truly want. Mark even mentions this at 5:15 👍 I’m telling you, if a girl wants to be your friend she doesn’t want to date you. They don’t like you. That goes for girls as well. Just be clear, “I like you and we should grab some dinner.” If they don’t want to do that then they are not interested in you. Those are just my thoughts. Thanks for your love for the Lord! And I look forward to more videos. :)
Hi Mark, do you have a video about pacing yourself in friendships/early dating? Never been past the early dating phase (usually school or life events got in the way) and I'm thinking it's a good thing. I want to learn more about healthy benchmarks and ballpark time-tables, sharing enough but not too much too soon, how to navigate that balance.
I like all your videos! This one was also very insightful! My major take away…a good starting point for a healthy foundation…can we be good friends? Do we enjoy each other’s company? Cuz otherwise why would we want to be with each other?! Thank you for always using the Bible as the ultimate guide and for breaking down all these relationship issues! GOD Bless you and your wife and family!
I don't know how to be friends 😢 I guess it's my autism. There was this girl I felt a real connection with, as in we think and act very similarly in situations. But she didn't really want to have anything to do with me, not even to just be friends.
God bless you😇 I think if you get to know her or his friends it should be with limitations cause you dont know who is really out there for your good interests. Also you dont want them all in your business. You should have privacy in your relationship. Communication is very important it shows your interested and you get to know each others on a one to one basis. And take one step at a time so each step is given firm.🍂
Mark, This video is very helpful, and we as humans tend to forget the friendship part of the relationship! Keep up the good work, and keep the videos coming!!!! Thank you & God bless!!!!! 😇😇😇
I am so happy I found this channel! I always learn practical ways of christian living. And your videos are very relative to me! Praise God for you. God bless you!
Good video. I was told by a smart person that to become friends with someone your attracted to as more then friends basically be a good friend but add sexual tension/flirting in the friendship so you don't get friend zoned
Man, for awhile I was watching alot of your videos. Now it seems like every video you do is about dating or relationship advice. I think your a really good preacher and I know God uses you but I also want to say that you are catering to a popular subject rather than individual issues that can be referenced to the Bible and how to apply them in our lives. Im not saying that relationship advice isnt important but I feel like your getting hung up on a popular topic because of veiwership rather than taking the annointing of God to speak to his children through you His vessel.alot of your videos had convicted me and were thought provoking and encouraging and moat of all biblically accurate. I am subscribed to you and I get a notification everytime you release a video and every notification I have got lately has been about dating or relationships its getting old and I used to look forward to your videos now I just check my notification shake my head and move on. I know Im just 1 person so it might not matter to you what I think but maybe it will and I could see somethings that I see as usefull and fullfilling to feed my hunger for the word.
Have you considered this is what the Lord has placed on his heart and he is being obedient? He isn't here to cater to what we want, he is here to give the message God has given him. More grace to you brother.
I love this channel. Thank God for your life Brother Mark. Your videos are helping me a lot in this season of waiting. God bless you and your family always.
My story is a bit similar to your @mark ballenger parents divorced when I was a child. When I was 19 moved to canada and there my journey begins in christ was born in a hindu family, but the grace of God reached out to me, saved me, healed me, bought me out of darkness. Now I'm 24. I would be like be friends with the godly women before moving forward for dating.
Friends is all I can get to!!! Super frustrating that no female that I am interested in wants me in the same way. Does God want me to be lonely and miserable forever? I have been begging Him for over 19 years for a wife or girlfriend/significant other, only for there to be either no choices that interest me or unreciprocated feelings. One of my biggest sources of pain and disappointment with God and life in general.
If a girl friend zones you, she’s just not interested. It’s pretty simple. If you’re not sure you can always put some feelers out and she’ll let u know. Girls usually know when the guy friends want something more. If she hasn’t reciprocated, she’s probably just ignoring it so as to not make it weird.
If I heard this before I decide to tell my short time friendship and one sided infatuation, that I want to work towards a relationship some day with them before trying to be friends, perhaps I would still be trying to make female friends. Sadly I'm done trying, and the only woman who will ever be my friend, for now, is the ones who try to get to know me. She said my height wasn't attractive to her and that's why she will never see me as relationship material, and that she thinks I'm very good looking but, trying to build a relationship would be meaningless to try.
I knew my crush since kindergarden. We are 1 year apart I'm grade 8 and she is grade 7. We were best friends in kindergarden and we may have crushed on eachother. She is beautiful, and her personality is amazing. Any advice to bring back our friendship that we had in kindergarden? And over time go beyond?
There’s this boy I really like and my mother said to be his friend first. He seems really nice but I can never find a way to say hi or talk to him :( it’s just so hard for me too cause I have a hard time being friends with guys than girls
Hey Mark! I really like your videos and that god is speaking truth through you! Is it okay to meet several guys at the same time and have friendships with them on a one to one base while I'm interested in one specific guy? I just don't wanna hurt one of them, but spend a good time with them and encouraging one another in Christ. So, there's this one guy I really like and I feel like I betray him if I'm meeting my other guy friends and also the other way round. I just wanna be open to what god offers me and don't wanna stick to that one guy in my head and focusing on him too much and forget all the other good friendships I have. Hope you understand what I'm trying to ask.
Nothing against Mark, and nothing against C.S. Lewis. But forget the friendship. Trust God. Do what The Word and The Spirit leads you and forget all of the rules of the Singles Group. Once I got out of it, I became phenomenally successful with women. In a church or "religious " setting, unfortunately most men and women are putting up a front of what they think everyone expects them to be.
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I love stories about best friends falling in love. I asked God to let us start off as best friends and fall in love with one another. I don't think i've met her yet, but I have faith this is how my love story will be.
I feel like you're limiting God in some way. Anyways, let God determine how you and your partner fall in love and not you. Remember, he knows what's best for you
@@natex7651 Not necessarily ....well, I beg to differ; I mean it is just a prayer right ... the will of the father will still prevail.
I would rather start with the friendship phase 1st. 🤔
That's how I was too
@NG Chi Hong Marcus Kyle indeed, but it should be the foundation.. 🙏🏾
Me too
I honestly prefer being direct. It's a simple yes or no question. Everytime I've tried the friendship approach it's ended as a friend zone or they got into a relationship n elsewhere. I just don't want to waste anybody's time. I'm not saying it's a bad approach just with me I'm not looking for female friends. I'm looking for a spouse.
@@cassandra7170 that happened to my discipler (a idler sister in Christ who helps me with my walk with God to ensure I'm not falling back). She liked a brother and they went on encouragement dates a lot and were getting very close but another sister in the church as well liked him and began asking for encouragement dates with him within months the brother asked the other sister out and my discipler said she was heartbroken because she really liked him and he was going into the ministry which is what she wants, a guy in the ministry cuz she too is chasing after the female ministry. But she did say, it's cuz she didn't guard her heart but after seeking Godly advice she learnt to let God and trust God and understood that the brother wasn't meant to be hers. She's in her 30's now and still waiting on God and she goes on encouragement dates but not as much as she should. I kinda feel she's accepted singleness which isn't bad, but she verbally says she still wants to get married but if it's not meant to be then it's fine. I definitely don't want it to be just friendship, I want to make it clear to a brother in Christ that I like him by giving him the hints by encouragement dates (constantly) or speaking about my spiritual journey and improvements so he can see I'm doing better than I was. But I don't wanna scare the brother I like by making it too straightforward before he gets the wrong desperate vibe.
I knew a guy who was friends with another guy who had a younger sister. They were good friends for years. The kid sister had a crush on her brother's friend. As it happened, the girl grew into a wonderful woman and her crush started paying attention to her. Several years later they were happily married. It does happen.
Same thing with me the guy that I had a crush on got married to another girl I was devastated when I found out about it but I'm happy for him he then changed his cell phone number and now I can't get a hold of him anymore:;(
Met a woman like that for 2 years. Thought she was the one. And the reality ended up in an awesome brother/sister friendship. Now letting God take full control over me and my emotions. He knows what's best for me better then I know myself.
Here is my feedback for each point:
1. I am focusing on the guy himself yes, but we have *so* much in common it is incredible!
2. I am friends with his friends, but mainly because I wanted to be friends with them too
3. I have "adapted" and tried new things that he likes that are also beneficial to me, but I haven't changed my personality.
Thanks for the tips, Mark!
Great point Mark! Attraction may be the usual/first spark between a man and a woman, but when you put it through the friendship test, you determine if what you have is real and not just lust. Also, as you said, it gives opportunity to see if you have more in common. I think the term "equally yoked" without a doubt applies to same belief as Christians, but also if you have compatibility in other things in life. Physical is not all the matters. We have a cultural saying that refers to this (translated): "Even beauty can be tiring". Friendship will help you see what is what, who is who...as much as possible.
Amen Rose, so true. Friendship can help people see clearly rather than jumping in too quickly
Rose Morales absolutely you got that right on Rose.
🔥💎🔥
My goooooosssshhhh, having a connection with people is so tiring and complex. Others do it so easily.
Persistence is key
@@jpspartan3930there’s also a fine line between that and being creepy/toxic tho, gotta be aware
This gave me the exact thing I needed. Find the spark by trying to be friends. Focus on the common interests not on the person. So good Pastor Mark!
The challenge here is that as you are being a friend, someone else will come and go straight to the point. And in most cases you will end up losing out. I hope one can be able to find a balance here.
Not necessarily. If you truly enjoy someone's company, the willingness to wait will naturally come. People who wait it out are best friends and have the best relationships :)
@@graceclara3696 but there's truth with the above comment. If you read God's word, then you have to admit that they didn't have a dating culture. Their yes was yes, their no was no...and you could put in between, a not yet. Now, if someone is wanting to be a friend AFTER expressing their interest, then of course. But not stating that you are friends with someone because you see a potential relationship....then you're leading yourself up to being hurt.
It's true,this is life anything can happened,life is full of surprises,one time we are up one time down,however
you have to try anyway otherwise you'll never have a chance to meet the one.
Marriage is the second most important choice of your life. Treat the process with respect and don't date anyone you haven't known for at least six months as a friend. If you rush in there, your going to be blindsided by emotion in this important choice. Dating people isn't like finding a free app , trying it out, and becoming disappointed if you don't like it. If you know he/she is the one, its because you took time to know someone that you think more of than most anyone on this earth. They don't have to be perfect (no one is perfect), but they must be a choice in your mind as well as your heart...
this is so good! Thank you for sharing these profound words of wisdom
RIGHT ON TIME...
Amen, glad to hear this :)
Same here, Queen! You need special prayer? You can send me a private message if you like. :)
I started working full time in an architectural firm and the moment she walked into the room, I immediately can't take my eyes off her, my heart always races when she is around. I couldn't do anything about it that I even fantasize everyday. You were right, I have to consider her friends, our boss and other colleagues. I thought I was just too shy to tell my feelings for her, but all this time I am on the right track, everything has to start in friendship. Thank you for this, I can sleep at peace tonight. I'm continuing to pray for God's best for me. God bless you all.
How did it go?
I give up on love, period, but this is great advice, wish I would have known this sooner. But I will be kind always. Good luck to everyone looking I hope it/you finds you/it. 😊
I have that with a person whose about 25 years younger than me and he loves the Lord with all his heart as I do, so when we talk on the phone or text there's always this opening to pray for our families, and just talk about the Lord which is very beautiful. This one lives too far away and I hardly ever see him, but he's a beautiful friend, in the Lord Jesus Christ, and I'm very grateful for that. So this video made very great sense to me.... thanks a lot. God bless and love you and yours.😊😇🌹💞
Amen Patricia :)
Love can be so blind. I met this guy and he told me in the very beginning that he wasn't looking for a relationship and I told him that I was just looking for friendship. He was also divorced for a couple of years and me not knowing dumbfoundedly ignored that. But as time went on I started liking him and wanting to be in a relationship with him after he already told me from the very beginning that he was not looking for that. Come to find out that he also wanted sex from me and of course I obstained from it with him....THANK GOD THAT I DID!
The sad ending is that we both blocked eachother after that. But hey, you live and you LEARN!
Thanks Mark!
Love isn't blind, infatuation & lust often are though.. 🔑
Also be yourself don't try to be into interest the other person has to impress them I think that's the largest mistake a person can make in early stages of dating not being 1000 percent honest about if things really interest a person or not for example if a guy tells me he's into the same band I like but never listens to them I doubt he's being truthful.
Mary Swenson 👍🏻😎
Can you talk about toxic relationships? Does people ever change there ways? How can our hearts love someone who is confused about life in general?
Great suggestions, I will add this to my list. God bless!
Will work with you
Why do you have a glow that makes me happy?! lol
Core Conservative people who have god in them they will have a “GODLY” glow
I'm not very good at the friendship part. Gotta work on that
It’s also fun to “jump in” and later find out you’re not just lovers (I don’t mean sexual!! But bf/gf) but you’re also great at being friends ❤
I would like to respectfully disagree with much of this video. Its really difficult for most men to be platonic friends with attractive women without any feelings developing and to me it feels a bit disingenuous to pretend to want to be friends specifically to see if you want to date them but not reveal those intentions up front. You're basically leading the other person on. You're also massively in danger of being put in the "friendzone" when the woman thinks you're not interested in her romantically. Women like decisive men who know what they want. I see dating as a way to get to know someone and see if they're marriage material, so my preferred approach is to spend a LITTLE bit of time getting to know them, and then ask them out fairly early on before you get into thst awkward stage. Then take dating slowly and use it as a time to really get to know them properly, but with intentions fully communicated.
Mark, I really want to commend you on your perspective for this video as well. You express yourself well and I admire how you describe the potential blurring of lines so to speak when attractive women and a male get stuck in this pattern of unrequited feelings that inevitably develop on one parties part and the messy situation that unfolds. It's definitely very common and I think it's preferable for the parties try to make their interest known earlier on so that way they aren't wasting their time on someone who's interested. Of course, that time period of revealing one's interest is unique to the couple, but in general I feel that after several weeks or at least a month that people should broach the topic so as to know how the relationship will progress and if it should. It's unfortunate that people aren't willing to date and get to know someone to determine if they are marriage material and as a result, they wind up making themselves so lonely when they push that person away and they then push others away who may be good out of fear that they may get hurt. Personally, I'm still interested in eventually getting married and going through the preliminary stages of dating and getting to know a person deeper before determine if I want to commit to them. It's just been very difficult to find a good man. I'm trying to not lose out on hope, but it's hard to remain optimistic when I'm trying to be open as possible and showing signs that I am interested only to be rejected and ignored. sigh..Best of luck to all of us out there trying to find good love.
Crazy this came out because I have a friend I speak to every day only that he lives long distance but we are just friends but I love talking to him he makes me laugh and brings a smile to my face when we speak I want his friendship even if we don’t end up being together
I do appreciate and your Apply Gods Word advice is on point. Cant go wrong when God's word is applied. Thank you for putting out information that will help us with our relationships
My pleasure Claudia! God bless :)
✨💎✨
This was really eye-opening. I'm picking up that book because I need to learn about friendship.
Amen!
which book?
@@hpal C. S. Lewis - The Four Loves
Video on what to do when you crave physical touch (hugs, hand holding, cuddling, etc) NOT SEX.. but you are single... what are you supposed to do :(
Great question, I'll see what I can do about making a video about that
Thank you so much! Thank you also for all of your great content!!
👍
@@justinTime077 Masturbation is a sin in Christianity... so, No, She can't try that
@@justinTime077 "And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell."
Matthew 5:30
Said by Jesus when He was talking about lust.
Anyway, masturbation can always lead to more forms of sexual sin that can diminish sexual pleasure in marriage. It is also a way of telling our Creator "This is my body. I will do what I want with it, regardless of what You think."
Keep up the good work, great content! 🤗God bless you!🌼
Thanks Eva! God bless you too 👍
ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger You are welcome and thank you also Mark!😇🌺
Agreed, I'm really enjoying this channel. :)
👍
I struggled to agree with the common interest aspect of friendship. That implies that if one party loses interest in the common interest then the friendship is over. I think emotional attachment via open and honest communication is what keeps people together, the activity is the setting that allows this to take place whether it be surfing, attending church or concert going.
That's what I want to being good friends, then see where it goes from there, liked this alot
I prefer being friends first. It let you see if you want to be in a relationship with that person.
I know this is 4 years old, but I watched another video of yours, and you said ask the Lord if he wants me to pursue this person, and the holy spirit said friendship which is good for me.
This again is a very good video.
For the longest time in my life I have been wondering where and how to get to know decent people, marriage material, so to speak. God had an interesting way of liberating me and opening my eyes - so I healed in this area. Now I am praying and trying to figure out of how to be friends first when I meet those cool people. 😅 Guys, as an extrovert I never thought that would be such new kind of adventure for me. Never stop learning, I guess. 😂🎉
This is actually what I’ve been praying for lol
God bless!
The problem is some of us struggle with friendship in general, regardless of gender, romance, etc.
Me and my best friend we've been 13yrs.. Our relationship being bestfriend is stronger and stronger... I said if i want to marry someone... Like him... Same also to him... From LDR he want me to go with him... To help him in daily work... Now im thinking to sacrifice my job and carreer just because of him... But im happy to do it...
I respect your thought on this, and I think you communicate very well. Every time I watch a video of yours it’s great quality.
For this topic I believe being genuine is key. I’m with Dr. Cloud on this. You can read more on his book, “Boundaries in Dating.” You have to be clear. If you want friendship be their friend. If you become their friend because you want money, car rides, or to later date them, that is deceptive. Your friendship is false because it is just a bridge to get what you truly want. Mark even mentions this at 5:15 👍
I’m telling you, if a girl wants to be your friend she doesn’t want to date you. They don’t like you. That goes for girls as well. Just be clear, “I like you and we should grab some dinner.” If they don’t want to do that then they are not interested in you.
Those are just my thoughts. Thanks for your love for the Lord! And I look forward to more videos. :)
Hi Mark, do you have a video about pacing yourself in friendships/early dating? Never been past the early dating phase (usually school or life events got in the way) and I'm thinking it's a good thing. I want to learn more about healthy benchmarks and ballpark time-tables, sharing enough but not too much too soon, how to navigate that balance.
New subscriber and I’ve been binge watching your videos!! God bless you for the ministry you’re pouring into others🙏🏽
Amen, welcome Frankline B! So glad you are enjoying the channel!
-Mark
I like all your videos! This one was also very insightful! My major take away…a good starting point for a healthy foundation…can we be good friends? Do we enjoy each other’s company? Cuz otherwise why would we want to be with each other?!
Thank you for always using the Bible as the ultimate guide and for breaking down all these relationship issues! GOD Bless you and your wife and family!
I don't know how to be friends 😢 I guess it's my autism.
There was this girl I felt a real connection with, as in we think and act very similarly in situations. But she didn't really want to have anything to do with me, not even to just be friends.
Beautiful words coupled with great advice! God bless you guys!! ❤️❤️
God bless you😇 I think if you get to know her or his friends it should be with limitations cause you dont know who is really out there for your good interests. Also you dont want them all in your business. You should have privacy in your relationship. Communication is very important it shows your interested and you get to know each others on a one to one basis. And take one step at a time so each step is given firm.🍂
Thanks for sharing this!
Mark, This video is very helpful, and we as humans tend to forget the friendship part of the relationship! Keep up the good work, and keep the videos coming!!!! Thank you & God bless!!!!! 😇😇😇
Thanks Jacqueline! 👍
I am so happy I found this channel! I always learn practical ways of christian living. And your videos are very relative to me! Praise God for you. God bless you!
Thanks HisAbigail! And may God bless you too :)
GREAT WORK AGAIN PASTOR MARK! Love it! TY SO MUCH FOR ALL YOU DO!
You are welcome:) God bless!
Good video. I was told by a smart person that to become friends with someone your attracted to as more then friends basically be a good friend but add sexual tension/flirting in the friendship so you don't get friend zoned
Here's a video about the friend zone :) th-cam.com/video/QTXex0wQ5LY/w-d-xo.html
😏
Ahaha that’s so good
This is good and timely. I praise God ❤
That's great if they actually make time to be your friend.
This is perfect, thank you so much! Your videos are always so helpful and teach me so much
👍
Man, for awhile I was watching alot of your videos. Now it seems like every video you do is about dating or relationship advice. I think your a really good preacher and I know God uses you but I also want to say that you are catering to a popular subject rather than individual issues that can be referenced to the Bible and how to apply them in our lives. Im not saying that relationship advice isnt important but I feel like your getting hung up on a popular topic because of veiwership rather than taking the annointing of God to speak to his children through you His vessel.alot of your videos had convicted me and were thought provoking and encouraging and moat of all biblically accurate. I am subscribed to you and I get a notification everytime you release a video and every notification I have got lately has been about dating or relationships its getting old and I used to look forward to your videos now I just check my notification shake my head and move on. I know Im just 1 person so it might not matter to you what I think but maybe it will and I could see somethings that I see as usefull and fullfilling to feed my hunger for the word.
Have you considered this is what the Lord has placed on his heart and he is being obedient? He isn't here to cater to what we want, he is here to give the message God has given him.
More grace to you brother.
Thank you infinitely that exactly what I need friendship is the base of a healthy relationship with commun values
This is not easy but willing to learn the right way 😅 thanks Mark
Every question I have is here on your channel!! I love it!
Awesome videos
Wow~ I needed to hear this in this moment. This advice is definitely for me. Thank you~
Amen, so glad this was in time for you :) God is good
Thank you. This video was very helpful!!👍🏾😊
Amen, so glad it was helpful to you! God bless :)
I love this channel. Thank God for your life Brother Mark. Your videos are helping me a lot in this season of waiting. God bless you and your family always.
Pearl SW sending prayers to you, my sister 💕
Void Thanks so much. Much appreciated 🙏🏾
thanks for great guard lines..now I know how to act with the man I love
This was much needed. Thanks and God bless! :)
God is good!
Thanks for this video brother, God bless you all
Fantastic video! Very needed and rare
Thank you so much for the tips
My story is a bit similar to your @mark ballenger parents divorced when I was a child. When I was 19 moved to canada and there my journey begins in christ was born in a hindu family, but the grace of God reached out to me, saved me, healed me, bought me out of darkness. Now I'm 24. I would be like be friends with the godly women before moving forward for dating.
Word Mark! God bless 👍🕇
So good, thank you 🙏
Thankss Mark!! 🙌
THIS IS THE EXACT VIDEO IM LOOKING FOR. thanks man
What if I'm in love in friend who is in relationship with another girl? Should I cut him off or be patient friend and if it's ment to be it will be?
You help me out a lot and Jesus name Amen.😅
Friends is all I can get to!!! Super frustrating that no female that I am interested in wants me in the same way. Does God want me to be lonely and miserable forever? I have been begging Him for over 19 years for a wife or girlfriend/significant other, only for there to be either no choices that interest me or unreciprocated feelings. One of my biggest sources of pain and disappointment with God and life in general.
Put Jesus First ...
Vertical Love Relationship with Jesus Christ of the Bible Is of Utmost Importance and is Eternal
This was really helpful. Thank you! :)
Well explained insights. Thanks for sharing 👍
This video is right on time..but at the same time, don’t get friendzoned my guys 😂
If a girl friend zones you, she’s just not interested. It’s pretty simple. If you’re not sure you can always put some feelers out and she’ll let u know. Girls usually know when the guy friends want something more. If she hasn’t reciprocated, she’s probably just ignoring it so as to not make it weird.
Great stuff Mark!
Good work Mark
What happens if you experience love at first sight ? Can u trust that this is the person god has chosen for u ?
Bro me too!! I never believed in love at first site untill well it happened to me.
Are u both still in "love" with her..?
So much wisdom.
God bless, I'm glad it was helpful :)
Wise Mark. Another great video. 💒 God Bless you dear Brother.
This was practically helpful. Thanks.
This is excellent advice!
You have some great points here...
Thank you 🙏🏾 this helped me a lot
Thank you, Mark!👍 Would you tell us about interests you share with Bathany? Would you say that you and your wife are best friends?
I would say we are best friends. We enjoy lots of the same things like hiking and being outside. Perhaps we can do a video on this :)
That would be great!
If I heard this before I decide to tell my short time friendship and one sided infatuation, that I want to work towards a relationship some day with them before trying to be friends, perhaps I would still be trying to make female friends.
Sadly I'm done trying, and the only woman who will ever be my friend, for now, is the ones who try to get to know me.
She said my height wasn't attractive to her and that's why she will never see me as relationship material, and that she thinks I'm very good looking but, trying to build a relationship would be meaningless to try.
Good work!
That’s really awesome! Can you make a video about - can Christians who are from different culture or ethnicity date and marry!
I'd probably just tell the person straight up.
Thanks a bunch :) I think this has definitely helped me understand the whole thing better.
I agree with with all these points.
I knew my crush since kindergarden. We are 1 year apart I'm grade 8 and she is grade 7. We were best friends in kindergarden and we may have crushed on eachother. She is beautiful, and her personality is amazing. Any advice to bring back our friendship that we had in kindergarden? And over time go beyond?
Wow you are awesome this is the first time ive seen you and i already subscribed. Thank you so much,
There’s this boy I really like and my mother said to be his friend first. He seems really nice but I can never find a way to say hi or talk to him :( it’s just so hard for me too cause I have a hard time being friends with guys than girls
Excellent video. You are blessed
Glad to hear it was helpful, God bless you as well :)
Hey Mark! I really like your videos and that god is speaking truth through you!
Is it okay to meet several guys at the same time and have friendships with them on a one to one base while I'm interested in one specific guy? I just don't wanna hurt one of them, but spend a good time with them and encouraging one another in Christ. So, there's this one guy I really like and I feel like I betray him if I'm meeting my other guy friends and also the other way round. I just wanna be open to what god offers me and don't wanna stick to that one guy in my head and focusing on him too much and forget all the other good friendships I have. Hope you understand what I'm trying to ask.
Great advice!! God bless!!
Can you do more videos for single moms/dads?
Good Stuff, ThanX
Nothing against Mark, and nothing against C.S. Lewis. But forget the friendship. Trust God. Do what The Word and The Spirit leads you and forget all of the rules of the Singles Group. Once I got out of it, I became phenomenally successful with women. In a church or "religious " setting, unfortunately most men and women are putting up a front of what they think everyone expects them to be.
What if you’ve been friends for about 6 years and you would like now to pursue that friend?
Here's a video on that topic th-cam.com/video/2xbZs-Cwcz0/w-d-xo.html
wow needed this!
Yes.. Until she friend-zones you..