WHAT WE WISH WE KNEW BEFORE MARRIAGE // *emotional* Q&A //
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2024
- Funny and emotional "what we wish we knew before marriage q&A", lord. lol I honestly can't believe we got two videos up this week...Perfection is the enemy of Progress. I think that quote (and God's help) is what helped is get this video up on time! We realized we were spending 80% of our time, on 20% of the details and it was taking up way way way too much time...And our desire to make everything perfect was actually killing our joy of creating for you all which lead to us not creating content... so not only were Tori and I being discouraged but we were eliminating our ability to encourage you all and two negatives don't always make a positive. So we are letting go of that desire for "perfection" and just allow progress to tell a special story and testimony... if you're still reading this let me explain why that is important. It's important because we are constantly being perfected in Christ. But if we allow the judgement of others, or who we "think" we're supposed to be to cancel what Jesus is doing inside of us then we are missing a great opportunity. There is NOTHING wrong with admitting that we are a work in progress. WE ALL ARE. Don't let that be a negative reality in your life. Be thrilled that you are growing! Tori and I are growing with you and cannot wait to see who we all are in a few years, but in the mean time let's just focus on being who we are right where we are!
We love yall,
Chad & Tori
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If you want a part 2, make sure to comment below and let us now your questions!
yesssss i would love as many videos as possible you guys, can't get enough of what God speaks to me through y'all!
awww hahah that's so sweet! Wish we could do daily videos but that would be so much
Hi, yes I would love a part two, once I finish the video I'll comment with any questions I have.
Sweet! Can't wait!
Please do a part 2 to this video! 💛 I enjoy all your videos, but advice videos have a special place in my heart!
“You don’t marry someone for the way they make you feel, you marry someone for the way you want to make them feel”
You guys give the best advice ❤️📝taking notes for when I get married
Facts love is about serving others , Jesus is the prime example of Perfect Love
I agree, that is something I needed to hear.
Really hit home 💯
Bad advice.
Actually, that´s more of a male´s perspective, bc it has to do with giving.. THe female side, which is in the receiving end regarding men (regarding children it´s the opposite, just watch nature), is more about the way they make you feel.
I never really understood what honoring your wife look like until Chad explained it. I cried with you guys, thank you for the vulnerability and honesty!
Aww dang that is so sweet!
I love that quote Tori "if you tried to use my past against me it is like robbing a house that I don't live in anymore" Loveee this
'Perfection is the enemy of progess' got to me.🙃
Got to me too!
Omw yes!!
is omw "oh my word?" because for me it was always "on my way" lol
@@ToriAndChad definitely oh my word!! 😂😂😂
hahah I've been living a lie
A married person once told me that marriage was created by God to make you holy not happy which ultimately makes you happy. Super helpful perspective
yeah I love that!!! So good!
Ideal world: it's happy, and it's also holy so you're even happier ❤️ make sure it's a healthy relationship before you take the marriage commitment stage cos it shouldn't be unhappy and you have to battle through it to your own detriment xx Chad and Tori seem to have it right 😍❤️
Immediately cracking up in the beginning as Chad holds his tiny coffee cup with his tiny hand 😂😂😂
hahah behind the scenes i almost dropped the cup
And when we thought Chad couldn't surprise us more😂 here it comes
hahah I have so many things up my tiny sleeves
Omg love you 🥰🥰❤️❤️
@@karaurbaniak5997 Hey girl lol!!!! 😍😘💜🥳🙌🏻🎉
This just raised my standard for my future relationship. Thank you for this 🥺❤️
Aww dang that is powerful!
As a Christian i also cant stand the "we're just talking" culture. I feel like people do that to have the benefits and fluffy romantic feelings of dating but without actually putting any commitment or seriousness forward. I feel like it cheapens the whole process of getting to know someone. Thats just an outsiders opinion though. Maybe there is another reason as to why so many young people now a days prefer to "talk" for long periods of time versus actually committing to a relationship
True true true!
“There is nothing more important than honoring my spouse.” -Chad Masters I guess when I grow I will make sure to do that! Great advice! Even before dealing with the IRS and paperwork. Family is so important 🥲😊
Thanks for seeing the important of that!
wooo i cried. didn't see that coming.
I absolutely agree with what Chad said regarding "hanging out." Man up and ask her on a real date, don't be the guy who just "hangs out"
"Using my past against me, is like robbing a house I don't live in, anymore."
😍💪🏼💞🏆 couldn't agree with that more. Thank you for sharing that, Toriiiiii! 💜
Chad on people who want to define relationships: "That's them just protecting their mental health." BOOM. Exactly! Noncommital, wishy-washy, boundary-less romantic relationships really aren't mentally healthy.
TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL ANNA! hahah thanks for seeing where I was coming from!
@@ToriAndChad LOL, You were throwing around wisdom, and I was catching it!
i totally agree!! with the last guy i 'dated' we decided to be casual and it messed my head up sooo bad bc i was kissing him but we were friends, sooo hard to deal
LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK 😭
Without defining the relationship you’ll be dragged down a path of confusion and anxiety cos you’ll always be wondering🤞🏼
"there's like distresso, espresso, and lungo" 😂😂😂
Thanks for being so vulnerable, love you guys!
hahahah happy to be vulnerable about my espresso order lolol
QUESTION:
So this is a little out of the normal relationship question but I’m wondering how a friend/best friend should be, act, and think once their friend gets married? Like what’s the new role of the friend, how should the friend adjust to the new boundary, what IS the boundary? Would love to hear your insight on this! Also, any advice for the friend during this transition? Hope this makes sense😅
!!
I really hope you get an answer soon! But I'm just going to say, once you get married, your spouse is supposed to be your best friend. Your closest person. The person who gets to know you best and learn about you the things you wouldn't intentionally share. I'd say as a best friend with a friend getting married, to respect that space between your friend and their spouse. Be there when you're called upon and respect that the spouse will at times be "the best friend" your friend needs. Doesn't make you less of friends.
Such a GREAT question!!!!!! I really hope they answer this. I never knew how to deal with this scenario. 🤔
This is so great!! Thank you for being so bold in the Lord🙌🏻🤍
Things/RED FLAGS to know you are NOT ready for a relationship?
That is a great one to answer!
@@ToriAndChad Thank you for your response! I would love to hear y'all perspective on that how it looked for you:) I am trying to be intentionally single and have a couple of goals set for myself to really grow in but I want the motivation to not just be to eventually date but to honor God. That motivation has been so much more healthier for me!
In the mean time check out a book called "boundaries in dating" or watch our boundaries video on dating!
@@ToriAndChad Right on! Will do :)
Really good question! I'm trying to figure out which things I have to work on personally before I'm ready to enter into a relationship
Had to watch twice because it was THAT good and I wanted to really soak in what y’all shared.. especially around idolizing marriage, that hit home hard. God bless you both, THANK YOU for sharing your light with us 🙏🏼🤍
Aww thanks for helping us get the views up!!! hahah We love you!
can I just say you are the most wholesome people! I'm literally tearing up at what Chad said about hugging Tori 😭😭
I love how you guys talk about logical boundaries for people who have religious values and how you prioritise the importance of the marriage. Alot of people in this day and age downplay 'friends with ex' and the hanging out with a member of the opposite ex. All back to genuine intention and honouring your spouse. I'm a Muslim and what you've shared are aligned with our general values too. May God bless your marriage lovingly and sharing for goodness.
Nothing wrong with a good cry from Tori or Chad. Or me... 🥲
hahah pass the tissues
Or the entire fam lol
hahah need to buy more tissues!
Hi Chad and Tori! I grew up Catholic and I’m currently 17 and haven’t felt that close to god lately, you guys have inspired me so much!! Thank you for being so brave and inspirational about your faith!
Aww wow that is powerful! thanks for sharing that with us!
@@ToriAndChad I’m currently debating on restarting my TH-cam channel, I want to help other teens who aren’t that close to god and just grow together, any thoughts ?
Yes! Just make sure you're doing it to bless others and God and not to worry too much on the "success" of the channel!
After having time to watch any TH-cam videos for months, this video really have me some good perspective as most of your videos do!! As a single person, you constantly impart little nuggets into my life!!
Chad and Tori, your hearts inspire me!! The love you have for Jesus and each other is so amazing, your wisdom blesses me!!
About to watch all the videos I missed from last year and I know I am about to receive some good perspective and guidance from all those videos!!
Bless you guys!!
Aww thanks for being here sweet Whitney! You are beyond kind! Hope you enjoy all the videos!!!
This video was so good. I love that Chad said to meditate that in Christ alone we are perfect. Love your videos ❤️
Aww thanks for saying that! Happy you love the videos!!
Yes!! I’m 7 months into marriage and have used so much advice from y’all, thank you 🥰
Awww y’all got me tearing up with y’all 🥺🥺 chad made a great point about honouring your loved ones, such a great reminder☺️ love these type of sit down videos, we want a part 2!! God bless y’all ❤️
awww that's so sweet lol God bless you too Isabella! let us know any questions for part 2!
@@ToriAndChad how much talk is too much talk during the "talking stage"? a lot of talk in there hahah
hahah there is so much talking!
Thank you so much for being real and compassionate about these subjects, to us and to each other. It’s really wonderful to see a real and beautiful relationship like yours - wish you all the best!
aww thank you for sharing that you felt like we were compassionate! That is so sweet!
Quote:
If you don't heal what hurt you, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you...
Thirsty doesn't mean having interest to date someone, thirsty means that someone is so desperate that would be after a bunch of people and date anyone, instead of being selective
The description 😭guys
Thanks for speaking what few people feel ashamed to speak and I would like to let you guys know that you're healing so many hearts
Jesus is using you in a way
God bless your souls 💞💞
Aww wow this was so powerful for us to read... woweowow... thanks for saying all of that!
Chad: "Its about protecting yourself. I don't anticipate ever getting into a wreck, whenever we're driving, but I put on my seatbelt. You guys should do the same for your relationship." 🔥🔥 That. Is. A. Word.
I loved the vulnerability in this video. Y'all are always vulnerable, which I appreciate. But for some reason, when your tears flowed, mine did also and I felt like it was just me sitting there and talking with you both. What a special thing ❤
Interesting thought: I've been lit up about Michael Todd's sermons lately. 🔥 But ive found it cool that in your last video, Chad said "what a time to be alive"... which was a recent sermon Pastor Mike preached. Then in this video, Chad said "I wish someone would've told me", which was another title to a sermon Pastor Mike preached a couple years ago, but I had just come across yesterday. Things im watching are being repeated and oddly aligned 🤔 (God is good)
Aww wow! Thanks for sharing all of that and encouraging our vulnerability! Also thanks for sharing in that vulnerability! And that is wild that that is repeated! hahah God is confirming things!
@@ToriAndChad Your channel is seriously one of the greatest out there. I see the Lord in what you're both creating and its where I want to be. Also, yes! I love when God confirms things, especially unexpectedly and it catches you by surprise.
dang you're gonna make me tear up again!
@@ToriAndChad haha! Not the intention, but as you know, tears are cleansing. Maybe you need to have a good cry. I always feel better when I do, especially while inviting God into it. Oh! And can I request a prayer video? I love when you both pray on camera. The intentionality in your guys' words, is always so beautiful.
Questions for Part 2: What books/podcasts/Bible verses helped your understand relationships?
That would be a great series in itself!!!
I love 'Apply God's Word' youtube channel:)
I’m in this place Chad, of even if God doesn’t offer me a spouse I’m okay. My purpose is in Him. My peace and life is in him. Love it
If you try using my past against me. That's like robbing a house i no longer live in.
Yaas. I love this. My second favorite quote after *"if we've ever had romantic relations you're not my ex, you're a sin and I rebuke you IJN 😂"*
It's a joke but for real.
Never been this early!!! wow! Thank you for the rawness and vulnerability but also the diversity with the videos!!! :)))
Love that you are here so early! And also for the love on the different style of content!
10:10 "Trying to use my past against me is like robbing a house I no longer live in" Gold
I just got to the part in the video where y'all shared about things you wish you knew before marriage. This is more for Chad but Tori too I want you both to know that the things you had to learn on your own and may possibly feel like you could have done better the past two years just made an eternal impact on so many relationships that are not even in the picture yet. HOW COOL IS THAT?! Praise God that he redeems our story and uses it to impact others! Ok I'm gonna go back to watching the rest of the video now haha
You guys are really out here speaking the true word of God and changing lives. I walk away both convicted and filled with wisdom after every video. You both are a blessing. And that podcast is 🔥. Whoever hasn’t checked it out yet is MISSING OUT!!
Thank you for these wonderful videos. You advice Chad as a husband really helps me a lot. I am in a long distance relationship and have not seen my partner in more than a full year. 😢 I have been struggling, but have joined bible study at my local church and I am putting all my trust on the lord and trying to be more intentional. God has a destiny for us and knows what is right for my partner and I. I learn to accept, stay present and enjoy this moment as God would want. 🙏😌
Please do a video about things you wish you knew before marriage. That is a great topic and would be helpful. Thanks!
That is going to be an entire series!!!
SOO many golden nuggets of truth in this video🤩
Thank you guys so much💞🙌🏻🙌🏻This really brings changes in our lives and Tori when you spoke about”having a personal relationship with God then being full enough to pour out onto the other person”🙌🏻🙌🏻💯that hit home....and what Chad spoke about was so true...I’ve seen this changing my relationships,when I think about the other person more and how I can be the best for them and they do the same...changes the whole relationship🙌🏻
Yes please do a part two!!! This was so encouraging and God is using you guys in a mighty way!!
You both have impacted me so much already and Chad, man I have been really able to relate to you a lot and you have helped and encouraged me so much for my future!
Love you guys!
Wow you're so encouraging! Thanks for saying all of this!! We appreciate it! We appreciate you and all the love!
Well. Wow! It's a definite yes to a part two from me, and I've been intentionally single since 2014 as I needed to work on trauma from my past. So much wisdom here to help me in the future should I get into a new relationship. Love you guys!!
Aww yay! We love you too!!!
You guys should do a video on advice for being an intentional friend with those living near you and those that live far away!! Love you guys 💗
I love your vulnerability and silliness.
The whispering scene was so funny 😆
hahah we laughed so hard at that!
Loved this so much!! I recently went through a breakup and we’ve both had different ideas of what friendship after a breakup looks like so I loved hearing y’all’s take on that!
Definitely do a part 2🙌
part 2 would be great!!!! you guys have changed my perspective on relationships, love etc. So glad God showed me you guys !!
I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS. Y’all are so inspiring and makes us value Christ and relationship so much in the right way. Lots of support and prayers to you guys 💛
Aww sending our love to you too! Thanks for being here with us!
Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven!✝️
This is the first video of yours that I’ve seen and I absolutely loved it. Such wise words! Lately I’ve been truly learning to surrender my desire of marriage to Christ because I found myself idolizing marriage. The advice Chad gave regarding this topic really resonated with me so thank you for that! Christ is enough 🙌🏽🙏🏽 I just subscribed. Looking forward to future vids!
Same
So beautiful the way y’all both love each other 🥺 I hope it always stays that way ❤️
we hope so too! hahah
Haha it will, just keep filling each other’s love tank like you are right now 🙂
So so good! Personally I’m not a Christian but these resonated with me so much 💘 Have the best day ahead yall!
Aww that is really sweet of you to say! Thanks and we hope you have a great day as well!
you guys are so genuine and honest! i love that about y’all! praying for you guys always!✨
I am so Happy and grateful that I have come cross your channel. I believe that God shows his signs and messages through things and people a person might run across. And for me, I think you are one these signs and messages which whisper to my heart. You have changed me and enlightened me with your grace, love, and wisdom. And Your faith and how strong it is does inspires me a lot. I cannot wait to watch your next videos and listen to your future broadcasts. I love you so much. A love from the other side of earth. Shout out to you :)!!
gosh I'm finally catching up on your videos after way too long😭 you guys have actually made such a big impact on my life with growing my love for Christ and making me more like him. Love you and your videos💜 (also questions pending but yes to part 2)
i jusst finished watching and this is so wild, i just watched the "do you think the ONE exists?" video 2 times today and once yesterday xD....and i ill dm you guys my question! great video! Hope you guys have a calming and peaceful rest of the week!
I love that!!! We hope you also have a calming rest of your day!
I would love a part two!
You have so much wisdom to share, it always makes me smile 😊
Any specific questions?!?!
@@ToriAndChad do you guys think that people should reach a certain age before they marry? Like, at least 20 or something?
Because sometimes I think people are a lot more grown up when they hit they're twenties, even if they are christians :)
I think it has a lot to do with the maturity level rather than their actual age! haha I say this with love but I have met 18 year olds that are better prepared for marriage than some married people in their 50s lol. I think some maturity things like being confident in onself. Not relying on others to fulfill or complete you etc... is important to know if someone is ready or not! But obviously getting married young is definitely a risk because you don't always know who you are yet!
@@ToriAndChad I love how you mentioned it more based off maturity than their actual age.
@@ToriAndChad thank you for your answer!
That was so awesome. You guys make me me believe more in Christ. God bless youu ❤️❤️
Y'all had me crying 😭 hahaha thank you Tori and Chad for this vid and I loveddd the description!!
I had myself crying hahah thanks for reading the description!!!
Your realness and wisdom are cooler than Chad's little cup.. and that says a lot.
hahah the only thing that is cooler than it!
8:25 Chad's reaction to being reminded of the friendzone - hahaha.
😂
This may go without saying but I think Tori likes to say "we were friends 4 years before dating" because she wouldn't want others to think that you only knew each other for 7 months before getting married ahahha. That sounds a bit scary but when you know you two were friends for AGES before, it's not scary :P Hope that helps.
Love you guys! Thank you for your transparency & wisdom ❤️
we love you too!!!
Definitely part 2 plus a complete video if you can about “what you wish you knew before married”.
I'm drinking a celsius watching Tori drink a celsius hahaha :)
hahah getting energized while getting engergized!
definitely a part 2 pl❤️ it’s always amazing listening to you guys!!
We love you guys, love what you’re doing❤️
We appreciate you so much! thanks for being here with us!!
Wow, God really knows how to speak through you both. 🤍 thanks so much... I needed this.
You guys are the best
no question if we want the part 2 or not! GIVE US ANYTHING YOU CAN 🥺🥺🥺
Topic idea! How to re-enter the dating scene after divorce... like after 13 years of not dating the dating scene has totally changed! Like best Christian dating sites, and all that jazz.
Something that happened in this video I feel really called to point out to you guys. In scripture over and over it talks about loving others. Taking our eyes off of ourselves and helping those around us. You guys seemed to have been dealing with an issue before filming. Chad touched on it. Then while on camera you were vulnerable enough to open up about it and there seemed to be this necessary moment of healing for you two. Bonding. It was beautiful to witness. Gives me hope for my own marriage one day. :)
My point is that week after week you both take the time to help others navigate so many aspects of their lives. You have purposely helped me see my worth through Christ. But I see how our Father still works in YOUR lives too- because in aiming to help others you both are being slowly united stronger too.
Its beautiful how He works.
I pray for every single beautiful soul watching this video. ❤
Thank you for this video. I’m having a rough time in my relationship with God and you guys encouraged me to stop procrastinating and get back on it. So yea, thank you. God bless you and your ministry!
Keep the faith sis✨💕 you might like to draw inspiration from the early fathers
Yaay so happy you guys uploaded! Your videos are always a blessing 💕
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and a half and we know we want to marry one day, we have prayed about it and God has confirmed it in a lot of ways ❤️
We are not in a very good financial situation, I'm still studying and he doesn't have a steady job, so our future together seems like it is really really far away from us... Did you guys talk about that before getting married? Or did you guys get married and then started to look at your finances?
Love you guys ❤️❤️❤️
We definitely did talk about that stuff before hand! But we also didn't want worldly things to keep us from Spiritual commitment... But that plays out different in everyones relationship! We just made sure we were open about finances before hand but we also did it in a very loving and patient way...so we felt comfortable to be open but also not embarrassed if we didn't feel like we were in a good spot financially.
Are your Boundaries honouring Jesus and setting you up for success? definitely loving this advice thanks guys !x
YESSSS We love that sweet Hope!
🔥🔥🔥 Thank you so much for doing this video! It is always so encouraging to hear y’all’s insights! I pray that God will bless you and strengthen you every day.
Spill the tea or should I say... spill the Lungo 😏😂 #dadjokes all the way 🙌🏻
hahah love it!!!!
Hiiii I started to follow your videos and I am addicted to it. Thank you for sharing your stories. You are blessing many people and helping us to get closer to God! God bless you!!!
So much gold in this video! I loved it!! Please make a part two 🥰
this was recommended to me at the perfect time, God bless you both 🥺💛
Such wonderful advice for young couples after being married for 39 years. It's obvious God is in the center of your lives and in your marriage!! Thank you for your authenticity!!
First of all, I will always love the honesty and vulnerability you guys have. I felt like I was having a conversation with friends and drinking coffee (or matcha). Thank you for sharing your perspective on things and experiences. It requires a level of confidence and freedom in God and I think knowing your identity and you guys do that. I definitely cried. I was very emotional. I wish I knew a lot of things. Definitely learned a lot. I can’t wait for part 2. Also praying for you guys. I was listening to your podcast and I felt this heaviness that I don’t know if you are feeling it. But praying that God can show you and remind you He is in control of your storm and He is right there with you. Love you guys from Honduras 💕
Aww we love you! So cool to see you are from Honduras! Also Tori loves Matcha!!! and thank you for sharing that you have learned a lot and like the podcast... there is definitely heaviness having your prayers means so much and it definitely ministered to us!
Just wanted to say I've been watching y'all's videos for a few months and it's given me a whole new perspective on life in general. Y'all have brought up a lot of things that I probably wouldn't have thought about if I haven't seen y'all's videos. So thank you for that! Keep up these great videos!
Oh wow that is huge... thanks for sharing that man! Really appreciate it!
Hey, chad and tori! Thank you so much for this video. As I am currently in a dating relationship, the advice you gave in this video opened up some things that have been on my heart for my while, and just being able to find myself within Christ and not someone else either that be a partner, friend or family. I really feel God has been using you two to speak so much wisdom and I seriously appreciate it ☺️🤍 YES to part 2!!!
oh wow! Thanks for sharing that!!! We can't wait to make you a part two!
yals love is sooo deep and vast and wide, I can just tell from that cry 😭🤍 (made me realize never to settle)
Yes a part two! Thank you for your tips!
thank you for being here!!
Question for part 2! How to not find your identity in the relationship (not get too invested/too quickly) if that makes sense!
This also needs to be an entire series or a separate video lol it def does make sense!
@@ToriAndChad Thank you for understanding. It's something I have worried about but not sure if anyone else has!
Yes many people worry about it!!!
@@erika1235 hey Erika, you're not alone! I also worry about it 🥴
tiny hand 👐 never gets old 😂
it doesn't for me either!
Yes please, to PART 2 😁
QUESTIONS
How to be safe when dating. How to have a healthy investment without forgetting to consider your safety.
How to discuss the unfortunate reality of divorce some marriages face. How to be intentional about keeping your marriage from getting to that even as Christians considering a lot of Christians unfortunately experience divorce.
Did you guys do premarital counselling? Some gems you could share? Have you done any marriage counselling so far?
ive been wanting some questions asnwered and this came up! havent watched it yet but i knows its gonna help!
We sure hope so!!!
Oh my goodness I LOVE YOU GUYS' realness. It is so encouraging. Keep that up
I too can't stand the whole "hanging out" situation. Like if you want to hang out with someone first to see if you want to later take them on a date that's fine. But I have a problem with hanging out yet acting like it's a date. It definitely sends mixed signals.
I really liked this guy last year and we "hung out" a few times but he always paid and even picked me up from my house & walked me to my door. I was very confused about his intentions. It didn't work out but I learned a lot from that "situationship" with him.
the small cup is so cute!! miss u guys!
I thought so too! hahah
You guys have me crying. I love you two
part 2 please; your wisdom is much needed!
Yesss
This was so good and so helpful!!! I would love a part 2 to this!!
Let us know if you have any specific questions!!!
I am watching a 3rd video of you guys consecutively, I am definitely subscribing.... I feel the belonging already😘💞 haven't liked anyone this fast before... where have you been🤔🤔 I am so in love with your marriage
PART 2??? YUSSSSS.
Let us know your questions!!!
Insightful video!👏🏼👏🏼
aww thank you for sharing that!