Don't forget the most important part: make sure all of the riddles we're writing will rhyme in languages that won't be invented for thousands of years.
@@yarpen26 invent: create or design (something that has not existed before); be the originator of. Languages are created (they don't occur naturally), they have not existed eternally, and they have originators. I see no issue.
@Bradley Golliver I hope that wasn't the effect. "Invent" was an unconventional word choice, one influenced unconsciously by my personal experience. It wasn't a totally unreasonable response to assume it was a mistake. But English is a beautiful language, and humans are capable of inventing new meaning and nuance in it (even by accident) in ways that enrich our collective experience.
@@GlaurungTheGreat literally languages do occur naturally, that’s why we speak them, English wasn’t invented, it came from old English, which came from Proto Germanic, which came from Proto Indo European
@@celtofcanaanesurix2245 They occur naturally in the sense that they don't require a governing body for development, but they don't grow on trees. New languages are invented by speakers of the old language. Modern English was invented by speakers of Middle English, which was invented by speakers of Norman French and Old English.
A professional archeologist once told me that the traps Indie dodges would be much more valuable to archeology than the trinket they're guarding, since they represent advanced ancient engineering that _still works._
For sure. Any civilization with even basic metallurgy technology could make a golden idol, but how many could make pneumatic arrow launchers or spinning blades or pressure-plate activated spike walls?
"I don't know how to build generational loyalty to a task like that." And that was the line that got me to laugh so hard I had my first asthma attack in five years. Well played.
@@LordBloodraven sounds like it added nothing to your life or your documentary in 2059 about your murder and therefore shoulfnt be a part of your life and is skipped over in the documentary
So I was wondering who pays your salary. Did they leave a family tree of accountants behind taking charge of the finances ? Or they just put in a permanent payment order on their bank accounts?
@@VCRider There are actually two treasures. One was sold in order to cover payroll. How do you think the ancient key necklaces got into someone else's hands?
I now want a series about mundane jobs needed for things like this: the arrow reloader, the guy in charge of keeping all the torches light, the person that feeds and replaces all the dangerous animals, and so on
Don't forget "Team Torchlighter". You'd need generations of them too, so those " _centuries_ old unexplored catacombs" have PRE-LIT torches burning when the adventurers show up. Safety first, so nobody trips or sets off a booby trap UNTIL they've got a torch in their hand..
Also, oil and torch replenishment. Oil degrades over time so you need a guy to come replenish the oil and swap out the torches that have become desiccated from being in the dry air (or soggy from being in a damp, old cave). Come to think of it, all those indigenous cultures that exist around the treasure must simply be there just for maintenance. "What doe we call this tribe?" "Janitors".
In DnD there is an extra spell for that. "Continual Flame" It lights a small lightsource with a cold flame that does not burn fuel and most importantly never extinguishes until snuffed out manually.
It would be nice if you could get your arrow reloaders to feed the scorpions while they're down there. People often assume that the pits of snakes or scorpions will just sustain themselves for millennia, but that is a huge oversight I've decided.
@@i.b.640 As someone that had 4 Emperor Scorpions as a Teenager...no...no they do not live an absurdly long time without being fed. They die after a couple days of no food.
You're the one to cry! Most people don't even know us giant boulder path cleaners even exist and I don't even want to mention how much bat shit we have to clean every day.
"Building generational loyalty to a task like that." This is probably my favorite one to date. The explanation highlights the absurdity of the background. Nicely done.
That's precisely why friendship is so important. When you make friends with someone, you gain their trust. So you can use them as a meat shield and they wouldn't suspect a thing.
There's a good short story in there somewhere about the life of a guy who reloads the arrows in ancient tombs, pushes the big boulder back up the track, closes all the secret doors back up and mails the secret key-amulets out to Goodwill so they can be lost to history again.
I'd totally read that story. Year 5: "So it's that time of year again, I make the journey to this forgotten temple in the middle of the jungle, with my arms full of arrows, oil canisters, snakes and scorpions. I still have the paper with what I am dubbing the 'maintenance code' so I can get behind the scenes of these traps and not make myself unalive while I'm doing my job."
@@drollfurball2863 I mean, it's for many generations, so it's a family story: he's probably bringing his wife and children to help him. It's actually a very wholesome story where he reunites with his elder son, which had become a little estranged with time, because he didn't feel like this job was really worthy of his time. So at first he's reluctant to come along. But then the son realises, it's the little things in life that matter. The simple joy of a well done work. The detail you care about in realigning the arrows mechanisms, which tend to misalign with time. The feeling of contributing to something bigger than you, that will survive you. And he gets a newfound respect for his father.
(Oh and also, about the pleasures of small things, a job well-done, etc, there's obviously a touching scene that would go like that: "_Look son! A rare sight! An adventurer! A real, honest adventurer! _Woaw, dad, you were right! What we do really matters! _Yes son. You see, this adventurer traveled a long path to get killed by our booby traps. This kind of dedication deserves respect. Let's have a moment of silence. _... _Ok, moving on, those boulders aren't going to roll back up on their own you know.
They forgot the part where they should keep a modern army inside the ancient tomb that hasn't been opened for thousands of years so the adventurers can have some great fight scenes.
Nah you dont have to station an army yourself because the army is brought by the evil adventurer who got there first to fight against the attractive adventurers
"Generations of arrow reloaders"... Power of friendship... The necklace that has been in my family for generations... Ryan, your ability to expose the ridiculous nature of storytelling and human habits is legendary. I have so much respect... Let me write that again: generations of arrow reloaders...
"I don't know how to build generational loyalty to a task like that." Ryan, your comedic command of language continues to improve over time. And I know I don't say this often enough, but I'm proud of you.
Absolutely! I think I saw a guy that looked JUST like him in another one of these sketches, that was set in modern times... Ryan really has a gift for intertwining stories!
Yeah ,and did it would be good for us to see a history based type of all this ye know like what it was all like for real for some of those historical moments to start for I know more about what the was for then he i would think and in ways he did get things right but not all the time well anyway he is fun.
The toughest job is giving the machinery enough lubricant so that it still moves, but not too much or you'll lose the ominous stone-on-stone grinding sound.
I've always wondered what amazing technology ancient tomb builders had that would ensure continued elasticity for a thousand years to guarantee the arrows will fire with deadly velocity at just the right moment. Meanwhile, I can't let a rubber band sit in a drawer for more than a year without it becoming so brittle it crumbles into 29 pieces if I look at it sideways.
People use synthetic stuff now, back then they would have to use the rubber from the physical trees and trees went to be kept alive, so their parts do that, so that's why he gets to stay lasted for thousands of years I've decided Even though the tree would be long dead by then and it has no sunlight or water? Yes Well okay that sounds great.
Yeah but have you tried keeping them rubber bands in a underground tomb though the moisture and cool temperature down there you know. But then they would probably mold to shit instead😂
I'd like to imagine archaeologists thinking there are many traps set up to kill them. But in reality, the ancient temples lost its structural integrity thus any small movements could cause a cave in.
Temples NEVER lose structural integrity. Everything is forever brand new except that there's dust on it so we get an old feeling. And a fun fact: Saying "I have a bad feeling about this" actually activates all the traps. Adventurers never figure that out.
This guy single handedly swamped all the caricature-ish big budget adventure flicks ruthlessly with a subtle touch of exquisite humour. Hats off, Ryan! Love your comedy!
Some of these things could arguably be resolved: The skills required to gain the trinket are important to the society that built them. Those skills are built around a religion, any necessary actions that are not skill related are largely ritualistic, and symbolic. That religion carries on a tradition that maintains the working order of the mechanisms into the present day.
He wants them to learn the value of friendship because Friendship is so important. When you make friends with someone, you gain their trust. So you can use them as human-shield to protect yourself from the arrows and they wouldn't suspect a thing.
It took me a minute when I was watching Movie Pitches to realise that A) it wasn't twins named Ryan and George, and B ) the reason the movie pitches were so perfect was because he was asking all the questions that made me furious during said movies, only nicely.
"I don't know how to build generational loyalty to a task like that." Coming up with such a line is form of genius. It just is. I don't make the rules.
Imagine if there were innovators in the family business that wanted to upgrade the traps. Cartridge-loaded firearms would be more reliable, LASERS! would be harder to dodge. Then you have the realistic thing where the second generation of guardians actually sold off the artifacts millennia ago, so the family has just been murdering trespassers for no reason all along.
They just conned them into thinking its "tradition". you can get anyone to do any damn fool thing if they think it's "traditional". Hide candy filled eggs in bushes, accept crackers from some stranger, kill a tree, hang its corpse in your home, then cover it in shiny crap. and so on.
I mean, does he? When in history did rich people or big corporations ever care about people who were very skilled? This is not meant to be a politically charged comment, just that I can’t imagine that in ancient times people who were good at something could magically become as rich as the people who had the treasures, that was more of a family thing
@@letterborneVods Funny enough a craftsman once made something unique in his time and the Emperor had him killed because he was afraid it might ruin the market or something. I think it was a crystal that could change shape or something, now that skill is lost thanks to dumb leaders.
@@letterborneVods Bruh the same thing as today. A rich guys thinks you are great and he gives you money, because without you around he would be less rich. It has never changed
Of course they need traps! In 99% of the movies the relic is not even buried but presented on a pedestal, surrounded by dozens of candles that probably get lightened and renewed by the arrow reloader 🤣
"Because hopefully some ladies will hear about how cool our set-up is and they'll want to show us their, you know..Treasure chest." This is so original, it's hilarious 🤣🤣🤣 Keep up the good work Ryan!
There is a video from needlemouse Productions going over every time Batman got superpowers, and they have a sentence about a bunch of girls that want to turn Gotham City into gorillas
The secret to effective trap-making is to make things that only become traps as the wear-and-tear of time ages them. For example, you could set a spiked pitfall trap with a firm wooden flooring above it. In ages to come, when the floor gets weakened by time, or maybe termites, people will fall through and land on the spikes. But in the meantime, you have a perfectly ordinary room with a nice wooden floor.
"It's ancient times, but somehow we will learn the basic stuff in at least 2 thousands of years" It's still hilarious that, following Ryan's logic, this is what historically happend
I think my favorite part is when he wipes his eye when starting to talk about the moon riddle. It's those subtle touches that really exemplify his brilliance.
Oh yes man, I also love the part where, you know, he breathes at some point. So brilliant! XD PS: that's a friendly jab, not intended to hurt your feelings, just in case ^^
Generational Loyalty: There's a church in Philadelphia that had its bell delivered by a merchant ship hundreds of years ago. Apparently the church couldn't afford the toll at the time (or didn't want to extract payment from a church), so the merchant struck a deal with them, that the church would ring the bell every time this merchant's ship was in port. He would accept this publicity as payment for delivering the bell. To this day, whenever that merchant's family line visits the city, the church rings the bell in honor of that merchant ship.
So we need to hire a jeweler now? I don't think I ever stopped laughing after that line. This was hilarious. And has permanently changed how I will view treasure hunting!! 😂🤣😂🤣
Finally someone asks how the arrows get reloaded. Every time I'm exploring an ancient tomb or cave they have the arrow traps and there's always like a human skull somewhere near it like what did a guy reload the arrows but not remove the human head?
Honestly I always ruined Indiana as a kid because I was trying to work out how the pressure plates worked and how huge stone doors can just slowly raise when someone flips a switch. All possible without electricity but I was on the couch wondering who replaces the batteries since we didn't see any power lines in the nearby jungle.
wouldnt it be cool to see the adstronaut go through his own journey, like he gets his own story where you only see fragments of, and that eventually he ends up in random places, but still needs to do sponsors for a living. It would be really cool to see that
The arrow thing really got me when I first saw Indiana Jones. And the rolling boulder didn't seem like a sustainable long term solution to the problem, either. And also, leaving your solid gold idol sitting on a pedestal in the middle of a room seemed kinda questionable. Ryan - OMG - I just realised: You were responsible for all that stuff!
You’d think they’d want the traps to kill the person BEFORE they get the important thing rather then activating afterwards and potentially breaking/losing the very thing that needs to be protected by the traps in the first place
Even the first time I saw Temple of Doom, when the giant boulder came down I was like, "Why didn't he just take a step back and let it roll in front of him?"
I've been a long time fan of your Pitch Meeting skits, so finding out you have your own channel was TIGHT. Can't wait to start binging your channel skits. :D
An idea I've had for a long time. The first guy to use idioms. Cat out of the bag Elephant in the room Break a leg Once in a blue moon Kill two birds with one stone Piece of cake Feels like a Ryan sketch could do a lot with these kind of expressions
Once in a blue moon is fairly strait forward as a blue moon occurs once every 2-3 years. Break a leg comes from theater. There was a period of time when wishing good luck was soon followed by disaster. Yes it's the correlation and causation fallacy but ever sense theater performers started wishing each other bad luck instead of good luck their have been much fewer disasters. So it's better to just continue wishing bad luck then risk wishing good luck. Also That Scotish Play is cursed and you should never mention it's name in a theater or in general. (You will be escorted out of the theater if you say it.) Yes the play is cursed and multiple people have been injured and died performing it.
@@MrGhosta5 lol, I've never been to a theatre where you will ACTUALLY be made to leave if you say Macbeth. And the logic about it actually being cursed only holds up if people haven't died or been injured doing other plays
Iirc 'cat out of the bag' comes from medieval swindling merchants, where instead of selling a piglet in a bag they sold a cat, and the buyer thought it was a piglet.
These "The First Guy Who..." skits are hilarious. I genuinely LOL at all of them. Whenever I need a good laugh at the end of a sh1t day, I look to Ryan George.
The way Ryan sets up these skits and illuminates the ridiculousness of things most people accept whole cloth using level-headed reasoning is a work of genius comedically. I love everything he puts out and usually watch them with my daughters. Thanks for all the laughs via the sharp-wit humor. I hope he continues to make many more of these for years to come.
For anyone wondering: They're called booby traps because "booby", from the Spanish word "bobo", is a word for an idiot (or a type of bird), and is actually separate from "booby" referring to, you know... breasts
You forget the part where they finally reach the secret inner chamber that no previous explorers have managed to uncover, and yet somehow every torch and brazier in the place has fresh oil that instantly lights to illuminate the entire complex for hours.
I like how he got this costume that can easily become a costume of another person by changing the colour of the cloth or shifting the cloth from left to right or even simply losing the cloth for one of the characters and despite all that he still went with the moustache technique
I've been watching Ryan's videos for a looong time and I have to admit this is the best one. I laughed through every second of this. Within minutes he completely destroyed every Indiana Jones style movies/games logic. I'm a huge Indy fan and I loved it 🤣
Don't forget the most important part: make sure all of the riddles we're writing will rhyme in languages that won't be invented for thousands of years.
I don't think "invent" is the word you were looking for here.
@@yarpen26 invent: create or design (something that has not existed before); be the originator of. Languages are created (they don't occur naturally), they have not existed eternally, and they have originators. I see no issue.
@Bradley Golliver I hope that wasn't the effect. "Invent" was an unconventional word choice, one influenced unconsciously by my personal experience. It wasn't a totally unreasonable response to assume it was a mistake. But English is a beautiful language, and humans are capable of inventing new meaning and nuance in it (even by accident) in ways that enrich our collective experience.
@@GlaurungTheGreat literally languages do occur naturally, that’s why we speak them, English wasn’t invented, it came from old English, which came from Proto Germanic, which came from Proto Indo European
@@celtofcanaanesurix2245 They occur naturally in the sense that they don't require a governing body for development, but they don't grow on trees. New languages are invented by speakers of the old language. Modern English was invented by speakers of Middle English, which was invented by speakers of Norman French and Old English.
A professional archeologist once told me that the traps Indie dodges would be much more valuable to archeology than the trinket they're guarding, since they represent advanced ancient engineering that _still works._
The real treasure was the hardships along the way
Hmmm great point
Actually, that’s a really good point.
Great point
For sure. Any civilization with even basic metallurgy technology could make a golden idol, but how many could make pneumatic arrow launchers or spinning blades or pressure-plate activated spike walls?
"I don't know how to build generational loyalty to a task like that."
And that was the line that got me to laugh so hard I had my first asthma attack in five years. Well played.
Uhhh, that was a joke right?
@@Marvelfanatic3658 Nope. But don't my albuterol inhaler made it super easy, barely an inconvenience.
Sounds like it was worth it.
@@LordBloodraven sounds like it added nothing to your life or your documentary in 2059 about your murder and therefore shoulfnt be a part of your life and is skipped over in the documentary
@@LordBloodravenOh, really?
As a guy that comes from a family of arrow loaders I appreciate the accuracy of this documentary
That's a... good point.
Do you also feed the scorpions?
So I was wondering who pays your salary. Did they leave a family tree of accountants behind taking charge of the finances ? Or they just put in a permanent payment order on their bank accounts?
@@VCRider There are actually two treasures. One was sold in order to cover payroll. How do you think the ancient key necklaces got into someone else's hands?
3:20
XD
I now want a series about mundane jobs needed for things like this: the arrow reloader, the guy in charge of keeping all the torches light, the person that feeds and replaces all the dangerous animals, and so on
If Skyrim is any indication, it's going to take a large team of people to keep all the torches lit.
Yeah I was surprised when he didn't talk about caring for the scorpions
Bringing in the fresh scorpions and venomous snakes must be very exciting.
speaking of torches, don't all those torches in a confined space cause carbon monoxide poisoning? That should be a thing in games.
It needs a whole village to keep a thing buried.
Don't forget "Team Torchlighter".
You'd need generations of them too, so those " _centuries_ old unexplored catacombs" have PRE-LIT torches burning when the adventurers show up.
Safety first, so nobody trips or sets off a booby trap UNTIL they've got a torch in their hand..
Also, oil and torch replenishment. Oil degrades over time so you need a guy to come replenish the oil and swap out the torches that have become desiccated from being in the dry air (or soggy from being in a damp, old cave). Come to think of it, all those indigenous cultures that exist around the treasure must simply be there just for maintenance. "What doe we call this tribe?" "Janitors".
@@joshuagodinez5867you made me laugh way too hard at that XD
In DnD there is an extra spell for that. "Continual Flame" It lights a small lightsource with a cold flame that does not burn fuel and most importantly never extinguishes until snuffed out manually.
Or torches that are triggered by a motion detector, even though those were invented in the 1940's!
@@JormungandrEtrSigSjalfr Motion detecting torch lighters were invented in the 40's?!! How the hell did I miss that?
When you're a time traveler trying to set up an adventure for yourself, but suck at keeping it a secret.
I just assumed it's the Oracle in disguise.
Yo what’s good shady
It's quite difficult to keep that kind of thing a secret ok?
yes
Youre everywhere
It would be nice if you could get your arrow reloaders to feed the scorpions while they're down there. People often assume that the pits of snakes or scorpions will just sustain themselves for millennia, but that is a huge oversight I've decided.
Scorpion feeder guy would probably get jealous of the arrow reloader guy… wait, that could be the B plot!
Leave it to Clint to remark on the health of the snakes.
I'm gonna need you to get aaaall the way off my back about feeding the scorpions
@@aemi5929 Oh dude, I would watch a romcom about that. You should bring it up in a pitch meeting with your local studio execs.
@@i.b.640 As someone that had 4 Emperor Scorpions as a Teenager...no...no they do not live an absurdly long time without being fed. They die after a couple days of no food.
Man, as a trap integrity inspector, we never get the same exposure as the arrow reloaders! They really have a way more glamorous job than us.
Trap inspection is dangerous, thankless work. You have my respect... If you're still alive. If not, your family has my respect.
You're the one to cry! Most people don't even know us giant boulder path cleaners even exist and I don't even want to mention how much bat shit we have to clean every day.
Tell that to the people who have to replace the dead scorpions
I used to know a guy who was a giant stone ball reloader... he slipped while reloading 😣
Ryan wearing a moustache over his moustache is still one of my favorite running gags.
It is the most commanding mustache.
I dident see that all. I saw was a very real mustache
Ryan and Fake Mustache Guy are the same person??
I thought they where different people all along!
@@discouragedspirit1290 They are different people, some people just think everyone in the Ryanverse looks the same, very offensive
I didn't notice that until you said that.
"Building generational loyalty to a task like that." This is probably my favorite one to date. The explanation highlights the absurdity of the background. Nicely done.
if i had that skill id be emperor of earth
On the other hand, if we could do it, we'd solve the problem of safe long-term nuclear disposal!
You usually get this loyalty with religion tough. Just make it a tennet in your fath to check on the traps once in a while.
That was the standout line for sure
Agreed, greatest line to date. Was going to make my own post about it but I'll back you up instead.
I started laughing at "ancient times" vs "modern times", and the jokes kept coming! Bravo, sir!
NPC comment
@@marshmellowguy586
Autological comment
Love how he cares about them learning the value of friendship but doesn’t mind setting up a thing where it shoots arrows at them.
A true friend stabs you in the front
That's precisely why friendship is so important. When you make friends with someone, you gain their trust. So you can use them as a meat shield and they wouldn't suspect a thing.
They learn to appreciate friendship AND the value of life itself.
@@peterg76yt this is getting suspiciously close to SAW without the kidnapping
@@DeathnoteBB I LAUGHED SO HARD AT YOUR COMMENT XD
There's a good short story in there somewhere about the life of a guy who reloads the arrows in ancient tombs, pushes the big boulder back up the track, closes all the secret doors back up and mails the secret key-amulets out to Goodwill so they can be lost to history again.
You forgot how he has to feed (or even replace) the snakes and scorpions cause, you know, these things aren't immortal.
I'd totally read that story. Year 5: "So it's that time of year again, I make the journey to this forgotten temple in the middle of the jungle, with my arms full of arrows, oil canisters, snakes and scorpions. I still have the paper with what I am dubbing the 'maintenance code' so I can get behind the scenes of these traps and not make myself unalive while I'm doing my job."
@@drollfurball2863 I mean, it's for many generations, so it's a family story: he's probably bringing his wife and children to help him. It's actually a very wholesome story where he reunites with his elder son, which had become a little estranged with time, because he didn't feel like this job was really worthy of his time. So at first he's reluctant to come along.
But then the son realises, it's the little things in life that matter. The simple joy of a well done work. The detail you care about in realigning the arrows mechanisms, which tend to misalign with time. The feeling of contributing to something bigger than you, that will survive you. And he gets a newfound respect for his father.
(Oh and also, about the pleasures of small things, a job well-done, etc, there's obviously a touching scene that would go like that:
"_Look son! A rare sight! An adventurer! A real, honest adventurer!
_Woaw, dad, you were right! What we do really matters!
_Yes son. You see, this adventurer traveled a long path to get killed by our booby traps. This kind of dedication deserves respect. Let's have a moment of silence.
_...
_Ok, moving on, those boulders aren't going to roll back up on their own you know.
Didn't Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett at least touch briefly on this?
They forgot the part where they should keep a modern army inside the ancient tomb that hasn't been opened for thousands of years so the adventurers can have some great fight scenes.
And medic supplies and shotgun ammo
Im surprised the guy went with the crazy future guy.
Nah you dont have to station an army yourself because the army is brought by the evil adventurer who got there first to fight against the attractive adventurers
Modern army? More like an undead army or golems or monsters or something
And someone has to light all those wall torches.
"Generations of arrow reloaders"... Power of friendship... The necklace that has been in my family for generations... Ryan, your ability to expose the ridiculous nature of storytelling and human habits is legendary. I have so much respect... Let me write that again: generations of arrow reloaders...
Scorpions!
“They can reload arrows?!”
XD
2:34
@@Ramsey276one Underrated comment XD
and again: generations of arrow reloaders...
I mean, it's pretty much the Indiana Jones series in nut shell except there's no Harrison Ford so not as cool.
"I don't know how to build generational loyalty to a task like that."
Ryan, your comedic command of language continues to improve over time. And I know I don't say this often enough, but I'm proud of you.
We need to get Ryan to remove the sponsor for this video! Betterhelp is a MASSIVE scam that steals peoples money!
this was amazing
we all are
Oddly enough I do. It's called religion.
@@meoff7602 build one then.
This guy is absolutely a time-traveling treasure hunter setting up his own adventures.
Absolutely! I think I saw a guy that looked JUST like him in another one of these sketches, that was set in modern times... Ryan really has a gift for intertwining stories!
I always love to imagine how modern concepts began, but this historical setting mixing things up beautifully. Great work as always!
I believe you meant "histerical setting"
@@iHandleEasily lol
I mean… did this concept ever really “begin”, outside of fiction?
I don't know if it started here, but the "Curse of the Pharaohs" has been around for a long time.
Yeah ,and did it would be good for us to see a history based type of all this ye know like what it was all like for real for some of those historical moments to start for I know more about what the was for then he i would think and in ways he did get things right but not all the time well anyway he is fun.
"Maybe the real treasure was with them all along!"
"no THIS is the real treasure!" Oh how I love this series...
The toughest job is giving the machinery enough lubricant so that it still moves, but not too much or you'll lose the ominous stone-on-stone grinding sound.
Don't listen to the first guy, he doesn't have a glorious mustache.
@Mason How yeah yeah yeah
Oh assuming commanding positions based on the size of your mustache is TIGHT!!
@@PensandoRPG yeah
@@fahkrudin98 Phrasing
Considering the adventurer has the same mustache probably means he's from the same family.
Ryan’s characters’ perception of time is reaching a whole new level.
No real comment, I'm just proud of you for actually using the apostrophes correctly.
No real comment, I'm just proud of you for using the full-stop correctly.
No real comment, I'm just proud of you for using capital letters correctly.
No real comment, I'm just proud of you for using the proper verb tenses correctly.
No real reply, I’m just proud of you all for starting a beautifully irrelevant trend.
I've always wondered what amazing technology ancient tomb builders had that would ensure continued elasticity for a thousand years to guarantee the arrows will fire with deadly velocity at just the right moment. Meanwhile, I can't let a rubber band sit in a drawer for more than a year without it becoming so brittle it crumbles into 29 pieces if I look at it sideways.
People use synthetic stuff now, back then they would have to use the rubber from the physical trees and trees went to be kept alive, so their parts do that, so that's why he gets to stay lasted for thousands of years I've decided
Even though the tree would be long dead by then and it has no sunlight or water?
Yes
Well okay that sounds great.
Yeah but have you tried keeping them rubber bands in a underground tomb though the moisture and cool temperature down there you know. But then they would probably mold to shit instead😂
Have you tried hiring rubber band replacers?
Planned obsolescence is a recent invention!
I'd like to imagine archaeologists thinking there are many traps set up to kill them. But in reality, the ancient temples lost its structural integrity thus any small movements could cause a cave in.
The real trap was the ego we built along the way.
that is the real trap
@e no one cares + asked
Temples NEVER lose structural integrity. Everything is forever brand new except that there's dust on it so we get an old feeling. And a fun fact: Saying "I have a bad feeling about this" actually activates all the traps. Adventurers never figure that out.
That's the REAL trap all along.
This just makes me realize that Ryan should be the next Indiana Jones.
"Why are there snakes, they decided?"
Because snakes are terrifying
That works, I'm terrified
Wow wow wow
Wow
"Why are snakes being shot at me?"
"That's me. It is my job. Sorry!"
I need you to get ALL the way off my back about this
yes
Finding the Ark of the Covenant is super easy, barely an inconvenience.
This guy single handedly swamped all the caricature-ish big budget adventure flicks ruthlessly with a subtle touch of exquisite humour. Hats off, Ryan! Love your comedy!
Some of these things could arguably be resolved:
The skills required to gain the trinket are important to the society that built them.
Those skills are built around a religion, any necessary actions that are not skill related are largely ritualistic, and symbolic.
That religion carries on a tradition that maintains the working order of the mechanisms into the present day.
Once upon a time tha genre was called "Pulp Adventure" and it was understood to be over the top for fun for a reason....
He wants them to learn the value of friendship because Friendship is so important. When you make friends with someone, you gain their trust. So you can use them as human-shield to protect yourself from the arrows and they wouldn't suspect a thing.
obviously
I just use family, saves on friendship cultivation time. I lost 2 brothers that way, but come see my cool urns.
sounds like something i would do
@@elirichards6044 sjsjsjsjsjsj
*so you can use them to refill the arrow traps.
Ryan explaining how dumb something is makes me realize how dumb something is.
It's super easy, barely an inconvenience.
It took me a minute when I was watching Movie Pitches to realise that
A) it wasn't twins named Ryan and George, and
B ) the reason the movie pitches were so perfect was because he was asking all the questions that made me furious during said movies, only nicely.
things are dumb when they're stupid.
That made me laugh. Good comment.
"I don't know how to build generational loyalty to a task like that." Coming up with such a line is form of genius. It just is. I don't make the rules.
I love how people in the Ryanverse are so helpful as to always explain when they are in modern times
He can't help but be so polite, being Canadian
It's always modern when you're in it!
The most unrealistic part of all this is the guy at the end remaining loyal to the family business.
Just rebranding his centuries old family business, like booby traps became titty traps..!
Japan has centuries-old businesses with very loyal family members
If my family business was taking care of these titty traps, I wouldn't go anywhere.
What if some ladies hear about it ?
Imagine if there were innovators in the family business that wanted to upgrade the traps. Cartridge-loaded firearms would be more reliable, LASERS! would be harder to dodge. Then you have the realistic thing where the second generation of guardians actually sold off the artifacts millennia ago, so the family has just been murdering trespassers for no reason all along.
They just conned them into thinking its "tradition". you can get anyone to do any damn fool thing if they think it's "traditional". Hide candy filled eggs in bushes, accept crackers from some stranger, kill a tree, hang its corpse in your home, then cover it in shiny crap. and so on.
The trick would be to prevent the arrow reloaders from realizing that, if they need to reload, the treasure is unguarded and they can just take it 😂
"We just make sure there's fresh arrows in aaaaall the titty traps."
"In the WHAT!?"
I'm freaking DEAD!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me too ! XD
That was frikkin' genius 😂😂
Killed me too lol. He's the best
Hearing that Ryan say that is scarier than 1000 scorpions!
Timestamp?
" If I had the technological skills to build that I wouldn't be burying treasure for a living" 🤔 he has a point 🤣
I mean, does he? When in history did rich people or big corporations ever care about people who were very skilled? This is not meant to be a politically charged comment, just that I can’t imagine that in ancient times people who were good at something could magically become as rich as the people who had the treasures, that was more of a family thing
@@letterborneVods before the Industrial Age, the rich cared about skilled workers because they’re hard to come by. Read a textbook
@@ninjaked1265 oh, so in the context of my comment they would then make the workers rich too?
@@letterborneVods
Funny enough a craftsman once made something unique in his time and the Emperor had him killed because he was afraid it might ruin the market or something.
I think it was a crystal that could change shape or something, now that skill is lost thanks to dumb leaders.
@@letterborneVods
Bruh the same thing as today. A rich guys thinks you are great and he gives you money, because without you around he would be less rich. It has never changed
Of course they need traps! In 99% of the movies the relic is not even buried but presented on a pedestal, surrounded by dozens of candles that probably get lightened and renewed by the arrow reloader 🤣
I love the "WHY?!!" at 1:24, it has the perfect balance of genuine confusion and suppressed anger.
It gives frustrated in a group project in college vibes.
1:25
"I don't know how to build generational loyalty for a task like that."
This is probably one of my favorites now
Ryan is the only TH-camr whose videos I watch over and over again and still find them funny after the 25th time
It's always wild how in every ancient tomb in these archaeology movies the scorpions and snakes and whatnot stay alive for so long.
It's probably lots of generations of them. Like the Arrow Loaders...
@@nictheartist but how is their loyalty to the task sustained?
They make fun of that in The Lost City
"Because hopefully some ladies will hear about how cool our set-up is and they'll want to show us their, you know..Treasure chest." This is so original, it's hilarious 🤣🤣🤣
Keep up the good work Ryan!
"Treasure chest." This is so original" Oh you sweet summer child.
"Fresh arrows in all the tity traps" has to be his best line ever🤣🤣🤣🤣
There is a video from needlemouse Productions going over every time Batman got superpowers, and they have a sentence about a bunch of girls that want to turn Gotham City into gorillas
I just had a flashback to the Fembots in Austin Powers, lol
And the reloader who is stuck with the silliest job from ancient times.
Always a treat when Ryan posts something for the Ryan George cinematic universe
Someone give this dude like $10 million, he’d make an amazing absurdist comedy.
A new History of the World movie.
I wish I had such money in the first place!
No because then he'll leave youtube and we won't get this great micro content for free!!
*these dudes
@@toothbrushfromnisemonogatari no, the joke is that there are two Ryans.
The secret to effective trap-making is to make things that only become traps as the wear-and-tear of time ages them. For example, you could set a spiked pitfall trap with a firm wooden flooring above it. In ages to come, when the floor gets weakened by time, or maybe termites, people will fall through and land on the spikes. But in the meantime, you have a perfectly ordinary room with a nice wooden floor.
So that’s where Ryan got his sense of humor: it stretches back to centuries in the vague past kingdom of ancient Ryan Georges.
If you spelled it Ry An Geor Ges or something it could work
@@letterborneVodswhat? Are you high? What do you mean?
Fun fact: They're called Booby traps because 16th century sailors used to setup traps for seabirds of the genus Sula, commonly known as Boobies. 😄
Is that why they're called that, given that Boob used to be a byword for idiot/screwup, I assumed that the term came from that
Hahaha how did I miss this😂 Finding a never-before-seen episode is like finding a treasure chest with no booby traps!
"It's ancient times, but somehow we will learn the basic stuff in at least 2 thousands of years"
It's still hilarious that, following Ryan's logic, this is what historically happend
Ryan George has been the real treasure all along. ❤
+
Didn't you see the video?THAT is the real treasure!
This has to be one of Ryan's best ones, I decided. I literally laughed out loud and the ending nearly had me on the floor!
Lmao I read this in Ryan's voice
@@ZK-ib2wp Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah...Yeah!
YOU give us better mental health Ryan. Highlight of the day whenever you post, so thank you for what you are doing!
Certainly helped me during the pandemic.
This might be Ryan's best sketch yet. It's been out for 3 minutes and I've already watched it 67 times.
My favorite is the Assassin one. That will never not be funny.
Your perception of time sounds messed up a bit.
@@SIS3W3N Yeah, watching this video 67 times nonstop would take about five and a half hours.
@@coolnerdlll6053 lol he played it on 2x speed and skipped random parts
That's because how dumb something is!
I feel like the one coming up with all the crazy ideas is an architect while the one questioning everything is the engineer
0:53
"I have no idea why we would do something like that"
-so the movie can happen
References from pitch meetings are tight!
"That works"
I think my favorite part is when he wipes his eye when starting to talk about the moon riddle. It's those subtle touches that really exemplify his brilliance.
Was that a reference to something?
@@MaiAolei Not that I'm aware of. I just think it's a little knock at tired tropes.
Oh yes man, I also love the part where, you know, he breathes at some point. So brilliant! XD
PS: that's a friendly jab, not intended to hurt your feelings, just in case ^^
@@BobbySacamano Understood. Thank you for the clarification!
Generational Loyalty: There's a church in Philadelphia that had its bell delivered by a merchant ship hundreds of years ago. Apparently the church couldn't afford the toll at the time (or didn't want to extract payment from a church), so the merchant struck a deal with them, that the church would ring the bell every time this merchant's ship was in port. He would accept this publicity as payment for delivering the bell.
To this day, whenever that merchant's family line visits the city, the church rings the bell in honor of that merchant ship.
Props to Ryan for giving Archaeologist Guy and Kid Guy more characterization than Kitana
So we need to hire a jeweler now? I don't think I ever stopped laughing after that line. This was hilarious. And has permanently changed how I will view treasure hunting!!
😂🤣😂🤣
One of the best ones yet. OMG! I“ve always thought this... the engineering and construction effort for setting up all these treasure dens 😂👍
Finally someone asks how the arrows get reloaded. Every time I'm exploring an ancient tomb or cave they have the arrow traps and there's always like a human skull somewhere near it like what did a guy reload the arrows but not remove the human head?
arrows are weird, but would you want to touch a dead body? I don't think its unrealistic that they'd prefer to just leave it there
What if the human skull is part of original setup?
Of course. They're arrow reloaders and not head removers. Duh!
Because then you'd need skull reloaders.
It's a union thing.
it's is mind blowing how Ryan thinks of these things. never wondered how ancient people knew how to get things to open with a moon. 😂
They didn't. Hollywood did.
Honestly I always ruined Indiana as a kid because I was trying to work out how the pressure plates worked and how huge stone doors can just slowly raise when someone flips a switch. All possible without electricity but I was on the couch wondering who replaces the batteries since we didn't see any power lines in the nearby jungle.
@@CityState_of_Valletta the open door with lever could be done with counter weights. No electricity required.
@@CityState_of_Valletta Every castle with a portcullis in history: *vanishes*
@@CityState_of_Valletta As Ryan said, did they all have engineering degrees? :D
That 3 minutes is better than every movie in that genre combined. So well done.
"Maybe the real treasure was inside them all along!"
I love the addition of every cheesy adventure trope.
I had no idea how I took this kind of thing for granted in stories when at the time it would have been absurd.
That better help ad is a scary relic in itself
Okay... this was just freaking brilliant. Haven't laughed that hard in a while. Thanks Ryan.
Please do a video on the first person to talk! It would leave me SPEECHLESS!
This one is probably my favourite video of Ryan´s.. The way Shortround says "And we learned the value of friendship along the way" is gold :D
I love how Ryan completely destroys movie logic, either in Pitch Meetings or here XD
to be honest I was shocked how nonsense the big movie scripts are.
Like: ALMOST ALL OF THEM ARE PURE BS! - wtf?
movies make us all dumber
wouldnt it be cool to see the adstronaut go through his own journey, like he gets his own story where you only see fragments of, and that eventually he ends up in random places, but still needs to do sponsors for a living. It would be really cool to see that
Yes indeed!
Adstronaut is Major Tom from one of earlier Ryan's videos
Possibly the best Ryan George video ever. Somehow it's got all the possible variations and nuances of the quintessiential Ryan.
This is perfect, I never really put too much thought into the logic of making the key an easily breakable crystal on a necklace.
That miraculously doesn’t get misplaced, like many things tend to.
@@BlackCover95 and that suddenly shines or falls with a loud clink when thinking about how to open the vault
"We should add scorpions!"
"Why?"
"Because if they just had to solve a riddle, it would be too easy! Barely an inconvenience!"
Oh really?
Finally, an explanation for how all those archaeologist/grave robber adventures came to be! :-)
Basically Dungeons & Dragons.
It's pretty weird how these guys have ancient robes and stuff but the first guy to ever build a house has eyeglasses
I don't see anything stopping people from making clothes outside, or in caves
"Wait a minute"
"Whats a minute? Your words are weird"
"Actually the Babylonians made minutes, they decided"
"Stop trying to confuse me with learning"
I like how he points out various legitimate concerns and reasons to not do it and ends up convincing himself to still do it 😂😂😂
Love the videos Ryan, keep it up! ❤
Hello verified person!
The arrow thing really got me when I first saw Indiana Jones.
And the rolling boulder didn't seem like a sustainable long term solution to the problem, either.
And also, leaving your solid gold idol sitting on a pedestal in the middle of a room seemed kinda questionable.
Ryan - OMG - I just realised: You were responsible for all that stuff!
You’d think they’d want the traps to kill the person BEFORE they get the important thing rather then activating afterwards and potentially breaking/losing the very thing that needs to be protected by the traps in the first place
Who said that the idol was gold? 😏
Honestly the light detection trap got me, like how can he not believe in magic after seeing that?
Even the first time I saw Temple of Doom, when the giant boulder came down I was like, "Why didn't he just take a step back and let it roll in front of him?"
Building those traps was super easy. Barely an inconvenience.
I've been a long time fan of your Pitch Meeting skits, so finding out you have your own channel was TIGHT. Can't wait to start binging your channel skits. :D
I've lived through 4 decades of adventure movies and not once have I thought about the reliability of booby traps
Ah, the grand ole' days of reliable booby traps - before planned obsolescence.
An idea I've had for a long time.
The first guy to use idioms.
Cat out of the bag
Elephant in the room
Break a leg
Once in a blue moon
Kill two birds with one stone
Piece of cake
Feels like a Ryan sketch could do a lot with
these kind of expressions
Once in a blue moon is fairly strait forward as a blue moon occurs once every 2-3 years. Break a leg comes from theater. There was a period of time when wishing good luck was soon followed by disaster. Yes it's the correlation and causation fallacy but ever sense theater performers started wishing each other bad luck instead of good luck their have been much fewer disasters. So it's better to just continue wishing bad luck then risk wishing good luck. Also That Scotish Play is cursed and you should never mention it's name in a theater or in general. (You will be escorted out of the theater if you say it.) Yes the play is cursed and multiple people have been injured and died performing it.
I would love to see him make videos about these idioms "origins".
@@MrGhosta5 lol, I've never been to a theatre where you will ACTUALLY be made to leave if you say Macbeth. And the logic about it actually being cursed only holds up if people haven't died or been injured doing other plays
Iirc 'cat out of the bag' comes from medieval swindling merchants, where instead of selling a piglet in a bag they sold a cat, and the buyer thought it was a piglet.
These "The First Guy Who..." skits are hilarious. I genuinely LOL at all of them. Whenever I need a good laugh at the end of a sh1t day, I look to Ryan George.
Love how the people in these videos always specify what time it is. Specifying the date is TIGHT
You've somehow outdone yourself, Ryan. As always. This was all just genious!
This one had me cracking up from start to finish, great job. Thank you so much
The way Ryan sets up these skits and illuminates the ridiculousness of things most people accept whole cloth using level-headed reasoning is a work of genius comedically. I love everything he puts out and usually watch them with my daughters. Thanks for all the laughs via the sharp-wit humor. I hope he continues to make many more of these for years to come.
Ever heard of "Pitch Meetings"? You'll know life if you watch those, featuring this very gentleman.
@@rohanmanchanda5250 oh yeah… I love pitch meetings…. They are tight!
@@CharlesHepburn2 ye ye ye
For anyone wondering: They're called booby traps because "booby", from the Spanish word "bobo", is a word for an idiot (or a type of bird), and is actually separate from "booby" referring to, you know... breasts
A "booby" is also a bird. Some of them have cool blue feet.
I personally thought the concept of titty-trap was way funnier
This sounds perfect for 'giving animals names' sketch.
Kudos for research, but sorry, I still think it's the universe making an in-joke about the Lara Craft franchise.
Also used in other terms, such as booby-prize, that we no longer really use, and why the TV has the nickname boob-tube.
You forget the part where they finally reach the secret inner chamber that no previous explorers have managed to uncover, and yet somehow every torch and brazier in the place has fresh oil that instantly lights to illuminate the entire complex for hours.
The laughter made my treasure chest shake!
Alternate title: “The Guys Who Made Tomb Raider and/or Uncharted Possible”
I like how he got this costume that can easily become a costume of another person by changing the colour of the cloth or shifting the cloth from left to right or even simply losing the cloth for one of the characters
and despite all that he still went with the moustache technique
This is just glorious. Loved every ridiculous minute of it.
I've been watching Ryan's videos for a looong time and I have to admit this is the best one. I laughed through every second of this. Within minutes he completely destroyed every Indiana Jones style movies/games logic. I'm a huge Indy fan and I loved it 🤣
This is, hands down, the funniest sketch he's ever done.
This had me in tears, especially the bit about generational maintenance 😂
The end of this one made me actually laugh out loud, a true and authentic "LOL"... nicely done, sir.
"idk how to make generational loyalty" well it seams to managed it
3:23 I nearly choked to death on laughter. Would that have made you happy??