What if I'm attracted to someone besides my partner? ROCD
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 เม.ย. 2021
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The "thought" what if Im attracted to someone else is one of my biggest struggles in my Rocd. I get stuck on spesific people as well, like my boyfriends friend or brother or one of my classmates. Whatever suites my ocd best. This gives me a lot of anxiety and the fear of "what if" is enough to make me feel super guilty and terrible. Looking back I dont really know if I have ever found someone else super attractive, Im just so scared of it. Would acceptance in this case be" okay, so that person might or might not be attractive" and then just sit with that? Thankyou ❤️
Yes!
I have this too, but I have images in my mind too. It’s terrible and feels so real
@@creaky7777 literally same, with my best friend. now i’m also quarantined for 10 days and stuck in bed with high fever and fatigue and the thoughts are really really taking over, ive been looking online for 7 hours today, i really can’t stop and if i don’t look for answer online i try to review my relationship with my boyfriend and my best friend and see if i missed any sign or shit like that.. it’s just so so exhausting
Any one knows hindi language
@@umarana5920
mhuje thoda Athi hu, lekin kqiu hindi here? Upper topic samaj karne leye ?
I got rocd cause of my past experience in past when i was teen I use to have so many puppy crushes and fall out of attraction after few months and that never bothered me but when I really fell in love it was all good for years until I have that one fearful thought what if i loose feeling for my partner and it turned into rocd although I know very well that I want him and I truly love him and he want me to get treatment but now my ocd thought say ' if I don't have ocd anymore I will get attracted to someone else ' this trigger my anxiety so terrible and it making me unsure should I get treatment or not ?
i've been dealing with ocd since my early childhood and i just recently discovered this "part" of ocd.keep in mind that i didn't even realize that my thoughts and behavior is exactly what you do when you have ocd. i had many many intrusive thoughts about my relationship that were more based on "relationship" than my partner and literally yesterday i overreacted on intrusive thought about being attracted to his brother that is 10 years older than me and now i have these vivid intrusive thoughts whenever i think about my boyfriend and its killing me because i know for many reasons why that's not true and i just want this to stop.
this may be the worst thing i have ever dealt with,no joke.
What it is, I’ve been there! But lifetime, recovery is possible!
@@MyOCDCoach that's an amazing thing to think about,not because it gives us reassurance or some kind of comfort but because we have many proofs that it's possible and whenever i feel like i will never get over this or that i will feel like this forever i try to remember reality and everything in it. something that also helps is that thoughts are just thoughts and not reality (:
@@heliiyus
You still have this thoughs?
Can anyone please clear my doubt? I genuinely and whole heartedly love my partner, literally my partner is the best person I have ever seen in my entire life💜, but for past four months I have been suffering with anxiety, sometimes I overthink about a person, I heard that people with ROCD will have such horrible intrusive thought about different person but I often have a terrible thoughts only about a single person and I really don't like it which is causing me a terrible anxiety and making me feel that I am a bad person. These thoughts also causing me some compulsion and my mind always says that "if you are not closing your pen every time after you complete a sentence then your gonna cheat with that guy"
This is the most horrible thing I ever dealed with😣
Is this a symptom of ROCD?
Thank u🙏💙
You’re welcome 😊
Hey! I've been loving your advice so much! However, one thing I noticed I have that just I never thought about until recently is that I get very self conscious when looking right, especially sadly attractive guys. Like yes I care how others see me, but it's almost like I have to WATCH OUT for attractive guys to make sure no one is near me or I don't get tempted or something, my mind makes me think I'll cheat or interact with them despite me not caring too. It's almost like I need to get away from attractive guys or else I'll cheat or do something worse. And I know unconsciously I've gotten dressed up nice and such and didn't want conversations with guys but my brain is just giving me memories when I've had nice conversations with other guys who just like the same things as me. It's almost like I can't interact with men at all or else I'll feel immense guilt, and it's only worse around attractive ones. I can't tell if this is ROCD or not since no one has ever spoken about it when going out and being around attractive men. It's like I feel uncomfortable around them I cannot keep my eyes off them because I'm too scared of being around them or something. However when I'm around family or such I can just somehow ignore the thought and it leaves easily. What is this? Why can't I just feel okay with talking to someone attractive? I can't do it I'd feel like cheating even though I've never had any interest before
Anxiety isn’t always rational.
@@MyOCDCoach so it's not ROCD? :(( it's just me?
It's ocd sis
OCd is dangerous..... U won't even understand that it's OCd... OCd it's our brain nd makes us feel that it's us who is bringing these thoughts.... As days passed our mind forgets our true self nd starts to act according to ocd
Hey, I know I commented on this before but I think I just had an experience like this! I found someone at the store attractive and just instantly got scared, I tried to stay away but anytime I thought of them I just began to ruminate especially when I'm with my partner. But once I actually spoke to them I came down to earth and it just felt like talking to a random person and such. Is this how ocd works?
Yes
Lately, I've been getting the urge to leave since i find others more attractive. Like I would prefer to be with someone else.
The "urge to leave" is the compulsion of AVOIDANCE. It will only reinforce the fear and cause more doubts, anxiety and intrusive thoughts. In order to recover from OCD, you have to stop all compulsions.
@@MyOCDCoach thank you Daneille.
Hello, I have a fearful avoidant attachment style and rocd. I’m struggling so bad in my 5 year relationship, now we are engaged. I noticed I feel better when I increase my self worth, and am able to get close to my partner and see a future with him. But for some reason, when I’m feeling better, my self worth only last for a week at a time. Should keep working on my self worth and try ERP? I know it’s going to be hard work. Thanks!!
ERP is so important when it comes to dealing with fear, discomfort, which is the basis for an insecure attachment, style and OCD. I’ve been there, but I just got engaged yesterday, and I couldn’t be happier, so just know that recovery as possible when you learn how not to let fear take over. ❤️
What about being in a real with someone who has this but towards you? Like you can only find them attractive because they feel like it’s wrong to be attracted to others. Or that it’s not okay to look at other people.
ERP is necessary, regardless.
Hello I have been having intruisve thoughts about finding others attractive and I never used to think or worry about this brfore these thoughts, since I have been told by a therapist they are fake does that then mean its not reality
is it possible for the thought to be true, because ir was never an issue before but since the thought it has made me question wether i do or not
I don’t want to give you reassurance here, as it only feeds OCD and will create more intrusive thoughts. Yea m assuming this therapist is not an OCD specialist?? They are playing into your compulsion here.
I haven’t been good. I have a doctors appointment Friday morning but.. I’ve been obsessing for months that I have a crush on a coworker I barley know. I don’t even want to be with him. I am scared.. 😭
I love my partner dearly and whenever I have sex with my partner that coworkers name pops in my head ruining my time with my partner. I’ve been calling out of work and leaving early bc I just don’t wanna be there bc I am that scared. I know you can be attracted to anyone but I hate this it wasn’t bad in the beginning and was able to ignore but it’s gotten worse too since I feel my symptoms have gone down..
I started obsessing about my partners flaws more and my partner does know about this bc I have been becoming a lot more open about my ocd. I am scared I don’t have ROCD or any form of ocd at all and that I found my truth. I am hoping to be able to find help this Friday I am praying my mind can be fixed 😢💔
This is my specialty! Feel free to check out my website for recovery options should you need assistance. Recovery as possible! www.myoccoach.com.
Oh sis I am having the exact same situation. Ugh
What if the obsession is about whether or not our partner is going to leave us? I’m 3 weeks in in this new relationship and I’m honestly not even sure that I had a honeymoon phase (at least not for long) because of how severe my ROCD is. I keep thinking that he can feel my anxiety and that it’s sabotaging our relationship. It’s hard for me to tell the difference between that and being codependent… It’s terrifying to open up when you expect that they’ll leave no matter what…
i dealt with the same a few months ago, what was helpful was learning out your attachment style and how that can affect you in your relationship. mine was anxious attachment style and it made a lot of sense, i had a low self esteem, i struggled with the idea if he loved me, and etc. it might be hard at the beginning but after some inner work with the rocd and if you have anxious attachment style then you should feel more confident with opening up to being loved, you deserve it!! 💓(there’s 4, you should see if you resonate with either of those more!) awaken into love has a great page on yt for rocd and rocd_hopehealfeel on insta too!
An ROCD obsession can be about virtually anything (you might be afraid of). The rumination might find other reasons/roots, but the truth is, it's OCD.
Attachment styles are often confused with ROCD, as the anxiety and symptoms feel the same. We can all go into our past and "find" reasons why we might suffer with anxiety around relationships (our past and parents weren't perfect), but the like with me and many of my clients, this just leads you down a rabbit hole of learning and trying to heal that is only minorly effective (if you have ROCD). ERP, exposure and response prevention, is a must to recover from OCD! I've been down this road myself, so I caution people in this area UNLESS you're actively practicing ERP for your intrusive thoughts.
@@MyOCDCoach thank you for clarifying!!
@@MyOCDCoach thanks so much for breaking this down for me! My partner broke up with me two weeks ago but we’re back together now and the obsessions and anxiety switched to me doubting my feelings for him, because now he’s acting more lovingly and sure of his feelings for me. Deep down I know it’s ocd…! I’ll try to look more into ERP!
Hey, I just want to share that I am so tired of fighting my thoughts. I was just randomly scrolling and heard the word “sexually attracted” and now im obsessing whether or not i am sexually attracted to someone else aside from my gf. I know that I dont want to have sex with other people and have never fantasized about other people. However, I struggle with these thoughts and it doesnt go away. I dont know if this is my rocd or not.
It’s very important that you get proper help with this, otherwise your brain will continue to compulsions her negative habits that make OCD worse. Make sure you get ERP treatment, and as always if you want my help you can visit www.myocdcoach.com. I have private and cost-effective membership programs as well.
@@MyOCDCoach is this my ocd or am i just a bad partner? i have been recently diagnosed with it.
It's OCd bro.... Do Meditation nd whenever that thought comes ignore
Hi I just wanted some advice on ROCD, I experienced intrusive thoughts 3 months ago and then experienced what I think is ROCD for the past month but im not sure , I experienced thoughts about wether I loved my fiancée or not but now im worrying if I finds people attractive and I don’t know if its intrusive or not but Im worried
Yes, these sound like intrusive thoughts. Getting proper ERP treatment is going to be very important, but until then you can practice not giving intrusive thoughts your attention, which is a form of ERP.
@@MyOCDCoach thank you and does rocd affect perception?
@@declanfrance8163 of course!
@@MyOCDCoach is this to do with my anxiety and panic disorder or would I potentially be diagnosed with OCD?
@@declanfrance8163 if you’re doing compulsions, it’s likely past the anxiety stage into OCD, but I’d have to talk to you more to determine this for sure.
I have a girlfriend and i keep overthinking that I dont like her anymore but I know I do and im attracted to someone else aswell and I keep having these weird feelings in my chest pls help what should I do this is too much for me to handle
Meditation
I have been with my lovely partner for over a year. I do love her and honestly shes done nothing wrong. We have trust, respect, affection and shes kind and all my friends and family like her to. However after the honey moon phase, i have been finding a lot of anxiety and sometimes get break up urges. I suddenly realised myself noticing things in others what others have and i see how beautiful girls are. This is my first relationship too, i missed out on these experiences when i was younger, i am nearly 40 now, i think "Should i have been with more girls before I met her" or " Will i mess things up with my partner?" I realise it can be normal finding other girls attractive and i know i wont cheat but it makes me anxious and i dont want to break up and we are trying to work on our goals together. Can i assume comparing partner to others, cheating fears etc are part of ROCD? Also can sexual problems (mens issues in particular) be a feature of ROCD? I think all relationships are stressful and for a 1st partner i could not have had better, but its tough having doubts. I am neurodiverse which also i assume would be a factor?
Yes, this could all have to do with OCD and could get better with proper treatment. Check out my site for excellent recovery programs, www.myocdcoach.com.
@myocdcoach I am actually getting support from a relationship counseller. Expectations of relationships, understanding that I would probably be anxious with anyone due to how relationships work in general and me not having experience are all telling points. Knowing about ROCD and putting a label to it really helps and thanks for the good content. I will check out your link anyway
I have a question mam I love my partner too much from past 3 years I do lot for him really I love him too I can't leave him but I also suffering from 1 year more ocd, sexual ocd fear, anxiety all this but also repeatedly if I think for someone else generally I feel like I m attracted to others one time one person for 3 or more days and feels like that I m liking other people or I m feeling something something for him this fears me oe I feels guilty for my partner because I love him so much can it can be ocd liking or attracting other person for sometime with wrong feeling or intrusive thoughts pls answer?
The short answer - Accept that you’re attracted to other people. Then stop all compulsions.
Hi , I’m diagnosed by severe OCD but I didn’t know that I also have ROCD , I felt this boy was so attractive at first then when he confessed his feeling I started to question if he is really my type then it got worst sometimes it was yes and some no that really affected my feelings towards him although I feel that I really love him but whenever this thought comes the doubt starts,then One of my acquaintances I was attracted to him at past but when I sawed him again I felt like he is really my type more than that guy and felt interested in him and that if I was with him I will never doubt about his appearance bc his my type , I’m extremely confused if it is really my feelings or its just OCD . Is he really not my type? And do I really want the other guy ? And so on , until this day I’m so surprised that at first he was type then suddenly I felt like his appearance has changed like could this happen even he is literally the same person I knew at first ,is this also OCD
Sounds like obsessions and compulsions to me.
@@MyOCDCoach Thank you ❤️
@@ayanasser5708
How are you
What do you do when you find yourself thinking about someone else outside of your marriage/feelings for someone else and dont know what to do.
Do you allow yourself to find other people, attractive, or have thoughts about others, but you don’t spend time engaging with them.
@myocdcoach yes this is exactly what i am going through. I don't spend time with them or engage in any type.
Is this a form of ocd. Cause I obsess about this situation a lot and constantly confess to my partner about it.. I feel terrible.
@@artwitholiver yes, I OCD consists of obsessions and compulsions, which can be about any thoughts or situation.
so my boyfriend has ocd and he struggles with confession. i love him so much but his ocd is definitely confusing and i’m not sure when i should be concerned or not. he will find other women attractive and obsess about certain girls and he thinks they are “perfect” for him because of a specific trait they share. he will think about them during sex or randomly call me their names on accident when the ocd is bad. he gets so anxious. how should i deal with this as his girlfriend? does he actually find these women attractive or is it all intrusive thoughts? he is currently in therapy.
Is he getting proper help though - ERP? Do you notice a difference? If he is getting proper help, you should notice a difference. Ups and downs are common, but progress should continue. Compulsions should be getting lower (goal = 0).
I have a great course for partners/friends/family of those w/ OCD to help you understand and help them - www.myocdcoach.com/offers/ktYHcgaK
Hello, From the past one month I have been suffering from this. I hangout with a boy for 10 days being in long distance relationship. I was excited and thought that I like him and told my partner about it that it pressurizing me. But, I know I was just it’s not what I thought it was. After that me and my partner talked about it and we’re so happy. Now , I am having intrusive thoughts about him. But I love my boyfriend so much that, I feel guilty for my partner for having those thoughts. Does this condition called rocd? How to overcome this, please help me.
You can overcome ROCD with ERP and The REAL Method that I teach. Obsessing/limerence about another person is something you can choose to stop engaging with.
Hello ma'am. My intrusive thoughts are about my ex and i just really don't want to go back ever and always..
always want to be with my current partner and I really love him but my mind is literally trying to convince me hard to go back aur Im still connected to my ex and i just really hate this thing but feels so real like that person is always on my mind, his room, his sister and everything sometimes i get 0 anxiety sometimes alot and i was trying to cut down the compulsions like asking to people or ruminating about it and recently I had 2 good days but now its getting worse now I'm getting memories with him on loop, his face, our video chats and everything that is trying hard to convince me that im still with my ex, and now sometimes its liks I was more happy with my and not with my current partner but thats not true and i aslo feel disconnected with my current partner now its like i don't have that excitement now but I just really don't want this. But its trying to convince me hard that this is the only reality. PLEASE HELP MAAM CAN'T AFFORD YOUR SESSIONS. ITS BEEN 5 MONTHS NOW. And more thing its like when I want to do something special aur loving my minds like wait don't do this the same thing you have had with your ex be loyal to your these types of things I just hate this. And sometimes it's like I want to consciously think of him. I don't know what's this but I wish I never would have meet him.
Hi! OCD stops bothering you when you stop compulsions. Start working on learning what they are (see my last video on 11 Hidden Compulsions) and reducing them to zero over time. Accepting the thoughts and uncertainty will help.
@@MyOCDCoachand ma'am what about the memories on loop its feels like more connected to them and his name comming again and again in my mind.😔
@@thelife_ofkhushi let them be there and don’t give them attention.
@@MyOCDCoach ok thankyou ma'am ♥️
Bhai mere saath bhi same ho rha hai 2 weeks se💀🙂..... Going through same situation....
My attraction to that other person popped in a dream and it made me feel something. Now I am obsessing and worrying. Can the ROCD themes affect dreams?
Yes
@@MyOCDCoach Thank you
@@vansi595
How are you know??
I am doing better. When a thought about this person pops up, I just don't give it that much meaning and make a point of not comparing. I also started some medication. I have my episodes but I can menage then better. In fact my boyfriend and I are having our second anniversary today and I'm looking forward to our future together.
@@vansi595 Oh, this is wonderful, I hope you are happy
But did you feel that you were so attracted to another person that things seemed real? I'm at the point where I'm starting to believe this idea
I'm going through this in a really horrible way, is there anyone who wants to talk please
I need help please 😣I feel stuck with a specific person,I often feel that Im attracted and this is causing me anxiety and overthinking.Before getting into relationship these kind of things didn't affect me but after get getting into relationship I feel hell inside,and this causes anxiety always,how can I come out of this,is this feeling is common? please reply 😣
I can definitely help! You can find different recovery options for ROCD at www.MyOCDCoach.com/rocd
@@MyOCDCoach thank you ❤️🫂but that fee for a 50 min call is 14,577 in Indian currency 🥲
So, I know that avoiding people you find attractive (who aren’t your partner) is a compulsion, but I’m confused about where to draw the line. I heard recently on an ROCD podcast that even people *without* ROCD have thoughts of “im not gonna hang out with this person anymore because i feel attraction to them while im in a relationship with someone else” which confused me. maybe i interpreted it wrong. but this makes me think that “normal” people also avoid attractive people if theyre in a relationship to some extent, or at least make sure they themselves aren’t the one to initiate the contact/time spent together. is this totally incorrect?
They’re doing it for a different reason, nothing to do with fear.
@@MyOCDCoach so if they’re secure in their self-control, why do they avoid? shouldn’t they be able to allow their feelings of attraction to be present and pass, and carry on interacting/hanging out with said person?
@@christinelarsen4676 there are different reasons, but it might just be that they’re valuing their current relationship and don’t wanna cross any boundaries. It would be situation specific.
I cheated on my boyfriend about two years ago and I caused a lot of trauma for both me and him. We’re still together until this day (my boyfriend) but I keep having I intrusive thoughts with anyone and everyone!! And it’s all sexual related and I absolutely hate it! How do I stop it?
ERP and the method I teach. Feel free to check out my recovery programs at www.MyOCDCoach.com
@@MyOCDCoach I’m underage to pay for help 🥺
can ocd make you habitual about thought sometime we think about the thought or image himself
OCD consists of obsessions or fears/things that "bother" you, followed by compulsions. Ruminating on one thought/thing is part of the obsession.
tell me is it an OCD relationship or not? It's just that my wife makes me anxious and uncomfortable. When I talk to her, especially on the phone. When they talk about it. When I want to say a warm phrase or that I love her. I know that I love her and want to be with her. But I can't figure out what it is. Why am I anxious and uncomfortable to say that I love her for other phrases?
Sounds like OCD to me, but I'd have to talk to you to know for sure. Check out my other videos on this subject or work with me at www.MyOCDCoach.com
tell me relationship OCD and relationship anxiety are the same thing?
They are not. OCD causes anxiety, but OCD comes with compulsions and these compulsions increase the symptoms. OCD requires ERP treatment. Exposure therapy is helpful for anxiety, but necessary for OCD recovery.
@@MyOCDCoach
Yesterday we had a little fight with the girl because she didn’t want to go for a walk because of the bad weather. I was very upset and a little angry + thoughts went. But then some time passed, I forgot about that situation. But this afternoon I got the idea that what if, because of the distance, she would bore me, and suddenly I would stop loving her, and suddenly I would lose interest, suddenly I would get tired of communicating with her on the phone. And I reacted to it. And now I think about it all day. But it feels like it’s not OCD but just worrying thoughts, because there’s a different atmosphere. What do you think?
@@levostapchuk7715 I think this all sounds like OCD! Proper treatment is available! The Path is a great option! www.myocdcoach.com
It is normal if I'm stucked with a specific person? And why this shit feels so real?
Sounds like reassurance seeking here, an OCD compulsion. "Is X normal" is a common reassurance seeking question. It will feel more real the more attention you give this. Use your ERP skills here!
@@MyOCDCoachERP? I think I need that can you please tell me more about it😣
Yes I stuck with a specific person too😣I don't really feel comfortable with this feeling it's killing me and also making me feel that I will cheat and it makes me feel that I am a bad person 😣Ho God I need to come out of this
What if I obsess that im attracted to the person to the point my mind is fillied with that person, where my attraction to my partner becomes extremly foggy because im obsessing and guilty about feeling attraaction to someone else. What can I do to fix this I just want my mind with my partner and no one else, the underlying issue is that this person and I need to talk for professional purposes like work. What can i do?
This video explains. Learn and apply ERP techniques to all intrusive thoughts. Stop all compulsions.
The same is happening to me
@@Chaquetas344
Me to😢