“Why the *fuck* are you smoking pot and watching motivation videos all day?” The delivery of that line, along with its relevance to my life, had me losing my shit. I’m 5 months sober from booze and today’s day 1 on pot. Thanks for all the help Dr. K! Edit because a lot of people are still seeing this comment. From smoking basically all day, every day, I’m 4 days without any weed at all. I’m starting to recognize the need for healthier coping skills because it dawned on me that my go-to method for dealing with shitty feelings is to smoke them out or drown them in liquor. This week is about finding healthy alternatives to those choices. Thank you everybody for the encouraging words. For anyone who’s trying to get sober, you can do this. Remember that any time you try to quit and fail, you learn a little more that will help you next time you try again.
Congratulations and keep it up. I'm two years pot clean and little over 1 year tobacco clean. I have maybe 2 or 3 beers a month socially with friends but that's it. My lungs feel much better. And also don't go back to smoking pot, it really messes with you I don't care how much pro pot propaganda they spill out. Yeah pot isn't as bad as many say but to say it has no negative effects or very little is bullsh*t.
I've been smoking pot and playing videogames for four months straight so I'm with ya. It feels better than actually dealing with shit but when the high is gone you realize you were just doing random ass sidequests.
The thing I appreciate the most about Dr. K is how he respects that he only knows what he knows and never tries to get too esoteric. The advice always stays grounded and practical and applicable in day to day life.
I would disagree, Dr. K has a lot of esoteric information that he shares but he usually keeps his TH-cam videos to the more simple digestible information so he can reach a larger audience.
@@musicshade9049 kind of? The whole, "do what ever you want life is a sandbox" and "I could run down the street naked if I wanted" is kind of against what Dr. JP teaches.
@@musicshade9049 idk pretty much everything was different and imo these 12 rules are a lot more... grounded and practical and dont sound like theyre motivated by some kind of political agenda but thats just my opinion
I'm missing a very important rule: "There are no NPC's, just other players". You may feel like ther protagonist in your own little anime, but so is everyone else in theirs with feelings, wants and needs included. So respect those like you expect others to respect yours.
The problem that being the protagonist of your own story is that you don't see yourself or view as a good guy or a bad guy. You are always thinking that you're right 100 percents of the time. It the other guy is the problem you never see yourself as the villains. You mostly see people not yourself. I see myself as more of the villain type. What the difference a hero vs a villain Heroes believe that they have received/born with super powers to help and save the innocent. While on the other side, villains believe they have superpowers to help them change the world they live in and make it their own.
@@maciellz If someone is obsessed with video games and they think real life is too complex, they will be stuck. But, life isn't actually complex. Life only seems complicated when you can come up with 100 reasons for why it's too difficult. When you figure out 1 thing, you still have 99 more things to figure out. Then, when you're done with that, another 1000. But, they're all just excuses that are holding you back. Then before you know it, years have passed and you haven't done anything.
"Beware people who sell walkthroughs to open world games" This reminds me of something I always tell people when they ask for advice: Don't ask what you _should_ do before you ask what you _want_ to do. Most guides for open-ended games don't tell you how to "beat the game," but how to do something specific. Beat the ender dragon. Maximize DPS. Maximize healing. The keyword is "specific." These guides can tell you how to achieve a specific goal, but they don't tell you how to just "play the game." In this way, "should" is only ever in service of a specific "want." Parenting advice is the most frequent example of this. "Should I punish my kid for _____? Should I encourage my kid to _____?" So many times the parent asks what they should do with their kids, but they have no clue how exactly they want the kid to turn out. You can have a kid who stands for what is right at the cost of rocking the boat, or you might want a kid who can fit into any system and doesn't burden it. You can have a kid who puts logic first, or prioritizes how others around them feel. Do you want a kid to be wise and kind, or courageous and tough? These will fundamentally change the answer of what you "should" do, and people forget that.
Dr.K Rules for Life 1. Spawn Points are RNG. You don’t get to choose your race, gender, sex, family, and home environment. All you can do is try your best with the hand you’re dealt. 2. Life isn’t supposed to be anything, its a sandbox game. It is what you make of it. 3. Its your choice whether life is PVP or Co-Op. Think about which one you want and how you play the game of life. 4. There are world bosses that cannot be defeated on their own. Things like school shootings and misogyny cant be defeated by one person, they get downed by everyone trying to take them down; even if they now that they’re strong enough to do it alone. No snowflake thinks its responsible for the avalanche. 5. No respawns, and the servers die in about 72 years on average. The time that you get is what you get, so think about how you use it. 6. No exponential EXP to level up and learn new things, its static. Reading a book, learning a language, and graduating college takes the same amount of time regardless if you’re 20 or 50. 7. Be aware of people selling walkthroughs of sandbox games. Nobody has perfect information on what you should do for your life, because nobody has lived your life. All they can do is guess based on what they know, and just because they say stuff that resonates with you doesn’t mean you should take it as gospel. Dr.K also falls into this bucket, so learn what you can, but take it as suggestions rather than objective truth. 8. Gear up before you help others. Start with yourself before you carey others. Become strong, independent, capable and confident. And the first step to doing that is to be aware that complexity is the refuge of the mind. 9. Success depends on your raid guild. What you are depends on the guild that you’re apart of. 10. Any build is video. You can be a doctor, lawyer, or a guy making video compilations on the internet. Stop looking at what other people are playing and just play you’re own game. Do what ever you’re good at doing without comparing yourself to others. 11.Exploit the Meta. The meta is always going to change. Whether you play the society well or not determines whether or not its trash. 12. You are the Final Boss. The raid boss is just another mob. You are the only person who determines whether or not you live or die. It doesn’t matter if the enemy is Bowser or a Goomba, at the end of the day you’re the one who has to beat it. Some problems are harder than others, but the steps to solving them are always the same. And the first step Dr.K says is to “Get Good” and focus on what you can do instead of making excuses or thinking about what you should do.
Number six is incorrect as far as I can tell. The order in which you learn skills makes a huge difference - I personally recommend learning to learn because mastery means you can master skills in months instead of years.
@@danielr5343 Yeah it's basically a skill tree. if you decide to change your build later, you will not be able to go as deep as the people who started with that skill tree
@@morning5tarr "Clean your room" it's an inside joke from Dr. Jordan Peterson's community. He repeated that so often(even though he really meant it) that his listeners began to use the phrase as an "universal advice"/motivation quote joke. If you are interested you can actually google it and see yourself: just type in "clean your room" and the very first video with his name on it will probably have a comment section full of jokes of this kind. I would genuinely recommend anyone to get acquainted with his lectures/book/ views on world and philosophy at least cause the man is fantastically smart.
@@dezt538 sure bud I will look into it, I was just surfing the internet casually and caught this guys' video, will take out time to surely go through this video whole then will proceed as you mentioned, thanks for the heads up
It's very important that we "go with the flow". Because so many people chase success thinking it brings the ultimate happiness when in reality that satisfaction is very temporary. Or we put ourselves down thinking we are not good enough. Also, good enough compared to...what exactly? There's really nothing important out there that we need to compare ourselves to.
Just expectations in general. If bad things happen when you expect good things to, you may lose your motivation. If you expect bad things to happen, you might not even attempt to try in the first place.
In my case I dont agree that it takes the joy out of my life, even the opposite. I'm at a good place in life right now, making most out of it, but then these thoughts try to mess with me: "am I wasting my time? Should I be doing something else?" and then of course comparing to other people, what they are doing, where they are in life. If I accept that I'm not **supposed** to be or do anything, I can focus solely on what I actually wanna do, enjoy process and progress and not ruin it with useless expectations
I think a better analogy for the “walkthrough” problem is that life is a roguelike. There’s strategies to deal with what could appear, but everyone’s run is always different, so a walkthrough for one specific run might not work with your rng
I kinda like the idea that life is like a rougelike. The deaths and having to start over are kinda like making mistakes. They cause setbacks, but we get to keep trying. And our progress is wholly dependent on whether we do keep trying or not.
@@abirhasankhan9327 roguelike is a game like the very old game 'rogue' where you explore a randomly generated dungeon, and if you die you have to start the whole game over. Binding of Isaac is probably the most well known example. Souls like is a game with similarities to dark souls and it's pretty vague since dark souls takes a lot from previous action RPGs Key features are dodge rolling, checkpoints eg bonfire (you don't start the whole game over if you die), big bosses before the next checkpoints, exploring a metroid / castlevania style world where you unlock new areas and shortcuts through play, and a story told through the world and little interactions with NPCs rather than told in a more traditional way
You never waste learning a skill, it's about figuring out how its transferrable. Learning a language is such a good example of this, if you've already tried to learn 4 languages and failed, you're better placed than ever to try learning a 5th.
You never really fail at learning a language because languages aren't so pass/fail black and white You just decide to stop where you're at and do something else or take a break from it for a while
I'm at 2 I can speak at a native level and I can read russian, but I don't understand it. I started learning how to read it a long time ago so don't start shit about ukraine, I'm not in support of that invasion. Anyway, because of one of the languages I know, I can understand some of the words I read.
"The Final Boss is You." This one absolutely resonates with me. I've only found your channel recently, but even the few videos I have watched have had actual positive effects on my mindset and my life. Thank you, Dr. K.
Dr. K, you're different. You're not helping us with our problems. You are teaching us how to help ourselves to solve our problems. In other words, you're not a walkthrough seller. You're a party member who helps us with our personalized quests.
You know it's funny, Dr. K tries to tell us in the beginning of the video that making "12 Rules to Life" is actually pretty non-sensical, that this video was primarily for fun and to give 12 solid pieces of base-level advice, but I think he almost doesn't realize how impactful and important some of his views that were shared here could be to people. This is my third time watching this video in an attempt to really let it all sink in, and it's some of the most freeing advice if you let it really sink in for yourself as well.
Also, a lot of his advice matches Jordan Peterson's advice just with gamer terms. Like his rule 8 is literally just Peterson's rule about "cleaning your room" first before you try to tackle other things or help other people.
Why are you watching youtube videos multiple times instead of going outside your room ans doing something with your life, it seems like everything went above your head jfc
@@freshrockpapa-e7799Why are you posting a reply to a TH-cam videos comment that's not even on the top 5? Why're you not cleaning your own room? Did JP and Dr. K 's words fly over your head?
@@insideurwalls3758 Because unlike OP, I haven't watched this video 3 times. Also my room is clean. Also when I typed the comment, it was the top comment, but apparently it wasn't even top 5 for you, so why don't you go clean your own room? JFC
Interestingly Dr K has almost the opposite problem to Peterson. Peterson sometimes overestimates his importance and speaks on things that maybe he should leave. Dr K underestimates his importance and is too humble and doesn't realise how much of an impact he could potentially make.
I know you probably won't see this Dr. K. Regardless though I want to let you know how big of an impact you've had on my life the last few months I've been watching you. Ive felt like an alien my whole life. Watching your videos has finally made me feel like an actual person. I finally am starting to understand MYSELF after 26 years. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing what you do.
and- and, that's like... unhealthy man! You could make a couple rules and let's say you're a smoker and an alcoholic, the rules that you make... wouldn't necessarily make your life better, so it's just giving a sort of convenience to yourself. And, alot of people have told me my rules for life- on quora- although my 12 Rules for Life book has seen some positive reviews, so on quora, my answer has reached a very high amoun... yeah tbh I don't even know wtf I was saying lmao. I was just trying to speak nonsense or literally anything, I just tried to have Jordan Peterson's type of dialogue.
“why the fuck are you smoking pot and watching motivational videos all day” had me so dead, but it’s unfortunately so true. i just smoke right when i get home from work and watch these videos and proceed to do nothing about my life. i appreciate the work you do.
I lost ten years of my life to End-Stage Renal failure. Just finally going back to college after receiving a transplant and your videos have been a guiding light. Thanks Dr. K.
It's still has a Creative mode. where you can Re-Spawn as many times as you want. Change the RnG to your preference. Change which stage of progress in the game you want to spawn at.
@@movement2contact What, there's a rocket? I got a drone army that can build a factory in a matter of second, a rail that could bring you from Paris to Beijing, an encyclopedia of blueprint to do literally anything, and far too much power to make it all work, why would i leave this world? MY world ? There's so much more natural resource to steal and locals to kill, i can't leave now !
I feel that along with entertainment, mental health will become one of the biggest points of focus, because as automation overtakes 70-75% of all jobs, and people eventually don't need to work (or only work voluntarily to make the world a better place), self work/care and personal development will become a huge part of most people's lives. Right now, most people don't have the luxury to stop the momentum of their life for long enough to step back and get some perspective on it or analyze it to see what could be changed for the better. Once this becomes the norm I think we'll see a paradigm shift where kindness and compassion overtake many of the old societal/cultural mainstays like fear and hate. Some might say that this is too optimistic, but the world as continually become a better and safer place every year, and I feel that these coming changes will push that into overdrive.
I think we'll need droves of people who are mental health experts because depression will continue to sky rocket. All those people who don't need to work? "They need to be entertained" said Dr. K. And one day after 6 straight months of netflix binging, online shopping, and games, they'll stop and think, "Is this all there is to life? Is this why I was born? To consume media and material goods? How utterly pointless."
I think this is also the reason some people are so vehemently against the idea of us not having to work anymore - at least, not the traditional way we are familiar with. I think many people are terrified of feeling their feelings and hearing their thoughts that the idea of having all of that free time scares them. Staying busy is big business for people afraid of their own inner worlds.
@@erynspeers I don't think it's that simple. Many people don't have much of an 'inner world' to begin with, so its not just a problem of avoiding discomfort through work. I don't know how long you expect people to just 'sit and feel feelings' but eventually, most will look for something to do. 'Work' is a big source of confidence, self-esteem, accomplishment, and a general sense of purpose for a lot of people. Sure, jobs are not the only place one can gain these feelings, but inner peace doesn't really provide a substitute either.
I think we are going to see a lot more small enterprises, precisely because, as said above, that after 6 months or so of watching netflix non-stop people are going to ask: what next? And with the free time people will start choosing: to learn, to create, to help build a better society, to grow a vegetable patch in the backyard for self sufficiency, etc. I think it will trigger a new age of enlightenment. New research, new artisanal skills, new art, more innovations, improvements in caring for others, and less stress can equal better mental health too.
"Beware of people who sell walkthroughs to sandbox games" is my new favorite phrase-- It encapsulates the truth to how the individual should NOT navigate the issues of this century perfectly
Hello Dr. K! Idk if you'd be able to read this, but I've been keeping in my mind for many weeks now since discovering your channel, how it takes approx. a year to start changing one's life. With all the nuances you constantly elaborate on across diff. topics, I never feel as though I should be careful about you being a potentially harmful "walkthrough seller". You yourself have amazing attributes and movesets, and I really cannot emphasize enough what an absolute gem it is to find an extremely competent therapist player who explains gameplay and mindset mechanics so well in this bizarre experience called Life. Your info logs really arranges things into perspective, and this is gonna sound weird but I can somewhat feel my brain reshuffling to make room for more courage and willpower. I wish for everyone else on here nothing but the best, and may your build bring you worthwhile XP and meaningful connections with other players.
He is right though, people do have to be careful when engaging with him in sell mode. Don't buy his HG courses if you think they will magically solve everything, don't sign up to coaching expecting something it's not.
9:36 I am studying psychology in Uni because I want to understand people to be able to help them, but I have realised I am learning about myself at the same time, because if I don't understand myself I can't help someone else
I love the video games inuendos to actual real life stuff. It's honestly shocking how well Dr. K puts both real life and gaming together to make a point lol.
I cant believe someone is out here teaching life lessons and mental health. This feels relieving, this is a great teacher right here.. I never had things explained so clearly like the one teacher I had in high school lol LOVE THIS CHANNEL!
Wow, I like your version of this. Thanks for reminding us that there are things in life that are out of our control, and things that we can control too.
I feel you with the meta. I found comfort when the job hunt grind was depressing me. I started working on my art commissions more, and then patreon took off and i've slowly made a career out of it. I'd be in a worse place if I hadnt made some of these decisions
This felt like a squadron call before we go to war. Spot the enemy. Know your weaknesses, advantages, and disadvantages. Here are the ways to fight, overcome, and win. This was grounding and inspiring. Thank you.
You are the final boss. That's gonna resonate with me. I've always thought, you yourself are the closest thing to a deity in your own life, since you can influence it the most directly. Are your choices limited by your environment? Absolutely. But you're the one in the driver seat, and if anyone is gonna get you out of that sandstorm or blizzard, you're topping the leaderboard. Doesn't mean you do it alone, or that you don't need outside help, but you do have to get that help. You do have to decide to take it when it's offered. You hold the controller even when you're watching a guide, and nobody else is gonna play it for you. So take the miracle of existence and do something, anything with it, because you're the only one who can.
These last few videos (the one about school shootings, misogyny and this one) are so good and give me a lot of hope for the future. I really appreciate Dr. K's work, his team and this community as a whole. 😊 Thank you everyone!
I hope in the future one with the misandry topic, is as important as the misogyny one but much time encouraged, like: yas girl, yas queen, you go girl, teach them, men are trash, etc. There are other topics I want him to touch, like the over luxury and over consuming or excess drive, but that one can be linked to addictions or addictive drives.
I was in my early 30s when I finally got my shit together. Quit my terrible call center job and started doing tier I tech support for a MSP. Quickly ended up as their junior sysadmin. Learned I have a knack for debugging software. Ended up going to night school to get a master's degree in business tech. Now I'm a business analyst working for a small software company, one of those jobs uniquely suited to ADHD brain since there's always some new challenge every day, but none of them are too much for me to handle.
i dont know why its so helpful to hear these concepts in video game analogies but it makes some stuff click in ways I've never really clicked before. Thank you!!
I wrote a huge wall of text expressing how important the timing of this video and of this channel is and has been for me but it got deleted :( I just wanna say thank you. I feel that you truly understand how our brains work. I feel that you give us hope by seeing in us unleashed potential and not just broken people. What you are doing is incredibly fucking valuable and I might just tear up a little bit. I am at a turning point in my life. I'm 21. I did an exchange semester in a foreign country and decided to stay here and to drop out of college until I piece together the puzzle. I am following right now CBT and getting help for the first time in my life. I am empowered. I am a Vata and it turns out that I just didn't know how tf to approach life projects, and I didn't have a healthy mindset to push me forward. I feel like that has changed greatly thanks to both CBT, your channel, Discord and videos, and thanks to myself. I have progressed so damn much in the last couple of months it feels weird. It feels as if I am FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE truly awake. It's still confusing af and painful at times, don't get me wrong, but I know I am somehow awake to my bigger purpose in life, to my path. I am very tired, and disappointed that my other comment got lost, but alas. It's also my birthday so this feels mega freaking cosmical and crazy and jesus f christ, i am somehow awake to my sense of higher purpose. Thank you.
I'm not sure he is saying that spawn point has no effect on the options with in those groupings but you can still choose to focus on one or the other because not everyone in the world will be against you because of your starting point. A lot very well might be but there should also be people who can relate with that struggle or others who aren't affected by it but chose to do something about it anyways and you can play in pvp where you push these people away and just focus on getting yourself ahead over everything else or you can play co-op and work with these different people to achieve greater things. Like he said those bosses are out there and they are real obstacles but you have power in the agency of how to tackle them.
Btw. that would be a cool idea to meet yourself as the finale boss in a Dark Souls. Through your entire walkthrough the AI is learning how you've been playing and creates a boss who fights like you.
DS3 spoilers: The last boss, Souls of Cinder, plays like different builds a player can choose in its first phase, kind of being an accumulation of all the players before you as well as you in the first game
@@darklord5554 when i first came across that boss, i thought it was impossible lol. took me about 4 days (with an hour of practice each day) to really understand the ai and win. Felt amazing
Thank you a million times over. I’ve been addicted to TH-cam for most of my life and watching this exact video marks the moment I stop procrastinating, get away from all of my addictions, and actually get good. Not in the future, in this present.
Just recently discovered Dr. K here on TH-cam through following Lyle the Therapy Gecko. Watching both of these guys has been helping me through some of the darkest, most painful times of my life. Just wanted to express my gratitude for all you do Dr. K. 🙏🏼
Rule #7 really called me out. I have been watching your videos for a while now, and I have been trying to cautiously diagnose myself when it came to my internet addiction, as well as why it’s more difficult for me to stop. I think I have been making excuses for myself by using neurology and past negative experiences as excuses. I have been doing exactly what you said about addictive minds. I saw my situation as complex. It really was the refuge for my brain. Rule #12 has me thinking a lot as well. Honestly, it’s really embarrassing to think about how much I have held myself back. I think I will come back to this comment in a year and let you know how I finally “got good.” (Or at least improved.) Thanks for the tips/rules. I’m going to share this with some other people who can really benefit front this video. I already sent it to one person while I was in the middle of listening. Cya in a year~ 👋🏻✨✌🏼
Those were the 2 more notable ones for me too, I've been holding myself back in such a stupid way right now, and thinking it's all so complex. It's almost silly to see it all this way
Watching a HealthyGamerGG stream/video is like searching a tutorial for a quest you can't find the answer for, it saves time, and has good rewards when you proceed step-by-step
This is a FANTASTIC video, and I love that, though the advice is universal, it's worded in such a way that we gamers know EXACTLY what is meant, instantly. Sublime.
the fact that you can talk and it sounds like your talking to me directly is upsetting and also uplifting. its nice to know I am not alone in hesitation, doubt, problems etc. But also makes me feel bad I know the raid boss is me, and the options are endless and I stand paralyzed to pick so wind up getting wiped on repeat. Good thing I got endless content and awhile before they shut off the server
the initial videos i watched of you were quite clear consise and specific but a lot of this is beyond me even though i am autistic have APD and insecure attachement all three and ahdonia you have now given me the courage to get rid of my pyschiatrist. i have been on my own for 44 years i have no family nothing worthwhile to pursue. the point on easy walk throughs i sused that out by watching some people who think they are trained in mental health and just like the sound of their own voice which is part of the barum theory one is born every second. i had a massive melt down a few days with a dispute with an electicity supplier and could see i still have LFT but i have had a massive breakthrough with taking essences for learning difficulties over the past few days. with this new mindset i willbe able to come out the rabbit hole of shame i am what i think your think i am.
@@Jordan64852 it’s subjective. Most people would say that the meta in the previous hundreds/thousands of years was trash (especially for some people) compared to today’s meta. It’s just a tough game for the most part unless you spawn with heirloom equipment.
I disagree with that point. Not everyone has the same chances to play the society well, not everyone can play the society well (at least not from a capitalist viewpoint). This is a contradiction to his first rule. I understand that the point of this is that you'll probably like the society if you're successfull in it, but that doesn't mean the society really is good.
@@asdrt6405 I think we should not take this video too seriously. I think it's more of a fun video, and I find many of the rules he proposes really good. The contradictions are probably just an effect by the lack of work being put into this.
@@asdrt6405 he doesn't understand his first rule? Wtf does that mean? Stop pitying yourself so much, your spawn was probably as bad as everyone here but this shit is not going to help it
I really liked when he said that sometimes feelings are just feelings. It hits me hard. It makes me think about when I get assigned school work for example. It can be challenging, so I procrastinate because I feel like I don't know how to do it or feel like I'm already behind. In my case those are just feelings, and I have prooven again and again by completing my assignments that I am able to do them and that it doesn't matter if I haven't started working on a project in 2 weeks when it's due in 4. The fact that my emotions can paralyze me makes things a whole lot worse. It takes energy to stop those emotions, and often times I don't have the energy to do that because of a pretty bad sleep schedule and well now I'm off topic and it's 1:30 am already... Oops.
Oof, I feel that. I also have a crap sleep schedule. Let’s both try to get better, yeah? I actually almost woke up early today after pulling an all-nighter the night before. Well, I did. I woke up at 9:30, felt great, journaled for one hour, started reading my Bible for 10 minutes before my cat found me in my bed, and then I proceeded to sleep for another hour and a half b/c of him. (He’s like a sleeping drug lol) I almost made it. I procrastinate horribly too. It’s not even funny. I literally turn things in at 11:59 pm even though there is no point in waiting that long. My sister does the same thing. She has someone in her life that used to do what we did, but he finally pulled himself together after YEARS and realized how stupid it was to procrastinate in the first place. You are going to do it at some point, so just do it now so you can actually do what you love. Isn’t it funny how much we rob ourselves of happiness for no reason? Anyways, have a good night. and go to bed earlier! Sleep is great. OH- you should watch a video on what the different stages of sleep mean for your brain. It’s really interesting and it puts more gravity on the importance of sleep. ALSO, did you know that if you spend 2 hours a day on your phone (every single day for the year) you have actually spent an ENTIRE MONTH on your phone? Yeah- feels bad. I’m going to stop procrastinating now. Okbye
@@kikipeaches2876 haha yeah, and look! Sometimes it feels so nice to vent out in the comments on Dr.K's videos because there's always someone that understands and actually talks in a helpful way, example: you. Btw thank you, I did sleep well but no matter how good the sleep was I'm soo so sore from the gym (lmao) Though yeah it really sucks to procrastinate, and good on that guy for pulling it together, much respect. And I agree, it is kinda funny how much we can rob ourselves of happiness for no reason. I remember watching a yt video on sleep some time ago, can't remember when and yt videos don't really stay fresh in my memory more than an hour :( I'll go look it up though, thanks for the suggestion!
Ever seen Sword art online? Awful story, but the concept is very very similar to what life is, only it's fantasy. There are floors you need to clear to move on in life; school, finding purpose, financial struggles, mental anguish. With a good "raid guild" you're able to play the sandbox game in the most effective and happy way possible. Without a good raid guild, that's impossible, because you'll be stomped by the raid bosses.
Feel what he meant, Dont focus on smaller thing. Sometimes you could see life as a sandbox, meaning, you can shape it to your liking Sometimes you could see life as rpg, meaning you can build, you can choose your job, you can choose what you do. etc Nothing is 100% wrong or right.
Will have to save this and return more than once for sure - , It’s easier said than done but still very much appreciate the clarity of the message Dr K.✨🙏
2 (what life is supposed to be) and 5 (clock is ticking) are gold. Throw everyone else’s expectations out the the window. Pursue ur own. Unfortunately we spend a lot of time shaping ppl’s expectations. Especially from age 6-18/22. Also. Everyone needs a reminder. The clock is ticking. Plan, execute, reassess, execute.
Thank you! Like you said at the beginning, there's not a single guide to life. That being said, I think this is great advice and very valuable concepts to think about.
14:08 for rule #11 specifically I'd like to recommend A Whole New Mind by Daniel H Pink. It resonates and makes incredible sense with DrK POV. It elaborate how we progress from the information era to conceptual era (our current societal Meta) in which, human thrive for higher mental emotional needs of entertainment sympathy authenticity philosophical meaning, cheaper labour outsourcing overseas in Southeast Asia outside the US, more and more works got replaced by automation machine learning chatGPT. To survive, there're 6 adaptable principles and practices based on human psychology, including 1. Design and Aesthetic, over function 2. Story telling, over argument 3. Symphony over specialization 4. Empathy over logic 5. Playfulness over seriousness 6. Meaning over accumulation
I know you were semi meming with this Video. But believe you me for all the Gamers out there this is GOLD, you literally put it in a gaming concept and when it comes to that we understand very well and it just makes so much sense from this different perspective that we all can understand. Sometimes simplifying this complex life is really all it takes.
Great video! I love how you break down these principles in an easily digestible way. Rule 8 really stuck out to me and is something often on my mind. I’m a relatively new psychotherapist and have been realizing more and more that certain lifestyle things that worked in my twenties/previous jobs with less responsibility (staying up late gaming, smoking weed a few times a week, eating terribly, etc.) just aren’t going to work anymore. I need to walk the path myself if I’m going to help clients do the same, and you talking about that really resonated with me.
I'm not a gamer at all but I spend a lot of time on the phone/computer so I can relate to some of your videos, I have issues with mental health and get disciplined and motivated. I hope you realize you really help some people. You help me to try to fix myself, I see a therapist and your videos are kind of a bonus to work more on myself, get ideas etc Thank you for your work, see ya 🙋♂️
So true! All of this, but especially the careers out there that us with ADHD can excel with! Super grateful that I rediscovered my passion in Tech which led to my passion for Cybersecurity
I keep being amazed at how well this gaming analogy keeps working. Every time dr K says something and compares it to a game feature, I'm like: yes, exactly!
I stumbled accidentally on your videos yesterday, but I already like the way you present things. Individual responsibility, and down to earth. Well put and noice.
One of the better videos you've done. I quit pot a week ago because of you. I quit nicotine 5 days ago. I drank my first cup of coffee in 5 days after being completely straight edge. I'm using my meds as a tool instead of relying on them. Getting good starts with getting better.
This is actually great advice. I am a software engineer and ADHD actually does come in quite useful in my job because at any time I can be moved to a different project or asked to implement some tech I have never heard of before. So a constantly shifting focus is often required for this job Side note, YES everything will be automated. No job is secure! I couldn't agree more that entertainment is truly the only safe job path going forward!!! Learn to entertain people and make money from it as soon as you can.
I think there is something to be said for brain plasticity during certain windows, like how kids need to learn language at a certain time (kids raised by wolves are never able to master language in the way kids raised by humans do) and the relevance of information depending on the times. There's also a point to be made about young people are more able to master skills because it's likely that they are otherwise supported through life. They don't need to pay bills or keep a house or take care of anyone, so they can hyperfocus on what interests them and grow quickly because of it. I'd love to be more fluent at Japanese, learn how to make digital art, become a good streamer, etc, but holy shit I have chronic health issues and if I don't have insurance I'll lose all my savings in a flash. I have to work 8 hours a day doing shit I don't necessarily like, make sure my house is clean, cook for myself, etc. I have so many fucks to give, and it's rare for me to finish a day of work and feel like I have anything left for anything other than playing games I already know how to play. So I think he's right about content not changing, but your ability to absorb and act on said content, and the actual time you have to spend on it certainly does.
Did you ever try listening to Japanese drama CDs? Listen to them over and over again, until you finally can understand every single word of it. Doesn't have to take energy, you just use them for immersion. To get used to hearing the language. And let your subconscious do the job of sorting it out. I have a brother whovs able to speak simple Japanese, grammatically, just because he watched that mutch anime. His brain just somehow figured out the rules without his conscious effort.
@@gadnihasj I've taken several semesters of Japanese in my 20's, so I can read hiragana/katakana and I probably know about 200-300 kanji, so I've got that foundation already. I could do better at conjugation and sentence formation. I'm basically at the point where you could drop me in Japan and I could do okay, but I wish I could be conversational. I've found that playing text-heavy games with full voice acting (like datesims or rpgs) gets me to learn the fastest outside of actual lessons. I can match the text with what I'm hearing with context, and use something like google translate on my phone to puzzle out the words and kanji I don't know. But it's still an uphill struggle.
Another thing about world bosses: they still aren't defeated through individual efforts alone. If forty people try to kill, say, a dragon each on their own, they can throw themselves at the thing a thousand times and make not a single scratch, and the dragon will flatten the thousand-first attacker just as easily. But if a raid of the same forty comes together, formulates its tactics, makes sure they've got all the right skills between them and the necessary supplies, in short, organizes, well, then the dragon might just go down.
This. Just because you can't beat it with 40 pubbies without a mic it does not mean you can't found a guild or join one and put your share of the work into the concerted effort.
Dr K, I just gotta say I've been watching a ton of your videos and It's made me realize the damage Ive been putting on myself this whole time, and realizing a lot of stuff about me and my past and I just gottaa say thank you man, my mind is focused on my goal and I feel so much clearer and happier, thank you for what you do
You probably can't fix the world, but you can earn self-respect being a good, useful and contributing person. Helping others and being useful gives you a sense of value. Hard work, a sense of responsibility and working on yourself earns self-respect. Learning your true nature, reflecting and truly accepting yourself, and self-care practises leads to self-love. Letting go of expectations and practising gratitude leads to contentment, even happiness. A life mission and integrity of your values gives you a sense of belonging.
I have had the most depressing and hopeless feeling I ever felt in a long while when we got to the point of "you don't get to respawn" Wow. I was driving on my way to work and I don't think I have felt such a raw sense of my own mortality before. I was truly exhausted for like an hour. I feel better now because I reoriented and clung back to my faith but still wow it was an experience...
Huh, I think it would be like that for others that don't use memento mori as a constant mantra. But for me memento mori also means that I value my life A LOT and I am willing to do a lot of things to prolong and maintain it as good as possible.
The content doesn't expire - it's my favourite rule of this list. I was wondering lately whether I could actually become proficient in writing since I'm already 26. I was beginning to learn the craft several years ago, but for the last two years I have put things on hold. I'm trying to learn the ropes again. But being new at 23-24 does not feel the same as being new at 26, you know.
10:50 my dad ... oofh that makes me so sad. i've tried to break throug hhis 67 years of coping mechanisms but I don't think I believe he will ever see a way out. he doesn't even want to acknowledge his weaknesses.
“Why the *fuck* are you smoking pot and watching motivation videos all day?”
The delivery of that line, along with its relevance to my life, had me losing my shit. I’m 5 months sober from booze and today’s day 1 on pot. Thanks for all the help Dr. K!
Edit because a lot of people are still seeing this comment. From smoking basically all day, every day, I’m 4 days without any weed at all. I’m starting to recognize the need for healthier coping skills because it dawned on me that my go-to method for dealing with shitty feelings is to smoke them out or drown them in liquor. This week is about finding healthy alternatives to those choices. Thank you everybody for the encouraging words. For anyone who’s trying to get sober, you can do this. Remember that any time you try to quit and fail, you learn a little more that will help you next time you try again.
Nice man good luck
I don’t wanna assume anything but I hope ur using pot moderately , it can really get in there and mess with u if u become dependent on it by accident
Congratulations and keep it up. I'm two years pot clean and little over 1 year tobacco clean. I have maybe 2 or 3 beers a month socially with friends but that's it. My lungs feel much better. And also don't go back to smoking pot, it really messes with you I don't care how much pro pot propaganda they spill out. Yeah pot isn't as bad as many say but to say it has no negative effects or very little is bullsh*t.
i legit felt called out too, good shit.
I've been smoking pot and playing videogames for four months straight so I'm with ya. It feels better than actually dealing with shit but when the high is gone you realize you were just doing random ass sidequests.
The thing I appreciate the most about Dr. K is how he respects that he only knows what he knows and never tries to get too esoteric. The advice always stays grounded and practical and applicable in day to day life.
I would disagree, Dr. K has a lot of esoteric information that he shares but he usually keeps his TH-cam videos to the more simple digestible information so he can reach a larger audience.
I couldn't tell if he was agreeing with JP or ripping on him.
@@musicshade9049 kind of? The whole, "do what ever you want life is a sandbox" and "I could run down the street naked if I wanted" is kind of against what Dr. JP teaches.
@@VampireQueen375 Yes and no
@@musicshade9049 idk pretty much everything was different and imo these 12 rules are a lot more... grounded and practical and dont sound like theyre motivated by some kind of political agenda but thats just my opinion
I'm missing a very important rule: "There are no NPC's, just other players".
You may feel like ther protagonist in your own little anime, but so is everyone else in theirs with feelings, wants and needs included. So respect those like you expect others to respect yours.
Well said.
The problem that being the protagonist of your own story is that you don't see yourself or view as a good guy or a bad guy. You are always thinking that you're right 100 percents of the time.
It the other guy is the problem you never see yourself as the villains.
You mostly see people not yourself.
I see myself as more of the villain type.
What the difference a hero vs a villain
Heroes believe that they have received/born with super powers to help and save the innocent. While on the other side, villains believe they have superpowers to help them change the world they live in and make it their own.
Rule 3 kinda covered that don’t your think so?
In "Beyond Aggro: 12 More Rules", he'll probably address it...
I don't buy it
“Beware of the complexity of the brain. It is the refuge for an addictive mind” Dr. K spitting bars
Can you explain that ? I didn't get the sense
@@maciellz If someone is obsessed with video games and they think real life is too complex, they will be stuck. But, life isn't actually complex. Life only seems complicated when you can come up with 100 reasons for why it's too difficult. When you figure out 1 thing, you still have 99 more things to figure out. Then, when you're done with that, another 1000. But, they're all just excuses that are holding you back. Then before you know it, years have passed and you haven't done anything.
@@maciellz Don't overthink
@@maciellz The more complex a task is, the more excuses we can fixate on to avoid starting.
You got "brain" and "mind" mixed up. "“Beware of the complexity of the mind. It is the refuge of the addictive brain” is what he actually says.
"Beware people who sell walkthroughs to open world games"
This reminds me of something I always tell people when they ask for advice: Don't ask what you _should_ do before you ask what you _want_ to do.
Most guides for open-ended games don't tell you how to "beat the game," but how to do something specific. Beat the ender dragon. Maximize DPS. Maximize healing. The keyword is "specific." These guides can tell you how to achieve a specific goal, but they don't tell you how to just "play the game." In this way, "should" is only ever in service of a specific "want."
Parenting advice is the most frequent example of this. "Should I punish my kid for _____? Should I encourage my kid to _____?" So many times the parent asks what they should do with their kids, but they have no clue how exactly they want the kid to turn out. You can have a kid who stands for what is right at the cost of rocking the boat, or you might want a kid who can fit into any system and doesn't burden it. You can have a kid who puts logic first, or prioritizes how others around them feel. Do you want a kid to be wise and kind, or courageous and tough? These will fundamentally change the answer of what you "should" do, and people forget that.
Dr.K Rules for Life
1. Spawn Points are RNG. You don’t get to choose your race, gender, sex, family, and home environment. All you can do is try your best with the hand you’re dealt.
2. Life isn’t supposed to be anything, its a sandbox game. It is what you make of it.
3. Its your choice whether life is PVP or Co-Op. Think about which one you want and how you play the game of life.
4. There are world bosses that cannot be defeated on their own. Things like school shootings and misogyny cant be defeated by one person, they get downed by everyone trying to take them down; even if they now that they’re strong enough to do it alone. No snowflake thinks its responsible for the avalanche.
5. No respawns, and the servers die in about 72 years on average. The time that you get is what you get, so think about how you use it.
6. No exponential EXP to level up and learn new things, its static. Reading a book, learning a language, and graduating college takes the same amount of time regardless if you’re 20 or 50.
7. Be aware of people selling walkthroughs of sandbox games. Nobody has perfect information on what you should do for your life, because nobody has lived your life. All they can do is guess based on what they know, and just because they say stuff that resonates with you doesn’t mean you should take it as gospel. Dr.K also falls into this bucket, so learn what you can, but take it as suggestions rather than objective truth.
8. Gear up before you help others. Start with yourself before you carey others. Become strong, independent, capable and confident. And the first step to doing that is to be aware that complexity is the refuge of the mind.
9. Success depends on your raid guild.
What you are depends on the guild that you’re apart of.
10. Any build is video. You can be a doctor, lawyer, or a guy making video compilations on the internet. Stop looking at what other people are playing and just play you’re own game. Do what ever you’re good at doing without comparing yourself to others.
11.Exploit the Meta. The meta is always going to change. Whether you play the society well or not determines whether or not its trash.
12. You are the Final Boss. The raid boss is just another mob. You are the only person who determines whether or not you live or die. It doesn’t matter if the enemy is Bowser or a Goomba, at the end of the day you’re the one who has to beat it. Some problems are harder than others, but the steps to solving them are always the same. And the first step Dr.K says is to “Get Good” and focus on what you can do instead of making excuses or thinking about what you should do.
Thanks buddy
Number six is incorrect as far as I can tell. The order in which you learn skills makes a huge difference - I personally recommend learning to learn because mastery means you can master skills in months instead of years.
*10. Any build is viable.
@@danielr5343 And a child memorize a lot better
@@danielr5343 Yeah it's basically a skill tree. if you decide to change your build later, you will not be able to go as deep as the people who started with that skill tree
"Dr K I'd like to try out a meditation to help me get my life together"
Dr K: "GET GOOD"
Git Gud!
CLEAN YOUR ROOM
more like cleanse your environment/wherever you are - pour in the positivity then make your POV inwards
@@morning5tarr "Clean your room" it's an inside joke from Dr. Jordan Peterson's community. He repeated that so often(even though he really meant it) that his listeners began to use the phrase as an "universal advice"/motivation quote joke.
If you are interested you can actually google it and see yourself: just type in "clean your room" and the very first video with his name on it will probably have a comment section full of jokes of this kind.
I would genuinely recommend anyone to get acquainted with his lectures/book/ views on world and philosophy at least cause the man is fantastically smart.
@@dezt538 sure bud I will look into it, I was just surfing the internet casually and caught this guys' video, will take out time to surely go through this video whole then will proceed as you mentioned, thanks for the heads up
This video impacted me more than any of your others. Thank you.
Really? I feel like it was all common sense
Hello there Chisgule :)
@@therussiantrollnetwork7464 my guy why you got to yuck someone else’s yum.
What is up governors. This is chisgule coming at you with another sick top 12 rules to sla-
@@therussiantrollnetwork7464 it was, but sometimes it doesn’t sink in until you here someone else say it
"No snowflake thinks its responsible for the avalanche"
this line hits really deep
This should be the tutorial video right after you're born.
These gaming metaphors are genius ways to explain such profound things you are doing a great service to gamers everywhere :)
I'm not even a gamer but I find the metaphors helpful too!
Rule 2 is pretty powerful - "wrong expectations" can really take al the joy out of our lives
It's very important that we "go with the flow". Because so many people chase success thinking it brings the ultimate happiness when in reality that satisfaction is very temporary. Or we put ourselves down thinking we are not good enough. Also, good enough compared to...what exactly? There's really nothing important out there that we need to compare ourselves to.
This is why 'thinking positive' has ended up making me feel worse
Just expectations in general.
If bad things happen when you expect good things to, you may lose your motivation.
If you expect bad things to happen, you might not even attempt to try in the first place.
In my case I dont agree that it takes the joy out of my life, even the opposite. I'm at a good place in life right now, making most out of it, but then these thoughts try to mess with me: "am I wasting my time? Should I be doing something else?" and then of course comparing to other people, what they are doing, where they are in life. If I accept that I'm not **supposed** to be or do anything, I can focus solely on what I actually wanna do, enjoy process and progress and not ruin it with useless expectations
I think a better analogy for the “walkthrough” problem is that life is a roguelike. There’s strategies to deal with what could appear, but everyone’s run is always different, so a walkthrough for one specific run might not work with your rng
I kinda like the idea that life is like a rougelike. The deaths and having to start over are kinda like making mistakes. They cause setbacks, but we get to keep trying. And our progress is wholly dependent on whether we do keep trying or not.
my rng is lookin kind of pitiful
A little off topic but can someone tell me the difference between roguelike and soulslike?
@@abirhasankhan9327 roguelike is a game like the very old game 'rogue' where you explore a randomly generated dungeon, and if you die you have to start the whole game over. Binding of Isaac is probably the most well known example.
Souls like is a game with similarities to dark souls and it's pretty vague since dark souls takes a lot from previous action RPGs
Key features are dodge rolling, checkpoints eg bonfire (you don't start the whole game over if you die), big bosses before the next checkpoints, exploring a metroid / castlevania style world where you unlock new areas and shortcuts through play, and a story told through the world and little interactions with NPCs rather than told in a more traditional way
@@slugrag thanks
These analogies are blowing my mind. I haven't seen someone relate real life to video games quite like Dr. K. Amazing.
20:44 “why the f- are you smoking pot and watching motivational videos all day”
damn, that hit hard but it’s what i needed to hear, thanks man
You never waste learning a skill, it's about figuring out how its transferrable. Learning a language is such a good example of this, if you've already tried to learn 4 languages and failed, you're better placed than ever to try learning a 5th.
You never really fail at learning a language because languages aren't so pass/fail black and white
You just decide to stop where you're at and do something else or take a break from it for a while
I'm at 2 I can speak at a native level and I can read russian, but I don't understand it. I started learning how to read it a long time ago so don't start shit about ukraine, I'm not in support of that invasion. Anyway, because of one of the languages I know, I can understand some of the words I read.
every skill is a language to me in a way
Jordan Peterson meets World of Warcraft
"The Final Boss is You."
This one absolutely resonates with me. I've only found your channel recently, but even the few videos I have watched have had actual positive effects on my mindset and my life. Thank you, Dr. K.
Dr. K, you're different. You're not helping us with our problems. You are teaching us how to help ourselves to solve our problems. In other words, you're not a walkthrough seller. You're a party member who helps us with our personalized quests.
that's what a walkthrough does...
That's literally a walkthrough lmao. You're thinking about hard carry sellers with maxed out gear who solo carry noobs in raids for money.
Helping people help themselves is one if not THE main motto of terapeutic psychology! =)
You know it's funny, Dr. K tries to tell us in the beginning of the video that making "12 Rules to Life" is actually pretty non-sensical, that this video was primarily for fun and to give 12 solid pieces of base-level advice, but I think he almost doesn't realize how impactful and important some of his views that were shared here could be to people.
This is my third time watching this video in an attempt to really let it all sink in, and it's some of the most freeing advice if you let it really sink in for yourself as well.
Also, a lot of his advice matches Jordan Peterson's advice just with gamer terms. Like his rule 8 is literally just Peterson's rule about "cleaning your room" first before you try to tackle other things or help other people.
Why are you watching youtube videos multiple times instead of going outside your room ans doing something with your life, it seems like everything went above your head jfc
@@freshrockpapa-e7799Why are you posting a reply to a TH-cam videos comment that's not even on the top 5?
Why're you not cleaning your own room? Did JP and Dr. K 's words fly over your head?
@@insideurwalls3758 Because unlike OP, I haven't watched this video 3 times.
Also my room is clean.
Also when I typed the comment, it was the top comment, but apparently it wasn't even top 5 for you, so why don't you go clean your own room? JFC
Interestingly Dr K has almost the opposite problem to Peterson.
Peterson sometimes overestimates his importance and speaks on things that maybe he should leave. Dr K underestimates his importance and is too humble and doesn't realise how much of an impact he could potentially make.
I know you probably won't see this Dr. K. Regardless though I want to let you know how big of an impact you've had on my life the last few months I've been watching you. Ive felt like an alien my whole life. Watching your videos has finally made me feel like an actual person. I finally am starting to understand MYSELF after 26 years. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing what you do.
You love to see it. ❤️
Remember that at the end of the day it's you who changed yourself. So props to yourself for that.
Have my 69th up vote!
Oh lord. Thanks😂
Sorry, you were at a nice 100 up votes, but I made it 101 :P
using videogame terms to bring these topics into perspective is absolutely perfect. It blew my mind, thank you Dr.K and healthy gamer community
I think everyone has rules for life, although not many people articulate them.
Our intuitions are rich with unconscious moral principles which guide our thoughts and behavior
Mine is "play the game from the third person view point".
and- and, that's like... unhealthy man! You could make a couple rules and let's say you're a smoker and an alcoholic, the rules that you make... wouldn't necessarily make your life better, so it's just giving a sort of convenience to yourself. And, alot of people have told me my rules for life- on quora- although my 12 Rules for Life book has seen some positive reviews, so on quora, my answer has reached a very high amoun...
yeah tbh I don't even know wtf I was saying lmao. I was just trying to speak nonsense or literally anything, I just tried to have Jordan Peterson's type of dialogue.
@@ilikelobsters.2376 I had an aneurysm reading your comment...
@@salvationsc4803 bro relax. Im trying to be funny. I need the fake internet points.
“why the fuck are you smoking pot and watching motivational videos all day” had me so dead, but it’s unfortunately so true. i just smoke right when i get home from work and watch these videos and proceed to do nothing about my life. i appreciate the work you do.
I lost ten years of my life to End-Stage Renal failure. Just finally going back to college after receiving a transplant and your videos have been a guiding light. Thanks Dr. K.
"Addictive minds love complexity"
Factorio players: "Observe!"
With the sheer number of hours I've seen some people put into that game, I believe it. Its community nickname is Cracktorio for a reason.
The factory must grow
I'm scared of launching this game... and I still haven't launched the rocket once ✌🏻💀
It's still has a Creative mode. where you can Re-Spawn as many times as you want.
Change the RnG to your preference. Change which stage of progress in the game you want to spawn at.
@@movement2contact What, there's a rocket?
I got a drone army that can build a factory in a matter of second, a rail that could bring you from Paris to Beijing, an encyclopedia of blueprint to do literally anything, and far too much power to make it all work, why would i leave this world? MY world ?
There's so much more natural resource to steal and locals to kill, i can't leave now !
“Life is the ultimate sandbox”
Such a simple yet brilliant way to put it. Pretty much a way to rephrase, you are the leader of your own destiny.
I feel that along with entertainment, mental health will become one of the biggest points of focus, because as automation overtakes 70-75% of all jobs, and people eventually don't need to work (or only work voluntarily to make the world a better place), self work/care and personal development will become a huge part of most people's lives. Right now, most people don't have the luxury to stop the momentum of their life for long enough to step back and get some perspective on it or analyze it to see what could be changed for the better. Once this becomes the norm I think we'll see a paradigm shift where kindness and compassion overtake many of the old societal/cultural mainstays like fear and hate. Some might say that this is too optimistic, but the world as continually become a better and safer place every year, and I feel that these coming changes will push that into overdrive.
I think we'll need droves of people who are mental health experts because depression will continue to sky rocket. All those people who don't need to work? "They need to be entertained" said Dr. K. And one day after 6 straight months of netflix binging, online shopping, and games, they'll stop and think, "Is this all there is to life? Is this why I was born? To consume media and material goods? How utterly pointless."
I think this is also the reason some people are so vehemently against the idea of us not having to work anymore - at least, not the traditional way we are familiar with. I think many people are terrified of feeling their feelings and hearing their thoughts that the idea of having all of that free time scares them. Staying busy is big business for people afraid of their own inner worlds.
@@erynspeers I don't think it's that simple. Many people don't have much of an 'inner world' to begin with, so its not just a problem of avoiding discomfort through work. I don't know how long you expect people to just 'sit and feel feelings' but eventually, most will look for something to do. 'Work' is a big source of confidence, self-esteem, accomplishment, and a general sense of purpose for a lot of people. Sure, jobs are not the only place one can gain these feelings, but inner peace doesn't really provide a substitute either.
I think we are going to see a lot more small enterprises, precisely because, as said above, that after 6 months or so of watching netflix non-stop people are going to ask: what next? And with the free time people will start choosing: to learn, to create, to help build a better society, to grow a vegetable patch in the backyard for self sufficiency, etc. I think it will trigger a new age of enlightenment. New research, new artisanal skills, new art, more innovations, improvements in caring for others, and less stress can equal better mental health too.
This is why I love Dr. K. His advice is just “get good” 😂
Thank you! What you are doing is beautiful ❤
Damn. Can't believe Dr. K's doing this for us gamers.
We're an oppressed species, he helps our minds do better in all this oppression
@@dontmatter4423 yeah so opressed poor little gamers
@@wodidos gamers rise up
@@wodidos you're quite thick
"Beware of people who sell walkthroughs to sandbox games" is my new favorite phrase--
It encapsulates the truth to how the individual should NOT navigate the issues of this century perfectly
Hello Dr. K! Idk if you'd be able to read this, but I've been keeping in my mind for many weeks now since discovering your channel, how it takes approx. a year to start changing one's life. With all the nuances you constantly elaborate on across diff. topics, I never feel as though I should be careful about you being a potentially harmful "walkthrough seller". You yourself have amazing attributes and movesets, and I really cannot emphasize enough what an absolute gem it is to find an extremely competent therapist player who explains gameplay and mindset mechanics so well in this bizarre experience called Life. Your info logs really arranges things into perspective, and this is gonna sound weird but I can somewhat feel my brain reshuffling to make room for more courage and willpower. I wish for everyone else on here nothing but the best, and may your build bring you worthwhile XP and meaningful connections with other players.
He is right though, people do have to be careful when engaging with him in sell mode. Don't buy his HG courses if you think they will magically solve everything, don't sign up to coaching expecting something it's not.
"Beware the complexity of the mind. It is the refuge for addiction." That's a good one.
9:36 I am studying psychology in Uni because I want to understand people to be able to help them, but I have realised I am learning about myself at the same time, because if I don't understand myself I can't help someone else
I loved it when he said there are no rules. But for the memes AND the knowledge imma watch this.
The rules are fractal patterns; you need to choose the rule that matches the level of reality you are dealing with.
@@elektrotehnik94 your statement did not make sense to me.
I love the video games inuendos to actual real life stuff. It's honestly shocking how well Dr. K puts both real life and gaming together to make a point lol.
"I fall into this category myself". this is to me a proof that DR K. is to be trusted!👍
man I love how you do this in gamer language, this is brilliant, interesting to listen to, and really helpful
I cant believe someone is out here teaching life lessons and mental health. This feels relieving, this is a great teacher right here.. I never had things explained so clearly like the one teacher I had in high school lol LOVE THIS CHANNEL!
Wow, I like your version of this. Thanks for reminding us that there are things in life that are out of our control, and things that we can control too.
I feel you with the meta. I found comfort when the job hunt grind was depressing me. I started working on my art commissions more, and then patreon took off and i've slowly made a career out of it. I'd be in a worse place if I hadnt made some of these decisions
Rule 8. Dr. K, you are the first person that has summed up my addiction. I could never figure out the reason I'm constantly holding myself back
This felt like a squadron call before we go to war. Spot the enemy. Know your weaknesses, advantages, and disadvantages. Here are the ways to fight, overcome, and win. This was grounding and inspiring. Thank you.
Just found your channel about a week ago. "Content never expires" is really something I needed to hear
"There are Sephiroths out there"
Every time I feel fulfilled from working in the day: *One Winged Angel theme plays*
You are the final boss. That's gonna resonate with me. I've always thought, you yourself are the closest thing to a deity in your own life, since you can influence it the most directly. Are your choices limited by your environment? Absolutely. But you're the one in the driver seat, and if anyone is gonna get you out of that sandstorm or blizzard, you're topping the leaderboard. Doesn't mean you do it alone, or that you don't need outside help, but you do have to get that help. You do have to decide to take it when it's offered. You hold the controller even when you're watching a guide, and nobody else is gonna play it for you. So take the miracle of existence and do something, anything with it, because you're the only one who can.
These last few videos (the one about school shootings, misogyny and this one) are so good and give me a lot of hope for the future. I really appreciate Dr. K's work, his team and this community as a whole. 😊 Thank you everyone!
Those were all from the same stream and it was a great one. Dr K just went all out and didn't stutter once. It was just point after point after point.
I hope in the future one with the misandry topic, is as important as the misogyny one but much time encouraged, like: yas girl, yas queen, you go girl, teach them, men are trash, etc.
There are other topics I want him to touch, like the over luxury and over consuming or excess drive, but that one can be linked to addictions or addictive drives.
I was in my early 30s when I finally got my shit together. Quit my terrible call center job and started doing tier I tech support for a MSP. Quickly ended up as their junior sysadmin. Learned I have a knack for debugging software. Ended up going to night school to get a master's degree in business tech. Now I'm a business analyst working for a small software company, one of those jobs uniquely suited to ADHD brain since there's always some new challenge every day, but none of them are too much for me to handle.
i dont know why its so helpful to hear these concepts in video game analogies but it makes some stuff click in ways I've never really clicked before. Thank you!!
I wrote a huge wall of text expressing how important the timing of this video and of this channel is and has been for me but it got deleted :(
I just wanna say thank you.
I feel that you truly understand how our brains work. I feel that you give us hope by seeing in us unleashed potential and not just broken people. What you are doing is incredibly fucking valuable and I might just tear up a little bit.
I am at a turning point in my life. I'm 21. I did an exchange semester in a foreign country and decided to stay here and to drop out of college until I piece together the puzzle.
I am following right now CBT and getting help for the first time in my life. I am empowered. I am a Vata and it turns out that I just didn't know how tf to approach life projects, and I didn't have a healthy mindset to push me forward. I feel like that has changed greatly thanks to both CBT, your channel, Discord and videos, and thanks to myself.
I have progressed so damn much in the last couple of months it feels weird. It feels as if I am FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE truly awake. It's still confusing af and painful at times, don't get me wrong, but I know I am somehow awake to my bigger purpose in life, to my path.
I am very tired, and disappointed that my other comment got lost, but alas. It's also my birthday so this feels mega freaking cosmical and crazy and jesus f christ, i am somehow awake to my sense of higher purpose.
Thank you.
I would say to a degree spawn point can affect you co-op vs pvp options
What about solo? Adventure games, or quests, like RPG games
this post was written by the sociology gang
Definitely. A maslow’s hierarchy concern.
I'm not sure he is saying that spawn point has no effect on the options with in those groupings but you can still choose to focus on one or the other because not everyone in the world will be against you because of your starting point. A lot very well might be but there should also be people who can relate with that struggle or others who aren't affected by it but chose to do something about it anyways and you can play in pvp where you push these people away and just focus on getting yourself ahead over everything else or you can play co-op and work with these different people to achieve greater things. Like he said those bosses are out there and they are real obstacles but you have power in the agency of how to tackle them.
I agree i spawned in thr middle east region of the map and i dont even like pvp
Btw. that would be a cool idea to meet yourself as the finale boss in a Dark Souls. Through your entire walkthrough the AI is learning how you've been playing and creates a boss who fights like you.
I love this so much.
Did you play Dark Souls 3?
DS3 spoilers:
The last boss, Souls of Cinder, plays like different builds a player can choose in its first phase, kind of being an accumulation of all the players before you as well as you in the first game
@@darklord5554 when i first came across that boss, i thought it was impossible lol. took me about 4 days (with an hour of practice each day) to really understand the ai and win. Felt amazing
Thank you a million times over. I’ve been addicted to TH-cam for most of my life and watching this exact video marks the moment I stop procrastinating, get away from all of my addictions, and actually get good. Not in the future, in this present.
Just recently discovered Dr. K here on TH-cam through following Lyle the Therapy Gecko. Watching both of these guys has been helping me through some of the darkest, most painful times of my life. Just wanted to express my gratitude for all you do Dr. K. 🙏🏼
This is it. I’m starting to write and illustrate my comic book today! Thanks for the motivation Dr K. Taking the first step to exploiting the meta.
How are you now? Have you started?
@@cutiefox6455 wrote the entirely of the first issue need to get to illustrating
What about now?
Good luck friend. You're already one step ahead of me. I'm mired in so much self doubt and pain I can barely start
How about now :D
Rule #7 really called me out. I have been watching your videos for a while now, and I have been trying to cautiously diagnose myself when it came to my internet addiction, as well as why it’s more difficult for me to stop. I think I have been making excuses for myself by using neurology and past negative experiences as excuses. I have been doing exactly what you said about addictive minds. I saw my situation as complex. It really was the refuge for my brain. Rule #12 has me thinking a lot as well. Honestly, it’s really embarrassing to think about how much I have held myself back. I think I will come back to this comment in a year and let you know how I finally “got good.” (Or at least improved.) Thanks for the tips/rules. I’m going to share this with some other people who can really benefit front this video. I already sent it to one person while I was in the middle of listening. Cya in a year~ 👋🏻✨✌🏼
According to youtube it's been a year. How's it going? Have you gotten gud?
Those were the 2 more notable ones for me too, I've been holding myself back in such a stupid way right now, and thinking it's all so complex. It's almost silly to see it all this way
the 'gamer' references lowkey confuse me as someone who doesn't play, but this is the best thing that I have found in a long time.
No but the channel's name is literally HealthyGamer
Thanks!
I don't quickly agree with people.
But this guy knows what he is talking about.
Watching a HealthyGamerGG stream/video is like searching a tutorial for a quest you can't find the answer for, it saves time, and has good rewards when you proceed step-by-step
This is a FANTASTIC video, and I love that, though the advice is universal, it's worded in such a way that we gamers know EXACTLY what is meant, instantly. Sublime.
The simile for gearing up seems like such basic knowledge, but I hadn't conceptualized it until this video. Thanks Dr. K.
the fact that you can talk and it sounds like your talking to me directly is upsetting and also uplifting.
its nice to know I am not alone in hesitation, doubt, problems etc.
But also makes me feel bad I know the raid boss is me, and the options are endless and I stand paralyzed to pick so wind up getting wiped on repeat.
Good thing I got endless content and awhile before they shut off the server
the initial videos i watched of you were quite clear consise and specific but a lot of this is beyond me even though i am autistic have APD and insecure attachement all three and ahdonia you have now given me the courage to get rid of my pyschiatrist. i have been on my own for 44 years i have no family nothing worthwhile to pursue. the point on easy walk throughs i sused that out by watching some people who think they are trained in mental health and just like the sound of their own voice which is part of the barum theory one is born every second. i had a massive melt down a few days with a dispute with an electicity supplier and could see i still have LFT but i have had a massive breakthrough with taking essences for learning difficulties over the past few days. with this new mindset i willbe able to come out the rabbit hole of shame i am what i think your think i am.
“Whether you play the society well or not determines whether it’s trash or not”
Love that
I loved the video especially being your own raid boss but couldn’t you be successful though and still say society does a bad job as a whole?
@@Jordan64852 it’s subjective. Most people would say that the meta in the previous hundreds/thousands of years was trash (especially for some people) compared to today’s meta. It’s just a tough game for the most part unless you spawn with heirloom equipment.
I disagree with that point. Not everyone has the same chances to play the society well, not everyone can play the society well (at least not from a capitalist viewpoint). This is a contradiction to his first rule.
I understand that the point of this is that you'll probably like the society if you're successfull in it, but that doesn't mean the society really is good.
@@asdrt6405 I think we should not take this video too seriously. I think it's more of a fun video, and I find many of the rules he proposes really good. The contradictions are probably just an effect by the lack of work being put into this.
@@asdrt6405 he doesn't understand his first rule? Wtf does that mean? Stop pitying yourself so much, your spawn was probably as bad as everyone here but this shit is not going to help it
I really liked when he said that sometimes feelings are just feelings. It hits me hard. It makes me think about when I get assigned school work for example. It can be challenging, so I procrastinate because I feel like I don't know how to do it or feel like I'm already behind. In my case those are just feelings, and I have prooven again and again by completing my assignments that I am able to do them and that it doesn't matter if I haven't started working on a project in 2 weeks when it's due in 4.
The fact that my emotions can paralyze me makes things a whole lot worse. It takes energy to stop those emotions, and often times I don't have the energy to do that because of a pretty bad sleep schedule and well now I'm off topic and it's 1:30 am already... Oops.
Oof, I feel that. I also have a crap sleep schedule. Let’s both try to get better, yeah? I actually almost woke up early today after pulling an all-nighter the night before. Well, I did. I woke up at 9:30, felt great, journaled for one hour, started reading my Bible for 10 minutes before my cat found me in my bed, and then I proceeded to sleep for another hour and a half b/c of him. (He’s like a sleeping drug lol) I almost made it. I procrastinate horribly too. It’s not even funny. I literally turn things in at 11:59 pm even though there is no point in waiting that long.
My sister does the same thing. She has someone in her life that used to do what we did, but he finally pulled himself together after YEARS and realized how stupid it was to procrastinate in the first place. You are going to do it at some point, so just do it now so you can actually do what you love. Isn’t it funny how much we rob ourselves of happiness for no reason? Anyways, have a good night. and go to bed earlier! Sleep is great. OH- you should watch a video on what the different stages of sleep mean for your brain. It’s really interesting and it puts more gravity on the importance of sleep. ALSO, did you know that if you spend 2 hours a day on your phone (every single day for the year) you have actually spent an ENTIRE MONTH on your phone? Yeah- feels bad. I’m going to stop procrastinating now. Okbye
@@kikipeaches2876 haha yeah, and look! Sometimes it feels so nice to vent out in the comments on Dr.K's videos because there's always someone that understands and actually talks in a helpful way, example: you. Btw thank you, I did sleep well but no matter how good the sleep was I'm soo so sore from the gym (lmao)
Though yeah it really sucks to procrastinate, and good on that guy for pulling it together, much respect. And I agree, it is kinda funny how much we can rob ourselves of happiness for no reason.
I remember watching a yt video on sleep some time ago, can't remember when and yt videos don't really stay fresh in my memory more than an hour :(
I'll go look it up though, thanks for the suggestion!
Dr K: "life is a sandbox game, its not supposed to be anything"
Also Dr K: "LIFE IS AN RPG AND YOU MESSED UP YOUR BUILD"
me: " :( "
See rule 7
I mean if you have a low IQ, you're pretty boned. Hope you have high trait contentiousness
Ever seen Sword art online? Awful story, but the concept is very very similar to what life is, only it's fantasy. There are floors you need to clear to move on in life; school, finding purpose, financial struggles, mental anguish.
With a good "raid guild" you're able to play the sandbox game in the most effective and happy way possible. Without a good raid guild, that's impossible, because you'll be stomped by the raid bosses.
just respec then dude :D
Feel what he meant, Dont focus on smaller thing.
Sometimes you could see life as a sandbox, meaning, you can shape it to your liking
Sometimes you could see life as rpg, meaning you can build, you can choose your job, you can choose what you do. etc
Nothing is 100% wrong or right.
"Beware the complexity of the addicted mind". Wow that really provided me some insight, thank you
Will have to save this and return more than once for sure - , It’s easier said than done but still very much appreciate the clarity of the message Dr K.✨🙏
thanks
saved it to my "walk" playlist to listen to walking outdoors or watch at the gym on treadmill with my tablet
Okay
2 (what life is supposed to be) and 5 (clock is ticking) are gold. Throw everyone else’s expectations out the the window. Pursue ur own. Unfortunately we spend a lot of time shaping ppl’s expectations. Especially from age 6-18/22. Also. Everyone needs a reminder. The clock is ticking. Plan, execute, reassess, execute.
This video really resonated with me, the second half of rule 12 made me cry like a baby lolll
Thank you! Like you said at the beginning, there's not a single guide to life. That being said, I think this is great advice and very valuable concepts to think about.
14:08 for rule #11 specifically I'd like to recommend A Whole New Mind by Daniel H Pink. It resonates and makes incredible sense with DrK POV. It elaborate how we progress from the information era to conceptual era (our current societal Meta) in which, human thrive for higher mental emotional needs of entertainment sympathy authenticity philosophical meaning, cheaper labour outsourcing overseas in Southeast Asia outside the US, more and more works got replaced by automation machine learning chatGPT. To survive, there're 6 adaptable principles and practices based on human psychology, including
1. Design and Aesthetic, over function
2. Story telling, over argument
3. Symphony over specialization
4. Empathy over logic
5. Playfulness over seriousness
6. Meaning over accumulation
I know you were semi meming with this Video. But believe you me for all the Gamers out there this is GOLD, you literally put it in a gaming concept and when it comes to that we understand very well and it just makes so much sense from this different perspective that we all can understand. Sometimes simplifying this complex life is really all it takes.
Great video! I love how you break down these principles in an easily digestible way. Rule 8 really stuck out to me and is something often on my mind. I’m a relatively new psychotherapist and have been realizing more and more that certain lifestyle things that worked in my twenties/previous jobs with less responsibility (staying up late gaming, smoking weed a few times a week, eating terribly, etc.) just aren’t going to work anymore. I need to walk the path myself if I’m going to help clients do the same, and you talking about that really resonated with me.
This is soooo good life advice! Absolute gem!
This lecture is worth digital gold! I resonate totally with the terminology. Brilliant analogy
I'm not a gamer at all but I spend a lot of time on the phone/computer so I can relate to some of your videos, I have issues with mental health and get disciplined and motivated.
I hope you realize you really help some people. You help me to try to fix myself, I see a therapist and your videos are kind of a bonus to work more on myself, get ideas etc
Thank you for your work, see ya 🙋♂️
I already realised it, but now it's put into words. I have to leave my gaming raidguild and most of my guildies for the sake of my own health.
I am absolutely not a gamer (x stardew valley) but your content is So helpful as a support in how to approach life. Thanks for explaining so well.
So true! All of this, but especially the careers out there that us with ADHD can excel with! Super grateful that I rediscovered my passion in Tech which led to my passion for Cybersecurity
I keep being amazed at how well this gaming analogy keeps working. Every time dr K says something and compares it to a game feature, I'm like: yes, exactly!
08:16 Is the funniest line in this video and I haven't even finished it. I got Agro'd
I love it when my notification for this guy's videos rings.
I stumbled accidentally on your videos yesterday, but I already like the way you present things. Individual responsibility, and down to earth. Well put and noice.
"stop smoking weed, and watching motivation videos" got me in the jugular doc, will do!
One of the better videos you've done. I quit pot a week ago because of you. I quit nicotine 5 days ago. I drank my first cup of coffee in 5 days after being completely straight edge. I'm using my meds as a tool instead of relying on them. Getting good starts with getting better.
This is actually great advice.
I am a software engineer and ADHD actually does come in quite useful in my job because at any time I can be moved to a different project or asked to implement some tech I have never heard of before. So a constantly shifting focus is often required for this job
Side note, YES everything will be automated. No job is secure! I couldn't agree more that entertainment is truly the only safe job path going forward!!! Learn to entertain people and make money from it as soon as you can.
I think there is something to be said for brain plasticity during certain windows, like how kids need to learn language at a certain time (kids raised by wolves are never able to master language in the way kids raised by humans do) and the relevance of information depending on the times.
There's also a point to be made about young people are more able to master skills because it's likely that they are otherwise supported through life. They don't need to pay bills or keep a house or take care of anyone, so they can hyperfocus on what interests them and grow quickly because of it.
I'd love to be more fluent at Japanese, learn how to make digital art, become a good streamer, etc, but holy shit I have chronic health issues and if I don't have insurance I'll lose all my savings in a flash. I have to work 8 hours a day doing shit I don't necessarily like, make sure my house is clean, cook for myself, etc. I have so many fucks to give, and it's rare for me to finish a day of work and feel like I have anything left for anything other than playing games I already know how to play.
So I think he's right about content not changing, but your ability to absorb and act on said content, and the actual time you have to spend on it certainly does.
Did you ever try listening to Japanese drama CDs? Listen to them over and over again, until you finally can understand every single word of it. Doesn't have to take energy, you just use them for immersion. To get used to hearing the language. And let your subconscious do the job of sorting it out. I have a brother whovs able to speak simple Japanese, grammatically, just because he watched that mutch anime. His brain just somehow figured out the rules without his conscious effort.
@@gadnihasj I've taken several semesters of Japanese in my 20's, so I can read hiragana/katakana and I probably know about 200-300 kanji, so I've got that foundation already. I could do better at conjugation and sentence formation. I'm basically at the point where you could drop me in Japan and I could do okay, but I wish I could be conversational.
I've found that playing text-heavy games with full voice acting (like datesims or rpgs) gets me to learn the fastest outside of actual lessons. I can match the text with what I'm hearing with context, and use something like google translate on my phone to puzzle out the words and kanji I don't know. But it's still an uphill struggle.
Another thing about world bosses: they still aren't defeated through individual efforts alone.
If forty people try to kill, say, a dragon each on their own, they can throw themselves at the thing a thousand times and make not a single scratch, and the dragon will flatten the thousand-first attacker just as easily.
But if a raid of the same forty comes together, formulates its tactics, makes sure they've got all the right skills between them and the necessary supplies, in short, organizes, well, then the dragon might just go down.
This. Just because you can't beat it with 40 pubbies without a mic it does not mean you can't found a guild or join one and put your share of the work into the concerted effort.
You mean we arent supposed to be yoloing world bosses?
Dr K, I just gotta say I've been watching a ton of your videos and It's made me realize the damage Ive been putting on myself this whole time, and realizing a lot of stuff about me and my past and I just gottaa say thank you man, my mind is focused on my goal and I feel so much clearer and happier, thank you for what you do
It's You vs You. Always has been. What an amazing video, I love the analogy to games, I can relate very well. Thanks Dr. K!
You probably can't fix the world, but you can earn self-respect being a good, useful and contributing person. Helping others and being useful gives you a sense of value. Hard work, a sense of responsibility and working on yourself earns self-respect. Learning your true nature, reflecting and truly accepting yourself, and self-care practises leads to self-love. Letting go of expectations and practising gratitude leads to contentment, even happiness. A life mission and integrity of your values gives you a sense of belonging.
Life is too complex to be reduced to a set of rules that can be gamed. So happy that you said the same.
I love how everyone just knows what you mean if you say ''here in my garage''
I have had the most depressing and hopeless feeling I ever felt in a long while when we got to the point of "you don't get to respawn"
Wow. I was driving on my way to work and I don't think I have felt such a raw sense of my own mortality before. I was truly exhausted for like an hour.
I feel better now because I reoriented and clung back to my faith but still wow it was an experience...
Agreed, I'm not even a gamer but that line hit me especially hard for some reason
Huh, I think it would be like that for others that don't use memento mori as a constant mantra. But for me memento mori also means that I value my life A LOT and I am willing to do a lot of things to prolong and maintain it as good as possible.
If you think about it it's a great thing you don't relive unhappy moments again & again
The content doesn't expire - it's my favourite rule of this list.
I was wondering lately whether I could actually become proficient in writing since I'm already 26. I was beginning to learn the craft several years ago, but for the last two years I have put things on hold. I'm trying to learn the ropes again. But being new at 23-24 does not feel the same as being new at 26, you know.
10:50 my dad ... oofh that makes me so sad. i've tried to break throug hhis 67 years of coping mechanisms but I don't think I believe he will ever see a way out. he doesn't even want to acknowledge his weaknesses.