Do you identify as non binary? Chase: *car screech sound*😆🌈 Me as an individual that used to identify as gender queer and now identifies as trans masculine: I relate to this whole video
similar case here... when I first came out, I came out as bigender. but then I got more and more comfortable with being binary trans male. but just like Chase, I feel like I'm like... halfway between the middle and the "male" side. but again, like Chase, I'm going through a medical transition because that's what I want. the other thing... sincerely, I avoid the word not because I think it's a bad thing but because I'm scared of gatekeeping. If my doctors know I'm not like "100% manlimandudebromasculine" I'm scared they'll deny me treatment or call me a transtrender. I'd use the word if it weren't for stigma.
"I'm not non-binary, I'm not binary" I feel so validated! That's how I feel! I have been questioning my gender for SO long and had an epiphany when you said that. Thank you for unintentionally putting how I feel into words ❤
in my heart i'm nonbinary but on the streets i settle for androgynous since my language doesn't have neutral pronouns and i live in an extremely transphobic country. videos like this are so validating and interesting and i wish i could have these conversations myself. you two consistently make me feel less lonely and weird, thank you!
What country do live in? Im really sorry you have to deal with that. I am in America where it's starting to be more widely accepted. I'm sure there is still a long way to go. I have gay friends and family and I'm totally accepting of them. Of course I just want them to be happy. They still encounter hate and negativity and that hurts me that they can't be themselves. I came to TH-cam to learn more about the gay community. I typically like to believe I'm open minded and this channel has certainly opened my mind to an entire world I never knew existed. I never realized how much I didn't know about humans. I'm very grateful for this channel so I can be more understanding of my family and friends. I always try to be understanding of other people and what they go through. After watching many videos on this channel (and ultimately others) I realized I was unintentionally not being very understanding. So I'm extremely grateful for Chase as well! I truly hope one day you can live as yourself without fear. 😪
I identified as genderfluid for a while before I was comfortable with calling myself trans (not saying being genderfluid is a phase) and I'm still feeling like there is something in me that is not 100% binary but saying I'm a trans guy feels a lot more comfortable for me. Like Chase said, it's not because of stigma or anything, it's just a word that feels right
As a cis woman it's hard for me to understand all this, how you guys feel, and all the nuances with all those different words. What I get from watching your channel, is simply this (as you said a few times): you do you. And I'll address to you the way you want to. As simple as that! I don't need to 100% understand (how could I, I'm not in your shoes, and never went through these identity questions myself). But watching these kind of videos just helps me remind myself that a lot of different people exist, everyone is valid, and all we need is respect for each other :)
please don't take what Ash says as relevant to the trans community. They do NOT represent me or how I experience being trans personally. And I know A LOT of others who strongly disagree with Ash.
I identify as a non binary trans boy because I feel totally gender neutral but I'm confortable with being seen as a boy. I use male pronouns in French and am out as a trans boy. I started by identifying as non binary and then more and more trans guy because that's my everyday experience even tho that's not my gender feeling. I'd say I would not be confortable being considered as just non binary because I don't want people to think I'm as far/close to be a woman than to be a man. I'm not. (I know non binary doesn't mean that but other people think of it as neither or both male and female most of the time, and that's absolutely not what I'm living)
Just a question, because I feel sooo much like this, would you advise me to come out as a binary trans guy or a Nonbinary person or just tell the whole story about the mixed feelings (for me it shifts a bit)?
I would say it depends on what matters to you. When I do like administration things I just say I'm a trans guy because I don't care about my feelings I just want you have papers and stuff. once people that I'm not particularly close to like classmates or things like that I even say that I am a trans guy because it's easier. and see people that are close to me with which I feel that it's important to show my feelings I can say the whole things if I feel like. I would say it depends on if telling your exact feeling to somebody is important and if you feel safe to do so.
Me too. I'm non binary and nobody "turned me non binary." I just...am non binary. I've been watching Ash's videos for over a year now and that's just their sense of humor, but the way that they said that made me cringe. This kind of language is hurting us and making it seem like we were brainwashed or pressured somehow. I don't know a single trans person that is trans because somebody else pressured them to be. Hopefully people won't take it that way :(
I’m just gunna leave this here to see what others think: Unpopular opinion : gender is not a social construct However!!!!! Gender ROLES are social constructs
I agree that gender roles are a social contruct, but the concept of gender to me is also a construct. Society uses it as a way of seperating people into certain categories. We aren't born with an innate sense of "I'm a boy" or "I'm a girl", we learn those things from gender roles and because people conflate gender with sex.
I believe we consider gender to be a social construct because gender is not just black and white, it's not just boy and girl. There are many identities on the gender spectrum and you can identify as neither a boy nor a girl. We've come to a point where gender identity is more defining than biological sex. It's just that society is not nearly as progressed.
Kadomex I agree gender is not back and white, but I think that we have an innate sense of our own gender which is what causes gender dysphoria, which means that gender is not a social construct.
@@andreidrodz1026 You clearly are a sad troll with nothing better to do with your life than berate happy people online. Find a hobby sweetie, there's many of them :)
The way Chase described holding space for nonbinary identity in the future is kinda how I feel about potentially about identifying as a Demiguy or a nonbinary trans guy.
I would like to see a genuine debate with a FTM or MTF person who doesn’t agree with all these gender against a nonbinary person. Because I’m so stuck in the middle I’m having the hardest time understand what this is.
Chase I love how non-judgementally you can analyse your own thoughts. Looking at yourself as a dynamic being who's identity is made up of past experience as well as how you feel inside is awesome, raw and just straight up real.
My boyfriend is technically pansexual and when I brought it up he was just like "meh. Imma stick with bi." so after that I thought about it a lot because as a panromantic asexual/greysexual I've never felt comfortable but I had stuck with it bc _technically_ that's what I am. And now I just consider myself as a bisexual person with a flexible sex drive. And I'm really pissed off at expectations towards binary gender expression but regarding *my own* gender expression I just _can't_ think of it as anything but binary. So I'm a trans man and I struggle with masculine gender expression a lot because even though I am masculine WAY MORE than feminine and _theoretically_ feel comfortable with both sides... I sometimes get annoyed about my feminine tendencies. And I'm working hard to turn that off because it's *_BS_* in every aspect.
Umber Moore bisexual is liking someone of both sexes and pansexual is liking people for personality not gender or looks :) be careful who you say that to because some people can get very offended when someone says that. Hope I explained that in a way you could understand
This is almost exactly me. I originally identified as 'gender neutral' (so non binary) but as I started binding and doing 'trans male' stuff I just went to male. I currently say male-ish or trans-masculine, but I feel weird with the term non-binary for myself (again not because I see it as bad, literally all my other irl trans friends are enby) as a singular label, though I will use it as a tool to help describe my gender in more detail. Possibly because I only feel comfortable with male pronouns (they/them is okay at a push but please don't try to use hey/them, it just doesn't fit me). Thank you for talking about this, it makes me feel much more valid as someone who has always said 'I'm not non-binary, but I'm not binary'.
We need more people like Chase. I’m starting on T in a few months, but have been feeling really discouraged after starting to watch some Trans Male youtubers. Videos like ‘trans trender’ and things along those lines make me really neverous about being a more feminine trans guy. But Chase’s explanation of not bianary feels just so comforting and so right. He makes me feel like whatever I choose and whoever I am moment to moment is okay. I can’t thank him enough for being so positive about gender and personal choice.
You are putting your life in the hands of someone with pink hair and a flaky personality? Surely you can find more solid role models than that. Or indeed, follow your own idea of who you are. Why go on testosterone when you can be perfectly ok as you are?
My issue is that there's false ideas about what pan and bi mean. I worry about saying bi in case people think that that means I don't like people who aren't binary or are trans. So idk what to say :p "I like em all"
Thank you for having this conversation. I recently discovered that I'm NB/Genderfluid in the sense that I flow from binary "woman" to NB "whatever, just Bobbie". I've been in my head and invalidating myself because I still identify as a girl or "chick" or whatever. And refer to myself as a woman and love being referred to as such. So chase explaining how he's a not binary guy, made me feel so much better. I love you both so much. You guys have helped me a ton in my gender and sexuality journey!!! (Sorry for the book)
Its hard for me sometimes, bc sometimes I experience chest dysphoria and sometimes I don't (I'm AFAB), and in those times that I don't, I feel like a fraud. I plan on buying a binder but I'm kind of afraid ill either end up never using it or seem to fake? bc, i don't necessarily identify as trans or as cis? and I have no intention of asking to use different pronouns bc I usually don't care what people use ( though it does feel kinda awesome to be mistaken as a dude, again I'm still complacent in being seen as a "girl"). I really wish i could be on some binary instead of this grey- area i feel like. Does anyone else feel like this or similarly?
UltraOriginalVoid hey! Gender is really frickin confusing, but just know that you’re valid as a trans person (if you chose to adopt that label) as someone with a nonbinary or non binary gender
Listen, dysphoria is very individualised to each person and sometimes comes and goes. I get the feeling like a fraud thing but if you feel dysphoria then I think those feelings shouldn't be ignored.
This was such fun to watch, please continue making collaborations. With my identity and the words I use to describe my gender, it feels some things are lost in translation. The youtube lgbtq+ community is in English and for a long time information on trans people was not available in my mother tongue which made it hard to find the terms for myself. But of late I've felt comfortable with the word 'muunsukupuolinen' which means 'other gender'. That word has some similarity to non-binary but isn't the exact equivalent. Ash, your book has been a great help in learning about different genders and also a confusing read. Chase, I don't remember why I started following your channel (I guess some part of me has for long known I'm trans) but you are truly a great inspiration.
This is a lot how I feel, expect the other way around. I identify strongly with being transfeminine and take pride in being a trans girl, and I feel like there's strength in claiming the feminity I didn't get to live and enjoy before I started transitioning. In reality I fluctuate a lot between like, feeling like a binary trans and feeling non-binary. The latter is not something I identify very strongly with, so I just call myself a trans girl and leave it at that, even if technically I'd be genderfluid/NB. Maybe one day I'll identify with that part of me more (which I already kinda do with how I present myself to the world sometimes), but for now I'm satisfied just identifying as a binary tran.
I love this so much. Thank you both for making this video, it means so much more than you even realize. What Ash said about bisexuality versus pansexuality really hit home. I realized I am bisexual when I was 12 or 13, and I am 21 now and still get people, even people I don't know, telling me I /need/ to identify as pansexual because of how I explain my sexuality. But I just feel so much more comfortable identifying as bisexual as I always have, and it's /my/ label. I also came to realize here recently that I might be demisexual, so I have been trying out the label "demibisexual". But I've had so much trouble with the fact that I'm worried that I don't belong in the asexual community because until the past couple of years I never really considered that I was demisexual and I always had this misinformed idea of what asexuality was. I didn't realize for the longest time that it's on a spectrum. And even though I've talked to several people who are in the asexual community, one being someone who is demisexual themselves, I still keep hearing a nagging voice in my head telling me that I can never belong because I'm not "asexual enough" and that I'm too allosexual. Even though I have described how I feel to a few different people and they have all told me that it sounds straight-up like demisexuality and that I'm allowed to identify however I feel comfortable, I am still scared. But the label feels right to me, and I am still coming to terms with it. And this really helped a lot in that aspect as well because of the part where you guys explained that someone can identify however feels right for them. Thank you for being such great people
Um...This video is solid gold. Thanks for touching on a subject close to home! I like the not binary description. I also love the ideal of you do you and don't let people tell you or define who you are!
Hey Chase- this makes so much sense. I’m not sure if this also applies but, identifying as a certain way for a long time, it’s scary coming into a new identity or “label”. And some people in the community get all weird when people change their labels or whatever forgetting that we all evolve. Sending you lots of love!
Chase, I feel a lot like you. I feel like I'm totally male, but "soft" male. I'm a boy. And knowing you feel the way you do, but you are fully transitioned/transitioning and happy, gives me a lot of confidence to pursue my own transition where I might have been too scared. 7 months on T and I have fear for the future, but right now I am the happiest I have ever been. Thank you for being you and putting yourself out there for all of us.
You know when you get this overwhelming happiness that certain people exist? well my day has been full of that today, and you both have been a part of it! Thank you very much for sharing your self-ness with all of us. Sending you nothing but love and support with all my heart.
So, basically, you don't really use the term to describe yourself because it bears no relation to your personal self discovery journey? That's completely ok tbh.
yo wtf this is exactly how i've always seen my gender in my head like the whole line imagry and everything omg. i'm so glad there's another person who feels the same way expressing this identity on the internet. i'm still exploring how to identify myself as a trans masc/ nb person so this has really helped, thank you.
this video was so good for me. for the past year I've been in a constant state of struggling with my identity. this video put so much into words that I'm not sure I could've done on my own. I feel this so much and it feels good to know that I CAN actually feel this way. like in a sense its revealing that I'm "allowed" to identify like this. not exactly the same of course, every ones identity is different, but mine is defiantly similar. thank you so much your content has been so helpful to me.
Hey chase! I am an afab non binary person and I see myself on an ordinary day as being in the middle of your line example, and then on other days I lean towards “feminine” things some days, but I view my body and my presentation as just middle, I am hoping to get a binder so I can more easily present “masculinely” which I’m excited to try because I have a very “feminine” upper body
I am a full blown female that loves dresses and shorts, video games and makeup, shoes and Pokémon cards, listen to rnb and rock.. but I am just a girl, that likes and wears masculine and female things. But I still am. a. girl.
Auntie Christ the thing is I don’t though.. that’s my point. I can’t stand all this they/them, it, non binary... or what ever stuff. For me there are males and females that can do what ever they want and wear what ever they want.. not into this whole there are 300 genders thing that’s going on..
Macy Gurden I mean that you get reality, lol. And I agree. People should just be allowed to do their own thing. Coming up with new gender identities is regressive and a waste of time. Good on you for seeing through it all.
But that's how you feel. If they felt that way, they wouldn't feel a need to express that they identify/ feel/ experience something different. They'd say the same thing you're saying if their experience was the same as yours - but it isn't. The only way that I've come to understand is by listening -- you can't understand someone else's perspective through your own, because they're not the same. They're literally not experiencing the same thing you are in relation to your gender. They're not doing it to complicate things.
Chase, I am so with you on this!! The way you explained where you on on the "binary gender spectrum" (if that's even a thing), is *exactly* how I explained it to my therapist! I even used the same hand gestures and everything. Logically I'm supportive of everything non-binary, but I don't like the term for myself. The technical term for my identity is "bigender," but I don't like that one either. So, I'm sticking with genderqueer. Your videos, out of all the FtM Transguys on TH-cam, helped me the most in coming to terms with my identity and gave me the courage to transition, after living 46 years of my life as a "tomboy" female. When I first was aware of the possibility to transition, it didn't quite resonate with me beause so many transguys are straight, while I've always been only attracted to men. It took me a long time to realize that sexuality and gender identity have nothing to do with each other, and that my many years of joking "I'm a gay man stuck in a woman's body!" was actually my truth. It wasn't a joke at all. It's literally who I am. A gay, genderqueer, transguy. :)
Oh my God, you literally just described my gender. Slightly on the male side of centre, not non-binary as such, but not binary either. If someone were to ask me what label I identify as, I'd even make the same noise you made for the "are you non-binary" question. An "eeeehhh..." sound coupled with a shrug. Long live the squiggles!
Gah! YES! so much of this makes sense! The middle of the middle of the middle. I watch a lot of both of your videos and it's like having a conversation.
Labels. You nailed it. All these impressionable young teenagers getting pressured to adopt made up labels just as they reach the identity stage of development.
Thanks, Chase. I'm someone who has felt like a trans-man for 12 or more years but because I'm also non-binary-tending, I tend to deny my own trans-ness, because of the rejection of binary labels, and have never tried to transition. So thanks again for your perspective.
i think the fact that its completely okay to explore and figure things out for yourself as a person is completely lost nowadays and i really appreciate the fact that in the end: you do you.
I love this video. I love seeing how you describe your identity and why and what that means to you, and it’s great seeing you both talk about Nb and what that can mean to other people
I was trying to explain my gender to my cishet math nerd friend and I did do the line but I am off somewhere over there thing. And he was immediately like "oh! So your gender is on the complex plane :) ". So thanks math, that is exactly it!
It's very cool, I love that line, but on the complex plane means that part of your gender is not real but only imaginary. You fine with that description?
Lux Aeterna imaginary numbers exist, though. They’re just imaginary because we have a difficult time visualizing them. And you don’t get taught about them until higher math. So, kinda like how a lot of people see Nb identities
What lovely humans. Have never wavered in my identity as binary, but I can understand the fluidity at the same time. Idk, great vid. So well spoken y'all.
The discussion about community and bi vs. pan is so relevant to me. I know that a big part of why I identify moreso as bi is because when I was first acknowledging/understanding my attraction to multiple genders, I had never heard of pansexuality. When I recently went to Pride, I saw a lot of pansexual flags, and it kinda shifted my perspective. Also so here for binary vs. non-binary being not a clear cut binary that everyone fits!
This is seriously helping because I’m “technically under the non binary umbrella” but I feel like I’m a trans boy but when I think of my gender I’m half way to the male side This video is helping me get comfortable with myself
I absolutely adore you both! I think it’s important to have a voice speaking to those trying to figure out their identity. Be that gender, expression, or anything else that has to do with becoming your best self. I so appreciate the safe space you’ve created and I look forward to your videos! Peace
This I consider to be such a helpful representation, I feel like our gender identities are quite similiar and thanks to you it appears I could transition, which is calming to me (as someone who is pre-everything and scared to transition).
Thank you! This helps me a lot, because I'm in kind of the exact opposite situation, but this still applies. I'm a nonbinary girl who doesnt identify with the word trans, and seeing this sort of thing is so helpful!
I absolutely love my friends, we live in a conservative area but we are all very open and lgbtq+ competent. I am pansexual and a trans man, one of my friends is a straight trans man, another is a non binary bisexual individual, one is an asexual trans feminine person, and my girlfriend is a pansexual cis female. I love having such diverse people around me and being able to learn from each other and encourage each other to grow and be who you are. And we all love you Chase!
I’m irritated because one of the things youtube is demonetizing videos over is language and the ad I got on this video, for flesh beauty, had a song with multiple curse words. Anyway very good video, love y’all
I'm pansexual and I used pansexual because when I was confused af as a thirteen year old i came across pan and it fitted me perfectly and still feels right in my head for years I didn't know there was a stigma about bisexuality or pansexuality because I wasn't in and queer spaces online or irl so thats the label that sticks to me and the meaning just fits me 100% I love and respect bi pan and queer identities no one should tell someone how to identify
Ahhh I feel so much of this! I was identifying as gender-fluid/non-binary for a few years before ultimately realizing that I was a trans man. My gender expression doesn't conventionally match my gender identity so that made it difficult for me to realize myself. Right now I identify as a gender non-conforming trans man, but when I came out a few months ago, I put together a 6 minute video on my channel here explaining my gender identity and how I relate with femininity and that video actually touches on a lot of the things mentioned here! I did a lot of research while writing the script and I have had truscum come at me for how I relate. I still feel true to what I said in that video, but it is affirming to see that attitude here as well.
I know. When I was figuring everything out my “friend” told my brother that I was gay. Then my parents found out. Fml. Now I realize that technically I’m pan. But I don’t really like the label. If I am using one I use bi just because people understand it more, but would rather use queer or even nothing. Idk
I see so much anxiety because peeps are trying identify with the labels prior to understanding who ‘me’ is. Once I know me then others can worry how to describe me... unless I wanna troll on someone and then I’ll use a label to get an army
Aaargh I love this video so muuuuuch! I first came out (when I was a really OLD 29yrsold) as genderqueer but I eventually realised that I'm actually a trans guy but I've had so many experiences living "as a woman" and just generally a connection to gender that's not wholly masculine that I don't feel like a binary guy so now I've settled on nonbinary trans man if I have to define myself (or just queer man) and IT'S SO GOOD TO HEAR SOMEONE ELSE TALK ABOUT THIS THAAAANK YOOOUUUU! *finally remembers to breathe*
The whole hand gestures thing is EXACTLY what I do for myself! I flip between the middle of the middle (toward male) and the middle of the middle of the middle. I happen to identify as a nonbinary trans guy. I could use plenty of other terms to describe myself but those are the terms I like. It is really good to see another person's experience so similar to mine even though our paths were not the same, and neither were the resulting identities!
To my darling favourite youtubers. Yes. Yes yes yes. Yes. I think one of the crazy important things about growing up is also realising that it’s ok to not know where you fit. Having just come out as enby, I don’t actually know what label best fits my sexuality with out it being a mouthful, so I’ve stopped questioning it and decided I don’t have one (not that I’m asecual but that none of the various labels really fit)
Jo Hammer I think the closest I’ve found would be something like pansexual. I’m also demisexual (I think) and prefer women, romantically speaking. To get it really on the head it’s a heck of a mouthful, so I tend to just leave it out. It’s not an important part of my identity, to me. I do sometimes give myself the easy ‘queer’ label too. But ultimately, I’m just a me, attracted to folks occasionally.
Jo Hammer but in all honesty, I’m ok with not having a single label that I’m comfortable with. It’s kind of weirdly freeing. Like I don’t have to fit to some kind of uniform thing.
Jo Hammer yep. Hence why I just sort of gave up. It was like taking (Scuse the clunky imagery) a bra/binder off after having it on for ages. The only person that needs know my preference is me, and perhaps my partners.
Jo Hammer yeah, I don't want to be a bully, but it does baffle me that there are youtube channels dedicated to talking about this stuff.. I think that it may be possible that they are feeling normal human emotions.. Or are gay/bi.. My sister was a major tomboy when she was younger, cut her hair off, played on an all boys baseball team.. She isn't trans though.. she just liked that kind of stuff.. Now she is 30 and embraces more of her feminine side. She never felt the need to create a label for herself and get those around her to treat her extra special.. These people, in my opinion, focus way too much on their gender identity, and being different. I feel like it is all pretty narcissistic. When you spend a good portion of your free time deciding what label you fall under and how you want your peers to address you. I am pretty liberal, but this gets under my skin a bit.
There’s nothing stopping either of you making your own stuff (I’m not sure if you do) I’d say that neither Ash nor Chase are confused (I mean I don’t know them personally but their content implies otherwise to me). Nor am I for that matter. But even if they are, it’s sometimes reassuring to see. For me, I like seeing the humanity in the people that I look up to. It makes them more real, and as a result more approachable. If you don’t like it, or feel it’s inappropriate somehow, you don’t actually have to watch it. Also, I’m not sure who you’re referring to having narcissistic tendencies? People who question their gender? That’s a huge leap to take when you don’t know people or their situation. If your gender identity is clear cut and your sexuality similar, then I applaud you. You’ve possibly had it easier than some in a lot of senses. A lot of my own confusion when I was younger actually stemmed from internalised phobias as a result of growing up in a small town where folks are largely conservative and I just didn’t fit their models. I’m also not sure what you mean by people in the gender industry? If you mean that they’re making money from being trans (in Ash and Chase’s cases) then I don’t grudge them that. They’re merely trying to be the voice they needed to hear when they were troubled. Please understand that I’m not trying to fight here, but more unsure of what you’re saying. However, I stand by what I say with doing your own channels. Be the voice you think others might need to hear.
I'm so glad you made this video because this is how I feel about my gender but kind of the opposite. In the middle but a smidge closer to female. I'm not cis, I'm not trans, I'm technically non-binary but it just doesn't click in my head with that word. I like with words like boi and dude and woman, but I don't want to label my gender.
I really appreciate how open minded and thoughtful you are! I think however you want to identify is valid, whether you're a trans guy or nonbinary or a nonbinary trans guy, it's up to you and I love that you're owning your identity! Also hi Ash I love you.
As a confused teenager sitting alone in my room, this video made a lot of sense to me. I'm not sure that I'm non-binary, but I know I'm not binary. I feel more masculine than anything else. Idk, it's so complicated but it helps a lot to hear someone else explain it.
as someone who is non-binary but also calls themselves a trans man and uses he pronouns (on top of they) I love this video! So many people criticize me for identifying as both non-binary as well as a trans man telling me I can't possibly be both. I knew I was non-binary in like high school and later realized that I was also a trans man through your videos Chase and right now in my life I am very comfortable with my body, who I am, and how I identify.
Ash is so sweet. Too sweet maybe 😅 I totally get where the argument is coming from, like, your identity is YOURS with whatever words you want to use. I do think, though, definitions ARE important because that’s how we make sense of the world. What we need to do is teach kids that they don’t need to fit within one description. But I do think it matters, these definitions are part of people’s identities, especially when they’re lost. We just need to be open and accepting and let everyone find their way. I think a lot of the need of this narrative you guys are presenting comes from the own other-than-binary communities that sometimes just like to hate on each other (more than binary people can!) and it’s important to abolish that.
Hi Chase, this is the first video of yours I've ever seen (came from Ash's channel). I legit thought you were born male. It wasn't until you talked about bottom surgery I was like "Wait a minute..." I also think it's really cool that you don't feel like you have all the answers yet in regards to identity and just admit it. People evolve ALL the time (well, most people) and it's a sign of intelligence to acknowledge that you don't know where you are in a couple of years from now. Nobody does!
this is literally how ive felt for so long and never had a way to describe it until you did. ive always put pressure on myself to feel 100% feminine because i feel such a strong connection to identifying as a lesbian. i dont feel non-binary but i also dont feel like i fit with being female completely either
![FEAR OF TRANSITIONING [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/TfpPldcFfUQ/mqdefault.jpg)
The middle of the middle of the middle
NoahFinnce of the middle of the middle of the middle of the middle
Litichi the middle of the middle of the middle of the middle of the middle of the middle
now i have the jimmy eat world song stuck in my head
The middle of the middle of the middle of the middle of the middle of the middle of the middle of the middle
It deserves its own acronym: MoTM
Do you identify as non binary?
Chase: *car screech sound*😆🌈
Me as an individual that used to identify as gender queer and now identifies as trans masculine: I relate to this whole video
similar for me--I identified as non-binary but am now a guy. Trans masc, trans guy, those fit me too :)
similar case here... when I first came out, I came out as bigender. but then I got more and more comfortable with being binary trans male. but just like Chase, I feel like I'm like... halfway between the middle and the "male" side. but again, like Chase, I'm going through a medical transition because that's what I want. the other thing... sincerely, I avoid the word not because I think it's a bad thing but because I'm scared of gatekeeping. If my doctors know I'm not like "100% manlimandudebromasculine" I'm scared they'll deny me treatment or call me a transtrender. I'd use the word if it weren't for stigma.
Please get a doctor you're fucking brainwashed
@@SArdenBarlow you're a trans guy not trans masc
@@comradegarrett1202 it's called a phase
"I'm not non-binary, I'm not binary" I feel so validated! That's how I feel! I have been questioning my gender for SO long and had an epiphany when you said that. Thank you for unintentionally putting how I feel into words ❤
Yes me too!
ScarlettTheThespian same!
Me too
I relate so much xx
in my heart i'm nonbinary but on the streets i settle for androgynous since my language doesn't have neutral pronouns and i live in an extremely transphobic country. videos like this are so validating and interesting and i wish i could have these conversations myself. you two consistently make me feel less lonely and weird, thank you!
What country do live in? Im really sorry you have to deal with that. I am in America where it's starting to be more widely accepted. I'm sure there is still a long way to go. I have gay friends and family and I'm totally accepting of them. Of course I just want them to be happy. They still encounter hate and negativity and that hurts me that they can't be themselves. I came to TH-cam to learn more about the gay community. I typically like to believe I'm open minded and this channel has certainly opened my mind to an entire world I never knew existed. I never realized how much I didn't know about humans. I'm very grateful for this channel so I can be more understanding of my family and friends. I always try to be understanding of other people and what they go through. After watching many videos on this channel (and ultimately others) I realized I was unintentionally not being very understanding. So I'm extremely grateful for Chase as well!
I truly hope one day you can live as yourself without fear. 😪
Do you live in Brazil?
Bc your username seems to be written in portugues
"I am old." Oh honey, no you're not.
The true binary: hunty and hunted
Katie G What does "hunty" mean? I've wondered for awhile now 😂
awesomecassiejean it means hunny chase says it all the time
I identified as genderfluid for a while before I was comfortable with calling myself trans (not saying being genderfluid is a phase) and I'm still feeling like there is something in me that is not 100% binary but saying I'm a trans guy feels a lot more comfortable for me. Like Chase said, it's not because of stigma or anything, it's just a word that feels right
As a cis woman it's hard for me to understand all this, how you guys feel, and all the nuances with all those different words. What I get from watching your channel, is simply this (as you said a few times): you do you. And I'll address to you the way you want to. As simple as that! I don't need to 100% understand (how could I, I'm not in your shoes, and never went through these identity questions myself). But watching these kind of videos just helps me remind myself that a lot of different people exist, everyone is valid, and all we need is respect for each other :)
please don't take what Ash says as relevant to the trans community. They do NOT represent me or how I experience being trans personally. And I know A LOT of others who strongly disagree with Ash.
There's nothing to understand. Teenagers and endless labels. Nothing to do with gender.
Miscrackwood. You are not a “cis” woman. You are a woman.
I identify as a non binary trans boy because I feel totally gender neutral but I'm confortable with being seen as a boy. I use male pronouns in French and am out as a trans boy.
I started by identifying as non binary and then more and more trans guy because that's my everyday experience even tho that's not my gender feeling.
I'd say I would not be confortable being considered as just non binary because I don't want people to think I'm as far/close to be a woman than to be a man. I'm not. (I know non binary doesn't mean that but other people think of it as neither or both male and female most of the time, and that's absolutely not what I'm living)
Alistair - H Paradoxæ same here!
Wtf this is exactly how I feel
Alistair - H Paradoxæ holy shit you are me ❤️
Just a question, because I feel sooo much like this, would you advise me to come out as a binary trans guy or a Nonbinary person or just tell the whole story about the mixed feelings (for me it shifts a bit)?
I would say it depends on what matters to you. When I do like administration things I just say I'm a trans guy because I don't care about my feelings I just want you have papers and stuff.
once people that I'm not particularly close to like classmates or things like that I even say that I am a trans guy because it's easier. and see people that are close to me with which I feel that it's important to show my feelings I can say the whole things if I feel like.
I would say it depends on if telling your exact feeling to somebody is important and if you feel safe to do so.
Every time "NOT binary" was said, I saw nuts in my head. "NUT binary" 🥜🌰 😂
I'm in the middle of the middle of the nut binary
The fact that Ash said “I will turn you into a non-binary one day” is really odd and makes me uncomfortable
Me too. I'm non binary and nobody "turned me non binary." I just...am non binary. I've been watching Ash's videos for over a year now and that's just their sense of humor, but the way that they said that made me cringe. This kind of language is hurting us and making it seem like we were brainwashed or pressured somehow. I don't know a single trans person that is trans because somebody else pressured them to be. Hopefully people won't take it that way :(
Me too. Really inappropriate statement from Ash who should know better!
Ash: So it is like the middle of the middle of the middle of the middle?
Chase: Yes exactly!
Me: What?
I’m just gunna leave this here to see what others think:
Unpopular opinion : gender is not a social construct
However!!!!! Gender ROLES are social constructs
I agree that gender roles are a social contruct, but the concept of gender to me is also a construct. Society uses it as a way of seperating people into certain categories. We aren't born with an innate sense of "I'm a boy" or "I'm a girl", we learn those things from gender roles and because people conflate gender with sex.
I believe we consider gender to be a social construct because gender is not just black and white, it's not just boy and girl. There are many identities on the gender spectrum and you can identify as neither a boy nor a girl. We've come to a point where gender identity is more defining than biological sex. It's just that society is not nearly as progressed.
I 100% agree, if gender was a social construct why would I feel gender dysphoria?
C Helms I think that we are born with the innate sense of our gender and that’s what causes gender dysphoria.
Kadomex I agree gender is not back and white, but I think that we have an innate sense of our own gender which is what causes gender dysphoria, which means that gender is not a social construct.
Oh, I love you both so much and LOVE this dialogue!!! ❤
You clearly don't have a clue what LOVE is.
@@andreidrodz1026 You clearly are a sad troll with nothing better to do with your life than berate happy people online. Find a hobby sweetie, there's many of them :)
This video is so flipping fabulous 😇
ya'll are sweet. Thank you for this
The way Chase described holding space for nonbinary identity in the future is kinda how I feel about potentially about identifying as a Demiguy or a nonbinary trans guy.
I don’t think he meant to describe non binary in that way. 💛
CaptainAce Why not a helicopter?
Ima demiboy
CaptainAce what's a "demiguy"
@@a_s2557 A demiguy/demiboy is someone who feels partially like a guy and partially something else, usually that other part being nonbinary
I would like to see a genuine debate with a FTM or MTF person who doesn’t agree with all these gender against a nonbinary person. Because I’m so stuck in the middle I’m having the hardest time understand what this is.
"I'm asexual."
"Cool. You do you."
"...I see what you did there."
Chase I love how non-judgementally you can analyse your own thoughts. Looking at yourself as a dynamic being who's identity is made up of past experience as well as how you feel inside is awesome, raw and just straight up real.
My boyfriend is technically pansexual and when I brought it up he was just like "meh. Imma stick with bi." so after that I thought about it a lot because as a panromantic asexual/greysexual I've never felt comfortable but I had stuck with it bc _technically_ that's what I am. And now I just consider myself as a bisexual person with a flexible sex drive.
And I'm really pissed off at expectations towards binary gender expression but regarding *my own* gender expression I just _can't_ think of it as anything but binary. So I'm a trans man and I struggle with masculine gender expression a lot because even though I am masculine WAY MORE than feminine and _theoretically_ feel comfortable with both sides... I sometimes get annoyed about my feminine tendencies. And I'm working hard to turn that off because it's *_BS_* in every aspect.
Ha Me too exactly
Bisexuality and pansexuality are basically the same
Umber Moore bisexual is liking someone of both sexes and pansexual is liking people for personality not gender or looks :) be careful who you say that to because some people can get very offended when someone says that. Hope I explained that in a way you could understand
TheLonelyWolfBoy
Mmm no. Do you think bisexuals fall in love with gender or looks??? That is kind of biphobic.
YO YO YO can we just agree on bisexuality being an umbrella term!?
I love both of you so much! I also love how Chase’s hair matches his shirt!
Love these two 💕😁
This is almost exactly me. I originally identified as 'gender neutral' (so non binary) but as I started binding and doing 'trans male' stuff I just went to male. I currently say male-ish or trans-masculine, but I feel weird with the term non-binary for myself (again not because I see it as bad, literally all my other irl trans friends are enby) as a singular label, though I will use it as a tool to help describe my gender in more detail. Possibly because I only feel comfortable with male pronouns (they/them is okay at a push but please don't try to use hey/them, it just doesn't fit me). Thank you for talking about this, it makes me feel much more valid as someone who has always said 'I'm not non-binary, but I'm not binary'.
We need more people like Chase. I’m starting on T in a few months, but have been feeling really discouraged after starting to watch some Trans Male youtubers. Videos like ‘trans trender’ and things along those lines make me really neverous about being a more feminine trans guy. But Chase’s explanation of not bianary feels just so comforting and so right. He makes me feel like whatever I choose and whoever I am moment to moment is okay. I can’t thank him enough for being so positive about gender and personal choice.
kh71718 s cool have fun destroying your body for narcissistic bullshit
You are putting your life in the hands of someone with pink hair and a flaky personality? Surely you can find more solid role models than that. Or indeed, follow your own idea of who you are. Why go on testosterone when you can be perfectly ok as you are?
Oh My Gosh. This makes so much sense to me. I never thought that anyone else felt this way. Thank you so much for making this video.
Congratulations, you’re another convert. You know it will take years to undo your brain washing?
2:20 that's how I feel about the label pansexual. It is technically correct to call me pan (attracted to all genders) but I identify as bi
yes !! me too
My issue is that there's false ideas about what pan and bi mean. I worry about saying bi in case people think that that means I don't like people who aren't binary or are trans. So idk what to say :p "I like em all"
@Ilil Ilil I mean, there's non-binary
Thank you for having this conversation. I recently discovered that I'm NB/Genderfluid in the sense that I flow from binary "woman" to NB "whatever, just Bobbie". I've been in my head and invalidating myself because I still identify as a girl or "chick" or whatever. And refer to myself as a woman and love being referred to as such. So chase explaining how he's a not binary guy, made me feel so much better. I love you both so much. You guys have helped me a ton in my gender and sexuality journey!!! (Sorry for the book)
Its hard for me sometimes, bc sometimes I experience chest dysphoria and sometimes I don't (I'm AFAB), and in those times that I don't, I feel like a fraud. I plan on buying a binder but I'm kind of afraid ill either end up never using it or seem to fake? bc, i don't necessarily identify as trans or as cis? and I have no intention of asking to use different pronouns bc I usually don't care what people use ( though it does feel kinda awesome to be mistaken as a dude, again I'm still complacent in being seen as a "girl"). I really wish i could be on some binary instead of this grey- area i feel like. Does anyone else feel like this or similarly?
UltraOriginalVoid Same
UltraOriginalVoid hey! Gender is really frickin confusing, but just know that you’re valid as a trans person (if you chose to adopt that label) as someone with a nonbinary or non binary gender
Listen, dysphoria is very individualised to each person and sometimes comes and goes. I get the feeling like a fraud thing but if you feel dysphoria then I think those feelings shouldn't be ignored.
This was such fun to watch, please continue making collaborations.
With my identity and the words I use to describe my gender, it feels some things are lost in translation. The youtube lgbtq+ community is in English and for a long time information on trans people was not available in my mother tongue which made it hard to find the terms for myself. But of late I've felt comfortable with the word 'muunsukupuolinen' which means 'other gender'. That word has some similarity to non-binary but isn't the exact equivalent.
Ash, your book has been a great help in learning about different genders and also a confusing read. Chase, I don't remember why I started following your channel (I guess some part of me has for long known I'm trans) but you are truly a great inspiration.
You are not learning you are being brainwahsed into lots of made up words.
"Its your squiggle!" XD the smile on Ash's face made me giggle. Love videos of you two! :D
This is a lot how I feel, expect the other way around. I identify strongly with being transfeminine and take pride in being a trans girl, and I feel like there's strength in claiming the feminity I didn't get to live and enjoy before I started transitioning. In reality I fluctuate a lot between like, feeling like a binary trans and feeling non-binary. The latter is not something I identify very strongly with, so I just call myself a trans girl and leave it at that, even if technically I'd be genderfluid/NB. Maybe one day I'll identify with that part of me more (which I already kinda do with how I present myself to the world sometimes), but for now I'm satisfied just identifying as a binary tran.
"I'm so happy I'm not a confused 15 year old anymore"
me, a confused 15 year old kinda sorta binary trans guy: HELP ME
I love this so much. Thank you both for making this video, it means so much more than you even realize. What Ash said about bisexuality versus pansexuality really hit home. I realized I am bisexual when I was 12 or 13, and I am 21 now and still get people, even people I don't know, telling me I /need/ to identify as pansexual because of how I explain my sexuality. But I just feel so much more comfortable identifying as bisexual as I always have, and it's /my/ label. I also came to realize here recently that I might be demisexual, so I have been trying out the label "demibisexual". But I've had so much trouble with the fact that I'm worried that I don't belong in the asexual community because until the past couple of years I never really considered that I was demisexual and I always had this misinformed idea of what asexuality was. I didn't realize for the longest time that it's on a spectrum. And even though I've talked to several people who are in the asexual community, one being someone who is demisexual themselves, I still keep hearing a nagging voice in my head telling me that I can never belong because I'm not "asexual enough" and that I'm too allosexual. Even though I have described how I feel to a few different people and they have all told me that it sounds straight-up like demisexuality and that I'm allowed to identify however I feel comfortable, I am still scared. But the label feels right to me, and I am still coming to terms with it. And this really helped a lot in that aspect as well because of the part where you guys explained that someone can identify however feels right for them. Thank you for being such great people
This was so interesting and I'm so glad you folks got together to make this video:)
Um...This video is solid gold. Thanks for touching on a subject close to home! I like the not binary description. I also love the ideal of you do you and don't let people tell you or define who you are!
That’s because they are flat out labelling themselves and influencing young teenagers at a sensitive identify-forming stage of development.
Hey Chase- this makes so much sense. I’m not sure if this also applies but, identifying as a certain way for a long time, it’s scary coming into a new identity or “label”. And some people in the community get all weird when people change their labels or whatever forgetting that we all evolve. Sending you lots of love!
Chase, I feel a lot like you. I feel like I'm totally male, but "soft" male. I'm a boy. And knowing you feel the way you do, but you are fully transitioned/transitioning and happy, gives me a lot of confidence to pursue my own transition where I might have been too scared. 7 months on T and I have fear for the future, but right now I am the happiest I have ever been. Thank you for being you and putting yourself out there for all of us.
So you’re a female who transitioned to a gay man. So what? There have been gay trans men for decades.
This video made me so happy
You know when you get this overwhelming happiness that certain people exist? well my day has been full of that today, and you both have been a part of it!
Thank you very much for sharing your self-ness with all of us. Sending you nothing but love and support with all my heart.
So, basically, you don't really use the term to describe yourself because it bears no relation to your personal self discovery journey? That's completely ok tbh.
Heinrich ya this video? Valid
yo wtf this is exactly how i've always seen my gender in my head like the whole line imagry and everything omg. i'm so glad there's another person who feels the same way expressing this identity on the internet. i'm still exploring how to identify myself as a trans masc/ nb person so this has really helped, thank you.
this video was so good for me. for the past year I've been in a constant state of struggling with my identity. this video put so much into words that I'm not sure I could've done on my own. I feel this so much and it feels good to know that I CAN actually feel this way. like in a sense its revealing that I'm "allowed" to identify like this. not exactly the same of course, every ones identity is different, but mine is defiantly similar. thank you so much your content has been so helpful to me.
You have just got influenced at an impressionable age by the gender trending. Get off the programmimng now and save yourself years of embarrassment.
Hey chase! I am an afab non binary person and I see myself on an ordinary day as being in the middle of your line example, and then on other days I lean towards “feminine” things some days, but I view my body and my presentation as just middle, I am hoping to get a binder so I can more easily present “masculinely” which I’m excited to try because I have a very “feminine” upper body
I am a full blown female that loves dresses and shorts, video games and makeup, shoes and Pokémon cards, listen to rnb and rock.. but I am just a girl, that likes and wears masculine and female things. But I still am. a. girl.
Macy Gurden See, you get it!
Auntie Christ the thing is I don’t though.. that’s my point. I can’t stand all this they/them, it, non binary... or what ever stuff. For me there are males and females that can do what ever they want and wear what ever they want.. not into this whole there are 300 genders thing that’s going on..
Macy Gurden I mean that you get reality, lol. And I agree. People should just be allowed to do their own thing. Coming up with new gender identities is regressive and a waste of time. Good on you for seeing through it all.
But that's how you feel. If they felt that way, they wouldn't feel a need to express that they identify/ feel/ experience something different. They'd say the same thing you're saying if their experience was the same as yours - but it isn't. The only way that I've come to understand is by listening -- you can't understand someone else's perspective through your own, because they're not the same. They're literally not experiencing the same thing you are in relation to your gender. They're not doing it to complicate things.
@@auntiechrist2273 you're ignoring their reality :p the reality is that they don't feel the same way you do in relation to their gender. Read above.
Have y'all checked out any videos from Fox and Owl? I think their wonderfully articulated arguments are very related to this video.
You just put into words EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL LIKE! Thank you so much :)
YESS My 2 favorite LGBTQ TH-camrs 💕💕
Chase, I am so with you on this!! The way you explained where you on on the "binary gender spectrum" (if that's even a thing), is *exactly* how I explained it to my therapist! I even used the same hand gestures and everything. Logically I'm supportive of everything non-binary, but I don't like the term for myself. The technical term for my identity is "bigender," but I don't like that one either. So, I'm sticking with genderqueer.
Your videos, out of all the FtM Transguys on TH-cam, helped me the most in coming to terms with my identity and gave me the courage to transition, after living 46 years of my life as a "tomboy" female. When I first was aware of the possibility to transition, it didn't quite resonate with me beause so many transguys are straight, while I've always been only attracted to men. It took me a long time to realize that sexuality and gender identity have nothing to do with each other, and that my many years of joking "I'm a gay man stuck in a woman's body!" was actually my truth. It wasn't a joke at all. It's literally who I am. A gay, genderqueer, transguy. :)
Oh my God, you literally just described my gender. Slightly on the male side of centre, not non-binary as such, but not binary either. If someone were to ask me what label I identify as, I'd even make the same noise you made for the "are you non-binary" question. An "eeeehhh..." sound coupled with a shrug. Long live the squiggles!
Me too! I’m starting to think I personally may be a Demi-boy but that’s just me.
Why give yourself a label.
Gah! YES! so much of this makes sense! The middle of the middle of the middle. I watch a lot of both of your videos and it's like having a conversation.
Chase you're exactly where I am. Thanks for explaining it so well.
This is so wholesome
Labels. You nailed it. All these impressionable young teenagers getting pressured to adopt made up labels just as they reach the identity stage of development.
Thanks, Chase. I'm someone who has felt like a trans-man for 12 or more years but because I'm also non-binary-tending, I tend to deny my own trans-ness, because of the rejection of binary labels, and have never tried to transition. So thanks again for your perspective.
i think the fact that its completely okay to explore and figure things out for yourself as a person is completely lost nowadays and i really appreciate the fact that in the end: you do you.
I was eating dates as Ash was saying "eat a date", whaaaaaat. (great video btw!)
I love when Ash, Chase and/or Aaron are in videos together, it's like watching a casual conversation between friends.
C Helms Me too😊
I love this video. I love seeing how you describe your identity and why and what that means to you, and it’s great seeing you both talk about Nb and what that can mean to other people
I was trying to explain my gender to my cishet math nerd friend and I did do the line but I am off somewhere over there thing. And he was immediately like "oh! So your gender is on the complex plane :) ". So thanks math, that is exactly it!
It's very cool, I love that line, but on the complex plane means that part of your gender is not real but only imaginary. You fine with that description?
Lux Aeterna imaginary numbers exist, though. They’re just imaginary because we have a difficult time visualizing them. And you don’t get taught about them until higher math. So, kinda like how a lot of people see Nb identities
My gender is i.
MY TWO QUEENS!! I love you two and all you do for everyone and all you've done for me
Amazing collab!
What lovely humans.
Have never wavered in my identity as binary, but I can understand the fluidity at the same time. Idk, great vid. So well spoken y'all.
Honestly labels are so much fun
The discussion about community and bi vs. pan is so relevant to me. I know that a big part of why I identify moreso as bi is because when I was first acknowledging/understanding my attraction to multiple genders, I had never heard of pansexuality. When I recently went to Pride, I saw a lot of pansexual flags, and it kinda shifted my perspective. Also so here for binary vs. non-binary being not a clear cut binary that everyone fits!
I love when you and Ash collab , Awesome video!
This is seriously helping because I’m “technically under the non binary umbrella” but I feel like I’m a trans boy but when I think of my gender I’m half way to the male side
This video is helping me get comfortable with myself
I JUST REALIZED THAT YOUR BACKGROUND IS CATTENS
I absolutely adore you both! I think it’s important to have a voice speaking to those trying to figure out their identity. Be that gender, expression, or anything else that has to do with becoming your best self. I so appreciate the safe space you’ve created and I look forward to your videos! Peace
AWESOME!!!
This I consider to be such a helpful representation, I feel like our gender identities are quite similiar and thanks to you it appears I could transition, which is calming to me (as someone who is pre-everything and scared to transition).
Don’t do it unless you need to live as a man. Otherwise you will be letting yourself in for a life of difficulty.
Thank you! This helps me a lot, because I'm in kind of the exact opposite situation, but this still applies. I'm a nonbinary girl who doesnt identify with the word trans, and seeing this sort of thing is so helpful!
2 people I adore in 1 video!!! My year has been made hahaha Great video ♡
*nervous laughs as light breaks*
Ash did such a good job sorta interviewing Chase and this was such a well phrased video!
When I was in prison there was an inmate that Ash really reminds me of... We all referred to them as Peter Pan... They even looked like Ash.
I absolutely love my friends, we live in a conservative area but we are all very open and lgbtq+ competent. I am pansexual and a trans man, one of my friends is a straight trans man, another is a non binary bisexual individual, one is an asexual trans feminine person, and my girlfriend is a pansexual cis female. I love having such diverse people around me and being able to learn from each other and encourage each other to grow and be who you are. And we all love you Chase!
every single one of ash and chase's collabs is just the two of them aggressively validating everybody and I love it
Brainwashing teenagers is what you mean.
I absolutely LOVE it when you two are together in a video!!!
I’m irritated because one of the things youtube is demonetizing videos over is language and the ad I got on this video, for flesh beauty, had a song with multiple curse words. Anyway very good video, love y’all
I'm pansexual and I used pansexual because when I was confused af as a thirteen year old i came across pan and it fitted me perfectly and still feels right in my head for years I didn't know there was a stigma about bisexuality or pansexuality because I wasn't in and queer spaces online or irl so thats the label that sticks to me and the meaning just fits me 100% I love and respect bi pan and queer identities no one should tell someone how to identify
Ahhh I feel so much of this! I was identifying as gender-fluid/non-binary for a few years before ultimately realizing that I was a trans man. My gender expression doesn't conventionally match my gender identity so that made it difficult for me to realize myself. Right now I identify as a gender non-conforming trans man, but when I came out a few months ago, I put together a 6 minute video on my channel here explaining my gender identity and how I relate with femininity and that video actually touches on a lot of the things mentioned here! I did a lot of research while writing the script and I have had truscum come at me for how I relate. I still feel true to what I said in that video, but it is affirming to see that attitude here as well.
I was bi, I was pans, now I'm just like whatever.... I'm *me*
I'm liking your like whoever you are
Veronica Rosa Me too
Same. I love people. I don't put a label on it because I don't feel like they fit me at all.💜
I know. When I was figuring everything out my “friend” told my brother that I was gay. Then my parents found out. Fml. Now I realize that technically I’m pan. But I don’t really like the label. If I am using one I use bi just because people understand it more, but would rather use queer or even nothing. Idk
I see so much anxiety because peeps are trying identify with the labels prior to understanding who ‘me’ is. Once I know me then others can worry how to describe me...
unless I wanna troll on someone and then I’ll use a label to get an army
I literally spent that whole video trying to figure out which one of them is taller xD
What quality time spent
Why tf did I only just get this notification
Aaargh I love this video so muuuuuch! I first came out (when I was a really OLD 29yrsold) as genderqueer but I eventually realised that I'm actually a trans guy but I've had so many experiences living "as a woman" and just generally a connection to gender that's not wholly masculine that I don't feel like a binary guy so now I've settled on nonbinary trans man if I have to define myself (or just queer man) and IT'S SO GOOD TO HEAR SOMEONE ELSE TALK ABOUT THIS THAAAANK YOOOUUUU! *finally remembers to breathe*
The whole hand gestures thing is EXACTLY what I do for myself! I flip between the middle of the middle (toward male) and the middle of the middle of the middle. I happen to identify as a nonbinary trans guy. I could use plenty of other terms to describe myself but those are the terms I like. It is really good to see another person's experience so similar to mine even though our paths were not the same, and neither were the resulting identities!
To my darling favourite youtubers. Yes. Yes yes yes. Yes. I think one of the crazy important things about growing up is also realising that it’s ok to not know where you fit. Having just come out as enby, I don’t actually know what label best fits my sexuality with out it being a mouthful, so I’ve stopped questioning it and decided I don’t have one (not that I’m asecual but that none of the various labels really fit)
Jo Hammer I think the closest I’ve found would be something like pansexual. I’m also demisexual (I think) and prefer women, romantically speaking. To get it really on the head it’s a heck of a mouthful, so I tend to just leave it out. It’s not an important part of my identity, to me. I do sometimes give myself the easy ‘queer’ label too. But ultimately, I’m just a me, attracted to folks occasionally.
Jo Hammer but in all honesty, I’m ok with not having a single label that I’m comfortable with. It’s kind of weirdly freeing. Like I don’t have to fit to some kind of uniform thing.
Jo Hammer yep. Hence why I just sort of gave up. It was like taking (Scuse the clunky imagery) a bra/binder off after having it on for ages. The only person that needs know my preference is me, and perhaps my partners.
Jo Hammer yeah, I don't want to be a bully, but it does baffle me that there are youtube channels dedicated to talking about this stuff.. I think that it may be possible that they are feeling normal human emotions.. Or are gay/bi.. My sister was a major tomboy when she was younger, cut her hair off, played on an all boys baseball team.. She isn't trans though.. she just liked that kind of stuff.. Now she is 30 and embraces more of her feminine side. She never felt the need to create a label for herself and get those around her to treat her extra special.. These people, in my opinion, focus way too much on their gender identity, and being different. I feel like it is all pretty narcissistic. When you spend a good portion of your free time deciding what label you fall under and how you want your peers to address you. I am pretty liberal, but this gets under my skin a bit.
There’s nothing stopping either of you making your own stuff (I’m not sure if you do) I’d say that neither Ash nor Chase are confused (I mean I don’t know them personally but their content implies otherwise to me). Nor am I for that matter. But even if they are, it’s sometimes reassuring to see. For me, I like seeing the humanity in the people that I look up to. It makes them more real, and as a result more approachable. If you don’t like it, or feel it’s inappropriate somehow, you don’t actually have to watch it. Also, I’m not sure who you’re referring to having narcissistic tendencies? People who question their gender? That’s a huge leap to take when you don’t know people or their situation. If your gender identity is clear cut and your sexuality similar, then I applaud you. You’ve possibly had it easier than some in a lot of senses. A lot of my own confusion when I was younger actually stemmed from internalised phobias as a result of growing up in a small town where folks are largely conservative and I just didn’t fit their models.
I’m also not sure what you mean by people in the gender industry? If you mean that they’re making money from being trans (in Ash and Chase’s cases) then I don’t grudge them that. They’re merely trying to be the voice they needed to hear when they were troubled.
Please understand that I’m not trying to fight here, but more unsure of what you’re saying. However, I stand by what I say with doing your own channels. Be the voice you think others might need to hear.
I'm so glad you made this video because this is how I feel about my gender but kind of the opposite. In the middle but a smidge closer to female. I'm not cis, I'm not trans, I'm technically non-binary but it just doesn't click in my head with that word. I like with words like boi and dude and woman, but I don't want to label my gender.
I really appreciate how open minded and thoughtful you are! I think however you want to identify is valid, whether you're a trans guy or nonbinary or a nonbinary trans guy, it's up to you and I love that you're owning your identity! Also hi Ash I love you.
I love ash's facial expressions
As a confused teenager sitting alone in my room, this video made a lot of sense to me. I'm not sure that I'm non-binary, but I know I'm not binary. I feel more masculine than anything else. Idk, it's so complicated but it helps a lot to hear someone else explain it.
as someone who is non-binary but also calls themselves a trans man and uses he pronouns (on top of they) I love this video! So many people criticize me for identifying as both non-binary as well as a trans man telling me I can't possibly be both. I knew I was non-binary in like high school and later realized that I was also a trans man through your videos Chase and right now in my life I am very comfortable with my body, who I am, and how I identify.
So you are another one that got influenced by You Tube videos of gender trenders and adopted another label because of it.
With Chase on this. You can be nb by definition but you identify as masc.
I love this video! Also chase, love your shirt!
Ash is so sweet. Too sweet maybe 😅 I totally get where the argument is coming from, like, your identity is YOURS with whatever words you want to use. I do think, though, definitions ARE important because that’s how we make sense of the world. What we need to do is teach kids that they don’t need to fit within one description. But I do think it matters, these definitions are part of people’s identities, especially when they’re lost. We just need to be open and accepting and let everyone find their way. I think a lot of the need of this narrative you guys are presenting comes from the own other-than-binary communities that sometimes just like to hate on each other (more than binary people can!) and it’s important to abolish that.
Great video!
I love y'all and your comfortableness in owning your identities. Keep doing you!
"I got so excited that people should use the words they want to I damaged things"
that sentence is such a mood
No, that sentence is not a mood, it is a sentemce.
Hi Chase, this is the first video of yours I've ever seen (came from Ash's channel). I legit thought you were born male. It wasn't until you talked about bottom surgery I was like "Wait a minute..." I also think it's really cool that you don't feel like you have all the answers yet in regards to identity and just admit it. People evolve ALL the time (well, most people) and it's a sign of intelligence to acknowledge that you don't know where you are in a couple of years from now. Nobody does!
this is literally how ive felt for so long and never had a way to describe it until you did. ive always put pressure on myself to feel 100% feminine because i feel such a strong connection to identifying as a lesbian. i dont feel non-binary but i also dont feel like i fit with being female completely either