Ash Hardell oh my gosh you are my idol!!!!! I love your videos and I follow you on amino and Instagram and TH-cam and I just love you!!! Ahhh thank you, because of you a actually came out to my parents!!
The first time I heard the word "genderqueer" it was like puzzle pieces coming together and it made me so happy. Also the first time someone used they/them to refer to me without even asking (I was wearing a tiny genderqueer pride flag and they must have recognized it) I felt butterflies of joy lol
I actually don’t experience dysphoria but I do actually experience euphoria. For example, wearing make up or not wearing make up affirms my gender on a particular day depending on how I’m feeling. That’s something I find quite interesting in myself. Also clothes. I’ve felt way more euphoric lately as I’ve been wearing more androgynous clothes which I feel matches my gender feels more accurately. And Ash your channel is so affirming! Please keep up the good work you do for the peoples.
Ash Hardell hey furst of al i love your video,s but I have a question. how did you find out that you had bobydyfrai, because I'm going to talk to a logebist and then I want to throw some things that I've had for a while on the table with that one and I just need some typs because often when I pout certain things to explain about how I feel inside, and I do not say that he / she will do the same, but there are questions to ask or just say is of you then you are transgender, sometimes also before I am finished with explaining but I often get the question from out of nowhere, and then have to explain each time again that I feel more bigender or something more in the middle of it, but in certain fields I have not always plucked it for tips that I can explain some things quietly, about that. and it is not right that I want it right now but hum if you have them for me I have something to hope for, but there are routing or something. and nice evening
Sometimes Dysphoria is like nose blindness - You're in a place with a bad smell, but after sitting in it for a while, you stop smelling it. Then, when you leave that place, spend some time in a non-stinky place, and then if you go back to the stinky place again, you can smell it again.
Kilian Rayleigh absolutely! And in general I think some people get so used to their dysphoria they don’t even realize it’s there until something changes (and then, unfortunately, it can become unbearable out of nowhere)
Yes. I would describe what I've experienced as gender apathy, not dysphoria. But then after having moments of gender euphoria, going back to that apathetic state is impossible. And that's when it starts to feel real dysphoric.
So one time i was roaming around walmart and i walked by this lil boy and he smiled and waved at me and I waved back and he looked to his mom and said "Mommy that *boy* waved at me!" Lets just say i had a nice day after that
That's so awesome. Ik this is an old comment. It just made me smile a lot. Like that kid had no idea that that would make your day, but it did. Something that stuck. Idk i really like those sort of "happy accidents" stories.
*I felt same when I kid from my old parkour courses called me by he/him pronounces when everybody knew I am Afab and believed I was a girl* *but it also felt weird cuz I'm non-binary XD*
I discovered my gender through gender euphoria...never had that word, but I have never hated my body. I just have felt excited about changing things. It was like a journey to being the person I felt most comfy as.
okay so i’m not a dude, i’m nb, but the first time someone called me a dude was when i was waiting in line to get school pictures taken a week ago it was something so small but it left me in a state of shock thinking “hold on, people don’t all constantly think i’m a girl? woah!”
There is this dude that takes walks about the same time I'm walking home from the bus stop and twise I've walked past him in trying to pass and be me afire and he's smiled, nodded, and kept walking a ill do the same back and even though he doesn't say anything I get this feeling that he's reading me male and even if I'm entirely wrong it happens in my head and makes me so so happy
My 14-year-old sister always struggled with calling me Gabe/Gabriall and using he/him pronouns because she felt kinda like she was losing a sister as I was transitioning to male. For years even after I had come out at 16 she would use my birth name and she/her pronouns. Sometimes I'd get really upset and text my mom and say "*sisters name* needs to start calling me by who I am, its making me really dysphoric and in pain and she doesn't understand how much it hurts me blah blah blah could you talk to her for me?". I've sat with her and talked several times about how much it hurts me, etc. But I felt that my mom was the best bet to convince her. My mom would sit her down and explain what I'm going through but my sister would say that she understood that it hurt me but calling me a different name meant she was okay with having 3 brothers rather than before when she had an older sister and 2 brothers. She explained it like that she accepted me for who I was and didn't have a problem with me transitioning. She wasn't against me being trans at all and she fully supported it. "I've just always wanted an older sister that would pick me up from school and take me to get a manicure and talk about boys with." So in her mind, her ideal sister was being taken away from her. I understood that she needed time to adjust and accept the fact that I was meant to be this way so eventually I dropped it but would sometimes throw little hints her way. For example "Once I grow facial hair, would you start calling me male?" or "Once I get my name and gender marker changed would you use he/him pronouns?" she would often lower her head a bit and say that she didn't know. Anyways, I'm now 19 and she started using my preferred name and pronouns about 2 weeks ago. She had come home from her dad's house after visiting him all summer and she had said "Hey Gabe!" and I was taken aback and shocked so it took me a second to respond but once I realized 'yes this is a stepping stone. She's finally coming around' I just excitedly responded with "Hey!!!!" it made me feel extremely Euphoric and amazing. I'm kinda glad she waited so long to address me as such because when those words finally came out of her mouth I felt like screaming with joy. It was almost as amazing as the first time I ever heard it. Not quite as amazing. But still well worth the wait. Mine and my sister's relationship was already really good but now we're even closer. I didn't even think that it was possible for us to get closer tbh but we are and I'm a happier bean. :) PS: Sorry for the extremely long long long paragraph of a story. However, if you ever do read this Ash, I want to say congrats on top surgery! You look fantastic and when you had your shirt off in that video it looked so right. Like, it was just meant to be. Also, thank you for taking the time to read this if you did. I love your channel and your content. I do disagree with some things but everyone disagrees and that doesn't mean you can't like someone or support them just because you have a different thought in your brain haha. All brains are unique and cool! Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful day, as well as anyone else that took the time to read this. You guys are true troopers.
Even decades after my transition, I still experience gender euphoria. Sometimes I'll notice how soft my skin is, or I notice my breasts. And suddenly I'll experience this wave of euphoria. At the same time, I realize I'm no longer the cute little twenty-something I was when I first transitioned. My boobs now sag a bit. I no longer have the metabolism I once had so I'm thicker around the middle. So that leaves me a little wistful. But all in all, I am grateful for all that I've been through.
It's so nice to hear from a woman! I seem to only follow guys. Do you have any suggestions for TH-camrs to follow who are women? It's also nice t hear from an adult! My passion is to get trans kids to become trans adults. The suicide rate makes me sick!
Shala Carter - Check out Cutting The Caboose - Danielle primarily talks about weight loss but she's a transwoman and she's lovely (and older than most of the trans youtube crowd).
I felt gender euphoria for the first time completely accidentally! I hadn’t even considered being Not Cis in any capacity until this happened - I went to the LGBT center at my college and someone used they/them pronouns for me by default and my heart just went “!!!!!!!!! HOW DO WE MAKE THAT HAPPEN MORE”
My gender dysphoria got way worse after i first experienced gender euphoria when i dressed up as a guy and this video helped me put language to that!! Previously i was struggling with wondering if i was "faking" being trans. (He/they)
I feel you on that!! I didn't really used to get dysphoria, and I worried *tons* about whether I was "really trans." Then I found out that NB people exist, figured out I was genderfluid, came out, and now I am much happier. But whenever I get deadnamed (grandparents ugh) or people use the wrong pronouns (new classmates ehh) I get this wave of dysphoria. Still a lot happier like this though.
A J I DEFINITELY understand what you’re going through. I’ve experienced little spouts of euphoria but after that was over I began to feel the same way about worrying if I was “faking it”. (Oh, you got a nice name by the way 😂)
It was kinda weird for me in that I never had completely awfull dysphoria until I experienced the euphoria, and then it came in full force and it worries me sometimes... It also keeps my parents from believing me so isn't that fun, amiright?!
Even being cis, videos like this make me so happy. Reminders that, yeah I am comfortable in my gender, and just because I'm not an ultra feminine person doesn't mean I'm not woman enough or whatever you know? Gender can be what you want so long as you're feeling it. (paranoid disclaimer: completely not intending to deter from the experiences of trans folks)
I get what you mean. im cis female and I dont feel very strongly about my gender any which way, so I have to keep reminding myself that just because "woman" is not at the forefront of my personal identity, doesn't make me less of a woman. it can be difficult tho. (also not intending to deter from the experiences of trans folks)
Im cis and fem but I’m not overly fem but sometimes when I get dressed up and put makeup on I feel very secure in my gender and yeah. (Also I’m not trying to offend or invalidate trans people. I’m just putting my own experiences out there.)
Actually a moment of gender euphoria as a cisgender person was one of the big things that made me sympathize with the transgender individuals in my life. I love wearing dresses and heels in a way that makes me /feel/ 'woman'. Some internalized misogyny kept me from wearing dresses and skirts for so long and when I put them on and felt comfortable and fancy and put together. Then I had an aha moment of "If someone told me I couldn't wear this because of my perceived gender or that this clothing made me masculine I would be super bummed." Obviously it's not the same as cis-identities are privileged over other gender identities but it was instructive in seeing why things like pronouns, transitioning and changing gender presentation can be affirming.
Ok so for some reason, it feels really affirming to me to know that cis people get euphoria too, because I’m questioning my gender and I get euphoria when something feels affirming, but I often feel like I’m somehow faking it. But I don’t get euphoria from the things that match my gender assigned at birth, so knowing that cis people DO get euphoria makes me feel more real, if that makes sense
i got called he in public for the first time at target and i was so happy and my parents called me son and i almost cried! (oh and recently i got my hair buzzed not a lot but it was first time cutting it that short)
I got called a boy in public for the first time earlier this week when i was at a restaurant and the waitress gave my little brother and I our burgers and she said, "Great choice, boys!" Also after that when my brother and I were walking to the pool and I made a sound like "Ree Ree!" And this lady turned around and yelled, "You shouldn't be doing that, boys!" But that made me so happy that they called me a boy.
the gender euphoria that i've experienced wasn't really connected to me doing anything new. i just looked at myself in the mirror one day, and realized that "wow... i don't need to be masculine to be a man. i can have breasts and still be a man. i can be all of these things and don't have to physically change if i don't want to change..." and then i started dancing! hahaha. that was a big moment for me, because i've never felt comfortable in my femininity before that. now i'm a happy non-binary trans man. with boobs. and lace panties. and i'm growing out my hair. and i love it.
I’m a cis hetero female but I love you videos so much they really make me think about how lucky I am to be in a position where I’m comfortable in the body and gender I was assigned at birth. Your video put such a positive message out into the world and I really appreciate them💛
Oh wow, I had to pause the video to say that I feel the EXACT same way about my name. My old name wasn’t exactly... bad?? It just wasn’t me. So once I changed it and now Zander is the best name for me, every time I hear my old name it’s weird and gross and awful.
I recently went behind my parents backs and bought myself a binder (one that was accidentally too small but I tried to put on anyway). I have large breasts 😓but seeing my chest at least sort of flat made me cry tears of joy
I'm actually pretty curious... I also won't be able to get one because my parents don't approve but I would be able to buy one myself in the near future. ...But how do you keep it hidden from your parents then? Because it needs to get washed and all, right?
@Gwyn - Thank you for the tip. (: The sad thing is, is that all laundry gets washed together. It's a waste of water to separate it here. :/ But I really appreciate you answering my question. 😊 Maybe if it needs to be handwashed, I can figure something out. (:
We don't have any person like you in Brazil on youtube or blog talking about these things, so I just want to say thank you very much, you're helping me a lot in understanding myself!
I can think of a lot of times I've experienced gender euphoria, but some of the main ones are the first time I was called "sir" and when I go to get a changing room at Target and the workers tell me to go in the men's side instead of the women's. But I don't think anything can ever beat the first time I got my hair cut short. My mom and the hairdresser were both trying to convince me not to do it. Last time I had gotten my hair cut, I gave in to their protests, but that time I stuck to what I wanted and when it was done I was so happy I couldn't stop smiling.
so interesting!! This is very true, both euphoria and dysphoria are present, and for me it's in both genders. Like I will be ecstatic wearing male outfits and using male items like deodorant, shampoo, skincare, etc. And then the dysphoria kicks in and I'm like "wtf are you doing you are a girl stop pretending". Also in other times Imma wear an awesome makeup and a cute dress or high heels, feeling super feminine, and again the dysphoria kicks in "uh why am I not a boy wtf is that girl in the mirror". So yeah it's a fucking mess XD
Oh my gosh!! I have almost the same problem!! I just never feel feminine and always feel I'm faking it, so i wear baggy clothes to try to cover my chest and just deal with it
Indeed, disphoria and euphoria are like two sides of the same coin: the trans coin. Maybe they both tend to kick in together because, in order to feel happy with our own identities, we have to remember that those very same identities are considered socially unacceptable by many, many people.
You two are adorable You look like siblings! My Euphoria Story: I was with my mom and I put on a pair of loose jeans and a boys flannel and I was so comfortable in it. Mom made me take it off and put on a dress(which I hated btw) and now I'm Genderfluid
I asked a friend to call me Noah and then the conversation had ended whatever I went on with my day. Then later he texted me "Noah! we should hang out" and I cried. I've always been uncomfortable with my deadname and seeing Noah for the first time, knowing he was talking about me was just.. the best feeling in the world.
Euphoria was how I found out I was trans lol. I was like "Nah, I'm just a femboy." But the amount of euphoria I had with feminine things made me question, and then a transphobe called me a girl (idk why, maybe cuz I had he/him is my bio at the time) and I was like "yep, I'm trans" lol
I felt gender euphoria when I saw myself talking and gesticulating in a video a friend filmed of me (I unboxed I figure form my Hero Academia and commented it^^) I looked at it and was so baffled and amazed. It was like I saw my true self for the first time in my life and I asked my friend over and over again, if I actually acted and spoke like I did in the video, what they affirmed again and again. I was so happy. I finally knew who I was and that I had the right to identify myself as non-binary, because it felt right and it was right. I didn't have to prove myself or anyone that I'm non-binary enough anymore. It was a great and really needed experience and I'm so greatful for it
This needs to be spoken about. I feel gender euphoria whenever anyone calls me my real name, maybe because I'm in a place where I'm very commonly dead named. It also bothers me when people use female pronouns, but if people stutter on them it feels great because that means they're considering they/them pronouns. I'm kind of gender fluid, the preferred pronouns are they/them, but sometimes she/her is cooler than others
I think my biggest gender euphoria story was when I learned the term genderfluid, it made me smile for like three days straight, and I remember calling up friends all excited to tell them that I was normal, which confused the h*** out of them, but for once I felt normal because there was this term that explained all my gender feels, it still makes me really happy.
When I was 13 (before I realized I was trans) I would play video games as a male character, and the people around me would use "he/him" pronouns and it always lifted my spirits!
For me, euphoria isn't a one time thing. Sometimes I can just think about my future on HRT, my emotions, my body, etc. And that triggers gender euphoria which feels like living a fantasy or a beautiful dream to me. So obviously, I cry from that happiness a lot too. That realisation that I finally know my self enough to have an identity for myself in this world. To finally love myself for me. Those kinda feelings❤️
So I've been having a time lately and have begun to question my gender (again). A little while back, before realising that I am non binary, a close friend referred to me as 'they' and it sparked something inside that made me feel warm and cosy. I didn't realise it at the time, but that was my first experience of gender euphoria! Your channel has helped me so much with realising and accepting my identity :) thank you so much!
Loved this video topic! just got my first binder yesterday (wooo!!) but literally got sick today and couldn’t wear it all day. Seeing my flat chest yesterday felt (like Jackson said) euphoric but also normal. Like that’s what it’s supposed to look like, that’s normal. But then today, since I couldn’t wear my binder, I felt more dysphoric than usual cause I knew what it could look like. btw I’m nb!
@@seb.is.missing what I did was I had an Amazon gift card for my b day and I used it to get a binder and asked my friend if I could send it to his house so my house didn't get the package so my parents didn't find out since I'm not out to them yet
Examples of gender euphoria are rugby, shaving my face/Mohawk,wearing men’s sneakers, shopping in the men’s section, wearing men’s underwear and of course being best man at a friends wedding.
Putting on a binder for the first time has been hands down my biggest moment of gender euphoria. I remember just happy laughing/crying in front of a mirror, trying on literally everything in my wardrobe, and taking a million selfies. :') Ahhh. As a transmasc NB person, I put off buying a binder for literal years because I felt like I wasn't "allowed" to or something. I had so many misconceptions about not being a "real" trans person. I'm so glad I finally took that leap. Now I'm considering top surgery and maybe T!
The first time I cut my hair short I thought I was a femme lesbian and someone called me “Sir” and it made me so happy and confused at the same time because I thought because I like dresses and makeup I can’t be a boy
I have several examples of feeling gender euphoria, but one in particular comes to mind: Every Halloween or dress up event would be my secret gender euphoria party. Never overtly stating that I wanted to impersonate a male character (and me not knowing why I did), it just happened to be that I just "had to" because of some random thing. Had long blonde hair? Oh well I have to use this opportunity to be Legolas at this party, it's movie themed! Went into a store with a friend at Halloween? Omg, look at this ridiculous fake mustache, wouldn't it be so much fun if I just went with this?! So crazy! Don't know if anyone else noticed the pattern, but I definitely did, and it became one of the first things that made me seriously think about trans stuff.
My favorite moment of gender euphoria also brought on my biggest moment of gender dysphoria. It was the first time I put on a real binder. I had dressed super masculine that day, put I was still not feeling quite right in my skin. One of my trans friends I was hanging out with was like “hey do you wanna wear my new binder?” I didn’t know at first because the only times I had bound before was for theater or cosplay, and it was there brand new binder, but they talked me into it. When I looked at myself in that mirror it was the first time I had ever felt truly comfortable in my body. I cried, and they let me wear the binder for the entire time we were hanging out. After I took it off and gave it back looking at myself in my masculine clothes without the binder felt awful. I was no longer that strong masculine me, I was a cheap imitation of what I wanted to be. I cried and didn’t sleep at all that night. It was a very important moment for me because I found out that I do enjoy my body, just not ever aspect of it. It was the jump to my discovery of being gender fluid! Now I can present masculine, feminine, neutral, and everything in between, and it all seem right!
I turned 30 recently and my egg cracked out of no where. I started realizing all of the times in my past where I had felt gender euphoria and dysphoria. Its wild how hard we can repress emotions (positive and negative) because they would force us to take a hard look at ourselves
I experience gender euphoria, when I wear male clothes. I feel so comfortable in them and much more attractive than in female clothes. The other thing is what makes me euphoric about my gender is when I shake hands with a man. Of course, I'm getting accustomed to it, sometimes it just simply seems normal, but I still love it.
So I'm AMAB and still really new to this, only discovered that I was non-binary in January. For the longest time, I was just super busy finishing up stuff for university and I just reached this real low point in my life where I felt really depressed and I started to question whether I came to the conclusion that I was non-binary too soon and I also felt as though I wasn't valid, just because I hadn't really experienced dysphoria. Then quite suddenly, over the past couple weeks, now with all that university crap behind me, I suddenly kind of felt this sense of like "Hey, I kinda feel like a girl" and I just went to town the other day, bought a bra, denim shorts and this super cute top and I tried them on in my bedroom and it was honestly such an incredible feeling, like something I never felt before and now I feel quite confident in saying that I am genderfluid
Can't say it enough times- Thank You Ash so much!!! You talk about topics of trans-ness that I really don't see anyone else talking about in such open, frank ways and it is so refreshing and clarifying to hear. 💜💜💜 I haven't started transitioning openly yet, but I have definitely felt that euphoria/dysphoria combination many times. Amongst friends I have been going by they/them, but sometimes some of them call me by she/her and refer to me as a girl, and I'm like "HOLY $@&%(#*& that just really happened!" and then I am away from them and someone calls me by he/him and it's like "Damn, that just really happened". Or there's seeing cis girls and feeling really happy that 1. they get to be girls which is so awesome to me and 2. it is possible that i could get to that point too which is super exciting, but then at the same time feeling sad that i'm not that way now and that I've had to live for so so long as a guy.
I had a gender euphoria moment the first time I wrote my preferred name on my paper in class. Also, and the first time my friends said my name and pronouns. And when my teachers called me Ashton... I still feel that way when I do those... also when I wore a tie. I didn't take it off for a day...
I know you left this comment months ago BUT thanks for sharing, you just gave me a flashback to a time in middle school when I made a tie out of duct tape and wore it (and got a bunch of compliments on it). That's some old school gender euphoria right there
Oh my gosh this genuinely made me feel so much better about my like, journey to finding who I am. I'm in a very questioning phase and I do have a person who is like Grace to you where I feel safe and comfortable and above all, valid. It's just so nice to have that and I didn't even know there was a name to what I was feeling, I didn't know gender euphoria was like a proper term but reflecting, I've felt it and it just like kinda confirms to me that questioning myself wasn't so wrong after all. So thank you for this video and the advice, it was just, it meant a lot.
Thank you so much for mentioning that it is okay to feel excited but also awkward/nervous/vulnerable at the same time, the first few times you try a new name or pronoun. I have experienced that, so it's great to hear it talked about.
Thank you for this, it made me feel so validated! Like Jackson said, feeling that mix of euphoria alongside the “this is normal” definitely made me question myself a ton like “If I really wanted this, shouldn’t I be more euphoric? Maybe...” *cue ten million thoughts.*
This helped SO much! I've been questioning my sexuality recently, and part of what was holding me back from accepting being trans or non-binary as a possibility for me is that I don't experience dysphoria often. Recently I've also been growing my hair out, and I was mistaken for a girl once and I LOVED it! (sadly there were a lot of people around so I had to act cool). About a week ago I was looking for a name that fit me more, and when I saw the name Jay I actually cried I was so happy. I don't think I'd cried from happiness ever before that, so it was big for me. Thank you so much for this, I feel WAY more validated now :)
I'm a cis girl and the first time I got my period and realised I had boobs I felt so euphoric. I distinctly remember standing in front of my mirror and going "Yay!!!!" quietly and jumping up and down in joy of "I'm an actual female!". Same thing with my period. Saw blood, felt womanhood.
That's really interesting and cool that you got that euphoria from these things :) I'm a cis girl too and always felt euphoric in school when someone addressed a group as "the girls" and meant to include me in that. That's probably because I always felt like I wasn't feminine or dainty enough, so it was great to hear that I was still seen as a girl. Strangely though, I was kinda embarrassed of my boobs at first and when my period arrived I just felt really sick 😄
Looking back, my first period was HELL and now I know it's because I'm nonbinary so I was questioning why I had to have this and why it felt so wrong. Same with my chest. When it started growing, I wanted it to stop growing
@Phils Eyelash that's really interesting that even cis people get euphoria. Like it's just a thing we all get, it's just harder for people for me to get. Just saying, when I first noticed I had boobs I was in a state of terror and discust so yeah that says something...
During gym the other day (for background I’m AFAB, non-binary), I was saying hi to a special needs kid that was in choir class, and the teacher with him said, “Come on [his name], *he’s* (referring to me) in the middle of class.” I remember running up to my friends and excitedly telling them that someone had used he pronouns for me. Although I definitely prefer they/them pronouns, it just felt good for someone not to use she/her, even if she did call me that because of my short hair. I remember the rush of joy I felt that day. Oh, and another one, I was talking to my friend, and he accidentally said ‘she’. I just looked at him and said, “they.” And he said, “Right, ‘they’, sorry.” And I don’t blame him at all because I had come out as non-binary to him a few days prior, but it felt good that he briefly apologized for the pronoun slip up and just carried on, like he didn’t make a big deal out of it or anything. One more, my girlfriend had accidentally said ‘she’, so I corrected her by saying “They/them pronouns.” And she said, “Oh sorry, they/them...” Like she actually said they/them, it made me feel happy that she just made a joke out of it.
I'm really REALLY questioning my gender right now and i dont know how to tell my friends, who i know would be super supportive, and videos such as this one help me to realise that i'm not doing it for attention and that i should start thinking about it more rather than dismissing it as something stupid. i don't really know, what i'm to say is your videos have helped me through this questioning stage and they make me feel like i am worth something. so thank you for that.
I was on vacation with my uncle. We had time to kill and I was looking for a sweater in a shopping center. I was lamenting about how boys get all the good sweaters and I couldn't find any I liked in the women's section. Without batting an eye, my uncle was like, "Well, let's just look in the boys' section." It was this moment of... oh shit... oh yeah... I can do that. But furthermore, it is 100% no big deal to do so, and you (my uncle) agree with that sentiment. Guess what I found a dope sweater that made me look like a teenage boy and it was the best :D gender euphoria.
One of the things that really got me started on my trans journey was being randomly "mistaken" for a guy. It felt really exciting for people to not immediately know my gender. And I held on to that and sought out moments like that. I would make a big deal of it to my friends and I don't think any of them could figure out why. I would keep a tally like "this week I got "sir" 5 times and only got "ma'am" 3 times". Even now, a handful of years later, I still get that euphoria when someone skips a beat trying to figure out my gender (it doesn't happen offend because I am very consistently read as a guy - but sometimes I fem it up and it throws people off)
At work child said to his mum about me, "He looks like a man but sounds like lady!" And it made me so euphoric because as an enby person being called male and female in one sentence is wonderful. (The mother was very nice and used it as a teaching moment. A+ parenting!)
I'm questioning my gender now, I wonder do I actually have gender dysphoria? Do I actually want to become a boy? Because I don't know, I cut my hair, bind my chest with a makeshift cloth and string (Don't worry, I looked up how to do things safely, I'm not using ace bandages or anything) and I wore a suit once, and I felt so great! But I have to wonder, am I just a tomboy? Because I don't feel really uncomfortable in my body, but I do fantasize about having boy bits and I feel really happy, but I wonder if I'm still okay with being in my girl body because I've been living with it my whole life? Or am I just a tomboy and my puberty is tricking me? It's hard to know and I've been trying to hear other's experiences to wonder if trying to transition and have my family and friends call me "He" and the new name I chose is the right choice? It's so hard...
I’ve talked to cis women who present as masculine, and we have similar euphoric experience of when we put a suit for the first time and felt more “woman” than we ever had wearing feminine clothes. I understand the difference between gender euphoria and what this feeling is, I just found the descriptions you gave relatable and it reminded me that everyone has such a unique experience with gender and gender expression! Great video 💖
Most of my dysphoria growing up came from my facial hair and how it never really made me feel like a girl. I think having to deal with growing up as a pansexual girl who has facial and body hair has helped me realize that I might be gender fluid. Some days having facial hair causes me gender dysphoria and sometimes it causes me gender euphoria, not extremely but it just feels so normal to me. Thanks for being so informative and showing me that being gender fluid can even be possible 💜
the first time i got called he/him when i was still closeted and questioning gave me so much euphoria! thinking back at that moment makes me so happy :)
As a young child i had short hair and was always gendered male which at the time upset me, so i vowed to never allow my hair to be short again. But just before my 18th bday i decided to cut it short but purposely selected a "fem" cut, and loved it. Since then i have adopted more "masc" haircuts and clothes and have consistently felt happier in myself.
Ash,I just want to say I love how much you maintain eye contact with whoever you are talking to. You seem to have so much respect for the people you speak to, it's super cool
I’m nonbinary (afab). The first time I experienced gender euphoria was when I was 17 and had really long hair down past my waist, but I tied it up so that I looked like I had short hair just to see what it would look like and immediately felt better and more like myself. I had always had really long hair and didn’t realize that it even bothered me until I experienced that euphoria. Since then I’ve experienced gender euphoria when I got my hair cut short, when being called my correct name and pronouns (they/them), and when binding. It does start to feel just normal and ordinary after a while and that’s so nice, but sometimes I’ll still get a wave of gender euphoria after seeing myself in the mirror looking androgynous or running my hands through my short hair.
I am a cis girl, but recently I have become uncomfortable with my breasts and am considering wanting to get a binder, but my parents(because I'm in high school) who aren't transphobic and pretty accepting would question me and ask something like "are you trans?" I don't want to have that conversion especially when I'm still coming to terms with my sexuality. I don't always feel that way. If there was some fancy party I would want to go in a ballroom gown or maybe a full suit. Sometimes I want to dress feminine and sometimes I want to dress masculine, but most of the time I just want to wear a sweater and leggings. To me, this sounds like being genderfluid, but I'm comfortable in identifying a girl, so I don't know.
Ash. I've been following your videos for a while now and I could really use your help. I am pansexual and I feel I'm non binary. I live in Georgia and it's very hard for someone like me to truly Express myself. My parents dont know about it and I'm afraid to tell them. They are SUPER Christian and they are very against the LGBTQ+ community. I dont want to be disowned but I want to be able to be myself. There is a pride event (very secretive of course xD) happening this weekend and I want to go. I guess all I really mean to say is I'd love your advice on how I could handle this? I'd really appreciate it! I love you :)
Not that it's what you asked for, but in case it would be to helpful to you I'm gonna leave this comment here: as you may or may not know, Christianity isnt actually against lbtqia+. It's people who have misinterpreted things and picked the things they want from the bible to manipulate, but where I am going with this comment is that if you either want to argue how your parents faith works together with lgbtqia+ or is having faith yourself that you want to keep but strugle due to this. AustionLionheart is a youtuber who makes (in my opinion) really nice videos about trans christian and other lgbtqia+ christian topics. No matter what, good luck on the event and you situation with your parents. Sincerely a christian LGBQIA+ person
I wish you luck and I hope this works out for you! I know what it’s like to be in that situation. It’s...not great to be scared of your parents. I know many of the people in your life might be very eager to tell you to tell them, and if you feel safe and comfortable doing that, do it! It will help you so much to be open with them. /However/ I know you might not like to hear this but if you feel scared, uncomfortable, or especially if you feel unsafe, it’s FINE to not come out. People push that you have to come out but I was outed to my extremely unsupportive parents. It was a very bad time in my life. Always do what you feel most comfortable with in your situation! I wish you so much luck! Have fun at your pride event soon, if you happen to make it!! xx
Hey so I'm a cis girl, so not at all qualified to give advice on this topic, but my suggestion would be to try to get your parents used to you being a bit more nb without actually saying any of these words. Cause I've found that the actual words (like nb or pan or trans...) can trigger aggression and anger, while the "act" itself (so just dressing more neutral, referring to yourself as a person instead of girl/boy and so on) go almost unnoticed or at least don't cause as much trouble. So maybe your parents will get a little more used to that side of you and eventually you'll be able to tell them why you behave the way you do.
Hey, best of luck with all of this! My parents are super fundamentalist conservative Christians and I have discovered that it is too taxing for me to try to talk to them very often about beliefs that are contrary to theirs. If you can wait to confront them until you have a little more independence, that might be wise. All the same, best wishes if you feel like the right thing to do is to talk to them sooner. I kind of underestimated how non-accademically my parents would respond the first time I tried to bring full articulation to my *gasp* progressive beliefs on homosexuality and the Bible. I guess just be prepared for them to not give your views a grain of respect for some time. Hope you have a less troubling encounter than I have had! Sincerely, Another slightly queer Christian
Even as a cis female, I think this sort of thing is super, super important to know about! This channel has made me rethink a lot of things I assumed about myself and even though I'm still comfortable being female, I might say that I'm even more so because I no longer have doubts about what I "should be" based on what I like and wear.
I love the chat about discovering your transness through moments of gender euphoria - that is how I discovered my transness! I didn’t know what the feeling was at the time, but the rush of happiness and excitement I felt when I first bound my chest for a male cosplay role, and was read as male, was the first nudge in the direction of self-discovery for me 💕
For me I didn’t realize I even had dysphoria till I experienced euphoria. Like.... being sad and uncomfortable with how I lived became normal. So not until I felt that intense happiness of gender euphoria did I realize as I had to go back to my assigned role how horrible I felt with the role I’d been forced to play my whole life. This video really helped me and resonated with me THANKS SO MUCH ASH ❤️❤️❤️
7:30 I'm glad Jackson said this. I find that sometimes things that in my head will be gender affirming can end up inducing dysphoria. Like button ups: I like how boxy it makes me look, but the way the buttons strain around my hips and chest just reminds me of how incongruous my self image is with the realities of my body. For euphoria: the time I asked for a more masculine haircut, and rather than trying to disuade me, or trying to feminize it, or telling me I was too pretty to get my hair cut like that, the hairdresser just cut my hair.
I was glad too. I am so unsure of myself rn, first time I wore a binder was just like, ok that feels good, but I got no reaction from my body besides that. Now I am more aware of my breasts, and seeing them makes me kind of :"what is this?"... So I went on and experimented a lot. And I am still not closer to my goal. I said to the mirror my chosen name and that I'm Trans. And something I my stomach just went to soft and felt right. But this is never an option for me. There is no way of noticing it so late (I'm 18), and I was fine with doing all that girls stuff, even I'm not the girliest one. So I think I am just a confused cis woman, like my mother told me.
I first experienced gender euphoria when I cut off my hair. I ended up cutting off/donating 12 inches and I felt SO wonderful! I also experienced euphoria when I put on a binder for the first time and LOVED IT! I actually cried happy tears for a half hour. It was such a ground breaking moment for me.
This is so good! I didn’t even know what gender euphoria is before this vid but it’s reminding me of when I wore this dress when I went skating with one of my closest friends. (I’m a genderfluid demigirl and normally dress very i guess boyishly. On this particular day I was feeling very feminine and felt so frickin great in that dress, and when I came out to that friend a while later, they told me that they had been really happy to see me looking so pleased in that dress when we skated. So frickin good!! Also, side note, major euphoria shot just now when I said that I was a genderfluid demigirl without having to assume that no one will know what that means!! 💗💗
Thank you two so much for filming the videos you did ! They truly helped me and I love you two for that ! Keep on being amazing people who are doing amazing things while helping so many people in the process and being inspirations to others around you..Love you both ! 💕 you deserve all the cookies in the world, xoxo
Your videos are such a great help for me. Its not really been easy to have moments like that when only a few people around are willing to help you with it. Considering my parents think its just me being confused about my sexuality and its NOT, because i already know that part of me, its hard to bring up the fact that I want to experiment with pronouns and different things to find myself. I’m just glad that people like you guys are on such a big platform and bringing up things that most people don’t talk about. Thank you so much Ash!!!
i wrote this almost a year ago, when i thought i was nonbinary. now that im older, i realized that im a binary trans guy and have come out to everyone i know and have begun therapy. i have an appointment with an endocrinologist in a few weeks to start testorsterone. thank you both so much
I'd experienced gender euphoria the first time I have cut my hair short, I was soooo happy and exited!! I've also experienced gender euphoria when I heard someone asking to his friend if I was a girl or boy and I was so happy about that because it was the first time when people didn't assume my gender and couldn't even tell which one I was (sorry if there are some mistakes I'm French and I'm still learning English )
I just love being here, I can be myself and it‘s the best thing. Makes me feel so much better, I also feel safer than going outside and getting weird looks from other people.
I remember when I graduated elementary I had convinced my mom to get me a masculine outfit and when I put it on and went to school, I was just filled with so much euphoria that day. I still have the outfit in my closet to this day and whenever I see it, I always think to myself; 'Dang, I want to wear that again.'
I'm a cishet female but I've never felt euphoric about my gender. I've often hated it and I remember as a very young child being disconnected from she/her pronouns. But I've also never really felt strongly dysphoric about my gender either. I went through a phase in high school and part of college where I would only wear men's clothes and was very uncomfortable with my breasts but I think society kind of forced me into a cis binary identity. Once I got to an age where gender expression didn't matter as much or wasn't equated with gender identity, that's when I finally started feeling okay with my gender
I wonder if it's possible for a cis person to feel gender euphoria, or maybe the concept only applies to people who've had at least some experience of gender dysphoria in their lives. But surely that would imply that euphoria is simply lack of dysphoria, which doesn't sit right with a lot of us. Either way, I'd be interested to know if any cis people here have had gender euphoria.
@@JontyLevine good point, but I would imagine most cis folks have experienced it at some point in their lives. Being validated in their gender and gender identity, perhaps. Or maybe I just made the assumption that other cis people feel it at times and I don't. I guess I've lied all my life not necessarily dysphoric but not happy with my gender and body either. I see dysphoria and euphoria on a spectrum though. Curious what Ash and Jackson have to think about this concept.
First off: Love these videos so much especially since I'm trying to experiment with my gender identity Second: Gender Euphoria Stories So I had just recently came out as Genderfluid to my friends (our group is made up of lgbtq+ people like one's ace, one's aro, three if i include myself are trans and all of us are either pan or bi) and asked if they would use they/them prounouns when describing me, to which they did and I kind of died inside. Second one was during band practice and we were calling each other kings and queens (we do it all the time) and i was referred to as king (i was a guy that day) and it just felt super refreshing!
I remember when I first changed my name I didn't tell anyone at my other job (I had 2 and the second one was a lot less openly LGBT friendly) it got to the point where I didn't respond to my birthname as everyone else didn't call me that so I had to tell them. I was so nervous that I would be mocked or picked on for it or even just have staff say they didn't understand at all and wouldn't call me my prefered name. So, it's at the end of the shift and it's been really difficult (I work in food retail) I don't remember how I told them but my boss then started saying 'Hey Rey' every time I was around so she could remember my name. I also had people asking questions (not in the most PC way but I got what they were trying to say) and it lead to multiple discussions on gender non-binaries and an explaination of the gender spectrum. The best thing is everyone just listened and learnt. It was amazing
Ok. Ash are you actually a mind reader though because every single time I’m questioning myself about different things or just need something to help with a thing that I’m feeling, you always and I mean always post a video about that one thing I’m thinking about. Anyways I needed a video like this today so thank you!!!
I'm not trans but I did try dressing androgynous for the first time and It felt great. I had on a button up shirt with jeans and throughout the entire day, people told me I looked great in it.
You know, I really, honestly thank whatever gods are out there that I discovered TH-cam when I did, because I don’t think I’d ever have realized I was so unhappy with how I was. You’re a big part of that, too! You’ve taught me most of what I know about what I know now about LGBT.
I found this video SO relatable! Especially talking about binding and having your flat chest just feel so normal and right, that's exactly how it felt for me. Thank you for talking about this
Not TOO long ago I was travelling by aircraft and I handed the person my ID to get on the plane and she said "Have a good flight Mr. Craig" despite my ID still having my gender as female. I literally RAN to my mom (who was ahead of me) and said "MOMMM!! SHE JUST CALLED ME MISTER!" And I was so happy in that moment.
So I'm not out to anyone I know because I'm not sure what I am yet but recently I went to a restaurant with my family (just to add details I have short hair, I have female parts, and I was wearing a sweat shirt that covered it all) and the waitress boxed up our food and I was going to hold it for my family. She saw that I had three boxes and handed me a bag saying "here you go young man" and I just got this surge of excitement. (The only thing that upset me was may dad got mad that I'm not more "lady like" pfffff no fuck that! I hope all of you experience something like this and I hope all of you end up how you want to be!!!
I'm a bit confused about my gender. I don't always experience gender dysphoria but whenever someone mistakes me for a boy I get a huge burst of happiness.
I'm not sure if this counts or not, but here goes. I'm a vid woman but I questioned being nonbinary for a while. I enjoy crossplay and occasionally dressing androgynous. For a while I was sort of always doing it. But when I would get home and unwind my chest I would love feeling the weight of my chest and other things. I'm in a mega femme phase now. So I guess I got a similar feeling when I realized I could don an outfit but maintain my female identify. BTW I'm pansexual and I LOVE your channel. 💗💗💗 I'm really happy you got your surgery and are more comfortable in your own skin, Ash.
So I recently discovered that wearing a certain hoodie from one of my favorite bands makes me feel super good with myself because I don't look so female in it and now I try to wear it as often as possible and always rush out of the bathroom, but really try to... y'know, figure out what it is that makes me feel so excited? Because I told my dad the other day that I don't feel like I'm a girl/woman and... well, he's always been very supportive, but he also said that I can't really... expect people to not call me female if I don't know, what's actually right for me because "neither man nor woman" doesn't seem to be enough for him. Gosh, I hate that my mother tongue doesn't have neutral pronouns. Also the thing about names... I totally feel like you described it, Ash, I don't hate it when I'm being called by my birth name or a woman because I'm so used to it. But still, I think that other names/pronouns might feel better? Gaah I don't know what to do maybe I'll just show him this video lol
It's so good to hear Ash talk about their relationship with their name in particular because it was exactly my experience. It's difficult to feel "trans enough" when you haven't been experiencing terrible dysphoria throughout your whole life, because that's the rhetoric that's always expected of trans* people. I never really had dysphoria growing up, I always described it as a feeling of apathy, and like "I could have probably grown up with my brain in a boys body and just be fine with it". My (very feminine) deadname never made me feel weird or uncomfortable, until I started experimenting outside of it and realised how great that felt. Now whenever I hear my deadname I cringe. Gender euphoria is so valid and important and it absolutely should be generally recognised as a diagnosis for trans people. I'm fully socially transitioned now and I have a really supportive family and friend group, but it's taken my mum + my third eldest sister especially a while to get used to the name and pronoun changes. A few months ago, the sister in question said to me "Don't do that. I just think you'll regret it." in regards to my Top Surgery. That really hurt. But now, since only a couple weeks ago, she's been offering me "boy clothes" and asking me about what styles I'd like to wear. My other siblings are also calling me "Mister Sister" and it's hilarious but also very sweet and I LOVE MY FAMILY OK
Euphoria and Dysphoria can both be a part of the trans experience. Tell me about any meaningful stories you have about either!
Ash Hardell oh my gosh you are my idol!!!!! I love your videos and I follow you on amino and Instagram and TH-cam and I just love you!!! Ahhh thank you, because of you a actually came out to my parents!!
The first time I heard the word "genderqueer" it was like puzzle pieces coming together and it made me so happy. Also the first time someone used they/them to refer to me without even asking (I was wearing a tiny genderqueer pride flag and they must have recognized it) I felt butterflies of joy lol
I actually don’t experience dysphoria but I do actually experience euphoria. For example, wearing make up or not wearing make up affirms my gender on a particular day depending on how I’m feeling. That’s something I find quite interesting in myself. Also clothes. I’ve felt way more euphoric lately as I’ve been wearing more androgynous clothes which I feel matches my gender feels more accurately.
And Ash your channel is so affirming! Please keep up the good work you do for the peoples.
Ash Hardell hey furst of al i love your video,s but I have a question. how did you find out that you had bobydyfrai, because I'm going to talk to a logebist and then I want to throw some things that I've had for a while on the table with that one and I just need some typs because often when I pout certain things to explain about how I feel inside, and I do not say that he / she will do the same, but there are questions to ask or just say is of you then you are transgender, sometimes also before I am finished with explaining but I often get the question from out of nowhere, and then have to explain each time again that I feel more bigender or something more in the middle of it, but in certain fields I have not always plucked it for tips that I can explain some things quietly, about that. and it is not right that I want it right now but hum if you have them for me I have something to hope for, but there are routing or something.
and nice evening
*are both a part :)
Sometimes Dysphoria is like nose blindness - You're in a place with a bad smell, but after sitting in it for a while, you stop smelling it. Then, when you leave that place, spend some time in a non-stinky place, and then if you go back to the stinky place again, you can smell it again.
Kilian Rayleigh absolutely! And in general I think some people get so used to their dysphoria they don’t even realize it’s there until something changes (and then, unfortunately, it can become unbearable out of nowhere)
Yes. I would describe what I've experienced as gender apathy, not dysphoria. But then after having moments of gender euphoria, going back to that apathetic state is impossible. And that's when it starts to feel real dysphoric.
Yes! That’s a great description for it!
Yes!! Dysphoria blindness was pretty much what I was experiencing until I started doing stuff that made me discover/affirm who I really am.
@Kiliqn Rayleigh that is literally the best analogy for it I have ever heard kudos to you!
So one time i was roaming around walmart and i walked by this lil boy and he smiled and waved at me and I waved back and he looked to his mom and said "Mommy that *boy* waved at me!" Lets just say i had a nice day after that
That's such a cute story :)
THAT’S ADORABLE AWWWWW-
That's so awesome. Ik this is an old comment. It just made me smile a lot. Like that kid had no idea that that would make your day, but it did. Something that stuck. Idk i really like those sort of "happy accidents" stories.
Did you transition into a boy?
*I felt same when I kid from my old parkour courses called me by he/him pronounces when everybody knew I am Afab and believed I was a girl*
*but it also felt weird cuz I'm non-binary XD*
I discovered my gender through gender euphoria...never had that word, but I have never hated my body. I just have felt excited about changing things. It was like a journey to being the person I felt most comfy as.
Same!
I feel u!!
Exactly!!!
I always worry I'm not valid because I was the same, but we totally are!
Same!
okay so i’m not a dude, i’m nb, but the first time someone called me a dude was when i was waiting in line to get school pictures taken a week ago
it was something so small but it left me in a state of shock thinking “hold on, people don’t all constantly think i’m a girl? woah!”
There is this dude that takes walks about the same time I'm walking home from the bus stop and twise I've walked past him in trying to pass and be me afire and he's smiled, nodded, and kept walking a ill do the same back and even though he doesn't say anything I get this feeling that he's reading me male and even if I'm entirely wrong it happens in my head and makes me so so happy
My 14-year-old sister always struggled with calling me Gabe/Gabriall and using he/him pronouns because she felt kinda like she was losing a sister as I was transitioning to male. For years even after I had come out at 16 she would use my birth name and she/her pronouns. Sometimes I'd get really upset and text my mom and say "*sisters name* needs to start calling me by who I am, its making me really dysphoric and in pain and she doesn't understand how much it hurts me blah blah blah could you talk to her for me?". I've sat with her and talked several times about how much it hurts me, etc. But I felt that my mom was the best bet to convince her. My mom would sit her down and explain what I'm going through but my sister would say that she understood that it hurt me but calling me a different name meant she was okay with having 3 brothers rather than before when she had an older sister and 2 brothers. She explained it like that she accepted me for who I was and didn't have a problem with me transitioning. She wasn't against me being trans at all and she fully supported it. "I've just always wanted an older sister that would pick me up from school and take me to get a manicure and talk about boys with." So in her mind, her ideal sister was being taken away from her. I understood that she needed time to adjust and accept the fact that I was meant to be this way so eventually I dropped it but would sometimes throw little hints her way. For example "Once I grow facial hair, would you start calling me male?" or "Once I get my name and gender marker changed would you use he/him pronouns?" she would often lower her head a bit and say that she didn't know. Anyways, I'm now 19 and she started using my preferred name and pronouns about 2 weeks ago. She had come home from her dad's house after visiting him all summer and she had said "Hey Gabe!" and I was taken aback and shocked so it took me a second to respond but once I realized 'yes this is a stepping stone. She's finally coming around' I just excitedly responded with "Hey!!!!" it made me feel extremely Euphoric and amazing. I'm kinda glad she waited so long to address me as such because when those words finally came out of her mouth I felt like screaming with joy. It was almost as amazing as the first time I ever heard it. Not quite as amazing. But still well worth the wait. Mine and my sister's relationship was already really good but now we're even closer. I didn't even think that it was possible for us to get closer tbh but we are and I'm a happier bean. :)
PS: Sorry for the extremely long long long paragraph of a story. However, if you ever do read this Ash, I want to say congrats on top surgery! You look fantastic and when you had your shirt off in that video it looked so right. Like, it was just meant to be. Also, thank you for taking the time to read this if you did. I love your channel and your content. I do disagree with some things but everyone disagrees and that doesn't mean you can't like someone or support them just because you have a different thought in your brain haha. All brains are unique and cool! Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful day, as well as anyone else that took the time to read this. You guys are true troopers.
Congrats on your sister finally coming around. I can't imagine how difficult that was, but it's good to hear you are close again. What a journey.
Best comment ever, Gabe.
I really realllyyyyyy hope that ash would read this comment, I am so happy for u gabe!!!
Danielle TDG Thanks!
Arunima Tiwari thanks a lot!
Even decades after my transition, I still experience gender euphoria. Sometimes I'll notice how soft my skin is, or I notice my breasts. And suddenly I'll experience this wave of euphoria.
At the same time, I realize I'm no longer the cute little twenty-something I was when I first transitioned. My boobs now sag a bit. I no longer have the metabolism I once had so I'm thicker around the middle. So that leaves me a little wistful. But all in all, I am grateful for all that I've been through.
It's so nice to hear from a woman! I seem to only follow guys. Do you have any suggestions for TH-camrs to follow who are women? It's also nice t hear from an adult! My passion is to get trans kids to become trans adults. The suicide rate makes me sick!
Shala Carter - Check out Cutting The Caboose - Danielle primarily talks about weight loss but she's a transwoman and she's lovely (and older than most of the trans youtube crowd).
@@shalacarter6658 Stef Sanjati is very good!!!
Julie (I think her channel’s Princess Jules?) is another great one.
@@shalacarter6658 Jae Noel is also a trans woman who's super cute and sweet 😊
I felt gender euphoria for the first time completely accidentally! I hadn’t even considered being Not Cis in any capacity until this happened - I went to the LGBT center at my college and someone used they/them pronouns for me by default and my heart just went “!!!!!!!!! HOW DO WE MAKE THAT HAPPEN MORE”
ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO THEY THEM IS AMAZING AND WHEN I HEAR ME FRIENDS USING IT WHILE CLEARLY REFERRING TO ME I THINK YES YES THST IS ME I AM THEY
This happened to me too! Was on a voice call and someone defaulted to they/them and I was like … I’m just not gonna correct them :’)
My gender dysphoria got way worse after i first experienced gender euphoria when i dressed up as a guy and this video helped me put language to that!! Previously i was struggling with wondering if i was "faking" being trans. (He/they)
I feel you on that!! I didn't really used to get dysphoria, and I worried *tons* about whether I was "really trans." Then I found out that NB people exist, figured out I was genderfluid, came out, and now I am much happier. But whenever I get deadnamed (grandparents ugh) or people use the wrong pronouns (new classmates ehh) I get this wave of dysphoria.
Still a lot happier like this though.
A J I DEFINITELY understand what you’re going through. I’ve experienced little spouts of euphoria but after that was over I began to feel the same way about worrying if I was “faking it”.
(Oh, you got a nice name by the way 😂)
It was kinda weird for me in that I never had completely awfull dysphoria until I experienced the euphoria, and then it came in full force and it worries me sometimes... It also keeps my parents from believing me so isn't that fun, amiright?!
Even being cis, videos like this make me so happy. Reminders that, yeah I am comfortable in my gender, and just because I'm not an ultra feminine person doesn't mean I'm not woman enough or whatever you know? Gender can be what you want so long as you're feeling it. (paranoid disclaimer: completely not intending to deter from the experiences of trans folks)
I get what you mean. im cis female and I dont feel very strongly about my gender any which way, so I have to keep reminding myself that just because "woman" is not at the forefront of my personal identity, doesn't make me less of a woman. it can be difficult tho. (also not intending to deter from the experiences of trans folks)
Im cis and fem but I’m not overly fem but sometimes when I get dressed up and put makeup on I feel very secure in my gender and yeah. (Also I’m not trying to offend or invalidate trans people. I’m just putting my own experiences out there.)
"just because "woman" is not at the forefront of my personal identity, doesn't make me less of a woman"
Yeah I've decided to TRY to just figure out what feels right before i worry about the name of my gender identity
Same, I’m not transgender, I’m non-binary, so I kinda relate but yeah
Actually a moment of gender euphoria as a cisgender person was one of the big things that made me sympathize with the transgender individuals in my life. I love wearing dresses and heels in a way that makes me /feel/ 'woman'. Some internalized misogyny kept me from wearing dresses and skirts for so long and when I put them on and felt comfortable and fancy and put together. Then I had an aha moment of "If someone told me I couldn't wear this because of my perceived gender or that this clothing made me masculine I would be super bummed." Obviously it's not the same as cis-identities are privileged over other gender identities but it was instructive in seeing why things like pronouns, transitioning and changing gender presentation can be affirming.
Ok so for some reason, it feels really affirming to me to know that cis people get euphoria too, because I’m questioning my gender and I get euphoria when something feels affirming, but I often feel like I’m somehow faking it. But I don’t get euphoria from the things that match my gender assigned at birth, so knowing that cis people DO get euphoria makes me feel more real, if that makes sense
i got called he in public for the first time at target and i was so happy and my parents called me son and i almost cried! (oh and recently i got my hair buzzed not a lot but it was first time cutting it that short)
YAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS you go
So proud of You! x
I got called a boy in public for the first time earlier this week when i was at a restaurant and the waitress gave my little brother and I our burgers and she said, "Great choice, boys!"
Also after that when my brother and I were walking to the pool and I made a sound like "Ree Ree!" And this lady turned around and yelled, "You shouldn't be doing that, boys!"
But that made me so happy that they called me a boy.
the gender euphoria that i've experienced wasn't really connected to me doing anything new.
i just looked at myself in the mirror one day, and realized that "wow... i don't need to be masculine to be a man. i can have breasts and still be a man. i can be all of these things and don't have to physically change if i don't want to change..." and then i started dancing! hahaha.
that was a big moment for me, because i've never felt comfortable in my femininity before that.
now i'm a happy non-binary trans man.
with boobs.
and lace panties.
and i'm growing out my hair.
and i love it.
I’m a cis hetero female but I love you videos so much they really make me think about how lucky I am to be in a position where I’m comfortable in the body and gender I was assigned at birth. Your video put such a positive message out into the world and I really appreciate them💛
I’m finally allowed to get my hair cut short. Not as short as I wanted but still short. I can’t wait.
Max Frost I cut mine for charity. Why don’t you tell your parents you want to donate it?!?!
My hair is as short as ashes
@@chenellemalone9788 mines cut just like ash's, and just as short, however I have thick hair so it looks a little different
@@stephdoesart3792 yeah I have curly hair
Ooh 😍 that's always pretty/handsome/cute
Oh wow, I had to pause the video to say that I feel the EXACT same way about my name. My old name wasn’t exactly... bad?? It just wasn’t me. So once I changed it and now Zander is the best name for me, every time I hear my old name it’s weird and gross and awful.
OMG AS A FELLOW ZANDER, SAME
I recently went behind my parents backs and bought myself a binder (one that was accidentally too small but I tried to put on anyway). I have large breasts 😓but seeing my chest at least sort of flat made me cry tears of joy
@Fandoms NeverCease i recommend gc2b!
or underworks
I'm actually pretty curious... I also won't be able to get one because my parents don't approve but I would be able to buy one myself in the near future.
...But how do you keep it hidden from your parents then? Because it needs to get washed and all, right?
@Gwyn - Thank you for the tip. (: The sad thing is, is that all laundry gets washed together. It's a waste of water to separate it here. :/
But I really appreciate you answering my question. 😊
Maybe if it needs to be handwashed, I can figure something out. (:
We don't have any person like you in Brazil on youtube or blog talking about these things, so I just want to say thank you very much, you're helping me a lot in understanding myself!
I can think of a lot of times I've experienced gender euphoria, but some of the main ones are the first time I was called "sir" and when I go to get a changing room at Target and the workers tell me to go in the men's side instead of the women's. But I don't think anything can ever beat the first time I got my hair cut short. My mom and the hairdresser were both trying to convince me not to do it. Last time I had gotten my hair cut, I gave in to their protests, but that time I stuck to what I wanted and when it was done I was so happy I couldn't stop smiling.
so interesting!! This is very true, both euphoria and dysphoria are present, and for me it's in both genders. Like I will be ecstatic wearing male outfits and using male items like deodorant, shampoo, skincare, etc. And then the dysphoria kicks in and I'm like "wtf are you doing you are a girl stop pretending". Also in other times Imma wear an awesome makeup and a cute dress or high heels, feeling super feminine, and again the dysphoria kicks in "uh why am I not a boy wtf is that girl in the mirror". So yeah it's a fucking mess XD
Have you read symptoms pf being human, i feel like you would relate to the main character...
Oh my gosh!! I have almost the same problem!! I just never feel feminine and always feel I'm faking it, so i wear baggy clothes to try to cover my chest and just deal with it
Indeed, disphoria and euphoria are like two sides of the same coin: the trans coin. Maybe they both tend to kick in together because, in order to feel happy with our own identities, we have to remember that those very same identities are considered socially unacceptable by many, many people.
Mom:transgender?!
Mom:well your not my son!
Me: wha-
Mom: cause your my daughter. :D
Yay happy ending whooo!
(True story)
You two are adorable
You look like siblings!
My Euphoria Story:
I was with my mom and I put on a pair of loose jeans and a boys flannel and I was so comfortable in it. Mom made me take it off and put on a dress(which I hated btw) and now I'm Genderfluid
I asked a friend to call me Noah and then the conversation had ended whatever I went on with my day. Then later he texted me "Noah! we should hang out" and I cried. I've always been uncomfortable with my deadname and seeing Noah for the first time, knowing he was talking about me was just.. the best feeling in the world.
Euphoria was how I found out I was trans lol. I was like "Nah, I'm just a femboy." But the amount of euphoria I had with feminine things made me question, and then a transphobe called me a girl (idk why, maybe cuz I had he/him is my bio at the time) and I was like "yep, I'm trans" lol
I felt gender euphoria when I saw myself talking and gesticulating in a video a friend filmed of me (I unboxed I figure form my Hero Academia and commented it^^)
I looked at it and was so baffled and amazed. It was like I saw my true self for the first time in my life and I asked my friend over and over again, if I actually acted and spoke like I did in the video, what they affirmed again and again.
I was so happy. I finally knew who I was and that I had the right to identify myself as non-binary, because it felt right and it was right. I didn't have to prove myself or anyone that I'm non-binary enough anymore.
It was a great and really needed experience and I'm so greatful for it
This needs to be spoken about. I feel gender euphoria whenever anyone calls me my real name, maybe because I'm in a place where I'm very commonly dead named. It also bothers me when people use female pronouns, but if people stutter on them it feels great because that means they're considering they/them pronouns. I'm kind of gender fluid, the preferred pronouns are they/them, but sometimes she/her is cooler than others
I don't want to come off as rude cuz that's not my goal i was just wondering if you meant dysphoria instead of euphoria?
@@ratbarf63 no my real name is the name I chose to myself, my dead name is the name my parents/most people call me
@@ashisreallytired9006 Oh woops sorry ,:d
I don’t want to be mean, but if you don’t like being called a certain pronoun, that’s social dysphoria.
Same!
I think my biggest gender euphoria story was when I learned the term genderfluid, it made me smile for like three days straight, and I remember calling up friends all excited to tell them that I was normal, which confused the h*** out of them, but for once I felt normal because there was this term that explained all my gender feels, it still makes me really happy.
When I was 13 (before I realized I was trans) I would play video games as a male character, and the people around me would use "he/him" pronouns and it always lifted my spirits!
update: i'm like 1.5 years on t, 4 days post-op top surgery!
For me, euphoria isn't a one time thing. Sometimes I can just think about my future on HRT, my emotions, my body, etc. And that triggers gender euphoria which feels like living a fantasy or a beautiful dream to me. So obviously, I cry from that happiness a lot too. That realisation that I finally know my self enough to have an identity for myself in this world. To finally love myself for me. Those kinda feelings❤️
So I've been having a time lately and have begun to question my gender (again). A little while back, before realising that I am non binary, a close friend referred to me as 'they' and it sparked something inside that made me feel warm and cosy. I didn't realise it at the time, but that was my first experience of gender euphoria! Your channel has helped me so much with realising and accepting my identity :) thank you so much!
“You don’t realize how sad you are until you feel happy”
-somebody probably
Yay! Thanks for having me, Ash 😊 Always great to converse with you on gendery things.
Loved this video topic! just got my first binder yesterday (wooo!!) but literally got sick today and couldn’t wear it all day. Seeing my flat chest yesterday felt (like Jackson said) euphoric but also normal. Like that’s what it’s supposed to look like, that’s normal. But then today, since I couldn’t wear my binder, I felt more dysphoric than usual cause I knew what it could look like.
btw I’m nb!
Sophia Cummins omg cool!! Feels so validating knowing others feel the same
Ayye I'm nb too! I've come out to a few of my friends but not most of them. Also congrats! I'm glad there are more non binary pals out there :D ♥️
Sasha Doran same!! I’m out to like 6 friends, not to my family yet! And yeah I’m glad there are more nb people out there too
I want a binder for but I don't know how to ask my mom...
@@seb.is.missing what I did was I had an Amazon gift card for my b day and I used it to get a binder and asked my friend if I could send it to his house so my house didn't get the package so my parents didn't find out since I'm not out to them yet
Examples of gender euphoria are rugby, shaving my face/Mohawk,wearing men’s sneakers, shopping in the men’s section, wearing men’s underwear and of course being best man at a friends wedding.
Putting on a binder for the first time has been hands down my biggest moment of gender euphoria. I remember just happy laughing/crying in front of a mirror, trying on literally everything in my wardrobe, and taking a million selfies. :') Ahhh. As a transmasc NB person, I put off buying a binder for literal years because I felt like I wasn't "allowed" to or something. I had so many misconceptions about not being a "real" trans person. I'm so glad I finally took that leap. Now I'm considering top surgery and maybe T!
The first time I cut my hair short I thought I was a femme lesbian and someone called me “Sir” and it made me so happy and confused at the same time because I thought because I like dresses and makeup I can’t be a boy
I have several examples of feeling gender euphoria, but one in particular comes to mind:
Every Halloween or dress up event would be my secret gender euphoria party. Never overtly stating that I wanted to impersonate a male character (and me not knowing why I did), it just happened to be that I just "had to" because of some random thing. Had long blonde hair? Oh well I have to use this opportunity to be Legolas at this party, it's movie themed! Went into a store with a friend at Halloween? Omg, look at this ridiculous fake mustache, wouldn't it be so much fun if I just went with this?! So crazy!
Don't know if anyone else noticed the pattern, but I definitely did, and it became one of the first things that made me seriously think about trans stuff.
I always love your videos!! They are the best!! And I’m glad you’re happy with yourself!!! KEEP BEING YOU, BECAUSE YOU’RE AMAZING!!!!
My favorite moment of gender euphoria also brought on my biggest moment of gender dysphoria. It was the first time I put on a real binder. I had dressed super masculine that day, put I was still not feeling quite right in my skin. One of my trans friends I was hanging out with was like “hey do you wanna wear my new binder?” I didn’t know at first because the only times I had bound before was for theater or cosplay, and it was there brand new binder, but they talked me into it. When I looked at myself in that mirror it was the first time I had ever felt truly comfortable in my body. I cried, and they let me wear the binder for the entire time we were hanging out. After I took it off and gave it back looking at myself in my masculine clothes without the binder felt awful. I was no longer that strong masculine me, I was a cheap imitation of what I wanted to be. I cried and didn’t sleep at all that night. It was a very important moment for me because I found out that I do enjoy my body, just not ever aspect of it. It was the jump to my discovery of being gender fluid! Now I can present masculine, feminine, neutral, and everything in between, and it all seem right!
I turned 30 recently and my egg cracked out of no where. I started realizing all of the times in my past where I had felt gender euphoria and dysphoria. Its wild how hard we can repress emotions (positive and negative) because they would force us to take a hard look at ourselves
I experience gender euphoria, when I wear male clothes. I feel so comfortable in them and much more attractive than in female clothes. The other thing is what makes me euphoric about my gender is when I shake hands with a man. Of course, I'm getting accustomed to it, sometimes it just simply seems normal, but I still love it.
I've been waiting for someone to make this video for a long time. Thank you!
So I'm AMAB and still really new to this, only discovered that I was non-binary in January. For the longest time, I was just super busy finishing up stuff for university and I just reached this real low point in my life where I felt really depressed and I started to question whether I came to the conclusion that I was non-binary too soon and I also felt as though I wasn't valid, just because I hadn't really experienced dysphoria. Then quite suddenly, over the past couple weeks, now with all that university crap behind me, I suddenly kind of felt this sense of like "Hey, I kinda feel like a girl" and I just went to town the other day, bought a bra, denim shorts and this super cute top and I tried them on in my bedroom and it was honestly such an incredible feeling, like something I never felt before and now I feel quite confident in saying that I am genderfluid
Can't say it enough times- Thank You Ash so much!!! You talk about topics of trans-ness that I really don't see anyone else talking about in such open, frank ways and it is so refreshing and clarifying to hear. 💜💜💜 I haven't started transitioning openly yet, but I have definitely felt that euphoria/dysphoria combination many times. Amongst friends I have been going by they/them, but sometimes some of them call me by she/her and refer to me as a girl, and I'm like "HOLY $@&%(#*& that just really happened!" and then I am away from them and someone calls me by he/him and it's like "Damn, that just really happened". Or there's seeing cis girls and feeling really happy that 1. they get to be girls which is so awesome to me and 2. it is possible that i could get to that point too which is super exciting, but then at the same time feeling sad that i'm not that way now and that I've had to live for so so long as a guy.
I had a gender euphoria moment the first time I wrote my preferred name on my paper in class. Also, and the first time my friends said my name and pronouns. And when my teachers called me Ashton... I still feel that way when I do those... also when I wore a tie. I didn't take it off for a day...
I know you left this comment months ago BUT thanks for sharing, you just gave me a flashback to a time in middle school when I made a tie out of duct tape and wore it (and got a bunch of compliments on it). That's some old school gender euphoria right there
Oh my gosh this genuinely made me feel so much better about my like, journey to finding who I am. I'm in a very questioning phase and I do have a person who is like Grace to you where I feel safe and comfortable and above all, valid. It's just so nice to have that and I didn't even know there was a name to what I was feeling, I didn't know gender euphoria was like a proper term but reflecting, I've felt it and it just like kinda confirms to me that questioning myself wasn't so wrong after all. So thank you for this video and the advice, it was just, it meant a lot.
Thank you so much for mentioning that it is okay to feel excited but also awkward/nervous/vulnerable at the same time, the first few times you try a new name or pronoun. I have experienced that, so it's great to hear it talked about.
Thank you for this, it made me feel so validated! Like Jackson said, feeling that mix of euphoria alongside the “this is normal” definitely made me question myself a ton like “If I really wanted this, shouldn’t I be more euphoric? Maybe...” *cue ten million thoughts.*
This helped SO much! I've been questioning my sexuality recently, and part of what was holding me back from accepting being trans or non-binary as a possibility for me is that I don't experience dysphoria often. Recently I've also been growing my hair out, and I was mistaken for a girl once and I LOVED it! (sadly there were a lot of people around so I had to act cool). About a week ago I was looking for a name that fit me more, and when I saw the name Jay I actually cried I was so happy. I don't think I'd cried from happiness ever before that, so it was big for me. Thank you so much for this, I feel WAY more validated now :)
I'm a cis girl and the first time I got my period and realised I had boobs I felt so euphoric. I distinctly remember standing in front of my mirror and going "Yay!!!!" quietly and jumping up and down in joy of "I'm an actual female!". Same thing with my period. Saw blood, felt womanhood.
That's really interesting and cool that you got that euphoria from these things :) I'm a cis girl too and always felt euphoric in school when someone addressed a group as "the girls" and meant to include me in that. That's probably because I always felt like I wasn't feminine or dainty enough, so it was great to hear that I was still seen as a girl.
Strangely though, I was kinda embarrassed of my boobs at first and when my period arrived I just felt really sick 😄
wow! that wasn't me when i was like 12. i was flipping out tbh. im really happy for you!!
Looking back, my first period was HELL and now I know it's because I'm nonbinary so I was questioning why I had to have this and why it felt so wrong. Same with my chest. When it started growing, I wanted it to stop growing
@@shimmerwolfarts same in all of the ways.
@Phils Eyelash that's really interesting that even cis people get euphoria. Like it's just a thing we all get, it's just harder for people for me to get. Just saying, when I first noticed I had boobs I was in a state of terror and discust so yeah that says something...
During gym the other day (for background I’m AFAB, non-binary), I was saying hi to a special needs kid that was in choir class, and the teacher with him said, “Come on [his name], *he’s* (referring to me) in the middle of class.” I remember running up to my friends and excitedly telling them that someone had used he pronouns for me. Although I definitely prefer they/them pronouns, it just felt good for someone not to use she/her, even if she did call me that because of my short hair. I remember the rush of joy I felt that day.
Oh, and another one, I was talking to my friend, and he accidentally said ‘she’. I just looked at him and said, “they.” And he said, “Right, ‘they’, sorry.” And I don’t blame him at all because I had come out as non-binary to him a few days prior, but it felt good that he briefly apologized for the pronoun slip up and just carried on, like he didn’t make a big deal out of it or anything.
One more, my girlfriend had accidentally said ‘she’, so I corrected her by saying “They/them pronouns.” And she said, “Oh sorry, they/them...” Like she actually said they/them, it made me feel happy that she just made a joke out of it.
My first gender euphoria was when a lady in the pharmacy used he/him pronouns (I was with my mum).
I'm really REALLY questioning my gender right now and i dont know how to tell my friends, who i know would be super supportive, and videos such as this one help me to realise that i'm not doing it for attention and that i should start thinking about it more rather than dismissing it as something stupid. i don't really know, what i'm to say is your videos have helped me through this questioning stage and they make me feel like i am worth something. so thank you for that.
I was on vacation with my uncle. We had time to kill and I was looking for a sweater in a shopping center. I was lamenting about how boys get all the good sweaters and I couldn't find any I liked in the women's section. Without batting an eye, my uncle was like, "Well, let's just look in the boys' section."
It was this moment of... oh shit... oh yeah... I can do that. But furthermore, it is 100% no big deal to do so, and you (my uncle) agree with that sentiment. Guess what I found a dope sweater that made me look like a teenage boy and it was the best :D gender euphoria.
One of the things that really got me started on my trans journey was being randomly "mistaken" for a guy. It felt really exciting for people to not immediately know my gender. And I held on to that and sought out moments like that. I would make a big deal of it to my friends and I don't think any of them could figure out why. I would keep a tally like "this week I got "sir" 5 times and only got "ma'am" 3 times". Even now, a handful of years later, I still get that euphoria when someone skips a beat trying to figure out my gender (it doesn't happen offend because I am very consistently read as a guy - but sometimes I fem it up and it throws people off)
At work child said to his mum about me, "He looks like a man but sounds like lady!" And it made me so euphoric because as an enby person being called male and female in one sentence is wonderful. (The mother was very nice and used it as a teaching moment. A+ parenting!)
I'm questioning my gender now, I wonder do I actually have gender dysphoria? Do I actually want to become a boy? Because I don't know, I cut my hair, bind my chest with a makeshift cloth and string (Don't worry, I looked up how to do things safely, I'm not using ace bandages or anything) and I wore a suit once, and I felt so great! But I have to wonder, am I just a tomboy? Because I don't feel really uncomfortable in my body, but I do fantasize about having boy bits and I feel really happy, but I wonder if I'm still okay with being in my girl body because I've been living with it my whole life? Or am I just a tomboy and my puberty is tricking me? It's hard to know and I've been trying to hear other's experiences to wonder if trying to transition and have my family and friends call me "He" and the new name I chose is the right choice? It's so hard...
Ash chilling me out and educating me at the same time is exactly what I needed tonight
I’ve talked to cis women who present as masculine, and we have similar euphoric experience of when we put a suit for the first time and felt more “woman” than we ever had wearing feminine clothes. I understand the difference between gender euphoria and what this feeling is, I just found the descriptions you gave relatable and it reminded me that everyone has such a unique experience with gender and gender expression! Great video 💖
Most of my dysphoria growing up came from my facial hair and how it never really made me feel like a girl. I think having to deal with growing up as a pansexual girl who has facial and body hair has helped me realize that I might be gender fluid. Some days having facial hair causes me gender dysphoria and sometimes it causes me gender euphoria, not extremely but it just feels so normal to me. Thanks for being so informative and showing me that being gender fluid can even be possible 💜
the first time i got called he/him when i was still closeted and questioning gave me so much euphoria! thinking back at that moment makes me so happy :)
As a young child i had short hair and was always gendered male which at the time upset me, so i vowed to never allow my hair to be short again. But just before my 18th bday i decided to cut it short but purposely selected a "fem" cut, and loved it. Since then i have adopted more "masc" haircuts and clothes and have consistently felt happier in myself.
Ash,I just want to say I love how much you maintain eye contact with whoever you are talking to. You seem to have so much respect for the people you speak to, it's super cool
I’m nonbinary (afab). The first time I experienced gender euphoria was when I was 17 and had really long hair down past my waist, but I tied it up so that I looked like I had short hair just to see what it would look like and immediately felt better and more like myself. I had always had really long hair and didn’t realize that it even bothered me until I experienced that euphoria. Since then I’ve experienced gender euphoria when I got my hair cut short, when being called my correct name and pronouns (they/them), and when binding. It does start to feel just normal and ordinary after a while and that’s so nice, but sometimes I’ll still get a wave of gender euphoria after seeing myself in the mirror looking androgynous or running my hands through my short hair.
I am a cis girl, but recently I have become uncomfortable with my breasts and am considering wanting to get a binder, but my parents(because I'm in high school) who aren't transphobic and pretty accepting would question me and ask something like "are you trans?" I don't want to have that conversion especially when I'm still coming to terms with my sexuality.
I don't always feel that way. If there was some fancy party I would want to go in a ballroom gown or maybe a full suit. Sometimes I want to dress feminine and sometimes I want to dress masculine, but most of the time I just want to wear a sweater and leggings.
To me, this sounds like being genderfluid, but I'm comfortable in identifying a girl, so I don't know.
Ash. I've been following your videos for a while now and I could really use your help. I am pansexual and I feel I'm non binary. I live in Georgia and it's very hard for someone like me to truly Express myself. My parents dont know about it and I'm afraid to tell them. They are SUPER Christian and they are very against the LGBTQ+ community. I dont want to be disowned but I want to be able to be myself. There is a pride event (very secretive of course xD) happening this weekend and I want to go. I guess all I really mean to say is I'd love your advice on how I could handle this? I'd really appreciate it! I love you :)
Not that it's what you asked for, but in case it would be to helpful to you I'm gonna leave this comment here: as you may or may not know, Christianity isnt actually against lbtqia+. It's people who have misinterpreted things and picked the things they want from the bible to manipulate, but where I am going with this comment is that if you either want to argue how your parents faith works together with lgbtqia+ or is having faith yourself that you want to keep but strugle due to this. AustionLionheart is a youtuber who makes (in my opinion) really nice videos about trans christian and other lgbtqia+ christian topics.
No matter what, good luck on the event and you situation with your parents.
Sincerely a christian LGBQIA+ person
I wish you luck and I hope this works out for you! I know what it’s like to be in that situation. It’s...not great to be scared of your parents. I know many of the people in your life might be very eager to tell you to tell them, and if you feel safe and comfortable doing that, do it! It will help you so much to be open with them. /However/ I know you might not like to hear this but if you feel scared, uncomfortable, or especially if you feel unsafe, it’s FINE to not come out. People push that you have to come out but I was outed to my extremely unsupportive parents. It was a very bad time in my life. Always do what you feel most comfortable with in your situation! I wish you so much luck! Have fun at your pride event soon, if you happen to make it!! xx
Hey so I'm a cis girl, so not at all qualified to give advice on this topic, but my suggestion would be to try to get your parents used to you being a bit more nb without actually saying any of these words. Cause I've found that the actual words (like nb or pan or trans...) can trigger aggression and anger, while the "act" itself (so just dressing more neutral, referring to yourself as a person instead of girl/boy and so on) go almost unnoticed or at least don't cause as much trouble.
So maybe your parents will get a little more used to that side of you and eventually you'll be able to tell them why you behave the way you do.
Hey, best of luck with all of this! My parents are super fundamentalist conservative Christians and I have discovered that it is too taxing for me to try to talk to them very often about beliefs that are contrary to theirs. If you can wait to confront them until you have a little more independence, that might be wise. All the same, best wishes if you feel like the right thing to do is to talk to them sooner. I kind of underestimated how non-accademically my parents would respond the first time I tried to bring full articulation to my *gasp* progressive beliefs on homosexuality and the Bible. I guess just be prepared for them to not give your views a grain of respect for some time. Hope you have a less troubling encounter than I have had!
Sincerely,
Another slightly queer Christian
Even as a cis female, I think this sort of thing is super, super important to know about! This channel has made me rethink a lot of things I assumed about myself and even though I'm still comfortable being female, I might say that I'm even more so because I no longer have doubts about what I "should be" based on what I like and wear.
From someone questioning af, this video is exactly what I needed
I love the chat about discovering your transness through moments of gender euphoria - that is how I discovered my transness! I didn’t know what the feeling was at the time, but the rush of happiness and excitement I felt when I first bound my chest for a male cosplay role, and was read as male, was the first nudge in the direction of self-discovery for me 💕
For me I didn’t realize I even had dysphoria till I experienced euphoria. Like.... being sad and uncomfortable with how I lived became normal. So not until I felt that intense happiness of gender euphoria did I realize as I had to go back to my assigned role how horrible I felt with the role I’d been forced to play my whole life. This video really helped me and resonated with me THANKS SO MUCH ASH ❤️❤️❤️
7:30 I'm glad Jackson said this. I find that sometimes things that in my head will be gender affirming can end up inducing dysphoria. Like button ups: I like how boxy it makes me look, but the way the buttons strain around my hips and chest just reminds me of how incongruous my self image is with the realities of my body.
For euphoria: the time I asked for a more masculine haircut, and rather than trying to disuade me, or trying to feminize it, or telling me I was too pretty to get my hair cut like that, the hairdresser just cut my hair.
I was glad too. I am so unsure of myself rn, first time I wore a binder was just like, ok that feels good, but I got no reaction from my body besides that. Now I am more aware of my breasts, and seeing them makes me kind of :"what is this?"...
So I went on and experimented a lot. And I am still not closer to my goal. I said to the mirror my chosen name and that I'm Trans. And something I my stomach just went to soft and felt right. But this is never an option for me. There is no way of noticing it so late (I'm 18), and I was fine with doing all that girls stuff, even I'm not the girliest one.
So I think I am just a confused cis woman, like my mother told me.
I looooooooveeeee your vids you helped me come out to others as panromantic asexual and you helped me get used to they/them pronouns
So thank youuuuu
I first experienced gender euphoria when I cut off my hair. I ended up cutting off/donating 12 inches and I felt SO wonderful! I also experienced euphoria when I put on a binder for the first time and LOVED IT! I actually cried happy tears for a half hour. It was such a ground breaking moment for me.
This is so good! I didn’t even know what gender euphoria is before this vid but it’s reminding me of when I wore this dress when I went skating with one of my closest friends. (I’m a genderfluid demigirl and normally dress very i guess boyishly. On this particular day I was feeling very feminine and felt so frickin great in that dress, and when I came out to that friend a while later, they told me that they had been really happy to see me looking so pleased in that dress when we skated. So frickin good!! Also, side note, major euphoria shot just now when I said that I was a genderfluid demigirl without having to assume that no one will know what that means!! 💗💗
Thank you two so much for filming the videos you did ! They truly helped me and I love you two for that ! Keep on being amazing people who are doing amazing things while helping so many people in the process and being inspirations to others around you..Love you both ! 💕 you deserve all the cookies in the world, xoxo
Your videos are such a great help for me. Its not really been easy to have moments like that when only a few people around are willing to help you with it. Considering my parents think its just me being confused about my sexuality and its NOT, because i already know that part of me, its hard to bring up the fact that I want to experiment with pronouns and different things to find myself. I’m just glad that people like you guys are on such a big platform and bringing up things that most people don’t talk about. Thank you so much Ash!!!
I'm glad to see you in such a good place Ash! You have inspired me to start transitioning into my nb identity so thank you so much!!!😘
i wrote this almost a year ago, when i thought i was nonbinary. now that im older, i realized that im a binary trans guy and have come out to everyone i know and have begun therapy. i have an appointment with an endocrinologist in a few weeks to start testorsterone. thank you both so much
I'd experienced gender euphoria the first time I have cut my hair short, I was soooo happy and exited!! I've also experienced gender euphoria when I heard someone asking to his friend if I was a girl or boy and I was so happy about that because it was the first time when people didn't assume my gender and couldn't even tell which one I was
(sorry if there are some mistakes I'm French and I'm still learning English )
I just love being here, I can be myself and it‘s the best thing. Makes me feel so much better, I also feel safer than going outside and getting weird looks from other people.
I remember when I graduated elementary I had convinced my mom to get me a masculine outfit and when I put it on and went to school, I was just filled with so much euphoria that day. I still have the outfit in my closet to this day and whenever I see it, I always think to myself; 'Dang, I want to wear that again.'
I'm a cishet female but I've never felt euphoric about my gender. I've often hated it and I remember as a very young child being disconnected from she/her pronouns. But I've also never really felt strongly dysphoric about my gender either. I went through a phase in high school and part of college where I would only wear men's clothes and was very uncomfortable with my breasts but I think society kind of forced me into a cis binary identity. Once I got to an age where gender expression didn't matter as much or wasn't equated with gender identity, that's when I finally started feeling okay with my gender
I wonder if it's possible for a cis person to feel gender euphoria, or maybe the concept only applies to people who've had at least some experience of gender dysphoria in their lives. But surely that would imply that euphoria is simply lack of dysphoria, which doesn't sit right with a lot of us. Either way, I'd be interested to know if any cis people here have had gender euphoria.
@@JontyLevine good point, but I would imagine most cis folks have experienced it at some point in their lives. Being validated in their gender and gender identity, perhaps. Or maybe I just made the assumption that other cis people feel it at times and I don't. I guess I've lied all my life not necessarily dysphoric but not happy with my gender and body either. I see dysphoria and euphoria on a spectrum though.
Curious what Ash and Jackson have to think about this concept.
First off: Love these videos so much especially since I'm trying to experiment with my gender identity
Second: Gender Euphoria Stories
So I had just recently came out as Genderfluid to my friends (our group is made up of lgbtq+ people like one's ace, one's aro, three if i include myself are trans and all of us are either pan or bi) and asked if they would use they/them prounouns when describing me, to which they did and I kind of died inside.
Second one was during band practice and we were calling each other kings and queens (we do it all the time) and i was referred to as king (i was a guy that day) and it just felt super refreshing!
I remember when I first changed my name I didn't tell anyone at my other job (I had 2 and the second one was a lot less openly LGBT friendly) it got to the point where I didn't respond to my birthname as everyone else didn't call me that so I had to tell them. I was so nervous that I would be mocked or picked on for it or even just have staff say they didn't understand at all and wouldn't call me my prefered name.
So, it's at the end of the shift and it's been really difficult (I work in food retail) I don't remember how I told them but my boss then started saying 'Hey Rey' every time I was around so she could remember my name. I also had people asking questions (not in the most PC way but I got what they were trying to say) and it lead to multiple discussions on gender non-binaries and an explaination of the gender spectrum. The best thing is everyone just listened and learnt. It was amazing
Ok. Ash are you actually a mind reader though because every single time I’m questioning myself about different things or just need something to help with a thing that I’m feeling, you always and I mean always post a video about that one thing I’m thinking about. Anyways I needed a video like this today so thank you!!!
I'm not trans but I did try dressing androgynous for the first time and It felt great. I had on a button up shirt with jeans and throughout the entire day, people told me I looked great in it.
I love this video, it's such an inspiration and your channel really helps me feel like me and who I am so thank you so much!!
Me to
Ash: *i asked a person to do something and they just did it*
*screams like an owl*
You know, I really, honestly thank whatever gods are out there that I discovered TH-cam when I did, because I don’t think I’d ever have realized I was so unhappy with how I was.
You’re a big part of that, too! You’ve taught me most of what I know about what I know now about LGBT.
I found this video SO relatable! Especially talking about binding and having your flat chest just feel so normal and right, that's exactly how it felt for me. Thank you for talking about this
Not TOO long ago I was travelling by aircraft and I handed the person my ID to get on the plane and she said "Have a good flight Mr. Craig" despite my ID still having my gender as female. I literally RAN to my mom (who was ahead of me) and said "MOMMM!! SHE JUST CALLED ME MISTER!" And I was so happy in that moment.
So I'm not out to anyone I know because I'm not sure what I am yet but recently I went to a restaurant with my family (just to add details I have short hair, I have female parts, and I was wearing a sweat shirt that covered it all) and the waitress boxed up our food and I was going to hold it for my family. She saw that I had three boxes and handed me a bag saying "here you go young man" and I just got this surge of excitement. (The only thing that upset me was may dad got mad that I'm not more "lady like" pfffff no fuck that!
I hope all of you experience something like this and I hope all of you end up how you want to be!!!
I'm a bit confused about my gender. I don't always experience gender dysphoria but whenever someone mistakes me for a boy I get a huge burst of happiness.
I love how many people think there first but aren't. Great video ash!
I'm not sure if this counts or not, but here goes. I'm a vid woman but I questioned being nonbinary for a while. I enjoy crossplay and occasionally dressing androgynous. For a while I was sort of always doing it. But when I would get home and unwind my chest I would love feeling the weight of my chest and other things. I'm in a mega femme phase now. So I guess I got a similar feeling when I realized I could don an outfit but maintain my female identify.
BTW I'm pansexual and I LOVE your channel. 💗💗💗 I'm really happy you got your surgery and are more comfortable in your own skin, Ash.
I think this is super valid and cool ^_^
So I recently discovered that wearing a certain hoodie from one of my favorite bands makes me feel super good with myself because I don't look so female in it and now I try to wear it as often as possible and always rush out of the bathroom, but really try to... y'know, figure out what it is that makes me feel so excited?
Because I told my dad the other day that I don't feel like I'm a girl/woman and... well, he's always been very supportive, but he also said that I can't really... expect people to not call me female if I don't know, what's actually right for me because "neither man nor woman" doesn't seem to be enough for him.
Gosh, I hate that my mother tongue doesn't have neutral pronouns.
Also the thing about names... I totally feel like you described it, Ash, I don't hate it when I'm being called by my birth name or a woman because I'm so used to it. But still, I think that other names/pronouns might feel better?
Gaah I don't know what to do maybe I'll just show him this video lol
The way you described you changing your name put how I feel into words perfectly, thank you for this too, it's really helpful and nice!
It's so good to hear Ash talk about their relationship with their name in particular because it was exactly my experience. It's difficult to feel "trans enough" when you haven't been experiencing terrible dysphoria throughout your whole life, because that's the rhetoric that's always expected of trans* people. I never really had dysphoria growing up, I always described it as a feeling of apathy, and like "I could have probably grown up with my brain in a boys body and just be fine with it". My (very feminine) deadname never made me feel weird or uncomfortable, until I started experimenting outside of it and realised how great that felt. Now whenever I hear my deadname I cringe. Gender euphoria is so valid and important and it absolutely should be generally recognised as a diagnosis for trans people.
I'm fully socially transitioned now and I have a really supportive family and friend group, but it's taken my mum + my third eldest sister especially a while to get used to the name and pronoun changes. A few months ago, the sister in question said to me "Don't do that. I just think you'll regret it." in regards to my Top Surgery. That really hurt. But now, since only a couple weeks ago, she's been offering me "boy clothes" and asking me about what styles I'd like to wear. My other siblings are also calling me "Mister Sister" and it's hilarious but also very sweet and I LOVE MY FAMILY OK
Consider making an animation process video? HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD HELP US LEARN.
all the little typography/written bits in this video are so damn cool !!! kudos to you!
Yep. I think I’m more gender euphoria than dysphoria :)