loneliness, social anxiety, making friends as an adult… we really got into it today 🥹 let me know if you can relate and if you’d like to see more videos like this ✨
Celine, first time watching your videos. This video reminds me of a quote- alone vs lonely. You can be in a room full of people and not be alone, but you can feel lonely because of lack of connection. I can relate to this as someone who has struggled with connection, but I have learned to make it my life mission to make more connection, to be more vulnerable and to take risks, and although I still lonely at times, I think this new mindset has allowed me to be more connected to everyone I connected with because I let myself be vulnerable. You have lots of people watching these videos for a reason, and I think at the core of it we all want some connection, whether it is people or to self. Be yourself and dont worry too much abt other ppl opinion and what they think of you. You are enough, you matter. Just some random thoughts as I watched ur video. ❤
Life is so much better when you realize you don't need other people to be happy. Finding happiness within yourself and not needing the approval of friends is true happiness.
I always feel very lonely before like I really need to talk to someone so being alone for a while can give me a lot of freedom but I can’t stand being alone for long periods of time
You are alone and comfortable becuase you are able to overcome your boredom by using mobile phones also if you are not passionate or have no hobbies then their is no option except scroll through your mobile all day. We think we are not alone becuase we have this phones, in real we are extremely lonely:(
A therapist taught me that there are different types of friends. Group 1 is the people you are willing to be vulnerable with and you know you can trust. This will always be a small group. Group 2 is a larger group of people whom you are just "friendly" with and will occasionally meet with at social functions, events or dinners. Group 3 is a much larger group who are people you know and like, but they are more like casual acquaintances. The key point is that Group 2 and Group 3 friends are still important to cultivate, just realize who fits into which group and don’t have unrealistic expectations.
I like this. The problem is many of us don’t have the “Group 1” friends whom we are willing to be vulnerable with. Surface level friendships are easier to cultivate than deep, close friendships.
My group 1 is in the country I grew up in, I have one group 1 friend here in USA but she moved to a state far away, so WhatsApp is my only way of being with my true friends. I don't really have a group 2, I have a big group 3, I have 4 children and I work full time so I don't have the energy or desire to spend time in what at the moment seems superfluous activities with people who are nice and I appreciate but drain too much of the energy I need for my children and my home
@@daniela_5542 It is a REAL challenge. I don't want to sound mean, but a lot of people are very shallow and not very introspective. Someone has to be introspective, mature and trustworthy, which really narrows down the pool of potential close friends.
"I realize I cant sit around and let life pass-by because I don't have friends to do things with, so if I want to do things, I'll go do them." Really resonated with me. Great Video Celine. :^)
As a someone in their mid-20s who doesn't want to drink anymore and also lives in a big city (NYC) I learned that sticking to my values and not conforming to social pressure makes me happier than trying to fit in. You'll learn who your true friends are this way and keep toxic people out.
22 from India in the same exact boat. Our values will go a long way I’m sure we will be looking back laughing at our young selves for being absolutely correct about our situations and doing our best.
I was in my late 20s when going out and drinking alcohol just stopped being fun .. so I stopped drinking and going out and immediately Noticed my social circle change .. gone were about 90% of my friends . I’ve tried making new ones but I just have no desire to go over to someone house and drink beer on their deck or go to their kids bday party. I’d rather just take my dog out for a nice long walk In the woods - much better and no energy is drained
@@brianmeen2158I'm 25 and never got out in my life and never drank. I just did not like that culture at all. So my social circle is almost non existent but i could not care less. I know my morals and respect myself.
oh dude same boat - mid 20's in nyc and literally no friends - unless people need something like discounts from me kek. my only best friend moved out cuz he hated the city life --now we both miss each other and our weekly hikes lol
The greatest friend you will ever have is a book in your hands. It's literally the thoughts and ideas of someone youve never met but whove reached out to you from decades ago
As a loner.. I agree that this lifestyle will help you be the best version of you. You'll know when you are ready to share your life with someone and when you are ready the experience will be magnificent.
It's a real strength being comfortable, and even be able to enjoy, your own company. It means when you do meet people you'll be less inclined to put up with poor behaviour as you're not desperate for company.
I AM SO HAPPY YOU TALKED ABOUT THIS TOPIC!! I think esp with social media, people are so concerned about how many "likes" or "followers" or "friends they have by posting photos and such. But AT THE END OF THE DAY, who will BE BY YOUR SIDE at your hospital bed? Think about it. Thank you Celine! Look forward to your content!
Even when you feel like you’re alone, you’re not really alone. There’s life all around you, there’s nature and there are forces beyond our understanding. You can stay spiritually connected without knowing the people you are connected to.
About to be 49. I've been a loner my whole life. Never was interested in getting high or getting drunk or sleeping with a bunch of women. In my experience, friends will disappoint you. Sure, I've dated and have had girlfriends. But for me, life is simpler when you don't have to acquiesce to social pressure. It's a small slice of heaven.
I have come to this realization when I was in highschool. My “friends” would never really ask me anything, “how was I, how’s my day” nothing. I was always the one to create the conversation looking for some time of bond. Like you said, a deeper layer and nothing. Most of my “friends” didn’t even know the basic layer of me. I’ve never really cared of what others thought of me but it did create some sort of wall over time and made it harder to trust with deeper emotion convos. I’m a talker so I can talk about almost anything but not in the way I want. Now when people want to talk to me they expect me to be there and listen and hear them out. Most definitely not the other way around. Struggled with this for a very long time. Even after marriage and kids. Made me feel like I’m the type of person they use and not connect with. I have come to terms of enjoying my alone time and actually rather spend time with certain family members outside my husband and kids. Literally a few cousins. Like 3. And once in a long while. I also have come to realize I’ve become a homebody. I like to socialize but really enjoy being home and being at peace with GOD and my family. Thank you for video. It was really good.
My parents moved around constantly every year. Whenever i moved, i had to start again. And then before i was to start high school, my parents moved back to pakistan. It was a huge culture shock. Plus my dad is a huge gas lighter who would force me to mingle with kids of his friends who i couldn't get along with and they had an allowance. I would be forced to hangout with them at a cafe, but couldn't get anything myself. Plus they were up to date with all trends. Felt out of place with them. When i came back to canada i felt like a fob. And then the trend of moving around continued. I can't be superficial with people. I need deep connections with people with common hobbies. I finally was able to put my foot down when i decided to stay in ottawa, on. There my wife and i didn't have others. But at least we were at peace.
same, it's always me who starts a conversion, who actively listens and keeps the convo going while the other person doesn't pull the weight, doesn't reciprocate, they rather there be an awkward silence than them asking me questions it's either these type of people or people who monopolize the time with their monologues and, same like the first group, don't want to connect with me but just want me to listen to them nowadays I stopped putting in the energy, if the other person doesn't know how to communicate than I'm out my therapist told me that I should teach people how to communicate I said HELL NO I'm not their mommy nor their therapist, they're grown, if grown adults don't know how to communicate then that's their problem
Wow what you said totally speaks to me. No one is ever asks me anything. They do all the talking and are just superficial. Ugh. I hate that, I really want a deep and true friendship. Just doesn’t seem to be meant to happen in this lifetime.
God is you! manifest your desires by playing it out in your head,just the way you imagine you would want it to be,play the scenario over,and over,and over,with as much detail as you can possibly put into your final outcome,and I mean every tiny detail,and start living your life,as though it were real,and it will become real. Trust me,there is no God,as an all mighty being,God is in you,it is your imagination. Your Imagination is very powerful,plaese don't put any negativity in your imagination,as you will manifest that too.
When you realize you're friends are fake and in genuine, You're gutted at first but then relieved when they're gone. Thank you for sharing your experience
It proves great strength that you accept yourself as you are right now, without friends. The best friend you can have is yourself. Once you've accepted that, you will radiate your happiness and might even draw people who are like-minded and can become friends, without you being dependent on them. I moved to a new city years ago and I was frantically trying to find new friends. No matter how hard I tried, it did not work. Once I let the idea go and started working on myself, I became a better version of myself. Some time later, I started volunteering for the company I still volunteer for now. Suddenly I was surrounded by these like-minded, nice people. A few years later I had more friends than I had actually time and energy for.
The point was not about "accepting yourself and stop trying to make friends". That's the same thing they tell people about relationships. But you have to stick to your interests and your values while finding a way to involve yourself with new people. You like to cook? Climb? Fotopgraph? Yoga? Finances? You will find for literally ANY INTEREST even a si gle person activity such as readying a club and community as lomg as you don't live in the middle of nowhere. Go seek out the community that shares your interest and don't just drop it if you didn't connect at the first meeting with anyone. Maybe next time someone else will show up you click with. Maybe you end up being an acointance to someone in that club or class and that person introduces you to someone else they know with who you truly connect! I was mostly doing flexibility training my own for YEARS until I finnally found an acro community in my town I joined. It took 2 years but now I found a training partner who I just soent holidays with. Am I super close with someone from there? No to be honest it just didn't happen. But I for sure spend most my freetime with people I met through that club and found my real pssion of cheer stunting and have the best time of my life sharing my passion for sport with other people. Even while I don't connect on a personal level with them it truyl satisfies my need for positive interactions with other people. And if it was true friendship I was seeking there I would have probably been digging deeper with some of them but I already do have 2 close friends that are more than enough for me.
As a 53 year old woman it took a lot longer to learn the lessons you have learned. You amaze me with your wisdom Celine! You will be just fine with whatever happens because you know how human nature is. People will betray and switch up at the drop of a hat...knowing that, protecting yourself and knowing you are just fine ALONE is the gold standard! Please do more videos of you imparting what you have learned. You are a natural talent that I could watch all day long! Well spoken and classy too! Thanks Celine❤
So true, some people befriend with you to fill up their time, when you need them they are gone as fast as a wind. It took me a long time to realise my time is too precious to waste on this type of people.
Same age (although male) and like yourself it took me longer to come to the same conclusions. I suspect social media has made it easier to see this more quickly today. Either way I've realized there are very few people in this world that actually give a crap about anyone else, and even fewer that will inconvenience themselves to help a friend in a time of need. The few that will, cherish them!
I think there’s a stigma that gets attached to Loners like us a lot, like if you don’t have what society deems as having enough friends, that there’s something wrong with you, when usually there really isn’t and people don’t always realize so they feel pressured by their peers or out of feelin really lonely so they’lll end up with the Wrong company.mIts best to have just a Few friends who are really genuine than many who aren’t that close.
I don't have any friends and I never truly did. All my "friends" were fake, would talk about me behind my back constantly. It was always a competition. Thank you for this
I have been a lone wolf my entire life. As an adult I will go to concerts, sporting events, amusement parks, etc. by myself and have a great time. It started in my childhood as my father left my mother when she was pregnant with me and his family never wanted anything to do with me. My mom's side was poor and a lot of my cousins grew up in foster homes. I am now college educated and have a successful career. Being alone is my comfort zone and I never cared about what others think.
This hits home for me. Self-reflection is something many people are unable to do because they are so distracted with life. The distractions can be anything in life, and only amplifies as life carries on with more responsibilities as a working, and function adult in society. So called loners essentially have more time for themselves to become more self-aware and mindful of the environment we're exposed to. This is a double-edged sword because being stuck within our own minds for too long will stagnant personal growth. We need new experiences and external stimulation to learn more about the world out there in order to feel compelled to be alive in the present moment. Social anxiety to me is a detachment of what's happening in the present moment, and the lack of understanding or acceptance in how we got there in the first place. Regrets of the past and fears of the future will only do you more harm than good, and that's typically how I conditioned myself to be awkward at times around people, regardless if they're strangers, or friends/family. It's crazy how a bit of alcohol can turn a switch off from overthinking, so that I can focus more on the present. That alone, completely alters the framing of the situation I once was in and essentially I became more engaged with the people around me. Being in social environments is absolutely necessary for long-term health, but the intention of being there should be genuine. I don't think going out with the goal of making friends is productive nor effective. For the most part, I believe friends are just on the surface level. People will rarely find those they 'click' with and be around for their entire lifetime. Most friends just happens to be in the same situation as you, and are able to bond with you in the limited time of that environment such as schools, work, etc. as required. As time goes by, people are separated to pursue their own careers, and purpose in life. We lose contact with them and it's perfectly fine as all good things will come to an end, much like how life works. The memories we formed with those friends will probably last a lifetime, and it paints a picture of how everyone will change, and respond to change hopefully for the better. I think many people have certain expectations of themselves, or it can be the people around them. It's difficult to internalize everyone's perceptive in life because that's just one of the best ways to understand someone on a deeper level. I'm Chinese born Canadian, so the culture differences among my family will be drastic on how people traverse life in modern times. Making meaningful connections with people in this digital age is a huge challenge. We gaze into the life of others far too often, and it distorts reality into a battle of recognition. I think it's quite easy to spot so called loners, and enjoy their company. The need of external validation is hardly apparent, and the way experiences are internalized is likely more genuine. Stay strong everyone, and enjoy the journey by every step of the way.
Wow, I stumbled on your channel and your words at 26 struck a chord with me at 58. So proud of your self reflection and understanding. It took me a long time to realize that bar talk and superficial friendships were too exhausting and defeating and that I am just fine entertaining myself!
I can relate to this video so much. For most of my life I've always been a loner, extreme shy, and suffered from social anxiety. I have had friends in my past, but as years went on things fell off with people who I thought were my friends. Years ago I use to hate being by my self and didn't do the things I wanted to do because I didn't have people to do it with. I'm 26 now and I don't wait for anybody to do anything with, I take myself on solo dates, I have self care days and I love it. It brings me so much peace and more confidence within myself. Years ago I wouldn't have been able to do a lot of the things today because I didn't have the courage to. But there are things I'm working on each day.
I had social anxiety during my school years because I also saw I was different from the other kids too. I never fit in and constantly felt self concious. Although now I've grown to detach too but really still in the process of getting where you are. This video was a great inspiration for me to keep growing. Thanks 😊
33 year old here and I had the same realization you did around 25. Once you realize how awesome it is being a loner it becomes addicting. Also grew up with a similar childhood as far as changing schools and districts lol
Quiet and solitude are very addicting ! A word of warning though - if you are near middle age and get addicted to solitude the odds of going back to your more social life is very slim
i have no friends and im 24, but im slowly learning how to be with myself and love myself fully, i know i will find the right ppl soon, but for now,...im okay. thank you for your lovely video! Uk subscriber x
I very much relate to this! At some point I learned to thoroughly enjoy being alone and now it is my default setting. As an introvert it certainly helps, although I do enjoy meeting other introverts and those who also describe themselves as loners as well. To have deep conversations with a small circle of friends vastly outweighs any surface level conversations with a high quantity of "friends".
I think its about having a friend who is compatible with your own social tolerance. I have one friend whom we hang out once every month or two, pair up on trips and conventions etc... but otherwise I'm on my own. I don't like texting everyday or hanging out every week, neither does she. I don't think I would be happy if I didn't have her
Good morning. I just came across your video. Wise words young lady. There is a silent majority out there you have given a voice to. I have lived life with the exact narrative you have articulated. Continued happiness in Toronto.
I’m also a loner who only has a boyfriend/fiancé. I’m really self conscious about this because he has quite a bit of friends. I’ve accepted that I probably won’t have any real friends ever. I have expressed this insecurity to my fiancé, and he’s perfectly fine with it. This might sound really shallow, but I’m still really anxious about the wedding. I won’t have people on my side except my family. I don’t even know where to find a maid of honour.
Do a very small snug special wedding where its only family very close friends of your husband. The smaller the better :) I mean you could even pass wedding unless you really want it
Hello! Not sure if you had your wedding yet, but my partner and I don’t have friends either and we decided to elope to avoid the hassle of the problems you mentioned! At the end of the day, it is a special day for you and your partner, no one else! So might as well elope! ☺️
Your words was just what I needed to hear this early Saturday morning 🙏 Thank you .I’m so happy I came across your channel 💫 definitely brightened up my spirits . I felt I could relate in so many ways . I feel so much comfortable now after this about going and doing things by myself so I’m going to try . There was years I wouldn’t travel or go do things by myself but I really should have . Happiness definitely can come from within and this helped me so much . I remember having “friends “ in past but it was all very much on the surface and felt more lonely somehow . Hope life is sweet to you ! ( and to everyone here as well )
I’ve been a guy who’s had a ton of friends through his life I can tell you my life got exponentially better when I stopped, tying my self-worth to my group of friends, and they would be classified as a good influence, but there are things we do for social pressures that don’t serve us personally
I don't know how this appeared on my TH-cam but this was so relatable. I've had childhood traumas regarding friends and that carried on throughout high school, college and university. With my luck I've never really had good friends especially ones who would have your back but as I'm growing up i do realise that we do need friends because it gets really lonely so you need someone to lean on or hang out with.
This video spoke to me! I definitely struggled with this growing up, and even now. Middle/high school was the worst for my anxiety and I used to skip lunch because of it. I moved every 3 years and started looking at people as temporary. As an adult, knowing this, if there are people around whose company I enjoy, I try to be as intentional as I can be, even though I still struggle with normal friend “requirements”. Checking up, conversing often, asking to do things? Those never cross my mind because idk how to be a worthy friend and see those actions as being a bother a lot of the time. I do a lot of things alone because of this, and probably hang onto boyfriends a bit longer than I should as well 😅
wow this comment really resonated with me, especially about “normal friend requirements” and hanging onto relationships 😅 thank you for sharing and watching ❤️
I thought that it was me, that I needed to converse more and ask friends to do things more often. But when I did this, they would just flake out and give me the "I'm busy" responses, then eventually ghosting me altogether. Everyone does this. So I think that was not the problem.
I was always a social person but when my wife died 20 yr. ago I have pretty much been a loner (recluse,hermit) but what I have found is the peace of being alone and the freedom .I have played guitar and violin for 50 yrs. and have learned more and have had time to practice more in the past 20 yrs. You seem really bright+ and have discovered that we don't need someone to complete us .I once heard it said " if you live alone and feel lonely it's because you don't like the company you're keeping"
I’m glad I found you here. I’m the one who struggled with loneliness my friend used to text a lot but now they don’t. Unless it necessary , nobody will text. Of course they said “the older you get, the less you worried. Now I don’t really have friends but that’s fine. I’m happy with being alone!
I totally relate to everything you’ve been through! For many years I’ve tried to just ignore it but now that I’m an adult I really see how the trauma has affected my ability to keep and even make friends. I no longer have a desire to have many friends and I value my peace so much! I’m just working on being the most authentic version of myself. The version that embraces who and what I’ve been hiding in order to make friends. I’m so grateful to be in a long term relationship with someone that loves and accepts me to the point where I don’t feel the need for validation from anyone anymore. Thank you for sharing your story I pray that in time I’ll share mine xxx
For a long time I didn’t know people had “party friends”. They have a place and a season. I appreciate your video. You shouldn’t force things. If it doesn’t flow, let it go.
Making friends and finding a partner in life is a process. Many times it means putting yourself in a situation that may be uncomfortable. This is a good thing! Uncomfortable places are where the real growth happens. It also allows you to meet people you wouldn't have the chance to meet otherwise. Good points Celine! Keep putting out the good content!
yea ive only just noticed this recently. im 27 and never had a gf and only have like 2 close friends that ive had since school. ever since i graduated school ive just worked and then gone home. i never really go out much at all so i never meet anyone. no wonder ive never had a gf. i just dont really have many interests or hobbies. theres not much that i want to do most days. like during the work week, ill think about how nice it would be to have friends to do things with and how i need to join a club or something but then the weekend rolls around and i just dont want to go outside and do anything. id rather just sit and play video games or watch a livestream/youtube all day. idk when its just going to hit me or maybe its just going to be a super long process of years and years and then maybe i might meet someone.
Thank you for being open about this subject! The coolest thing about it is you admit what none of us are strong enough to admit! So many people feel this way including myself at times. You are definitely not alone with this!
i think most people have normal friends (classmates from college, high school) but when it comes to really close friends whom we can really go deeper and to speak using our hearts, i seriously have none. The best is to learn to be alone as we come alone, we will eventually leave alone as well.
I love this! I love being by myself, I appreciate my alone time. I don’t have friends where I live right now (well just one, but not the same compared to bffs). It’s hard for me to make friends and my coworkers might think I’m a loner coz I don’t like eating in the staff room but I just love being by myself! Thank you for this!
ahhh I find myself the same about lunch with coworkers too at times! it's not personal, but being alone can be more enjoyable, and that's perfectly fine. glad it resonated with you 💗
Hi, I had a very similar experience… growing up mostly a loner, then in college years I finally found a lot of friends or even found myself a bit popular but still I felt the same! I still felt so lonely even with people around. At least in America a lot of friendships are at surface level unfortunately. A sense of belonging doesn’t come just from having people cling to you.. I agree!! I decided after all this to be more careful about who I let close, for my mental health, due to being highly sensitive person anyway .. I learned in Thailand that eating alone isn’t so weird. I feel so much more Alive now
Growing up I had so much friends but what’s the worst feeling? Being surrounded with tons of people yet feeling so alone. Best feeling? Being alone but not feeling lonely. Love the vid.
At the end of day, be true to yourself. No matter what anyone thinks negatively because they wish to be a shining star. You’re a positive influence to some of us can relate. Stay blessed Celine! Continue doing more contents.
I grew up without friends and the more I think about it the more I realize it was because people treated me differently at a very young age. Almost every interaction I've ever had especially at younger ages were incredibly uncomfortable and awkward. What would confuse me about it was that I never had any prior interactions with family or friends of siblings that treated me like I was, "special". As a kid you don't really think other than, huh, that was weird. As I started getting a bit older I was like maybe I just have that personality, maybe I just don't get how to interact with people. So I accepted it but kind of grew up unhappy. Even as I got older during highschool, not my greatest self, but still definitely had this same exact feeling all the way up until I turned 28. Looking back at things I think I know what went on, and I don't think I'm as "introverted" or "anti-social" as I once thought. Idunno maybe you can relate, I wonder how many kids grew up under similar circumstances as me where their situation is what made that person appear that way, not that they were actually that way. If anything it taught me to remember to remain in objective reality, people are really good actors, you can't let human subjectiveness affect objective reality.
Honestly spending time with yourself is great sometimes. I learned to enjoy my lunches and dinner alone a few years ago, it is so much easier because you don't need to entertain anyone other than yourself and you don't need to guess what you like cause you know what you like. Peace and quiet is needed to reset sometimes.
I'm almost double your age and didn't discover this until I was in my early forties. Spent many years fighting against a natural inclination so that I could 'fit in' and not be judged by people as 'antisocial', secretive, loner, and all the other negatively charged adjectives that people would use to describe me from time to time. Nowadays, when I meet people I quite quickly let them know that I'm not very social. The reaction is often surprise because, you know, you're not supposed to say things like that. Sometimes I even preface that statement with " I know you're not supposed to say it, but...", and then I tell them. I used to think that the universe would implode if I told people this, but after a while, you realize that nothing happens at all. Such a relief to be honest about it.
Thank you for this video, never felt so relatable before especially with never feeling close to any "surface level friends". I think the algorithm is blessing you because it seems to be popping up in random people's feed (myself included) and YT knows many of us are loners and can relate. We loners need to accept that it isn't a bad thing! 😮
Hi. I just wanted to say thank you for this. It takes tremendous courage to discuss this stuff in public and I commend you for allowing others to hear your story - I know I feel less alone in hearing it. This was in my recommended and I was blown away as I watched bc I’ve been through so much of what you talked about here! I also switched schools in elementary over 6 times (not due to moving, I have unstable parents and was forced to leave my friends until I no longer had any). Continued even through high school to be moved around. And I totally relate to what I also call “surface friends” as I have tons of those. And for people like us, it looks like we’re the life of the party and always having so much fun. In reality, it’s so lonely. No one cares on my birthday or holidays. Those “friends” disappear. I’m so glad you seem to be at peace with your situation. I’m still working on that with mine. Sorry for rambling, I’m just so happy to hear someone be so real & relatable - it means more than words can say.
Lifelong lone wolf. You're so gorgeous and intelligent! Your example on Toronto is what has happened to me in Portland, OR 2020-2022. I built up so much shame in myself though that it got out of control and then I began drinking. Which I never had a problem with before. Whew. Now I'm starting to settle down inside a bit. Thanks for this. Loners are more valuable than we think.
Appreciate your honesty. For the young people who live in nyc or other cities. Relationships both friendships and romance are such an amazing part of the adventure. Having a great romance in a city can be so inspirational and creates life long incredibly special memories. Having great friends will create a different kind of inspiration, connection, emotional growth and understanding and so much more . With that being said I’m on more of the loner side as well and I hate when people try and impose there strategies for life on me so in no way am I saying “you need friends or romance “ I’m simply saying they can add a lot to life
Your backstory really resonates with me! I also had a very similar experience and it does take a big toll on our self confidence. I almost carry this automatic fear or assumption when I meet new people to this day. I still feel myself anxiously trying to cater to new people to make sure they would at least like me. Just wanted to leave a comment because your childhood really sounds like mine 🥺 thanks for sharing!
The best way you have done in your life. Friend´s turn you addicted, dependable, unhappy. Alone you are bold, peaceful, good tempered, happy with almost nothing, You know how valuable you are. You are a great person, non popular is better. Thank you for sharing your cause, and love. Blessings from Panamá.
I've tried to unnormalize peer pressure in my life and to practice self reflection. I think it makes me a better person who empathizes more with people even if I don't have many friends. You're never alone if you're doing what you want to.
Good video! I wasn't looking for this content, but being older and growing up with many of the same experiences, I found I could really relate to much of what you said. Especially the part about going through that realization where it looks like you have a lot of friends and people you go out with, but they are largely not true friends... The part where you mentioned they are talking about everyone else, so what are they saying about you? The reality is most people who think they have lots of friends only have lots of acquaintances, many of which are quite toxic. That doesn't mean you can't have a good time with them doing stuff you enjoy doing, but at the end of the day, they generally are not true close friends that really care about you. In fact, it's a safe bet most of them wouldn't really go out of their way to help you in a true time of need...
interesting topic, thanks for sharing and the algorithm! the covid lockdowns had me reevaluate the basis of my friendships and my purpose. i was always the person checking in on people, and not the other way around. i was vulnerable with people i trusted, and didn’t get the support from them. and i realized that i will continue to miss out on life and opportunities if i’m waiting for the approval of others. i’ll still invite friends to concerts, hikes, etc, and if they cancel, it’s all good, i’m not going to let others people’s actions affect my emotions. and I’ve met more people doing things alone than when I used to stay in a group. As a bonus, i’ve been sober for 3 years🤗
Wow, I"m so glad I ran across your video my friend. I am 48 years old, but an absolute life-time loner...lol....hey I've never been in a relationship of any kind whatsoever, so I'm glad I'm not alone.....no pun attended....No in all seriousness, I enjoyed what you had to say. I valued everything you had to say. Just subscribed to your channel too.
I'm an introvert, I like both but mostly an introvert, socially, awkward, depression, anxiety. I like being a loner for a lot of reasons. I don't have to hear about drama or be involved, I don't mind helping people but I also need me time because I have my own issues but some of them just keeps coming back for more advices which is fine! but me time to reflect on those I've helped and being proud of just doing anything is a plus. I know I'll never be happy but I can be damn proud of myself and so can many human beings.
True, and if anything they use you to complain and then they ditch you.. it’s extra emotional stress put on you, and they are never there to help you.. nor there to have any deeper conversation.
I appreciate your making this video. I could relate to a lot of the things you talked about. I also moved around and moved schools a lot growing up and have been mostly a loner type person. I can also relate to the idea of being a loner but then gaining friends. And then since the pandemic, I too have felt like my social life has drastically been reduced to virtually 0%. This video is a good reminder that it's okay to be someone who spends their time mostly alone. On social media there is a lot of pressure to be social or have a lot of pals and best friends whom you hang out with all the time. I think this is especially true if you do have a social "scene" or community that you are, or once were, a part of. You make a good point about the importance of having to make the effort to be more social. This is one of the things I've found to be quite challenging lately, but it is a good reminder to hear. What you say about seeking out social events without feeling like it's something you HAVE to do is another good point. I also like that you seem to have found a platform to express your creativity for yourself. As a person who has always felt a bit apart, I have often struggled with the internal doubts that what I might have to say is even important or worth saying. There is that part that asks, "Who would even care? What would even be the point of putting anything out there?" Sometimes it is to the point where I don't even know what it is I am wanting to say. So in that sense, I think it is very cool and inspiring that you have created a platform for yourself. I would definitely be interested to hear if you have any strategies for your creative process, or if you have struggled with similar type of questions/doubts. Anyways, thanks for making a cool video.
Interestingly, as a Veteran; I moved around a lot and got out of the military where I had tons of friends and moved to a place I was unfamiliar with. So for the last 4ish years; I been on my own doing my own thing. I’m an introvert, so I’m good by myself, but the sense of loneliness was real in the first two or so years. I love being by myself now, and I have a dog to keep me company. I love videos like this 💪🏽
Just stumbled on this vid. Thanks for sharing, definitely hit home. Some days, feels like I have lots of friends, but other times, there's not one person I would want to talk to.....and you've made it seem that IT IS OK, just to want to be with yourself.
As someone who has a lot of friends (not because im cool like that, but because my high school was a tight-knit group and I still live in the same city)... I started to find so much happiness being alone in the past year. There's something about learning to love time with yourself, that allows you see what really makes you happy. Also, you're so pretty, I'm sure girls are threatened by you, tbh. I say that because through the years, I've been able to distance myself from toxic friendships where my success somehow made them feel a certain way. I feel like real friends should genuinely be happy when you succeed. When they don't, they typically have their own issues they need to work though before they could be a good friend - or person for that matter. Officially requesting a Solo Date Vlog haha. Also, mic sounds great!
I found it SO bizarre when people switch up on you for doing well and finding success! 1000% agree that's a huge red flag of a toxic friendship, true friends should be cheering each other on + be there when things aren't going well, no one should make you feel like you need to dim your own light. the girls being threatened thing... that can be a a whole other video lolol. thank you for sharing your story 💗 and YES I've added a solo date vlog to the list ☺️
Staying alone never makes me feel lonely, trying to fit in with ppl does, never finding friends is essential. it feels like a waste of time to make one.
Wow I loveddd this. I related to so much of what you said - like to a shocking level lol (from feeling like you didn’t belong as a kid, to the “glow up” and surface level friendships, to prioritizing your peace and hoping for high quality deeper friendships in the future). Was very nice to see somebody feels similarly!! also love seeing a sit down vid from you and hearing more of ur thoughts, excited to see that podcast one day 🫶🏼
I’m so glad to hear that it resonated with you too! 💗 it’s easy to feel like we’re all alone in these experiences, but I’m realizing many of us have experienced our own versions of not belonging and friendship challenges. this definitely gave me more motivation to get going on a podcast 🫶🫶
To be honest. People this generation don’t know how to be social. Everyone pretty awkward. When you get older you realize you need less friends and not important anymore. You want to be around people with great mindset and similar goals. Saves you a lot of drama and you have a peaceful and successful life. It is healthy to have some close friends to speak to from time to time. If you need a friend to talk to I can be there for you. Have a great day! 😊
I'm 49 and I'm extremely introverted. I'm constantly protecting my peace because people at work are always invasive and crowding my space. I'm up for a good conversation but the small talk and just constantly babbling without letting say a word is incredibly draining. Now I have to put on noise canceling earbuds to be in my own space. I know why I am like this and it's definitely because of my traumatic childhood. I've come to love myself and my personal space. Currently I am sidelined from work for 3 months with a leg injury and I love this time to be alone. I am proud of my lifestyle and will protect it at all cost. Being an introvert/loner is not a curse. It's a superpower. You observe and take notice of a lot things that others don't know about. Also living peacefully is an extraordinary gift that most would love to harness but if they had it would crumble because they would feel lonely and depressed. I feel like I'm part of an elite class of people. Thank you for sharing your video
Fully accepting ourselves and the ability to be comfortably alone are necessary to become the best version of ourselves. However, socially isolating oneself can also be problematic because having significant self-awareness (which is a cornerstone of inner peace) also requires regular interactions with others who invariably provide alternative perceptions. If your goal is to achieve inner peace and a greater sense of happiness, then engaging in somewhat intimate (not necessarily sexual) relationships/conversations is needed if only on a limited basis. Those people who have been harmed by others, especially during formative years generally must manage these interactions carefully to avoid the rekindling of painful past experiences. However, risking that pain (again) is necessary albiet with precautions. Having peace inside leads to so many positive behaviors to include assisting others in a genuine way and also enables a person to achieve long term, intimate relationships. GL on your journey.
Girl, this was just the video I needed too!! I’d totally be your friend 🫶 I too am more introverted than anything, and making friends has been a hard thing for me as well. I’m very picky about my energy and who I let into my life. And I’ve grown to find more peace in this, despite feeling like I too didn’t belong much✨ sending so much love to you! ❤
When I saw this video I immediately clicked on it, I knew it would shine some light on the past, very, difficult months for me. As a low-energy teenager in her first year of high school, I found myself alone frequently. I found that I became tired more easily, and so I’d have some time being individual; away from the crowds and people in general. I know being alone isn’t bad, and I often felt so okay with being alone. However, I quickly picked up a mindset that I’d “die alone” if I didn’t sit with people at lunch, or if I didn’t hang out with anyone after school etc etc. Then, my eyes narrowed in on the fact that I “didn’t have” as many “friends” as the other people in my grade, and this all made me so anxious. This is all most likely due by my strong need for conformity. Honestly, this video really helped. Seeing someone older than me, someone successful, confident and well-spoken, coming out of a problem I’m currently dealing with really, truly, made me have hope again! Thank you so much 💕💕
I've been an introvert all my life. Had friends in high school, but a few good ones only. Now, no real friends, just acquaintances. It's not social anxiety per se, it's more like "I don't want to deal with the complexities of having and managing a friends circle lol". Never bored alone. I always have projects I'm working on. I also consider myself a social extravert. If I convince myself to show up at a social event, I'm the life of the party... but then I need to recharge alone like for 3 days lol
loneliness, social anxiety, making friends as an adult… we really got into it today 🥹 let me know if you can relate and if you’d like to see more videos like this ✨
So excited to watch xxx
❤️❤️
Hi Celine loved it , definitely need more
Celine, first time watching your videos. This video reminds me of a quote- alone vs lonely. You can be in a room full of people and not be alone, but you can feel lonely because of lack of connection. I can relate to this as someone who has struggled with connection, but I have learned to make it my life mission to make more connection, to be more vulnerable and to take risks, and although I still lonely at times, I think this new mindset has allowed me to be more connected to everyone I connected with because I let myself be vulnerable. You have lots of people watching these videos for a reason, and I think at the core of it we all want some connection, whether it is people or to self. Be yourself and dont worry too much abt other ppl opinion and what they think of you. You are enough, you matter. Just some random thoughts as I watched ur video. ❤
I can relate ❤
I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.
HOW TRUE!!
A lot of people are unaware that they make choices that lead them to be unhappy.
This.. 🙌🏼
Me!
True
Life is so much better when you realize you don't need other people to be happy. Finding happiness within yourself and not needing the approval of friends is true happiness.
I agree
So true, I don’t have any close friends either and I’m pretty ok with that, I’m at peace frfr
AGREED
That cope
I agree to that
if you travel alone, eat alone, or do stuff alone, you got 100% freedom of time, location, and activity. i love it.
I wouldn’t have it any other way. Always travel by myself since I was 20 now 76.
I always feel very lonely before like I really need to talk to someone so being alone for a while can give me a lot of freedom but I can’t stand being alone for long periods of time
@@baeldaikokuten_yj6792 Being a lone traveller doesn’t mean you don’t talk to ppl. It just means you’re free to be with ppl or not.
The bad thing about being with yourself all the time is doing whatever you want, I always do that so my patience with what others want to do is null
Yup
I’m a lone wolf. It’s a super power. People don’t realize that if you’re comfortable alone, you’re comfortable with anything.
lmao
people cannot accept the truth 😂
You are alone and comfortable becuase you are able to overcome your boredom by using mobile phones also if you are not passionate or have no hobbies then their is no option except scroll through your mobile all day. We think we are not alone becuase we have this phones, in real we are extremely lonely:(
@@shakthi9524 I bike and out in nature 100% of the time I’m not working 😂
TOTALLY AGREED!
Friendship should not be a superficial experience. An authentic friendship is a completely different experience.
Superficial and charismatic people can be betrayers as well.
Sadly that's true.
I was about to say if it is superficial, they are an accointance, not a friend
A therapist taught me that there are different types of friends. Group 1 is the people you are willing to be vulnerable with and you know you can trust. This will always be a small group. Group 2 is a larger group of people whom you are just "friendly" with and will occasionally meet with at social functions, events or dinners. Group 3 is a much larger group who are people you know and like, but they are more like casual acquaintances. The key point is that Group 2 and Group 3 friends are still important to cultivate, just realize who fits into which group and don’t have unrealistic expectations.
I like this. The problem is many of us don’t have the “Group 1” friends whom we are willing to be vulnerable with. Surface level friendships are easier to cultivate than deep, close friendships.
My group 1 is in the country I grew up in, I have one group 1 friend here in USA but she moved to a state far away, so WhatsApp is my only way of being with my true friends. I don't really have a group 2, I have a big group 3, I have 4 children and I work full time so I don't have the energy or desire to spend time in what at the moment seems superfluous activities with people who are nice and I appreciate but drain too much of the energy I need for my children and my home
@@solstice1681 May I ask which region of the world you are from?
@@daniela_5542 It is a REAL challenge. I don't want to sound mean, but a lot of people are very shallow and not very introspective. Someone has to be introspective, mature and trustworthy, which really narrows down the pool of potential close friends.
@@ChiefsFanInSC from South America
"I realize I cant sit around and let life pass-by because I don't have friends to do things with, so if I want to do things, I'll go do them." Really resonated with me. Great Video Celine. :^)
Agreed, this was nice.
glad to hear it resonated with you, thanks for watching 🙌
Are there only childs here? As an only child and distant from parents always relied heavily on my relationships
And I love it!!!
Still have to go live your life even if you’re alone!!!!
As a someone in their mid-20s who doesn't want to drink anymore and also lives in a big city (NYC) I learned that sticking to my values and not conforming to social pressure makes me happier than trying to fit in. You'll learn who your true friends are this way and keep toxic people out.
22 from India in the same exact boat. Our values will go a long way I’m sure we will be looking back laughing at our young selves for being absolutely correct about our situations and doing our best.
I was in my late 20s when going out and drinking alcohol just stopped being fun .. so I stopped drinking and going out and immediately
Noticed my social circle change .. gone were about 90% of my friends . I’ve tried making new ones but I just have no desire to go over to someone house and drink beer on their deck or go to their kids bday party. I’d rather just take my dog out for a nice long walk
In the woods - much better and no energy is drained
@@brianmeen2158I'm 25 and never got out in my life and never drank. I just did not like that culture at all. So my social circle is almost non existent but i could not care less. I know my morals and respect myself.
@@eliava2098sounds like my kind of woman.
oh dude same boat - mid 20's in nyc and literally no friends - unless people need something like discounts from me kek. my only best friend moved out cuz he hated the city life --now we both miss each other and our weekly hikes lol
The greatest friend you will ever have is a book in your hands. It's literally the thoughts and ideas of someone youve never met but whove reached out to you from decades ago
Wow ❤
Wow ❤
another thing that crossed my mind is that in this age of social media , acquaintance is being equated to friendship .
As a loner.. I agree that this lifestyle will help you be the best version of you. You'll know when you are ready to share your life with someone and when you are ready the experience will be magnificent.
I love the fact that I'm alone but I also get teary knowing I'm alone all the time
It's a real strength being comfortable, and even be able to enjoy, your own company. It means when you do meet people you'll be less inclined to put up with poor behaviour as you're not desperate for company.
Exactly this 💯
YESSSSS 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
No it's not a strength. It makes you anti-social and you end up losing skills to interact with others in the process.
🙌🏽
Yup
I AM SO HAPPY YOU TALKED ABOUT THIS TOPIC!! I think esp with social media, people are so concerned about how many "likes" or "followers" or "friends they have by posting photos and such. But AT THE END OF THE DAY, who will BE BY YOUR SIDE at your hospital bed? Think about it. Thank you Celine! Look forward to your content!
Yes I almost died this year and I was so surprised by who was there for me and who wasn't.
@@MrNorthbees I hope you are doing better now. It truly is a blessing in disguise.
Even when you feel like you’re alone, you’re not really alone. There’s life all around you, there’s nature and there are forces beyond our understanding. You can stay spiritually connected without knowing the people you are connected to.
About to be 49. I've been a loner my whole life. Never was interested in getting high or getting drunk or sleeping with a bunch of women. In my experience, friends will disappoint you. Sure, I've dated and have had girlfriends. But for me, life is simpler when you don't have to acquiesce to social pressure. It's a small slice of heaven.
AMEN.
So r u still single and childless? Bc I'm a loner too and looking for someone tho😅
I have come to this realization when I was in highschool. My “friends” would never really ask me anything, “how was I, how’s my day” nothing. I was always the one to create the conversation looking for some time of bond. Like you said, a deeper layer and nothing. Most of my “friends” didn’t even know the basic layer of me. I’ve never really cared of what others thought of me but it did create some sort of wall over time and made it harder to trust with deeper emotion convos. I’m a talker so I can talk about almost anything but not in the way I want. Now when people want to talk to me they expect me to be there and listen and hear them out. Most definitely not the other way around. Struggled with this for a very long time. Even after marriage and kids. Made me feel like I’m the type of person they use and not connect with. I have come to terms of enjoying my alone time and actually rather spend time with certain family members outside my husband and kids. Literally a few cousins. Like 3. And once in a long while. I also have come to realize I’ve become a homebody. I like to socialize but really enjoy being home and being at peace with GOD and my family. Thank you for video. It was really good.
My parents moved around constantly every year. Whenever i moved, i had to start again. And then before i was to start high school, my parents moved back to pakistan. It was a huge culture shock. Plus my dad is a huge gas lighter who would force me to mingle with kids of his friends who i couldn't get along with and they had an allowance. I would be forced to hangout with them at a cafe, but couldn't get anything myself. Plus they were up to date with all trends. Felt out of place with them. When i came back to canada i felt like a fob. And then the trend of moving around continued. I can't be superficial with people. I need deep connections with people with common hobbies. I finally was able to put my foot down when i decided to stay in ottawa, on. There my wife and i didn't have others. But at least we were at peace.
same, it's always me who starts a conversion, who actively listens and keeps the convo going while the other person doesn't pull the weight, doesn't reciprocate, they rather there be an awkward silence than them asking me questions
it's either these type of people or people who monopolize the time with their monologues and, same like the first group, don't want to connect with me but just want me to listen to them
nowadays I stopped putting in the energy, if the other person doesn't know how to communicate than I'm out
my therapist told me that I should teach people how to communicate I said HELL NO I'm not their mommy nor their therapist, they're grown, if grown adults don't know how to communicate then that's their problem
This is true lots of people are really shallow and don’t form meaningful connections
Wow what you said totally speaks to me. No one is ever asks me anything. They do all the talking and are just superficial. Ugh. I hate that, I really want a deep and true friendship. Just doesn’t seem to be meant to happen in this lifetime.
God is you! manifest your desires by playing it out in your head,just the way you imagine you would want it to be,play the scenario over,and over,and over,with as much detail as you can possibly put into your final outcome,and I mean every tiny detail,and start living your life,as though it were real,and it will become real.
Trust me,there is no God,as an all mighty being,God is in you,it is your imagination.
Your Imagination is very powerful,plaese don't put any negativity in your imagination,as you will manifest that too.
quality over quantity
Or someone that doesn't know how to socialize.
When you realize you're friends are fake and in genuine, You're gutted at first but then relieved when they're gone. Thank you for sharing your experience
It proves great strength that you accept yourself as you are right now, without friends. The best friend you can have is yourself. Once you've accepted that, you will radiate your happiness and might even draw people who are like-minded and can become friends, without you being dependent on them.
I moved to a new city years ago and I was frantically trying to find new friends. No matter how hard I tried, it did not work. Once I let the idea go and started working on myself, I became a better version of myself. Some time later, I started volunteering for the company I still volunteer for now. Suddenly I was surrounded by these like-minded, nice people. A few years later I had more friends than I had actually time and energy for.
The point was not about "accepting yourself and stop trying to make friends". That's the same thing they tell people about relationships. But you have to stick to your interests and your values while finding a way to involve yourself with new people. You like to cook? Climb? Fotopgraph? Yoga? Finances? You will find for literally ANY INTEREST even a si gle person activity such as readying a club and community as lomg as you don't live in the middle of nowhere. Go seek out the community that shares your interest and don't just drop it if you didn't connect at the first meeting with anyone. Maybe next time someone else will show up you click with. Maybe you end up being an acointance to someone in that club or class and that person introduces you to someone else they know with who you truly connect!
I was mostly doing flexibility training my own for YEARS until I finnally found an acro community in my town I joined. It took 2 years but now I found a training partner who I just soent holidays with. Am I super close with someone from there? No to be honest it just didn't happen. But I for sure spend most my freetime with people I met through that club and found my real pssion of cheer stunting and have the best time of my life sharing my passion for sport with other people.
Even while I don't connect on a personal level with them it truyl satisfies my need for positive interactions with other people. And if it was true friendship I was seeking there I would have probably been digging deeper with some of them but I already do have 2 close friends that are more than enough for me.
As a 53 year old woman it took a lot longer to learn the lessons you have learned. You amaze me with your wisdom Celine! You will be just fine with whatever happens because you know how human nature is. People will betray and switch up at the drop of a hat...knowing that, protecting yourself and knowing you are just fine ALONE is the gold standard! Please do more videos of you imparting what you have learned. You are a natural talent that I could watch all day long! Well spoken and classy too! Thanks Celine❤
So true, some people befriend with you to fill up their time, when you need them they are gone as fast as a wind. It took me a long time to realise my time is too precious to waste on this type of people.
Same age (although male) and like yourself it took me longer to come to the same conclusions. I suspect social media has made it easier to see this more quickly today. Either way I've realized there are very few people in this world that actually give a crap about anyone else, and even fewer that will inconvenience themselves to help a friend in a time of need. The few that will, cherish them!
You are so right and are mature great video I enjoyed it and learned from it thank you
I need genuine people in my life. This is all I want. Someone who is the same in front of me, and behind my back.
I think there’s a stigma that gets attached to Loners like us a lot, like if you don’t have what society deems as having enough friends, that there’s something wrong with you, when usually there really isn’t and people don’t always realize so they feel pressured by their peers or out of feelin really lonely so they’lll end up with the Wrong company.mIts best to have just a Few friends who are really genuine than many who aren’t that close.
I don't have any friends and I never truly did. All my "friends" were fake, would talk about me behind my back constantly. It was always a competition. Thank you for this
Me too, I don’t have any truly friends,
I guess I’m lucky enough to have friends who genuinely care about me
You will meet the right friends for you when you least expect it there is genuine people out there ❤chin up
🎯💯
I have been a lone wolf my entire life. As an adult I will go to concerts, sporting events, amusement parks, etc. by myself and have a great time. It started in my childhood as my father left my mother when she was pregnant with me and his family never wanted anything to do with me. My mom's side was poor and a lot of my cousins grew up in foster homes. I am now college educated and have a successful career. Being alone is my comfort zone and I never cared about what others think.
Kind of reminds me of a Keanu Reeves quote, "once you know how to take care of yourself, company becomes an option and not a necessity."
When people suffer from mental and emotional illness, it's really hard to actually feel happy and satisfied when you take care of yourself
This hits home for me. Self-reflection is something many people are unable to do because they are so distracted with life. The distractions can be anything in life, and only amplifies as life carries on with more responsibilities as a working, and function adult in society. So called loners essentially have more time for themselves to become more self-aware and mindful of the environment we're exposed to. This is a double-edged sword because being stuck within our own minds for too long will stagnant personal growth. We need new experiences and external stimulation to learn more about the world out there in order to feel compelled to be alive in the present moment.
Social anxiety to me is a detachment of what's happening in the present moment, and the lack of understanding or acceptance in how we got there in the first place. Regrets of the past and fears of the future will only do you more harm than good, and that's typically how I conditioned myself to be awkward at times around people, regardless if they're strangers, or friends/family. It's crazy how a bit of alcohol can turn a switch off from overthinking, so that I can focus more on the present. That alone, completely alters the framing of the situation I once was in and essentially I became more engaged with the people around me. Being in social environments is absolutely necessary for long-term health, but the intention of being there should be genuine. I don't think going out with the goal of making friends is productive nor effective.
For the most part, I believe friends are just on the surface level. People will rarely find those they 'click' with and be around for their entire lifetime. Most friends just happens to be in the same situation as you, and are able to bond with you in the limited time of that environment such as schools, work, etc. as required. As time goes by, people are separated to pursue their own careers, and purpose in life. We lose contact with them and it's perfectly fine as all good things will come to an end, much like how life works. The memories we formed with those friends will probably last a lifetime, and it paints a picture of how everyone will change, and respond to change hopefully for the better. I think many people have certain expectations of themselves, or it can be the people around them. It's difficult to internalize everyone's perceptive in life because that's just one of the best ways to understand someone on a deeper level. I'm Chinese born Canadian, so the culture differences among my family will be drastic on how people traverse life in modern times.
Making meaningful connections with people in this digital age is a huge challenge. We gaze into the life of others far too often, and it distorts reality into a battle of recognition. I think it's quite easy to spot so called loners, and enjoy their company. The need of external validation is hardly apparent, and the way experiences are internalized is likely more genuine. Stay strong everyone, and enjoy the journey by every step of the way.
Wow, I stumbled on your channel and your words at 26 struck a chord with me at 58. So proud of your self reflection and understanding. It took me a long time to realize that bar talk and superficial friendships were too exhausting and defeating and that I am just fine entertaining myself!
I can relate to this video so much. For most of my life I've always been a loner, extreme shy, and suffered from social anxiety. I have had friends in my past, but as years went on things fell off with people who I thought were my friends. Years ago I use to hate being by my self and didn't do the things I wanted to do because I didn't have people to do it with. I'm 26 now and I don't wait for anybody to do anything with, I take myself on solo dates, I have self care days and I love it. It brings me so much peace and more confidence within myself. Years ago I wouldn't have been able to do a lot of the things today because I didn't have the courage to. But there are things I'm working on each day.
Really good video . Most people live in this delusional bubble and have forgotten what ‘real friends’ are .
I had social anxiety during my school years because I also saw I was different from the other kids too. I never fit in and constantly felt self concious. Although now I've grown to detach too but really still in the process of getting where you are. This video was a great inspiration for me to keep growing. Thanks 😊
33 year old here and I had the same realization you did around 25. Once you realize how awesome it is being a loner it becomes addicting. Also grew up with a similar childhood as far as changing schools and districts lol
Quiet and solitude are very addicting ! A word of warning though - if you are near middle age and get addicted to solitude the odds of going back to your more social life is very slim
Same as you as well. I’m 33 too
@@brianmeen2158 Which is a beautiful thing!
It became a bit exhausting too lol
isnt that caleld self isolation
i have no friends and im 24, but im slowly learning how to be with myself and love myself fully, i know i will find the right ppl soon, but for now,...im okay. thank you for your lovely video! Uk subscriber x
I very much relate to this! At some point I learned to thoroughly enjoy being alone and now it is my default setting. As an introvert it certainly helps, although I do enjoy meeting other introverts and those who also describe themselves as loners as well. To have deep conversations with a small circle of friends vastly outweighs any surface level conversations with a high quantity of "friends".
I can relate
I think its about having a friend who is compatible with your own social tolerance. I have one friend whom we hang out once every month or two, pair up on trips and conventions etc... but otherwise I'm on my own. I don't like texting everyday or hanging out every week, neither does she. I don't think I would be happy if I didn't have her
Its beautiful to be alone. To be alone does not mean to be lonely. it means the mind is not influenced and contaminated by society.
Thank you for this video!! I’m ok with no friends. So many superficial friends it’s not easy. I’m trying to find my own peace right now. ❤
Good morning. I just came across your video. Wise words young lady. There is a silent majority out there you have given a voice to. I have lived life with the exact narrative you have articulated. Continued happiness in Toronto.
If I have “friends” who on a deeper level don’t share my core values, they aren’t actual friends… no matter how often they are around etc.
Thank you so much! Reciprocation is truly one of the key factors in friendships and unfortunately it’s not always there.
I’m also a loner who only has a boyfriend/fiancé. I’m really self conscious about this because he has quite a bit of friends. I’ve accepted that I probably won’t have any real friends ever. I have expressed this insecurity to my fiancé, and he’s perfectly fine with it.
This might sound really shallow, but I’m still really anxious about the wedding. I won’t have people on my side except my family. I don’t even know where to find a maid of honour.
I can relate to this 100%. thank you for sharing
Do a very small snug special wedding where its only family very close friends of your husband. The smaller the better :) I mean you could even pass wedding unless you really want it
Hello! Not sure if you had your wedding yet, but my partner and I don’t have friends either and we decided to elope to avoid the hassle of the problems you mentioned! At the end of the day, it is a special day for you and your partner, no one else! So might as well elope! ☺️
Your words was just what I needed to hear this early Saturday morning 🙏 Thank you .I’m so happy I came across your channel 💫 definitely brightened up my spirits . I felt I could relate in so many ways . I feel so much comfortable now after this about going and doing things by myself so I’m going to try . There was years I wouldn’t travel or go do things by myself but I really should have . Happiness definitely can come from within and this helped me so much . I remember having “friends “ in past but it was all very much on the surface and felt more lonely somehow . Hope life is sweet to you ! ( and to everyone here as well )
I feel the same way
I’ve been a guy who’s had a ton of friends through his life I can tell you my life got exponentially better when I stopped, tying my self-worth to my group of friends, and they would be classified as a good influence, but there are things we do for social pressures that don’t serve us personally
The fact that you already know these things at the age of 26 is incredibly powerful. As is teaching it to others. Wish I had known this 10 years ago
I don't know how this appeared on my TH-cam but this was so relatable. I've had childhood traumas regarding friends and that carried on throughout high school, college and university. With my luck I've never really had good friends especially ones who would have your back but as I'm growing up i do realise that we do need friends because it gets really lonely so you need someone to lean on or hang out with.
This is one of the realest videos on TH-cam.
I appreciate it. 🙏
This video spoke to me! I definitely struggled with this growing up, and even now. Middle/high school was the worst for my anxiety and I used to skip lunch because of it. I moved every 3 years and started looking at people as temporary. As an adult, knowing this, if there are people around whose company I enjoy, I try to be as intentional as I can be, even though I still struggle with normal friend “requirements”. Checking up, conversing often, asking to do things? Those never cross my mind because idk how to be a worthy friend and see those actions as being a bother a lot of the time. I do a lot of things alone because of this, and probably hang onto boyfriends a bit longer than I should as well 😅
wow this comment really resonated with me, especially about “normal friend requirements” and hanging onto relationships 😅 thank you for sharing and watching ❤️
I thought that it was me, that I needed to converse more and ask friends to do things more often. But when I did this, they would just flake out and give me the "I'm busy" responses, then eventually ghosting me altogether.
Everyone does this. So I think that was not the problem.
I was always a social person but when my wife died 20 yr. ago I have pretty much been a loner (recluse,hermit) but what I have found is the peace of being alone and the freedom .I have played guitar and violin for 50 yrs. and have learned more and have had time to practice more in the past 20 yrs. You seem really bright+ and have discovered that we don't need someone to complete us .I once heard it said " if you live alone and feel lonely it's because you don't like the company you're keeping"
I’m glad I found you here. I’m the one who struggled with loneliness my friend used to text a lot but now they don’t. Unless it necessary , nobody will text. Of course they said “the older you get, the less you worried. Now I don’t really have friends but that’s fine. I’m happy with being alone!
i go days without getting a text from anyone. 23F college grad working in restaurants. my heart hurts
I totally relate to everything you’ve been through! For many years I’ve tried to just ignore it but now that I’m an adult I really see how the trauma has affected my ability to keep and even make friends. I no longer have a desire to have many friends and I value my peace so much! I’m just working on being the most authentic version of myself. The version that embraces who and what I’ve been hiding in order to make friends. I’m so grateful to be in a long term relationship with someone that loves and accepts me to the point where I don’t feel the need for validation from anyone anymore. Thank you for sharing your story I pray that in time I’ll share mine xxx
For a long time I didn’t know people had “party friends”. They have a place and a season. I appreciate your video. You shouldn’t force things. If it doesn’t flow, let it go.
I just found your channel today, and I am so glad that I did! I love your message, and this is comforting for someone who feels similarly 💗
wow , thats my life story you just told , thank you so much for sharing this , it is so refreshing
Making friends and finding a partner in life is a process. Many times it means putting yourself in a situation that may be uncomfortable. This is a good thing! Uncomfortable places are where the real growth happens. It also allows you to meet people you wouldn't have the chance to meet otherwise. Good points Celine! Keep putting out the good content!
Wow this is so beautifully said 😊
yea ive only just noticed this recently. im 27 and never had a gf and only have like 2 close friends that ive had since school. ever since i graduated school ive just worked and then gone home. i never really go out much at all so i never meet anyone. no wonder ive never had a gf. i just dont really have many interests or hobbies. theres not much that i want to do most days. like during the work week, ill think about how nice it would be to have friends to do things with and how i need to join a club or something but then the weekend rolls around and i just dont want to go outside and do anything. id rather just sit and play video games or watch a livestream/youtube all day. idk when its just going to hit me or maybe its just going to be a super long process of years and years and then maybe i might meet someone.
Thank you for being open about this subject! The coolest thing about it is you admit what none of us are strong enough to admit! So many people feel this way including myself at times. You are definitely not alone with this!
❤️🫶
@@Celinelikedion I would like to be your friend.
i think most people have normal friends (classmates from college, high school) but when it comes to really close friends whom we can really go deeper and to speak using our hearts, i seriously have none. The best is to learn to be alone as we come alone, we will eventually leave alone as well.
The best 'friend' you can have is a long walk in beautiful countryside. It's a tonic and a balm.
I love this! I love being by myself, I appreciate my alone time. I don’t have friends where I live right now (well just one, but not the same compared to bffs). It’s hard for me to make friends and my coworkers might think I’m a loner coz I don’t like eating in the staff room but I just love being by myself! Thank you for this!
ahhh I find myself the same about lunch with coworkers too at times! it's not personal, but being alone can be more enjoyable, and that's perfectly fine. glad it resonated with you 💗
Hi, I had a very similar experience… growing up mostly a loner, then in college years I finally found a lot of friends or even found myself a bit popular but still I felt the same! I still felt so lonely even with people around. At least in America a lot of friendships are at surface level unfortunately. A sense of belonging doesn’t come just from having people cling to you.. I agree!! I decided after all this to be more careful about who I let close, for my mental health, due to being highly sensitive person anyway .. I learned in Thailand that eating alone isn’t so weird. I feel so much more Alive now
Growing up I had so much friends but what’s the worst feeling? Being surrounded with tons of people yet feeling so alone. Best feeling? Being alone but not feeling lonely. Love the vid.
I'm so glad I found this video! I can relate.. tbh its peaceful spending time alone and you can literally sense if someone is being genuine with you.
At the end of day, be true to yourself. No matter what anyone thinks negatively because they wish to be a shining star. You’re a positive influence to some of us can relate. Stay blessed Celine! Continue doing more contents.
Great message. Definitely resonated and have had similar experiences moving to a different city in another country alone, traveling alone, etc.
I grew up without friends and the more I think about it the more I realize it was because people treated me differently at a very young age. Almost every interaction I've ever had especially at younger ages were incredibly uncomfortable and awkward. What would confuse me about it was that I never had any prior interactions with family or friends of siblings that treated me like I was, "special". As a kid you don't really think other than, huh, that was weird. As I started getting a bit older I was like maybe I just have that personality, maybe I just don't get how to interact with people. So I accepted it but kind of grew up unhappy. Even as I got older during highschool, not my greatest self, but still definitely had this same exact feeling all the way up until I turned 28. Looking back at things I think I know what went on, and I don't think I'm as "introverted" or "anti-social" as I once thought. Idunno maybe you can relate, I wonder how many kids grew up under similar circumstances as me where their situation is what made that person appear that way, not that they were actually that way. If anything it taught me to remember to remain in objective reality, people are really good actors, you can't let human subjectiveness affect objective reality.
Honestly spending time with yourself is great sometimes. I learned to enjoy my lunches and dinner alone a few years ago, it is so much easier because you don't need to entertain anyone other than yourself and you don't need to guess what you like cause you know what you like. Peace and quiet is needed to reset sometimes.
I'm almost double your age and didn't discover this until I was in my early forties. Spent many years fighting against a natural inclination so that I could 'fit in' and not be judged by people as 'antisocial', secretive, loner, and all the other negatively charged adjectives that people would use to describe me from time to time.
Nowadays, when I meet people I quite quickly let them know that I'm not very social. The reaction is often surprise because, you know, you're not supposed to say things like that. Sometimes I even preface that statement with " I know you're not supposed to say it, but...", and then I tell them. I used to think that the universe would implode if I told people this, but after a while, you realize that nothing happens at all. Such a relief to be honest about it.
Relieved to know I am not alone about this and came across your channel. All that you've said is 100% me. I feel the same. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for this video, never felt so relatable before especially with never feeling close to any "surface level friends". I think the algorithm is blessing you because it seems to be popping up in random people's feed (myself included) and YT knows many of us are loners and can relate. We loners need to accept that it isn't a bad thing! 😮
He who walks alone has the strongest direction. I LOVE being alone.💯😁
Hi. I just wanted to say thank you for this. It takes tremendous courage to discuss this stuff in public and I commend you for allowing others to hear your story - I know I feel less alone in hearing it. This was in my recommended and I was blown away as I watched bc I’ve been through so much of what you talked about here! I also switched schools in elementary over 6 times (not due to moving, I have unstable parents and was forced to leave my friends until I no longer had any). Continued even through high school to be moved around. And I totally relate to what I also call “surface friends” as I have tons of those. And for people like us, it looks like we’re the life of the party and always having so much fun. In reality, it’s so lonely. No one cares on my birthday or holidays. Those “friends” disappear. I’m so glad you seem to be at peace with your situation. I’m still working on that with mine. Sorry for rambling, I’m just so happy to hear someone be so real & relatable - it means more than words can say.
Sincere and authentic, refreshing!
Lifelong lone wolf.
You're so gorgeous and intelligent!
Your example on Toronto is what has happened to me in Portland, OR 2020-2022. I built up so much shame in myself though that it got out of control and then I began drinking. Which I never had a problem with before. Whew. Now I'm starting to settle down inside a bit.
Thanks for this. Loners are more valuable than we think.
Appreciate your honesty. For the young people who live in nyc or other cities. Relationships both friendships and romance are such an amazing part of the adventure. Having a great romance in a city can be so inspirational and creates life long incredibly special memories. Having great friends will create a different kind of inspiration, connection, emotional growth and understanding and so much more .
With that being said I’m on more of the loner side as well and I hate when people try and impose there strategies for life on me so in no way am I saying “you need friends or romance “ I’m simply saying they can add a lot to life
Your backstory really resonates with me! I also had a very similar experience and it does take a big toll on our self confidence. I almost carry this automatic fear or assumption when I meet new people to this day. I still feel myself anxiously trying to cater to new people to make sure they would at least like me. Just wanted to leave a comment because your childhood really sounds like mine 🥺 thanks for sharing!
Yeah same
The best way you have done in your life. Friend´s turn you addicted, dependable, unhappy. Alone you are bold, peaceful, good tempered, happy with almost nothing, You know how valuable you are. You are a great person, non popular is better. Thank you for sharing your cause, and love. Blessings from Panamá.
I've tried to unnormalize peer pressure in my life and to practice self reflection. I think it makes me a better person who empathizes more with people even if I don't have many friends. You're never alone if you're doing what you want to.
thank you for making and sharing this video :) it rly helpful for me as a loner
Good video! I wasn't looking for this content, but being older and growing up with many of the same experiences, I found I could really relate to much of what you said. Especially the part about going through that realization where it looks like you have a lot of friends and people you go out with, but they are largely not true friends... The part where you mentioned they are talking about everyone else, so what are they saying about you? The reality is most people who think they have lots of friends only have lots of acquaintances, many of which are quite toxic. That doesn't mean you can't have a good time with them doing stuff you enjoy doing, but at the end of the day, they generally are not true close friends that really care about you. In fact, it's a safe bet most of them wouldn't really go out of their way to help you in a true time of need...
interesting topic, thanks for sharing and the algorithm! the covid lockdowns had me reevaluate the basis of my friendships and my purpose. i was always the person checking in on people, and not the other way around. i was vulnerable with people i trusted, and didn’t get the support from them. and i realized that i will continue to miss out on life and opportunities if i’m waiting for the approval of others. i’ll still invite friends to concerts, hikes, etc, and if they cancel, it’s all good, i’m not going to let others people’s actions affect my emotions. and I’ve met more people doing things alone than when I used to stay in a group. As a bonus, i’ve been sober for 3 years🤗
I relate to this on so many level! Thanks for sharing your experience and your thoughts! It helped me a lot as a loner too! ❤
This is so relatable, rather have just a few authentic friends than a big group who aren't.
Wow, I"m so glad I ran across your video my friend. I am 48 years old, but an absolute life-time loner...lol....hey I've never been in a relationship of any kind whatsoever, so I'm glad I'm not alone.....no pun attended....No in all seriousness, I enjoyed what you had to say. I valued everything you had to say. Just subscribed to your channel too.
I'm an introvert, I like both but mostly an introvert, socially, awkward, depression, anxiety. I like being a loner for a lot of reasons. I don't have to hear about drama or be involved, I don't mind helping people but I also need me time because I have my own issues but some of them just keeps coming back for more advices which is fine! but me time to reflect on those I've helped and being proud of just doing anything is a plus. I know I'll never be happy but I can be damn proud of myself and so can many human beings.
So True. It's not worth having "friends" who you cannot have more that superficial conversations with.
True, and if anything they use you to complain and then they ditch you.. it’s extra emotional stress put on you, and they are never there to help you.. nor there to have any deeper conversation.
I appreciate your making this video. I could relate to a lot of the things you talked about. I also moved around and moved schools a lot growing up and have been mostly a loner type person. I can also relate to the idea of being a loner but then gaining friends. And then since the pandemic, I too have felt like my social life has drastically been reduced to virtually 0%.
This video is a good reminder that it's okay to be someone who spends their time mostly alone. On social media there is a lot of pressure to be social or have a lot of pals and best friends whom you hang out with all the time. I think this is especially true if you do have a social "scene" or community that you are, or once were, a part of.
You make a good point about the importance of having to make the effort to be more social. This is one of the things I've found to be quite challenging lately, but it is a good reminder to hear. What you say about seeking out social events without feeling like it's something you HAVE to do is another good point.
I also like that you seem to have found a platform to express your creativity for yourself. As a person who has always felt a bit apart, I have often struggled with the internal doubts that what I might have to say is even important or worth saying. There is that part that asks, "Who would even care? What would even be the point of putting anything out there?" Sometimes it is to the point where I don't even know what it is I am wanting to say. So in that sense, I think it is very cool and inspiring that you have created a platform for yourself. I would definitely be interested to hear if you have any strategies for your creative process, or if you have struggled with similar type of questions/doubts. Anyways, thanks for making a cool video.
Interestingly, as a Veteran; I moved around a lot and got out of the military where I had tons of friends and moved to a place I was unfamiliar with. So for the last 4ish years; I been on my own doing my own thing. I’m an introvert, so I’m good by myself, but the sense of loneliness was real in the first two or so years. I love being by myself now, and I have a dog to keep me company. I love videos like this 💪🏽
Just stumbled on this vid. Thanks for sharing, definitely hit home. Some days, feels like I have lots of friends, but other times, there's not one person I would want to talk to.....and you've made it seem that IT IS OK, just to want to be with yourself.
As someone who has a lot of friends (not because im cool like that, but because my high school was a tight-knit group and I still live in the same city)... I started to find so much happiness being alone in the past year. There's something about learning to love time with yourself, that allows you see what really makes you happy. Also, you're so pretty, I'm sure girls are threatened by you, tbh.
I say that because through the years, I've been able to distance myself from toxic friendships where my success somehow made them feel a certain way. I feel like real friends should genuinely be happy when you succeed. When they don't, they typically have their own issues they need to work though before they could be a good friend - or person for that matter.
Officially requesting a Solo Date Vlog haha. Also, mic sounds great!
I found it SO bizarre when people switch up on you for doing well and finding success! 1000% agree that's a huge red flag of a toxic friendship, true friends should be cheering each other on + be there when things aren't going well, no one should make you feel like you need to dim your own light. the girls being threatened thing... that can be a a whole other video lolol. thank you for sharing your story 💗 and YES I've added a solo date vlog to the list ☺️
Staying alone never makes me feel lonely, trying to fit in with ppl does, never finding friends is essential. it feels like a waste of time to make one.
Wow I loveddd this. I related to so much of what you said - like to a shocking level lol (from feeling like you didn’t belong as a kid, to the “glow up” and surface level friendships, to prioritizing your peace and hoping for high quality deeper friendships in the future). Was very nice to see somebody feels similarly!! also love seeing a sit down vid from you and hearing more of ur thoughts, excited to see that podcast one day 🫶🏼
I’m so glad to hear that it resonated with you too! 💗 it’s easy to feel like we’re all alone in these experiences, but I’m realizing many of us have experienced our own versions of not belonging and friendship challenges. this definitely gave me more motivation to get going on a podcast 🫶🫶
You're so mature at such a young age, especially with regard to your reflections on fake friends. I wish I had learned my lesson on that sooner.
To be honest. People this generation don’t know how to be social. Everyone pretty awkward. When you get older you realize you need less friends and not important anymore. You want to be around people with great mindset and similar goals. Saves you a lot of drama and you have a peaceful and successful life. It is healthy to have some close friends to speak to from time to time.
If you need a friend to talk to I can be there for you. Have a great day! 😊
You are an empower full young woman. I sense great vibes off of you. You give out that energy that speaks to your viewers.
I'm 49 and I'm extremely introverted. I'm constantly protecting my peace because people at work are always invasive and crowding my space. I'm up for a good conversation but the small talk and just constantly babbling without letting say a word is incredibly draining. Now I have to put on noise canceling earbuds to be in my own space.
I know why I am like this and it's definitely because of my traumatic childhood. I've come to love myself and my personal space. Currently I am sidelined from work for 3 months with a leg injury and I love this time to be alone. I am proud of my lifestyle and will protect it at all cost. Being an introvert/loner is not a curse. It's a superpower. You observe and take notice of a lot things that others don't know about. Also living peacefully is an extraordinary gift that most would love to harness but if they had it would crumble because they would feel lonely and depressed. I feel like I'm part of an elite class of people.
Thank you for sharing your video
I'm a loner to and it's made me more happier then being with people being a loner has made me feel free and at peace
Fully accepting ourselves and the ability to be comfortably alone are necessary to become the best version of ourselves. However, socially isolating oneself can also be problematic because having significant self-awareness (which is a cornerstone of inner peace) also requires regular interactions with others who invariably provide alternative perceptions. If your goal is to achieve inner peace and a greater sense of happiness, then engaging in somewhat intimate (not necessarily sexual) relationships/conversations is needed if only on a limited basis. Those people who have been harmed by others, especially during formative years generally must manage these interactions carefully to avoid the rekindling of painful past experiences. However, risking that pain (again) is necessary albiet with precautions. Having peace inside leads to so many positive behaviors to include assisting others in a genuine way and also enables a person to achieve long term, intimate relationships. GL on your journey.
loneliness is a super powe!! love this. been practicing self love and discovery for 5 yrs
Girl, this was just the video I needed too!! I’d totally be your friend 🫶 I too am more introverted than anything, and making friends has been a hard thing for me as well. I’m very picky about my energy and who I let into my life. And I’ve grown to find more peace in this, despite feeling like I too didn’t belong much✨ sending so much love to you! ❤
ahhh thanks girl 🫶🫶 I think being picky about these things is a good thing!! life is too short to not prioritize your own peace :)
When I saw this video I immediately clicked on it, I knew it would shine some light on the past, very, difficult months for me. As a low-energy teenager in her first year of high school, I found myself alone frequently. I found that I became tired more easily, and so I’d have some time being individual; away from the crowds and people in general. I know being alone isn’t bad, and I often felt so okay with being alone. However, I quickly picked up a mindset that I’d “die alone” if I didn’t sit with people at lunch, or if I didn’t hang out with anyone after school etc etc. Then, my eyes narrowed in on the fact that I “didn’t have” as many “friends” as the other people in my grade, and this all made me so anxious. This is all most likely due by my strong need for conformity.
Honestly, this video really helped. Seeing someone older than me, someone successful, confident and well-spoken, coming out of a problem I’m currently dealing with really, truly, made me have hope again! Thank you so much 💕💕
I've been an introvert all my life. Had friends in high school, but a few good ones only. Now, no real friends, just acquaintances. It's not social anxiety per se, it's more like "I don't want to deal with the complexities of having and managing a friends circle lol". Never bored alone. I always have projects I'm working on. I also consider myself a social extravert. If I convince myself to show up at a social event, I'm the life of the party... but then I need to recharge alone like for 3 days lol